A Beautiful Mess
by Risbee
Summary: Edward and Bella are best friends who take a chance on love together before she leaves for two months in Europe. Will they be able to survive when she returns and their lives change drastically? Extended Version of o/s London Calling. Rated M
1. Upheaval

**A/N: Hi All… We're back! This is the extended version of the one shot entitled 'London Calling' written by Risbee and Coldplaywhore. We got some great reviews with our initial one shot, and thanks to all of you, we decided to make this thing full multi-chapter story. **

**If you read the one shot, please note this story will revisit everything that happened in greater detail. Whereas the one shot started with their graduation, we have stepped back in time a little bit to help build their characters. So enjoy the additions.**

**We don't own Twilight, we just have vivid imaginations and lots of wine.**

**EPOV**

"You do realize you are being completely psycho right? Just calm down and stop stressing so much and the words will come to you. However, I think we should focus more on what we are going to do this summer. Emmett has mentioned a camping trip, but I'm not sure about it," I said to Bella as she tapped her pencil against her notepad. She had a brand new two thousand dollar laptop, a graduation gift from her parents, and yet she was going old-school with a pencil and paper.

"Edward, this is major and it's going to take more than five fucking minutes for me to write something epic that will stay in the minds of our fellow classmates and their families," Bella stated, the frustration clear in her voice as she tossed her pencil at me, missing by a mile, before she grabbed another one from her desk and went back to work. As long as I had known her, Bella always seemed to have an endless supply of pencils and highlighters. It was probably one of the reasons she was the valedictorian and had the highest GPA in the school. I was just her best friend who once cheated off of her on a history test. She didn't know that though.

"These are people you have known since birth, who live in a tiny shithole town in the middle of nowhere. Do you really think they will remember your speech? No offense, I'm sure your words will be fantastic, but these people can barely remember who the Mayor of Craptown is, let alone your grad speech," I stated, trying to be helpful, but apparently only succeeding in pissing her off further.

"Thanks for being so supportive Edward. Remind me to never let you give the eulogy at my funeral. 'Bella will be missed… thanks for coming, the reception is being catered by Domino's'," she retorted with a slight laugh as I sat down on the edge of her bed and began staring out her window. It was a gorgeous May afternoon, and here we were fussing over her damned speech instead of hanging out like regular kids. Of course, I wanted to be where Bella was, so here I sat.

"Why don't you find some meaningful quotes or something online? Maybe reflect a bit on the past several years at Forks High," I suggested as Bella nodded her head slowly, apparently liking my suggestion. "I know you want to do something serious, but you could also go the funny route and talk about Mr. Johnson and Mrs. Paige having an affair or maybe talk about when Mrs. Cope hit Mike Newton with her car. Sure, it was just a little scrap and his ankle healed quickly, but fuck it was funny."

"Yeah, I prefer your original suggestion, so let's skip the humor and look online for some quotes," she said sweetly as she pulled her laptop over to her bed and came to sit beside me, her scent overcoming me as the bed depressed and she pulled her legs underneath her lithe body. "Where do you think we should start?" she asked casually as I continued to watch her as she brushed her hair from her shoulder and I smiled without remorse, glad that she was my best friend if nothing else.

"How about Shakespeare, you love that old bard," I stated sardonically and Bella laughed as she typed in Shakespeare quotes into her Google search bar. I watched in awe as she began whipping through web pages like Usain Bolt running the 50 meter dash, her fingers dancing away effortlessly on the keys as she bookmarked a few items and took some notes. I just sat back, leaning on my hands and watched her.

Bella and I had been best friends since the moment she was born a few months after me. Our mothers had grown up in Forks together and had been best friends since they were embryos so it only made sense that when they settled down and had kids, Bella and I would be inseparable. The happiest memories of my life all centered on the girl with the flowing chestnut hair and soulful brown hair who was struggling to write her speech and running her fingers along the keyboard. The day I found out that we would both be going to the University of Washington together in Seattle, I did a little happy dance, of course I did it in my closet so no one saw me, but it was all good. No one knew about the dance, but there was something else no one knew.

I was in love with Isabella Swan.

I wasn't ashamed to admit it to myself, but I couldn't speak the words out loud. As much as I wanted her in every single sense of the word, I was unwillingly to ruin our friendship because I wasn't certain that we would work as well as a couple as we worked as best friends. My best friend Emmett was always trying to get me to go out on double dates with some of the girls he dated, which tended to make things awkward. He made me tag along to be the date of some friend that Emmett's girl would bring, but I always found myself thinking about Bella and wishing I was with her instead. I had yet to have a serious relationship, which was probably why I was still a virgin at seventeen, soon to be eighteen years old.

In the past few weeks I had been formulating a plan of sorts that I hoped would change everything. We had the entire summer to spend together and I wanted to make the most of each second, showing Bella how much she meant to me. I wanted to go camping, spend days hiking through the woods, tour the bookstores in Port Angeles that I knew she loved so much. Hell, I would even help her pack every single scrap of paper in her room to take to college if it meant I got to spend time with her. I was desperate to head off to college with Bella as my best friend and my girlfriend, and time was on my side to make this happen.

"Earth to Edward," I heard Bella say, pulling me from my thoughts. "Did you hear anything I said?"

"Honestly, no…" I admitted reluctantly as Bella slapped my arm with the back of her hand and groaned. "Would you have preferred I lied and said that yes I had heard you?"

"No, but pay attention jackass. What do you think of these quotes?" she questioned as I looked down at her screen and read the text gracing it. It was alright, but clearly wasn't written by Shakespeare, but it wasn't that bad.

"Meh… it's alright. You know, you could look up speeches given for university commencement addresses. Didn't Ellen give one down at Tulane last year? I bet that was funny. I think Hilary Clinton spoke at Columbia University, so you can try that too," I said earnestly as Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her. Her tits were pressed against my chest and my breath hitched slightly as she kissed my cheek. God, this was awesome and I would no doubt be beating off to memories of this later.

"That's a great idea Edward, thanks so much," she gushed as she pulled away and I watched her fingers type at record speed again. It was only fifteen minutes later that Bella declared herself done for the afternoon and she turned towards me, looking rather pleased with herself. "So, tell me about these plans you have for us for the summer."

We sat back against her headboard, playing random games of thumb war as I told her about what I wanted to do. I outlined everything I saw us doing over the summer, leaving out the hot sex and making out I had fantasized about, but I knew there would be a lot more involved than just hanging out. I had no idea how the hell I was going to verbalize my thoughts and feelings for her. Perhaps Hallmark made a card for such an occasion?

_I'm sorry I'm emotionally stunted, but I have loved you forever. Wanna_ _be my girl and have lots of sex?_

"Yeah that probably isn't a good idea," I muttered quietly to myself as Bella looked up from our joined thumbs and stared at me curiously.

"What isn't a good idea?" she questioned, obviously having heard me.

"Umm… running with scissors?" I said randomly as I shrugged my shoulders and she looked at me with an endearing smile.

"You are so fucking weird, but I love it," she said sweetly as I pressed her thumb down and declared myself the winner of our latest battle. However, I would truly be the winner if she had said she loved me. That would be epic. I brushed my hand slowly down Bella's arm and watched as goose bumps broke out. I was about to say something in response to her, but the door suddenly flew open and there stood Bella's mom, Renee, looking frazzled.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," she said with a sly wink as I heard Bella groan and my heart sank.

"You should know better than that mom. Edward has seen me naked before," she said and I wished she was talking about something more recent and not when we were three and we played in a huge mud puddle out behind my parents house one day, requiring us to have a bath together. "We don't think of each other like that." _Think again, Bella._

"Sure, whatever you say Bella. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that dinner is ready. Will you be joining us tonight Edward?" asked Renee, her voice soft and genial as I shook my head in the negative. It was common for me to spend a few nights a month having dinner over at Bella's house, but it was even more common that Renee ordered pizza and we all sat in the living room and ate while watching SportsCenter with Charlie.

"Not tonight. My mom is making my favorite, tuna casserole, so I should head back to Casa De Cullen," I replied as I hopped up off of the bed and grabbed my backpack from the floor. We should have been doing homework while I was there, but I never even opened a single textbook, choosing to study Bella as intently as I could instead. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yup. Let me walk you out," said Bella as we both followed her mom down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her father, Charlie, was perched in his seat at the kitchen table and was still dressed in his uniform. He was the Chief of Police for our podunk little town of 3,000 and every single guy in our school was afraid of him. No wonder Bella rarely got asked out in our four years of high school. Then again, I might have scared a few of them away over the years as well, with some well meaning words that discouraged them from asking her out.

"Are you coming over tomorrow? I know Alice has been desperate to see you," I questioned as I stepped out onto her porch and Bella rested on her shoulder against the open door. "She mentioned something about you playing Disney Scene It with her. She says she's been practicing." Alice was my younger sister and she had just turned eight. If I thought I was overprotective of Bella, the boys in this town would rue the day they met me when Alice started to date.

Bella tapped her finger gently against the smooth skin on her chin, as though she was thinking of something intently. "Sure, I'll come over. Tell Alice that I've been researching online about the history of Disneyworld just to scare her. Of course, I've rarely had time to do anything other than think about my speech."

"You are the smartest girl I know Bella. If anyone can pull of this valedictorian speech and make it seem effortless, it would be you," I said honestly as Bella leaned forward and gave me a small hug. "If you come over early, Mom is gonna be making blueberry waffles."

"Well hell, I might as well just sleep over then," said Bella as she threw back her head in laughter and my eyes focused on the curve of her neck, which I wished with all my might that I was kissing right now. I also wished she was sleeping over at my house, which was something we hadn't done she Bella had grown breasts. Our mothers thought it would be uncomfortable and I just thought it was mean, especially since that was about the time I began to realize I felt something more for Bella than just friendship. "I'll be there around nine, alright?"

**BPOV**

How Edward always seemed to know exactly what I needed, I would never quite understand. It was almost like he could read my mind by the way he constantly seemed to be one step ahead of my panic attacks. I had been stressing about my Valedictorian speech since our freshman year, because it had been a mission of mine since the first day of school, and now I only had days to get it done. I wanted it to stand out and be memorable, inspiring even. I wanted it to be the perfect combination of philosophy and humor bordering on sentimental overload. That wasn't too much to ask, right? I needed to make a lasting impression on the somewhat mundane minds of the people we were graduating with. Then when I was about to completely freak the fuck out, he had to bring up the time when Mrs. Cope basically ran over Mike Newton. Crisis averted.

Edward always knew how to talk me off the proverbial ledge. Inseparable since childhood, we always managed to get each other out of scrapes and less than ideal situations. If we couldn't, well then we usually ended up joining the other in whatever random situation we managed to get ourselves into. One of my favorite adventures was when he decided to steal a can of yellow spray paint out of his parent's garage and hit it with a hammer. I swear the tree we hid behind _still_ has yellow paint on it. We were quite the pair when we were younger...and I'm not totally convinced he's not the reason why my parents didn't have more kids. They didn't need to. They had Edward.

Now we were graduating and finally leaving Forks for whatever it was that awaited us out in the world and I was beginning to get nervous about what that meant for the two of us together. I needed Edward in my life and the possibility of him making new friends and moving on without me scared the living shit out of me. We would always be friends, of that I was certain, but I had lots of friends. I only had one Edward.

_But what happens when he finds a girlfriend, Bella?_

I can't even begin to think about that. I'd spent the past four years trying to steer him clear of all the floozies and complete idiots that tried to get in his pants or to get him in theirs on a daily basis. Edward was fucking hot and the dumbass totally didn't see it. He didn't hear the explicit commentary from the girls in our class. He didn't see the looks they gave him as he walked across the cafeteria on the way to _our _table. Seriously, even the lunch ladies would stop and stare before watching him walk away, most likely having very explicit fantasies about him.

_Don't judge. Have you seen the boy walk?_

He'd gone out with a few girls here and there, but he always asked me what I thought about them, as though my opinion was the only one that mattered. I may or may not have been ridiculous with my assessments -- even going so far as to borrow the "Man Hands" excuse from Seinfeld. It wasn't one of my proudest moments, but what can you do? Was it jealousy? Hmm… possibly. Okay, absolutely - not that I was ready to admit it to anybody else at this point. There was too much at stake.

So yes, I wanted my best friend. Badly.

It was either my impressive self-control or total stupidity that kept me from jumping him in the hallways of Forks High School between classes when other girls were around and tried to get close to him.

What I felt towards Edward was unlike anything I had ever felt towards anybody else, ever. Sure I'd gone on dates with other guys and even used the term 'boyfriend' for one or two of them, but nobody ever made me feel as complete as I did with Edward. However, that wasn't something I could just throw out there. I needed a plan. Fortunately, I had all summer to figure it out.

When Edward started talking about all the plans he had for us this summer, I couldn't help but adore him even more. About a month ago, I had been rejected from a summer abroad program and when I found out, I immediately called Edward in tears and he came over and convinced me that my life was not over and that he was making it his personal mission to make our last summer in Forks the best ever. We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing and making a list of things to do...and by the time the sun came up the next morning, I had a new outlook on everything.

This afternoon on my bed while we were thumb wrestling, the feelings between us were intense. One minute we were joking and being our usual goofy selves and the next I couldn't take my eyes off of him or think of anything but the feel of his touch as he ran his fingers up and down my arm. The sensation of Edwards fingers on my skin as he traced up and down my arm...sweet jeebus that was hot. I could have killed my mom for barging in my room and ruining the moment between us. It didn't help matters that she thought something else was going on and she looked at me curiously when I tried to downplay the situation, which she just needed to stop. The last thing I needed was for Renee and Esme to get in on the plotting and make it their mission to get Edward and me together. They had dropped hints over the years, well… since I had developed and clearly wanted their children to end up together. However, if I was going to act on this, I was going to do it carefully… and without their interference.

I followed Edward down the stairs… _again, don't judge_, and walked him to the front door with the promise of seeing him bright and early the next morning for waffles. I knew he adored his little sister, that much was evident, but part of me was a little heartbroken that this was all set up so I could go drown in the world of Disney Princesses. I was always Belle... it was a little predictable. There was more to me than just books and taking care of my father -- sometimes I wanted to be Ariel, or even Jasmine. They got to have adventures, and got the Prince in the end. Though Edward's hair did remind me more of the Beast than of Prince Eric. Even underwater his hair was perfect...and that was such a waste. Apparently the effect of sex hair was lost on Disney.

_Wow, I really need to get out more._

I was so caught up in Edward's hair that I barely caught myself before I started to run my fingers through it. That would have been hard to explain. Of course, I saw Renee looking at me through the kitchen window practically beaming again, before reaching for the phone on the counter. _Did she just waggle her eyebrows?_ I needed to get inside soon before she started booking caterers and reception sites. She was probably calling Esme to tell her that Edward and I were having some sort of 'moment', which wasn't the case at all.

Since it was raining, again, I stood at the top of the steps and watched Edward dash to his car trying to avoid getting too wet. He carefully maneuvered down our driveway but before he took off down our quiet street, he stopped at the front of the house and opened the window. I could see a few raindrops as they freed themselves from the confines of his hair and trickled down his jaw line. I wanted to lick him.

"Is anything wrong," he asked looking a little concerned.

"No. Why?" I replied, suddenly well aware of the fact that I never walked Edward out when he left my house before, much less watched him leave. _Fantastic. I can't let him figure out what's going on in my head until I figure it out myself._

"Nothing, I guess. I'll call you later. Stop stressing about your speech and don't forget to check your work schedule to see when we can go camping. I need to let Emmett know something soon. Gotta run. Tuna Casserole waits for no man."

"I see how it is. Your stomach growls and you leave me. I'll check my schedule after dinner and email you later." I grinned and turned to check the mailbox before opening the door, trying to appear like everything was cool. Renee or Charlie must have got the mail because there was nothing inside, so I tentatively opened the door and went in to help with dinner.

I watched my parents for a moment before letting them know I was back inside. Charlie was sitting at the table and Renee was off the phone but was still flitting around like a hyper-active bumble bee trying to get dinner ready. I let out a deep sigh and couldn't help but notice that the house seemed empty without Edward here. It was crazy since I'd seen him all day, would talk to him tonight and probably repeat the whole scenario tomorrow and the next day and the next. It's just what we did. Where there was one of us, you could usually find the other. Lately though, I had begun to feel empty when I wasn't around him.

I walked further into the room and noticed the curious and yet somewhat amused expression on Renee's face as I closed the door behind me. Then, I realized that she was actually cooking and I stopped still. Huh? I felt like I had been transported to the Twilight Zone because the table was set and there was real food on the stove. Even more curious was the fact that Charlie was still in his uniform and already sitting down at the table instead of in the living room watching the news or some sporting event...something was going on.

"Mom, is everything okay?" I asked nervously. Renee was usually so bubbly it was almost obnoxious. The energy was definitely still there, but the look in her eyes right now was almost sympathetic, and yet it wasn't. "Did someone die? You look like you did the day that dad accidentally shot my gerbil Clarence when he was cleaning his gun."

She looked like the cat that swallowed the canary and as I watched her movements and her expression, I suddenly felt like it needed to throw up. I looked over at her and stared as she picked up a large manila envelope from the counter, clutching it in her hands so tight her knuckles turned white, the logo in the corner looking all too familiar. It was not the small envelope that held my rejection letter from the summer abroad program, but a big fat 8x11 version. One that would only hold lots of information, because let's face it; you don't need a lot of paper to say 'no way José'. I was confused though, especially since I had already received all my college acceptance letters. I was going to UW, with Edward, in just over ten weeks.

"This came for you today in the mail, Bella." she said, hopping around like her pants were on fire. "I didn't want to bring it to you while Edward was here in case it is what I'm pretty sure it is, but you need to open it. Open it, open it, open it!" She was practically bouncing at this point and I couldn't help but start giggling at her enthusiasm, or maybe it was nerves. I took the large envelope from her hands and looked at the return address. University of Washington Exchange Program.

I opened it and with shaking hands pulled out the pages of information that was on the inside.

_No way._

_Dear Ms. Swan:_

_We are pleased to announce that you have been accepted in to the 2009 Summer Abroad program – The Grand Tour. In this program, we start in London and, following in the footsteps of the young men and women of a bygone era, will make stops in Paris, the Alps, and Rome. At each stage of our journey, we will get a taste of the literary, cultural, and artistic banquet enjoyed by these young people whose Grand Tour, centuries ago, taught them about the wide, wild world and their own privileged place within it. _

_Enclosed you will find a travel itinerary, class assignments and housing arrangements for the ..._

_No fucking way._

In the background I could hear Renee squealing and see her still bouncing around like a Jack Russell on crack. Somebody needs to get her a sedative. Oh my God, now she was _crying?_ Dad was still sitting at the table, hands folded in front of him looking at me as if he could read my mind. I just needed to sit down and process this whole thing.

I mean, this was London, Paris, Switzerland and Italy. It was literally a dream come true for me.

This was the program I had dreamed about for months. The same program I was rejected from not four weeks ago. The very same program that would look phenomenal on my college records, resume and applications for grad school. The one that would take me away from Edward for eight weeks. _Shit._

Pulling a chair out from the kitchen table, I sat down and stared at the pages, trying to comprehend just what I was holding in my hands. This was such a huge opportunity for me and I had wanted it more than anything else… at the time, but I couldn't help myself as my mind wandered to thoughts of Edward.

Could I survive eight weeks away from Edward? Did I even want to try? The longest we had ever been apart before was just over a week when his family went to Disneyland and I was stuck back in Forks, but he had called every night and told me in graphic detail about each ride, game and meal he had participated in.

I mean, I knew that getting into this program was huge, but I'd already reconciled in my mind that I wasn't going and I was looking forward to spending time with my friends for our last summer together. The beach, parties, camping. Camping with Edward. Open skies, campfires, tents and sleeping bags. Sharing sleeping bags with Edward.

_Bella, get a grip. He doesn't know how you feel. _

_He has all these plans, though. _

_Yeah, plans he came up with because you were so upset at the idea of staying in Forks. You WANT to go to Europe. So what's the problem?_

"Bella? Bella? Sweetheart, you need to breathe."

I looked up from where I was sitting to find Charlie kneeling on the floor beside my chair. Renee was frantically fanning me with the empty envelope until Charlie reached up and grabbed it from her. He took the information from my hands and smoothed out the crumpled pages, which I had grasped so firmly in my hands I was practically ripping them apart, before placing them on the table in front of his chair. He grabbed another chair and placed it next to mine, motioning for mom to take a seat beside me.

She sat down next to me and I leaned my head on her shoulder. As spastic as she may be, she was still my mom and knew better than anyone how to comfort me. She started combing her fingers through my hair and before I knew it, my breathing had evened out and I was ready to discuss the opportunity.

I watched as Charlie looked over the pages of information from UW, studying them intently as if they held clues to Forks' one unsolved mystery. He fired off questions left and right like I was one of his suspects in the interrogation room. It was somewhat intimidating, but it was the way Charlie worked. No nonsense and straight to the point and it was exactly what I needed.

"Bella, do you want to go to Europe?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to go for this program specifically?"

"Yes."

"Why do you want to leave here so bad? Would you be as happy taking classes at UW instead?"

I stared blankly at him. Did he really just ask me that?

"Dad, its _EUROPE_. There is culture and history and museums, well I guess that's the same as culture.... I can't really quantify it, I just know that I've wanted this for months and when I thought it wasn't going to happen I was a wreck. I need to experience life out there, Dad. Forks is great, but there's more out there and I need to see it. I need to breathe. Opportunities like this don't just happen to me."

Renee would chime in every now and then about the shopping and hot guys with foreign accents and I had to give her kudos for that one. I was a sucker for a good accent -- except for when Edward tried to channel Austen Powers. Yeah, that wasn't so awesome.

Edward.

Shit.

What was I going to do?

Two hours later, after we had finished dinner and my parents helped me weigh my options, I finally excused myself from the table and went upstairs to try and wrap my head around everything that had happened today.

I had until Friday to notify UW as to whether or not I was going to take the open spot in the program. Somehow, I had convinced Renee not to say anything about this opening, citing not wanting to risk losing my job at Newton's Outfitters in case I decided not to go. _Yeah right, because losing that job would be so wretched._

I started picking up the pencils that I had thrown at Edward during the day and laughed at how he tried to dodge out of their way. I didn't want to tell him about the program yet because I knew what he would tell me to do. He was my biggest cheerleader, always believing I was capable of more than I thought possible.

It would be so much easier if I didn't want to stay home this summer or if I didn't want to go to Europe. Unfortunately, I wanted both, and unless there was a way to become two different people and be able to be in two different places at the same time, I had a big decision to make. Ohh, maybe I could get a time turner like Hermoine in Harry Potter. That would probably only work if I was in the same location though and I can't transport myself from London to Forks sadly.

I flung myself across my bed, avoiding the pillows because I knew they'd smell like Edward and I needed to think with a clear head. I rolled onto my back and watched the ceiling fan spin around and around, while I played out different possible scenarios for the summer. My phone buzzed on my nightstand and when I reached over I noticed the clock said 1:30 am. I should have realized I had been dreaming when I was suddenly in front of Buckingham Palace playing Harry Potter Scene-It with the Queen and J.K. Rowling. Why the fuck did Edward and I have to watch the Goblet of Fire the other night?

_Is everything ok? You never emailed me your schedule and you didn't call to say goodnight... ~E_

I quickly typed back my response so he wouldn't worry. I was just thankful that he texted instead of calling. There was no way I'd be able to hide anything from him if he could hear my voice.

_Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't feel so well after dinner and I guess I must have fallen asleep. ~B_

_Do you need me to grab Carlisle's doctor bag and come over? ~E_

Suddenly it was really, really hot in my room and my heart was pounding. The boy could distract me without even trying. The visions of him in a doctor's coat, tending to my needs didn't help matters either. There was no doubt in my mind that he was simply being sweet, but I couldn't help the lustful thoughts that crept into my mind.

_I'll be ok. I think I just need a good night's sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Don't forget the waffles. ~B_

_I'll never forget Bella. ~E_

_I know. ~B _

**A/N: What did you think? Hate it… or are you really glad we extended the original? If you really love CPW, you will go review at Risbee's account… CPW is already an established writer with WAY too many stories under her belt, so go show some love for the newbie.**

**Click here and then review: www** **.** **fanfiction** **.** **net/u/1819949/Risbee (remove the spaces beside the . obviously )**

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	2. Decisions

**A/N: Lookie lookie… we are back with yet another exciting chapter. For those of you who read London Calling and are now reading this story, please realize something… this is **_**not**_** just a continuation of that initial one shot. We are expanding the relationship between Bella and Edward, as well as showing more into their days together before she leaves for Europe. Yes, before you ask again, we will have more detail about what happens after Europe and they head off to UW together. It seems many of you were confused by this and requested we stop this story and go back to LC. Not gonna happen, so lay off the crack pipe folks. It's the same bloody story just with a few added bonuses!**

**Now that CPW's rant is over, we hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

**We don't own Twilight, but we both have a lot of Christmas presents to wrap for our kids!**

**EPOV**

School had reached the epitome of boring. It was the last week of high school, forever, for some of us, and no one was focused on anything. In fact, the only thing I found I could focus on was Bella. After our day of playing with Alice and eating waffles, Bella ended up leaving my house a lot sooner than I thought she would. She claimed that Renee had needed her at home, and even though I sensed something was wrong, I reluctantly let her go.

All night I lay in my bed wondering about what could be wrong. Of course, all my thoughts came back to the fact that she was just stressed about that damned valedictory speech. Hell, if I had known all the stress this would have caused her, I would have made her slack more often. I had to basically move heaven and earth to get Bella to skip classes with me one day and head to Port Angeles to The Dark Knight with me. She had complained and worried the entire time that she would get caught, and we almost didn't get caught. Not until she caved and told her mom. We both ended up grounded for a week.

Monday morning came and I didn't see Bella when I pulled into the school and as I waited impatiently for her, Emmett strolled in looking like the smug bastard he usually was.

"Guess who got laid this weekend?" he declared loudly as he looked around at our classmates hanging out in front of the school, who were all staring at him in surprise.

"Your mother?" I replied coolly as he punched me in the shoulder and I let out a small groan. Why the hell did I insist on antagonizing the only guy who had ever beaten me up?

"Fuck you jackass. Just because you can't get the one piece that you have wanted since fucking child birth, doesn't mean you can insult my mother. For the record, Mrs. McCarty is a fucking saint. She would throw herself in front of a train for you and you are sitting here insulting her?" he stated emphatically as I rolled my eyes and let out a low chuckle. Unfortunately for me, he was right. Mrs. McCarty was like a third mother to me behind my own and Renee, of course. "Anyways, as I was saying… I went to UW for a party with Eric and low and behold, I found one sweet ass piece, a third year at that and let me just say…"

"No Emmett, don't just say. You do realize I don't care about your sexual conquests or whatever the fuck you call them, so let's not discuss it anymore alright?" I replied as I noticed Renee's old Toyota pull into the parking lot and Renee dropped her off by the front door. "Seriously, no more horny teenage bull shit around Bella."

"No more what around Bella?" she said sweetly as she walked over, her backpack slung over her shoulder and her dark brown hair pulled up into an adorable ponytail. Did I just think something was adorable? Perhaps I should double check that I still have my balls.

"Nothing," I stammered nervously as she shook her head and walked into the school with me and Emmett directly behind her. I smacked him upside the head when he began making obscene gestures behind Bella's back which involved him spanking her ass. As much as I liked Emmett, he could be a complete jackass most of the time.

"So Emmett, did you finish your report for Spanish?" asked Bella casually as we stood by her locker, waiting as she shoved her books in and pulled out a few things she needed. Bella was seriously the only senior who still gave a shit about the next few days. It's not like there was that much that we could do between now and then that would lead us to fail.

"Meh… I did something. I think it was Spanish," he muttered as he stopped paying attention to us and began watching the student body walk through the corridors, most of the girls taking advantage of the warmer weather and dressing in the smallest items in their closets. Hell, what Jessica Stanley was wearing could barely pass as clothing on a toddler. "Shit, I think I see nipples."

"Emmett, could you be cruder?" asked Bella as Emmett simply shrugged his shoulders and looked back towards Jessica, who was sauntering down the hallway, swaying her hips as she attempted to be seductive.

"She's practically begging for me," stated Emmett firmly as Bella and I looked at each other and groaned simultaneously. If there was one thing Emmett wasn't, it was shy. "I've seen the way she looks at me and I know she wants it."

"Wants what?" I questioned as Bella nudged me on the shoulder and chimed in with her own retort.

"VD."

"Nice one Swan," he said sarcastically. "I'll show you all. At lunch today I'm going to invite her to join me at Newton's grad party and I will give her a night she won't forget," Em stated confidently as he gave us a quick wave and headed down the hallway towards his first period Government class. I waited as Bella closed up her locker and then we headed off to our Biology class together, ready to sit through the last week of Mr. Banner's boring lectures.

By the time lunch rolled around, I found myself eager to see Bella again, which was the usual for me. When I walked into the cafeteria, I quickly got into line and grabbed some lunch for both of us, knowing exactly what she liked and then grabbed our usual table. When she walked in, she saw me immediately and came over to join me, leaving Angela to go sit with her boyfriend Ben and their other group of friends.

"I got you a Cobb salad," I said genuinely as I lifted it from the tray and pushed it towards her seat, which she took eagerly.

"Thanks. So, Jessica cornered me at the end of calculus and asked me if you were going to Newton's party," said Bella, a hint of annoyance in her voice. I let out a small sigh and took a bite of my pizza, not really looking forward to hearing anything further about Jessica Stanley. I knew Bella and her didn't get along, and hadn't since the first grade when Jessica kissed me on the playground. In fact, Bella had been so upset that she threw sand at Jessica, who was then forced to go to the hospital to get it all out of her eyes. Both of them were still bitter about the playground antics, but Jessica never stopped trying to kiss me.

It got progressively worse the older we got, and I had to admit, Jessica's determination was a bit of a turn off. I had no idea what was in Emmett's brain to make him think that Jess wanted him, but it was funny to watch. "So, I told her if she wanted to know something about you, she should ask you."

"Oh… thanks," I said casually as Emmett pushed his way through the double doors of the cafeteria like he owned the place. He grabbed the last three slices of pizza and then came over to sit with us, his smug exterior getting a little annoying. "What has you so chipper?"

"I have it on good authority that a Little Miss Stanley is interested in some one on one time with the Emminator," he said with a smooth grin as Bella and I both laughed at the nickname he had given himself. Fuck, anything would have been better than that.

"I'm not really sure…" Bella began to say, until she was silenced by Emmett's hand because of course, Jessica was strolling her way over to our table.

"Edward, Emmett… Bella," she said, venom lacing her pronunciation of Bella's name. "Edward, I was wondering if I could talk to you in private for a minute. Please?"

"Uh, anything you need to say you can say in front of my best friends," I said emphatically as she rolled her eyes, most likely thinking I was being a pussy. I just didn't want to take the chance that she would get me alone somewhere and try to kiss me again. With my luck, Bella would see the whole thing and freak out, thinking that I wanted Jessica, which of course was the last thing I wanted. Then again, Bella didn't want me like that, so why would she care if Jessica kissed me… right?

"Oh well, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to Mike Newton's graduation party," she said slowly, trying to be seductive, but only succeeding in sounding a little lame.

"You what?" shouted Emmett, the piece of pizza he had in his hand flying across the room and smacking Taylor Jones right in the face. "Mother fucker. Now I lost a piece of pizza. Did I miss something?"

"Are you high Emmett?" asked Jessica as she perched her hand on her waist and stuck her chest out, as though she thought I was interested in her tits. Hell, there was nothing about her that was interesting to me. She stopped glaring at Emmett and then turned back to me, bending her head slightly and staring at me through her eye lashes. Was that supposed to be hot? "So Edward… what do you say? After graduation you finally give up the pretense that you don't like me and we go to Mike's party together and perhaps have some fun this summer before I head off to UCLA."

"You got into UCLA?" Bella choked out, some lettuce from her salad flying across the table. "You're shitting me right?"

"Um no, I'm taking psychology. What is it about this table throwing food around today anyways?" she asked, as she turned back towards me, looking clearly impatient that it had taken me so long to answer her. "So... are you going to go to the party?"

"Yeah, I'm probably going," I said as I darted my eyes towards Bella, who was now staring at her salad, not touching it. "I promised Bella that she and I would go together. Sort of a last hurrah as we move onto college ya know," I said as Bella lifted her head and gave me a small, gentle smile.

"Am I the only one who's wondering why the hell you two aren't fucking?" stammered Jessica angrily as she stormed from the table and I breathed a sigh of relief, even though I was slightly embarrassed by her comment.

"Thank god she is going to California. I don't think I could handle four more years of her aggression at UW." I took a big bite of my lunch and when I looked over at Bella, she was blushing slightly and whereas earlier it looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, now she looked as relieved as I felt. When I looked over at Emmett, he looked positively confused. "Are you gonna be okay there big guy?"

"She was asking you out… not me… seriously?" he stated as he looked at me as though I was a pariah.

"Emmett, have you been living under a rock? Jessica has wanted Edward since like the third grade or something like that," said Bella as I was quick to correct her.

"Actually Bells, it was the first grade where you threw dirt in her eyes, blinding her because she tried to kiss me," I explained as Emmett nodded at me knowingly.

"Oh yeah, that was fucking classic. Didn't she have to wear an eye patch for a few days because the sand was coarse and scratched her cornea or something," Emmett said as he looked over his shoulder and stared at Jess, who was now seated with her friends Lauren and Amanda. "Argh, she be looking like a crazy little lass for a few days matey," continued Emmett as he tried to talk like a pirate and came off sounding like a complete idiot.

"So are you over her not asking you out?" I said to Emmett as he finished his last bite of pizza and let out an obnoxious burp that was heard by most of the cafeteria.

"Yeah… I'll survive," sighed Emmett loudly as we started talking casually about Newton's party and then Angela and Ben joined our table. They were both heading to the University of Portland, Angela taking Education and Ben taking Engineering. "I just heard a rumor she put out on the first date, so I was kinda looking for something, even it if was just a mouth hug."

"Who are you talking about?" questioned Ben as he sat beside me, with Angela sitting beside Bella. "Oh wait, let me guess… Jessica Stanley?" Emmett started pointing at his nose and grinned widely, which showed me that he wasn't all that tore up about the fact that Jessica hadn't been interested in him.

We spent the rest of our lunch hour discussing grad and plans for the summer, and every time I looked over at Bella, she looked sad. I kicked her gently under the table and when she lifted her head, she gave a casual smile, but I knew something was up. Unfortunately for me, I had no afternoon classes with her, so I had to wait a bit until I could figure it out.

**BPOV**

Four more days of this. I looked around my English class at the faces of kids I'd been in school with since kindergarten, knowing that I'd probably never see some of them again after we graduated. As I looked over and saw Jessica, I realized that I was more than okay with that fact. I was still fuming over the stunt she tried to pull at lunch, but I was thankful that Edward had enough sense to turn her down. Poor Emmett though, I thought, still laughing at the look on his face when he realized that she wasn't coming on to him.

_Poor boy, he needs so much more that what Forks has to offer._

I thought about him at college and made a mental note to keep my roommate hidden. Hell, I should probably not even tell him which dorm I'm living in.

The bell rang, signifying the end of the classes for the day, and I made my way to my locker, eager to get out of here and clear my head. I looked over at Edward's locker, where he and Emmett were horsing around like typical boys. They looked so carefree and I was envious of their apparent joie de vivre because I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders these days. I still hadn't made up my mind about the exchange program and I had until Friday to let the directors know if I was accepting or not.

I don't know how long I stood at my locker, not really focusing on anything, but it must have been awhile. Mike stopped by and asked if I was going to make it to his party but I couldn't even remember what I told him. I was just off and I knew that things weren't going to get better until I got my shit straight. I knew I had to make a decision soon. Today, even.

That's where Angela came in. I told Edward to go hang out with the boys this afternoon, that I wanted a fresh set of eyes to help me with my speech. That was true to a point...but really I needed a level head and an unbiased opinion to run my thoughts past regarding going to Europe and I knew Angela would give it to me straight.

A loud crash brought me back to the present and I looked over to see Emmett rubbing the back of his head and Edward and Ben Cheney laughing hysterically. I knew Angela would be here soon if Ben was already with the guys. Edward looked over in my direction and caught me watching the three of them. He stopped what he was doing and smiled tentatively at me, his eyes asking me if everything was ok. I smiled back, trying my hardest to let him know that everything was good. I wasn't ready to let him know what was going on, especially since I didn't know myself. But he knew something was up and I couldn't keep it from him forever.

"Ready to go, Bella?" Tearing my eyes away from Edward, I threw my books in my locker and slammed it shut, sighing loudly before answering. "You have absolutely no idea, Angela. Let's get out of here."

We interlocked our arms and I leaned my head on her shoulder. Edward might own the title of best friend, but Angela was definitely a close second and no doubt my best girl friend. Since I was an only child and obviously had no sisters, Angela was as close as they came. I adored her.

As we passed by Edward, Emmett and Ben, I felt something bounce off the back of my head. I looked down on the floor and saw a wadded up piece of notebook paper. I turned to Edward and he was grinning and mouthed 'call me later'. I nodded and threw the paper back at him; missing again.

"Seriously Bella, what's next? Is he going to pull your pigtails?" Angela asked once we were out of earshot.

"Actually, he's probably more likely to start eating paste," I snorted, feeling better already.

"Whatever. Something tells me he's hungry for something other than art supplies...,"she winked and nudged me with her hip and I flushed at the insinuation. "Come on, Bella. Let's get out of here."

We walked out the door and into the parking lot, heading towards Angela's car. She pulled out of her parking spot and headed towards the exit, stopping suddenly when Jessica stepped out in front of the car, obviously not bothering to look and see if anybody was coming or not. She was yapping away on her cell phone totally unaware that she was holding up no less than four cars trying to leave. Total space cadet.

"You should have done us all a favor and run her over," I grumbled to myself, not really meaning for Angela to hear me, but not exactly hiding my sentiments either.

"Oooh, we're jumping straight to physical violence, I like it," Angela laughed before rolling her eyes as Jessica _finally_ sauntered out of the way. "Seriously, though Bella, what's up? I mean, Jessica's been Jessica for years, what brings out the hatred today? Not that she doesn't deserve it..."

I turned on the radio, quickly switching channels when Miley Cyrus' _Party in the USA_ started blaring through the speakers.

_So not in the mood for that._I stopped when I heard Anne Wilson cranking out _Barracuda_ and closed my eyes. _Appropriate,_ I thought to myself as I turned my head as we passed Jessica, glaring at her through the window. I may have flipped her off too...what? I always felt better when I could hide myself in music and use it to express what I was feeling instead of using words. It made me felt safe somehow, protected. Who knows why, it just worked. My iPod was like my security blanket, but less embarrassing. I had a playlist for just about every possible emotion...confusion being my most recent addition.

"Bella?" Angela's voice snapped me back to reality and I looked over at her as she tried to hide her amusement.

"Sorry. That girl gets on my last nerve. She just...gah! I mean, did you hear she asked Edward to Mike's party at lunch today in front of m...in front of Emmett? Now, granted, Emmett probably moved on three seconds after she asked, but seriously...is she just _that_ stupid? Really?"

I quickly recounted the events that occurred during lunch, adding a little color commentary here and there, trying to fill Angela in as much as possible.

"It is completely obvious that Edward has no interest in her whatsoever, but does she stop? No. Can't she take a hint? No. I mean, my god, does he need to have "leave me the fuck alone Jessica," tattooed across his forehead? She needs to take her wonky tits and bad dye job and go find another victim. And by wonky, I totally mean going in two different directions. It's like they can't make up their mind which way they want to go...could be a result of the fact that she has less than competent brain cells in her entire body. That can't be functional. Can she _not_ leave Edward alone? This has been going on for years. He's said something; I've said something, what's next? What is it going to take? I mean, Jesus fuck, the girl makes Britney look like a genius..."

"Spears?"

"Well her too, but I meant one of the Glee Cheerios -- you totally need to be watching that show by the way. Puck is totally hot..." I laughed as I started to fan myself. "But yeah, she's just dumb."

I looked over at Angela, surprised by the amused look on her face. "What?"

"You're jea-lous," she said in a sing-song voice. "You totally want him."

_Oh shit. Remember the three "D's"...you can do this._The opening notes of Sister Hazel's _All For You_ came through the speakers and it was like my prayers had been answered.

_Step 1 - Distract:_

"Hey Angela, did you know Sister Hazel fans are called 'Hazelnuts'? How cute is that. Yeah, they have a Facebook page and everything..."

"Its not working, Bella."

_Step 2 - Deflect:_"So, do you and Ben have any exciting plans for this summer?" I said waggling my eyebrows. Surely she'd bite at this one.

She just stared at me. Waiting. Blinking. Not backing down.

_Step 3 - Deny:_"No, I don't want him. You are crazy," I scoffed, hoping that she believed me. "I mean, yeah I want him as my best friend, but by no means do I want him... like want him. I don't want to kiss him or have sex with him or anything like that. Sure, I like him, but I don't _like him_ like him. That is what you were talking about right? Sex? If not, I am making a complete ass of myself. So no, I don't want him. Nope. Nuh-uh"

More blinking.

She pulled her car into my driveway and we sat there, neither one of us saying anything. She had latched on to this like a pit bull and wasn't backing down. So I caved.

"Fine. I give up. Yes, I'm interested. I think I may actually love him a little. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's my fucking lobster, but this is so not the time for this… for us to happen." I opened the door to her car, grabbed my backpack out of the back seat and closed the door a little too hard before walking to my front door. I grabbed two bottled waters from the refrigerator, handing Angela one, relieved to see that the look on her face had changed from smugness to one of concern. She followed me up the stairs to my room, where I handed her the envelope from the UW Travel Abroad program.

"...and this is why."

She looked at the return address on the front of the package of information and then back at me.

"You got in." she stated quietly, taking out the pages and starting to look them over. "I thought they said the program was full."

"It was. Somebody dropped out and apparently I was the first-runner up. The consolation prize if you will. Yeah, me," I said sarcastically, but Angela looked at me, clearly not amused.

"When did you find out about it? What do your parents think?" she questioned excitedly.

"The letter got here Saturday afternoon. Renee signed for it, but I didn't find out about it until later that evening." Angela looked at me questioningly, but before she could actually get the words out, I answered, "Edward was over here helping me with my Valedictory speech. I was already stressed out enough. Mom didn't want to make it worse I guess."

She nodded and continued to read through the information. I needed her to help me with this. I walked over to my bed and sat down. I leaned back against the headboard and grabbed one of the pillows, clutching it to my chest and continued, "Mom and Dad are really excited for me. They remember how much I wanted this before and how upset I was when I found out I didn't get in. How devastated I was when I had to call Newton's and tell them that, yes, I would in fact still be working there for the summer."

"What does Edward think?" Angela asked, sitting in the chair by my desk. I let out a small sigh and pinched the bridge of my nose, which was a trait I had gotten from Edward. Damn, I clearly spent too much time with that boy.

"Edward doesn't think anything about it because I haven't told him yet," I admitted ruefully as Angela's eyes grew wide in concern. She knew it wasn't a good idea that I keep this from him, but I didn't want to hurt him if I ended up not going.

"Don't you think you need to tell him, Bella?" Angela asked. "I mean, I know he had some pretty big plans for this summer. He was asking Ben questions about camping and…" I held up my hand to silence her because I had to stop her there. I couldn't let what he was planning affect my decision. It was already hard enough knowing just the little bit that I did.

"They're leaving the decision to me. I need to let them know my answer by Friday."

"What do you mean they're leaving the decision up to you? What decision is there to make, Bella? You _have_ to go. You'll hate yourself if you don't. Don't get me wrong, selfishly I want you here this summer, but if it were me, my ass would already be packed and on my way to the airport. What's the problem? If you say Edward, I swear I'll go semi-Betty Friedan on you." I stared at her as she continued to rant. _The same girl who's had the same boyfriend since we were 11 is threatening me with feminist logic? Really?_

"Bella, you have to go. It's London. It's more than London. You've been talking about this since we were fourteen and you were researching what colleges to attend. Make all that over-achieving matter, Bella. Edward will be here when you get back -- and if I have to, I'll keep him out of trouble while you're gone. Though I'm still completely convinced you two are meant to be together. Staying in Forks this summer is not an option. It's not. I never thought I'd have to knock sense into you, but I'm not afraid to try." With that, I started laughing, and I laughed until I had tears streaming out of my eyes. I loved Angela. She knew exactly what I needed; a good, swift kick in the ass.

With Angela sitting at my side, encouraging me the entire time, I called the program director at UW and informed him of my decision to accept the open spot in the European Summer Abroad program. Even as I hung up the phone and Angela pulled me into a big hug, I felt stressed. How the hell was I supposed to tell Edward? How was I supposed to spend an entire summer without him, when in the past we'd barely gone five days apart? I knew this was the right decision for me, but I wasn't sure he would feel the same way.

However, there was no backing out now.


	3. Revelations

**A/N: Now that the ff fail seems to be over, we are excited to give you the next chapter of ABM. On a completely separate note, our girl beegurl13 (who introduced CPW & Risbee several months ago) recently won the 'Broken Fairytales' contest with her first story ever. Check out her profile here on fan fiction dot net to read her excellent entry that was beta'd by yours truly CPW.**

**Thanks to MaggieMay14 for being such a fuckawesome beta. She rocks our world!**

**We don't own Twilight… we do spend way too much time chatting, texting and distracting each other.**

**EPOV **

When I woke up on Friday morning my nose was assaulted by the delicious scent of waffles coming from the kitchen. I sniffed the air for a moment before letting out a contented sigh; they were blueberry. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and took the stairs two at a time in a mad rush to get to my mother's famous waffles.

"Alice, just sit still and eat your breakfast," my mother chided my little sister, who was now standing on the kitchen chair trying to do a pirouette. I stole a piece of waffle from her plate before grabbing her by the waist and making her sit down.

"Do you seriously want to spend your last few weeks with your big brother, sitting in a hospital room in traction?

"What's traction?" asked Alice curiously as she fiddled with her fork before stabbing a piece of waffle and eating it enthusiastically. My father walked in a moment later, his eye brow quirked as he began to explain to Alice all about traction, and about how I was right in telling her not to stand on a chair in the middle of the kitchen. "Edward stole my waffle."

"I stole a piece of your waffle, not all of it," I corrected her as I looked expectantly at my mother who flipped open the waffle maker to reveal a perfect looking blueberry waffle. I almost began salivating. She slipped it onto a plate for me and I headed towards the table, desperate to smother it in butter and real maple syrup. When I bit into my first bite, I was literally in heaven. Bella would be pissed she missed out on this.

"So, are you excited son?" asked my father as I looked at him with a bit of confusion. "You graduate high school today or did you forget?"

"Of course I didn't forget, I've just had a lot on my mind," I said genuinely as my father nodded his head slightly at me, as though he knew what was going on.

"Edward's been thinking about Bellllaaaaaa," sang Alice annoyingly as I tossed a small piece of waffle at her. Unfortunately for me, she was surprisingly fast and dodged out of the way, the waffle hitting my father squarely on the chest, effectively ruining his golf shirt he was wearing. "Sorry Daddy."

"Can one of you please act your age, preferably you Edward," exclaimed my father, as he sounded rather exasperated at the situation. My mother tried to rub the syrup from his shirt with a wet washcloth, to no avail. "So, what is this that Alice says about Bella? She must be excited to be giving such an important speech today."

"She's freaked out actually," I admitted, my heart clenching slightly because I was worried about how she was doing this morning. She had probably been up for hours, pacing in her bedroom as the stain on the hardwood faded away from her feet sliding against it. She already knew the speech like the back of her hand, but no matter how much I reassured her, she was anxious. "She'll do just fine; I know she will, but try telling her that."

My mother laughed from the kitchen as she finished another waffle and handed it to my father. "She's an anxious thing, just like Renee." Calling Bella's mother anxious was a bit of an understatement. She was high strung and very excitable and I loved her almost as much as my own mother, but every night I thanked god she lived several blocks away. I also thanked god that she had to good sense to have Bella.

As I tossed the last bite of breakfast into my mouth with a decidedly happy groan of contentment, I grabbed my cell phone from the counter and began to type out a message to Bella, hoping to ease her nervous mind.

_Have a big breakfast; ignore your mother and wear something pretty. You'll do great ~E_

I climbed the stairs, after thanking my mother for a wonderful breakfast and trudged into my room. The only reason I was even looking forward to this redundant ceremony was because I wanted to see Bella. I glanced down at my watch and realized that it had been a whole thirteen hours and eleven minutes since I had seen her last and I was getting a bit anxious. God, I had it bad. So bad in fact, that I almost jumped up and danced like Alice when my cell phone buzzed signaling that I had a message.

_I made my dad bring breakfast into my bedroom. Renee is calling everyone we know to tell them about grad today and I am wearing a dress. Happy now? ~B_

_Very. How short is the dress? ~E_

_Shut up. See you in two hours ~B_

_I wouldn't miss it for the world ~E_

I then tossed my cell phone down on my bed and stripped down to have a quick shower before getting changed into my dress shirt and slacks. My mother had picked it all out for me, but she assured me it would be fine. I had been worried I would be too dressed up, until Emmett reassured me a few days ago that he would also be wearing a pair of dress pants, a button down shirt and a tie. It would be the first time I would see Emmett in a tie, and I would have to force myself not to laugh for fear that he would beat the shit out of me. I should also get my father to take a 'casual' picture of him, so we could make fun of him down the road. I had a feeling that the only way I was seeing Emmett in a tie in the future was if someone died or he got married.

It was just after eleven in the morning, when we piled into the family Volvo and we headed on down to the school where the graduation ceremony was being held. It felt so odd to me to be heading to the school on a weekday and not be attending class, but school had been over for a few days now, this was simply a formality.

Shortly after I stepped from the car I saw Bella standing near the chairs that were setup for the ceremony. She was talking to the principal with her parents flanking her sides but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Bella looked simply gorgeous in a black dress with a rounded neckline and a big bow on it. Classic and gorgeous, as per usual, I thought to myself with a smile.

"You should go over and talk to her," whispered my mother as she caught me staring open-mouthed at Bella. "I'm sure she would like some support before her big speech." I nodded my head and was about to walk forward when Mrs. Cope strolled over and announced to everyone that they had to get into the gymnasium to get their caps and gowns. "There's plenty of time before the ceremony, you can still speak to her Edward."

Esme gave me a gentle hug and I made my way into the gym, where I found Emmett calling my name loudly from the other side of the room. He was literally bouncing with excitement and I had to stifle a laugh as I saw his tie bouncing along with him. Was that a Scooby Doo tie? Once we both had our gowns on and had finished talking to several of our classmates, we were guided out to the front lawn of the school where everything was set up. I was pissed because I didn't have a chance to talk to Bella before the ceremony, so I grabbed my cell phone and sent her a quick message.

_Break a Leg. You'll do great ~E_

When I shut down my phone, I sat back and waited patiently for Bella to give her speech. Unfortunately for me, we had to sit through half an hour of lame ass speeches and presentations by staff members before Bella took the stage, my chest feeling lighter as I watched her step up to the podium.

"Just do it already," pressured Emmett as I turned back and glared at him for interrupting me as I watched Bella give her valedictorian speech from the makeshift stage before us.

"I'm not saying anything to her. I have a plan," I said to Emmett as he groaned from his seat in behind me. Emmett had been my best guy friend since grade school, and even though I loved him like a brother, he didn't exactly have the best romantic history. In fact, he was probably the last person I would take advice from.

"You've claimed to have had a plan for the past five months when you came to the realization that you liked her Edward," added Emmett as I grabbed his head and turned him back towards the stage. As I turned back to pay attention I noticed Alice, who was currently dancing across the school grounds like a ballerina. Her complete lack of decorum at my graduation reminded me to keep insisting to my parents that she needed to be checked for Attention Deficit Disorder. In the past they had simply laughed off my claims, but today was a prime example of her random behavior. They also didn't believe me when I tried to tell them that I found her playing doctor with one of the neighborhood boys in the tree house out back.

"I'll get to it. She's been my best friend for my entire life. You just can't rush major changes like this," I explained to Emmett, but also to myself as I tried to remind myself of my goal; to be with Bella.

"So today, our last day of this long ride we've called high school, I want you to be aware that you are capable of more than you think. If you've ever smashed a bug on your arm, there is a murderous Richard III inside you. If you've ever caught your breath at the sight of someone dipping their toes into Lake Olympia in the late afternoon sun over Olympic National Park then you, too, have Romeo's fluttering heart. Listen to your heart."

The graduating class and all their guests broke out into loud claps as Bella finished her speech and everyone stood up cheering. I felt proud of her while I watched her creamy white cheeks grow pink as she blushed and her dark chocolate eyes scanned the crowd, narrowing in on me giving her the thumbs up. Most of all, I felt love.

She went back to her seat on the stage and Mrs. Cope began calling everyone to the stage alphabetically to claim their diploma. It was all for show as my parents clapped enthusiastically and took several pictures as I shook hands with the principal, relieved to finally have this part of my life over with.

Bella was one of the last students to receive her diploma and it seemed like forever before she finally descended the stairs and our Principal announced the end of our graduation ceremony after five more students received their diplomas. I stood from my seat in the crowd of students and as I stepped out of the aisle, I was immediately hugged by my mother, whose face was tear-stained, and she was drying her eyes with a small handkerchief. "You did so well up there Edward," she gushed as my father offered me a quick handshake and tiny Alice grabbed me by the waist, hugging fiercely.

"All I had to do was walk and grab a piece of paper; it was nothing special," I said casually as my mother mussed up my hair, and I groaned as I pulled away from her.

"I have photos to take Mom," I declared in frustration. I got extremely nervous as Bella and her family approached. Charlie and Renee looked almost as sad as my own mother at the fact that we had finally graduated high school.

"Speaking of photos, we need a good one of you and Bella for the mantle, so go stand beside her," instructed my mother with a smile as I followed her instructions to the letter. Bella and I were now standing beside each other beneath one of the over-sized maple trees in front of our high school. I awkwardly wrapped my arm around her shoulder and leaned in slightly, breathing in her scent which smelled so much like strawberries, I couldn't help but groan a bit.

"Are you alright? You seem nervous or something," asked Bella pointedly as we both turned to face our parents who each took a quick picture of us.

"I'm fine," I grumbled. "Eager to get out of this shirt and tie."

I noticed Emmett walking over to join us and began a silent prayer to God that he wouldn't say anything about my unrequited crush on her. He looked at me with a wink before heading straight to Bella, wrapping her in a huge bear hug.

"Awesome speech, Bella," announced Emmett but he looked at me. Bella thanked him genuinely as we continued to glare at each other. The tension was broken by my little sister who ran over and wrapped herself around him, excited to see her 'boyfriend', as she had been calling Emmett since she was four. I had my father take a few random photos of Emmett, his tie prominently displayed as I laughed cheerfully while watching them for a moment.

As they played together, I couldn't help but notice the silent conversation going on between Bella and her mother. My interest immediately piqued. "Tell them," Renee urged as Bella turned to look at me, her eyes filled with sadness. "If you don't tell them, I will, Isabella Marie."

I knew something major was about to go down if Renee was bringing out the big guns and calling Bella by her full name. That had only happened a handful of times since I had known her.

"I got accepted into the study abroad program this summer," she said quietly as my eyes grew wide. "I'll be leaving for London next Saturday morning."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I shouted out, completely forgetting the company I was in. My mother smacked me upside the head in frustration because of my loud cursing, and I turned back to look at Bella, who looked like she was going to cry because of my outburst.

**BPOV **

I stared at Edward. Stared and waited for him to start laughing and claim he was joking. Stared and waited for him to do anything to explain the words that had just spewed from his mouth, because surely he was joking. Right?

_What the hell had just happened?_

Over the past few days, I had spent a lot of time trying to predict what Edward's reaction would be when he learned I was going to London. I had conjured up scenarios to cover just about every reaction I felt was possible -- from elation to disappointment to even a mild case of envy. There was one particular dream sequence last night that involved the two of us running through a meadow in slow motion...and that's when I knew I had officially lost my mind. Still, I never pictured him as being anything but happy for me when it came down to it.

So needless to say, Edward's outburst of 'Are you fucking kidding me?' was not the type of reaction I had anticipated. At all! I felt the tears start to build up and I willed them away refusing to let him get to me.

No. Fuck that.

I was not going to let him ruin the moment, the day I had busted my ass over for the past four year. My speech kicked ass and today had been perfect up until this point. His childish behavior was not going to tarnish it. I had to bite back a laugh when his mother smacked him upside the head because I'm pretty sure if she hadn't done it, I would have. However, I would have smacked him harder.

"No. I'm not kidding. This is a great opportunity for me, and I couldn't very well turn them down, Edward. Someone else dropped out and I was offered their spot, so it was a last minute decision." I watched as he started rubbing the back of his neck and I knew then that he was really upset. It was one of his tells and he has several. He gets the hiccups when he's embarrassed. He rakes his fingers through his hair when he's tired. Oh, and he can't lie without blinking three times, though I haven't told him about that one yet. He has all sorts of cues and I know every single one of them. It's almost a perk of being the best friend, so I know that when goes for the neck before pinching the bridge of his nose its not good.

So what do I do? I bite my tongue and try and calm him down because I want him to be happy.

"It's only two months. I'll be back in time to go to UW in the fall."

_You won't even have time to miss me._

As that thought flew through my head, I turned away still determined not to let him get me upset. I knew we still had more pictures to get through and dinner tonight and then Mike Newton's party later still. Assuming he still wanted to go with me.

"So Bella, Renee tells me you have lots of different travel opportunities on the weekends. Where do you want to go first? Do you get to choose or do you have a set itinerary?" Esme started to pepper me with questions and I turned to her, desperate to get my mind on something other than her brooding son. We went back and forth for a few minutes, Esme asking questions, me answering, Renee interrupting with some random story about a summer the two of them spent in Europe in the mid-80s. _Good times I'm sure.._

I looked over and saw Charlie and Carlisle standing over to the side with amused looks on their faces. I'm glad they got along so well because they totally needed to join forces to survive Esme and Renee when they got going. Once the trip down memory lane started recounting nights that may or may not have been on board the Flock of Seagulls tour bus, I knew it was time for me to move on.

_Shudder._ There wasn't enough scholarship money in the world worth the risk of hearing Renee and Esme groupie stories. Gross.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Emmett dancing around Edward like, well, like Alice does when she keeping a secret. They were talking to each other, but more like irritated mumbling than anything else. Edward kept his eyes focused on me and I could almost feel the holes he seemed to be attempting to bore into my back. The intense look on his face would have been hot had I not known better. He was still angry. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the expression on Edward's face was getting angrier by the second. Time for me to step in...

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked through clenched teeth, not so gently grabbing Edwards' forearm, pulling him away from Emmett and off to the side. Once we were a safe distance away, I turned to him and let it all come out.

"Who the fuck pissed in your cornflakes, Cullen? Seriously, what the _hell_ is your problem? Do you have _any_ idea the amount of shit I've had to deal with over the past week trying to decide what to do? Do you?" All the anxiety I had tried to suppress came bubbling out. I was done.

I watched as the realization hit him. "You've known for a week, Bella? A WEEK?" he countered. His eyes grew darker and his breathing grew more labored. "You've kept this from me for a week? Who else knows? Am I the only one you didn't tell? You let me go on and on about all these plans that I had made knowing full well that you weren't going to be around. Nice. Real fucking nice, _Swan_" he emphasized through gritted teeth.

"No. You are _not_ going to make me the bad guy in this Edward. You're not. I haven't slept in days, I haven't eaten. My parents tiptoe around me like they're walking on eggshells because of my moods. Do you think this has been easy on me? This is something that I've wanted for years,Edward, _years._ Since I heard about the program and you know how much this means to me. I shouldn't have had to stress about this decision, but for whatever reason I did stress about it. The funny thing is, now… right at this very moment...I know I've made the right decision to go."

My fists were balled at my side and I was still angry, but oddly enough I felt relief at the fact that I finally knew how he felt about me. I was his best friend...and that was it. At least I knew that was all I would ever be though, and I didn't have to risk ruining our friendship to find it out. Hello clouds, meet silver lining. Besides, I had the trip of a lifetime to look forward too and time was absolutely on my side. I fully intended on taking the eight weeks apart to figure out what I want to do with my feelings towards him. There was a whole world out there waiting for me...did I really want to leave my heart in Forks, Washington?

_Maybe.._.

I looked up at Edward and waited for him to say something. He stood there with his hands shoved in his front pockets, rocking up and back on the balls of his feet.

_Huh, I've never seen that one before..._

"What Edward, nothing to say now? No more insight on how I'm ruining your summer by putting a wrinkle in your plans? If you absolutely have to know, I told Angela about it after school on Monday. But that was it...gee, yeah, I totally see how you might find my actions traitorous...oh wait, I think Charlie and Renee want to take me out to lunch today, is that ok or do I need to run that by you too?..." I trailed off trying to goad him into responding.

His response never came though. He rocked back and forth a few more times before reaching forward and brushing a strand of my hair that had fallen across my face back behind my ear. His fingers lingered and traced along my jaw before he slowly pulled his hand back and returned it to his pocket. He stopped rocking and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply before finally saying something.

"Yeah. Um, I've got to go," and with that, he turned around and walked off into the woods behind the school. I watched him walk away, hands still shoved in his pockets and his shoulders stiff. The irony of the situation was not lost on me; he left me alone because he was mad that I was leaving him. Fucker.

_Cue the tears._

I heard footsteps behind me and I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to regain a little perspective. It was my graduation day and _that _is what I intended to focus on, not the fighting. Not today. Edward would come around.

"He'll come around, Bella."

_Did I say that out loud?_

Emmett walked towards me, hands raised in an 'I surrender' position and I started to laugh. God bless him for knowing how to lighten a situation, he had a true gift. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rested his chin on the top of my head. We both watched the path that Edward had walked, though he was out of sight by this time.

"Give him a few minutes. He just needs to wrap his head around everything that has happened today. We fucking graduated from high school, he found out you were going to London, and you just ripped him a new one all within the span of an hour. He's had a big day." He held out his hand for me and I took it, trusting Emmett to not lead me astray. He knew Edward almost as well as I did, so if he said Edward would come around, I had to believe he would.

We walked back towards the 'adults', serenaded by the sound of Renee and Esme cackling about some memory they must have just relived and I did my best to hide my amusement at the somewhat nauseous looks on the faces of Carlisle and Charlie. Emmett followed my gaze and nudged me in the side, "Do I even want to know?"

"I think its best that we don't ask questions right now. That is my mother over there, though it seems like our roles are reversed more often than not." I shuddered as I remembered some of the things I'd had to deal with over the years. I mean, it was nothing bad, just different. Renee was an enigma and Esme was her perfect match. It reminded me of the way Edward and I were...though in a slightly less disturbing way. I sighed and Emmett pulled me close to him again, knowing what I needed.

"You two will be fine Bells. Trust me."

"I know, Em. I know."

After a few hundred photos, Renee expressed her determination to finish her Christmas cards early this year. I had to laugh because I knew that by early, she meant any day before December 25th. When the last flash went off, I was relieved to leave the grounds of Forks High School, forever.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, I felt my phone buzz indicating a new text message.

_Well that didn't take as long as I thought it would_

I heard Charlie grumble to himself in the front seat, something about that boy making a huge mistake. I grinned to myself and looked at my phone, fully expecting to see some sort of apology that wasn't an apology but yet was still completely Edward. Like Emmett said, he would come around.

Except that he didn't.

_Bella -- I'll pick you up at 7:30 so we can get ready for Mike's party. Ben's driving. No excuses. ~Ang_

How did she know already? Then I remembered that we lived in Forks and that there were no secrets.

I put off answering her text, giving Edward the rest of our drive back home to check in. After all, I was supposed to be going to Mike's party with him. I guess those plans changed too since I heard nothing from him.

After we got home, I walked up to my room and changed out of my cute little dress and changed into a new UW t-shirt and shorts, foregoing my usual choice of whatever I had managed to steal from Edward. I was pretty sure I had more of his t-shirts in my dresser than he did. I was feeling somewhat petulant and pissed off when I texted Angela with my decision.

_I'm in. ~B_

A little fun was exactly what I needed tonight. I was going to go and have a good time and if I happened to have a drink or several, well then so be it.

It was the easiest decision I made all week.

**A/N: The next chapter will feature the party at Newtons' house, which we never got into during the original one –shot and let's just say… madness ensues! Happy Holidays & Thanks for Reading.  
**


	4. Confessions

**A/N: We're back for Chapter 4 already. This is all new stuff from the original story, so enjoy the addition. We're looking forward to getting to the stuff that happens after Bella leaves for Europe, but be patient with us, there's still a few more chapters till we get there.**

**Thanks to our fabulous beta MaggieMay14 who makes our words and story make sense. Huge thanks to our twitter friends, you can find us as Risbee and coldplaywhore, respectively and to everyone who has followed us over from the Naughtyheels Anonymous 80's Music Contest. Let's get to the party at Newton's shall we?**

**We don't own Twilight, we are planning really boring New Years Eves with our families though.**

**BPOV **

The whole way home from graduation I stared at my phone willing it to beep, vibrate, meow, sprout wings and fly in circles around my head. S_omething_ to let me know that Edward was trying to get in touch with me. It did nothing.

So the first thing I did when we got home was to race to my room and check my email...still nothing.

I placed my diploma face down on my desk and sat down in my chair with an exaggerated yet highly effective huff. What a fucking nightmare of a day. It started out with such potential and finished with me in the absolute worst mood ever. Hello, whiplash. I mean, one minute I was on a complete high, making my kick-ass speech and realizing I was done with this place and the next minute, I was completely terrified knowing that I was truly leaving the only world I had ever known. Then to top it off, I concluded my tour of whirlwind emotions on the defensive as I tried to justify accepting one of the best opportunities to ever come my way.

Explain to me why I felt guilty about it again? Why was I so upset at how Edward reacted? After all, it was my decision to make and it wasn't like I needed his permission to go? I was upset because he was my best friend and has been forever and I wanted to be the one to kiss his boo-boos, not hurt him, and I _thought_ he felt the same way.

To be honest, I expected a little drama, really I did. In a small town like Forks, drama crept into every teeny tiny facet of life. Maybe it was the abundance of rain or the fact that people were so bored with their own existence that they latched on to any hint of excitement like a leech, but that was what happened. It didn't have to be scandal, it just had to be something new. That the waters would be stirred was inevitable, but I figured it would be something along the lines of Renee having too many mimosas after the ceremony, Emmett pulling the fire alarm or something equally asinine.

I did not expect Edward to just walk away and leave me standing there. Alone. While everybody else around us pretended not to notice.

Whatever. I was not going to let his completely selfish actions dictate my mood anymore. Standing up, I grabbed the cute and oh so flirty floral skirt and top I was going to wear tonight and shoved them far back in my closet, opting to instead wear some jean shorts and black and white striped tank top. I was not up to being girlie tonight and since I no longer had anybody I wanted to try and impress, I decided to channel my attitude into something a little more fun and possibly a little badass. I was a tough cookie and it would show through tonight at the party.

I took a long shower, letting the heat and pounding water pressure release some of the stress I'd built up in my shoulders only getting out when Charlie pounded on the door yelling something about water conservation, old hot water tanks and pending dinner reservations. I quickly towel dried my hair and threw on my clothes, wanting to catch my parents before they left to remind them that they promised to bring me some tiramisu and also to once again reassure them that I was _thrilled_ with the idea of them going to dinner without me. I even offered to pay, saying that they too had survived my trip through high school and it was my gift to them for a job well done. It was all just a masterful ruse because I really just needed a night to decompress.

Thankfully, they were pretty understanding about my need to spend the night with my friends and aside from the obligatory 'don't do anything stupid' speech from Charlie and the 'liquor before beer mantra' from Renee, they actually were cool about everything. After the week of tears, I think they were just as excited for me to be going out as I was to _be_ getting out. As soon as I heard their car back out of the driveway, I ran back to my room, turned on my iPod and cranked out Lily Allen's 'Fuck You', singing at the top of my lungs and dancing around my room. I'm sure I looked like an idiot, but honestly I could not have cared less. It was therapeutic and also the reason why I didn't hear Angela let herself in after she had knocked on the front door and gotten no response.

"Based on the music selection, I'm taking it that you didn't hear from..." I held up my hand and stopped her before she could go any further.

"Shut it. Don't even say his name, Angela. I'm going to have a good time tonight, so just don't even bring him up."

"Uh huh, and how many times have you checked your phone for texts and missed calls?"

"I turned it off once we got home. I'm completely serious Ang, I'm done worrying about his shitastic attitude. I've spent the past week trying to figure out how I would be able to leave Edward behind when he obviously had no problem leaving me. Silly, stupid me. But for real, I don't want to think about him anymore tonight. I want to have fun and try and recoup some of the days losses. I may even be nice to Jessica." Angela folded her arms across her chest and stood in my doorway, blocking me in. Then she started tapping her foot before she then raised her right eyebrow. "Okay, well maybe that's a little extreme, but I seriously do want to go and have fun. I don't want my memories of the day I graduated from high school to be sad. I want to go and relax and have a beer or two. Nothing crazy, nothing stupid...I just want to salvage the day."

"Sounds good to me Bella. I'm not going to start in on how you need to talk to him before you both drive everybody nuts with your UST. I'll wait until tomorrow. "

"What the fuck is UST? Why do you insist on talking in acronyms? Do you enjoy confusing me?" I asked exasperated.

"UST my dear is unresolved sexual tension, which you and Edward have in spades."

"The only UST between me and he who must not be named is that he is an Undeniably Stupid T...um T....Todger."

"Todger?"

"British word for penis. Appropriate, yes?"

Giggling, Angela nodded. "Nice nails by the way," she said with a smirk and picked up the bottle of black nail polish, looking at it for a second before putting it in her purse. "What?" she asked.

Shrugging, I looked down at my black fingernails, "Yeah, well Cotton Candy Pink was my other option but it didn't adequately reflect my mood and I had to work with what I had on hand. Besides, I don't think the Forks masses could handle me having a 'Fuck You' tattoo. Ya know, Angela, the closer my trip gets and the more it hits me that I'm really leaving, the more I think I'm ready to leave this place behind." I flung myself backwards on my bed and stretched, "I'm starting to feel stifled."

"So you're back on the tattoo kick again, Bella," Angela chuckled while simultaneously rolling her eyes at my dramatics. "Look out world, you're about to get your first taste of the Rebel Bell," she continued to laugh as I threw several pillows at her. Missing, of course.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't get one, though considering it took both me and Edw...me and 'He Who Shall Not Be Named' to hold you down while you got a flu shot last fall, I'm not sure you'd be able to go through with it. In fact, I think you should get one while you're in London as a reminder of the incredibly awesome time you're going to have over there. Besides, it's probably safer for you to do it there than here. Charlie would shut the place down first. I also think that you may want to rethink the message a little bit. Ya know, for when you have kids and all. It would be a little difficult to explain."

We both laughed, but I knew she was right. The message aside, Charlie was my biggest obstacle. It took three long months of begging for him to relent on me getting my ears pierced. When I came home after having it done with two Coke cans held up to my ears, I swear he got a little choked up. Of course, he would never admit it. He claimed it was because he was allergic to cats. We didn't have a cat.

I looked at my clock and noticed that almost an hour had passed since Angela arrived and Ben would be at her house by nine o'clock, so we needed to get moving if I was going to get there before Edward. I was insistent on arriving first so I could draw my line in the sand...and indulge in a little liquid courage. I grabbed my ID and my key, shoving both of them in pockets of my shorts, reached for my ipod and left my bad mood behind in my room. "Come on, Ang. I need a drink."

We hopped in her car and took off for her house where we were going to finish getting ready and wait for Ben to come pick us up. I was lost in my self-appointed DJ duties, still playing songs from my 'Angry Chick' playlist, so I was startled when I felt the car turn sharply into the Walgreens parking lot.

I looked quizzically at Angela as she pulled into the parking lot of store. "Be right back," was all she said as she dashed out of the car, leaving the engine running. Not two minutes later, she was back and tossed a small flat paper bag in my lap.

"Well, Im guessing this isn't Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill," I laughed, and then grimaced at the memory of the one and only time I had ever been drunk on cheap screw top, ahem, wine. The boys had decided that it was too pink for them to drink without the risk of ridicule, so Angela and I took it, drank it and then sang every song off the Footloose soundtrack. Loudly. We woke up huddled on the floor of her bedroom and swearing never to touch that vile stuff again.

Angela shuddered, obviously remembering the same glorious moment. "Just open the damn bag Bella. I bought you a graduation present."

I looked inside and grinned. _Temporary tattoos._

"B, I know you cant resist Velma. Nobody rocks bright orange knee socks like she can," Angela winked at me and I lunged towards her, throwing my arms around her and squealing like a four year old. Somehow she always knew what to say or do to get me out of my funk. I tore along the perforated lines until I had one perfect square separated from the rest. I rolled my eyes at the obvious symbolism before carefully placing Scooby and the rest of the gang back in the bag. Then I looked at Velma and her sassy pose and knew everything was going to be just fine.

_Tonight was going to be awesome._

We arrived at the Weber's house to find Ben already waiting for us, so we piled into his car and we were off. By the time we got to the street where the Newtons' lived, vehicles were already parked on both sides of the road and the air was charged with the taste of new found freedom. I scanned the lines of cars as we walked towards the dull roar and breathed a sigh of relief when I did not see Edward's Volvo anywhere on the tree lined road. That meant that if he wanted to apologize, he was going to have to come find me and for at least a little while I knew I wouldn't have to worry about running in to him.

Ben went off to get us our first beers and we watched as he greeted some of the guys from the baseball team with one of the half hug, half back slaps that is testosteronally acceptable. _Testosteronally, Bella, really? Is that even a word? _Meanwhile, Angela and I linked hands, much to the elation and obnoxious hoots of said sources of testosterone, who were clearly envisioning something a little more dirty, and walked over to find a place to stand, determined to look disinterested while taking in every little thing.

It was amusing and yet depressing at the same time; looking around and knowing most of the people I was watching would never leave this small town. I made a mental check list as I surveyed the room: _stay, go, stay, go, stay, stay, stay..._ My count stopped and my eyes narrowed as I got to Jessica and Lauren huddled on the sofa. Jessica caught my eye and smirked, keeping my attention focused on her collagen injected lips as she said the words 'Edward' and what looked like camping. Then she winked before continuing to flail and fling her hair and gesture around like she was having a fit. Huh, would you look at that...beer number one was gone.

I went to go get another beer and was stopped in my tracks by Mike. _Lovely. _

"Bella. Hey, so, um great speech today. I heard you're going to London for the Summer. Nice." I nodded and thanked him before I answered his questions and managed not to vomit when body shots were mentioned. He even promised me the 'good liquor', but I had to keep it a secret. Mike was like the harmless stray dog that you didn't want to feed, but yet couldn't help but sneak a treat to every so often, so I promised I'd come find him later when the crowd thinned. It was either that or pat his head and I was pretty sure I never wanted to touch him, so the second option was out.

After refilling my oh-so-stereotypical red Solo cup, I walked back over towards Angela and Ben to make sure they knew not to leave me. _God, I loved being the third wheel. _Angela was a lovey yet feisty drinker, and the last thing I wanted was to be subjected to riding home with her all over Ben...or me. It has happened before. When I got over to where they were standing, I noticed that Angela looked extremely pissed while Ben fumbled with his phone and tried to quickly erase a text message. I had to laugh at his absolute failed attempt of subtlety.

"What's going on guys? And by guys, I specifically mean you, Ben?" I asked, nodding my head towards the phone he still had in his hand.

"Oh, you know, just checking my messages...hey, look. There's Tyler..." And he was gone.

"Angela?"

"Trust me, B. You don't want to know. Unless you do actually care to know what the todger wanted." _Todger? Oh...right...UST_.

"Nope. Don't want to know." I turned to walk over to where a few more people had gathered and I thought I saw Emmett for a second. Then I stopped and turned around. "You know what, Angela, suddenly I'm very interested in what Edward had to say. Considering I haven't heard from him all day, this might explain alot. Or not."

"He sent Ben a text checking to see if you were here, and asked him not to let you have more that two beers." I laughed as I looked at the glass in my hand and realized I had finished my second beer. Funny how fast that disappeared.

"Well you can let Ben know that I'm not having anymore beer tonight, Angela. Nope. I'm done with beer." She looked at me quizzically, clearly not believing me. "Im moving on to liquor."

With that, I went to go pat Mike on the head.

EPOV

"Where's Bella?" I asked of Angela as I walked into the house, feeling like a complete asshole. She was standing off to the side of the packed living room, a red plastic cup in her hand and Ben's arm draped around her shoulder.

"Last time I saw her, I think she was discussing the pros and cons of body shots with Newton," she stated simply, before rolling her eyes. My stomach began doing flip flops because I knew Bella was mad at me, but I didn't think she was mad enough to do anything with Newton. Fuck, she could barely stand the idiot. "She's pretty pissed off at you ya know."

"Yeah, I know," I admitted reluctantly as I grabbed at the back of my neck in an effort to ease the tension in my body. My eyes were darting all over the crowded room, looking desperately for any sign of her trademark brown hair.

"All she wanted was for you to support her, and instead you fly off the handle and act like a jealous boyfriend," retorted Angela, clearly just as angry at me as Bella was. "It's probably a good thing…"

"What's a good thing?" I questioned, when I noticed Angela stopped her thought mid sentence. What the hell was she trying to say to me?

"I was going to say, that it's a good thing you two never started dating. Imagine how you would react if you were actually her boyfriend and she went away for two months," sighed Angela as I narrowed my eyes at her and let out a small groan.

"Ang, give the guy a break," added Ben, coming to my defense as I breathed a small sigh of relief. "It's not his fault the guy doesn't have the balls to ask out the girl he has clearly wanted forever."

"Thanks for the support," I said sarcastically to Ben as he patted me on the back as though he really was being supportive. It wasn't working though. "Why do you think I want Bella?"

"Dude… I have eyes. Everyone in this school knows you want her, but you clearly have her on some sort of pedestal and you refuse to take her off. She's not fragile ya know? You should take a chance before we're sitting here at our twenty year high school reunion and she's got three whiny ass kids with Mike Newton." I nodded a brief thanks to Ben and held back the urge to hurl at the image he presented me with. When I turned away from them, I saw Emmett come running down the stairs, spilling his beer along the floor with no regard to the Newton's carpeting.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me away from Ben and Angela, who honestly looked relieved not to have to deal with my emo ass all night. "Your girl is a wild one." My eyes grew wide at his comment and as he pulled me into the kitchen, I thought I was going to throw up for real this time. There was Bella, sitting on the kitchen counter in the tiniest pair of jean shorts I had ever seen in my life. When the hell did she buy those? I had never seen them in her closet before. If I had, they would have filled my jerk off fantasies for weeks. She was also wearing a very tight black and white striped tank top that showcased her tits to perfection.

Unfortunately for me, her clothing choice, or lack thereof, was the least of my worries.

The fact that Mike Newton was standing between Bella's spread legs, about to lick her chest was my main concern. "What the fuck is this?" I said loudly and rather angrily, surprising some of the other people in the kitchen. Emmett glared at me in disappointment, because Bella looked over at me with dark eyes, clearly pissed at me for interrupting, and she stopped.

"Why the fuck do you care?" she spat out at me as I withheld the urge to step towards her, wrap my arms around her and carry her out of the house till she came to her senses.

"Why do you have to be such a buzzkill Cullen? Bella here is just letting loose before she heads off to Europe, isn't that right baby?" said Newton as he looked back towards Bella, his hand moving creepily along her bare thigh before he reached up and threaded his fingers through her hair, as though he had the right to touch her. I felt a smug grin cross my face as Bella pushed his hand away from her, clearly not interested in him like he thought she was. "Like zoinks Bella… let me finish and you can go off with Cullen or whatever."

"I don't want to go anywhere with him," Bella sneered as she stared at me, giving me some sort of death glare. Unfortunately for her, there was no way I was leaving now. I could tell Bella was drunk as a skunk because she was twirling her hair around her finger, something she never did unless she had at least three drinks in her. She turned back to look at Mike, her eyes were brimming with both anger and sadness, which made my heart ache. "Are you going to finish what you started or do I have to find someone else who is willing?"

"I'm more than willing Bella. I've told you that for years," said Mike as I watched him put a small piece of paper against Bella's exposed collarbone and he began licking at the paper and subsequently her skin like a fucking bloodhound. As I watched the entire exchange, my fists were clenched at my side and I wanted desperately to beat the shit out of Mike for touching my girl. Then again, I twisted the knife in a little bit deeper with the realization that she wasn't actually mine.

"Ugh, that's more than enough," said Bella sounding more than a little disgusted as she pushed Mike away from her chest and reached for a towel to pat the paper down and clean up the drool he had left behind. From the looks of things, I would say that was the closest Newton had ever gotten to a girl before, which scared me.

"Like zoinks Bella, what was that for?" questioned Mike as I quirked my eye brow at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella peeling the paper away from her chest to reveal a tattoo of Velma from Scooby Doo. I had never known anyone who loved Velma as much as Bella did, and although I would usually find it endearing, right now it just grossed me out because Mike Newton help her put it there, not me.

"Are you quoting Scooby Doo?" I asked perplexed as he shook his head in the affirmative. Before I had a chance to hurl an insult at him, Bella hopped down from the counter and grabbed her beer cup before walking out the back door like she owned the place.

"Clearly you didn't know that I was helping Bella with her Velma tattoo that Angela gave her. Personally, I think she's more of a Daphne ya know? Good girl, whose a freak in the sack," he replied as I felt Emmett grab my shoulder and pull me away from Newton before something got out of hand. I looked up at my best friend who motioned towards the back door, and I immediately ran out, looking for Bella.

However, after fifteen minutes of searching high and low for her, I was beginning to give up. That was until I heard the strains of one of Bella's favorite songs coming from the living room, but it sounded like it was being mangled by a cat in heat.

_I can be so mean when I wanna be_  
_I am capable of really anything_  
_I can cut you into pieces_  
_But my heart is broken_  
_Da_ _da_ _da, da_ _da_

I ran into the house and found that Bella was now standing on the coffee table in the middle of the Newton's living room, belting out the song as though her life depended on it. I was relieved that Bella wouldn't have to face these people at school the next day, because she would no doubt be the talk of the entire school. Hell, she now had to face the town because of this; lord knows Jessica would spread this story like wildfire down at the local 'Sip and Gulp'.

I looked towards Bella, trying to show some sympathy towards her, but she was making it hard to understand where she was coming from. Sure, I was disappointed she was going away when I had spent so much time trying to plan out summer together, but there was so much more involved. I was in love with her, and now I had very little time to show her this. Did I really want to tell her how I felt, only to have her leave for Europe and therefore leaving me alone?

When I looked up at Bella again, she was practically staring right through me as she sang, or whatever the fuck she called it.

_Please don't leave me_  
_Please don't leave me_  
_I always say how I don't need you_  
_But it's always gonna come right back to this_  
_Please, don't leave me_

I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella, but I tried to ignore the hoots and hollers behind me, of some of our male classmates. They were apparently a little too keen that Bella was dancing on table singing like a madwoman. They were encouraging her so much, that I felt a pang of remorse because out of everyone, I should have been encouraging her, especially where Europe was concerned. Sure, I wanted her to stay behind because I wanted her to know I was in love with her, but there was other ways to do that.

"Take it off," I heard being screamed behind me as I pulled myself from my thought and found Bella grasping the hem of her tank top and slowly pulling it up to reveal her midriff.

Oh, for the love of god.

I practically sprinted towards the coffee table, eager to get to her before she did something stupid like show the entire senior class her tits. If anyone in this room was seeing them, it was going to be me.

Thankfully, I reached her in time and wrapped my hand around her waist, pulling her down onto my shoulder. I felt a bit like a barbarian as I walked with her outside like she was a sack of fucking potatoes, but there was no way I was letting her do something I was certain she would regret in the morning, even if she was mad at me right now.

The music in the house changed and 'I'm on a Boat' by the Lonely Island came on. "Jesus, you Neanderthal, put me down," stated Bella as she squirmed in my arms and I set her down on the ground in Newton's backyard so that I didn't drop her. Angela and Ben came running outside, but I reassured them with a quick hand gesture that I had things covered, and they both shrugged their shoulders and walked back into the house.

Unfortunately for me, Bella's evening on drinking had already affected her more than I realized because she suddenly fell to the ground and began laughing her ass off. She then leaned back on her hands and looked up at me with tears in her eyes as she broke into the song playing in the background.

_I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me _  
_Straight floating on a boat on the deep blue sea _  
_Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat _  
_You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat_

"Okay, you are cut off," I stated as I reached my hand down to help her up. Bella was clearly feeling a bit antagonistic because she slapped my hand away and attempted to get up from the lawn on her own. So, being the gentleman that I was, I waited… ten whole minutes until she was able to stand up on her own two feet again. "I'm taking you home. This is fucking ridiculous."

"Fuck you," Bella shouted at me angrily, causing a few of our classmates who were drinking in the backyard to turn around and look at us. I took a small step back from her, but she moved forward and began poking me in the chest defiantly. "Who are you to tell me what to do?"

"I'm your best friend Bella. I only have your best interests in mind, and right now… that involves getting you into your bed and some water into your system," I said genuinely, the concern clear in my voice. However, Bella simply scoffed at the fact that I was worried about her.

"My _best friend_ would be supportive of me going away to Europe. My _best friend_ wouldn't be acting like a complete jackass, and my _best friend_…" she never finished her rant, because the next thing I knew, Bella was puking into Mrs. Newton's prize winning hydrangeas' as I held her hair back, feeling even more like a prick. The moment Bella seemed like she was finished, I bent down and swept my arm under her leg, pulling her up into my arms and carrying her to the Volvo. I felt pretty fucking hideous about everything, but as I put her in the passenger seat of the car, I couldn't find it in myself to be upset over the fact that this party had sucked and I wasn't saying goodbye to any of my friends. The only thing I gave a shit about was the beautiful girl who was now passed out in my car.

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and sent Angela and Emmett a quick text saying I was taking drunken Bella home to sleep, because I knew they would both worry if we disappeared. Well, Angela would worry. Emmett on the other hand would spread a rumor that Bella and I had been fuck buddies for years and we were just now in a relationship. Oh, how I wish that was true.

I got in the car and reluctantly drove towards Bella's house. I really didn't want to encounter the chief or Renee tonight, so I hoped they were already fast asleep. I smiled at my little victory because when I pulled in front of their house, all the lights were off. I found Bella's keys in the pocket of her shorts and ran towards the house to open the door first. Then I came back and picked up her weary body and carried her into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom. When I laid her on the bed, I couldn't help the small smile that crept onto my face as I thought of all the times I had wanted her in this bed…her body writhing beneath mine, moaning out my name as I made love to her.

"Don't leave me," Bella muttered quietly as she rolled over onto her side and I pulled her shoes off and then looked at her lying there. Should I leave her in her clothes? As much as I dreamt of undressing her, I wasn't going to be a complete pervert and do it while she was unconscious, so instead I pulled the quilt that was lying on the bottom of the bed over her tired looking body. I stepped down the hall, into the bathroom, and got her a glass of water and some Advil for when she woke up.

Then I bent down beside her and brushed some of the hair from her face with the tips of my fingers, reveling in the feel of her skin beneath mine. "So beautiful," I stated quietly, so as I didn't wake her up. I sat there for what seemed like ages, just watching her sleep, as I began to formulate a plan in my mind. We had a week. A lot of things could happen in a week and I was bound and determined to grow a set and show Bella how I felt. If she rejected me, at least I had two months to get over it since she will be in Europe and thousands of miles away from me.

A little while later, I glanced up at the clock and noticed it was already two in the morning. I stood up from the floor and decided it was probably for the best if I wasn't there in the morning when the Chief and Renee woke up, so I kissed Bella's temple sweetly as I headed towards the door.

"I love you," she said sleepily as I watched her roll over again and begin snuggling with her pillow. "Don't leave me Edward."

Wow, I was not expecting that at all. I looked down at her once more to make sure she was still sleeping before I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees, resting my head in my hands. Did she mean what she said? Did Bella actually love me or was this like a friendship love that I knew she felt, as opposed to the romantic love that I was certain I felt for her.

The mattress moved slightly as she rolled over onto her other side and began cuddling her pillow close to her chest. God, how I wanted to be that pillow right now. I heard my name fall from her sweet lips one more time and began to wonder if she was just saying this stuff because she was still mad at me because of my reaction to her going to Europe.

"She wouldn't have said she loved me if she was still mad," I mumbled quietly to myself as I looked down at her once more, my heart aching at how beautiful she was. I stood up with newfound determination to tell her how I felt, even if she didn't really return the feelings. Too bad I only had a week to do it.

**A/N: Happy New Year! Be Safe!**


	5. Healing

**A/N: Woo Hoo… we're back. We're finally getting into the seven days that Edward spends trying to woo Bella. Everything has been expanded and we provide more detail, so we hope you enjoy.**

**Huge thanks to our beta, MaggieMay14 who rocks our socks off and made coldplaywhore cookies for Christmas. We also offer up much love to our ff friends, who make this all worthwhile; this list would be too long if we named you all… you know who you are and how much you mean to us.**

**We don't own Twilight, just some crazy ideas and a friendship that seems to work for us, despite both of us being clinically insane. Onto the show… **  
**  
BPOV**

I was dying and the birds outside my window needed a muzzle. Wretched motherfucking feather-covered flying rats. I don't care if the bird feeder in the tree outside my window was the one I made for Mother's Day back in second grade. It was getting moved or destroyed. Today.

I lived in one of the rainiest places in the country, so of course it would stand to reason that the sun was shining on the one morning I really, really needed it to be cloudy.

_Oh my god how much did I drink last night? More importantly, what died in my mouth? _

Grimacing, I flipped over and pulled a pillow over my head, and that helped...for about the two seconds before the room started to move a little bit and my stomach decided to let me know that sudden movements were a completely horrible idea. Ok, so moving around was _not_ in my best interest this morning.

_Seriously, why did those birds have to chirp so fucking loud? Yeah, I hear you laughing at me, you wretched little shits. Just wait; you will get what is coming to you._

_  
_I thought about throwing something out the window to see if I could scare the foul feathered friends out of the tree, but even I knew that I would miss. Again. And then there was the fact that it would have required some effort on my part, so I decided to just close my eyes, lay really still and hope that I would eventually wake up feeling better. The sun was persistent though and I could still see the light through my eyelids. Even moving my arm across my face was too much. Yeah, it was going to be a long day.

There is no telling how long I laid there and suffered before somehow finding the strength to sit up. That's when I realized that I was still in my clothes from last night. _Huh. _ Then I realized that I don't remember actually _getting_ home last night. _Huh again._

I looked over at my bedside table and saw two Advil and a bottle of water waiting for me. Had I mentioned lately that I love Angela Weber? Because I do. I went to go open the water and found that the top had already been loosened.

_She totally gets a gold star..._

After taking the Advil, I nestled back in my pillows and waited to feel human again. I reached for my phone and sent Angela a text, figuring I should probably let her know I was still alive.

_I'm up. Sort of alive. Thanks for getting me home and leaving me the much needed meds. Muah. ~ B_

What I did not expect, was the response I got back from her not 30 seconds later.

_That wasn't me. Thank Edward instead, Pinkalicious. ~A_

I felt my heart plummet into my stomach as flashes of last night's debauchery came back to me in a fuzzy slide show: Beer. Jessica. Beer. Mike. Liquor. Velma. Edward. Table. Singing. Volvo.

_FML. Get over here. Now. Bring something greasy. ~B_

And orange Hi-C ~B

I got out of bed and changed out of my clothes into some pajamas I picked up off the floor. There was no way I was going to let mom and dad see me in what I was wearing last night because questions would abound and I wasn't ready to answer anything. They had to know last night was not going to be all balloons, punch and party games, but I wasn't about to offer up any information, intentionally or otherwise. It was an unspoken rule that unless you were hurt or in some sort of trouble, the Swan family had a strict 'don't ask, don't tell' policy and I wasn't about to break my end of the agreement.

"So you decided to join the land of the living this morning...well, yes, I guess it is still technically morning, barely. Interesting outfit," Renee half commented, half laughed when I walked into the kitchen.

I grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and some iced tea out of the fridge...I needed the syrupy goodness to coat my stomach as it continued to fight with the rest of my body. "Mhm," I replied not answering her directly, but instead I grinned and just rolled my eyes. "Angela's coming over. Will you just send her up when she gets here?"

"You just spent last night with her Bella. I thought you might want to start getting things together for your trip, and since I'm not working today..." I cut her off, but I had to do it the right way because I _did_ need her help, just_ not_ today. I had to put out a few fires first, apparently.

"I do...and that's why she's coming over. We're going to go through all my stuff and see what I need so I can put together an organized list of things I need and where we can get them so we don't waste time. Once I know what I'll need, you and I can spend some time together, but I don't want to spend all of it running errands." I gave her a quick hug, sighing because that crisis was thankfully averted, and then ran upstairs, stopping quickly to kiss Charlie on the top of the head. All I got from him was a grunt in response. As the Police Chief, I'm sure he knew what went down last night and was not impressed that his daughter partook in the activities.

I took the quickest shower ever, just enough to wash the stench of humiliation off my body and then brushed my teeth for a good ten minutes. Yes, I took that long. By the time I was washed and brushed and moisturized and dressed in clothes that didn't make my body hurt, Angela was waiting in my room, laughing at me.

"So, fill me in. Should I just go ahead and leave this morning or am I okay to stay for another week? At least tell me if I was funny. Please, _please_ don't tell me I cried. Shit. I cried, didn't I?" I sat down on the floor and hid my face in my knees and rocked from side to side. Fanfuckingtastic.

"Honestly, Bella. You were not that bad. Definitely entertaining... hysterical even. There were no tears, some serenading...maybe a few choice words for Edward. Oh, and you were on a boat."

"No," I declared emphatically as Angela simply nodded her head supportively.

"Yup, definitely on a boat, but it was fine after Edward took you home, really. By the time we're thirty, nobody will remember anything," she laughed as she passed a brown paper bag from the Forks Diner my way. The bottom was almost transparent from the grease. _Bless her little heart._

We spent the next few minutes piecing together the events from last night and by the time I was finished with my food Angela had talked me off the ledge enough that I had decided it was safe to stay in town until I left for London in a week.

"So, now that you've had a night to get over it, what was up with you and Edward yesterday? I mean, I know you were mad, but you didn't exactly tell me enough to sate my curiosity. Plus, after last night, you're going to have to talk to him. He kept you from doing something stupid...or doing someone stupid for that matter. You were all over Newton you know?"

_Ewwwww_

I actually threw up a little in my mouth at the thought of ever hooking with Newton, sober or otherwise, and I picked up my phone. Texting was definitely a stall tactic, but today it served as my technological olive branch.

_Edward ~_  
_Obviously last night means you're talking to me again. Too bad I don't remember much of what was said. Thanks for getting me home. Come over later? ~B_

I handed my phone over to Angela and once she looked satisfied and my message, I pressed send.

"Spill it Swan because I suspect he'll be over sooner rather than later," she said taking a big sip of her drink. I giggled, because while she may act like she was completely put together, it was obvious that I wasn't the only one feeling a little hairy this morning.

"Oh my god, Angela, I could have absolutely fucking killed him. I mean… what the hell? He knew… no… he _knows_ how much I wanted to study abroad, and he was so comforting when I got the initial rejection letter. Does he not remember talking to me on the phone all night because I was so depressed at the idea of having to work at Newton's again this summer?" I forced out as I stopped to take a breath.

_Oh God, Mike licked me last night! _ I pulled at the neckline of my shirt and looked down where I could see the faint remnants of Velma. Poor, poor Velma...the things you went through for my happiness...

"Remind me to take another shower when you leave, in Purell."

"Purell, gotcha. Now stop trying to distract me and finish your story. I get it. You were mad."

Mad. To say I was livid with Edward's reaction would be an understatement of epic proportions. "Does he not remember how he had to come over here and stay with me while I slept because I couldn't calm down enough? Then I get in the program and it's like he doesn't remember anything he said or how disappointed I was. Was he just talking out of his ass to get me to shut up? If that's the case, he had me totally fooled. I actually thought he cared about me. Fuck."

I stomped over to my closet and started pulling out things left and right, not really paying attention to what I was grabbing or where I was throwing it. I was so excited about this opportunity, and then Edward had to open his mouth with his 'are you fucking kidding me' bullshit. Where did he get off making me feel bad for this? He had some explaining to do when I finally saw him again.

"Bella, calm down." I heard Angela's muffled voice, and I looked over to see her hiding behind her arms which she had folded protectively over her head. Apparently, I had gotten a little aggressive and almost hit her with one of my bright pink Wellies. She took off one of her shoes and tried it on.

"Don't even _think_ about it. Oh and for the record, I want my nail polish back."

"You don't remember Edward tucking you into bed last night, yet you remember me 'borrowing' a 79 cent bottle of Wet N' Wild black nail polish. Sometimes Bella, I worry about you," laughed Angela as she pulled the boot off and looked at me curiously. I started to protest, but she continued, "Besides, I'm pretty sure Edward didn't mean it the way it sounded. He was probably just surprised. I mean he's got to figure out a way to spend eight weeks without you. That's a pretty big deal," she continued with a knowing look on her face, like I should just accept his outburst and be done with it. No way was that going to happen.

"Ang, he's my best friend. No doubt he always will be, but we're not joined at the hip. Besides, now he has the whole summer to scheme on girls without having to explain why I'm always around," I laughed back. Though honestly, I didn't think it was funny. He'd had girlfriends before, but usually I was able to deflect any of the undesirables—meaning Jessica and Lauren. The summer they grew boobs was absolute hell. Now he was going to be here without me to keep him out of trouble. _Fuck. _"And I know for a fact that Jessica has already decided to go after him...and was it just me or were her wonkies out of control last night?" I held my pointer fingers up to my chest and pointed them in two opposite directions.

Angela snorted, "You are so bad, B."

I shrugged and walked over to my dresser, still intent on going through my things and making a list of what to pack, but I was distracted by the pictures taped to my mirror. The glass could barely by seen behind the huge amount of photos. Edward and I showing off our lack of front teeth when we were 6; the two of us after the Varsity baseball team won the State Championship game; Edward, Alice and I last Christmas in matching pajamas—yes, Esme and Renee went there. I looked away when I realized that it was becoming harder to stay angry at him. He was so not being cool about this, and I just didn't get it. If he had the chance to go away for the summer, I'd be completely supportive, right?

"Bells, I just don't think you are seeing things clearly," said Angela, ever the voice of reason. Even with a hangover she was calm and collected, which helped when I flew off the handle a bit. "Edward was..."

"Edward was what?" chimed in a voice from the other side of my room. I turned and watched Edward unfold one leg then another as he came in through the second story window. A smile automatically started to form, but I quickly fought it since I was determined to still be mad at him.

"Speak of the devil..." I rolled my eyes, as I found I was angrier at the situation we were in than at Edward.

He looked around at the disaster area that was my room and carefully stepped his way through the carnage before picking my blue lace bra off of the lamp and trying to stuff it in his back pocket, smirking. I reached around him and grabbed it before my face broke out into a blush.

Wait, what? I blushed?

Get a grip, Bella. This was Edward. He's seen you naked, remember? Granted we were four, but still. I didn't get flustered around him. I didn't understand where this nervousness was coming from, but then again, my feelings for Edward have fluctuated quite a bit over the last few days. This was certainly a new one for me though.

"Um, Angela was just helping me pack. You know, helping me, like friends do when they're excited for another friend?" I said sarcastically as I continued frantically stuffing the bra back in my drawer, but not before making a mental note that he seemed to like it.

"Actually Bella, I need to get home. Mom and Dad have some meeting at church tonight, and I told them I'd be home before they left,"

Angela said not so subtly. As she walked past me, she whispered, "Talk to him. You two don't do angry very well."

What the hell was she talking about? Edward and I did everything well together. Cue the blushing...again.

"I'll call you later, Ang," I said as she walked down the stairs.

"Oh, I have no doubt that you will," she answered back, laughing and extremely lucky that she was already out of reach.

When I turned around, Edward was staring at me funny.

"You feel alright?" he asked. "You look hot...I mean...you look like you're hot," he stammered. What the fuck was up with us lately? It was like we weren't in sync or something. Usually we could complete each others' sentences without missing a beat, and recently we couldn't say two words without tripping over our tongues. Hmm, Edward's tongue.

"No. Wait, yeah, I'm fine, aside from feeling like I got run over by a truck. But it's all part of drinking, right? Now I'm just trying to start getting my things together. I've got so much to do before I leave on Saturday. I need to pack, exchange currency, get extra memory cards for my camera, pack and make copies of my passport and drivers license and print out my schedule and travel itinerary and pack and I hate it that you're mad at me and I hate it that I'm mad at you and we have to fix this before I go and..."

I threw my hands up in frustration, and my rant was cut off by Edward placing his hand over my mouth.

"Breathe Bella," he chuckled. "Come on, let's get out of here. It's clear that you need some fresh air and I've got the perfect idea to help you relax." He started to climb out the window, but I grabbed him by the arm.

"You can go down the stairs like a normal person, you know," I said as a small laugh escaped my lips.

"Yeah, but your parents don't know I'm here, and if I walked downstairs, they'd figure it out I came in through your window. I'm not willing to lose the secret access. You never know when it might come in handy," he winked before slipping out the window and climbing down the tree, making it look effortless. I held my breath and watched as he climbed only exhaling when he was safely on the ground. I walked downstairs, letting Renee and Charlie know I was going to meet Edward and that I'd be back before dinner. They didn't even look up. That was the way it was with us. We were a given. Though I'm not completely sure I didn't hear Renee whisper a little 'woo hoo'.

Edward was standing outside his Volvo, his fingers spinning his car keys aimlessly as he waited for me. "Where are we going?" I asked as he opened the passenger door for me, and I smirked at how polite he was being.

"Somewhere that will make you smile," he said cryptically as he closed the door behind me, and I watched him walk around the car and get in. He turned on the radio to the 80's station out of Port Angeles, and we drove through town wordlessly. Part of me even considered the fact that he was just driving to confuse the hell out of me, as if I needed any more help in that department. It really didn't matter where he was taking me though, because with every mile I could feel the tension between us melting away. I knew we would be fine, eventually, but I didn't want to settle for us being fine. I wanted us to be the way we were before...and yet part of me felt like that almost wasn't enough. Still I couldn't let the little bit of progress we'd made in the last few minutes fool us, we needed to discuss what happened yesterday and to get it out in the open before it got past the point of being fixable. There was no denying it; we needed to talk about it. Whatever it was.

When we finally pulled into the parking lot of our old elementary school, I looked at him with my mouth open wide. "Are we serving more detention?" I asked curiously. It was very well known in Forks that if Edward got detention, so did I, and this started back in the second grade because he simply could not stop talking. To this day he still did not know how to shut up. Then he started to intentionally get me in trouble so I was always in there with him. It continued on through high school to the point where the teachers just named us both when giving Edward detention, because he hated to be there alone.

"No, we're just going to relax and have fun," he said as he hopped out of the car and ran towards the playground where we spent so much time together as kids. During recess, before school and even after school if one of our mothers' was late, we would play together on the slides, the monkey bars and most importantly, the swings. It didn't skip my attention that Edward went right to the swings and sat down, pushing himself into the air as he waited for me to join him.

"Do you want me to give you a push?" Edward asked as I sat down on the swing next to him, and he used his feet to pull to a stop.

We both knew he wasn't just talking about the swings.

"Sure," I said casually. Edward had always been taller than me, and when we were younger, he would push me on the swing when my feet wouldn't touch the ground. I closed my eyes and let the wind go through my hair as I clutched onto the chain link of the swing and Edward pushed me higher.

For a few minutes neither of us said a word. The only sound came from the squeaking of the chains as I swung back and forth. I couldn't see his face, he couldn't see mine...it was the perfect time. I took a cleansing breath and went for it, the words spewing forth before I had a chance to second guess myself. I was notorious for it.

"You know, Edward, I wish I didn't have to leave so suddenly, but there is absolutely no way I can justify turning down this opportunity. Who knows if I will ever get a chance like this again? Think about it. Our lives are getting ready to change so much in the next few months and I need to do this for me so I don't end up some woman in her mid-30's with a laundry list of regrets," I explained as I closed my eyes, hoping against hope that he didn't misinterpret my desire to get out of here as desire to get away from him. If I could find a way to get him to come with me, I'd do whatever it took to make it happen. He didn't know how close I came to submitting an application for him when I applied the first time.

"I just don't understand why you're not happy for me," I admitted tentatively, and Edward grabbed onto the chains and stopped the swing. I was barely able to keep from catapulting off the swing. That would have been awesome. Yesterday he stopped talking to me; today he tried to kill me. I braced myself for his response.

"I never once said I wasn't happy for you, Bella."

_Wait? He honestly thought I would interpret his actions yesterday as meaning he was _happy_ for me? No way._

"Oh, really? You sure have a funny way of showing it." I was on a role. "I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurt me yesterday when you obviously weren't excited for me. Do I mean so little to you that you can't be happy for me?" I accused, ignoring the fact that he honestly seemed insulted. He let go and began pushing me again on the swing as I continued talking. "The shitty thing about it, Edward, is that when I think about leaving, what I'm most afraid of losing is you. My parents will be here when I get back, they have to stick with me until I'm eighteen; there's like a law or something and you know how Charlie feels about obeying the law. Our friends from high school, well, most of us are going in different directions anyway, but there's always Twitter and Facebook if I really get curious about somebody, though that's completely unlikely. But you… you have the whole world in front of you and nothing to keep you here for when I get back, and that fucking terrifies me. _You_ are the one person I'm scared to miss," I stopped the swing and swirled the tip of my shoe in the dirt, still afraid to look at him.

I had tried to inject some frivolity into my ramblings in case he decided to drop me like a hot potato, I was determined to try and maintain a little dignity. The second he started talking however, I knew that he could see right through me. Even standing behind me, he could read me like a book.

"Bella, I never meant to make you think I wasn't excited for you. That's not the case at all. I'm so happy for you—you can't even begin to comprehend what I'm feeling." He walked around to the front of my swing and put his finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to his. He grabbed the chains on either side of my head bracing himself around me and leaning down so that we were forehead to forehead. "I will be here when you get back, and we will go to UW together, just like we have always planned. You never have to worry about me leaving, I promise. What was the line from that movie again? Oh, yeah, 'you complete me'," he said with a laugh, before he walked back behind me and started pushing me on the swing again.

"You're such a dork," I laughed back, reveling in the fact that he promised to stay.

"Yeah, but I'm your dork, and you love me in spite of it," he quipped before turning to walk around the playground, my eyes following his every movement like it was the last time I would ever see it.

_Yeah, I think I do. Wait, what?_

**EPOV**

Bella drunk off her ass had been… eye opening to say the least. Her drunken and sleepily confessions of love had made everything clear to me and I spent the rest of my Friday night sitting on my bed in my room, trying to think of ways to convince Bella how I felt about her. I was in love with her, that I didn't doubt, but had her admission been real? Had she really admitted she was in love with me?

I tried not to let it worry me, instead focusing on the fact that she wasn't in love with me now, by the time she left for Europe, she would be. So I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down things I could do for and with Bella that would make her see just how much she meant to me. My main concern though was whether she would be sober enough in the morning to be able to do anything.

I was unable to sleep, tossing and turning aimlessly as I would often grab my notebook and write down something else that we could consider doing. I wanted to do things that would remind her of happier times together. Lord knows she wouldn't exactly remember our graduation fondly since I made a complete ass of myself, and yes I regretted it, but I couldn't exactly go back in time.

I was actually a bit surprised when I heard my cell phone vibrating against my night stand, and when I looked at it I found a message from her letting me know I could come over and see her. I practically ran to the shower, jerked off like a madman from habit more than need, and made my way over to her house.

I shouldn't have been surprised to find Angela in her room, but was pleased when she made a hasty retreat and Bella willingly came with me back to our elementary school, where I apologized for being an inconsiderate asshole. I was disappointed when all the plans I had made for us over the summer effectively fell through because she was going to live a dream she had since she was little, but I couldn't exactly tell her that after eighteen years I had realized she was my dream. She would most certainly think it was a lame attempt to get her to stay. I was over wanting her to stay, I knew she wouldn't. Bella was far too independent and fierce to even consider it, but I wanted to make sure she came home to me… as mine.

Not long after our time on the swings, I left Bella alone there, which frustrated her and went over to our second favorite activity when we were younger, the merry go round. I was more of a fan of it than Bella was because when we were younger, she had a bit of a weak stomach and always yelled at me for spinning her on it. So when she walked over and eyed it reluctantly, I knew I had to ease her mind.

"I won't spin it fast, I promise," I said genuinely as Bella relented and climbed on. We had grown so much since we were younger that Bella had to sit down in order to get comfortable, so I sat in front of her, our legs right beside each other as I eased us around slowly, pushing off the ground with my hand. "So what are you looking forward to doing in Europe?"

"Everything," she said as her eyes lit up in excitement, and I couldn't help but wish her eyes lit up like that because of me. "London will be epic. I want to see Big Ben, Parliament, and Buckingham Palace. The Thomas Mann archives in Zurich look like they will be interesting, so will Old Town and in Italy… I'm up for anything. I think I'm just looking forward to the experience and being somewhere on my own. It's not like I have that much independence here. Everyone knows me and my family and…"

"You can say it… and I'm here. The overprotective best friend right?" I said with a half smile as Bella shook her head and I pushed the ground again, easing us around slowly.

"I was going to say and it will be nice to be a no one. I won't be the police chief's daughter, or the valedictorian or anything like that. I'll just be Bella Swan from Forks, Washington. I've told you that I am not looking forward to leaving you Edward," Bella stated as she looked down at her hands, which were entwined together and she was fiddling nervously. Something else was clearly on her mind.

"What's wrong?"

"Why do you think something is wrong?"

"Cause I have eyes and I can clearly see that something is bothering you."

"It's fine… really."

"If you are lying to me, so help me god…"

"I'm not lying," she replied caustically. I backed off sensing that I had struck a nerve, but I knew she would tell me eventually anyways, she always did. "Do you think it's odd that we are virgins?" Wow, that was not what I was expecting. AT ALL.

"Ummm… no?" I said with a shrug of my shoulders as I looked at Bella curiously. She must have had something more to say if she brought the topic up at all. Yes, Bella and I were both virgins. I think she thinks that she was being picky, but I was just scaring most of the guys away. As for me, I recently realized that I had been waiting for her. Sure, I hadn't planned it, but I think my heart knew way before my brain that I wanted Bella. Why not wait for her? "Did you plan to do something about this?"

"No… I just figured we would probably be the only two virgins heading off to college in the fall," she said with a nervous laugh as I quirked my eye brow at her. Please god, if you like me at all, please tell me she is not considering losing it in Europe. "I'm not the kind of girl to do it just to get it over with or do it with someone I don't really care about. I'm not a fucking skank," she said as I broke out into laughter at her forceful comment. "Stop laughing at me. You are the only person I feel comfortable discussing this with. Even Angela and Ben did it after prom."

"Prom is so passé though Bella. The only people who do it on prom are characters from Beverly Hills 90210 and Angela," I said with a small laugh as Bella nodded her head slowly. "You are not a shitty television character or Angela, so don't worry about it. When it happens… it will happen." Of course I just wanted to blurt out, 'please let it happen with me', but I wasn't at that part of my plan yet. I had this thing all worked out and I was determined to see it through.

I was just about to ask another question about her trip in an effort to be the supportive friend with the sky proceeded to get dark with clouds, and a storm front moved in. "I guess we should be going huh?"

"Would you mind if we stopped by the diner?" Bella asked as I helped her up from the merry go round and we sprinted towards the car. I withheld the urge to wrap her fingers in mine as the sky opened up and it started pouring rain.

"You still hungry?" I questioned as I fumbled with my keys as I tried to unlock the doors, and we both continued to get soaked to the bone. When I finally got the door open, Bella wrenched it open and hopped in as I ran around to the other side. She was leaning across the seat and opening the old school door lock for me, her pale blue tank top clinging to her chest and making me hard instantly. I jumped into the driver's seat and slipped the key in the ignition, turning on the heat for a moment so that we could both warm up.

Without even thinking about it, I reached my hand up and moved a few strands of wet hair from across Bella's face, tucking them behind her ear casually as her head leaned into my hand. My heart soared at the prospect of her feeling for me even a little bit of what I felt for her and before I could stop myself, I was leaned forward in the seat and my lips were pressed against hers. It was gentle and tentative, and my dick reacted accordingly, practically throbbing in my pants because this was the closest I had ever been to Bella. When I pulled away, her eyes were wide in shock.

"Why did you do that?"

"I'm going to miss you, that's all," I lied as Bella shook her head for a moment, her wet hair gliding across her shoulders and I adjusted myself so I didn't spontaneously combust. Bella wet was going to haunt my fantasies for a while. "So… you wanted to go to the dinner huh? Feeling like an overpriced and greasy grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Well Angela brought me some hangover food this morning," she began to say as I detected a bit of sadness in her voice. "But there's only a week before I won't be eating anything like this. I will have to settle for fish and chips and it's oddly ironic that my father loves to fish but I hate to eat it. I just want memories from home to sustain me on my trip."

"Do I need to send you a burger by UPS?" I asked with a laugh as we finally pulled out of the parking lot and headed back towards the center of town where the diner was located. "I would you know. I would do anything you asked." I muttered the last part quietly and I wasn't sure if Bella heard me at all or not, but I didn't care.

"Please don't UPS me any burgers, it won't taste the same and box will probably be soggy with grease," Bella laughed lightheartedly as I smiled at her, happy to hear her laugh again after the drama of the past twenty four hours. "How about we go get our usual booth and just enjoy some fries and shakes, like we used to."

"Sounds perfect to me."

When we got to the diner, I wasn't surprised to see that it was filled with half of the people in town. Our usual booth was taken, so Bella and I took a table in the far corner and sat across from each other. We placed our order with Patty, one of the more popular waitresses, who congratulated us on graduating and then told Bella that she had heard about her going to Europe from Charlie and was excited for her. Of course the entire town would know by now, including Lauren and Jessica, who both walked in the diner a few seconds after Patty left our table. Talk about bad timing.

"Don't look now, but here comes Skanky and the Whore," Bella commented acerbically as I kept my eyes front and center, and on her. Of course, I couldn't help the fact that the girls noticed us and immediately came over, looking smug and bitchy.

"Fancy seeing you two here. We figured you would be off packing for your trip to Libya or wherever the hell you are going," stated Jessica snidely as I rolled my eyes at her horrible knowledge of geography. How in the fuck did she graduate Forks High?

"It's London," Bella replied shortly as she stared at the two girls, who just scoffed and turned their attention towards me. "You know… where the Queen lives. I'll also be going to Switzerland and Italy."

"Pizza comes from Italy," remarked Lauren, showing again how the educational system in Clallam County had failed them. Bella broke out into laughter and I tried to hide my disdain for both of the girls as Jess rested her hands on her hips and jutted her tits towards me, in a disastrous attempt at seduction.

"Anyways… since you are going to be around Forks this summer Edward," Jessica began to say, her voice sounding fake, "I figured we could hang out… maybe go to Port Angeles and see a movie. Now that the permanent third wheel won't be around of course." She glanced down at Bella, who simply scoffed and grew agitated at Jessica's comments.

"Just cause I will be out of the country for eight weeks doesn't mean Edward will become desperate for female companionship. If he wanted to date someone, he would have the good sense to find someone who hadn't been ridden more than that horrible Shriners float at the Forks Christmas Parade," retorted Bella angrily as I covered my mouth and began to laugh. The Shiners had used the same float since our parents had been in high school, so it was infinitely more hilarious to Bella and me than it was to Jessica or Lauren. Bella lifted her arm and gestured with her hand over her head to imply that Jessica didn't get the joke, which she didn't.

"As if you won't be trying to get some hot European ass while you are gone Bella. Go sew your wild oats… pop your cherry," snapped Jessica loudly, calling attention to the fact that Bella was still a virgin. I wanted to come to her defense and even possibly lie for her, but Bella was doing a fine job of taking care of herself all on her own.

"I think you have sewed enough oats for the whole town. Did you ever get your test results back by the way? Didn't James Thompson give you crabs?" Jessica looked absolutely mortified and the situation was thankfully diffused when Patty showed up at our table with our milkshakes. Chocolate for me, vanilla for Bella and halfway through, we always switched. "So I think Edward says no."

"Edward can speak for himself Bella."

"Yes, I can… but it's so much funnier to watch Bella tell you the same thing I would, minus the crabs thing. I would never mention that in public, well not to your face," I said with a smug grin as Jessica stormed from the table, dragging Lauren along with her. "Well that was interesting."

"Promise me you will stay away from both of them this summer," Bella said, sounding a little panicked as I reached my hand forward and took hers in mine, rubbing the back of her hand in a reassuring manner.

"No worries Bella. There is no way I would dare go out with either of them. You will probably find a way to kill me from Europe if I did," I said with a laugh as Bella looked at me, sadness in her eyes and a serious expression on her face. "I promise."


	6. Symbolism

**A/N: We are back yet again, with another exciting chapter of ABM. Big thanks to our fabulous beta MaggieMay14 who makes everything sound much better and drools over Rob as she reads our chapters.**

**MsKathy is organizing a charity to raise money for Haiti Earthquake Relief. Visit her at mskathy (dot) blogspot (dot) com to get more information. If you donate as little as $5 you will get an author compilation filled with some works dozens of awesome authors. CPW and Flightlessbird11 have offered their services jointly and will have an outtake from their collab 'Maybe I'm Falling For You'.**

**We don't own Twilight, but we both have husbands who are balding and shave their heads, thinking it masks it. Tee hee hee.**

**EPOV**

When Bella and I left the playground the day before, I just happened to steal her iPod from her pocket. It had been a difficult task at best, but when she stumbled getting out of the car, I stealthily managed to grab it from her and shove it in my own pocket rather quickly. When I got home, I ran upstairs and threw myself on my bed, searching through her song list to see what she had on there. Bella treated her iPod like it was the holy grail and it was hard for me on a good day to get her to let me play with it and search the songs for something decent. As I searched through it, I realized it was because she had nothing decent on it. A lot of eighties shit including Debbie Gibson, Skid Row and Roxette. Fuck, she had eclectic taste in music.

As expected, she called early the next morning and asked if she had dropped in the Volvo, and I assured her that I had it and would return it later in the day when I saw her, because we were certainly going to get together, I just wasn't sure what we would do. She put up a bit of a huff because she treated her iPod like an extra limb, but I mumbled some shit about being away from the house for the morning and unable to get it to her before then. I felt like an ass for deceiving her, but I would never be able to do what I wanted to do with her knowledge.

So now that I had Bella convinced to leave me alone for a bit, I found myself sitting in front of my Mac, desperately trying to add songs that both held meaning to Bella and me, but also reminded me of her. I Googled romantic songs and groaned as most of the shit was Celine Dion and Mariah Carey, neither of which were appealing at all. I texted Emmett, which I knew was a bad idea the moment he advised me that 'Me So Horny' by 2LiveCrew would be a good choice. Needless to say, I would have to remind myself to punch him in the stomach for that suggestion next time I saw him.

I visited a couple of blogs and websites that were specifically geared towards romantic songs, but I was getting nowhere fast. I wracked my brain as I leaned back in my desk chair and tried to think. The first concert we ever saw was John Mayer, and Bella always loved his song 'Love Soon', so I added that one first to the playlist I had decided to make her. I remembered that just the other day she said she liked the song 'Beloved One' by Ben Harper, so I searched for it on YouTube, deciding the lyrics were pretty damned perfect and added it as well.

I then remembered how much Bella loved 'Stolen' by Dashboard Confessional and 'Lucky' by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. Neither were favorites of mine, but that wasn't the point of the playlist. It was supposed to be romantic songs that reminded Bella of me and her. I was also hoping she would take a hint and realize how I felt about her without me having to come out and say it. Yes, I was chicken shit. I admit it, but I was nervous about every single second of this plan. What if she didn't want the same thing I did and I lost my best friend too? I was about six songs into the playlist when I got a text message from Bella, her impatience obvious in her words.

_When am I seeing you today? I feel naked without my iPod. - B_

Jesus, if she knew the things those simple words were doing to me right now, she would probably kick me in the family jewels, grab her iPod and run. I wanted to say something about her being naked, but I couldn't do it. She would probably send me some casual message back that I would interpret sexually and I would be running to the shower to jack off. As if I didn't do that enough these days!

_Wanna go get pizza for dinner? –E_

The mere mention of pizza reminded me of when we went out to a Pizza Hut one night while babysitting Alice. My parents had gone into Seattle overnight and hadn't trusted me enough to watch Alice on my own, so they enlisted the help of Bella. I had originally been frustrated that they didn't feel that they could trust me, but then I realized that it wouldn't be such a bad idea because it meant I had more time with Bella. When Alice went to bed, we stayed up and watched horror movies, and I might have caught a glimpse of her breasts. Okay, I definitely got a really good peek at them, but I would never admit that to her. She had been bending over the bed attempting to get something from the floor when I walked into the room holding two glasses of Pepsi for us. When Bella looked up at me, she looked just as shocked at her position and quickly grabbed the blanket from the floor before righting herself. That quick glimpse down her loose top had shown me the edge of her purple cotton bra, and had given me material for my fantasies for weeks.

All with just a peek.

At the time of the bra incident, 'After Tonight' by Justin Nozuka had been playing on VH1, so that song was forever ingrained in my mind. I added it on the playlist, smiling brightly and feeling myself get hard as I remembered the swell of her breasts and the cream color of her skin, and then I got another text from her.

_No can do. The 'rents are insisting on family bonding time or some shit. Just come over and join us. –B_

_What time? –E_

_Six – B_

_I'll be there –E_

_Don't forget the iPod –B_

_You don't love me, just the iPod. I see how it is now. –E_

_Damn straight – B_

I closed my phone and added a few more songs, including a few cheesy eighties tunes from our favorite movies and her favorite Roxette songs, which I noticed had been on her Top 25 Played Songs playlist, and then decided it was as good as it was going to get. If she couldn't tell how I felt about her by the song choices, then I was massively screwed.

When I got to her place for dinner, Charlie and Renee didn't seem surprised to see me, which was a relief. What did astonish me was the fact that they said I could head up the Bella's room to see her. I think Renee even winked at me, which to be honest, kind of creeped me out a bit. It was rare that they let Bella and me alone in her bedroom because Charlie just thought of me as a perverted teenage boy, even though he had known me from birth. I think the mere fact that I had a dick concerned him, though to my benefit, Renee had constantly reminded him that I was 'just Edward'. Of course, if he knew the impure thoughts I had about his daughter earlier this afternoon, he probably wouldn't have let me up those stairs.

I didn't knock, choosing to just walk in because I figured she would have heard me ring the doorbell a moment ago. When I stepped in the room, I found Bella pulling a t-shirt on, her breasts fully exposed to me. "Holy shit," I muttered as I put my hands over my eyes, sliding my fingers open casually so I could see her again. Fuck… she had better tits that I ever expected. They were a decent size, probably more than a handful and definitely more than I thought she had. Had she been wearing sports bras for as long as I had known her? If so, who the fuck do I have to kill because of that?

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Bella asked angrily as I backed away from her nervously, my hand tight against my face. "I'm dressed you can turn around."

"Why the fuck aren't you wearing a bra?" I asked incredulously. I mean, I was happy she wasn't wearing one, she had gorgeous fucking tits, but how the hell was I supposed to make it through a dinner with her parents with a massive hard on. Lord knows I couldn't just run to the bathroom and rub one out without it coming off as suspicious that I was missing.

"Did you bring it?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Bring what?" I asked stupidly, completely letting all coherent thought evaporate from my mind. I was still staring at her now covered chest when I felt her small hand hit me across the back of the head.

"The iPod, dipshit, did you bring the iPod?" I quickly mumbled a 'yes' and grabbed it from my pocket, tossing it towards her carelessly. I didn't even notice when her mother called us for dinner, and Bella had to grab my hand and pull me from her room. When we got to the middle of the stairs, she stopped abruptly. "You do realize if you can't stop looking at my tits through dinner, the Chief will shoot you in the baby maker right?" I nodded in acknowledgment and let her lead me to the dining room and what I fully expected to be the most awkward dinner of my entire life.

I sat down at the seat I knew was reserved for me and grabbed my napkin, quickly draping it over my lap and hoping to god that I didn't actually sprout a tent in my pants at the dining room table. "So Edward… what are your plans for the summer now that our Bells is heading off to Europe?" asked Charlie casually as Renee put his plate of spaghetti in front of him and he looked at it hungrily.

"Actually Sir, I'm going to get a job and keep myself pretty busy. I'm hoping the time will fly by," I said honestly as Charlie nodded his approval at me, apparently keen on the fact that I was now going to spend my summer employed, rather than causing havoc within the tiny town of Forks. "I think I have a good chance of getting a job with the town doing lawn maintenance and gardening. Mowing the parks and stuff like that. It's nothing exciting, but I would be outside all day and that would be good."

"Sounds admirable Edward," added Renee as she put my plate in front of me and I looked up at Bella who looked like she was day dreaming until her plate landed in front of her, calling her back to the present. "I'm glad you will be keeping busy."

"I thought you were going to go camping, head into Seattle, hang out and just enjoy your summer?" Bella questioned as she put her fork down and waited for me to respond. Apparently she wasn't as interested in dinner as the rest of us.

"That was when I thought you were staying in town, Bella. Sure, I might go camping one weekend with Ben and Emmett, but it won't be as much fun without you there. I mean, the days hanging out doing nothing would only be exciting if you were with me. Emmett would just annoy the hell out of me and I'm not certain he would make it to UW with us in the fall if that was the case," I said as Charlie laughed along with me, knowing just as well as I did that Emmett could be unbearable sometimes. "I just want to keep myself busy, so that it doesn't hurt as much when you are gone."

I heard Renee let out a small sigh, clearly touched by my comments to Bella, but it was Charlie who shocked me next with his comments. "Mrs. Stanley said at graduation that her daughter Jessica has a little thing for you. Anything happening there?"

"Charlie!" chided Renee as her eyes bugged out of her head and Bella began choking on the small piece of bread she shoved into her mouth.

"Um no, Sir. Jessica isn't the type of girl I like to associate with." Bella chuckled slightly at the insinuation I made about Jessica, knowing damn well that even if I was unconscious I would never willingly spend any sort of time with Jess. Thankfully with a few curious glances around the table, the conversation about Jessica stopped and we started talking about Bella's trip to Europe. Each new place she wanted to visit was like a dagger to my heart, but I did my best to keep up appearances until it was time for me to head home.

I thanked Renee and Charlie for their hospitality and Renee pulled me into a big hug before I left. "Just because Bella will be gone, doesn't mean you have to be a stranger Edward. You are like the son we always wanted," Renee whispered sweetly as I gave her a tight squeeze and Bella stood at the door, waiting with her parents as I headed home, feeling a little homesick as I pulled out of her driveway.

When I got home, I walked in and found my father in the living room putting a bunch of papers in his briefcase as my mother cleaned up from their dinner. "Miss me?" I questioned as I strolled in and my dad smiled at me eagerly.

"Perfect timing Edward," he laughed as I quirked my eye brow at him in confusion.

"For what?"

"I need to go into Seattle tomorrow and I was hoping you could drive me? Soon enough we won't be able to see each other every day, when you head off to University and become the big man on campus," my father asked, his expression serious although his words were laughable. I had wanted to surprise Bella with an impromptu day of camping in our meadow and this would certainly throw a kink in my plans.

"I am doing something with Bella tomorrow."

"You have been doing something with Bella every day since you could talk."

"Not true… you and mom dragged me to Disneyland without her once. I went seven days without seeing her, if you recall," I said with a chuckle as my mother joined in, but then shrugged her shoulders at my glare because she wasn't aware what my father needed me for either.

"Yeah, we remember. You were an insufferable ass for seven days. Why do you think we never went on another vacation without the Swans?"

"I just thought that was because you loved me."

"How the hell are you going to survive eight weeks without her?"

"I have no idea."

"So you will do it? You are the only person I trust to help me out Edward," my father pleaded, both with his words and his eyes.

"Fine, but we better be leaving early because I have things to do," I said as I let out a reluctant sigh before grabbing a soda and heading up stairs. I fished my cell phone from my pocket and typed out a quick message to Bella to let her know I was going to be heading to Seattle with Carlisle tomorrow. Her response just made me laugh.

_What the hell did you do to my iPod??? -B_

**BPOV**

I had never been in more of a panic or felt more exposed than when I realized that Edward had my iPod last night, which was ironic considering that when he finally decided to return it, he walked in on me half dressed. Of course, I hardly found it amusing at the time since I was more concerned with covering the girls than I was at having a good laugh, but as the night wore on and I remembered the expression on Edwards' face, I realized that what I was feeling had evolved into something else and wasn't embarrassment at all. Feeling his eyes on me during that millisecond was different tonight. I mean, he looked at me all the time, but during that instant his eyes somehow managed to caress me in a way that sent shivers coursing through my body even hours later. It was sexy and enticing and ... titillating. Ok, I may have giggled a little at that word.

_O__h my god, I'm turning into an eleven year old boy__._

The silliness quickly turned into something else though as I replayed the expression that flashed across his face over and over and over in my mind. Edward's darkening eyes, the way his hair was so damn wrong and yet worked, the way his biceps flexed as he quickly pretended to cover his eyes, the way his lips outlined his mouth as his jaw opened and closed, trying to form whatever pathetic excuse he managed to blurt out. His lips.

_Oh shit. His lips. My __playlists__. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I quickly sat up cross-legged on my bed and reached for my iPod, cringing as I turned it on, worried about what he might have seen or what he might have figured out. Most of my lists were harmless enough, but I couldn't risk Edward knowing the truth about my most recent creation, the one I've listened to constantly for the last couple of weeks. The one that was still growing, since I was determined to add enough songs where it would last the length of my trans-Atlantic flight. I scanned the list with my eyes half shut, not wanting to see and yet needing to at the same time...what if he deleted it? I crossed my fingers and held my breath while I checked off every category as I found it one by one.

Happy songs..."Sunshine". Still there.

Angry songs..."Mercury". Still there.

Awesome covers..."Gemini". Still there.

I held my breath as I reached the end of the list, and as I cautiously peeked and looked for the last one...I exhaled and grinned. My list of songs about Edward was still here. He didn't know. "Eclips" was safe.

However, there was a new one...Aurora Borealis. That one wasn't mine. As I scrolled through the list of songs, I couldn't for the life of me figure out the rhyme or reason behind his selections. He actually added Jason Mraz? Willingly? Was he high? Oh, I couldn't just let that one go, not after all the grief he had given me for listening to him. So I didn't.

_What the hell did you do to my iPod??? ~B_

I switched my phone over to vibrate since it was already pretty late and just as I hoped, my phone buzzed with a new phone call not thirty seconds later.

"Do you not like it?" Edward blurted out, sounding oddly nervous for whatever reason.

"I'm listening to it now actually, I'm just amazed that the self-proclaimed music elitist actually went slumming and ventured into my 80's library. Do you have any battle scars? Are you wearing sequins? Is that why your hair was so big tonight?" I braced myself for impact. If there was one thing that Edward was sensitive about, it was his hair.

"My hair is _not_ big. If you want to see big, I can show..."

"Stop!" I giggled and reveled in the sound of him laughing on the other end of the connection.

"Let me guess, you talked to Emmett after you left here...because that conversation was quickly reverting into something more on his level. Is he there with you?"

"No, he's not here. I'm all by myself and bored out of my mind." Thoughts of Edward in his room started to distract me and it wasn't until I heard Edward talk about asking Jessica out that I realized that I had been busted for not paying attention.

"Sorry...I'm just so overwhelmed by the concept of you risking it all for my happiness that I had to take a moment to regroup. Though I promise you, if you ask Jessica out, it will kill me and I won't hesitate to haunt your ass for the rest of your life."

"I won't lie. It was touch and go there for a few songs, but you were worth the risk. I was honestly afraid that my musical prowess might evoke such a strong emotion from you, that I felt like I had to include a few of the lessers to keep you from going into shock. You really could stand for some new songs B. Three of your top twenty five most listened to songs are Roxette."

"Tread lightly Mr. Cullen," I warned. He knew better than to mess with Rox.

"I'm not saying they're bad songs...just that maybe you'd enjoy it if you were in the same decade as the rest of us? The next time you're over here, I'll let you look at my library. Though it might be too much for you to handle." I swear I could hear him smirking on the other end and I may have choked on my drink at that point.

"All kidding aside Bella, I've actually developed an affinity for your quirky taste, though some of the songs on your Mercury list scare the fuck out of me."

_Shit._ He went through my lists.

"Well then I guess you better hope you never make me mad and give me a reason to listen to that particular list."

"Would you be mad if I told you you misspelled Eclipse." Even though I knew exactly what he had seen, I still scrolled through my list and found what he thought he knew. But he was wrong. Eclips. E for Edward. C for Cullen. Lips because I wanted them. So while eclipse was, indeed, lacking an e, my playlist was exactly right, because I was fucking brilliant.

And now it was time to change the subject. "Do you really want to correct me, Edward? Do we need to compare GPAs?"

"How is that any different than me talking about the size of my..."

"Seriously, Edward. Stop"

"I was going to say library, Bella. Dirty girl."

"Ugh. You are so frustrating."

"You're right Bella. I'm sorry. Really." he apologized. "Never doubt that I think you're anything less than amazing." What in the world? Was he joking?

I joked back. "Um, where is my Edward and what did you do with him?"

"Your Edward is right here, where he always has been, and where he'll always be. Except for tomorrow when his father drags him to Seattle for the day." I could hear the frustration in his voice as he explained where he was going, why, that he didn't want to go and that he'd much rather spend the day with me like we had planned. He really sounded disappointed, but he sounded somewhat reassured since I explained that I would spend time with Angela and my mom and that he was not, in fact, letting me down. Apparently somebody took an emo pill before climbing into bed.

Finally, he seemed to relax and we slid back into our normal banter and witty rapport. We laughed and joked and whispered when we thought we might have been a bit too loud. We talked for hours and hours until the battery on my phone beeped out a warning and I knew we had to say goodnight.

"Good night Edward," I whispered after the ninth or tenth creak I heard outside my bedroom door. Charlie's not so subtle hint that it was time to get off the phone.

"Goodnight Bella" he answered.

"I'll miss you tomorrow" I said, meaning more than just tomorrow, but not willing to broach that subject tonight. He knew it anyway.

"I'll miss you too."

We both hung up at the same time and I went to sleep with a smile on my face and my new playlist on repeat.

~*~*~

I woke up obscenely early Tuesday morning with the sun beaming down on my face. You'd think after living in Forks for my entire life, I'd remember to close the blinds before I went to bed, but then again, this was Forks. Sun was rarely an issue.

_Except for the past three days_, I groaned to myself.

If I hurried, I knew I could catch Charlie before he left for the day. He was not much of a breakfast eater, but I could at least make him some coffee to go and maybe toast a bagel for him to take and eat later. At the very least, I'd hand him a banana as he walked out the door. Something. After the marathon phone call last night, I didn't want to seem like I was tired. I stood up and stretched, shivering once I was out of my covers. It may have been June, but it was still a little chilly. I took off my tank top and walked over to my dresser to grab a long-sleeved t-shirt.

"You don't lock your door when you're changing...and you leave your window wide open too. Jeez, Bella...do you think you're ready to be on your own for eight weeks? You know, not all guys are as gentlemanly as I am. Some may not have the self-control to keep their hands to themselves."

_Edward.  
_  
I froze, not sure what to do. His voice sent chills down my body and I closed my eyes, willing my mind to get its shit together, but I was speechless. I could hear his footsteps as he crossed the room. They were careful, it was early and he had to know my parents were still both here.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, finally regaining enough composure to speak, though still turned away from him.

"I had to see you before Carlisle dragged me away from you. I _needed_ to see you," he whispered from right behind me. Suddenly, I could feel his fingertips ghosting along my arms from my shoulders to my fingers and back. The t-shirt fell from my grasp as my breath hitched and I could feel heat creeping across my body. I suddenly didn't care that I was exposed to him and I just wanted his hands on me.

My heart was beating so loud I was convinced he could hear it. It was pounding in my chest. Rapidly.

_boom boom boom_

As his fingers traced along my collarbone, I knew what he wanted so desperately to do and that he was waiting for a sign from me that it was okay, so I closed my eyes and grabbed his hand and placed it over my heart. It was slightly higher than where we both really wanted his hands, but it was a start, and about as forward as I was willing to get.

"Can you feel that?"

_boom boom boom boom boom_

I took my hand away from his and leaned back, resting my head on his shoulder. I was not scared because it was Edward.  
_  
_"Bella? Bella? Sweetie, can I come in?"

Renee! Mom! She can't come in and find Edward here.

My eyes flew open and I groaned at the loss of contact, but somewhat relieved at the same time. I was not naked. Edward was not going to get busted in my room, and it was not god awful early. I rubbed my eyes and groaned as my mother knocked once more on my bedroom door. It seemed like I had only been asleep for minutes and even then I was restless. So now at nine thirty in the morning, I was pissed at my mother for waking me. The fact that she interrupted what was obviously the most exciting dream I've had in, well… months, didn't do much to help her either.

"I'm up. I'm up," I mumbled as untangled my body from the sheets and reached down to grab my hoodie off the floor.

"You have a delivery," she called through the wooden door as I reluctantly tossed my legs off the edge of the bed and opened the door. There she stood, holding the most beautiful arrangement of pink and white flowers I had ever seen in my life.

"Who the hell would send me these?"

_Oh my God, if these were from Mike, I was seriously going to vomit. _

Angela and Edward assured me that nothing happened, but Mike was the type that if you nodded in his direction, he was convinced it was love. I spent half of last summer trying to convince him that while it was awesome that he helped me move a box to the storage room, it did not, in fact, mean that we had decided to forgo college, get married and become Forks' version of the Duggars. I swear he was pricing minivans at one point before he finally backed off.

"There's a card, so why don't you see for yourself," said my mother with a devious smirk as she thrust the vase towards me, and I clutched it gently. I put it on my desk as my mother closed the door behind her, laughing lightly as she went down the stairs. I picked up the card and gently pulled it out of the envelope, letting the words wash over me as I read them.

_Thinking of you__,__ Always – E_

Did he think I was mad that he messed with my iPod...because I wasn't. At all. I thought we had cleared that up last night, or I guess it was technically this morning. Perhaps this was his way of apologizing for having walked in on me as I was changing. I flushed at the memory but had to laugh at his reaction. Betcha he knocks from now on...

I reached for my phone, I wanted to thank him for the flowers and see if I could figure him out. Then I remembered that he wasn't around today since he was going into Seattle with his dad, having bitched about it incessantly last night when I talked to him. Still, it was weird that he sent me flowers. He had never sent me flowers before, much less for a reason as simple as him going away for the day. There had to be more to it. Didn't there? I couldn't stop the nagging feeling that everything was changing.

I pulled out my laptop and decided go Google flower meanings. I wasn't even sure what some of the flowers were, but I knew there were white carnations, which meant 'sweet and lovely' as well as 'innocent.' I researched the pink flower and discovered it was a Pink Camellia, which the website claimed meant 'longing for you', and the final flower was a Gardenia. It meant 'secret love'.

Longing for you? Secret love? Maybe I didn't have the right flowers after all...

I started to go downstairs to ask Renee about the flowers, thinking that maybe she had a book or something left over from her brief stint into the gardening world. She was notorious for finding and jumping head first into new hobbies, her enthusiasm only lasting a month or two until something else came along that distracted her. She may not be able to sit still for long, but life with Renee was never boring.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could hear her on the phone. I decided to go into the kitchen and grab some coffee first, with the hope that she'd be finished soon, but then I heard it.

"I know. They were gorgeous, Esme. Gorgeous. I've never seen an arrangement quite like it. Carnations and camellias and you would not believe how incredible the gardenias smelled...I can't wait until..."

"Ahem," I interrupted, cocking one eyebrow up and tapping my foot. Angela would be proud. Renee froze. Then turned around, smiled and continued.

"Oh absolutely. Put me down for two boxes of Thin Mints and 1 box of caramel popcorn. I'll mail you a check. Thanks." She quickly hung up the phone and pretended to look busy.

"When did the Girl Scouts start teaming up with the Boy Scouts in their fundraisers, Mom? It seems a little late for cookie orders this year too...funny..."

"Bella, I need to go to yoga. I'll be back this afternoon and we can go over your list of things we need to get for your trip." With that, she grabbed her keys and was out the door. I was tempted to wait and see how long it took her to realize that not only was her Yoga mat still in the closet, but that it was Tuesday and she had Yoga on Saturday morning. Would she be stubborn and drive around town for an hour not willing to give up the ruse? Who am I kidding. I knew if I needed to find her, all I'd have to do is call Esme. Peas and carrots.

So, I was right about the flowers. Now though, I wasn't totally convinced they were from Edward after all. The conspiracy theorist in me appeared and I knew then that there was really only one thing left for me to do.

_Did you send me these flowers ~B_

There wasn't a card? ~E I laughed because I could totally envision him cursing the florist as he sped down the highway towards Seattle.

_There was a card. But I caught our moms on the phone talking about them and, well, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't one of them ~B_

Nope, the flowers were from me. Go relax. Listen to your iPod ~E

I have more questions about the songs you picked btw ~B

You're breaking up. Static. Bad reception ~E

E...we're texting... ~B  


Then he was gone but I knew he'd find me though. When he was ready. Seattle was his Saturday morning yoga class.  
_  
Note to self...beg Angela to keep Renee and Edward apart this __s__ummer. She was starting to rub off on him.  
_  
I sat down on the edge of my bed and rested my chin in my hands as I looked at the flowers, feeling more confused than ever. I could understand him thinking I was sweet and maybe even lovely, but did he long for me? Was he in love with me?

I now had four days to find out.


	7. Roundabout

**A/N: Hello… is it me you're looking for? Sorry, CPW saw an episode of Family Guy tonight that referenced Lionel Richie, she had to do it. Risbee tried to talk to her out of it, she swears.**

**Anywhoo, we're back with another lovely chapter. Much thanks to our betababe MaggieMay14 for going through this chapter. Our besties Beegurl13 and Flightlessbird11 who keep us sane and there must be someone out there with a 12 in their name who likes us! Raise your hand if you are there.**

**Go read the chapter. We're almost all caught up to the original one shot, so pretty soon it will be all new stuff for you guys!**

**We don't own Twilight, we just enjoy distractions and have surprisingly similar musical tastes. Except Risbee has an unnatural love of Chris Daughtry that CPW just doesn't get.**

**EPOV **

Going to Seattle with my father the day before had been painful to say the least. The drive there I tried to sleep a little bit but my father insisted on discussing the situation with Bella, much to my dismay.

"How on earth can you sleep when I got you an extra large coffee at the diner this morning?" my father asked as I leaned my head against the window and watched the trees pass me by at record pace. My dad wasn't exactly keen on the fact that he had to get up on a weekday morning and drive all the way into the city to get my mother's anniversary gift, which was an antique roll top desk for her office at the house. My mother had hinted about one for years but was very particular about them. She saw one in an interior design magazine and my father made a few calls and found out it was for sale. When I cursed him about it, all he said was that this was the kind of thing you did for love and one day I would understand.

Of course, I already understood. Bella had the flowers, playlist and my constant love to prove it. However, she wasn't actually aware of these feelings.

"I had a long weekend, cut me some slack," I replied simply as my father turned on the radio to a classic rock station and Kansas started playing. I had to fight back a laugh as I watched my father mouth the words to 'Carry on my Wayward Son.'

"So… she leaves soon huh?"

"What?" I asked coolly as I propped my elbow up on the door and looked at my father, who was laughing gently.

"You know what I said, you're just in denial. It's not just a river in Egypt you know," he laughed again as I rolled my eyes.

"That is a horrible joke dad," I said with a sigh as I took another sip of my coffee before finally deciding that I needed someone to talk to about all this, so why not him right? "Yeah I know… four more days till she leaves. I'm trying to come to terms with everything."

"I'm proud of you for not begging her to stay. She needs to spread her wings and I think the two of you need to be able to determine that you can function without the other," he stated as narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't really want to have to learn to live without her, but I knew it was just 8 weeks, 56 days, 1344 hours, 80,460 minutes… I could do this. "The separation will be good for you. Perhaps you can both find someone else…"

"I don't want her to find someone else," I stated firmly as I interrupted him and raised my hand to his face in frustration, as I tried to silence him. "And don't start with the you and Bella can't be best friends forever junk, cause Emmett has already told me that. I want her… with me always."

"It's about time you pulled your head out of your ass," my dad added with another laugh as I punched him gently in the shoulder. "We've all known for the longest time that you guys were meant to be together, we just didn't want to push." I scoffed at this comment as my father nodded his head at me. "Okay, Charlie and I didn't want to push. Your mother and Renee seemed to think you both needed a nudge in the right direction."

"I… I just thought I had more time. I had planned to spend the whole summer with her, proving to her that I was in love with her and that I wanted only her, and was hopefully that she would feel the same. Now I only have four more days and one of them is basically a write off because I have to spend the day with you," I said with a slight growl of frustration.

"Have you done anything about it? Told her how you feel, I hear that is the easiest way to a girl's heart... honesty," my dad stated as my cell phone buzzed in my pocket, signaling that I had a new text message. I looked at the clock on the dashboard and realized that Bella probably had received the flowers already.

_Did you send me these flowers ~B_

_There wasn't a card? ~E _

I typed back quickly as my dad looked over at me in curiosity. "I sent Bella flowers this morning. All of the flowers symbolized how I felt about her, without saying the words," I explained to him as a wide smile broke across his face and he nodded his head slowly in approval.

"Well that is a step in the right direction. Renee loves flowers, so I'm sure Bella feels the same way." My phone buzzed again with another message and I laughed at what she had written.

_There was a card__, b__ut I caught our moms on the phone talking about them and, well, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't one of them ~B_

_Nope, the flowers were from me. Go relax. Listen to your iPod ~E_

_I have more questions about the songs you picked btw ~B_

I laughed again and I couldn't help but notice the big smile on my father's face.

"She makes you that happy with just a text?"

"Yup," I replied simply as I began to type in my response to her. "I used to see her at school in the morning and it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. When we would sit together during class, I felt like I was with my missing puzzle piece. I just… this summer is going to be rough." I looked out the window again before staring down at the unfinished message on my phone. Deciding to go for humor over emotion, I deleted what I had and wrote a new message instead.

_You're breaking up. _ _Static. Bad reception ~E_

"Just thank god for modern technology Edward. You guys have email, texting, phones… it will be easier than you think it will be," my father stated as he patted my shoulder and I clasped my phone tightly in my hand, expecting a response to my half assed text to Bella. "You have that great summer job Edward, which will certainly help make time fly."

_E...we're texting... ~B_

I laughed at her response again and my father let out a small laugh of his own. "So… you sent her flowers, what else have you done?"

For the rest of our trip into the city I told my father about the various ideas I had to try and win Bella's heart. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about each idea and even threw in his two cents which was appreciated since he had known Bella since birth as well. When we pulled into the Seattle city limits, I found myself happy about the fact that I had gone with my father, because we may not have gotten this time together otherwise.

When we finally got home early in the evening, Mom was waiting for us in the kitchen with dinner all prepared. She was literally floored when my father and I brought in her twentieth anniversary present and put it into the living room until we were able to make room for it in her office. The three of us had a quiet night and after I had climbed into bed to go to sleep, I decided to give Bella a call, figuring that since it was only ten she would still be up.

"Edward?" Bella asked sleepily when she answered her cell phone. I immediately felt remorseful for calling and assuming that she would be awake.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" I asked apologetically as she yawned into the phone, which only made matters worse.

"No, I fell asleep on the couch earlier while watching a Mariners game with my dad. I was trying to get in some quality time with the Chief," she stated as I let out a small sigh. I kinda wished I had been at Bella's house watching the game with her and her dad. That was usually a fun time for the three of us and we had been doing it since we were kids. Carlisle wasn't too much into sports, so it was nice to spend time with Charlie and he always treated me like a son. "Now I'm just getting change for bed."

Time stood still at that moment as I suddenly envisioned Bella naked in her bedroom. Jesus, how many of my wet dreams had been filled with that thought alone? Although usually in my dream I joined in the nakedness and we fucked until we collapsed into a sweaty mass onto her bed. I immediately felt myself harden and was thankful for the fact that I was alone, but there was no way I was going to rub one out with Bella on the phone.

"Um… hello? Did you go through a tunnel?" she asked with a hearty laugh, making fun of our earlier text conversation and I let out a small cough before speaking again.

"Sorry… frog in my throat," I said with another cough as I began to run every non sexual image through my mind in an effort to get rid of my straining hard on. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"Ah yes… tomorrow. I have been wrangled by Renee into spending the day with her in Port Angeles. We will be shopping for my final necessities for Europe and then going to a pottery studio. Please don't ask why. I think she forgot that I was turning 19 in a few months and has decided we are going to go paint plates or some shit," Bella said with a laugh as I joined her. She really did have the best, albeit weirdest relationship imaginable with her mother, but I knew they were both going to be heartbroken by the separation. I made a mental note to check in on Renee once a week even though it might be painful since she would probably make me pull weeds as she attempted to garden, but it would be worth it. "Oh and tomorrow night is my girls' night out with Angela and the girls. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I'll be home, dreading the fact that you will be leaving soon and that I will have a real job for the summer," I joked as I heard Bella's bed squeak softly so I knew she was getting into bed. "I have a few things I promised Esme I would help her get done, which includes moving her new roll top desk into her office. We have to rearrange a few things and Dad is working at the hospital in the morning. Lucky me."

"Your mom finally got her desk?" Bella asked enthusiastically, as her voice suddenly sounded more alive than it had since she picked up the phone.

"Yeah, Dad got it for her as a twentieth anniversary gift and we had to pick it up in Seattle today, thus why I was gone."

"Okay, that is too cute. Your parents are so adorable. We should all aspire to have a great relationship like they have," stated Bella firmly as I nodded my head resolutely in the darkness of my bedroom. 'One day' I whispered quietly to myself. Bella and I finished up our call and said a quick goodnight before finally hanging up the phone. I was disappointed that I wasn't going to see her the next day, but I had things that could pass the time. Like helping my mom move her desk and figuring out what to do for Bella on Wednesday.

The next morning after I had breakfast, I sprinted up to my room and closed the door firmly behind me. I grabbed the journal from my nightstand and moved my fingers slowly over top of the embossed letters that simply said 'BS'. I had purchased the leather bound journal for her weeks ago as a graduation gift, knowing full well that her current journal was almost full. Of course now the fact that she was going away made the gift even more fitting. I grabbed a black pen and opened it up to the very first page and began to write something that would be meaningful to her when she was away and hopefully missing me as much as I knew I would miss her.

_I wish that I could hold you now...I wish that I could touch you now...I wish that I could talk to you...be with you somehow._

I closed the book as soon as the ink was dry and then wrapped it as carefully as I could. As expected, it looked like it was wrapped by a drunken monkey, but Bella was used to my shitty wrapping skills after all this time.

I remembered that Bella was going out tonight with a few girls from school to celebrate her imminent departure after her day spent bonding and shopping with Renee, and I had to admit, I was pretty fucking pissed I wouldn't get to see her tonight. So when everything was said and done, I drove over to her house and snuck in her window, pleased that Bella kept her window open most of the time during the summer months. I laid the gift down on her bed and went back out the way I came in with no one the wiser.

**BPOV **

Tuesday night was perfect. Angela, Charlotte, Zafrina and I had originally planned to have a final hurrah weekend in August before we all left for our respective Universities, however with my impending adventure, we had to move up our last Girls' Night up to tonight. We had all the basics: movies, pizza, chocolate, pedicures, music and lots and lots of talking.

"Seven hours you guys," I said rolling my eyes and collapsing onto a giant pillow in the middle of the Webers' living room. "It took us seven hours to get everything done and I still have a few things to get...but there is no way Renee is coming with me." I recounted my adventure-filled day glad that they could find humor in my agony. Ok, so it really wasn't _that_ bad, but still...seven hours.

"And, yes Angela, that _was_ with the list of what I needed and where we could find it. I even had a map and detailed directions because you know Renee can get distracted faster than...hey, you know, this pizza is really, really good," I said taking a bite. "Which reminds me, I can't believe I didn't tell you about yesterday." The sounds of their not so subtle snorts made me pause and think about what I had just said. I grinned when I realized that my train of thought had completely derailed. Apparently the apple didn't fall far from the tree when it came to randomness. "Shut up," I said, rolling my eyes before joining them in laughing at myself.

Eventually, I proceeded to fill them in on the confrontation at the diner and none of them could believe the nerve of Jessica and Lauren, though they all thought it was funny that I went off on them like I did. Of course, that led to questions about why Edward and I were there to begin with, so I ended up having to recount the entire day...ignoring the smug side-glances from Angela since she knew some of the finer details. Though I did have to call Charlotte out on her fist pump of excitement because she had told me for ages she thought Edward and I should be together romantically.

As expected, they also ooh'd and ahh'd over the fact that Edward took me to the playground and then took it upon themselves to assure me that Edward was completely and totally devoted to me and wouldn't touch either of those girls with a twenty foot prosthetic limb. I had to remind them that there was nothing officially going on between Edward and myself, but they blew that off as semantics. I swear, was I the only one that hadn't seen it? How long has everybody noticed it?

Finally, it was time to go and I unwillingly announced this to my best girlfriends. I could barely keep my eyes open and Edward had made me promise to spend time with him tomorrow, though he wouldn't tell me what he had planned. You'd think I would be used to him surprising me by now, especially since he had been doing it for the past few days.

"Bella, as much as we want you to stay, you need to go home. You haven't listened to a word we've said for the past ten minutes." Reluctantly I nodded, knowing they were right, but really really not wanting to leave. God, if it was this bad now, how bad would it be on Saturday? I shuddered just thinking about it.

"Don't forget us when you're international, kay?" Angela, Charlotte and Zafrina hugged me tight as I held back the tears terrified to break the no crying rule we had set for tonight. When Angela broke the no contact with boys rule last time, she woke up with a life-sized cutout of Zac Efron standing beside her bed. I was scared to death that they'd decoupage the Jonas Brothers to my luggage and I'd be stuck with it for eight weeks. Yeah, that would be a fuckawesome first impression for my fellow students in Europe. So no tears for this girl, at least not until I got home. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed so hard, but now the night was over and honestly I couldn't wait to get in my bed and recover; I was exhausted.

I missed Edward today and I honestly couldn't remember when the last time we had gone an entire day without talking to one another. I shivered as I thought of the sound of his voice and knew I couldn't wait another minute before I heard it. I grabbed my phone from the passenger seat and pressed 1 on my quick dial. Some people had their home numbers first; others had their parents or an emergency contact. I had_ my_ Edward.

Unfortunately, I got his voice mail, and while I guess technically I did get to hear his voice, it wasn't what I needed. So I left him a message. "Hey. It's me. I'm just heading home from Angela's and realized that I hadn't talked to you all day; So...um... well, yeah, I missed you. Call me later, alright? I don't care what time. "

I hung up the phone, putting it in the center console before I pulled into my driveway. Even though it was already dark, I didn't want to risk the chance of Charlie seeing me talking on the phone while driving. He was big on rules like that. I don't know how many times I'd heard how he didn't have a cell phone until he was in his 40s and how young people today had lost the art of communication with all the texting, abbreviating and stuff. I kept waiting for the 'I walked to school uphill both ways in waist high snow over broken glass' speech.

I walked in the house, put my keys on the hook by the door and stopped dead in my tracks. Holy shit. Renee was sitting still. I made eye contact with Charlie and looked pointedly at mom, silently asking if she was ok. He grinned and I grinned back, both of us reveling in the silence and stillness that rarely existed.

"Stop it you two. I know you have this secret weird way to communicate, but I know what you're doing and it's not funny. Charlie, keep going," my mother chastised as I looked down and saw her feet in his lap and my heart just felt full. As crazy as mom was and as grounded as dad was, they fit together perfectly and one truly wasn't whole without the other. I just hoped that I would be as lucky in love as the two of them so obviously were. They knew just what the other needed and did it without hesitation.

"Good night Mom. Night Dad." I blew them both kisses and headed upstairs, groaning with every step as my feet continued to protest, the pain from walking around all day with Renee finally affecting me. I let out a sigh because I had a map and a list which made things move quickly, but I then groaned thinking about how it would have been so much worse otherwise.

I opened the door to my room and felt it. Edward had been here. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I could feel him, his presence, and it caused a wave of emotion to course through my body. I felt at peace. Relaxed. My day somehow felt complete.

I turned to get some pajamas out of my dresser and out of the corner of my eye, I saw an unfamiliar object in the middle of my bed. As I walked over to it, I saw that it was quite possibly the worst wrapping job ever. I counted at least 3 different wrapping papers and it was not that big of an item. Well, that definitely explained why I felt Edward's presence when I walked in the room. He _had_ been here, it wasn't just wishful thinking on my part. There was nobody else in the world that could make a gift look quite like that. It was so bad, it was almost endearing.

After taking a picture of it with my phone because no words could do it justice and in case I needed a quick pick me up when I was on my trip, I tore open the paper and gasped when I saw what was inside. It was beautiful. Rich and supple and soft. It was a journal.

I thought about my current journal, the one with the frayed corners and tear splotched pages. The one where I poured out my heart and wrote down every single funny thing that had happened over the past six months. The one that only had three pages left before I needed to start a new one. How did Edward know? He certainly didn't have access to it. Caressing the soft book, I held it to my chest and breathed in the scent of leather. I saw the engraving on the bottom corner. A sentimental smile graced my lips briefly when I realized that they were my initials, and when I opened it up to flip through the crisp white unmarked pages, my heart stopped.

_I wish that I could hold you now...I wish that I could touch you now...I wish that I could talk to you...be with you somehow._

He wrote those words tonight. I wondered if it was when I was leaving him that message. I knew at that moment that he was my other half; he was the Charlie to my Renee. We knew what the other needed and he made me so happy. Yes, I was leaving Forks in three days, but I would take him with me wherever I went. He would always be with me.

I sent a simple text to the number I could dial in my sleep with both arms tied behind my back.

_So perfect ~B_

It was. The journal, the week, the message. Us. I was ready to be his, if he would have me of course.

I laid down on my bed and let sleep take my body. I felt the stress and weight of the day, of the past few weeks, melt from my body and for the first time in months, I felt complete.

~*~*~*~*~

There was no response from Edward when I woke up the next morning, but I really didn't need one. I knew we had plans for later in the afternoon and I couldn't wait to see him; to look at him through different eyes. I still couldn't decide if what was developing between us was a knee jerk reaction to my leaving or if it was the real deal, but I was determined to figure it all out.

When I called Angela to tell her about the journal Edward left on my bed last night, I could practically hear her smile grow over the phone. "Oh he's good, Bella. Really good, and I don't care what you say, he totally knows what he's doing. I mean he gives you a new journal with an engraved cover and writes lyrics on the inside. Paper, leather and music Bella. The boy is wooing you. He. Is. Wooing. You."

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the heavenly combination of the paper and the leather as I contemplated Angela's theory. He did break out the trinity of Bella vices, though really none of them were really far-fetched. Still, he knew I had almost finished my current journal. That attention to detail had to amount to something, right? Combine that with the fact that it was embossed meant that this wasn't a spontaneous purchase; he had thought about it for a few days at least.

I sat at my desk, closed my eyes and breathed in the heavenly scents, each element combining to make my own personal love potion. I pressed my fingers to my lips, reliving the brief yet wonderful kiss he surprised me with in the car two days ago. I could still feel it.

"He's waiting for you to give him some sort of signal. The proverbial green light, so to speak. You need to tell him how you feel, Bella. A lot can happen in three days you know. Just put the two of you out of your misery and tell him."

I heard a shuffle on the other end of the phone and muffled voices before I heard Ben in the background, "Bella, if you cant tell him how you feel, at least tell him he's making the rest of us look bad. Hey! Ow! Stop baby!"

I laughed as I heard Angela put him back in his place and heard a muffled "Sorry, Bella. I don't know what I was thinking letting him out of his cage this afternoon."

"Its okay, Angela, really. Tell Ben that I'll be sure to let Edward know. Hey, I need to go. Edward will be here in an hour and I still need to finish getting dressed."

"Bella, if you really want to clue him in, open the door… naked. Ow! Fuck baby, that hurt."

"Angela, stop abusing Ben. It's ok. I know he has no filter. I'll call you later when I get home. MUAH." I ended the call and tossed my phone on my bed, walking over to my desk and picking up the journal. I ran my fingers along the embossing, wondering if Edward's fingers had also traced my initials, the thought sent a chill coursing through my body as I pictured his fingers gliding lithely along the soft leather. I wished more than anything that I could get inside his head for just a few minutes. Just long enough to figure out what he was thinking and then I'd know what to do.

~*~*~*~*~

Before I knew it, it was three forty five in the afternoon. I was actually ready to go a little ahead of schedule, which was completely unlike me, and even though Edward had said he'd be here by four, I had been pacing around the living room for thirty minutes already; thirty minutes that I had spent thinking about the events of the past week. The more I thought about it, there was no doubt in my mind that there was something developing between the two of us. Even though the idea of an "us" thrilled me beyond comprehension, I was still feeling completely and utterly confused about the timing and was more than a little freaked out about what it meant. The dynamic of us had changed, and even though I liked it, it also scared me to death.

It was quite obvious that neither one of us had the balls to lay it all out there, but after talking to Angela, I felt pretty confident about the signals I'd been receiving. The playground, the flowers, the kiss in the car. Still… what if I misinterpreted everything and lost him in the process? I couldn't afford to get my hopes up like that; too much was a stake. I was leaving in a few days for Christ's sake. Now was definitely not the time to start trying to dissect something this huge. However, just like Angela said, a lot could happen in three days and if things played out like I hoped they would, a lot of _good_ things could definitely happen. I felt a blush start to creep across my face and I willed myself to calm down. The last thing I needed was for Edward to start asking questions I was not ready to answer, at least not directly.

I slept solidly the night before, but the words he had written followed me in my dreams. _I wish that I could hold you now...I wish that I could touch you now.._. What made him choose those words? Did they mean something to him, and if so, what? How literal was I supposed to take them, if at all? Were they just some part of a quote he plucked out of cyberspace about missing someone, or was there some truth behind it? Gah, I wish I could just read his mind! In my heart, I knew what I wanted it to mean, but my head was just not allowing me to process it.

A moment later, I heard the door to Edward's Volvo close, and suddenly my heart felt like it wanted to jump out of my body. I didn't even wait for him to knock on the door, but instead I ran out of the house to meet him; like he was going to disappear if I didn't get out there immediately._ He said he'd never leave, remember?_

Remembering our conversation on the playground, I immediately felt all warm, fuzzy and relieved somewhat at his promise to never leave. Yet as I replayed the words from the journal in my head, I found myself suddenly feeling a bit awkward. The words wouldn't come, and I just stared at him like I had never seen him before. Finally, I just shook my head and snapped out of it. I couldn't let my confusion start to influence what we had between us; he was too important to me. He was my Edward.

"Where are we going?" I blurted out. Smooth, Bella, I scolded myself as I rolled my eyes at my utter lack of coolness.

"Hey to you too," he laughed back, reaching up to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. "Ready to go?" He motioned with his head towards his car before opening the passenger side door for me. I froze at the contact, his touch becoming an addiction that I craved. I needed more.

Edward rarely ever told me where we're going, and I stopped asking long ago, but before long our path became familiar, and I just knew. We pulled off on the side of the road, and I felt the grin spread across my face. Our meadow. There wasn't anything that could stop us here. It was our own safe haven in the world. We laughed here; we cried here, and we fought here. In fact, if there was one place on the face of this earth that defined 'Edward and Bella', it would be this circle of green in the middle of nowhere.

Edward opened the trunk of the Volvo and started to pull out everything, struggling to carry it all. It took all my energy not to start laughing as he started juggling, shifting and almost dropping everything in his hands. Finally, when I couldn't stand to watch anymore, I tried to step in and help.

"Here, let me get something." I reached out to grab the small paper bag that he was frantically trying not to drop. It wasn't that big, so surely I wouldn't damage his masculine pride by trying to carry something so insignificant.

"No," he snapped back, somewhat abruptly, and I pulled my hand back just staring at him. What the fuck was that?

"Fine." I stood there, crossed my arms and watched him continue to struggle until he finally shoved everything back in his trunk and looked at me.

"Um, okay, so maybe I need some help...," he grinned sheepishly, "but no peeking okay?" He handed me a blanket and different bag than the one I noticed earlier, grabbing the rest of the stuff himself before closing the trunk. "Let's go."

We walked the short distance to the meadow, all the tension melting away with each step even though we didn't say a word to each other. Edward took the blanket from me and laid it on the ground and once he had smoothed out all the wrinkles and had it exactly the way he wanted it, we both laid down and exhaled; it was just so good. We still didn't need to say anything, so silence remained between us for a few minutes, but it was not awkward. We just enjoyed being together, so I snuggled in close and breathed him in.

After a few minutes, he started to stir and I felt him put something in my hand. I looked down and couldn't help but laugh when I saw the familiar little blue bottle. Bubbles. Edward brought bubbles. These were not just any bubbles. These were the same bubbles in the same bottles our mothers used to give us to keep us busy while they gossiped when we were younger. We inevitably ended up soapy and sticky and one of us always got the solution in our eyes, but still, blowing bubbles with Edward was just one of those little things that I would remember for the rest of my life. I unscrewed the top and pulled out the wand and blew out a deep breath—watching as the procession of transparent spheres caught in the slight breeze and floated effortlessly wherever the wind decided to take them.

I dipped the wand back in the bottle before I moved it in front of Edward I stared intently as he pursed his lips and blew; his breath warm on my hand, soothing. His approach was different than mine. He took his time, slowly building up the biggest bubble he could. Nurturing it and taking his time until it grew so big that it broke off on its own. My bubbles flew out of the wand in rapid succession, but his ambled slowly behind. The symbolism was not lost on me. I was the soap in the wand; we both were, waiting for us to be shoved into to the world. I was just venturing out first. I watched as his bubble ambled on following mine, slowly and steady, but I turned away so I wouldn't see it pop. I never wanted to see him broken.

"Tell me all about the program Bella. What classes are you taking? Do you get any time to travel? Tell me everything," he said excitedly as he followed it with a deep sigh. "I want to live vicariously through you. I want to be able to look at my calendar and close my eyes and imagine what you are doing." He hesitated for a minute and then chuckled to himself. "Yeah, I kinda sound like a stalker, don't I?"

I started laughing and shoved him because there was nothing he could do that would ever freak me out. I could rationalize and analyze and justify his behavior… our behavior all I wanted, but it delved so far beyond the intellectual. I just wished I could trust myself enough to be led by my emotions and take the risk to figure it out. Instead, I took the easy way out and started answering his questions. I told him about my creative writing class and the cities I was supposed to visit and where I was staying—but I avoided telling him how I wished I could experience it with him, how I wished I could just stay where I was at that very moment, all summer long.

I closed my eyes, trying to reign my emotions in before I started crying, and it was then that I noticed our position. At some point, I'd put away the bubbles, and we'd shifted during our conversation from lying beside each other on the blanket to me lying almost on top of him. My head was resting on his chest, my ear almost directly over his heart. His right arm was on my back and his left hand was combing through my hair. It was so natural, right and good. I didn't want to move. _Ever._ I closed my eyes and took in the moment while we said so much without saying anything.

Once again, it was his movement that brought me back from my thoughts. I felt him shift around, trying to be discreet and not really succeeding, but I didn't move. I was too content. Edward stretched and reached over his head behind him for one of the bags, the rustling noise so much louder than it should in our small little meadow. He then slid something over my arm, before returning his own arm to my back and the other to my hair. I opened my eyes and saw the sun reflecting off a thin sterling silver bracelet, but when I looked closer, I saw that there was something engraved on it. More words. More of Edward's words. I pulled it towards my face, squinting to read the elegant script. 'Listen to Your Heart.'

_How did he always know? _

I turned my head to look at him, but he was lying back with his eyes closed. Again, we didn't need to say anything. I followed his lead and snuggled back into his chest. He tightened his arms around me, and we continued to feel.


	8. Bare

**A/N: We're back and oh so excited to give you Chapter 8 of A Beautiful Mess. As usual, we offer huge thanks to our girl MaggieMay14 for beta'ing this for us. Who could forget our online besties beegurl13 and flightlessbird11. Just so you are aware, Chapter 9 will be the last chapter of the expansion, therefore Chapter 10 and above is ALL NEW MATERIAL. Who's excited?**

**We don't own Twilight; we do however think that our husbands are brothers from different mothers.****  
**

**EPOV**

When I finally got home after our day together in the meadow, I spent hours lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling thinking about Bella. We had been lying together on the ground, our arms wrapped around each other and Bella's head nestled against my chest, there really was nothing more that I wanted for the rest of my life. Well maybe some food, a change of clothes, sex, a shower every now and again. All of that stuff, with Bella… that was what I wanted.

I realized that as of the next day, I only had two more days until Bella had to leave for London, so I knew I had to get my ass in gear. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know what to do for her on day six of my master 'Romance Bella' plan. I tried to brainstorm ideas for what to do, but before I could manage to come up with something decent, I ended up falling asleep in the same clothes I had worn all day long.

Of course my dreams were all x-rated and featured Bella in a starring role. We had been lying in the meadow, curled up against each other when the clouds moved and we were both lit in the bright summer sun. When I turned to look at Bella, my eyes adjusting to the sun, she looked at me with dark, lustful eyes before grabbing my face in her hands and kissing me passionately.

I let out a low groan as our lips worked together in perfect harmony, our tongues meeting and wrapping languidly around the others as I swept my arm around Bella and rolled us over until she was on the ground, with me hovering above her lithe and sexy body. I leaned down and began kissing her neck tenderly as Bella raised her hips up to meet mine, where it was rather obvious that I was already sporting a throbbing hard on.

"Edward," she said rather breathlessly as I kissed her firmly on the lips again to silence her. My hands ghosted slowly under her shirt, my hands taking in every single inch of her supple skin as she lolled her head back slowly and bit down on her lower lip. She was so fucking sexy. "Edward… more."

I grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head, licking my lips eagerly as I stared down at her supple breasts, which were simply covered by her bra now. I wanted to desperately to see them again, so I pushed the straps from her shoulder and then pulled the fabric down till it was cupping her creamy breasts. I leaned forward and sucked one of her nipples into my mouth as her fingers ran through my hair, tugging ever so gently. I groaned in response, loving the feeling of her fingers against my scalp and my hands massaged both of her breasts excitedly.

I moved my hand down between our bodies and began palming Bella's pussy through her pants, pressing firmly as she worked her hips against my hand, urging me to touch her more. I bit down on her nipple before switching to her other breast, my hand slowly moving up to unbutton her jeans. "Oh god yes," she purred at me breathlessly as I bit down on her other nipple as my fingers awkwardly pulled down her zipper.

Bella began to get impatient with me and began wriggling out of her jeans and panties, leaving me feeling a little overwhelmed. I never once thought I would be here, with Bella beneath me, it was too surreal.

_You're dreaming Edward, just enjoy it_

I shook my head and when I looked again, I was lying on my back staring up at the ceiling, still in the same position I had been when I passed out. I glanced towards my window and noticed the sun pouring in the sides of my blinds and let out a rather loud groan. _Fucking dreams._

I reluctantly got myself out of bed and glanced at the clock. It was just after nine in the morning and I had only slept for about five hours, but it was surely better than nothing. I stumbled into my bathroom and took a quick shower before heading downstairs where I found that the house was empty. I took advantage of the silence and made myself some Eggos before sitting on a bar stool at the island, trying to think of something to do next for Bella.

My mind began running through all of the things that I knew she loved; music, travel, literature, poetry…

"Jesus, Bella loved poetry. Why the hell didn't I think of that sooner?" I mumbled to myself as I took a sip of my ice cold milk and stared at my plate. The idea was ingenious, except for the fact that I knew absolutely nothing about poetry. I quickly finished my breakfast and put everything into the dishwasher before running upstairs to grab my laptop.

I settled on the couch in the living room and flipped open my laptop, and then plugged my headphones into my computer and immediately put my iTunes on, searching desperately for a song that would get me into the right frame of mind as I searched for poetry.

I didn't know much about it, but that wasn't the point. I was supposed to find something that had meaning, not write an essay about it. I shook my head for a moment and a smile crossed my face as 'A Message' by Coldplay came through my earphones.

_my song is love _  
_my song is love unknown _  
_and I'm on fire for you clearly _  
_you don't have to be alone _  
_you don't have to be on your own _

_and I'm not gonna take it back _  
_and I'm not gonna say I don't mean that _  
_you're the target that I'm aiming at _  
_and I'm nothing on my own _  
_got to get that message home_

With new found determination to prove to Bella exactly how I felt about her, I began searching the Internet immediately for something that would work to properly express my feelings for Bella. I had to admit, I was getting discouraged because Bella didn't seem to be grasping what I had been trying to tell her. Between the flowers, the bracelet and all of our time together reminiscing about our past, I really hoped that a decent poem would say to her what I couldn't seem to verbalize.

She was my life… my everything and had been for a very long time, but I had been too damn blind to see it. Hell, even our parents and friends seemed to sense the depth of love between Bella and me, but we couldn't. I couldn't even fathom to consider how much time we had lost because neither of us was willing to rock the boat of our friendship for a romance that might not even work out in the long run.

Jesus, I was such a fucking scared idiot. Bella leaving for eight weeks was a great thing for her, but if I couldn't pull my head out of my ass and tell her how I felt about it, I had a feeling I would lose her. I couldn't think of that as being a possibility, so I looked back at my computer and focused my efforts on poetry again. There had to be something that was suitable.

"What are you doing?" my mother asked as I sat perched on the couch in the living room, my laptop across my lap as I continued looking through thousands of poetry websites for something perfect. I glanced at the clock in the corner of my screen and noticed it was almost noon and I had been at this for almost two hours. My god was I ever horrible at Internet research and I apparently I wasn't paying any attention because I hadn't even noticed when my mother had come home.

"I'm looking for a poem."

"What kind of poem? Is it for Bella?" she asked, her smile wide as she sat across from me and looked at me eagerly, like she wanted to help. I was even more convinced by the way she looked at me that she and Renee were on some sort of mission to get Bella and me together.

"Maybe it's for her," I replied coolly as she laughed loudly at me.

"I don't know why you are hiding your feelings from me. I've seen you around her since the day you were born. Hell, you two used to bathe naked together," she began to say as I was suddenly overwhelmed with images of Bella and me now, in a bath together naked. I shook my head to erase the image before I got a hard on and my mother winked at me knowingly. "Renee and I have always thought you two were destined to be together."

"You couldn't have told me this a while ago," I asked sarcastically as my mother rolled her eyes as she got up from the couch. She came over and began to run her fingers through my hair slowly, rustling it slightly as she went. She used to do this constantly when I was younger, but the older I got, the less it happened, which was probably my fault because I stopped being desperate for affection from my mother when I turned twelve and began to notice girls.

"Love is something you need to learn on your own Edward, not be told what to do. However, I can tell you if you want something romantic, how about you look up Christopher Brennan. I always enjoyed his poetry when I was younger."

"You enjoyed poetry?" I questioned curiously as she nodded her head slowly.

"You'd be surprised Edward, I did have a life including likes and dislikes before you were born," she said with a laugh as I smiled at her supportively. "Yes, it included poetry. I know there are a lot of great romantic poets out there, but in my opinion you can't do much better than Christopher Brennan. I could suggest some passages from Shakespeare, Keats or even some Pablo Neruda… look him up when you are a bit older, but Brennan is definitely my first choice."

I watched with a bit of awe as my mother walked out of the room, looking very smug. Needless to say I googled Christopher Brennan and found one that was fitting called 'Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her.' The last passage being most important to me and I pasted it into an email and wrote a small note to accompany it.

_Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why" _  
_I love you now until I die. _  
_For I must love because I live _  
_And life in me is what you give._

I stared at the screen for a few seconds, re-reading what I had included before I let out a small sigh and quickly hit send. I had no regrets about sending it, but after it was gone I sat glued to the couch, staring at my computer screen as though I expected a quick response from her. Surely she had something better to do than sit in front of a computer and wait for emails from me.

"Did you find something?" my mother asked almost half an hour after I sent the email.

"Yeah. She hasn't responded though," I said, the disappointment clear in my voice.

"I'm sure she's just busy. She is leaving for Europe in two days after all," she added as she sat beside me and handed me a photo album I had never seen before. "Perhaps looking at these photos will help you deal with her leaving. She'll be back Edward. I know she will."

"Thanks," I uttered quietly as my mother kissed the top of my head and disappeared into the kitchen to work on dinner. I flipped through the pages, staring at every single picture for way too long before deciding to just stop stressing and tell her I loved her.

**BPOV **

_Please be online. Please be online. _

If I ever needed Angela to be on Gchat, this was it. While I waited for my ancient computer to finish loading, I replayed the fantabulous events of tonight in my head. Well, most of tonight was fantabulous; the last ten minutes however had me going from a state of bliss to a state of what the fuck?!

_Edward crawled through my window, wearing flannel pajama pants, a UW hoodie and his backpack. Wordlessly, he took his well worn __bag__ off and opened it, pulling out a photo album before sitting on my bed __and __patting the space beside him. Once I got over the vision of him sitting on my bed__ in pajamas__, I sat next to him and we spent the next hour going through all the pictures within the book and reminiscing over our seventeen years together._

_"I still can't believe you conned me into being Peter Pan just so you could be Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell can stand alone. There was no need to make me wear tights__, a__nd green ones at that." Edward shuddered as we were looking at pictures from Halloween two years ago._

_"Are you kidding? Do you not remember arguing with me that you could NOT be Captain Hook because that wig would mess up your hair?__"__ I reached up and tousled his hair, expecting him to back away, but instead when my fingers made contact he just stared __into my eyes __and leaned in to my touch. I slowed down my movement__s__ until I was just slowly dragging my fingers through his hair as our eyes __remained __locked._

_I warred with myself, wanting to tell him how I felt__,__ but terrified at the same time. Why did things have to be so difficult?_ _I shifted on the bed, wanting to get__ closer,__ when I felt the pins and needles in my leg._ _"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," I rolled back on my bed, massaging my calf. Fuck that hurt._

_Annnnnnnnd the moment was over. _

_Edward coughed and mumbled something to himself that sounded suspiciously like __'__don't leave me__'__, but didn't answer me when I asked him what he said. _

_"Once you're done writhing around on the bed...," Edward started then stopped when he realized what he said and grinned at me, waggling his eyebrows. I, on the other hand, immediately froze and felt a flush start to course across my body. "We still have some pictures to look at. I don't remember this one at all."_

_Rolling over, I crawled back up to where Edward was sitting on my bed. I may have exaggerated a little, because hey, two can play at this game, and I may have done a mental fist pump when I saw him gulp. _

_"Let me see," I said once I sat back down beside him and tried to remove the photo album from his lap, but he wouldn't let me move it. "Oh, that was from the Honeybee Festival last summer, you were playing some game over there, remember?" I asked, pointing to him in the background._

_He leaned in, getting a closer look. "Bella, you were totally checking out my ass, weren't you," he joked._

_"No," I huffed back hoping he believed me__, b__ecause I totally was__ and__ Esme and her blasted camera busted me. _

_After we finished looking at all the pictures, I realized that I didn't want him to leave and I felt a tightening in my chest like my heart was in a vice. I knew it would be incredibly hard to say goodbye to him tomorrow, so I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before I had to go. _

_"Edward, can you stay?" I whispered softly, not wanting to look him in the eye__,__ knowing the tears would start flowing__ if I did__. It was not an odd request since he had slept here before, but that was usually after a scary movie or to keep me company when my parents were out of town. Tonight was different though and even though neither of us would admit it, we both knew it._

_"To be honest, I was kind of hoping you'd suggest that," he replied, looking down at his pajama pants and grinning. "If you hadn't said anything in a few minutes, I was going to pretend to fall asleep so you'd be forced to let me stay." Again, he was one step ahead of me._

_He took off his hoodie, and I inhaled sharply as I took in the chiseled lines of his chest. His muscles were defined but not unrealistic for seventeen, and I gave silent thanks to baseball for creating that body and then to the man upstairs for letting me wear flirty pajamas tonight instead of my favorite sweats and holey t-shirt. I knew there was an advantage to packing early._

_"Hey. You're a thousand miles away...come back to me." _

_"Always," I whispered. God, were we the poster children for double meanings or what? _

_Edward held his arms open, and I buried myself in them, breathing him in and committing as much of him to memory as possible. Eight weeks was going to be a really long time now that I knew what I was leaving behind._

_"Are you all packed," he asked as he nodded towards the obviously stuffed luggage by my bedroom door._

_"Mhm," I replied__ casually__. "But__…__ can we not talk about the trip tonight?" I sat up, reached behind all my pillows and pulled out my well-loved teddy bear. I stared at Edward with a look that just dared him to make a smart ass comment. He knew better._

_"You're not excited about going? From the way you've talked all week, its like you can't wait to get out of here."_

_"Don't misunderstand what I'm saying, Edward. I'm so excited I can't stand it. I can't wait to go__, to __see__,__to__ hear and __to __experience it all. I just don't want to focus on that tonight. I don't want to focus on what's coming..." I paused and waited for the chuckle that would inevitably occur considering Edward was a seventeen year old boy__, a__nd he didn't disappoint. "God, you're predictable," I said rolling my eyes. _

_"Anyway, I don't want to focus on what's going to happen, I want to just sit and think about all the good things I have in my life right now__.__"_

_"Anything you want, Bella," Edward replied. "We'll do whatever you want."_

_I lay back down on his warm chest, and we cuddled__, s__nuggled and continued talking for hours. Just like the other night on the phone, we talked about everything. We couldn't stop laughing as we recounted how he tried to catch __c__hicken __p__ox from me because he was jealous that I got to miss a week of school and how his spectacular plan backfired when__ he__ ended up catching it the following week and was quarantined for all of Christmas break. Then there was the time he tried to cheat, oops, I mean 'help me' win the Girl Scout cookie sales contest. __Plus,__ who could forget the Halloween party at Emmett's last fall and how we almost pulled __off the party without his parents knowing__, and we would have if Mr. McCarty hadn't looked up. We never did figure out how those footprints got on the ceiling._

_Just about every memory I had, both good and bad, involved Edward to one extent or another. His fingers traced up and down my arm, so light that if I wasn't watching the movement, I wouldn't be positive he was touching me. He was so gentle and kindhearted and I was completely struck by the beauty of that moment. It was then that I finally understood what my heart knew before my mind did__; __ I was in love with Edward Cullen._

_I rolled off of him to reach over and grab a Kleenex, intending to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. He rolled with me until he was hovering over me, propped up on his forearms. _

_"Yeah. All these stories are getting to me. I guess with everything going on in the next few days I just got a little sentimental." I answered back, not yet willing to let him know the truth behind my tears. I wasn't willing to load him down with that little nugget of information less than 24 hours before I left for two months. That would be beyond cruel...to both of us. _

_He rolled again, pulling me with him until we were both on our sides and face to face. He took his hand and gently wiped away my tears with his thumb, never breaking eye contact. When his thumb reached the outer edge of my cheekbone, he continued to slide his fingers down the side of my jaw. He maneuvered his hand until the backs of his fingers were resting under my chin and he was able to gently lift up my chin. He closed his eyes and he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. His lips encased my lower one, and I responded eagerly, yet carefully, not wanting to trivialize the moment. This kiss was different than the little pecks on the cheek we had shared before and the one in the car earlier in the week. This kiss was a big deal, and we both knew it. Before we were just Bella and Edward, two separate people but now the idea of 'Bella and Edward' together, was out there and we would have to deal with it. If that's what it meant though, then bring on the dealing, because I did not want this kiss to end. _

_Ever._

_Then without warning, Edward pulled his lips away from mine and sat up abruptly. Before I had a chance to ask him what was wrong, he was grabbing his hoodie and backpack __before__ climbing out the window. He paused just briefly before he started climbing down the tree and our eyes met. There was so much regret in those green eyes. I felt like part of me died a bit. _

_Then Edward left. _

_What the fuck?_

I was pulled from my replay by the familiar chime indicating a new email. Several new emails actually. Something must have been wrong with our Internet because I went from having no new emails all day to thirty. Emails from Angela and a few other kids from school wishing me a fond farewell, from the airlines confirming my flight information and reminding me that I could go ahead and check-in online since my flight was in less than twenty-four hours away. There was also one from Edward that apparently had been sent earlier in the day when I was running last minute errands with Renee.

Huh, he didn't mention sending me anything...he better send me one when he gets home apologizing for confusing the shit out of me tonight. I wasn't mad, necessarily, but I was completely and totally bewildered by his behavior.

I opened it and couldn't believe what I was reading. There were just a few sentences explaining that the words below made him think of me and then one of the most romantic poems I had ever read.

_Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why"  
I love you now until I die.  
For I must love because I live  
and life in me is what you give._

Edward knew Christopher Brennan's work? He relates Brennan's work with me? I was a goner. I was done. I was completely and totally his. I knew at that moment that nobody else on earth would ever be able to make me feel what Edward makes me feel. Nobody. While I had no concrete proof of his feelings toward me, based on the words of this poem, now more than ever, I thought he felt the same way. So why the hell did he leave?

_Please be online. Please be online._

A/N: Story rec time from CPW: Unraveled Knot by twistedcoincidence is a wonderful, and recently completed, story that both Risbee and I loved. Seriously, go read it. You won't regret it, please I love me some awkward accountantward.

Well actually, leave us a review and then go read it.


	9. Departure

**A/N: So a few folks have organized this awesome venture called "Grateful to the Readers" where as many authors as possible will update their stories on February 28th as a thank you to the wonderful and supportive readers in the fandom. If you are an author and are interested in joining the efforts, visit theficbridge (dot) blogspot (dot) com (change to the proper punctuation) and read the rules and sign up.**

**Obviously, after this update, ABM will be updated again on February 28th. Woo Hoo!**

**We would like to thank our usual crew, our beta superb MaggieMay14, our besties Beegurl13 and Flightlessbird11. Go read their shit. They rock.**

**We don't own Twilight; we do however have a recently developed odd fascination with curling.**

**BPOV **

When I finally woke the next morning, my head hurt and my heart ached. Kissing Edward had been…absolutely perfect, until the moment he ran from my room like a madman possessed in the middle of the night. I had gotten his email with the poem right after he left and my brain hurt from trying to decode what the hell he had been trying to convey. Clearly the poem was a romantic one, but was he really in love with me like I was in love with him?

When I picked up my cell phone to call him in the morning, I just couldn't do it. I stared at the numbers for what seemed like an hour, alternating between calling him, texting him or just throwing my phone across the room in a fit of anger and confusion. I didn't know what the hell had gotten into him last night, but I decided I couldn't let his indecision and confusion ruin my trip of a lifetime.

I took a long hot shower, trying to wash the stress from the last 24 hours from my body and when I finally made it downstairs, I was a bit saddened to see I was alone. "Buck up Bella, you'll be without your family for two months in a few hours," I said out loud to myself as I grabbed the box of Froot Loops from the cupboard and ambled slowly over to the counter. I poured the milk over the cereal and watched and the little o's get darker as they soaked it up. Everything seemed to go in slow motion this morning, but I knew the moment I got out of the house, it would move way too quickly for me.

Finally, I just gave in to my lack of appetite, poured the bowl of cereal in the sink and ran the garbage disposal, listening to the sound of the rotors grind and pulverize the mess until it faded into nothing. I wished I could just do the same. I had so many different thoughts, emotions and what not flowing through my brain right now and I wish it would just go away and let me focus. It was very Scarlett O'Hara of me, but I just couldn't cope with it anymore today. I decided to think about it another time.

The sound of crunching gravel in the driveway broke me from my own personal pity party by the sink, letting me know somebody was home. I started to head up the stairs, figuring it was Charlie or Renee, so I was surprised when I heard the doorbell chime and not the sound of keys in the lock. When I opened it, I was met by the sight of pigtails, Hello Kitty pajamas and rain boots. Definitely not Charlie.

"God woman, why didn't you answer your phone?" Anglea stormed past me and sat down on the sofa to take off her boots.

"I left it upstairs when...wait… are you wearing footie pajamas," I squeaked as I looked at Angela's attire one more time. Awesome. I must have some of those_. Now._

"Don't mock the kitty," she growled through gritted teeth. "And stop trying to change the subject. I am not happy with you right now. I tried to call your ass about fifteen times and no answer. Next time you send me an email like the one you sent last night, keep your damn phone with you if you leave your room. Jesus woman, I didn't even stop for coffee on the way over here. Though I did throw Ben out the car as we passed Edward's house so he could do some recon work."

"You know Edward is going to have a field day if Ben showed up looking half as good as you do, Ang." I joked back, a smile crossing my face for the first time today.

"Oh Ben looks even better, his pajamas have an ass flap. Now lets make some coffee and show me that poem."

I started giggling at that point and jumped on Angela because, bless her heart, she knew just what she was doing. After I finally stopped laughing and Angela had fixed herself a cup coffee from the already made pot, I stood up and grabbed her hand, leading her up the stairs and talking nonstop. The floodgates had been opened and my thoughts and words started spewing forth like it was the last day I'd ever be able to talk. I told her everything I could about last night and how part of me was convinced that Edward loved me like I loved him. Yes, I said it out loud and it felt good. Then I let my over-thinking set in and went on and on about how the timing was just wrong and that it wouldn't be fair for me to leave and hope that he waited for me, even though I really,_ really_ wanted him to.

Angela just sat there and let me talk, and talk, and then talk some more. When I finally I ran out of breath and words, I crawled under my covers, afraid for what she would say because sometimes the truth hurt and she wasn't one to ever mince words. Once she realized I was done, she turned to my computer, found Edward's email from yesterday and started reading. When she finished, she got up out of the chair and crawled under the covers with me, though the look on her face was even worse than what I had been expecting. It almost looked like she was pissed at me.

"Bella, for somebody so fucking smart, you are completely dense. For years, I have stood back and hoped that the two of you would come to your senses and see the same blinking neon sign the rest of us have been blinded by forever now. I can't bite my tongue anymore. I won't. Edward. Loves. You. He loves you, you love him and instead of spending the week in post-coital bliss like you should have because, lets face it, you both desperately need to get laid, you've danced around each other with this 'does he like me, does she like me' bullshit. Its oddly reminiscent of the African Anteater Ritual and while it was entertaining for a while, its time to learn some new moves," said Angela in one long breath as she stopped for a moment. I wanted to say something, but she immediately began to speak again.

"Now, I love you. Really I do. But if the two of you don't get your shit straight by the time you come back, Ben and I are going to lock the two of you in a small room and blast Justin Bieber until you do. I don't care who you are, that won't be pretty. Seriously, Bella, if he gets anymore obvious, he's going to bash you over the head with a wooden club and drag you away by your hair." She only stopped when her phone buzzed. "Its Ben. Apparently Edward is not as forthcoming as we had hoped. God you two are made for each other. They're going to go play frisbee golf and then go to the diner for lunch. Don't worry though, they should be home in time for Edward to come tell you goodbye before you leave. If you want him to, that is."

"I don't know what I want anymore," I answered. "I mean, I do...but I don't."

"Way to be decisive there Bella," she laughed. "We can figure that out later. Come on, lets watch The Princess Bride. I need a good laugh and you need to be distracted." She got up, put the dvd in the player on my dresser and before I realized it, I stopped worrying about everything and lost myself in the pure genius of that movie. When Ben called again later, he was already outside and sitting in Angela's car, which meant it was time for her to go. I walked her downstairs, still not sure what I was going to do, but feeling much better.

"Call me when you can, email me. Or we can skype. I'll miss you so much, Bella. Have a great time!" She hugged me furiously and kissed me before she opened the door and earning a 'woohoo' from Ben. We both flipped him off and hugged each other again.

"I'll miss you too, Angela. See you in eight weeks." She stepped down the first step before I added, "Oh, and I do not need to get laid," I watched as she got in the car and turned to go back inside when I heard it. The harmonious voices of a couple in love...

"YES YOU DO!!"

I spent the entire rest of the day checking that I had everything packed and putting it all in my mom's small Toyota Corolla. Charlie and Renee were both working the afternoon shift and weren't going to be able to take me to the airport in Port Angeles to catch my flight, but they were going to meet me there to say goodbye. I was looking forward to the drive by myself, thinking the time alone would be a great way for me to clear my mind before boarding my flight to Seattle and then to New York. The only thing that currently weighed on my mind was the fact that I desperately wanted to see Edward again before I left. I wanted to know why he had run away from me and our kiss, but I couldn't bring myself to go and see him.

When everything was in the car, I noticed that I still had an hour or so to kill before I had to leave the house. I went up into my bedroom to get a book to read, when my eyes noticed my flowers from Edward sitting on my desk. I grabbed one of them and began picking at the petals, chanting slowly to myself 'he loves me, he loves me not,' and hoping that I would get the outcome I wanted. When I finally plucked the last petal with 'he loves me' falling from my mouth, I grabbed for my cell phone out of my pocket and tried to call Edward, planning to beg him to come and see me. It went straight to voicemail.

It wasn't a shock when I went to leave the house just after six thirty, deciding to leave a bit early because there was no other reason to stay around, to catch my ten o'clock flight that it was pouring outside. This was Forks after all, the rainiest place in the whole fucking world. Actually, wasn't London really rainy? I was trading one depressing rain soaked town for another, I groaned to myself as I grabbed an umbrella from beside the door and I made a run to the car, praying I didn't manage to get too wet during the short run to the car. Once safely inside, I plugged in my iPod and then turned on the windshield wipers, pulling out of the driveway, eager to begin my summer aboard.

As I started to drive down my street, something made me look back one more time. I don't know what it was, but I did and was shocked by what I saw. There was Edward, standing in the middle of the road, looking completely out of breath and soaked to the bone in the pouring rain. I had no idea why the hell he was standing there, but I caught a quick glimpse of him and couldn't help but notice the despair that was obvious on his face; he thought he had missed me.

My foot hit the brake, and I put the car in park as I was already out the door and running towards him, the rain inconsequential at this point. His arms enveloped me, picking me up and holding me in close to him as we both breathed very loud sighs of relief. I couldn't believe I was about to leave for two months without saying goodbye to him.

"Oh thank God, thank God," he whispered quietly into my hair as my heart thumped excitedly in my chest. Setting me down, he looked into my eyes and it was like all the pieces of our puzzle fit together. "I thought I'd missed you."

"I wanted to see you one more time before I left, but after last night… I couldn't do it," I admitted ruefully as Edward pushed some of my wet hair away from my face, making it easier for him to see me.

"Why did you leave last night?"

"I'm scared shitless of you leaving me and never coming back. Why the hell would you want to come back to me and Forks after you've been to England and France? Why would you want me when you've got all the men in Europe wanting you?"

"I don't want all the guys in Europe, Edward," I admitted confidently. We were still crushed to each other, our hot breaths showing in the cold early evening air. This wasn't exactly how I expected my last encounter with Edward to go, but I couldn't just push my feelings to the side any longer. He had to know, even it tore my heart apart for the next two months, I couldn't go away without him being completely aware of how I felt about him.

"What do you want?" he asked as I shivered slightly, but not because of the cool rain. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't manage to say any of them and explain myself, so I did the only thing I was sure he would understand and I kissed him. Hard. My lips melding to his with all the passion I could muster. My hands grabbed the back of his neck and slowly made their way through his wet hair as I pulled him closer to me, unable to get enough of him.

"You. It's always been you," I said breathlessly when I finally pulled away. "Everyone else saw it but me, and it may have come at the worst possible time, but it has always been you Edward. I want you." Edward's lips then attached themselves to my neck as his hands moved up the back of my wet shirt. Before I could even comprehend what was going on, Edward lifted me up by my ass and was carrying me towards the car, pressing me against it as he rubbed his hard cock against my aching body.

My mind was literally being pulled in so many different directions at that moment, I wasn't sure I would make sense of it. Part of me was relieved that he was responding so favorably to my kiss and another was wondering if he was simply placating me. When I pulled back and looked at him right in the eyes, I knew he was in this as much as I was. Suddenly, all I could think about was leaving without having been with him. My body literally quaked with need for this man, my other half, and there was no way I was going without him knowing that I wanted him in_ every_ possible way. "I can't leave without being with you."

"Bella," he began to say before I silenced him with my lips, my tongue snaking out and plunging deep in his mouth, which elicited the world's sexiest fucking groan from Edward.

"Please," I muttered as I noticed his eyes darting around as though he was looking for somewhere for us to go and for the first time ever, I had never been so happy to live on such a deserted street. "Here. We can do it here."

"I'm not making love to you for the first time in the rain against your mother's car," Edward said, sounding a bit disappointed in me, but I didn't care. I needed to be with him. I needed this reminder as I left him for two months. A reminder that he loved me only and that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I grasped the hem of my shirt and pulled it off over my head, listening to the hard thud of the wet fabric against the hood of the car. "Shit Bella."

"Edward, I'm leaving in a few hours, why are you hesitating?" I asked as I looked at him with concern as his face fell at my words.

"You're still leaving?" he asked, his face downtrodden as he buried his head into my now bare chest. He kissed it gently as I lifted my hands to his hair again and stroked it tenderly.

"I have to go Edward. I promise that I will come back to you and we can go off to university together as boyfriend and girlfriend, if that is what you want," I stated firmly, hoping to God he would simply understand why I needed to go. As much as I loved him, I couldn't let this opportunity slide through my fingertips.

"Do you promise?" he asked as I felt his hand against the inside of my thigh, stroking the wet fabric tentatively as I suddenly wished I was wearing a skirt instead of jeans. I nodded my head as Edward pulled me in for another kiss.

"I promise," I whispered against his sweet lips, and he suddenly relented, giving in to the passion that was so desperate between us. Edward's hands were everywhere on both my clothed and bare skin, his lips doing magical things to my neck as I let him lift me onto the hood of the car, his body pressed firmly between my legs, and I could feel all of him as he ground his hardness against me.

"I have wanted to do this for so long," he said quietly as he kissed his way down my stomach, his hands fumbling with the button and zipper on my jeans. I lifted my ass off the hood and Edward swiftly pulled my soaking wet jeans away from me. I felt so exposed in just my bra and panties, but I didn't care. Every single car in town could have driven down my deserted lane at that moment, and I wouldn't haved changed a thing in the world.

Very little was said between Edward and me as I felt his fingers hook on the edge of my panties and he pulled them down as he stared at me, the lust clear in his eyes. I had never felt more wanted or sexy in my life. Once I was naked below the waist, Edward began to unbuckle his belt and tug his pants down to release his cock, which made me smile and lick my lips simultaneously, because it was just perfect… well for me anyways. I gasped as his finger worked its ways between my lips and he stroked my clit gently, my whole body tensing slightly because I had never felt another finger, other than my own, working it's way around my pussy. His finger deftly circled my hard nub before he put pressure against it, rubbing it firmly as I started literally dripping in excitement.

"Fuck Bella," he growled as he eased his finger inside my tight pussy before pulling it out and sucking on it, making me groan in arousal. Edward suddenly wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight to his chest as I felt his cock right at my entrance.

"Have me. Have all of me," I said as I began to hear the words to my favorite Roxette song run through my mind. _Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye_. "I love you."

"Fuck, I have loved you for so long Bella," he admitted sadly. "I thought I had forever to tell you." Edward tightened his grip around my body, and as I leaned forward to kiss his lips sweetly, he entered me and I gasped. He felt perfect, and I never wanted this to end.

"You just told me," I whispered against his lips as the rain poured between our eager bodies and he began to move slowly in and out of me, taking his time as he showed me just how much he loved me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him deeper into me, never wanting to lose the connection between us.

I thought about our relationship, and realized that while this scenario was not 'the ideal', it was perfect for us. Uncomplicated and pure, with a little bit of awkwardness thrown in for good measure. We didn't need the games and the frills as long as we had each other. I looked at Edward, his eyes closed and his brow furrowed in concentration. I could feel my release building in my body, and I moved my hands to his face, bringing his mouth to mine. My body exploded, and I could feel him follow behind me, our eyes locked on one another, and I swear I could see into his soul. My heart was racing, and his body was shaking. We were completely drenched, but there was nothing I would change about the moment.

With gentle kisses and no words, we both acknowledged that it was time to get going. He was grinning from ear to ear and I wore an equally brilliant smile as we gathered up the clothes that had fallen on the ground, stealing glances at each other every now and then but not really looking at the same time because, honestly, bending down and reaching for things while naked really isn't pretty.

Once we had found everything, he took my clothes from me, put them on the hood of the car along with his own things and pulled me close before wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace. I closed my eyes and melted into his body, committing the feel to memory and relishing in how good his touch felt. He opened the driver's side door and gestured for me to sit down before walking around the car and getting in on the other side. I looked at him pointedly and waited patiently until he couldn't stand it anymore and finally asked, "What?"

"Seatbelt, Edward"

"Seriously?"

"Cops daughter, remember?" I asked pointing at myself

"Naked in cop's wife's car with cop's naked daughter, remember? If we get pulled over, do you really think they're going to remember if I have my seatbelt on or not?" He tried to keep a straight face, but failed miserably. Two seconds later I was in hysterics with him and if we thought the clean up was bad, naked belly laughs were much worse because things jiggled. Finally, we got a hold of ourselves and he reluctantly put on his seatbelt, after I convinced him that we could get pulled for him not wearing one and only then would our nakedness be discovered, not the other way around.

"You know, that was not the way I had imagined that happening," he mumbled suddenly, the look on his face endearing and full of concern? "I wanted..."

"Stop, Edward. I wouldn't have changed a thing, really. Unconventional, sure… but I'll never forget it."

"And you're okay with it, right? I mean, obviously I'm fine with it," he smirked, "but you're the most important person to me now."

"You know me...I'm not a grand gesture type of girl. All I wanted was you...I have for a while now, I just didn't realize it until recently. From what everybody else tells me though," I said, rolling my eyes, "this was a long time coming." I stopped and realized what I just said and as much as I fought the urge, I couldn't help but meet his eyes as we laughed like twelve year olds.

"Take me back to your house, woman. My ass is starting to stick to the seat."

It was at that moment that I knew we were going to be fine.

We drove back to my house to get dry and cleaned up, bursting into laughter every time we looked at each other naked in my mom's car. Things were so easy between us, and I knew that we'd make it eight weeks and thousands of miles apart. We were fused together, our two halves were now a whole and it was perfect.

Edward insisted on driving me to the airport, so I called Renee to let her know why her car would be in the driveway when she got home from work. Once we were in dry clothes, Edward looking a little less than comfortable in Charlie's jeans and a hoodie he reclaimed from me, it was time to go. The drive to the airport was over before it began, and I found myself facing the moment I had dreaded since I found out I had been accepted into the program.

"Edward, I have to go." He nodded and kissed me. It was a kiss that made my toes curl, and I felt like every nerve in my body was on fire.

"Something to remember me by," he murmured, that smirk spreading across his face. Not willing to be outdone, I kissed him back just as he had kissed me, leaving him breathless and wanting more.

"That is something for you to remember me," I teased back. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll email you and call you when I can," I said as I tried to reassure him.

"I'll be here waiting."

"I have to go."

"I don't want you to go," he admitted as I felt his lips move gently across my own.

"I have to go."

"You have to go."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I kissed the tip of his nose one more time before getting out of the car. I wouldn't let him go with me inside; it would just prolong the hurt. He pulled away from the curb, and I watched him for as long as I could. Wiping away the tears, I looked at the flight schedule, seeing that my flight was on time. I put my ear buds in my ear and turned on my iPod, listening to Edward's playlist as a way to keep a connection to him.

Listen to Your Heart was still playing from when I was listening yesterday, and I found myself seeing the past week in the words. I was never more thankful for listening to my own heart.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Renee calling my name from over by the ticket counter, and I looked out the window one more time out of instinct. My dreams were a plane ride away, but my future and my love and my heart were waiting for me back in Forks. Wiping away my tears, I took a deep breath and mouthed a silent 'I love you' towards the window, towards Edward.

I would be back, but for now, London was calling.

**EPOV**

I would have never thought when I left my house that night, desperate to see Bella before she left that things would end the way they did. I made love to her. I confessed my love to her and she reciprocated, literally making me the happiness guy in the entire world at the moment.

My heart fell in my chest the moment she said she was still leaving. Not that I thought us professing our feelings wouldn't make her leave, it just made it all the more harder though. How the hell I was going to get through the next eight weeks without her by my side, in my arms and in my bed? Fuck, I couldn't even make love to her on a bed, instead settling for the hood of her mother's car.

"You could have gotten her into the back seat asshole," I cursed to myself as I walked in the front door of the house after dropping Bella off at the airport. I was shocked to find my mother sitting in the living room, watching The Tonight Show.

"Renee called me," she announced as I moved over to the couch and sat down beside her, watching Jay Leno's stupid 'Jaywalking' gag, which had gotten old about a week after he first did it. "So… Bella got off alright?" My eyes grew wide at her comment, immediately thinking of the sex we had shared, but my mother just laughed and shook her head. "I meant her flight Edward. Did her flight leave on time?"

"Yeah, her flight left on time. I'm expecting a text from her at any minute now to let me know she landed safely in Seattle and is waiting for her next flight to New York." My mother simply nodded her head knowingly as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and I fell into her side, letting her console me. "I'm in love with her."

"I know you are baby, but Bella needs this. She'll be back before you know it," Esme said gently as I felt her hands muss with my hair slightly, like she used to do when I was younger.

"I know, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I feel empty mom, like I am missing the other part of me. Bella would go home every night, but I always knew I would see her the next day, so it didn't hurt as much. This feels unbearable," I admitted as my mother held me closer and I felt her lips against my hair. If there was one person who could make me feel better at this precise moment, it was my mom.

"I'm guessing Bella loves you too?"

"Yeah," I replied with a smug grin, remembering the moment only a few hours ago when Bella admitted she was in love with me. It hadn't been perfect, but it was perfect for us.

"Then take comfort in that fact Edward. In fact, I think you should also consider that this can't be easy on Bella either. You can mope about everything all you want, but I am sure wherever she is right now, she is just as heartsick as you." My mother was always the voice of reason and today was no exception. I gave her a gentle hug and ran upstairs to my bedroom, grabbing my cell phone from my pocket as I went.

I practically leapt onto my bed after I had closed the door tightly behind me, and began typing out a text message to Bella, hoping she would get a chance to read it before she left.

_Have a safe flight and don't worry about me. I want you to live your dreams, because you are mine and I will be waiting for you. ILY Forever ~E_

A few minutes later, I got a text back from Bella letting me know that her flight to New York was leaving early and they were just finishing boarding. She reiterated her love to me one more time and I sent her back a quick reply, telling her to be safe. I fell asleep with my phone clutched tightly in my hand, desperate for any further communication from my girlfriend. She may have been off seeing the world, but she was mine and I wasn't worried anymore. Eight weeks would pass by quickly, I knew they would.


	10. Journey

**A/N: We're back! **** We delayed this update slightly so that we could post it for the "Grateful to the Readers" day that was spearheading, because we love our readers.**

**You know who else we love? Kassiah and Ninapolitan who rec'd this little fic over on 'The Fictionators' last week! We were so shocked and flattered, that we may have curled up in a ball and cuddled, had we been in the same country. LOL.**

**We don't own Twilight; but yesterday was Risbee's birthday, so head on over to P.I.C's Fan Fic Corner to check out the lovely gifts she received. Check out picffcorner(dot)blogspot(dot)com for all the specifics.**

**BPOV **

Leaving Edward in the parking lot at the airport had been the hardest thing I had ever done, though I know it would have been even harder if I had made the decision to leave for eight weeks without him knowing how I truly felt. It was tough and painful and heart wrenching, but I couldn't let it put a damper on my trip because that wouldn't have been fair to either one of us. So instead I went through the automatic doors alone, a giant swirling mass of emotions with two overstuffed suitcases and a carry on bag.

Mom and dad were waiting by the ticket counter as I walked into the airport, dragging my luggage behind me. Bless her heart, Renee knew something was up but didn't press when I didn't offer up any information. Instead she just wrapped her arms around me and let me sink into her while Charlie took my bags to the counter and checked me in. She was flighty as hell but when it was game time, she was the best mom I could have ever asked for.

"Go and live Bella. Make the most out of these weeks. Think about all the wonderful times that are ahead of you and we'll all be right here waiting for you when you get back. Now go hug your father goodbye and let him off the hook. He's been trying to figure out what to say to you all afternoon. See...you're making his moustache twitch," she gestured over to where Charlie was shifting his weight from one leg to the other and fidgeting with his keys. Poor guy.

I walked over to him and gave him a big hug, effectively taking the responsibility of what to do or say off of his shoulders. "You remember where the extra key is, right?" I asked him and gestured towards mom, knowing she'd lock herself out at least three times while I was gone. He took my boarding pass from the ticket agent and handed it to me before picking up my carry on bag and putting it over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know and I made two extra copies last week just in case," he laughed as he punched my arm playfully. "Let's go kid." We started walking toward security and with each step I could feel my excitement growing. I got to the point of no return and put my bag on the conveyor belt. I took off my shoes and put my silver bracelet from Edward in the little tray and watched it go into the x-ray machine. Just as I stepped through the security gate, my eyes started to fill with tears. I turned to get one last hug and then I heard it.

"Hey, Swan, you big stud!"

_No...she's not. _

"That's me, honey."

_Et tu, Charlie?_

"Take me to bed or lose me forever."

_Ewwwwwwwwww_

"Show me the way home, honey."

I cringed and waved to them behind me, not willing or able to make eye contact. Suddenly I couldn't wait to get on that plane.

The flight to Seattle passed in a blur as I listened to all the music Edward had added to my ipod and documented the days events in my new journal. Well, most of the day's events. Some of them I wanted to keep private. We had about an hour and a half layover in Seattle before the flight to JFK, so as soon as I got to the chairs by the gate, I pulled out my phone to text Edward and let him know what was going on.

_I'm in Seattle. Miss you already. ~B_

_I miss you too. 56 days to go. ~E_

_I'll be home before you know it ~B_

_I'll be here waiting ~E_

_I know. I need to go. They're boarding the flight to NY ~B_

_Call me when you get there. ~E_

_Are you sure? It will be late. ~B_

_I'm sure. ~E_

_K. I love you ~B_

_Love you too B ~E_

I sent a quick text to Angela telling her goodbye and an email to mom and dad because if they didn't answer right away, I didn't want to think about why. As it was, Top Gun was forever ruined for me.

"Here goes nothing," I said to nobody in particular. I grabbed my bag, handed my boarding pass to the ticket agent standing at the gate and took one more long look out to the Washington night sky before taking a deep breath and boarding the plane. I was on my way.

Thankfully, I was able to sleep for most of the flight across the country. I was a little worried at first because the woman in the seat beside me started to show me pictures of her cats and tell me all about her grandchildren, but once the pilot started with all the safety precautions she stopped talking and I took the opportunity to put on my headphones, pull out a book and pretend to read. She got the hint soon enough and eventually fell asleep herself. All in all, I was lucky that I didn't end up stuck beside some guy with onion breath and jock itch.

It was about 2 in the morning Forks time when we got to JFK, and I hated to wake Edward, but I promised I'd call. I needed to call and hear his voice because who knew when I'd hear it again. There was no doubt in my mind that we'd talk while I was gone, but I didn't want to smother him and the time difference didn't help matters. When he answered the phonehis voice was all sleepy and husky, which made my stomach do somersaults with need. I couldn't wait until I could experience that voice in person and I didn't waste the opportunity to let him know.

As I was talking to him, my eyes noticed the strangest thing I had ever seen. There was a girl, who looked about my age, walking down the concourse texting, while holding what looked like a book that was titled 'The Joy of Chickens' under her arm and one of those invisible dog leashes in her other hand. Before I could figure out if she was some sort of ad lib character actor, or if someone in this airport was being punked, she sat down in a chair and pulled a packet of information out of her bag that looked suspiciously like the one I had in my own bag.

For whatever reason, I was drawn to her, so of course I did the only logical thing, I said my tearful goodbye to Edward, turned off my phone before I could call him back again, and walked over to introduce myself.

"Excuse me," I said, sitting down in the empty seat beside her. "Are you part of the Summer Exchange program heading to London tonight?" I looked out the window and saw that the sun was starting to rise on the horizon. "Well, I guess this morning?"

She looked up at me and stared blankly for a good minute before answering, "Me?"

I looked around because we were the only two people in this particular section of seats, so I thought I was pretty obvious that I meant her, but I went along with it. "Yes, you. I'm Bella." I held out my hand and I'll be damned if she didn't hand me the leash.

"Thanks," she said. "I'm Nettie. Do you mind helping me with Magoo? I wasn't sure how I was going to manage to get on the plane with everything I have to carry." She honestly looked relieved and I did a double take to make sure there really wasn't a dog attached to the leash. From there the conversation flowed smoothly and when they called for boarding, I did what I had to and carried that gaudy pink leash onto the plane, ignoring the confused looks of the flight attendants and making sure that 'Magoo' was safely stowed under Nettie's seat before finding my own seat two rows back.

The flight from JFK to Heathrow was uneventful and when we met up with the other students in the program at the Exchange headquarters later that day, it turned out that Nettie the enigma was also my roommate and she was a godsend.

Im not going to lie, the first few days were tough. I went to my classes and enjoyed them for the most part, but I spent all my downtime writing in my journal, emailing Edward or looking for him on chat. I answered emails from my parents and from Angela, but didn't really initiate any communication with them, because it was just too hard, especially at night which is when I found myself missing my family and Edward the most.

I did make a concerted effort to keep myself busy when I could. I took advantage of sightseeing trips within the program and went to see some amazing theatrical performances. I took part in extra curricular classes, seminars and got to know the other students. My heart just wasn't truly in it and I was starting to get frustrated because I knew I was wasting the opportunity that I had worked so hard for in the first place. So again, Nettie was a godsend.

I don't know quite how she did it, but she managed to bring enough stuff from home to actually decorate our dorm room. It looked oddly enough like the inside of the genie bottle from I Dream of Jeannie. How the hell did she pack all those pillows in two bags? Anyway, it didn't take long for me to figure out that while Nettie was academically brilliant, she had absolutely no common sense. At all. None. Still, she made me smile constantly...when I wasn't having to teach her how to get down from the top bunk in our room or remind her that she had on two different shoes. However that was just part of her charm. She was quirky and fun and weird and I envied her 'lassiez les bon temps roullez' attitude. We got lost on campus and found ourselves in the most random situations, but when I was with her, it was okay. She was like my own personal Monana and kept my mind off the hard stuff, or at least she tried. Most of her efforts went unrewarded until the afternoon, two weeks into the program, whe she walked into our room with a plastic bag from a local drug store and changed everything.

_"Random fact of the day: In Bali, men believed a woman would fall in love if her suitor fed her a certain kind of leaf incised with the image of a god who sported a very large penis. Now come over here. You need purple highlights."_

_I stared at her, my mouth agape as this whirling dervish of a girl came in the room and just took over. She was wearing jean shorts and a Jessie and the Rippers t-shirt and some knee socks with toes. Very typical. "Nettie, I..."_

_"Bella just stop. I've given you two weeks to get yourself straight and I swear, if I hear one more muffled sob in the middle of the night or see you log on to your computer at __4__:30 in the morning just to see if your boyfriend is online, because yes, I saw you do it, I__'__m going to scream. I see you during the day and you're alive__, but a__t night it's like you die a little. You're missing out on everything and I can't let that happen anymore. Have fun. All the cool kids are doing it." _

_Before I could come up with a reason to protest, she grabbed my hand, pulled me out of my chair and away from my laptop where I was hoping Edward would log on even though I knew it was 4 in the morning in Washingto__n. She__ shoved my face towards the bottom of the sink in our room and went to work__,__ only leaving my side once to turn queue up her massive list of They Might Be Giants songs on her i__T__unes. I had to give her credit, the girl had mad style. _

_An hour later, I had purple streaks and she had also managed to convnce me to get my belly button pierced, though it wasn't her first choice. I was scared of her __second__ choice__,__ though I did say I would prefer to have it hidden. I guess I wasn't specific enough about my hard limits. Her third choice was thankfully in the middle...literally and figuratively. Two days later it was done and I haven't looked back since._

I couldn't wait to get online with Edward and let him know what had happened over the past few days. I could tell he was worried about me, not so much because I let him know that I was so miserable without him, but he knew me so well and I could see my own heartfail reflected in his words and in his eyes the few times we'd managed to be online at the same time. Which was exactly twice. I was going to try my damnedest to find him tonight though. We both needed it.

Before I could log on however, Nettie burst through the door and I knew just from the look on her face that she had something up her sleeve. "Bella! We're going out tonight. There's an open mic night down at Hope and Anchor tonight and Liam and Randall are performing. You can't say no."

I was actually pretty excited about the prospect of going because I'd heard the guys singing in their room down the hall and they actually sounded pretty good. Plus, it was Friday and it would be nice to get out for a bit and unwind. The professors had humored us long enough and had started to really buckle down on their course work. Technically the drinking age was 18, but we usually didnt have a problem getting a beer or two, which is all I wanted anyway. There would be no 'I'm On A Boat' repeat performances for me anytime soon. I was completely willing to leave the entertainment to somebody else. "Are Tia and Makenna going too?"

"Yeah, I think most of us are going. How soon can you be ready?"

"Well, I wanted to see if I could catch Edward online here in a bit. I know that he had to work today, so I'm pretty sure he's exhausted. He hasn't seen my hair and now that the swelling has gone down, I thought I'd show him the piercing too."

"Does Edward have a beard?" she asked as she started to put her hair in braids.

"Um...no...why?" I asked as I turned on my computer and waited for it to boot up.

"Because a man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex." She looked at me like I should have totally known that already, but I'd come to expect her random facts of knowledge. She would totally kick ass on Jeopardy one day, if only she could pass any sort of psychological testing. Hell, now I knew that 'sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick' is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. If anybody ever asked me, I was totally prepared. Though if Edward showed up online with a beard, I was totally going to freak the fuck out.

"Oh, and don't have cyber sex when I'm in the room, okay. I don't mind if you need me to leave. Just let me know first." I looked behind me to see if she was serious and almost choked on my tea. Yes, I was drinking tea. When in Rome and all that. During the few minutes I had turned my back to her, she had started to change her clothes and some how had gotten so tangled up in her shirts that she was in an improvised straight-jacket. I laughed and walked over to help her out of her fabric prison, patting her on the head when she was free. Sweet girl.

"I think you're safe for tonight, Net. We've only had sex once and honestly I can't imagine doing that with Edward. Not now anyway. I'd totally start laughing and ruin the moment."

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Bella. You're a total seductress. I know these things," she said with a wink.

"Don't you have to go walk Magoo before we all leave," I reminded her as I started to log on to chat. Holy shit. He was there!

"Put a sock on the door Bella, but not one of my pink knee socks with the hearts. I'm wearing those tonight."

"Of course you are Nettie. Of course you are. Listen, tell the others to give me about an hour and I'll be ready to go." She waved and walked out to figure out what the plans were. I turned back to my computer and clicked on Edward's user name. God I missed him so much.

**EPOV **

This sucked.

Plain and simple, there was no other way to say it; it sucked. Bella was gone, most likely half way to Sea-Tac by the time I got home. We had exchanged a quick text message or two before she left, but I already missed her. My mother was standing in the kitchen and came towards the door when I got there, but I simply waved her off and stalked up the stairs to my bedroom. I toed off my shoes and tossed myself onto the bed, staring at the ceiling and realized I felt empty.

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and typed a quick message to Bella letting her know that I missed her already, that I hoped she had a safe flight and asked her to call me from New York. She was supposed to be meeting several other students at JFK, but I was hopeful that she could find five minutes before she boarded to call me. I didn't even care if it was going to be 4 in the morning, I was already eager to hear her voice again.

When I tossed my phone onto my nightstand, I curled up onto my side, facing the window and began to recall the events of the day. I was still remorseful for having left her room the night before, but I really thought I wouldn't have gotten to her before she left. I was shocked to find her pulling away as I got there, and even more surprised when she admitted that she was in love with me too. None of this 'just like a friend' shit either. She was 'in love' with me.

Holy fuck… our first time was on her mother's fucking Toyota. What the hell was I thinking?

"Edward, are you alright?" my mother asked, stepping lightly into my room, practically scaring the shit out of me. I wiped the tears that had formed from my eyes and sat up anxiously. "She'll be back soon."

"She loves me," I said stoically as my mother's eyes grew wide in excitement and she sat down on my bed beside me.

"I knew it. Renee and I always said you two would end up together. We thought you might have figured it out sooner, but better late than never," she rambled on as I gave her a small smile. "What's wrong though? She loves you. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yeah… but she's gone. It hasn't even been that long since I saw her last and it's like half of me is missing," I declared as I ran my fingers through my hair and my mother regarded me with sympathy in her eyes. "Fuck, I'm so pathetic."

"First of all, watch your language. Secondly, you are not pathetic. You are in love, and if our phone bill happens to be a little high while your girlfriend is off in Europe, your father doesn't have to know," she stated cheerfully with a wink. "You'll talk to her before you know it, but it does you no good to mope and be upset. You've known this was coming for a week; you did what you could to show her that you loved her and it worked. Now focus on getting through the next eight weeks, talk to her as much as you can and focus on yourself. Bella is taking care of herself right now, so you should do the same."

"I know you are being logical, but right now, it's like I don't even care. Is it wrong I just wanna curl up in bed with a picture of her and hibernate for eight weeks?"

"Yes, because that would be pathetic and you are not a bear."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious mom."

"Edward, I'm giving you till tomorrow morning to sulk and mope about this, but tomorrow you need to focus on getting through your time apart like a man. You start your job on Monday, and things will be easier from then on. Now… are you hungry?"

"No."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Beer?"

"No."

"Then I'm fine."

My mother rose from the bed and headed towards my bedroom door, picking up some clothes from the floor in the process and tossed them into my hamper. "Why don't you spend the next little while cleaning your room? Maybe you could find the floor," she stated with a laugh as I watched her walk out the door and I laid back down on the bed, grabbing my cell phone and clutching it in my hand, hoping against hope that Bella would call me soon. Sure enough, before her flight left Seattle, she managed a few minutes to text me to let me know she was alright before she had to board.

Bella called pretty late that night, well early the next morning in New York City. She sounded sad and when she had to go because her flight was boarding, I swore I even heard her sniffle on the other end. I really hoped she wasn't crying about our situation, so I reassured her that I loved her and would be waiting with open arms when she got back. She sounded somewhat at ease when we got off the phone, but I think I was reassuring myself more than her with my final comments.

I slept like shit that night, and again for the next two weeks after that. I threw myself into my work, which was mundane and involved doing some general gardening work for the Town of Forks. However, it wasn't that easy to mow a lawn when it was fricking raining, so the work was sporadic. I ended up working with two really cool guys named Benjamin and Max, both of whom were older than me by a few years and were home from college for the summer. When we were done mowing, trimming and making the town look pretty each day, we usually went to the diner for drinks and to shoot the shit.

Max was a student at Purdue University for mechanical engineering and Benjamin was going to the University of Portland in Oregon, with actual plans of going into landscape architecture, so for him this job was like a paid internship. Both guys were single, and simply scoffed at the fact that I was going through a long distance relationship, but when I showed them a picture of Bella that I found on my phone from a few days before graduation, they simply patted me on my back for landing a girl who was so good looking. I felt somewhat smug, but then I went back to missing Bella.

Even though spending time with Max, Benjamin and even Emmett, who was working down at Target in Port Angeles for the summer as a stock boy, would take my mind off of Bella for a little bit, but she was always my foremost thought morning, noon and night. We talked on the phone as much as we could, but it wasn't as much as I would have liked. She emailed me everyday though, and thanks to the time difference, I usually got them when I got home from work. Sometimes I was even lucky enough to find her online, like on her third Friday in Europe, when I was feeling particularly lonely without her by my side and I had gotten off work at lunch time because the rain wouldn't let up.

_TheBigE.C.: Hey Beautiful_

I was really hoping against hope that she was actually on gchat and hadn't disappeared on me. There had been way too many times in the past three weeks that she has fallen asleep on the computer and I didn't get a chance to say goodnight. I hated those nights, even though I understood how tired she was. On days where we actually worked our entire shifts, I would usually pass out and have dreams that all involved my beautiful Bella.

_BrassBells: OMG. I am so happy to see you._

_TheBigE.C.: Well, you aren't technically seeing me? Did you want to switch to your webcam?_

_BrassBells:_ _Not the best idea there Romeo. Nettie just walked across the hall for a minute, but she'll be right back._

My dick instantly deflated because for the past few weeks, I had been trying to get Bella to get on her webcam. I mean, it was already installed in the damn computer; she just had to hit a button so I could see her in real time. However, all I usually ended up getting was photos of her via email or on her Facebook account. I needed something more.

_TheBigE.C.: Baby, I'm not asking you to get naked or anything, although that would be fucking spectacular. Just give me a smile. Please?_

_BrassBells:_ _No nudity? Where is the fun in that?_

_TheBigE.C.: I know, that is what I am saying!!_

_BrassBells:_ _Well, I guess it would be nice if I could see you. Are you decent, cause Nettie will see you if she looks__, cause she just walked back in._

_TheBigE.C.: What do you think?_

_BrassBells:_ _Hmm… I think you are over there thinking very dirty thoughts and it's affecting your Yankee Doodle Dandy._

_TheBigE.C.: Are you talking about my dick?_

_BrassBells:_ _Uh huh_

_TheBigE.C.: Seriously?_

I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up from inside of me, and I began to miss her even more. With all her random sayings and awkwardness, it simply confirmed even more that she was made for me; my beautiful girlfriend who I was dying to see again.

_BrassBells: If I was there right now, I would sucker punch you in the gut Cullen__._

_TheBigE.C.:_ _Good thing you aren't here to see me laughing my ass off then_.

_BrassBells:_ _Ok… no cam. Maybe I should go to bed._

_TheBigE.C.:_ _Noooooooo. Please? Pretty please? I will move all your boxes into your new dorm room next month baby_.

_BrassBells: You'll do that anyways, cause I'll bat my eyelashes and flash you some side boob and you will be all over it._

_TheBigE.C.: Only side boob? I would have figured we were past the whole flashing each other accidently thing since I have had sex with you._

_BrassBells: Ok… I'm going to bed now._

_TheBigE.C.: No wait. Please? I've only seen you in photos for weeks Bella. Do you know how much that sucks? I just want to see you… I'm literally begging over here._

The conversation between us suddenly grew silent and Bella didn't respond. I had been too pushy, I knew it. She was frustrated with me because I couldn't keep it together while she was traipsing across Europe, making friends and seeing the sights. Instead, I was mowing the cities grass, trimming their hedges and moping about as I dreamed about my girlfriend. Suddenly I had a small message pop up in our chat box asking if I wanted to accept a web cam invitation from Bella. I jumped from my chair excitedly before I clicked 'yes'. I wished we had voice, but since I did manage to talk to her a few times a week, I wasn't as desperate for that connection with her. I invited her to view me and then I waited patiently for the video screen to pop up and fuck, if she didn't look as beautiful as she did the last time I saw her.

_TheBigE.C.: Jesus, you are beautiful. What's different?_

_BrassBells: Nettie helped me put purple streaks in my hair, do you like it?_

On the screen I watched as she flipped her hair casually, trying to get me to see her better and my hands reached up and touched the screen of their own volition. Maybe this web cam thing wasn't that good of an idea because now I ached to touch her, to run my fingers through her hair and hold her close to me.

_TheBigE.C.: I love it. I hope you are not rebelling too much over there__._

_BrassBells: I bet you are just dying to see what I got pierced._

I choked on the water I was attempting to drink and my mind began reeling.

_TheBigE.C.: You got something pierced?_

_BrassBells: Yup_

_TheBigE.C.: Show me_

I watched anxiously as Bella stood up and slowly lifted the hem of her t-shirt to reveal her taught stomach to me and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head as I saw the small heart charm dangling from her navel, with an emerald gem on it. It was cute and sexy all at the same time.

_BrassBells: Is it too much? Nettie was all about me getting something and suggested my nose, but I think Renee would have died on the spot if I came home with something that was visible. Don't you think?_

_TheBigE.C.: I think it's perfect and really… the only person who __will__ever see__ it is me. What's with the green? I would have thought you would have gone with something purple to match your hair._

_BrassBells: It reminds me of you?_

_TheBigE.C.: Oh, cause I mow grass right?_

_BrassBells: Cause of your eyes idiot. Have you been huffing gas at work during your downtimes?_

_TheBigE.C.: Smartass. I really like it though. I can't wait to run my tongue around it._

_BrassBells: Hey, watch what you say babe, Nettie is right there._

Bella suddenly turned around and pointed to her roommate and friend Nettie, who was sitting on the tiny bed behind her. Her long blonde hair was stick straight and it hung down past her shoulders. She had her face buried in a book and when Bella said something to her, Nettie looked up for a moment and waved happily before talking to Bella for the better part of five minutes, before she finally went back to her book and Bella began typing again.

_TheBigE.C.: Is everything okay?_

_BrassBells: She thinks you're hot. I was threatening her life if she came anywhere near you. I may have had to inform her that I waited almost eighteen years for you and that I wouldn't give up easily._

_TheBigE.C.: Don't worry baby, I only have eyes for you._

_BrassBells: Good answer. _


	11. Words

**A/N: And we're back. Thanks so much to the wonderful response we got last chapter. We promised this wouldn't be a long separation between E&B and we meant it. They will be back together before you know it.**

**So the good folks at the Fic Bridge decided today was beta appreciation day, so a huge super massive thanks to our beta MaggieMay14, who reads this shit every week and still likes us. Although I think she now likes Risbee better than CPW, since CPW fills her box four times weekly. **

**As per usual, we don't own Twilight; CPW does however have a newborn niece named Gabriella who was born yesterday and we both like other people's kids because we can give them back when they cry. Onto the show.**

**EPOV**

Three more weeks.

I had a calendar and was marking off each day with a big red X and today was no different. 21 days left. In twenty two days at this exact moment I would be driving to Port Angeles to pick up Bella from her flight. It took a lot of begging and me mowing their lawn several times this summer, but Renee and Charlie had finally relented and agreed to let me pick her up. I would have probably repainted their house by hand, with an artist's paintbrush, if that was what they wanted from me.

However, I think Renee just took pleasure in seeing me do manual labor for her daughter. She usually brought me out water or lemonade, striking up conversation with me about my conversations with Bella, but I didn't offer her much in the way of information. She was a persistent bugger and kept digging, especially for info about our relationship, but I always skirted the issue. The last thing I wanted to do was say something that Bella didn't want me to tell her mom. I kinda felt envious of Bella in those moments because she wasn't suffering through Renee's interrogations.

"Whatcha doing?" asked Alice as she strolled into the living room with her little friend Jasper trailing behind her. He was always such a happy go lucky kid who reminded me a bit of myself when I was younger, which immediately made me suspicious, especially considering how Bella and I turned out.

"I'm reading," I replied as I held up my battered copy of 'Catcher in the Rye' and she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Why aren't you doing something fun?"

"I could say the same thing to you. You guys should be outside enjoying your summer break," I advised them as they both looked towards the picture window in the living room and my eyes followed. It was raining, which certainly explained everything. Alice stood still in front of me restlessly, waiting expectantly for something but since I couldn't read her tiny little mind, I had no idea what the hell she was waiting for.

"Can I help you with something?"

"Ask him," urged Jasper as he nudged Alice a little bit and she looked at him with a half smile.

"Can we play your Xbox?" Jasper elbowed her gently again and I had to laugh because it was as though he was scared to talk to me or something. When I was younger, Charlie always intimidated me so I usually made Bella ask him everything. I immediately felt a little pang of remorse towards Jasper and decided to make it easier on him.

"Jazz, talk to me. What do you want bud?"

"Can we play Rock Band?" he asked nervously as I nodded my head and stood from the couch to deal with the loud pounding on the front door.

Ali and Jazz setup the system in the middle of the living room and when I opened the door, a grin spread across my face when I saw Emmett standing there, his shirt soaking wet and a huge ass smile on his face.

"Ooh Rock Band," he announced loudly as he walked through the door and didn't even wait to be allowed in.

"Nice to see you too Em," I laughed as Alice looked between him and Jasper awkwardly. Alice's usual response when Emmett came over was to run to him and jump on him excitedly, but whenever Jasper was around, she never moved. It made me laugh because although she crushed on Emmett, the older unattainable guy, she cared for Jasper and didn't want to hurt his feelings. It was really uncanny how much they reminded me so much of me and Bella; it was freaky. I reminded myself to talk to Jasper in a few years before he made the same mistakes I did. However right now… he was way to young to benefit from my wisdom.

"Can I get a shirt Edward?" he asked as he began up the stairs towards my room and stopped, which shocked me.

"I'm amazed you asked, but yeah, go get a shirt," I announced as Emmett disappeared up the stairs two at a time. "I'm gonna go get us some snacks. Emmett and I are joining the game and I call drums."

"I'm guitar," shouted Jasper as Alice followed suit shouting out that she would play bass, which left Emmett with vocals. Oh, this was certainly going to be an interesting afternoon.

I came back from the kitchen with two big bowls of chips, resting them on the coffee table before heading back to get each of us a can of Pepsi. When I stepped back into the living room, Emmett was clad in one of my t-shirts, the fabric stretched tight across his chest since he was a good size larger than me. "So, not to be a bad host man, but what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you about moving, but Rock Band with the kiddies is just a bonus," Emmett said with a laugh as he ruffled Jasper's hair, which caused Jazz to huff and get a bit angry. Alice reached up and helped him fix his hair as Emmett moved himself into the center of our small group and I took my seat to play drums. "So, my dad offered to rent us a moving van. We have to do the work, but he'll pay for it. I think he's trying to make up for the fact that he'll be gone on a business trip when we move. Do you think Carlisle would be willing to drive the truck?"

"I can certainly ask him," I said simply as Jazz narrowed his eyes at me because we were holding up the game. "Okay… we need a band name."

"The Country Blumpkins," laughed Emmett as I let out an embarrassed groan. "What… it's not like they know what it means."

"What's a blumpkin?" asked Jazz, now very interested in what Emmett was talking about.

"Something you will learn about when you are a lot older," declared Emmett as he took the controller and began moving the buttons around to write the band name.

"Um… you spelt country wrong," Alice corrected him as I looked at the screen and noticed that he had dropped the 'O'.

"No, I didn't," Emmett stated as he clicked the final button and I open mouthed stared at the screen that read 'The Cuntry Blumpkins'. I held in a laugh and hoped to god Alice and Jasper would never speak of this again, otherwise I was in a ton of shit from my parents.

We played through the first few songs, Emmett belting out 'Eye of the Tiger' like his life depended on it and it was actually nice to simply relax and forget about how much I was missing Bella. If she was with us at that moment, I knew she would be cheering us all on, particularly Alice and Jasper. Suddenly the music stopped in the room and I looked up from the drum set to find three pairs of eyes staring at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Dude, you stopped playing. What the hell? I even saved you once and you never even noticed," said Emmett who had switched with Alice after three songs and was now playing the bass.

"Oh, sorry guys," I stated, not realizing that my thinking about Bella had distracted me from the game. "Let's go again. What are we playing… Duran Duran right?" I said as I held up my drum sticks, showing them I was ready to go.

"If you don't want to play, you don't have to you know," Emmett said with a small pout as I smacked him in the arm with one of the sticks.

"It's fine. I was just thinking about Bella," I stated tentatively as Emmett reached over and patted me on the shoulder supportively.

"She'll be back soon man. It's almost over right?" I nodded my head quickly in response as Jasper and Alice ignored us and got into a conversation about some Nickelodeon TV show while they waited. "Well, then stop worrying. If you are worried about boning her, giving her the Edward Cullen special, just remember that you guys will be living far away from here soon enough. You can dip your pen in her ink all you want man." My eyes darted over to Alice, who thankfully was not paying attention.

"Dude, can you watch what you say around Alice and Jasper please? I will give you up as the person who spoke if Alice asks mom or dad what boning means."

"Fine… now get your head in the game. Jasper is kicking my ass. I had the lowest percentage last round cause I was busying trying to save your sad drumming ass." I laughed easily at Emmett and before I knew it, it was five o'clock in the afternoon and my parents were both coming in the house with pizza for all of us. I wasn't too hungry though because I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and when I looked, I had a text message from Bella.

_Phone me. Please. –B_

"I'm gonna go call Bella. Don't let Emmett eat all the pizza. In fact, to be on the safe side, send him home," I called out as I took the stairs as fast as I could, and shut my bedroom door tight behind me. I grabbed the main house phone and immediately started dialing the number she had given me a week ago for the hotel in Italy where they were staying. My heart was beating a mile a minute because I figured something was wrong. After all, it was two in the morning where she was.

"Wow, you were quick to call me," Bella said sweetly as I let out a deep breath and was glad that she sounded fine.

"I was shocked you texted me so late in the day. Is something wrong? It's very early in the morning for you," I questioned as Bella let out a small nervous laugh.

"I just missed you. Can't I make my boyfriend call me when I miss him?" she asked sweetly and my heart literally soared. Hearing how much she missed me brought back memories of our declarations on her mother's car almost five weeks ago. "Whatcha doing?"

"I was about to eat pizza with the family, plus Jasper and Emmett. It was raining here today, huge surprise, and we played Rock Band for a while. Emmett's no fun to play with by the way," I laughed as Bella joined in and I lay down on my bed to get more comfortable. Pizza could wait, but having time alone with Bella was rare these days. "Emmett's getting us a truck to move with."

"Yeah, when I get home I will have to finish packing. I did a bunch of it before I left, but not everything. Is it wrong if I just shove everything in a box and sort it out in Seattle?"

"I was thinking of doing the exact same thing. The less time I spend packing and the more time I spend with you the better."

"Renee told me I got my information today about residence. I'm in Mercer Hall, sixth floor and will be rooming with some girl named Siobhan," Bella informed me as I ran to my desk and sorted through my papers. I knew I had gotten something about residence the other day, but I hadn't paid much attention. When I finally found the piece of paper, I was more than relieved to discover we were in the same hall.

"I'm in Mercer too," I declared loudly and excitedly. "Third floor though. Emmett is my roommate, which is kinda nice. At least I know what I am dealing with."

"Hmmm… so I can just sneak down to your room and kick Em out every night," said Bella, her voice suddenly sounding deep and very different than before. "We need to get him a girlfriend so we can have your room to ourselves. I've missed you a lot."

"How much have you missed me?" I asked slowly, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"Edward… what are you wearing baby?"

Damn. I liked where this conversation was going now.

**BPOV**

I opened the front cover of my journal and crossed through another little white square of the tiny calendar I had pasted on the inside. Three weeks to go. Twenty-one days left. How had that happened? What had started out as a countdown of days until I returned to Forks had morphed into a countdown of days until I HAD to return to Forks. There weren't enough days. I wondered what it would take to convince Edward to move to...I laughed when I realized I had to stop and look around to try and remember where exactly we were. Oh, that's right...Venice. I loved Italy. Of course, I also loved England, France, Austria and every other country we've stayed in or traveled through on our whirlwind tour over the past week.

I started to flip through the pages to see if I could pinpoint when the change happened, but I really couldn't. There wasn't a signature event, class or lecture that kicked me in the ass, but at some point I had come alive. I learned who I was on the inside, what I liked and knew that I was meant to be international. Imagine that, little ol' Bella Swan from Forks, Washington could make it in the big bad world. I wondered if Edward would want to follow me on assignments when I was a world-renowned journalist for CNN. Oh, maybe National Geographic.

Just as I had started to daydream about my first 'Where In The World Is Bella Swan' itinerary, a dark shadow crossed my path and hovered over my journal. The sun had started to go down and light was at a premium anyway, so this intrusion did not make me happy. I turned to get rid of the nuisance, because that's right, I had developed a backbone, but when I saw who it was I just stopped and grinned.

Liam.

"Hey. Am I interrupting?" he asked and nodded towards my journal. I just shook my head and patted the space on the ground beside me.

"Not really. Just daydreaming and trying to remember everything that has happened so far. What's up?"

"Not much. I was just messin' around," he held up the acoustic guitar he was holding before continuing. "And saw you over here. Mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead. I'm just waiting on Nettie anyway, she mentioned something about espresso, tiramisu and finding George Clooney. Who knows. Though knowing her, she'll find him and finagle a dinner invitation. I don't put anything past her after she managed to smuggle an alpenhorn in her carry on luggage when she went with that group that went to Switzerland one weekend, remember?"

"You're honestly asking if I remember? Like I could ever forget being woken up one morning by Nettie and Randall recreating the Ricola commercials."

Then we both simultaneously belted out _'__Riiiiiiiiiiicola__' _and he started strumming on his guitar and humming some song to himself while I continued to look back through my entries. I did promise Edward I'd write down everything and so far I had done a pretty fantastic job. We stayed like that for an hour or so I guessed, until I started thinking about how it reminded me of the meadow and I started missing Edward. Well, missing him more than I usually did. I carried him around with me always, but suddenly I felt the need, the urge to get in touch with him.

"Liam...I need to go. If you see Net, will you let her know I went back to the room for something."

"Sure thing Bells. Tell Edward I said hi," he winked before turning back to his music and I gathered my things and started to head back to my room thinking there was no way in hell I was going to tell Edward anything. Not that I had anything to hide, but I could tell that Edward was not Liam's biggest fan. Anytime I had ever mentioned him in passing, Edward had gotten unnecessarily suspicious and it was too much to handle. I rolled my eyes a bit and started fiddling with my iPod, completely not paying any attention to my surroundings, when I heard something that sounded like a cross between a lawn mower and a dying robotic goose. Of course the horrific noise caught my attention and thankfully I looked up before I stepped into the path of Nettie...on a Vespa.

She was dressed up in some sort of full body protective suit that was way too big for her and made her look a little bit like the kid from A Christmas Story with all the padding. Seriously, how fast did they think she was going to go? Honestly, based on my past experiences with her, it was probably for the best. She stopped and straddled the Vespa with her feet firmly on the ground and then took her helmet off and tried to shake her hair out, but apparently forgot she had on braids because she whipped them around so fast that she smacked herself in the face. I couldn't stop the loud giggle that escaped my mouth and the look Nettie gave me let me know she was NOT happy with me. Still, it was not something that could have been helped.

"So how's George," I teased her after she parked and started walking with me.

"Eh, he had other plans so I signed us up for a cooking class at one of the 'ristorantes'. We're going to learn how to make something Italian and we get to eat it afterwards and you know they'll have wine. How much fun is this going to be?"

Well, that put my plans to email Edward on hold, but I couldn't say no to her enthusiasm. We got back to our room and I had time to take a quick shower and throw on some clean clothes before she grabbed my hand and yanked me out the door. Initially I only had a moment to wave a quick wave to Liam as we passed him on the way out but then I noticed Nettie had on two different shoes and I sent her back up to figure out which one she really and truly wanted to wear so I ended up having a few minutes to fill him in our plans after all and promised to let him know if they had another class tomorrow night, after he expressed an interest.

Twenty minutes later we were on our way. Don't ask me what took Nettie so long, because I learned long ago never to ask questions, but we eventually found our way back to this little hole in the wall pizza shop with mustard yellow walls and just a few tables with candles and the second I stepped foot inside it was like I was in a whole different culture. Well, I guess it was technically, but it was almost like stepping back in time. I also found out that we were not signed up for an official cooking class, but Nettie had met the owner while she was waiting at a gelato stand and here we were. The wine flowed freely and pizzas may have been tossed. All I knew is that I hadn't laughed like that in a long, long time. Still, Edward was always present in the back of my mind and the more wine I ingested, the more I let my guard down and the more I let myself miss him.

"I love Edward," I sighed out of the blue as I stared at the giant glass of Chianti in front of me. I could see the bulbous reflection of Nettie in the glass and couldn't help but snort when I watched her grab the wine bottle off the table and take a swig. "I also love Italy and I make fucking delicious pizza!" I grabbed another slice of the yummy goodness and bit into it even though I couldn't remember what was on this particular one, but it honestly didn't matter. It was still better than anything found at home.

Home. Three weeks. Less than that actually if you considered I needed basically a full day to travel. Home. Edward.

I glanced at my watch. Holy shit...it was almost two in the morning, which, if I did my math correctly, made it around dinnertime back at home. Surely Edward would be through with work and home by now. I glanced over at Nettie to make sure she was preoccupied with her new culinary buddies and when I saw elbow deep in more pizza dough I knew this was my chance and boy was I going to take it.

I not so discreetly grabbed the half empty bottle of wine and folded my jacket around it. Yeah, I was stealthy like that, but it was necessary because for what I intended to try, I definitely needed liquid courage.

The walk back to my room was an adventure to say the least. Who knew that lamp posts had the ability to move like that? Thankfully I only had to walk, um… stumble, a few buildings to get home, well not home, but yeah home, and as soon as I did, I picked up my phone and sent Edward a quick text hoping upon hope that he was available. I needed him.

_Phone me. Please. –B_

I put my phone on my bed and rushed around the room trying to get changed and settled, determined to not let my nerves get the best of me. When my phone chirped not two minutes later, I made a mental note to play the lottery. It was Edward and he was alone. Sort of. He was alone in his room anyway, the rest of the Cullen clan was downstairs eating dinner, eating pizza ironically enough. I took it as a sign that tonight would go off without a hitch. We talked a few minutes about dorm assignments and when Edward told me that he was going to be living just a few floors away I could barely contain myself. Yes, we had only had sex that one incredible time on my mom's car of all places, but I couldn't wait to be with him again. There was only so much I could do alone now that I knew what I was missing. Still, it was better than nothing and I could hear my girlie bits egging me on, so I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and jumped in with both feet.

"Edward… what are you wearing baby?"

The silence was deafening. Please God, please don't tell me he had me on speaker phone. There would be no way I'd ever be able to show my face around the Cullens ever again and I felt the humiliation start to spread across my body. Forget blushing, this was all out mortification. Just as I was about to shut off my phone and start looking into how to transfer from UW without having officially ever been a student, I heard some life on the other end of the line. "Edward?"

"Bella." He answered, his voice sounded a little bit lower than normal and I said I silent prayer that I did not, in fact, proposition a room full of people.

"I was worried there for a minute when you didn't answer and I was afraid that...well, nevermind." I grabbed the wine bottle and held it to my chest like a security blanket. I poured a sip or four into one of the little disposable Dixie cups we kept by our sink just in case I needed reinforcements. "You never answered me. What are you wearing baby?"

"Are we really going to try this again, Bella?" he asked. Okay, so maybe we had tried this before and my nerves got the best of me, but this time I was determined to follow through.

"I've got you on speakerphone because Nettie is gone, Im standing here in nothing but your old baseball jersey and I have wine. We can have fucking phone sex or I can hang up if you want me to Edward, it's up to you," I teased knowing full well he wanted to do this as much as I did. He hadn't exactly been subtle when we'd tried before.

"Don't you dare," he growled and the heat I felt across my body as it changed from humiliation to something totally different and much more welcome.

"Then for the last time - What. Are. You. Wearing?" I punctuated each sentence with a pause and closed my eyes as I tried to visualize his room and where he might be standing or what he might be doing. I could hear some shuffling around and smiled when I thought he might be getting on his bed or better yet, getting naked. In fact, I was so excited by the idea, that I dropped my phone, "Oh shit!" Then when I went to go pick it up, I kicked it under the bed. "Fuck my life. Sorry Edward, Im coming!"

I could hear him laughing already. This was so not going how I had hoped. In fact, when I finally crawled under the bed and grabbed the phone, I had given up hope, and the fucker was still laughing and going on about how 'that's what she said'.

"Fine, Edward. I guess I'll just play by myself," I huffed and then grinned when the laughter suddenly cut off like somebody had hit the mute button.

"Do you play by yourself often?" Annnnd he's back.

"Often enough. Usually after I've talked to you. Why? Don't you?" I countered back as I began to slowly ghost my fingers up and down my body causing me to shiver in response.

"After we've talked, after we've emailed. When I wake up in the morning. When I go to bed at night. When I wake up in the middle of the night after I've dreamed about you. So yeah, I'd say I do."

"Don't break it before I get home," I only half-kidded because that really seemed like an excessive amount but then I thought about how if he can do it that many times a day, then that meant _we_ could do it that many times a day if we wanted to, and I really, _really _wanted to. Especially now as my fingers slid into my panties and started circling my clit in slow, torturous circles that almost seemed to match the rhythm of his breathing, like he was directing me. "I miss it, you know. Now that I know how you feel inside me." I could hear his breathing start to pick up and I increased the speed of my own motions. I was feeling a little bit smug at this point knowing that even across the ocean and an entire continent apart I could still have this effect on him, though he could feel just as smug. This just bolstered my confidence and so I kept going. "Do you remember, Edward?"

"I remember," he whispered into the phone. "I can see you now Bella. You body moving beneath me, the way you feel around me. How warm and soft you were. How the rain glistened across your chest and your eyes as the darkened as I filled you. I loved how you respond to my touch. I want to touch you Bella. I want to touch, lick, taste and feel every inch of your body. I want to watch your face as you cum for me; with me. Three weeks baby."

He'd been counting the days too.

"I want that too. So badly. You can't even imagine how much" My thoughts went into overdrive as I could hear him moving and breathing and even though we both stopped talking, it was enough. "What are you doing baby?"

"Imagining you on top of me, my hands clutching your breasts as you ride me," he stated bluntly as I closed my eyes and let out a small moan. "I'm stroking my hard cock and thinking about you. How much I love you and how much I fucking need you."

"Oh god I need you too," I forced out through clenched teeth. While one hand continued between my legs, I brought my other up under my shirt, teasing and tugging at my nipples until I could feel every nerve in my body tightening and burning from my touch. I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my lips, though I didn't really try because it just felt so fucking good.

"You sound so fucking hot. What are you doing Bella? Where are your fingers?" he pleaded with me as my head lolled back and I spread my legs wide.

"Inside of me."

"Oh Christ… fuck yourself for me sweetheart… please?" Edward's voice was full of lust and something that sounded like sadness, but I couldn't find it in me to stop.

"Edward..." Before I could get anymore words out, my body exploded as I succumbed to the feeling, the emotions and the bliss. My body was literally quivering around my hand as I heard him on the other end of the line, grunting into the phone before his breathing started to even out. Ok, so maybe this wasn't the explicit, drawn out phone sex that I had wanted to try, that you read and heard about. But you know what, it was us. I was so not the dirty talker, but he made a valiant effort and my body appreciated him for it. Sorry Edward.

"What's so funny over there?" He sounded sleepy and I did a mental fistpump.

"Nothing. I'm just patting myself on the back for being so damn enticing."

"That you are. I can wait to try it again. Maybe get you a little bit drunker so you'll actually say cock instead of 'it'."

Busted. "Sorry...I just..."

He laughed gently. "Its okay lovie. We'll just have to keep practicing."

I squirmed under my covers because really, was there anybody in this world more perfect? "Edward, I love you."

"I love you too, Bella."

"I'm tired."

He chuckled, "You should be. Its almost three in the morning over there. Get some sleep beautiful."

"I love you."

"I know. You just told me. I love you too."

"Good night, Edward. See you in twenty days."

"Twenty days Bella."

I hung up the phone, closed my eyes and dreamed of green eyes.

**A/N: BTW, if you want a teaser for the next chapter, don't forget to check out Teaser Monday on The Fictionators tomorrow**


	12. Spirit

**A/N: Have we mentioned how much we love our awesome readers? Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews for the recent chapters. This chapter wasn't actually in our originally outline, so we hope you enjoy it regardless.**

**Huge thanks to our beta MaggieMay14 for tackling this beast. She makes everything work just a little bit better.**

**We don't own Twilight; but ****we ****both think you should run out and read Thicker than Water by twistedcoincidence****.**

**BPOV**

All my life I had heard the saying 'time flies when you're having fun.' Well, that saying is a crock of shit. I would have welcomed time flying because it _had_ to be slower than whatever it really did because it seemed like time just up and disappeared. It evaporated, vaporized, apparated. Poof. Seven and a half weeks of the most incredibly, awesometastic, fantabulous time of my life were gone before I could blink. So yeah, time flies...ha! I wished. If that were the case, I wouldn't be leaving in two days. I'd have at least another week.

I stared around the seemingly empty room that Nettie and I had shared for the past two months and it seemed so barren. Her seven, no… wait, nine mismatched pieces of luggage sat gathered by the foot of her bed. The two matching pieces she arrived with were completely overshadowed by various styles, colors and smells of the other pieces she had acquired from various thrift stores and who knows what other sources throughout our stay.

My favorite though had to be the pink and black puppy carrier she found for Magoo... her invisible dog. I couldn't help but start laughing as I thought about the day she bought it and how that poor street vendor would probably never be the same again. Very few things upset Nettie more than when somebody said Magoo wasn't real. The girl lived and breathed by The Velveteen Rabbit and she had such an epic view of life that you couldn't help but be sucked in by her and her enthusiasm was incredibly contagious. I looked over at the pink leash resting on the oversized pillow in the corner of the room and laughed. She had me believing, that was for sure.

My own two bags were packed and sitting on my bed, ready to go. I hadn't really bought many things while I was here; instead I focused on trying new things and traveling. Don't get me wrong, I did buy a few things to remember my experiences by and I had some gifts for friends back home and of course for Edward, but for the most part, all my souvenirs were on my camera and in my journal.

My journal! That's what I was forgetting. I grabbed it out of my carry-on bag and shoved it into the small overnight bag I had borrowed from one of the other students. There were only a few blank pages remaining, waiting for the next crazy adventure we were sure to stumble upon before we left for home. Every square inch of the earlier pages were covered with ramblings, memories and quotes that I would carry in my heart for the rest of my life.

There was no way to quantify all the things I had learned about culture, history and everything else, but the most important thing was that I had come alive. I was more self-assured and self-confident than I had ever been in my life. I had stepped out of the proverbial box and I'd be damned if I was ever going back in without a fight. Ok, so maybe that was a bit hyperbolic, but still... now that I knew what was out there to experience, I couldn't wait to get back home and see what UW and life back home had to offer.

"The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue." Nettie walked in the room with one of her crazy facts and coffee. God bless her, she had coffee. I grabbed one of the Styrofoam cups out of her outstretched hand and breathed in the appealing aroma. I needed the caffeine this morning, that's for sure. There were so many things I wanted to do before I left London and trying to cram them in, in the limited amount of time I had left didn't allow for much sleep. Then again, I could sleep in Forks.

"Is that why you spent three days with the pizza boy?" I asked her jokingly, but I was more than just a little curious. She never did tell me how her night went after I left her kneading dough and that was just wrong. I knew there had to be a story there and part of me was curious to know what happened between them, if anything.

"Bella, you talk in your sleep. A lot. Do you really want to start with me? Cause I probably know more about Edward than you want me too," she threatened with a smile. The girl could evade questioning like no other and I was very impressed and a little envious.

"Duly noted. So, oh sneaky one, what do you have planned for us? All I know is that you said we'd be gone overnight and that there was a chance somebody could end up arrested."

"Just trust me, Bella. Have I ever led you astray?" I stared at her pointedly. "Well… to the point where somebody got hurt? Would you have ever taught an impromptu clogging lesson to a bunch of French nuns if I hadn't convinced you to try? Have some faith cupcake. Gosh." She ended her tirade with a horrendous Napoleon Dynamite impression and that did it. I started laughing and I guffawed and snorted until I couldn't see straight, my belly hurt and tears streamed down my face.

"I'm gonna miss you Nettie."

"Jeez Bella. Holy downer. We have two entire days before we fly out of here. Do you have any idea what can be accomplished in two days...I'm not done yet." She grabbed a small bag she had stuffed under her bed, Magoo's leash and then walked out the door. "Are you coming with me?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Net-a-roni," I answered as I gathered my own things and followed, locking the door behind me. I glanced around it one more time knowing that the next time I was in here, it would only be to gather up my things and catch the bus back to Heathrow.

"Good. Oh and Bella, I'm going to miss you too." Nettie then jumped forward and wrapped her arms around me tightly in a bone crushing hug, catching me completely off guard. She then smacked me in the leg with her bag and in the head with Magoo's leash. I smiled half heartedly at her and when she turned away I was quick to rub the bump that was no doubt forming on my head.

I followed her downstairs, where we met up with Liam and Randall. The four of us had sort of melded into this unofficial foursome. Where one of us went, the other three usually followed or at least we all ended up at the same place eventually. While I'm not sure how or when our group evolved, we were basically inseparable and they were like my family. It was like 'The Bobbsey Twins go to Europe' ...except we weren't two sets of twins or related, but yeah... we did everything together. We all piled into a car that was waiting at the curb and we took off destined for the unknown, at least it was to me. I stared out the window and watched the scenery as we drove, fighting my heavy eyelids for as long as I could until I eventually lost the battle.

I don't know how long I slept, but it couldn't have been that long because even though my eyes were still closed, I could still feel the sun on my face. I pulled the covers up over my shoulder and tried to go back to sleep. Wait, covers? I opened my eyes and sat up I noticed I was holding Liam's jacket in my hands. I looked at him with confusion because I know I was sitting next to Nettie when we left our dorm and she had been the one driving the car, with me in the passenger seat.

"We stopped for Petrol," he started before I looked him and rolled my eyes.

"Gas. Liam. We stopped for gas. You're from Oregon."

"Fine, smartass. We stopped for gas when you were asleep and didn't want to wake you. Nettie was tired of you trying to grope her in your sleep, so I volunteered to take her place." He waggled his eyebrows at me and winked. I laughed uneasily but shrugged it off because I finally felt rested, relaxed and honestly the only thing I truly cared about was getting to wherever it was we were going. I never did like waiting.

"Shut up, Liam. You know Nettie would never refuse me. Would you Nettie? Nettie?" I wiggled around in my seat until I could see behind me where both Nettie and Randall were both sleeping. They looked so cute until she let out this noise that I guessed was a snore, but honestly sounded like - you know, I don't think there was a way to adequately describe what that sounded like. It was a little horrifying truthfully.

"Yeah, you started to wake up right after she made that noise the first time. She and Randall passed out in the backseat together about forty or so minutes ago. I've been the only one awake since then," he said. "As for refusing you Bella, like anybody could ever do that." Suddenly the atmosphere didn't feel so happy-go-lucky, it just felt awkward. Hmmmm, maybe I didn't hear him right or I misinterpreted what he said. When I looked at Liam again, part of me really wanted to ask him what exactly he meant, but then I decided to just let it go because we were all going our separate ways in a couple of days and really, why rock the boat now and potentially ruin what had been a truly wonderful time. So instead I handed him his jacket back, sat up straight in my seat and turned to look back out the window. Yeah, it was best just to let it go.

Eventually, I felt the car start to slow down and we turned on to a long winding gravel path that took us off the main road and into the woods. We drove and drove and drove until the trees finally cleared out and we pulled up in front of this huge massive stone castle. It was huge; like it almost didn't seem real it was so big. There were a few other groups milling around while we unloaded our bags and then Nettie disappeared, I guess to let the powers that be know we had arrived or something. I took the time to look around and that's when I saw it.

Haunted Castle Tours.

Hell to the fuck no!

"Nettie!!!!!" I screamed looking around for the one responsible for all this. No wonder she hightailed it out of there so fast. She knew I didn't like to be frightened. She most definitely knew it and I was sure that was why she didn't tell me what we were doing. "Did you two know what was going on tonight?" I asked Liam and Randall who suddenly found their shoes very interesting. Traitors. I grabbed my bag and went inside looking for my roommate. Lucy had some 'splainin' to do.

I found her by the reception desk and grabbed her braids, pulling her backwards towards the door. "What the hell, Net? Tell me this is not what I think it is. Tell me they have the wrong sign up outside and really we're going to spend the night learning how to crochet and about container gardening. Tell me what I want to hear or I swear to God, I'm trading Magoo in for a cat."

"You wouldn't," she hissed in fury.

"Oh you bet I would," I said through gritted teeth.

We stared at each other and I swear to God the western gun fight showdown music started to play in the background. I expected to see tumbleweeds at any minute. Finally, she cracked.

"Fine. Its fake, Bella." she said with resignation. "All this is put on by a local theater troupe. It's all fake; fake blood, fake ghosts and fake body parts. There are hidden cameras, sound systems and projectors...so yeah, way to kill my buzz there, Princess. Please, please don't tell the boys, kay?"

I felt the grin creep across my face as I thought of Liam and his creepiness in the car. "Baby," I said, "this may be the best idea you've had the entire time. Let's go get them." I hooked my arm through hers and we walked back outside to get our victims.

After we got all settled in our rooms and cleaned up from the trip, we met the boys for dinner in the main dining room. It was set up with various cooking stations set up with different types of food and drink available at each counter. There may have been haggis, though I wasn't positive because I didn't stop and look at it long enough to find out. Whatever it was looked almost gelatinous and while I had tried new things during my stay, I knew my limitations. When I saw Liam put some on his plate, I had to look away.

"Is that what I think it is?" Randall asked me in a whisper over my shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure it is." I said, still not able to look in that direction.

"Do you think he knows?"

"I don't think he does."

Randall chuckled to himself. "Excellent."

Needless to say, one bite of it and Liam ended up pushing his plate to the side and ended up only eating the rolls that were on our table. I did feel bad for him by the end of dinner and by the time we met up with the rest of the visitors, all the awkwardness from earlier in the car had been put aside. Who knows, maybe I misheard him when he made his comment about being unable to refuse me. Whatever, I wasn't going to dwell on it and let it ruin the rest of our trip and the little time the four of us had together.

After dinner, the lights were dimmed and we were broken up into groups and toured the 'haunted' parts of the castle. There was no other word to describe the night but epic. The boys cried as Nettie and I just watched and laughed. I will admit though, that even though I knew it was all staged and not at all real, I did manage to get scared a few times. Of course, Liam and Randall tried to play the macho protectors, but they were the ones that screamed like little girls when a knight, dressed in full armor, busted through the door wielding one of those scary ass giant sword looking things. After the tour, we all gathered back in the room where we ate dinner and all the 'ghosts' came in and introduced themselves.

"Did you know about this," Liam asked me as Nettie and I leaned against the wall and smiled innocently.

"Know what?" I asked grinning.

"You two are heartless, you know."

"We know," Nettie and I answered simultaneously before looking at each other and laughing hysterically.

We ended the night listening to some of the local ghost stories and visiting with each other, reliving some of the crazier adventures of our time together. I couldn't believe it was almost over. I felt my eyes start to fill with tears and I fought them back because I was determined not to cry and waste time feeling sad. There wasn't enough time left of this wonderful trip to spend it crying. So instead, I focused on the time we had left and promised to spend the rest of it living, loving and laughing. God, I almost sounded like I was dying, which I wasn't, but maybe it felt like part of me was.

Later that night, I pulled out my journal and started writing. I wrote and wrote until I had the events of the entire night covered. I even went back and filled in gaps from earlier nights and had pages and pages of quotes that may not mean anything to anybody else, but made me laugh my ass off. Then I went through my memory cards and my camera and wrote down which pictures corresponded with which pages in my journal. I was one crazy organized woman. I looked over and watched Nettie sleep, not because I was creepy like that, but because I wanted her to make that noise again like she did in the car on the way over so I could record it. I tried to describe it, but knew nobody would ever believe me without recorded evidence so I waited. And I waited. Anything to keep from sleeping because that meant I was wasting precious moments. Eventually though, I gave in and put my things away. When I reached for my purse, I noticed the light on my phone was flashing and realized that I had a missed text waiting for me.

It was from Edward. Oh my God. I hadn't emailed or chatted or talked to him all day. We had gone the entire eight weeks and hadn't missed a day and I had to fuck it up now. I didn't even realize it until I saw the message from him.

_I missed you today and hope you are having fun wherever you are. Two more days until you are in my arms again. I can't wait to see you. I love you so much. ~E_

Holy girlfriend fail.

How could I have forgotten to let him know what I was doing today? Well, aside from the fact that I didn't _know_ what we were doing until we were here. Still, I could have at least emailed him. Wow. I really felt bad about that, but you know what? Part of me was proud. I could stand on my own. I _did_ stand on my own. I loved Edward so much, but I didn't need to use him as a crutch. I was going to be able to go away to school and make it on my own. I knew that now. I was Bella. Hear me roar.

As an effort to show I was capable of not relying on Edward, I tossed my phone beside me and curled up on the bed, not responding to his text and knowing full well he would understand.

The next morning, we got back in our car and headed back to school. We had one last day. Twenty-four more hours together. I knew the boys still had to pack and there were a few more things I wanted to see so it was going to be a pretty busy day and that was more than fine by me. Keeping busy meant that we didn't have time for long drawn out goodbyes before we were all on our way home. See. I told you Nettie was brilliant.

**EPOV**

"You're not taking your Xbox with you to college are you?" asked Alice as she walked into my room and began looking around at the boxes I was trying desperately to pack. I had decided that it would be smart to try and pack as much stuff as I could before Bella got home so we could spend more time together, hopefully having sex, but I would settle for just watching her pack shit away or showing me slideshows of her trip. As long as I was with her, I would be more than happy.

"It's my Xbox Alice. So yeah, it's coming to school with me," I said with a sigh as my next comment was interrupted by Emmett barreling into my room.

"Hell yes it's coming with him. We're gonna be roommates and I need to do something while he studies," Emmett said with a laugh as he flopped down onto my bed and let out a small groan. "Eww, this wasn't where you and Bella had sex was it?" he questioned as Alice's eyes grew wide and I shooed her out of the room before shutting the door behind her.

"Do you have any tact or verbal filter?"

"Nope, not really. Is that going to be a problem all of a sudden cause you haven't cared for the past like fifteen years man," Emmett questioned as he sat up and patted the bed again. "This isn't where the magic happened right?"

"No alright. I didn't have sex with Bella in my bed. For the record, that was almost eight weeks ago, my sheets have been washed several times since then asshole," I replied tensely as I grabbed a few books about the history of movie making off of my shelf and shoved them into the nearest open box. I was a film buff, a connoisseur of sorts, and was beyond excited to finally do something more than film shit for Forks High School's video yearbook.

"So where did you do it? Her parents place? Their bed?" he questioned nosily as I just pretended that I hadn't heard anything he said. "Come on dude, I told you everything about that chick I banged at the party in the spring at UW. Hell, you know about every single chick I ever fucked actually."

"Yeah, and I'm not happy about that dude. It's not my fault you have a tendency to over share. I won't be telling you anything. By the way, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Some of the guys from school are getting together at the Diner because Mark is leaving tomorrow for California, lucky bastard. So you gonna come?" I looked at Emmett and decided that the packing could wait for a little bit longer, so I nodded my head slowly. "Good. Now come on, let's go. There may or may not be rumors about getting Mark wasted before he has to fly in the morning." Emmett enthusiastically jumped up from my bed and moved towards the door, waiting for me to follow.

As I headed down the stairs, I ran into my mom who was coming back from grocery shopping and let her know where I was going. She was excited of course, because if I wasn't at work, I was usually moping around in my room wishing Bella would call or email me. Sometimes I was even just spending time bothering Alice and Jasper, simply because they reminded me so much of Bella and myself as children, that it made me feel a little less lonely.

We drove in my car down to the diner and Emmett was literally bursting with excitement as we walked towards the front door. However, that good mood soured the moment the door opened and out walked Jessica and Lauren, looking as smug and whorish as ever.

"Hey Edward," said Jessica with way too much exuberance. She eyed me up and down slowly, clearly taking in the tan and more defined muscles that had formed over the summer from working outside. "You look good. Bella's absence is agreeing with you."

"I wish I could say the same about you Jessica. Now if you could excuse us, Emmett and I are meeting with some of the guys from school," I replied caustically as Jessica became emboldened by my uninterested response. Apparently to this girl no meant yes.

"We hear there's going to be a party tonight for Mark's farewell. Perhaps we can connect before Bella gets home. Without her here I'm sure you're more willing and able to talk to me right?" Emmett laughed loudly beside me as Lauren looked up at him in frustration for laughing at her best friend.

"We both know the last thing you want to do is talk to me Jess."

"You're right."

"I'm dating Bella now, so trust me when I say that it won't ever happen between us."

"You're dating her? That's laughable," Lauren added as I looked over at her and rolled my eyes. Who the hell was she to say anything about my relationship with Bella? "Did you guys finally man up after she left? If so, that's kinda pathetic Edward. Although it's a good sign for you Jess, because maybe Edward will realize he likes you the moment you move away for school."

Jessica narrowed her eyes at Lauren as I started laughing harder than ever before. "Yeah, don't hold your breath. That won't happen, ever." Some of our other friends began arriving and Lauren wandered off to say farewell to Mark as Jessica stood still and stared at me with conviction.

"Do you think she's just sitting around in Europe missing you? She's probably partying, drinking and enjoying herself every night with her friends. I'm sure there are even some guy friends," Jessica added as I groaned at her insinuations that Bella wasn't being honest with me about what she was doing in England. I knew that she told me everything that was going on. She always did. "You'll regret not being with me."

"No dude ever regrets not getting crabs," added Emmett with a quiet cough as I laughed again and Jessica stormed off in frustration.

"Just for the record, I'm not hitting that party tonight. Jess will probably slip a roofie into my drink or some shit like that," I explained to Emmett as he nodded his head in agreement. "Anyways, Bella and I are supposed to talk tonight on the phone. It's our last call before she flies home in a few days and I'm a wee bit eager to talk to her."

"Dude, I might even stay home tonight and start packing. I'm kinda scared of the shit that might go down at that party, and not in a good way," Emmett chuckled as we walked into the diner followed by some of our closest friends from school.

We spent the next few hours sitting around the diner, reminiscing and shooting the shit about nothing in particular. Emmett was all talk about the all the girls he planned to get with once we were at UW, but I just shook my head at him in disbelief. I'm sure he didn't realize that I had noticed, but he actually hadn't been with another girl since that chick he slept with at the party at UW late in the spring. I had been tempted over and over again to ask him about it, but I didn't want him to go into all the particulars of their one night stand, so I shut up.

Of course with my overactive imagination, I couldn't help but think that she had either ruined him for all other women or scarred him in some way. Maybe she was into some kinky shit that Emmett wasn't telling me about because he was embarrassed. As I watched Emmett explain to our friends the time he snorted milk out his nose all over the librarian on a dare, I realized that embarrassment aside, he would have told me.

After we spilt the bill between the eight of us, I drove Emmett back to his house and then went home, surprised by how late it was. Bella hadn't called or texted me yet, and needless to say when I got in the front door, it was the first thing I asked my mother.

"Sorry hon, she hasn't called yet. Did you eat or do you need me to make you something for dinner? We had liver." I turned my nose down at her mention of liver for dinner since it was something I seriously hated.

"Nah, I'm fine. We ate a bit at the diner and I'm not feeling overly hungry anyways," I replied, trying to sound as sweet and casual as possible. "I think I'm just gonna go upstairs and try to get a bit more packing done since Emmett interrupted it earlier."

"Okay hon. If you get hungry, let me know. I'm leaving at seven to meet Renee for our weekly book club. We've been reading 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood'." I looked at my mother like a deer caught in the headlights because I had no idea how all those words fit together. They didn't make sense.

"Thanks," I said with a quick wave as I headed up the stairs to my room. I turned on my iPod onto one of the playlists I had made for Bella and sat down on the floor, opening a box and sorting through its contents before getting up and walking around the room, adding more. I didn't want to pack everything to take with me, since I would be coming home every now and again and I wanted the room to still feel like mine.

Before I got too far into my packing, I decided to send Bella a quick message to let her know I was thinking about her.

_I missed you today and hope you are having fun wherever you are. Two more days until you are in my arms again. I can't wait to see you. I love you so much. ~E_

A few hours later, my room still felt like home, but was a hell of a lot less cluttered. I even managed to gather a bag of clothes to give away to charity and another bag of garbage, which would impress my mother when she got home. When I looked over at the clock, I was surprised to see it was already nine o'clock at night. This meant it was five in the morning in London. Hmm…

I grabbed my cell phone and looked at it again. Nope, no calls or texts from Bella. I then jumped on my laptop and checked my email. There was nothing there either. My mind began recalling the ideas Jessica had put in my head earlier in the day about Bella not missing me as much as I missed her. I tried not to let the thoughts consume my mind and packed some more, hoping that I would get some sort of contact from Bella before I went to bed, but nothing came.

It was the most restless night's sleep I had since Bella left for Europe eight weeks ago.

**A/N: Have you guys been over to P.I.C's Fan Fic Corner lately? picffcorner (dot) blogspot (dot) com is the link and they have revamped the site and have some really great interviews and recommendations this week including WriteonTime, Gondolier and 22blue, with a whole bunch more wonderful authors to be featured soon.**

**If you haven't had a chance yet, head on over to the indie twific awards where our friend, flightlessbird11, has been nominated for best complete AH, for her story 'Someone to Watch Over Me' Go Vote Ladies! theindietwificawards(dot)com . Voting for the final round opens March 25****th****!**


	13. Connections

**A/N: Evening All! Can you believe we actually have nothing exciting to say tonight? We think you guys have been more than patient with us while Bella was off in Europe, so whattya say we reunite these two crazy kids alright?**

**We don't own Twilight; but we both own the Target 3 disc special edition of New Moon. However, CPW's (and our fabulous beta's MaggieMay14's) are currently on route from Risbee, who generously picked copies up for them. The Canadian editions of New Moon sucked on DVD.**

**BPOV**

It was simple really. If I didn't open my eyes, it was not morning and today wasn't here yet. If today wasn't here yet, then I did not have to get on a plane and leave London. I couldn't believe it was already over.

"Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors."

Oh my God, shut up! It was way too early to be handling the randomness this morning. I pulled the covers back up over my head and inched under my pillows hoping Nettie would take the hint because I was not ready to face the day.

"A chicken that just lost its head can run the length of a football field before dropping dead."

"I'm up. I'm up." I grumbled as I made a dramatic performance of getting out of my bed and stomping over to the small sink to brush my teeth and wash my face. "You've made your point, Nettie."

"Good morning to you too, Sunshine," Nettie said just a little too cheerfully for me. I watched as she flitted around the room like a hummingbird on crack. She acted like it was just a normal day for us and that we didn't have to face reality in just a few hours. I just didn't understand some people. Seriously Nettie, did you need to skip around the room? I let my bad mood fester and continued to avoid the inevitable until I saw Nettie throw away the box of purple hair dye. Oh no. That was mine.

"Stop."

"Bella, we really don't have time to add more. We need to leave in 45 minutes."

"I'm taking it with me," I said as I stomped over to the trash can and rescued it from its eventual home in a landfill. When I stood back up, I looked in the mirror at the fading streaks of purple in my hair. The fact that they were barely visible anymore now that I was returning to Forks was not wasted on me. At least my piercing was completely healed. I needed something constant to take back home with me. Something tangible and that wouldn't gradually fade, leaving me with just memories. Jeez, I was all about the symbolism today.

"They won't let you take that on the plane, you know." Nettie commented. "No liquids over four ounces, remember."

"I'll just put in my luggage then and not my carry on," I replied as I stuck my tongue out at her. Mature, I know, but I didn't feel like acting like a grown up right now. I felt like being petulant, pouty and stomping until somebody came in our room to let me know I could stay.

"Don't call me bitching when all your clothes are purple, Swan." she huffed. "Oh and the ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated."

What the ever living fuck? I looked back over at Nettie because while I was used to her random facts of knowledge, it was unusual for her to spout them off this frequently. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe she wasn't handling this as well as I thought she was; maybe this was hard on her too.

"Every year, you eat approximately 4 bugs in your sleep. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable'. The..."

"No more Nettie," I give up I said laughing and crying at the same time. "You're going to make my brain explode and I really don't feel like cleaning that up today, k?"

She nodded and when I looked closely, I noticed that her eyes were shining with unshed tears. No, Nettie was not allowed to cry. That was not something that I could handle today but apparently she never received that memo because soon her lips started to quiver and one tear ran down the right side of her face. I ran over to her and flung my arms around her and we just stood there and cried and laughed and talked about everything until we both had calmed down a bit.

"You know Bells, we probably do have enough time to put a few more streaks back in your hair if you really want them." Nettie reached up and ran her fingers through my hair, looking at me with a critical eye. I thought about it for a minute before deciding against it. I wasn't sure how Forks would take it, not that I really cared honestly, but it wasn't worth the hassle.

"It's ok Nettie, I think I need to leave it as it is right now. I don't want Charlie having a heart attack in the middle of the airport or to give Renee any reason to have the word streaking in her head. It's not worth the risk." I shuddered at the thought because I wouldn't put it past her to misconstrue the term streaking and start running around with no clothes on.

"They don't know? I mean, I know they don't know about your piercing because you're chicken shit like that, but you really hid your hair from them too? What about all the time you were online with them? They didn't see anything?"

"I pulled my hair back or wore hats. I just didn't feel like making a big deal out of something temporary," I said feeling a little guilty and ashamed, because there was never any reason for me to hide from my parents. They'd never given me any real reason to, but yet I did. "I think it's best if we introduce the 'new Bella' through baby steps."

"What about Edward," she teased.

Edward.

I looked at my watch and just barely stopped myself before I started jumping up and down. I was going to see Edward in twelve, no wait fourte...no nine. Oh fuck it. I was going to see Edward before the day was over. If I didn't know he was sleeping right now, I'd call him and talk to him, knowing that his voice would help me through this. I needed him like I needed air.

"We should probably get going. They're going to be here to get our luggage in a few minutes." There was a knock on the door and I looked at Nettie, "or they'll be here now." I opened the door to find a man with a cart and he looked more than a little scared at the amount of bags he had to load up and get downstairs. Poor fella.

Once our room was empty and our bags were gone, Nettie and I went to find Liam and Randall. We needed coffee and wanted breakfast, so who better to distract us from our emo-ness and pay for our food than the two of them? It was a no-brainer. Aside from walking in on Liam in nothing but a pair of boxers with big red hearts printed on them, our plan went off without a hitch. A little bit later, as I sat at the little sidewalk cafe with three people who I knew I'd never forget, I realized that while I may be leaving London, but London would never leave me.

Forty-five minutes later we found ourselves sitting on a bus with our passports, plane tickets and itineraries. We were really leaving. Nobody said much during the ride to Heathrow, but Nettie kept checking her phone and talking to Magoo. I tried to write in my journal, but the jostling and bumping of the ride didn't allow me to get much written so I eventually just gave up and watched the scenery as we passed by. Oh, and I did check to make sure that Nettie had on matching shoes. It was the least I could do. She did.

Even with Magoo and the Alpenhorn, we got through security in no time. There was a small delay when I beeped because of my piercing, but once I showed it to the scanner, they let me right through. I caught Liam looking as I held my shirt up, but one smack on the back of the head from Nettie ended that pretty fast.

"Does Edward know how lucky he is?" he asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm pretty sure he does, but if he doesn't, I can't wait to remind him, and you totally deserved that," I said, winking and nodding towards his head.

Once we were all though, we made our way over to a bunch of seats. Surprisingly enough, the airport was not that crowded and we were able to get some chairs together, though I ended up sitting on my bag and leaning up against the windows. Liam pulled out his guitar and started to play softly. Not loud enough to garner any attention, but still enough where we could all hear it and get lost in the music. It was nice and the perfect way to say goodbye.

Before I was ready, we got the boarding call for Flight 4583 to New York City. Somehow Nettie charmed the man sitting next to me into switching seats with her and as the plane started to taxi down the runway I grabbed her hand tightly and looked out the window.

"Being naked in a dream suggests exposure of self to others, vulnerability, or feeling ashamed. Alternatively, it can also represent a desire for freedom or being unencumbered." I looked at her and smiled. I'd just spent eight weeks in a dream and I was heading home to another. Really, life couldn't get much better.

I don't remember much about arriving in New York. I watched Nettie and Liam and Randall as they walked towards their next gate, promises of emails and phone calls to come. I looked on the monitor and found the gate for my flight to Seattle, but fortunately I didn't have far to go. Once I found it, I tried to call Edward just to let him know I was back on home soil but there was no answer. I called mom and dad to let them know my flights were all on schedule and found myself more than just a little curious that she didn't seem all that excited that I was coming home today. So I called Angela and it went straight to voicemail. Where was everybody?

I watched my phone like a hawk, looking for some sort of communication from somebody. Anybody. Hell, I was so desperate for communication from Forks that for a split second I considered calling Jessica.

_Oh dear lord, I've lost my mind. Time to put the phone away Bella before you do anything stupid. Can you even imagine trying to explain to Angela if you had gone through with it? That would not have been pretty._

So I put my phone away, surely somebody would be home when I got to Seattle. At least then we'd be in the same time zone. The flight to Seattle was easy and dull and by the time we landed I was so excited to see Edward that I was practically bouncing in my seat. I think the woman in the seat next to me was a little scared but I didn't care at all. I was home. Time to show Forks the new me.

Still no phone call from Edward, so I sent him a text. If he was busy, he was busy. I knew I'd see him when I got home. What I didn't expect was to get a phone call literally seconds after I hit the send button, a phone call that made everything seem right in the world.

"Hi baby."

**EPOV**

"What are you doing?"

"Pacing. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you are annoying me as I try to read," my father said sullenly as he had his newspaper propped up in his hands, rustling it in aggravation. "What has you so anxious?"

"Bella flies home today."

"Ah yes, the object of your affection."

"My girlfriend," I mumbled under my breath since I hadn't really shared the news with them yet. He waited for a response from me, but then my mom strolled in the room with her coffee, laughing animatedly at our exchange.

"So what time does Bella's flight get into Port Angeles?" my mother questioned as she sat on the sofa and curled her feet under her.

"I think she's supposed to be in around four thirty or so. Her parents are having a surprise party for her at six. You guys were invited right? I asked Renee to make sure you were included," I said, my voice sounding panicked because Renee had cornered me about the invite list a few days ago and the only people I could think to invite at the time were my parents.

"Edward, do I need to go fetch you a paper bag? Take a breath and relax. Yes, Renee called us and your father and I will be there promptly at 5:30 like Renee asked. I'm helping her with some food since she's kinda hopeless in that department. I've tried over thirty times to teach that woman to make seven layer Mexican dip and sometimes it's like I'm talking to a brick wall," my mother added with a laugh and I reminded myself to confirm before eating who made the dip.

"Yeah that's all well and good and all, but I am bored and anxious. It's only 10 in the morning. I have to wait until four thirty and it's killing me," I replied in dramatic fashion as I sat down on the couch and let out a loud huff.

"Get out of the house. Take Alice to a movie or go do something with Emmett that doesn't involve vandalism or any sort of debauchery," said my father, trying to be helpful. However, all he did was make my situation even worse because if there were people I didn't want to spend any time with today, it would be Alice and Emmett. The only person I wanted to see was Bella.

"Edward… maybe you can go over to the Swan's and help Renee decorate," my mother suggested with a grin as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Do I look like the type of guy who wants to spend his afternoon stringing crepe paper and blowing up balloons around the Swan's living room?"

"Um no. You look like the kind of guy who could desperately use a Xanax though," she replied as she playfully nudged my shoulder. I tried my best to ignore them, and when I looked at my father again, I noticed a big advertisement on the back page of his paper for American Airlines and highlighting their nonstop service to New York City.

If this had been a cartoon, a light bulb would have gone off over my head. I jumped from the couch and made a mad dash to my bedroom to check Bella's itinerary. She was leaving New York at noon eastern time, and was due to arrive in Seattle just after three. I glanced the clock on the bottom right of my screen and noticed it was 10:42 in the morning. If I got in the car and made decent time, I could be in Seattle in time to pick Bella up before she boarded the connecting flight to Port Angeles. I would get at least three hours of uninterrupted Bella time.

_Why the hell hadn't I thought of this earlier?_

I grabbed my cell phone off my dresser and took the stairs two at a time, going back into the living room. "I'm going out for a drive. I'll be back in time for the party," I shouted to my mother as I snagged my car keys off the console table by the front door and ran like the wind.

"This could totally backfire in your face Cullen," I said to myself as I hopped into the front seat of the car and latched my seat belt. I hadn't planned this out fully and was being spontaneous just so I could manage to see Bella sooner. I was certain it would be worth it though and I knew Bella would appreciate me going out of the way for her as well, now I just had to get there.

Almost two hours later while I was on the US-101 near Sequim Bay, I decided to call Emmett on my speaker phone and to have him check Bella's flight details. I gave him the details and after spending ten minutes helping him navigate the American Airlines website, he finally let me know that her flight was due in half an hour early. I thanked him over and over again before I hung up and turned on the music, pumping myself up to see her again.

Unfortunately for me, I hadn't planned this well at all because once I got onto the I-5 south heading towards Sea-Tac, I realized I had no idea where the hell I was going. Rather than deal with Emmett again, I did the only thing I could think of, short of calling my mother. I called Angela.

"Edward… well this is a nice surprise," Angela said with a hint of sarcasm. "Ben told me you were still alive, but I didn't believe him."

"Yeah, nice to talk to you too, Angela," I said hurriedly. "Listen, I need you to do me a huge favor." I listened as Angela let out a huge sigh and I suddenly wished I had thought to call her boyfriend Ben first.

"Hey Edward," I heard Ben call out in the background as I let out a groan. Well there goes plan B.

"Yeah so… can you look up what exit the Sea-Tac airport is for me?"

"What are you doing in Seattle, Edward?" she asked curiously, although I could tell that she already knew the answer. She just wanted me to spell it out for her. "Bella is coming home today. In a few hours actually. I don't think she would appreciate you being AWOL from his horrid surprise party that Renee is throwing for her."

"Angela… you know bloody well I wouldn't miss her party. You apparently seem to forget that I am picking her up today."

"From Port Angeles."

"Jesus woman, I'm going to Seattle to get her early. I miss her."

"Well shit, you should have just said that," she said with mock exasperation.

"Ben, can you smack your girlfriend for me?" I called out, hoping he could hear me.

"No can do good buddy, I was hoping to get laid before this party tonight," he called back as I heard Angela let out a playful giggle and I suddenly didn't want to know what the hell I had interrupted.

At my insistence, Angela quickly gave me directions into Sea-Tac and within twenty minutes, I was pulling into the parking lot and rushing into the terminal to find out the status of Bella's flight. It was still schedule to arrive half an hour early, so I grabbed myself a quick bite to eat and grabbed a rose from the florist in the terminal, before I found a seat to wait for her.

At just after two thirty, my cell phone buzzed with a text from Bella letting me know that she had arrived safely in Seattle. I hit her number on my phone and waited patiently for her to answer. I could only hope that she wouldn't be doing something that held her back from answering my call.

"Hi Baby," she said eagerly as a smile crossed my face, knowing she was just as excited as I was.

"Hi to you too. Listen, you have to go down to baggage claim. There's something waiting for you."

"Edward, if I leave this part of the airport I have to go through security again and I might be late to catch my flight to Port Angeles. I miss you. I don't want to be late," she said, her voice cracking in anxiousness. I could tell she wanted to do what I had asked, but she wanted to get home to me too.

"Bella… if you love me at all, you will go to baggage claim."

"If I miss my flight home, I will kill you Edward." Sure enough, I could hear Bella's feet shuffling through the phone as she mumbled to me about how big of a pain in the ass this was, how tired she was, and that she was likely to just punch me when she got home. I, however, was smiling from ear to ear and the moment I saw her come around the corner and towards baggage claim, it took everything in me not to run over to her.

"Look left," I said to her excitedly as I watched her head turn ever so slowly and her eyes grow big when she finally saw me.

Everything seemed to play out in slow motion as she picked up the pace and began running to me, dropping her bag onto the ground a few feet from me before she jumped up and wrapped her legs and arms around me. I tightened my hold onto her, my hands instinctively going to her ass to hold her up as she buried her face in the side of my neck. I held back a laugh as I heard her sniff me for a moment before grabbing a hold of my face and pulling back slightly, with me still struggling to hold her up. "What are you doing here?"

I leaned in and kissed her lips sweetly, reveling in finally being back together with her after eight of the longest weeks of my life. "I missed you so much. I was going crazy at home."

"What are you… how are you here?" Bella pulled my face back to hers and began kissing all over my face as she tightened the grip of her legs around my waist. I immediately hardened and wished we weren't in the middle of baggage claim at one of the busiest airports so that we could do something about my issue. "How… what… who the hell… I missed you."

"I missed you too baby. So fucking much," I stated firmly as I finally let her down to the ground, but I entwined her fingers into mine, unable to let her go. "I didn't think this out so well, because your luggage is surely on its way to Port Angeles and you are not getting on that flight."

"I don't care about the luggage. Can we go home?" Bella asked as she grabbed tighter on to my hand, picking up her carryon bags with her free hand and then pulled me toward the exit. I was more than happy to follow her lead and when we stepped outside into the warm summer air, I led her towards where my car was parked.

Our ride back to Forks was filled with various stories about her travels and the interesting people she had met. I may have gagged a little bit when she told me a story about haggis, but I urged Bella on, wanting to hear more about her travels. Plus, she wasn't objecting to the fact that my right hand was currently resting comfortably on her inner left thigh. That was definitely a bonus.

"So, what time does Renee's party start?" she asked curiously as we neared Discovery Bay, inching slowly closer to her house.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I stammered awkwardly as I my mind began to wonder if I was the one who slipped up about the party. I was certain I had been careful about the entire thing. It wasn't me, was it?

"My mother is predictable, albeit a little flighty. I'm sure there is a party in the works back in Forks and I would rather avoid it at all costs if possible. Let's turn off here," Bella said as she pointed to the next exit. I looked at her curiously, but she just batted her eye lashes and leaned towards me, her lips against my ear. "I think I would like to be alone with you a little bit longer, if you catch my drift."

I turned the steering wheel sharply, causing the car behind me to honk incessantly, but the smile that crossed my face as we pulled onto Highway 20 was worth it. Even more so when I felt Bella's hand move slowly across my thigh towards my straining cock. My body jerked involuntarily and I jumped up from my seat slightly, feeling her clench her hand around my jean clad length.

"There's a parking lot about two miles down the road on the left hand side, right beside Sunset Lake. Pull in there." I followed her instructions perfectly and the moment I put the car into park, Bella was unbuckling her seat belt and crawling across the console to sit in my lap. I may have been in heaven.

"This is a welcome surprise," I said as I leaned forward and kissed her lips sweetly. I reached up and ran my hands through her hair slowly, loving that she was with me again. "The streaks are coming out huh? They looked good baby."

"I may put them back in once we move to Seattle. I think Charlie might have a heart attack if he thought they were more than a passing fancy," she said with a small smile as she moved her hips against me, making my cock ache uncomfortably.

"So, show me the piercing," I said with a grin as Bella grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up slightly to show me the small dangling heart charm with the emerald green gem in the center. "That's really fucking hot. Feel free to pierce other parts of you too, if you want," I added with a wink as I ran my finger reverently around her belly button before reaching my other hand up and grabbing the back of her head, pulling her towards me for another kiss.

Our lips didn't separate from each other until I felt Bella moving above me and was a bit confused as to what the hell she was doing. When I pulled back, she was yanking her shirt over her head and tossing onto the passenger seat, leaving her in just her bra as she sat on my lap. Her hands then descended down my chest to my waist where she began fumbling with my belt.

"Umm… what are you doing?"

"Uh… I know it's been eight long lonely weeks, but I would think you would know what the hell I was doing. Did my trip cause you to have some sort of brain fart regarding sex?" she asked as she leaned down and latched her lips onto my neck, sucking in the most sensual way possible. I was getting all riled up, but we didn't have the time for this, even though I really wanted it. "Take your pants off, I wanna see it."

"Hold the phone," I said remorsefully as I stilled her hands reluctantly. "We have a party to be at in less than two hours and still have over an hour of driving left to go. Do you really want a quickie in the car with me?" Bella's eyes lit up excitedly, giving me my answer but I had visions over the last few weeks of actually getting her into a bed and making love to her. This wasn't how I saw this going down at all.

"The first time we had sex was on my mother's Toyota in the rain. Why are you now suddenly averse to doing it in your car? Have you ever thought of having sex with me in your car?" I tilted my head slightly and Bella resumed moving her hands along my belt, finally getting it undone and then she began working on my zipper as I felt her tongue lick my neck oh so slowly.

"Yes," I stammered, as my entire body was on fire for her.

"Good, now let's get to it. Pull it out and let me ride you, I can tell you are already hard for me," Bella stated firmly as I narrowed my eyes at her.

"It?"

"Yeah… you know what I mean… it."

"You can't say penis?"

"Too clinical. Did you want me to say vagina?" I shook my head because she was right, it just sounded off. I was more partial to the term pussy if I was being honest. "What would you prefer I said?"

"Anything other than it or penis. I don't think you should be afraid to use terms like cock or dick. You got your belly button pierced and traveled to Europe for eight weeks, but you can't say dick?" I questioned as Bella nodded her head in agreement.

"Fine then," she said as she moved her hands slowly under my shirt, making my skin goose bump from her touch. She then leaned forward and took my earlobe between her teeth. "Edward, can you please fuck me with your dick?"

Hearing the words uttered with such lust from completely annihilated my resolve and I was suddenly a fumbling idiot as I grabbed the condom from my wallet I had stashed there earlier in the week, hopeful that we would need it eventually, just not thinking that I would need it today. Bella lifted herself off of me a bit and tugged her pants down as I did the same and I had to admit, this was awkward as fuck, but god I wanted to be inside of her again. I stroked my cock slowly as her eyes darkened and she watched me intently. "I want to do that," she said sensually as my eyes grew wide and I felt her hand wrap gently around my length.

She pumped me nervously several times in a row as I moved my finger between her wet lips, tracing the outline of her clit before easing one finger inside of her wetness. We both groaned at the contact and I held back a laugh as Bella grabbed the condom from my hand and ripped open the package with her teeth in desperation.

"Now," she said as she handed it to me and I quickly rolled it down my eager cock. She repositioned herself above me, her knees looking very uncomfortable and pained in my opinion, as they rested on my arm rests. With a bit of trepidation, she held on tightly to my shoulders as I grabbed her by her waist and eased her down onto my cock.

It was fucking heaven being inside of her again. The moment she was completely lowered on me, I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her tightly to me, our foreheads resting against each other. "I love you," she uttered breathlessly and when I looked up, I noticed the tears forming in the corners of her eyes, which I was quick to wipe away.

"Those better be happy tears."

"I am so fucking happy," she said as she pressed her lips against mine, kissing me feverishly. Our bodies remained wrapped around each other and Bella sighed as she began lifting herself off of me slowly, before sinking back down in the most torturous way possible. After several minutes of her slow movements, I needed more and I grabbed her hips and began moving her at my pace as her hands gripped onto the back of my seat.

"Oh fuck… more," she panted loudly as I moved her faster, my hips thrusting up to meet her in perfect rhythm. I thought my eyes were deceiving me at first when I saw Bella drop one hand between us, but when she arched her back slightly, reclining back towards the steering wheel, I clearly saw her fingers rubbing her clit. I began to wonder if I could get her to do that simply so that I could watch when I felt myself ache even more. My release was imminent.

"Fuck, I need to come," I uttered uncontrollably as I pulsed within her heat, desperate for release.

"Yes Edward… fuck me," she began to repeat over and over again as she dug her fingers into my shoulders and shuddered above me, her own release claiming her. As she came down from her high, I followed seconds later, spilling inside of the condom and reveling in the feel of her finally with me again.

"So… I was thinking," I said a few minutes later as Bella kissed me sweetly before reaching over and grabbing her shirt to put it back on. "I think it's about time I took you on a real first date."


	14. Exposed

**CPW: So we have absolutely nothing important to mention in our AN this time around.**

**Risbee: We could thank our readers for being completely fucking awesome.**

**CPW: We could do that, because it's true. We have some of the best readers in the fandom.**

**Risbee: And to prove it, we offer up one hell of a funny chapter.**

**CPW: One person's definition of funny is different from another's. It's subjective.**

**Risbee: Shut it.**

**CPW: **Zips lips over dramatically** **

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight; we just like to have a little fun with Renee and Esme.**

**BPOV**

I'd never really thought about going on an actual date with Edward before because we'd always gone places and done things together anyways. It would be the same as it had always been, but different if that made any sense at all. I couldn't wait to hold his hand in public. _Wait, we'd already done that. _I couldn't wait to share desserts with him. _Wait, we'd done that too_. I couldn't wait to have sex with him, and then I looked over at our various states of undressed and chuckled a bit. Hmm, I was detecting a pattern.

Still, I couldn't wait to do those things as Edward's girlfriend, I thought as I rested my head on his shoulder and noticed the feel of his bare skin under my cheek. I realized that one of those things had already been crossed off my list and I wanted to do it again… right now. My super secret surprise party could wait forever as far as I was concerned. I started to trace my fingers along the waistband of his shorts, the tips of my fingers just skimming the underside and I couldn't help but notice how tan and defined he had become while I was gone and how much I liked it.

I closed my eyes and started to place small kisses on his shoulder. I started to shift up on my knees to get better access to his body when I felt two hands on my shoulders pushing me back into my seat. Um, that was not what I had planned.

"You're stalling, Bella," he said with a chuckle and a sly wink as he pulled back from me, but he couldn't hide the lust in his eyes or the not so subtle readjustment he had to make in his shorts.

"I don't know what you're talking about Edward," I said looking at the clock on the dashboard. "Stalling for what? If I'm not supposed to know about Renee's plans, how could I possibly be stalling? Huh? Besides, I can be very persuasive." I leaned back over and tried to start kissing him, but he cocked one eyebrow at me in that way that he thinks looks authoritative but really only makes him look like he has a disorder of some sort. "Okay, seriously, you have to stop doing that," I giggled. "You know it doesn't work on me anyway, so why do you do it?"

"'Cause I know it makes me irrezzzistable," he answered in a really, _really_ bad French accent. Such a dork!

"We have plenty of time, Edward and I don't feel like facing everybody and everything right now. How could you let her do this to me?" I asked knowing full well that once Renee got an idea in her head that there was nothing Edward could have done to stop her anyway. "I just want to go home and spend time with you. We can catch up and I can kiss on you some more." I batted my eyelashes flirtatiously. "Don't you find me irrezzzistable" I couldn't help but joke.

"You know I do Bella. I always have."

_I think I'll keep him forever._

"But we need to stop by the airport in Port Angeles to pick up your luggage before we get to your parents' house and we really can't be late. Regardless of how much I'd rather whisk you away and keep you all to myself, there are a bunch of people who are excited to see you and can't wait to hear all about your trip and everything."

"I don't need to get my bags today, Edward. We can get them tomorrow."

"We really should get them today Bella." He grabbed a few strands of my hair and started to coil it around his finger. The gesture was so sweet, intimate and completely endearing that suddenly I didn't care where we were, as long as I was with him. "I don't want anybody asking any questions and I can totally see your dad getting into 'Chief Swan' mode and calling the airport asking where your bags were. Then we'd have to explain everything and I just want to keep you and me to myself for a day or two. I don't want to share us with anybody just yet; I just got you back and haven't had a chance to enjoy the idea myself. Well, not in a way that wasn't long-distance anyway." He rested his forehead against mine and there was no way I could argue with his logic.

"So nobody knows about _'us' _then?" I asked with a smile on my face because honestly, I had been dreading that part of the reunion a little bit, especially with Renee and Esme.

I had hinted around a bit during our emails and chats, but never really said the words 'Edward and I are together' yet because it would have been unfair to make Edward deal with that on his own. They had to be gradually introduced to the idea, kind of like how you learn to ride a bike with training wheels. Except this was more for our safety then theirs and we could absolutely not make our big announcement in a crowded room of people. Not that I wanted to.

"Nope. I mean, mom and dad know that I love you," he said with a grin and I snuggled into him a bit more because I could never hear that enough. "But I never came out and said anything about us officially being a couple or anything like that. I'm pretty sure they know something's up though. I did mope around a bit more than I probably should have if I wanted to keep them off my back. You really didn't notice that every time you called or got online I was home?" He shrugged then mumbled something that sounded a bit like "_when_ you bothered to call," but I wasn't completely sure if I heard him right.

"What was that," I asked but he just shook his head and started kissing the palm of my hand and totally distracted me from trying to analyze his mumbles. "Oh baby, please don't tell me you stayed home and huddled in the corner pining away for me." I was only half-kidding because I would feel terrible if he had done that but part of me was a little bit smug that he missed me so much. Was that terribly wrong of me?

"No. I mean, I saw Emmett, hung out with the guys from work, and I managed to have some fun here and there, but it was definitely a quiet summer for me, that's for sure. I even started packing a little bit for UW."

"God, don't even talk to me about packing for school. I don't want to even think about having to do that yet. But I'm glad you did have some fun and I can't wait to hear what everybody did while I was gone." We fumbled around in the car for a few minutes as we attempted to get all our clothes back in the proper position, because lord knows if we didn't then Renee would definitely notice.

"Well, how about this? We'll go pick up your stuff in Port Angeles, and then head to your parents where you can pretend to be surprised beyond all belief. When everybody is gone and Charlie and Renee have had their fix we'll make our escape and pretend we're the only ones that matter."

_Yup, I'll definitely keep him._ "Aren't we?" I asked because as far as I was concerned, he was my life and my world.

"I think so," he whispered before placing a small kiss on my lips and buckling his seatbelt with a wink. He remembered.

The drive back to the airport in Port Angeles was filled with hand holding, soft touches and kisses on the back of my hand that totally melted my heart. We quickly fell right back into that easy going comfort level that we had before I left, not that I was worried about that, but still, it was nice to feel it again. I heard about his job, the time he spent with Emmett and also about Mark's going away dinner. I felt a little twinge of jealousy when he said that he ran into Jessica and Lauren, but then I remembered that he was here with me and not with either one of them, which proved that his actions spoke louder than words. So suck it. The only people that would pick Jessica up in Seattle would be her parents and maybe the CDC.

About halfway through the trip, I felt myself doze off and on, not wanting to waste a single second of alone time, but not really able to help it at the same time...the time change was really starting to catch up with me. Not that I knew what time it was anyway... or did I? I looked at my watch and the radio in the car and tried to figure out everything but it was just too much. I fought it as much as I could, but the second Edward started running his fingers through my hair, I was done for. His touch and the sound of his voice as he sang quietly along with the radio were just too much for me to overcome and I sank into a deep sleep.

Soft kisses. I'd woken up many times before, roused by bells in London, the sun moving across my face as I dozed in grass in an Italian meadow. I'd also woken to the smell of coffee and fresh pastries while in Paris, but nothing would ever top soft kisses from Edward. I kept my eyes closed as I tried to prolong the bliss, but I couldn't hold back the smile that crept across my face as he continued his path from my ear to my lips and back again. My heart broke a little bit when he realized I was awake and stopped. That was so wrong.

"Hey," I whispered. "Don't stop."

"We're a few blocks from your house. I figured I'd wake you here so you could get your bearings and not be so grumpy." His eyes were focused on the road as he navigated through the cars parked on the side of the road. Good lord, how many people did Renee invite?

"PLEASE tell me that there will not be this many people at my house?" I looked at Edward with a panic and then I realized what he said a moment ago. "I am NOT grumpy when I wake up," I said with a scowl and folded my arms across my chest.

"Oh, yeah, you're sure proving me wrong," he laughed. "Nice," he added staring down at my chest. I rolled my eyes and looked down to see that my current position of protest had pushed 'the girls' up and out. He was right though, they did look good.

"Remind me to start weaning you from Emmett as soon as possible," I said as I smacked his arm and readjusted my shirt. It was a good thing too because I noticed that my buttons were offset and that would not have been fun to explain. I started to fix them when I heard an amused cough beside me.

"Um, we really don't have time for that right now Bella. I mean, I know you want me, but you have got to learn how to control your urges woman."

"Oh my god. Seriously. You are so cut off from Em for the next 48 hours." We turned into my driveway and Edward cut off the car. "I love you," I whispered, though I'm not sure why since we were in the car alone and there was no way anybody could have heard my words.

"I love you too. Welcome home, Bella." He placed a toe curling kiss against my mouth and before I had a chance to recover he had exited the car and walked over to open my door. "Showtime."

Before I could even get out of the car I felt Edward being pulled away from me and the next thing I knew I was being lifted off of the ground and the world started to spin.

"Hey Angela," I squealed. I had forgotten how freakishly strong she was. Like seriously, one of those women of the WWE strong. "You can put me down now."

Once the world stopped spinning and I regained my balance, I looked over and saw so many smiling faces I was almost overwhelmed. Mom and Dad were beaming happily as they stood beside Esme, Carlisle, Angela, Ben, Emmett, Alice...

"Is that Jasper," I whispered to Edward because I didn't expect to see him, but yet he looked absolutely in place.

"Yup, they're inseparable these days. It's very familiar." He looked a little conflicted at the idea of his sister and a boy, so I made a mental note to put a stop to that if that was the case. It would be just a little bit hypocritical. "Go see everybody. I'll get your bags and meet you inside. Go on," he nudged me behind my knee making me stumble forward a bit and I could hear him chuckle to himself. "You'll be fine and I'll be right there in a few minutes. If you need a breather, just grab me and we'll go out back." With a sexy wink and another nudge, he was gone and I was surrounded by a smothering mob of people I loved.

When I finally got through the first round of hugs, squeezes, even more hugs and then finally through the front door, I couldn't believe that everything looked so put together. Realistically, I knew that Renee wasn't quite the disaster I made her out to be, but I honestly expected to find a wall half painted or a new project abandoned in the corner, maybe even a dog. That would have been awesome, by the way. So I had to give her credit for pulling it off because everything looked like it had survived without me. There were a few decorations and a 'welcome home' sign, but nothing too ostentatious. Hell, there was even music playing in the background. It was so organized and I was completely impressed, until I walked into the kitchen.

Bless her little misguided heart, she went with a theme.

All the little sandwiches had toothpicks topped with mini American flags stabbed through the middle. There was a replica Statue of Liberty in the middle of the table that looked suspiciously like a Ch...Ch...Ch...Chia Pet. Dessert bowls filled with blueberries and strawberries and topped with whipped cream. I wasn't quite sure what she was going for with the tray of Kraft Singles, but I guess she had them out in case people wanted to add them to their subs? Maybe?

"Its American cheese, Bella," Esme answered from behind the refrigerator door as if she could read my mind.

"Oh sweet lord," I had to laugh because really, how else could I react to that.

"She's one of a kind," Esme said as she walked past me and back in to the living room with everybody else. "I don't think the world could handle another."

"No, probably not." I laughed both in agreement and at the irony that Esme of all people was making that comment. _Hello, pot meet kettle._

I grabbed a plate from the counter and started to walk over to grab something to eat. I heard somebody clear their throat behind me. It was one of those throat clearings that wasn't really a throat clear as much as a 'I know you're keeping something from me and you better start talking before I cause a scene' throat clears. _Shit._

"So, Bella...how was the big reunion?" Angela questioned smugly.

"Big reunion?" I played dumb because I didn't know what she knew and I wasn't about to out anything if I could help it.

"Mhm. Edward called and asked for directions to the airport."

"Oh. Yeah. He offered to help Charlie and Renee out by picking me up. To give them more time to get all this arranged I guess." I started to ramble but she arched her eyebrow at me and I swear it tsk'd. That got me stumbling over my words and considering I was a wretched liar to begin with I was quickly finding myself in deep shit. I managed to concoct some story that bought me some time, but I knew she wouldn't relent.

I glanced into the living room where Edward was talking to Carlisle. I was hoping for some moral support, but instead I saw him talking to Carlisle in an over exaggerated effort to pretend like he didn't notice me, I guess in an attempt to throw off the dogs. Maybe? I loved the boy, but he would never win an Oscar, that was for sure. Well not for acting. I'm not discounting the directing Oscars though. I was almost relived when I saw Alice wander over to them. She kept trying to interrupt but Edward was ignoring her too. Finally, she started to tug on his sleeve to get his attention, but he kept talking as his sleeve grew longer and longer until she was almost sitting on the ground with his cuff in her hands.

That's when I saw it, and Angela did too. _Sonofabitch!_ Just as she was about to attack, Ben walked over and I pleaded with my eyes for her to keep quiet. Years of friendship allowed the silent communication to take place and I knew that I'd spend most of tomorrow filling her in. But for now, we were safe.

Once I had escaped that potential disaster, I strolled subtlety yet with purpose, over to Edward and hopped up on his back and flung my arms around his neck, covering up the massive hickey that was exposed when Alice pulled on his sleeve and shifted the neckline of his shirt. How Carlisle didn't see it was beyond me but thank God for small miracles. We were always joking around like this so nobody seemed to really give it a second thought that I was climbing on him. It was typical for us, which was nice.

"I think I left my purse in your car. I think you need to take me out there to get it."

"Why don't I just give you my ke..."

"Now, Edward. I'm starting to recognize the music Renee has playing right now and if we don't get your iPod from your car I'm not responsible for what our ears will be subjected to. Are you willing to take that risk Edward? Are you?"

Carlisle laughed and patted him on the back and me on the head as he walked past us. "Go on you two."

_Did he just wink?_

Hell, I didn't care. Edward hopped a little and shifted me up higher on his back and suddenly his hands were gripping the back of my thighs and all I could think about was how it felt to be wrapped around him. Holy hell it felt good, but there were way too many people around for me to adequately enjoy it. People needed to leave… and soon.

"Let's go get my purse." I squeezed him with my thighs and when he groaned I whispered, "I heard that," before taking a chance and placing a quick kiss on his earlobe.

"Just call me Mr. Ed," and he was off and galloping out the door as I shrieked at the sudden movement.

Once we were out the door and down the front steps he put me down and I grabbed his hand pulling him to the back porch. We never used the back door, so I didn't expect to see anyone out there. All that mattered at that very moment was that we were secluded, hidden from the prying eyes of our friends and family, and I couldn't wait another minute to kiss him. So I didn't. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back until he was against the side of the house, then I reached up, grabbed his hair and pulled him down until our mouths met and finally, _finally_ I felt like I was home. The kisses were gentle and urgent at the same time and said everything that we'd wanted to say but were unable because of the company. They were 'I love you' and 'I get it' and 'soon' and thousands of other wonderful promises.

He grounded me, I trusted him and he absorbed my frustration with everything he had when I didn't even know why I was really frustrated to begin with, beyond the fact that I was not ready for all this today. I missed London, wanted to be with Edward and it was so overwhelming to be home, yet I felt so completely loved by everybody that I almost felt guilty for having to escape even for a few minutes. I didn't know where to turn and who to talk to and even what time it was, but with Edward everything seemed right so I clung to him like my life depended on it.

Eventually, I let go and rested my head on his chest and I felt his arms go around me. Neither of us said anything and I knew we had to go back inside soon but I really didn't want to. Maybe tomorrow? Please? I felt him reach for my hand as a silent signal that he was ready to go, but I needed just one more kiss from him so I grabbed an empty flower pot from the corner and turned it upside down to stand on, bringing me up to his level because my neck was starting to ache and really I just wanted easier access.

The kiss was epic. I could feel our souls weaving around each other and I could hear the fireworks and hear the cracking in the air.

Cracking that seemed to come from beneath my feet.

_Oh shit._

I realized then that my bright idea wasn't so bright after all because with one final crack the terra cotta pot beneath my feet shattered, making me stumble and grab on to Edward to keep from totally busting my ass. Somehow our mouths stayed joined together throughout, but when I opened my eyes to see Edward staring right at me, I saw the blood drain out of his face and felt mine do the same. We were paralyzed and totally busted, because all I could hear inside the house was Renee's voice wondering what the noise was and then the silence that followed. Silence that spoke louder than any words at that moment.

I broke away from Edward and begged him, pleaded with him even. "Tell me she's not looking out window." He just stood there, not able to move. I put my hands on either side of his face and rested my forehead against his. "Tell me. Edward. Tell me that Renee is not. looking. out. the. window."

Crickets.

Then I heard it. Hell, all of Washington heard it.

"Esssssmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeee!!! "

So much for our little secret.

I finally regained composure enough to look inside and honestly, I couldn't help but smile as I watched the two of them hug and jump around in circles like they had just won the lottery. Renee grabbed the sides of her skirt and did a little jig and Esme did the robot and I wasn't completely convinced that they weren't drunk. Still, I didn't really care one way or the other and continued to watch their celebration as Edward wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Well, I guess they approve. Come on, let's go back inside."

**EPOV**

"No," Bella stammered embarrassingly. "Can you imagine what will happen when we go inside that house Edward?" I looked at Bella with sheer confusion on my face. So what? Our mothers had seen us kiss? It wasn't a big deal to me. If I wanted to get all particular about everything, they had also bathed us together, naked, when we were kids.

"Umm… we'll eat foods that make me feel patriotic while your Dad discusses Seahawk stats with me and Ben?"

"Worse. Those women who have been plotting to get us together since we were in the womb for Christ's sake, are probably sitting down plotting seating arrangements for our wedding, picking our china patterns and arguing over whether we should have jordan almonds or those tiny little chocolate bars as wedding favors."

"Well now you are just being over dramatic Bella. I'm sure things will be fine," I said as I turned her to face me and kissed her lips gently, a spark running through my entire body, reminding me how much I loved her.

Suddenly, the window above us opened all the way and there stood Renee and Esme, staring us down with huge grins on their faces. "Are you two lovebirds coming in any time soon?" Renee asked with a girlish giggle that made my skin crawl. Shit. Bella was right; this was not going to be good. "There's probably some things we need to discuss right?" Renee then winked at me and Bella clutched my hand tightly in hers, and by tightly I think she may have broken a finger or two.

"Umm, we're going to go for a walk. Yeah, a walk. It's such a lovely day, I would hate to waste it inside you know?" I said, my voice cracking and my entire demeanor completely flustered.

"Edward, it's almost dark."

"Sun is still shining for a few more minutes," I said as I narrowed my eyes at my mother, who was questioning me.

"Don't you two have something to announce to the party?" my mother asked sweetly, her smile unlike any I had ever seen grace her face before.

"Nope," Bella declared stoically. "We're going for a walk. You can announce that to the party for us. Oh, and don't announce anything else either. I know where you women live," Bella said, her voice dripping with frustration and the look on her face was on that was not to be messed with. Bella grabbed my hand tighter and began pulling me down her street, with no particular destination in mind.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," shouted out my mother as I wiped my free hand down my face in mortification.

"Edward," Renee shouted out loudly. "Wrap your meat if you are going to do a little of the ol' in n' out."

"Oh. My. God," Bella shouted out as she practically sprinted down the sidewalk and away from her house. I couldn't blame her though. I began to follow after her when I heard her shout out again.

"What Esme? We're too young and hot to be grandmothers." I began to run to catch up to Bella and I found her sitting on the curb about half a mile from her house. There were no signs of life around us as I sat down beside her and wrapped my arm over her shoulder supportively.

"That was umm…"

"That was completely fucking mortifying. The entire neighborhood heard my mother tell you to wear a condom when you fuck me," Bella said as she buried her head in her hands and leaned forward to rest them on her knees. I slowly ran my hand in gentle circles against her lower back, trying to soothe her as much as I could.

"Don't let our mother's lack of verbal filter ruin your welcome home baby," I said gently as she suddenly reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling her body against mine. I eased my arm around her waist and pulled her onto my lap. It wasn't the most comfortable position in the world, but I had to make her feel better about everything. "It could have been worse. Your father could have heard everything and chased after me with a gun."

"There's still that possibility Edward," she replied anxiously as I reached up to stroke her cheek lovingly.

"Yeah, I guess there is," I said nervously in reply. "If it helps, I'm sure Jasper is in there asking your mother what that all meant. I'd like to see her back track out of that one. He's an inquisitive little guy and questioned me one day for like an hour about what a blumpkin was."

"What did you tell him?" Bella asked as she wiped a few stray tears from her eyes and sat up slightly, her arms still tight around my neck.

"I told him it was a deformed pumpkin. I couldn't be honest with the kid. After all, he's only ten and seems to be the 'me' to Alice's little 'you'. They remind me so much of us that it's a little freaky."

"I think it's adorable."

"Yeah, you would," I said as I kissed her temple and we leaned our heads towards each other. "Anyways, I think we should focus on our goals. We have less than two weeks until moving day, so we can try our best to avoid our parents at all costs. We can do a day trip to Port Angeles, go out to La Push and surf…"

"You don't surf Edward."

"Okay, so I don't surf, but I'm not averse to seeing you lying on the beach in a teeny bikini," I said as I winked at Bella and she smacked my arm rather forcefully. "Well what do you want to do, since my suggestions clearly suck."

"I just wanna pack up my stuff and move to UW."

"Well let's just get in my Delorean and move ahead two weeks in time," I said jokingly as Bella eased her body around mine. I could tell she was no longer tense about the encounter with our parents; either that or she was doing a good job at hiding it.

"You don't understand it Edward. The freedom I had while in Europe without the prying eyes of Charlie and Renee was liberating. When we're at UW and you can come and go at all hours of the night, sneak into my room and sleep with me, you'll understand how I feel right now."

"I know baby," I said quietly as I nuzzled my head into her hair and we both turned after we heard the sound of tires squealing beside us. There stood Alice and Jasper with their bikes beneath them, looking at us with wide eyes.

"Girls have cooties," Jasper stated firmly. "You're big friend Emmett told me that."

"Actually, he told you that girls have boobies," Alice corrected him with a smile as Jasper looked at her as though she had spoken the worst word in the world by saying boobies. "Renee and Mom asked us to come and get you. Everyone in the house can't stop talking about you two kissing."

Bella groaned loudly as Alice continued to stare at me. "Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend now?" she questioned as I looked down at Bella who simply nodded her head at me.

"Yes Alice, Bella is my girlfriend."

"Good, it's about time. Jasper is my boyfriend."

"I am?" Jasper shrieked out loudly.

"Well yeah dummy. You are a boy and you are my friend. That makes you my boyfriend right?"

"I guess so," Jasper replied simply. "Is that how it works Edward?"

"Yup, that's exactly how it works buddy. Now head on back to Bella's house and tell everyone we will be there in a minute."

Alice and Jasper nodded their heads as they put their feet back on their pedals and rode back down the street to the Swan's house. "I think we should be heading back. It's starting to get darker and I'm sure your father has burned the hamburgers by now, don't you think?"

"He's good at that kind of shit. My burger better not be ruined."

"Well since he's probably trying to think up ways to castrate me, I'm sure his mind isn't on the barbecue babe," I replied as Bella stood up first, offering me her hand to pull me up. I wrapped my arm possessively around her waist as we walked back down her street to the house, where the party was still in full swing. When we walked up the front steps, we were surprised to find Angela and Ben walking out the front door, laughing their asses off.

"Leaving so soon?" Bella asked curiously as Angela looked between my arm, Bella's waist and then back up to our faces.

"Yeah well, all the fun I was planning to have at your expense was ruined with your mother's comment about Edward wrapping his meat," Angela said with a laugh as Bella smiled brightly and hugged her best friend closely. She whispered something into Angela's ear that I missed, but it made both the girls laugh cheerfully so I let it go.

"Sorry man, I kinda lost my appetite at the mention of your umm… package," Ben added as I punched him on the shoulder.

"Please don't tell me that the conversation in that house has only surrounded my umm… "

"Your dick?" Angela said boldly as we all looked at her with wide eyes. "What? Your mom and Renee were discussing penis euphemisms after you left. I thought that was kind of tame really. I could have called it a trouser snake, blow pop or my personal favorite… dickory smoked coal sausage."

"Oh sweet Jesus, Renee actually said that?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Actually, that was Esme's suggestion. I think they are all waiting inside to give you the third degree. As much as we want to stick around, Ben's parents are out tonight so we're gonna go play the ol' in n' out if you get my drift," Angela said with a wink as she giggled her way down the steps with Ben following close on her heels.

Bella and I took tentative steps into the house and surveyed everything closely. It was quiet; clearly the calm before the storm. Alice and Jasper were sitting in the living room watching some show on Nickelodeon while munching on potato chips and hot dogs. The further into the house we went, the louder the other voices became. We found both sets of parents in the backyard, sitting at the patio table and eating their dinners, while enjoying a few beers. Emmett was in the backyard munching on a burger while throwing horseshoes with Zafrina and Charlotte. When the hell did the Swan's get a horseshoe pit?

"It's about time you two came in," said Charlie genuinely as he looked at us with a nervous glance. My arm was still wrapped around Bella's waist and I could tell she didn't want me to me to move. "No time like the present huh?"

"For what?" Bella questioned stoically. "Did you burn the burgers by the way?"

"No, they're fine."

"Good."

"One of you must want to say something," I said to the mothers who were sitting beside each other, their heads practically touching as they whispered quietly. "An I told you so or something equally fitting?"

"I just want to know the truth. Are you two dating now?" asked Renee as she leaned back in her chair a bit more and took a sip of her beer.

"Yes," Bella replied boldly as I squeezed her closer to my side. "Edward is my boyfriend. Are you happy now?"

"Over the moon ecstatic. It's about time you guys figured it all out," she replied as she stood up and hugged both of us tightly. I couldn't help but wonder how many beers Renee had managed to have while we had been gone.

"So you guys aren't going to rub it in and gush about how you have known forever that we loved each other?" I asked quizzically as all four of them shook their heads in this freaky and completely unison way. Bella and I looked up at each other with surprise in our eyes. "This is like the Twilight Zone or something. Where are our parents?"

"It's your life Edward. We're not going to push you about anything, you deserve to find happiness in your own way and time," my father said simply as I nodded at him and smile genuinely.

"Just one word of advice," Charlie said with a straight face. "Knock my daughter up and I'm coming for you."

"Daddy," Bella shouted out as I literally cowered beside her.

"Charlie, that's not advice, that's a threat," Renee chastised him as he simply took a swig of his beer.

"Potato, Patatoe. Same shit."


	15. Thwarted

**Risbee: Shockingly, we have nothing exciting to say this time around.**

**CPW: Speak for yourself; I always have something to say.**

**Risbee: Of importance?**

**CPW: Actually, I was going to mention the Fandom Gives Back Auction happening in June and how I'm up for auction, but you are still wavering because you think no one will buy you.**

**Risbee: Thanks for calling me out.**

**CPW: No problem sweet cheeks. You should go in the auction, after all… I'm offering up one shots or outtakes which are original or from any one of my stories, so technically I would recruit you if someone asked for an outtake from ABM.**

**Risbee: *grumbles* Doesn't that count then?**

**CPW: Oh come on… its fun… all the other kids are doing it.**

**Risbee: If they all jumped off a cliff would you do it too?**

**CPW: Anywhoo… while I ignore the rantings of Risbee and try to convince her to put herself up on the block, I suggest you read this chapter. Its chock full of cute and fluffy times.**

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight; I do have an overbearing friend who won't leave me alone. I'm looking at you CPW.**

**EPOV **

"So are you ready for tonight?" I asked Bella over the phone, as I paced nervously around my bedroom, picking up clothes from my floor and tossing them into the hamper. I would definitely miss it when my mother stopped doing my laundry the following week when I finally headed off to college. Then again, maybe Bella and I could do our laundry at the same time, so we could spend more time together. I shelved that idea for the time being, not wanting to seem too clingy, and waited for Bella to speak.

"Am I ready? Not really. This first date stuff just seems confusing to me. I already know everything about you and we've had sex, so it just seems backwards, you know?" said Bella with a slight sigh. She was definitely nervous and was doing a piss poor job of hiding it from me.

"You don't know everything about me. What's my favorite movie?"

"Depends on the genre," she replied quickly as I smiled on the other end of the phone. She really did know me _that _well. "You love Seven Samurai by Kurosawa and I think you've seen that the most times, but you also have a weakness for Saving Private Ryan and Pulp Fiction, and I think both are over-rated. Don't even get me started on your borderline obsession for Spielberg. Maybe E.T. is your favorite. It did used to make you cry."

"Over-rated my ass and don't start about E.T. either. That movie made you cry like a bitch with a skinned knee."

"I did have a fucking skinned knee. You pushed me onto the sidewalk that afternoon before our mothers made us watch it. Don't make me reconsider this date thing, Cullen," she added defensively, emphasizing my last name with a growl.

"Says the girl who has seen The Notebook like seventy times and cried every single time."

"It's a sad movie Cullen. You can't sit on the other end of this phone and tell me you didn't tear up when Noah and Allie died in each other's arms. It was perfect, the way romance is supposed to be."

"You want to die in each other's arms?" I asked with a laugh as I heard Bella let out a huge huff of frustration. "See… the date tonight surely won't be as annoying as this phone call right?"

"Right. You're certainly less of a pain in the ass in person. Oh who am I kidding, you are always a pain in the ass."

"But I'm your pain in the ass, so that has to count for something right?"

"Yes you are. So… what time are you going to be here tonight? Renee is on the warpath and is salivating at the prospect of helping me get ready for my first official date with you." I could just picture Renee storming through Bella's closet on a mission to help her, but doing just the opposite. I could only hope that Renee didn't piss her off too much and effectively ruin the evening, since I had a few things planned and I didn't need Bella in a shitty mood. This was a major step for us, even if we were, as Bella had mentioned, doing things a little backwards.

"How about I pick you up at six? You have just over three hours to get ready. That should be enough time right? I don't know how this stuff works."

"Three hours is more than enough time for Renee to set Homer Simpson's make-up gun to 'whore' and spray paint me like a hooker. She was mumbling earlier about how blue eye shadow would bring out my eyes. I seriously thought about talking to Charlie about having her committed."

"No blue eye shadow. I like your eyes just the way they are baby," I replied genuinely. Bella really didn't need make-up and she barely used it anyways, so I hoped Renee didn't do something to make her uncomfortable.

We got off the phone a few minutes later, when I heard Angela walk into her room promising to turn her into a goddess. Not that I thought she needed help in that department. She could wear sweats and her hair could look like a bird's nest and I could honestly care less. I didn't care about any of that shit, though it certainly didn't hurt either.

Bella and I had spend the past week going through her photos from Europe and ordering prints for the photo albums and scrapbooks of her trip that she was determined to put together before we went off to college. Of course, during all of our time together we didn't focus all of our efforts on the things we needed to do, often finding ourselves being sidetracked by our need for one another. We were like two magnets and couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Sometimes when we were overwhelmed, we would go down to the living room, just so there was a parent nearby, and we could get a small break from our make-out sessions. It was getting ridiculous, but we had yet to have sex again since the parking lot on the way home from Seattle.

Another thing we had to focus on was the actual move to UW on the following weekend. I think I was more nervous about the actual move, having never spent too much time away from my parents, unlike Bella, who of course had thrived in the past eight weeks. We managed to pack a fair amount of our stuff, and I decided that it was best that we get the first date thing over with before we moved, and this led us to our plans for tonight.

Earlier in the week my mother had tried to help me plan something that was more romantic than friendly, and even though I didn't think I needed the help, she insisted on it. She even tried to get me to sit down with her to watch some chick flicks in order to help me get ideas, but I think she was just desperate to get some quality time with me. Her only son was going to be heading off on his own soon and she wasn't exactly coming to terms with it. I realized this on the morning of our date when she helped me make some chicken salad sandwiches for the picnic I had planned with Bella.

"You're not going to live on sandwiches or those cheap noodles when you are at school right?" she questioned as I watched her chop up the chicken we had just grilled so that it was bite sized.

"You and Dad made sure I had the meal plan through the school, remember. I'm sure I will eat just as healthy as I would here Mom," I replied simply as I quirked my eye brow at her.

"Oh yeah… right," she said as she looked down at the cutting board and the chicken. I was busy cutting up onions to go with the mixture, but she was the one using the back of her hand to wipe her tears away. "I had forgotten about that. I'm sure you will be fine."

"You'll be fine too," I said quietly as I moved to stand beside her. "I'm only going to be a phone call, text message or email away. I know you won't see me every day, but it won't be like I'm leaving forever, you know."

"I know," she whispered back in response as Alice walked in with Jasper following close behind her.

"You made Mom cry?" she asked with concern as Jasper went right to Alice's side.

"No honey, Edward didn't make me cry. I'm just worried about him going off to college."

"I'm excited for him to go, because when he comes back, he'll probably bring me gifts right?" Alice said excitedly as we both rolled our eyes at her. "When Bella came back from Europe, she brought me gifts."

"She brought you a teddy bear dressed like British policeman. I'm not traveling anywhere far, just Seattle."

"You could get her a Space Needle replica," Jasper chimed in as I narrowed my eyes at him for throwing fuel on the fire, so to speak.

"You could go home."

"Come on Jasper, let's go play Edward's Xbox before he packs it up for college," she said simply as she reached out and pulled Jasper behind her. They were really too precocious for their own good and I turned my head as I heard my mother giggling behind me.

"Was I that bad?" I asked, curious as to how much Jasper and I were alike.

"You were worse Edward. You and Bella followed each other around like lost puppies. If you did something, Bella had to do something. Hell, when I got pregnant with Alice, you tried to talk Renee into getting pregnant so that Alice would have a best friend just like you did."

"I did?" I said incredulously, completely caught off guard by her remarks.

"Yeah, you did. It was very sweet, although I think Charlie and Renee kept getting annoyed since you told them to call the stork to get them to deliver a baby every time you saw them. Bella was always encouraging you too. She wanted a little brother," my mother stated as she pushed all the chicken from the cutting board into the bowl with my cut onions.

"To be honest with you, I wanted a brother too," I said with a laugh as I nudged my mother gently in the shoulder with my own. "Don't worry about me leaving. Alice will keep you on your toes, as will Jasper, I'm sure. You'll never even get a chance to miss me since I'll be home so damn often."

I could only hope that my words of reassurance were good for my mother, but I guess I wouldn't really know the truth until I had actually left for school. We spent the next two hours comfortably talking about the move as she helped me finish off the chicken salad sandwiches, fresh fruit, vegetables and cheese & cracker selection that I wanted to bring with us. Nothing fancy, but I thought it was perfect for us and I knew that Bella loved my mother's chicken salad.

So with everything packed into my mother's favorite picnic basket, I drove over to the Swan's house with some rap music playing from my stereo as I tried to get myself psyched up. I was nervous that our first date wouldn't live up to Bella's expectations, even though all week she told me she had no expectations of what would happen. When I walked up to the front door, I wasn't overly surprised to have Renee open the door just as I was about to knock.

"Good Evening Edward," she said sweetly. A little too sweetly actually.

"Hi Mrs. Swan," I replied as I stood in the foyer nervously. I was fretting over using her formal name, but this was a first date, I was trying to give off a good impression now that I was dating their daughter, not just her best friend.

"Charlie's in the living room, why don't you go have a seat. I'm sure Bella will be down in a minute," she said as she motioned with her hand toward the living room. This was very surreal and I felt like I was transported into the Twilight Zone or something. After almost twenty years of knowing them, I don't think Renee had ever been so formal with me in my entire life. She let out a small laugh and then squeezed my shoulder supportively. "Oh and Edward… call me Renee. Just because you are dating Bella, it doesn't change anything."

I nodded my head in response and then took a seat on the couch, my eyes darting towards where Charlie sat in his favorite recliner watching a Mariners game. When a commercial came on, Charlie turned towards me and pressed his fingers together in front of him, stretching them aimlessly as he looked me over. Charlie did not look impressed.

"So, what are you intentions with my daughter?" he asked, catching me utterly off guard. In fact, I started choking on absolutely nothing as I heard the soft footfalls of Bella coming down the stairs.

"Dad, stop it. Don't scare him half to death," Bella chastised him as both Charlie and Renee broke into loud laughter.

"Oh Bella… it's no fun. We can't put the fear of god into your boyfriend because he already knows us. Edward probably wouldn't even have been affected if Charlie had been sitting here cleaning his gun," Renee chuckled as I looked down at Charlie anxiously. Fuck yes I would have been nervous, because my dick had been in their daughter and it desperately wanted to go back in there. Charlie would surely chase me down the street, waving his gun, for de-flowering his only child on his wife's car, so this was something I wasn't about to explain.

"Come on Edward, let's get out here before my father pretends to interview you about things he has no business knowing about," Bella added as she stared down her father and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the door. I told Renee briefly where we were going, so that they didn't worry, but I made sure Bella didn't hear me because I wanted it to be a bit of a surprise. When we stepped out of the house, Bella walking down the porch stairs in front of me, I finally got to see how beautiful she looked. Her hair was half up, curls cascading down her back and off of her face, showcasing her beautiful brown eyes, which I was immediately drawn to as she leaned against my car, waiting for me.

"Why are you so slow? Want to go back in there for an inquisition from Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?" she asked with a bright smile as I moved closer, my eyes taking in her light summer dress, which fit her perfectly, highlighting my favorite assets. It had a small tie around her waist and as I leaned in for a kiss, pressing against her, my fingers flirted with the tie slightly as I wished I could just untie it and get her out of her dress.

I shook my head from the thought and reminded myself that this was a first date, not our fortieth and we were standing outside of her parents home. I kissed her lightly on the lips before pulling away and opening the passenger side door for her. "Sorry, you've just taken my breath away."

"Flattery will get you everywhere Cullen," she replied as I closed the door behind her and practically sprinted to the other side to get in. I was really hoping that flattery would get me everywhere, though I wasn't exactly pining all my hopes on having sex tonight. After all, I was trying to give some semblance of being a gentleman on this date.

We drove in comfortable silence to the town square, where I found out they were playing a movie in the park. Sure, the movie was something Bella and I had seen twenty times, but I knew she would enjoy sitting out on a blanket, eating my mother's sandwiches and enjoying the night with me. When we arrived, Bella looked surprised to see that we were doing something so public, but I was relieved that she actually seemed pleased.

"They're showing movies in the park. They started doing it earlier in the summer and I thought it would be a good idea for us," I replied simply as I grabbed the basket and blanket from the back seat and then entwined Bella's hand in mine, pulling her towards the grassy area in the center of the square.

"What movie?" she asked simply as I pointed to an area of grass and she nodded her head slowly, apparently pleased with our location. I laid down the blanket and once it was perfect, Bella sat down, keeping her legs tucked in underneath her since she was wearing a dress.

"E.T."

"Shut up," Bella replied with a grin as I simply nodded my head and pulled two sodas out from the basket. "Isn't that a little ironic since we were just discussing it this afternoon?"

"I think it's a lot ironic actually," I said as I handed Bella her drink and noticed several other couples and some families coming to sit around us on the grass. It was a surprisingly big turnout for such a small town, but I was thankful that no other kids our age showed up. We ate our dinner in with easy conversation flowing between us and Bella leaning in to kiss me when she realized we were having my mother's chicken salad for dinner. Then we began gossiping happily about the townspeople and the bits and pieces we had heard from our mothers and Angela over the summer. Apparently, all of the good gossip came out of the local church, who would have known.

Just as Gertie was about to find E.T. in Elliott's room, the sky opened up and it began to pour. "Jesus Christ, they hadn't even been calling for rain today," I cursed as I shoved everything into the picnic basket, handing Bella the blanket to put over to her head to keep her as dry as possible as we ran, hand in hand, back to the car.

"It's Forks, Edward. You didn't seriously think we could go a day without rain did you?" Bella asked as we got to the car and I helped her into the passenger seat as I shoved everything in the back, not really giving a shit if it was packed away properly. When I finally got into my seat and looked over at her, I felt like I had ruined our date. Bella's formerly curly hair was soaked and dripping down her back and her dress was clinging very tightly to her chest, making my pants extremely uncomfortable. I reached up and stretched my hand behind her neck, pulling her down to me for a sweet, yet tender kiss.

"Sorry about this," I replied, pointing to my front window where the rain was pelting it so hard we could barely see twenty feet in front of us.

"Don't stress about it," she replied simply. "Why don't we just go back to your place? Weren't your parents taking Alice and therefore Jasper, to some party tonight out in Port Angeles?"

She was a genius!

**BPOV **

I was a genius. I said a silent little prayer to the man upstairs thanking him for scheduling a ten year old's birthday party tonight and making it rain, basically aligning all the stars and giving Edward and I to have a chance to be alone.

I'd been dying to have some time with Edward, just the two of us, since the night I got back home from Europe, but we seemed to have no luck. Between catching up with friends and family I'd missed all summer as well as getting ready to move to UW next week, we had absolutely no time alone. Well, no wait...I lied. We did have ten minutes alone last week while Renee ran to the grocery store because she suddenly had the urge for whatever it was she wanted at the time, I didn't really remember or care. The point was, somebody was always around or the phone was ringing or we had something that had to get done. Not tonight though. Tonight was ours.

I didn't really understand all the fuss about having a first date. First dates always screamed awkwardness and unease, while you never knew if there was going to be a second date. You went through idle chit chat to get to know one another and then you mentally berated yourself about whether or not you should kiss the other person at the end of the night. None of this was relevant to us since we already knew everything there was to know about the other and we already knew there would be a second, third and fourth date in our future. I dont know, I guess it was just weird having any sort of formality to our relationship since we'd been so casual with each other for so long.

Still things were changing, for the better obviously, so I had to admit that when I woke up the morning of our date I was a little nervous about everything. Especially now that the cat was out of the proverbial bag and all eyes would be on us, I couldn't stop my nerves. I had no excuse to hide my feelings or thoughts or emotions from him, or anybody for that matter and I was honestly a little scared since before I had the secrecy of my feelings and then the long distance to protect me. I was used to keeping it all to myself and if I was being completely honest, I wasn't exactly sure how to be his girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I was excited, thrilled and there was nothing in this world that I wanted more, but the nerves were definitely still there.

I made a quick call home to let my parents know we were going back to Edward's house to watch a movie. With the rain, I'm sure they realized that anything we had planned to do outside was canceled and I didn't want them to worry when I didn't come home right away. Thankfully, all I had to endure was a reminder of tomorrow's to-do list, a quick 'don't do anything I wouldn't do' from Renee and a giggle and squeal that I really didn't want to know the reason behind. Something tells me mom and dad enjoyed my being away as much as I enjoyed it myself. That was awesome for them and I hoped things were like that when I was married and their age, but I did not need any confirmation or even any insinuation of any extracurricular activities between them. _Um ewww._

"Everything ok?" Edward asked, taking my hand in his and pulling it over to rest on his lap as he drove. "You look a little green."

"Yeah. Just Renee and Charlie were...well, I think I may have interrupted something." _Think of something else Bella. Think of something else. For God's sake, think of something else. _

"Nice. Way to go Charlie!" Edward winked at me and waggled his eyebrows up and down as I found myself wanting to huddle up in the corner of my seat and bleach my brain.

"Oh my God! Shut up!"

"Why? Not gonna lie Bella, that's really awesome that they're still into each other like that. Hell, I hope we're like… I mean, I hope um… things are like that when we're that age." He stopped and ran his fingers through his wet hair as he looked at me a bit funny before continuing. "Yeah...um, well that. Hey, I'm still hungry I hope mom has some food at the house. "

I loosened my fingers from his grasp and patted his hand. Not in a condescending way, but in a way that said _'yeah, me too,' _and I wasn't talking about the food.

The rain finally eased up enough for us to drive back to the Cullen house but it was still raining hard enough for us to get completely soaked again during the mad dash from the car to the front door. It didn't help that Edward was dead set against leaving anything in his car that might have been wet. In fact, I was honestly a bit surprised that he didn't put towels down on the seats before we got into the car in the first place. I tried to make the argument that we would get it all out as soon as the rain stopped but he was determined. The end result was me standing in the front entryway of his house dripping water all over their tile floor and shivering violently.

"Um, you should probably get out of those wet clothes, B. You can go on up to my room and just grab a shirt and some shorts out of my closet. You know where everything is and I'll be up as soon as I put all this stuff in the laundry room to dry out."

"K," I replied shortly as I stood still in my spot. Why was I hesitating? I'd been in his room thousands of times before and he was right, I knew where everything was. I knew about the gouge in the wall he covered with a Mariners poster. I knew he put all his underwear in the drawer with the waists to the right. I knew where he kept his porn. Huh. It suddenly seemed wrong that I knew about that one. Not that I minded it really, but still...maybe I'd just get him to move it. Yeah. That.

I opened the door to his room and quickly found a t-shirt and a pair of shorts exactly where I knew they would be. I quickly changed out of my wet dress, bra and panties, wringing everything out in his bathroom sink and looking for somewhere to lay them before deciding to just throw everything in a bag from the Cullens' laundry room and I would deal with later. The last thing I wanted was for Carlisle to see my undies in Edward's bathroom. It was like Edward's porn...what he didn't know, couldn't embarrass me.

I could smell popcorn wafting under the door and knew Edward must have finished putting everything away and was now in the kitchen. I could hear him opening cabinets and drawers while whistling some random song that he probably made up himself. I smiled like a fool just thinking about him, hoping that that never stopped happening because it was fun. I picked up my wet clothes from off the floor and left his room, closing the door quietly behind me. I padded down the hall towards the laundry room where I scanned the room looking for some sort of bag for my clothes but eventually decided to just throw my clothes in the dryer on no-heat. I'd worry about washing them tomorrow because the dress was hand wash inside out with like colors and dry flat on a rack made from organic bamboo shoots handpicked by monks in Cambodia. So much for simplicity.

Before heading into the kitchen, I made one quick pit stop in Alice's room to find a rubber band for my hair. Normally, I kept one around my wrist for when my hair got in my way, but I didn't have one with me tonight and my hair needed to be up. Between all the teasing, curling and poofing that I was subjected to this afternoon, leaving my hair down and wet was not even an option. I quickly ran in and grabbed one, trying not to let Edward hear me or know I was finished changing because it was imperative that I get downstairs to their den and pick out a movie before he got down there. I didn't care what we watched but I needed to pick something because if he got down there before I did it would be a two hour process. I could hear the microwave still running so I knew I had time. I closed the door behind me and turned to tiptoe down the hall but slammed face first into Edward. Shirtless Edward. Shirtless Edward with wet messy hair. _Well__,__ hello there._

I stood and stared at him before blurting out the first thing that came to my mind. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt," I screeched at him. Then I thought about it for a minute...why did I ask him that? Had I lost my mind?

"Why aren't you wearing pants," he countered.

"I am wearing pants, but your shirt is so freakishly large that it swallows me."

Cue the nervous snicker. So I gave him the look.

"Well don't all you girls know how to tie clothes in knots or something? Isn't that in your genetic code?"

"Edward, if I tied my shirt up, you'd see the massive roll up job I had to do on your shorts to keep them from falling off. I look like I have an inner tube around my waist."

"You could always just wear the shirt."

"Two seconds ago you were asking me why I wasn't wearing pants and now you're telling me to lose them. Make up your mind. Besides, you're the one that wanted a 'first date'. What kind of girl do you think I am?" I stood up on my toes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking past him and into the kitchen to grab a couple of drinks out of the refrigerator. "Grab some M&Ms too when you come down." I needed to get downstairs.

"You still do that?"

"Edward. I need the sweetness to counter balance the saltiness of the popcorn. Do we need to keep having this discussion every single time?"

_Don't look at him. Don't get distracted. Focus on the prize._

"What about the ice cream?" Oooh, I had forgotten about the ice cream. That was an absolute must have.

"What kind?" If there was anything chocolate based I could possibly lose the M&Ms. Hmmmm, there were so many possibilities .

He looked in the freezer and started shifting things around, eventually bending down and leaning in the freezer until he was almost halfway inside. "Vanilla."

Damn. "Is it frozen?"

"Did you honestly just ask me that? It's in the freezer, of course it's frozen."

"I meant is it really hard? You know I...," I turned when I heard a crash from inside the freezer and saw the back half of Edward shaking in silent laughter. "Shut the fuck up. You KNOW I have texture issues with my food." I put his drink back on the counter and dumped the ice in the sink before grabbing my own bowl of popcorn and stomping downstairs. "You can get your own damn drink." The second I got out of any potential sight lines I leaned up against the wall and started laughing myself. Ugh, I had missed him.

By the time Edward caught up with me, I had two movies in my hands. Almost Famous and Steel Magnolias. I loved Steel Magnolias, but I knew that Edward hated it. Years of experience also taught me that if I let him feel like he had some semblance of a role in making a decision, he was much less likely to argue, protest, pout or any of those man things. What we watched didn't really matter to me. All I wanted was to be cuddled up with the boy I loved under a couple of blankets.

"Which one?"

He took both movies from my hands and shook his head. "I'm on to you Swan. You and your mind games. Angela pulled the same shit one night a few weeks ago when I hung out with her and Ben. Oddly enough, she used Steel Magnolias too. It's not gonna work on me. Not this time sweet cheeks." He walked past me and opened the closet door to reveal the obscene amount of movies that had been accumulated over the years. Each shelf held a different genre and was arranged by year and then alphabetically. I could never find anything in there which is why I always picked from the same few movies each time but Edward could find what he was looking for blindfolded. But like I said, that wasn't the problem. The problem was him deciding what to watch and that's why I almost passed out when he had one picked out less than two minutes later, Big Fish. Knowing how Edward felt about Tim Burton I shouldn't have been surprised. Still, it was a great movie and one that I could stand to watch again, so well played Edward. Well played, indeed.

He put the DVD in the player and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the sinfully comfortable sofa that was in the middle of the room. It was so deep that when I sat all the way back against the cushions my legs stuck out straight. It was awesome. Edward pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa and tucked it around us which was perfect because I was still a little cold from the rain. I leaned into his side and he started the movie.

"Do you mind if I turn the light off?" he asked about 10 seconds later. "There's an obnoxious glare on the screen."

_Did I mind. Pshhhh Let me see. You. Me. Darkness. Blankets. Empty house. Imagine the possibilities__!_

"No, that's fine. Go ahead." _That's right. Play it cool__, Swan__._

He reached his arm up and around me to switch off the lamp and suddenly his hand was on my boob and it felt like some total cliche moment. I looked over at him with an amused expression on my face but he was staring at the TV, intently watching the previews for movies that had been out for ages. So I kept staring and his hand didn't move nor did his expression waiver. I looked down at his hand and back up at his face. Nothing. So I did the only logical thing. I stretched and yawned and put my hand on his 'boob', and watched the movie.

It was subtle, but I felt it. I took a chance and looked at his face through the corner of my eye and I could see him struggling. I could see the pain he was in and his mouth twitched. Then I felt another subtle nudge as he tried to keep from laughing. So I squeezed and then the dam burst. We were both laughing so hard that I had tears running down my cheeks and his whole body was shaking but no noise was coming out.

Then something changed and he put his hands on my cheeks and leaned in for a kiss. The second our lips touched we were on fire. Our lips parted and tongues met eagerly, tasting each other as though it had been ages since we had even touched each other. Suddenly, I was straddling his lap and I could feel him beneath me. I started to roll my hips against him and he moaned against my mouth. His hands left my face and traced down my neck to my shoulders and down the length of my arms until I felt them grasping my ass, his fingers digging into my cotton covered flesh as he pushed me against him harder and faster.

He started to move with me and my brain was yelling out to me 'oh my god I need him'. We both fell to the side and lay on the couch, but that wasn't enough so we shifted again, bringing him over me with our legs intertwined and I realized that he had put on a shirt at some point between now and the kitchen and it needed to go.

"Take it off," I said, but really didn't give him the option as I reached for the hem and started to pull it over his head. It got stuck for a moment so he sat up on his knees above me and took it off. He flung it somewhere, but I'm not really sure where it landed, nor did I care. He collapsed down on me again and I turned my head to the side, hoping to feel his lips attached to my neck as Edward moved against me, but instead I saw shoes. Shoes attached to legs in white knees socks and an obnoxious pink dress.

Alice. Fuck.

"Fuck."

"That's right baby. Tell me what you need."

"Stop, Edward. We have to stop."

"That's not what I was going for there, B" He continued to kiss, lick and nip along my neck and collarbone, not at all heeding my forceful shoves and the shifting of my body beneath him.

"Alice." I whispered forcefully in his ear because while we thankfully covered by the blanket, it was probably best for everyone if things stopped now.

"Please don't mention my sister when I'm trying to get you naked."

"No, I mean Alice is standing right here, Edward."

"What the ever living fuck?" Edward shot up and sat down next to me quickly, grabbing the blanket and bunching it up before placing it strategically in his lap to hide the 'evidence' from little eyes.

"Hey you guys. Mom and Dad sent me down here to let you know we were home. Tanya ate something yucky and threw up all over the ball pit so they sent everybody home. Can I have some popcorn?" She wedged herself between us and grabbed the bowl off the table. So much for alone time. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt, Edward?"

I had to laugh as she looked up at me with her inquisitive eyes. "I asked him the same thing earlier Alice." Edward shot me a look that let me know I'd pay for that, so I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I _knew_ we should have just stayed in the car."

**A/N: Don't worry, they won't always be cock blocked. After all, they will be moving to college next chapter! Reviews make us write faster… well okay, they make Risbee squeal and giggle and they make CPW write faster, but you get the point.**


	16. Bajanxed

**CPW: Hi All! We're back again.**

**Risbee: We're bringing sexy back. After all, they are finally heading to college this chapter.**

**CPW: Well, don't spoil it for them.**

**Risbee: If I was spoiling it for them, I would say something like … in the epilogue we're gonna give them a baby named Reneesme.**

**CPW: Well shit. Now you're just being mean. **shakes head at Risbee** Anywhoo, go read the chapter. It's full of funny.**

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight, nor do we own U-Haul, just so ya know!**

**BPOV**

I woke up smiling.

Six days after our first date turned into an unfortunate threesome, it was finally time to load everything up and move to UW. Fucking finally. If I didn't get away from here and get some space, I was seriously going to go nuts and run screaming down the street pulling my hair out. Don't get me wrong, being home was nice and I really was going to miss my parents, but jeebus it was stifling. I knew what life on my own was like, though I was more than aware that technically I was not on my own and that I could hardly compare eight weeks in Europe to being on my own in the real world but still. I missed my purple hair. The best way to describe it was like watching a movie preview and then having to wait two months to see it in the theater. London was my preview. College was the theater... darkened... with Edward... and I had my ticket in my hand. Again, fucking finally.

I popped out of bed and threw a sweatshirt on over my tank top before I pulled on Edwards flannel pajama bottoms that I had snagged not too long ago. There was no real sense in showering at that moment since I had more packing to do, not to mention hauling everything downstairs and eventually loading it inside the U-Haul that Emmett's dad had rented for us to transport everything. We needed the space because there was no way all my stuff would have fit into mom's Corolla and I absolutely refused to be taken to school in a police cruiser.

When Edward mentioned me joining them in using the rental, I literally squealed with excitement. I was no fool; I knew I could totally con them into helping me move my own things, in addition to moving their own. We had discussed plans for who was traveling together and since the mothers weren't coming, we thought it would be good if Emmett was stuck in the U-Haul with Carlisle and Charlie. After everything Edward and I had been subjected to lately, it was the least he could do for us. Plus, Edward and me in his car, alone, for several hours was something I couldn't pass up simply because good things happened when Edward and I were in a car together. Very good things and I'm not gonna lie, I spent about 45 minutes last night mapping out all the rest stops and trying to come up with a list feasible excuses as to why Edward and I would inevitably break away from the caravan.

I was also more than just a little curious about my roommate, Siobhan. I'd emailed her a few times and she'd answered, but you can't really get a true feeling for somebody over email. She seemed cool enough, even though she used some slang words in her email I had never even seen before, and I was hoping with every fiber of my being that she had a boyfriend who had an apartment off campus, because there was part of me that was not looking forward to ever spending the night in Edward's room, at least not when Emmett was around. I adored Emmett, I really did and I know he was Edward's best friend, but again, I was ready to be on my… I… me… our own.

"Are you ever going to give me my pants back?" asked a familiar voice from just outside my window. I turned and found Edward perched on the thick branch of the tree, peeping into my room.

"If you had come over ten minutes ago, you could have had them back because they were still on my floor from last night." I answered back before walking over to the window as he crawled through and planted a sweet but affectionate kiss on his soft lips.

"That's all I get?" he asked with a pout before grabbing me around the waist and pulling me closer.

"One, morning breath. Two, I don't trust you not to try and dazzle me to get your pants back. And three, I need some sort of motivation to get me to finish packing. I'm a big believer in the reward system." I patted his cheek before placing another chaste kiss on the tip of his nose and extricating myself from his octopus arms. I was a fool.

"I can't believe that you're still not done packing," Edward said as he started opening drawers and looking in my closet. "Everything is gone, what more do you need to do?"

I pointed over to my desk and gestured to the pictures that were still displayed everywhere and on top of everything. They were really the only things left that made my room looked like somebody lived in it. Edward walked over and started taking down the pictures on my wall while I started wrapping the frames in bubble wrap and placing them carefully in a box that I had set aside just for the final morning. I was planning to carry it with me in my lap as Edward drove because I was not willing to take the chance that anything might happen to my pictures.

Edward and I talked about various things as we packed, but nothing overly exciting. He did have a near catastrophe last night when he walked in his room to find his mother hovering over his packed suitcases with her new label maker. He said she had that wild-eyed look on her face and was rocking back and forth on her feet like she couldn't decide where to start first, but thankfully he remembered that they had gone school shopping for Alice the day before and she had a new pink backpack that was screaming for some one on one time with a bedazzler. The fact that both Renee and Esme were staying in Forks today instead of making the trip with us left me a little sad. However, the rest of me knew it was for the best. Maybe they could come help when it was time to move out for the summer, or as I thought back to the big reveal of the fact that Edward and I were officially dating, maybe they wouldn't ever come to visit.

Before I knew it, I was finally finished packing. I placed the last and my favorite picture, the one of Edward and me in matching Christmas pajamas, in the box and closed it up tight. My room was empty.

"Let's go get breakfast, I'm starving." Edward grabbed the box off of my desk, opened my bedroom door and started to walk down the hall to go downstairs to the kitchen. I almost had a panic attack thinking about Charlie and Renee seeing him come downstairs after they knew he hadn't come in the front door, but what could they do? Ground me? I was _this close_ to being free.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen smiling.

Mom and dad just stared at us, neither of them saying a word, but you could just tell what they wanted to know, but this was all Edward. "Yeah, um, I came in through the window," Edward shrugged and grabbed a chocolate chip muffin out of the basket in the middle of the kitchen island. He kissed Renee on the cheek and nodded at Charlie before setting the box of pictures on top of the other boxes and suitcases gathered by the front door. What the hell was going on?

If I had known it would have been this easy I would have soooo played my cards differently. All those nights wasted because I didn't want to be disrespectful and they didn't care? Really?

I poured some coffee for Edward and handed him the mug, ignoring the amused looks from my parents before pouring myself some as well. Admittedly it was more creamer and sugar than coffee, but still, it was caffeine. Renee and Charlie still hadn't said a word and Edward wasn't any help and it got to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Fine. Edward came through the window. He's..."

"We know," Charlie mumbled from behind the sports page. "I pulled up in the cruiser just as Evel Knievel here started to climb the tree." That little shit. He totally knew he was in the clear and let me freak alone for a whole two minutes. "The tree is getting trimmed while you're gone by the way."

Oh. Well that was that then.

"What time are your dad and Emmett coming over with the truck?" I turned to ask Edward hoping to change the subject but I knew the odds of Charlie forgetting were not in my favor. Renee suddenly excused herself and walked away fanning her face and mumbling something about 'the vapors'. She was not taking this well, which was not really like her, so I was glad that Esme and Alice were staying here with her when we left. It wouldn't take them long to get into some situation and while I normally cringed at the idea of leaving them alone together, I was happy she would have the distraction that the Cullen women would provide.

"They should be here any minute actually," Edward said checking his watch and picking up his phone. "I'm going to call Emmett and make sure he's up and awake and ready to go." He walked outside on the front porch with his cell phone perched in his hand and I could hear him yelling frantically to Emmett about moving his ass, or something like that.

"What's going on?" I asked as I walked outside to join Edward, smiling from ear to ear because I knew freedom was imminent.

"I just woke up Emmett, so he's a bit behind. Our junk is already packed in the U-Haul though, my mother made us do it last night, so all we need to worry about is your stuff. He should be here in about ten minutes," Edward explained as he wrapped his arm around my waist and I leaned my head down onto his shoulder. He smelled really good. I did not.

"Ten minutes you say?" Edward nodded his head slowly and I quickly kissed the tip of his nose again. "Go chill with Charlie and discuss baseball stats, trout or something equally Charlie pleasing. I desperately need to shower."

Edward nodded his head and I ran inside the house, taking the steps up to the second floor two at a time in my mad dash to get into the shower. I stripped down and hopped in, letting the hot water cascade down my body and relieve the tension I felt. I was then overwhelmed with a genius thought. If I stayed in the shower, then I wouldn't have to pack the U-Haul with my boxes when Carlisle arrived. Suddenly, the urge to rush out of the house was gone and I spent the next twenty minutes relaxing while the sounds of my friends and family downstairs floated into the small bathroom.

When I stepped from the shower and began to towel dry my body, I could hear Emmett and Edward cursing about me in the hallway. Something was being muttered by Emmett about how cleanliness was next to laziness and he was going to make me unpack everything in Seattle when we arrived. I just laughed to myself and decided I should take my sweet time blow drying my hair and getting dressed.

The moment I deemed myself presentable, I finished packing my shower essentials and walked downstairs to find Emmett and Edward downing huge glasses of iced tea as my mother and Esme chatted happily in the background with Mrs. McCarty. Both boys looked at me with a scowl as I sighed and winked at my mother, who was no doubt proud of the way I had manipulated the situation to my advantage. At the urging of his mother, Emmett rinsed his glass and put it away in the dishwasher, acting like a perfect gentleman the entire time, while everyone else in the room was shocked.

Carlisle yelled from the porch that it was time to get moving and I watched with surprise as Emmett gave his mom a tender hug and kiss on the cheek as he walked her to the car and opened the door for her. Huh. Go figure. He apparently did know how to be polite. Either that or he was a complete momma's boy. Oh wait, she did the 'mom lick the thumb and wipe dirt of your face' thing. Momma's boy it is. I was SO not going to cut up his food at the dinner table in the dining hall. Once his mother drove away, I knew it was all a ruse. I could literally see him morph into the Emmett I was familiar with.

"So you two, we're going to have to work out some sort of system here. Ya know, a type of 'when the dorm room's a rockin' don't come a knockin' thing." Emmett then started to do some obscene gesture with his hips and I gave Edward a look that begged him to make Emmett stop.

"Dude, Emmett, knock it off. We're not even there yet and you're already acting like an ass."

"Edward, man, like you two are not going to do the ol' in and out," he stopped to grin at me and waggle his eyebrows, "as soon as Ol' Doc and the Chief drive off with the U-Haul. Fuckin' A man, if I knew that I'd be getting laid the second I left for college, I'd...hey Chief Swan, let me get that box for you." He hopped up off the top step and mimicked a blow job with his hands before turning to go help my dad move more boxes outside.

"Do. Something. About. Him." I said through clenched teeth. I loved Emmett, but God he needed a muzzle.

Charlie and Carlisle were both perched by the truck, waiting impatiently for us to say goodbye. Esme and Alice were hugging Edward on the sidewalk in front of the house and I noticed that my mom was nowhere to be found, so I went looking through the house. I found her sitting in a rocking chair in my bedroom and when she met my eyes, she smiled gently. I was really tempted to feel her forehead but honestly, I didn't know if I should be more concerned with her subdued behavior or the fact that she was already moving furniture into my room. Charlie definitely needed to keep an eye on her for the next few days. I'd be damned if I would be okay with her installing a stripper pole in my bedroom. Cause she'd do it. In a heartbeat.

I was suddenly pulled from my thoughts by the sound of Esme approaching behind me.

"Go on downstairs Bella and make sure those boys don't miss any of your boxes. Renee come with me. We need to make them some sandwiches for the road and you know Charlie won't eat anybody's PB&J but yours." Esme winked at me before grabbing Renee's hand and literally pulling her out of the chair. "I brought some movies to watch after everybody leaves. Jasper's dad is gonna pick up Alice in about an hour and she's spending the afternoon with them. So we can commiserate and be miserable together."

By the time I got downstairs, I let dad know about mom and her odd behavior and he promised to do something special for her when he got home later in the night. It didn't squick me out this time because he said it with total love in his eyes. They were so perfect for each other.

Speaking of perfect, I went and sat down on the stairs behind Edward and started massaging his shoulders firmly. I could feel the strain in his muscles and I leaned down to whisper in his ear, "You okay?" He just groaned a response and nodded his head as I continued to manipulate his muscles. Eventually, I could feel him relax, but I didn't stop the movements of my hands on him. I needed contact with him, in whatever way I could get it. He knew it too, as he leaned his cheek down to smoosh my hand between his face and shoulder. I loved him.

Once we had our lunches from Renee and Esme, it was time to go. I walked over to Edwards' car to find Emmett already parked in my seat. I was not smiling.

"Here's the deal sweet cheeks. I'm not riding in a car with two dudes I am not related to. Can you drive a stick?" I shook my head. "Fine. You ride with Doc C and Charlie. Besides," I watched as he squirmed and shifted all over the seat before finally rubbing his face all up and down the headrest, "now it's all sweaty and stinky." I didn't have the heart to tell him that Edward and I had been naked in that car, but whatever. Edward knew though and was thinking the same thing I was as I heard him chuckle quietly to himself.

"It's okay baby. Go ride with Charlie and my dad. I'll convince him to make himself scarce tonight. I'm sure he can find something to do that doesn't involve him sleeping in our room. Go. Let me work my magic so I can work it on you later."

"That's bordering on creepy Edward."

He swatted my ass and kissed me quickly. "Go make sure those old people know how to get to UW. See you on the sixth floor. Be naked." I blushed and walked over to the U-Haul where I assumed I would soon find myself sandwiched on a 'leather' seat listening to, spotty at best, AM radio.

Emmett McCarty owed me and I was going to collect if it was the last thing I did.

The U-Haul smelled like the back stairwell at the gym. I tried not to think about how many other people, bodies and germs had been in this seat before me because that probably would have done me in and I would have hurled myself out the window as we drove down the highway towards Seattle. Somebody needed to invent seat covers that peeled off like windshields on NASCAR race cars, I thought to myself. Awesome, it only took five minutes for the backs of my legs to start sticking to the seats. We needed to get a move on because my mood was going downhill fast. Fucking Emmett.

I reached over and beeped the horn, causing Charlie to look over and he did not look happy with me. I shrugged because I really didn't care, I just wanted to go and get unpacked before the end of the semester. He put his hand on Renee's cheek and leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead before walking over and pulling Carlisle away from Esme. Ok, so maybe that was a bit bitchy of me in hindsight, but I wanted to get the hell out of dodge.

As expected, I was wedged in between the two dads because my legs were the only ones that would fit in the middle seat. Charlie was driving there, Carlisle was driving back and I was not looking forward to it at all. Charlie started to back out of the driveway and there was complete silence. Oh wait, he did turn on NPR, but there was no talking. I opened my purse and grabbed my headphones, thankful that I had remembered to bring them in the truck, but just as I went to go plug them into my iPod, it was like we entered the Twilight Zone.

"Okay doc. Hook me up. I know you've got some good stuff."

Oh My God. Was my dad hitting up Carlisle for drugs? I tried not to act like I was listening but I was so not going to miss this now.

"Let's see. Same rules apply." He looked over to make sure I wasn't listening before continuing. "I recently had an interesting visit from Forks most famous divorcee. She was complaining about a sore shoulder, but when I had her lift her arms she tried to run her fingers through her hair."

This was the best they had?

"But when she did that, her rings got tangled and she pulled her wig off."

Shut up. Jessica's mom was bald? Please let that be hereditary!

"Funny you bring up that particular patient. Guess who I had to get unstuck from the back bathroom window of her house the morning of the kids graduation? The window fell back down on him and he couldn't raise it enough to get out."

"I know exactly who that was."

Well I didn't. Damn it.

Thankfully, Carlisle continued so maybe there was a chance for me to figure it out. "The window wasn't the only thing he couldn't raise. He came in for a prescription for ED not too long ago. He spent thirty minutes asking me if there could possibly be any correlation between his problem and gold spray paint."

My mind began to work in overdrive to think about things that had gold spray paint in town and the first thing that came to mind was the Biology teacher at Forks High, Mr. Banner, and his lame ass golden onion. Like seriously, what kind of incentive was that. Could it be Mr. Banner? Holy shit.

It was like being in the car with a bunch of old women. This was fucking awesome! I was getting cramps in my hands from the fists I was making to keep from laughing but I wasn't about to risk being found out and have them clam up on me. When they started talking about a narcoleptic shoplifter that was discovered with a bottle of K-Y Jelly and two packs of glow in the dark condoms while passed out on the floor of Walgreens, I couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing hysterically. They both froze and looked at each other before shrugging and continuing with the stories. Best. Drive. Ever.

Three hours later, I stumbled out of the car and made my way over to Edward. He took one look at me and came running over to meet me halfway.

"Oh my God, Bella! Are you ok?" He went to go wipe the tear streaks off my face but I stopped him.

"I never knew it. I never knew how those two survived being married to our mothers. Three hours in a truck with them, Edward, and I get it. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. Ever. I know more about the fine citizens of Forks than I ever wanted to know. And while your father is bound by HIPPA and all that crap, it was pretty easy to guess who he was talking about. Benefits of growing up in a small town.

I now knew who cheated on whom. I knew who had been in rehab and who had plastic surgery. I knew who had a prescription for Cialis and I would never be able to look at Mr. Banner the same way again. Who knew he was having sex? Who _wanted_ to know? Still, it was an enlightening, educational and humiliating experience all at the same time.

And I was smiling.

**EPOV**

"What do you think you are doing?" I asked as I came into my room the night before moving to UW to find my mother hovering over two of my suitcases. One was empty and would soon be filled with the clothes that were in the dryer and the other well… the other one featured some clothes, but also hid my porn stash.

"I was just going to help you. Are you sure you have everything you need?" she asked as I narrowed my eyes and moved closer to my bed, opting to stand between her and my luggage. There was no way in hell I could deal with the embarrassment if my mother found the magazines, movies and lube I had in there. Although with Bella in my life, it wasn't like I needed the stash, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew there would be times when she just didn't want to have sex or physically couldn't. However, let's be honest. I was a teenage boy with a raging libido. That stash was coming to college with me.

"Why are you clutching the label maker?" I asked curiously as I quirked my eye brow at her and waited patiently for a response.

"I may have wanted to…"

"Finish the sentence mom."

"I was going to put labels on some of your clothes. I would hate for you to do laundry and someone takes your clothes."

"Clothes or underwear?"

"Both," she said with a small shrug of her shoulders. Oh thank god I had found her in time. Not only so she wouldn't discover Buffy The Vampire Layer or Sweet Bone Alabama, but also so I didn't have to deal with the sheer embarrassment of having my name tagged into my underwear.

"I know you are going to miss me mom, but we talked about this. I'm a phone call away. I will be home for all major holidays, and you can inflict your special brand of crazy on Alice instead," I said with a laugh as my mother narrowed her eyes at me. "Pretty soon you will dread those weekends when I come home."

"Not likely Edward," she replied as she pulled me into a rather motherly hug and I heard her let out sight. "It won't be the same without you around here, but I'll get over it. I'm sure I can find something to occupy my time."

"Yeah… like what about that backpack you bought Alice for school. Doesn't she need it to be bedazzled or something like that?" I asked, hoping that I could take her mind off of the fact that the very next night I would no longer be living with them.

"Thanks Edward. You really are the best son a mother could ask for," she said with grin as she headed towards the door. "Oh… and please take care of Bella when you are in Seattle. She's like my second daughter, and I hope one day she will be a part of this family, forever." I nodded my head as my mom walked out the door and down the hallway, calling out for Alice as she went. I knew she felt like Bella was a daughter, but I had no idea she was already thinking in terms of marriage and forever. I seriously thought Bella had been joking when she mentioned the mothers picking out China patterns, but I guess not.

After I finished packing the rest of my things, I quickly called Bella to say goodnight and tell her about my encounter with my mother. Bella and I agreed for me to come over to her place first thing in the morning to help her finish her packing, though I couldn't imagine that she had much left to do. We talked casually about how excited we both were to be moving out, and before I knew it, I was ushering her off the phone, insisting she get some sleep.

The next morning, I woke up extra early and took a nice long shower. My mother made a huge farewell breakfast of French toast, eggs, bacon, toast and even some hash browns. As I devoured everything on my place, I couldn't think of a time when my mother had made such a large breakfast. Shortly after I was finished, I packed a few boxes in the back of my car and then headed off to Bella's excited to see her again.

I climbed in through her window, being caught by Charlie in the process, and was hoping to get a few minutes to roll around on her bed with her before reality struck us, but sadly Bella was all business. I helped her finish packing a box of pictures and then we brought them downstairs, where I decided to just own up to going through her window. Charlie gave me a knowing look and then casually told us that he was trimming the tree while we were gone. I avoided letting out a laugh, because I knew damn well I could just as easily climb up the lattice on the side of the house and get into her window that way.

When Emmett finally arrived, Bella ran to have a shower and him and I, at the insistence of our mothers, packed all of Bella's stuff into the truck. "I think this is part of Bella's master plan," said Emmett as he carried out a box labeled clothes and I had one filled with books. Fuck it was heavy as hell.

"Her master plan?" I asked curiously.

"Don't you think it's a little funny how she disappeared as we had to pack the truck and when we get to UW, we have to empty her shit out first? Then she can start unpacking and not help us with our stuff," Emmett said as he tapped his head gently with his finger. "See… I'm always thinking."

"Oh, is that what that hamster is doing in there? I thought he was running on a wheel or laying on his back like the lazy fuck he is."

"I will have you know that I got 600 writing, 720 math and 700 reading on my SAT scores," said Emmett proudly as I stopped dead in my tracks and hung my mouth open in shock. "Just cause I act like a dumb jock, doesn't mean I am."

"You know with grades like that you probably could have gotten into some Ivy League school or something."

"Yeah, but my parents could never have afforded that. I'm too upper middle class for scholarships and financial aid. It kinda sucks, but I want to go to UW, Edward. They have a great architecture program and really… what would my college experience be like if I didn't have you there as my roommate," he said as he rested the box down on the edge of the truck and then punched me on the shoulder. I dropped the box onto the back of the truck and groaned as I watched him walk back into the house to get another box. What the hell was going on with my best friend?

Another big surprise came to me when I found Emmett sitting in the passenger seat of my car, fiddling with my iPod before we got ready to leave. Bella was standing beside him, looking down on him with a huge frown. There went our plans for us to ride together into Seattle. I had been lying if I said I hadn't thought of finding that deserted parking lot and fucking her again in the car. Desperate would probably be an understatement regarding how I felt for her at that moment.

"Here's the deal sweet cheeks. I'm not riding in a car with two dudes I am not related to. Can you drive a stick?" Bella shook her head as I let out a small groan and approached the two of them cautiously. "Fine. You ride with Doc C and Charlie. Besides," we both watched as he shifted his sweaty body all over the passenger seat, "now it's all sweaty and stinky."

"It's okay baby. Go ride with Charlie and my dad. I'll convince him to make himself scarce tonight. I'm sure he can find something to do that doesn't involve him sleeping in our room. Go. Let me work my magic so I can work it on you later."I was trying my best to reassure her, but I was a little grossed out by what Emmett had just done and wondered to myself if I had enough time to steam clean the car before we left town.

Finally, after saying our emotional farewells to our mothers and Alice, we all hopped into our vehicles and drove off towards Seattle. I noticed a look of pure fear on Bella's face as she got a lift up from her dad to get into the cab of the truck, to be squished between Charlie and Carlisle. I felt remorseful for her, but knew she would feel somewhat relieved when I explained to her that Emmett ended up having gas and would constantly flick the window locks shut so I couldn't roll down the window. That was fucking horrible.

As we got onto the I-5 heading south towards Seattle, Emmett looked at me with a look of curiosity. "So… back at the Swan's you said I had to find something to do tonight?"

"It's the least you can do since you stole Bella's seat," I said with all seriousness.

"Is her name on it anywhere?" Emmett asked defensively.

"I think we both figured it was a given based on the fact that she was my girlfriend, that she would drive with me."

"You just wanted to bang her at some rest stop while the U-Haul kept going to Seattle." I looked at Emmett incredulously. Not only was he some sort of super genius, but now he could read minds? "Look, I'm not against you two getting your freak on, and I will gladly step away from the room tonight for a bit and find myself some hot piece of ass to keep me occupied. However, things are going to change when we get to college."

"How the hell are they going to change?" I asked, my voice showing the shock that I felt at his comment.

"Well, now it's not going to be you and me hanging out all the time. It's going to be you and Bella. I really am happy you guys finally pulled your head out of your asses, but I'm not planning to be the third wheel. Just… don't forget your friends okay?" I nodded my head and offered Emmett a little smile. He agreed to be scarce for a few hours that night, provided I gave him the same courtesy once he found a girlfriend, or a fuck buddy, or whatever Emmett was looking for.

I relieved when we finally got to school, and even more so when I found out that Bella's drive into the city had been less terrifying than she had originally thought. The three of us, with our fathers in tow, spent a good two hours taking our stuff from the truck into the dorm buildings on the dollies that Charlie had brought with him. The one downfall was that Bella was on the sixth floor, and we were on the third, so Emmett and I graciously let her use both the fathers to get her things into her room. Bella even managed to help out more than Emmett thought she would.

"So it turns out my roommate isn't arriving till tomorrow," Bella announced as she walked into our room shortly after the fathers had decided to head back to Forks. It turns out Alice had been invited to a sleepover at her friend Tanya's house and the men had plans to enjoy the peace and quiet in their homes. I couldn't blame them one bit and we thanked them, hugged them goodbye and set out to making our beds so that we had somewhere to sleep that night.

"Oh thank god. I am so fucking tired, I just wanna take a shower, eat a pizza and pass out," said Emmett as he tossed his Star Wars pillow onto his twin sized bed and I saw Bella snicker at the sheets on his bed. "What? Do you have a problem with Star Wars, Bella?"

"No… no problem," Bella said as she turned away and let out a huge laugh. "You don't have some feety pajamas in there too do you?"

"Do I look like Ben Cheney?" he asked with a knowing smile. "Anyways, since Bella's roommate isn't coming till tomorrow, like most of the other people in this dorm, I think you guys should go fornicate in her room."

"Fornicate?" Bella choked out, no doubt shocked by Emmett's use of such a large word. I whispered to her that I would tell her later and then Emmett asked for my help in setting up his drafting desk. Bella said she was going to go unpack some more and then order some Chinese food for dinner. She winked at me with a huge smile on her face and then told me to get my ass up there by six if I wanted dinner. I kissed her gently and just nodded my head as Emmett shoved a screwdriver in my direction.

"You are so whipped."

"And you my friend are envious."

"Fucking right I am."

Forty minutes later Bella texted me to let me know she had just ordered dinner. Emmett had already left the dorms, claiming he wanted to go scope out the chicks on campus and find himself some dinner, so I had a quick shower, thankful that we had our own in our room, and then headed up to Bella's room. It was just before six when I arrived. I couldn't help but smile because when I reached her door, she was paying for the Chinese. Talk about good timing.

"Did you plan this? Keep yourself busy until dinner came so you couldn't help me unpack?"

"I could ask you the same about your shower this morning," I said with a wink as Bella let out a small groan and turned away from me carrying the bags into the main common area. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Anyways, I got you extra spring rolls," she said, deftly trying to change the topic. I decided it was best to let sleeping dogs lie before we got into an argument about everything. So instead, I sat down on the floor beside her, in front of the TV she had brought from home and together we watched repeats of COPS while enjoying the really good food she had ordered. They actually had a segment that took place in the Sea-Tac area and they did a small drug bust. We both giggled incessantly and laughed our asses off at the stupidity of the criminal who tried to eat the bag of weed, plastic and all, so that he wouldn't get caught.

When dinner was over, Bella and I tossed our paper plates into the garbage can and she packed the rest of her food away in the small fridge she had rented for the year. We both stood side by side at the small sink in her bathroom and washed our hands. Suddenly, the room was filled with tension. When I looked over at Bella, she gave me a rather wide eyed expression and before I could even think my hands were wrapped around her waist, pulling her small body against mine as my lips pressed hard against hers.

I lifted her up onto the edge of her bathroom vanity and she opened her legs, welcoming me in as I moved closer to her, pressing my erection against her center and grinding forcefully as our hands flailed wildly, moving from hips to forearms to hair. It was pure intensity and I loved it.

Bella's legs wrapped tightly around my waist and she pressed herself against me hard, and then let out a rather loud squeal. "Oh fuck…" she added as I nipped at her neck while her head was thrown back. "Jesus… I need you… but I hear there's a bed in the other room."

"We've never needed a bed before," I uttered as I tugged at the buttons on my shorts and they pooled on the floor by my feet. Bella was grasping at the hem of my shirt as she attempted to pull it off, while I was trying to do the same to her, which didn't exactly work well. Instead, Bella ripped her own shirt off as I did the same and then yanked down the straps of her bra to reveal her perfect, creamy breasts to me. I sucked one nipple into my mouth as my other hand massaged her breast and Bella literally purred under my touch and tightened the grip she had around my waist.

"Bed…"

"Really?" I asked as I bit down on her nipple, causing her to yelp slightly, and then I switched to her other breast, giving it same amount of attention.

"I can't ride you on the counter Edward," Bella replied as I pulled back from her for a moment, my eyes searching hers for something, though I didn't know what. Suddenly, I was overcome with the image of Bella bouncing up and down on my cock, her tits bouncing as I gripped her hips and urged her on. I reached my hands around her back and undid the clasp on her bra, finally removing it, before moving my hands down her ass and lifting her up from the counter. I practically ran us back into the room and set her down gently on the bed as I struggled awkwardly while trying to remove my boxer shorts and get myself completely naked.

The moment I was done, I looked over at Bella and saw her as she finished pulling her own panties off, leaving her naked before and looking very delicious. I knelt on the floor and then grabbed her ankles and lifted her feet, resting them on the edge of the bed. Bella was completely spread out for me and I couldn't help myself as I alternated staring between Bella and her pink, wet slit. I reached my finger out, tracing the contours of her tender skin before ghosting my finger around her slit and watching as she rolled her eyes back in her head and arched her back slightly.

I felt emboldened by her reaction and leaned forward, lapping at her wetness once as she let out a growl of arousal. Her response was all I needed and I was instantly between her legs, sucking, licking and tasting every inch of her as she grabbed my hair, pulling me closer into her. Mental note… Bella loves oral.

I had never done this before, but had seen enough porn in my life to know what the hell I should be doing. I eased one finger inside her slickness and moved it slowly, in and out; watching as my finger became coated in her juices and then leaned forward to flick her clit with my tongue as I noticed her legs shaking slightly out of the corner of my eyes.

"Oh fuck… don't stop Edward," she cursed out as I added a second finger and Bella started shouting out a string of curse words that would rival any seasoned trucker. "Holy fuck… shit… more… fuck me… oh Christ…" This was followed up by her pressing my face against her even harder as I felt her entire body tense for a few moments and then relax as she let out a huge sigh. I suddenly felt very fucking smug, and hard as hell.

I looked up at Bella and she was smiling from ear to ear, which made me even happier, considering I was a newbie at the whole going down on my girlfriend thing. I was about to question her about my abilities, but she suddenly thrust herself forward and was kissing me passionately, her lips and tongue plundering my own as she groaned and tasted her sweetness on me. I gripped her ass and stood up, albeit shakily, and then I sat down on the edge of the bed with Bella straddling me.

"That was so fucking good," she said as she pulled back and pressed her hands against my shoulders, easing me down onto the bed. We repositioned ourselves onto the bed, so my head was propped on a pillow and I watched with slight shock as Bella leaned forward and fetched a condom from her nightstand drawer. "What? Like you didn't think I would have a stash of them in here?"

"One could only hope, right?"

Bella nodded her head and leaned down to kiss me again before she pulled back and began to sheath my aching cock with the condom. Just the feel of her touching my dick was making it hard for me to focus, but the moment she hovered above me, gripping my cock as she guided it inside of her, I actually thought I would cum just from watching her sink down onto my dick. "Oh fucking hell, you are so tight," I forced out through clenched teeth as Bella took a moment to adjust and she leaned down to kiss me, her hard nipples brushing against my chest.

The moment I felt Bella start grinding her hips against me, I grabbed her hips and helped lift her up and down, my eyes alternating between watching her face as she rode me, watching her breasts bounce and staring at where we were joined as my dick slipped happily inside of her. No coherent sentences came from my mouth as Bella and I fucked, her body slamming down hard on mine over and over again. At my urging, Bella leaned back and grasped my thighs, leaving her hard clit eager for my fingers to tease her, which they did happily. I pinched, flicked and rubbed her clit hard as she panted and shook above me.

"Fuck me harder," she urged as my hips rose to match hers and our bodies slapped together noisily. I pinched her clit one more time and felt her entire body tense, her pussy clenching around my cock as she screamed out again in orgasm. The pulsing of her pussy around me made me throb harder and before I knew it, I was thrusting a few more times into her before finding my own release.

Suddenly, the door flew open and there stood a girl with pale skin and flame red hair that I had never seen before in my life. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" she cried out with a thick Irish accent, as she didn't turn to walk away or cover her eyes from the scene before her. Hell, Bella was still sitting on my cock, her back arched and her mouth wide open as she had just finished coming, rather loudly I might add. I quickly lifted up the comforter from Bella's bed and wrapped it around us, shielding her naked body from this girl. "I'm Siobhan. Don't mind me… just keep getting your hole. Don't let me banjax things while your man is all chubbed up."

_Getting Your Hole – having sex_

_Banjax – ruin_

_Chubbed up – erection_

**A/N: Huge thanks to wetdishrag for all her help with the irish slang! She rocks! Next chapter we're bringing out pig latin and Yiddish! Oy Vey!**


	17. Unexpected

**rRisbee: So, guess what happened to us today?**

**CPW: Umm… we finally started that fan fiction commune we've been talking about. No husbands, no kids, all Rob and fic?**

**Risbee: No, but I like how you think. Today we got nominated for a Giggle Snort Award for Best Bella.**

**CPW: No shit.**

**Risbee: I'm serious and you know how rare that is for me. Anywhoo, we were informed that we needed more people to nominate us for Best Bella, and also not just our little comedy, but others too, so head on over to gigglesnortawards (dot) mmmboptastic(dot) com/nominate (dot) php and nominate us for Best Bella, or anything else you see fit.**

**CPW: I also found out that Maybe I'm Falling For you by me and Flightlessbird11 was nominated for Best Emmett.**

**Risbee: Well he is hilarious, especially with his penis nicknames.**

**CPW: So anyways, so vote for us or anyone else you deem funny enough to get a Giggle Snort Award. The authors would appreciate it.**

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight; but I am still giddy over the Giggle Snort thing. Plus it's just funny to say… Giggle Snort. Tee hee hee.**

**Chapter 17**

I wanted to die. I wanted to curl in to a little teeny tiny ball, shrivel up and die. Grabbing the edge of the comforter, I pulled it over my head as I lay down across Edward's naked and sweaty body, and I couldn't bring myself to enjoy the fact that he was naked. The sweaty I could do without. Still, it was the quickest and fastest way to avoid the situation because if I couldn't see her and if she couldn't see me, then it never happened. Ever. I had never felt so awkward in my entire life, this was even worse than the time I came out of the bathroom at the grade eight valentine's day dance with my dress tucked into my underwear. I wanted to die.

"Hi. I'm Edward Cullen, Bella's boyfriend. This lump here is Bella. Say 'hello' Bella."

_Was he fucking nuts?!?_

"What the hell are you doing?" I whisper-yelled from my hideout. He just thumped me on the head; I guess that was his way of telling me to be quiet. Yeah, like she didn't know I was here.

I reached my hand out from under the covers and waved, but there was no way I was showing my face. Undoubtedly, it was redder than her hair, and that was saying a lot. I mumbled a quick 'hi' from my hideout and prayed that she meant what she said about not minding her and I hoped that she would be leaving soon so I could move home, because there was no way I was going to be able to live here now. Maybe there was a supply closet nearby that could fit a futon?

"Siobhan. Siobhan Connolly. I'm just here to drop off some papers from check in, but I'm gonna bolt cause I'm as weak as a salmon in a sandpit. Do you folks have any bevies? Aw fuck it, I'd come over and shake your hand, but well, I think I'll just stay over here. You two just keep on farting around and I'll be on my way."

"Well, um, things were pretty much, um, yeah...give me five minutes and I can go back to my room and let you two get to know each other."

_Oh hell no, he was not leaving me here with her after this. Not right now._

"Japers, five minutes, huh?" I could hear the laughter in her voice and I was not amused. I wanted to tell her a thing or two about what Edward could do and how he did it and oh, that thing he could do with his tongue. Okay, so maybe it was a bit early in our 'roommate-dom' to discuss things like that, but I was still going to let her know that she was way off the boat. I also made a mental note to discuss with Edward how he learned how to do that, or at the very least get him to do it again. Repeatedly.

"Umm... no, not like that. This certainly didn't take five minutes." Edward stammered nervously. "Bella will attest to the fact that I've got much more stamina than that. Fuck... yeah... you probably didn't need to know that either. Then again, you didn't need to walk in on me giving her the ol' in and out either."

_Oh great. Not only has my roommate has seen me naked but Edward was channeling Renee. Fan-fucking-tastic._

Just as I made the decision to move to London permanently, and as if he could feel my frustration, Edward lifted the covers a bit and whispered 'sorry' before closing me in my cave of humiliation once again. Seriously, how was he not fucking mortified by everything that had happened in the last few minutes? Ugh.

Edward and Siobhan continued to exchange introductions and small talk as I was finding it harder and harder to breathe in my cave. She needed to leave soon; there was only so much I could take of the sex, sweat and feet combo that was filling my nasal cavities. These sheets were so getting washed immediately. Hey, at least I didn't have to worry about fighting anybody for a washing machine since we were here a day early.

"Well I've got a mouth on me, so I'm gunna go find my friends from home and grab some sambos. I'll be back in a couple of hours or so, so keep shagging. It was grand to meet ya Edward. See ya soon, Bella." With a laugh that sounded a bit on the evil side, I heard the door close and she was gone.

"You can come out now."

Sheepishly I crawled out from under the comforter and grinned at Edward before flopping down beside him on my back. "Hi."

"I cannot believe you left me here to defuse that situation." He actually looked mad. Was he mad? Really?

"I can't believe you carried on a two hour conversation with her."

"Yeah, well it was the least I could have done considering the first time she laid eyes on either one of us we were..."

I punched him because I knew that look in his eye. "I swear if you say 'doing the ol' in and out' I will throw your clothes out my window. Just a little suggestion, do not make me think of my mother while we're doing it. And stop laughing at me. I know I said 'it' again. Just shut up."

Suddenly, his mouth was at my ear and every nerve in my body exploded as he did this growl whisper thing. "Bella. We were fucking."

_Oh sweet baby jeebus._

I forgot everything as his mouth found my ear, then my neck and my shoulder. I turned and across the room was this Leprechaun looking thing perched on Siobhan's bed and it totally looked like it was watching us. I needed to talk to Siobhan about that because it had to go somewhere else. Oh shit. Siobhan. My roommate saw me naked.

"I can't do this right now," I sighed as I collapsed back on my pillows and flung my arms over my eyes. "Ten minutes ago, my roommate saw me naked. Before she'd even heard me say a word, she saw me me straddling my naked boyfriend. Before she'd even heard me say a single freakin' word. Ugh."

"Well...technically...she probably has heard you." He was grinning and I had a distinct feeling that I was not going to like where he was going with this. "You were quite, um, vocal about thirty seconds before she walked in the door. In fact, I believe your exact words were 'fuck me harder'. And depending on how long she was out in the hallway she might have even heard 'Holy fuck, shit, more, fuck me'...what was that last one...oh yeah, 'Oh Christ'." Edward looked mighty pleased with himself and I swear to God, if he hadn't been lying down, he would have been strutting.

"Oh. My. God. Edward! What if she heard me, us, me? I have to live with her. I have to live with her knowing that she knows what it sounds like when we... I have to live with her knowing that she knows that I know that she knows what we sound like. I have to move. Kick Emmett out. I'm going to come live with you. I'm..." I got up and started pacing around the room in circles, throwing my hands up in the air and grabbing at my hair and even though Edward was still lying on the bed, I started trying to pull the sheets off my bed because even if I was moving out, they were still getting washed tonight.

"Bella. Calm down. That was so not my point." He grabbed my arm, pulling me down and over him, but I was having none of that right now.

"What exactly was your point then?" I asked as I sat up and started looking for my shirt or his shirt or something to throw on. The last thing I wanted was for Siobhan to come back from… whatever the hell she was doing because I could barely understand her and find us in the exact same position she left us in.

"My point is," and then suddenly the whisper growl was back at my ear and I froze, "my point is, I know you can say more than just 'it'." He smacked my ass as he got up out of bed and as I watched him start to gather up his own clothes and pull his shorts up over his ass, I immediately regretted my decision to be stubborn. "You say it when you're excited and you say it when you're mad. I should be the last person you get shy in front of. Maybe you'll say it for your birthday?"

"_My _birthday?"

"Well, its sooner than mine." he smirked before ducking and dodging the pillow I threw at him. "Missed again. Now throw on some clothes and let's go get some dessert."

"What if we run into Siobhan and her friends?"

"I don't think that's going to be an issue. What are the odds of her having friends from Ireland at UW? I think that was Siobhan's way of making an excuse to leave. I'm pretty sure we're safe, for tonight anyway. I'm going to go shower. Meet me in my room in a few?"

I nodded and watched as he left, closing the door behind him. I finally found my shorts flung on top of my bookshelves and put them on so I could take the sheets to the laundry room and have them washing as I showered. Just like I knew it would be, the laundry room was abandoned, so I quickly threw my laundry in the first machine I came to and rushed back to my room to clean up. I paused for a second when I heard a voice that sounded oddly familiar, but when I couldn't place it I continued on, but with sudden urge to call Nettie and see how things were going with her. I missed her random facts.

I sent her a quick text when I got back to the room because I knew it had to be late on the east coast, but I wanted her to know I had been thinking about her. I grabbed my shower caddy out of my closet and put on my flip flops because there was no way my feet were touching the shower floor, private bathroom or not. I was not about to get some flesh eating foot disease. Have you seen a college shower lately? Instant shudder.

Aside from the ick factor, the shower wasn't too bad. The water pressure was decent and the temperature didn't fluctuate too much. It was just a question of learning the sounds around me and by the time I finished washing my hair, I considered myself an expert on all things shower related. I dried off quickly and wrapped my towel around me before returning back to my room and running smack dab into Siobhan.

"Umph. Sorry," I winced and rubbed my shoulder because, no lie, the girl was solid. "Well, I guess I should probably introduce myself, though this does seem a bit backwards. I'm Bella." I held out my hand, holding my towel closed with the other.

"What kind of scrubber did they pair me up with? Do you ever wear clothes?" Oh this was not going well. I stared at her, not exactly sure what to say or if there was anything I could say that would help the situation. So, instead I gaped at her with my mouth open like a fish.

"Oh lighten up ya, vixen. I was just having some fun with yeh. If my Seamus looked like your Edward, I'd be traipsing around in the nip all the time too." She gave me a wink and continued to unpack. "Speaking of Edward, he's not going to come round here in a few minutes in just a towel is he? I'd like to not look like a plonker or get caught staring at his knob."

"Oh. Um. I don't think so, no. He went back to his room. We're going to go get some dessert." I was still standing there, not quite sure if she was kidding or not because her slang was a bit odd, but I was hoping that she was talking about not seeing his thing. Though the fact that she was talking about my Edward was a bit familiar. The girl had balls. There, I said balls. Edward would be proud. I grabbed a bra and some panties out of my still not unpacked suitcase and put them on underneath my towel. I then grabbed a cotton dress that wasn't too wrinkled out of a hanging bag in my closet and threw it on because I was totally self-conscious about being naked around this girl. "Do you want to… oh holy shit!" I cringed and covered my ears trying to protect myself from the horror.

Siobhan apparently had set up her music while I was gone because suddenly the air was filled with the sounds of what could only be described as I don't even know what. The closest I could come up with was the sound of a narwhal mating with Fran Drescher, but even that wasn't horrific enough.

"Gobsmacked? Ain't they deadly? It's my Seamus' band. He's a rugger bugger who didn't get into the music program here cause he's such an eejit, so he's touring with his band. He's my eejit though."

Oh Jesus Christ, they were touring.

"He downloaded this tune for me because he knew I couldn't fall asleep to anything but the sound of his voice, or a pint of the black stuff."

"You're not serious." I stared at her dumbstruck. She SLEPT to this? "Yeah, um, I can't have extra noise when I sleep. A little white noise maybe, but maybe you could use some headphones?"

"Are ye banjaxed? They put me in the room with a Sheila. Look missy, I know yer type. You're an only child who probably has never had to scrap for anything a day in her life. I shouldn't a ben surprised to walk in this afternoon to find you snogging yer man. Leave oul dear and oul fella and you have to rebel. Have to suck diesel. Going for the shock factor the only way you know how. Wouldn't yer parents be devastated to know their wee little Princess was a slapper?" She rolled her eyes before continuing. "I know what it's like to suffer Princess. You wouldn't last two minutes in my world without shitting bricks, literally. So, if the voice of my love is what I need to sleep, then I'll be damned if some spoiled little scanger, who is gunna be sleeping in her fella's room more than her own, is gunna tell me what I can and can't do. Yer thick as a ditch then, cause it ain't gonna happen."

Of course, Edward and Emmett choose this time to come in the room. Without knocking. Fantastic. "Bella? Are you ok? I tried to call but you didn't answer."

_It was probably because I couldn't hear my phone over the sound of dying monkeys._

"See. The hardchaw and his sidekick don't even think of the wee people. They just walk on in like they own the place." She walked over to her iPod and picked it up off the docking station before storming off out the door.

_I was rooming with crazy._

Emmett and Edward and I just stared at each other. I wasn't sure what to say or how to react or what. My ears were ringing so bad that I felt like my head was in a bell. I needed to get out of here. "Let's just go. I'll deal with her tomorrow." I went to go pick my purse up of my bed when I noticed the bare mattress and realized that my sheets were still in the dryer and I honestly couldn't remember where my other sets were in all the gazillions of boxes in my room. "Damn it. Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Sure baby. You know you don't have ask."

"Thanks." I was grabbing some pajamas out of my bag when there was a knock at the door. "Siobhan must have forgotten her key." I opened it to find, not Siobhan, but my Resident Advisor, Rosalie. This night just kept getting better and better.

"Bella, look, I know you freshmen are all excited about being on your own and away from mommy and daddy," she began to say as I looked at her incredulously. _What the fuck, was there a theme tonight?_ I thought to myself in frustration as she began speaking again. "But you need to keep it down. I know classes haven't started yet, but some of us already have to study. I took this job for the single room, not for the babysitting duties."

"You may need to talk to my roommate Siobhan then. You'd be doing the entire campus a favor if you could get her to tone it down a bit." Rosalie stepped into the room, looking for Siobhan, before spotting the two guys standing in the corner covering their mouths and trying not to laugh. I could see her puff up like she was about to knock them both down a peg or two, but what came out of her mouth was the last thing I expected. "Emmett?"

"Rosalie"

_They knew each other? How the fuck did they know each other?_

I looked at Edward, but he just shrugged his shoulders, clearly as confused as I was. I looked back at Emmett, but he was staring at Rosalie. When I finally I looked over Rosalie… she took off, running like a bat out of hell down the hallway. So I looked back at Emmett again.

"Is there something I should probably know about, Emmett McCarty? That was my RA that just left here. Right after she saw you. In my room." I started stalking towards him because damn it this night was not going the way I wanted it to go. Emmett reached up and started grabbing and scratching at the back of his neck and stubbing the toes of his shoes on the ground, looking suspiciously like a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Although something told me in this particular case, it was neither his hand nor the cookie jar.

"Umm... yeah, I kinda... sorta... I know her...let's just leave it at that." He refused to make eye contact with either me or Edward and started to inch towards the door as though he thought he could make a quick getaway. Yeah, that was not gonna happen.

"You kinda know her? Either you know her or you don't Emmett. That's like being a little pregnant." My mind was starting to get carried away and I was conjuring up all these situations, each of them worse than the other.

"IfuckedherandIthinkI'minlovewithherokay?" he mumbled.

"What was that?" By this point I was almost nose to nose with him, not an easy feat considering he was a good eight inches taller than me, but it happened.

"I fucked her and I think I'm in love with her."

Edward just stared at him with his mouth wide open. "The one from June...son of a bitch...that was her?" Emmett just nodded, his shoulders slumped and he looked, well, different.

Oh my God. I think I believe him.

School just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

**EPOV**

One of the great things about attending UW was that fact that, unlike at Forks High School, you don't actually jump right into the fire on the first day of school. Mr. Banner always loved giving us assignments on the first day back to school and it was a pain in the ass.

Instead, we had a beautiful, stress free week known as Freshman Orientation. Monday was basically used for students to get their class assignments and book lists, meeting with professors and learning their way around campus. Bella and I hadn't been to the campus since we took the prospective students tour the previous October. Emmett, as we know full well knew, had been here a few months ago. Although I doubt he left the dorms or Rosalie's bedroom, to take a tour of the school.

Unfortunately for me, we were all in different programs, so while Emmett went off to check out his Architecture classes and Bella went off with Candace, a girl from her floor that was also in her Journalism program, I was left heading off to film studies by myself. I walked through the doors of Raitt Hall, looking for room 116, where we had a 10 o'clock meeting with our History in Film teacher, Professor Shea. The first year film students were split into several smaller groups for these meetings, which would also serve as an introduction to some of our classmates.

Room 116 sat about 30 students, and I took a seat near the back as I waited patiently for the professor to arrive. A small blonde girl, who smelled overwhelming like bubblegum sat down beside me and looked at me intently before speaking. I could already tell I wouldn't like her very much. "I'm Claire," she said with a smile as she offered her perfectly manicured hand to me.

"Edward."

"Interesting. I pictured you as an Ethan or an Owen or something. It's rare to find someone with an old fashioned name these days. Well, I knew a girl in high school back in Oklahoma City who was named Alice and she used to get teased a lot because of her name," she mused cheerfully.

"My little sister's name is Alice," I replied sternly as she cracked a small anxious smile and looked a bit remorseful.

"Oh… I'm sure she's awesome. How old is she? I have three younger brothers, 3, 7 and 9, and I also have a younger sister who is 15. Apparently my parents didn't know anything about birth control and were attempting to repopulate the state," Claire added nervously as I tried not to laugh at her inability to shut the hell up. Instead, I simply rolled my eyes and looked straight ahead. "Anti-social huh?"

"Just tired actually. I've had a long few days," I admitted as she smiled again. She then began blathering on about how she moved into her dorm room at McMahon Hall, and found out she was rooming with a hippie, pot smoking lesbian from North Dakota who was taking woman's studies and thought Gloria Steinem was a goddess. For a brief shining moment, I thanked the sweet lord for rooming me with Emmett, cause with my luck, who knows who I would have ended up with.

I thought Claire was never going to shut the fuck up, until Professor Shea walked in and called the room to order. He was a rather unassuming man in his late fifties who was going bald on the top of his head, so he decided to grow it long in the back. His light brown jacket had patches on the elbows and I began imagining him sitting around in his living room, smoking up and talking about the good old days when he used to follow the Grateful Dead in his beat up VW bus. However, these days he probably only had a Jerry Bear sticker on the bumper of his 1989 Volvo Turbo Wagon to remind him of his past.

I tried my best to pay attention as he handed out our reading list for the semester and he made each one of us stand up and introduce ourselves. We were forced to explain where we were from and what made us decide to take film studies, most people inspired by some sort of director, actor or movie that affected their life. There were the usual declarations of love for Spielberg and Lucas, a random mention of Orson Welles and one person who thought that Chris Columbus was the best director ever for making the first two Harry Potter films and Home Alone. I could tell Professor Shea wasn't overly impressed with that comment, but I think I surprised everyone in the room when I stood up and took my turn.

"Uh… I'm Edward from Forks, Washington. I was compelled to take film because when I was younger my grandfather used to always tell me very vivid stories about his life growing up, and my imagination would run wild, picturing these scenarios which came to life in my mind. Then I fell in love with a girl who constantly reminds me that I can do anything I set my mind to, so here I sit, eager to bring to life stories that are compelling, interesting and matter to someone. Even if that someone is only me."

There was an odd silence as I sat down and then Professor Shea moved onto the next student, a guy named Patrick from Renton who loved Hugh Grant. I just rolled my eyes and looked at notebook on my desk, drawing small designs into the margins until the professor finally excused us an hour later. When I walked out of Raitt Hall, the warm mid day sun shining down on me, I was shocked when I felt Claire grab my arm.

"Did you um… want to go get lunch or something?" I couldn't help but look down and see her fingers anxiously clutching the book list we had gotten in class. She was nervous about asking me out and I felt horrible because I really hadn't led her on. Hell, we had barely talked.

"That's really sweet of you to ask but…" I began to say as Claire cheerfully interrupted me.

"Awesome. I've wanted to try By George down at Odegaard. Does that sound good to you?" she asked, the excitement clear in her eyes as I suddenly clutched tighter at my backpack and let out a big sigh.

"Actually, what I was trying to say was that it was sweet of you to offer, but I've got plans to meet my _girlfriend_ and best friend," I said coolly, emphasizing the fact that I had a girlfriend who was actually on campus. I knew it was pretty rare these days for the high school boyfriend and girlfriend to actually attend the same college, so I wanted to make sure Claire knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I wasn't single or looking. "Speaking of which, here she comes now."

Claire followed my gaze to see Bella practically skipping over to the two of us with a huge smile on her face. I was suddenly very pleased that her main building, Derry Hall, was right across the way from Raitt. "So, the head of the journalism department has won a Peabody and a Payne Award for ethics in journalism. Why didn't I know that beforehand?" Bella asked as she looked at me as though I should have known the answer to her question. I just shrugged my shoulders as she looked over at Claire and quirked her eyebrow suspiciously. "And who is this?"

"Bella, this is Claire, one of my classmates," I said simply as I turned towards Claire. "Claire, this is Bella, my girlfriend." I felt anxious as I watched the girls shake hands and size each other up. I knew that Bella had nothing to be jealous about, but she had no idea what had happened in my class in the past hour, so I could sense she was on edge.

"Nice to meet you Bella."

"Well, it was great to meet you too," Bella stated succinctly as she looked at me with narrowed eyes. "However, Emmett called me two minutes ago and said we had to meet him at the HUB immediately because he needed to talk. I have a feeling it has something to do with my RA, who we met yesterday." Of course, how could I forget meeting Bella's RA yesterday? Rosalie Hale was all Emmett could talk about the moment we got back to our room. "He was talking in complete sentences and with proper grammar. Something is definitely wrong."

I laughed easily at Bella's remark and she entwined her fingers in mine before tugging me away. "I'll see you in class Claire," I said as Bella pulled harder and we began making our way across campus to the HUB to find Emmett.

"You do realize I am coming with you right and you didn't need to pull me away from her?"

"That depends, did you realize she was all over you and was practically eye-fucking you?" Bella replied, her voice laced with anger as I stopped dead in my tracks. She quickly turned around and stared at me, with a small hint of remorse in her expression. "I'm sorry. I'm frustrated at Claire, not at you."

"Please do me a huge favor Bella, remember that I love you, not anyone else. I couldn't help the fact that she asked me out for lunch," I stated as Bella looked even more livid to find out that Claire had actually asked me out. "I said no and reiterated to her that I had a girlfriend. Plus, if it helps at all, in the five minutes I talked to her before class, she annoyed the hell out of me."

Bella let out a small laugh and I walked towards her, draping my arm over her shoulder and kissing her temple sweetly. "How annoying?"

"She talked about her parents who fornicate like bunnies and her crazy hippie roommate the entire time. She also mentioned patchouli and wheatgrass more than I ever thought possible in one conversation. It made me relieved that I ended up with Emmett as a roommate." Bella leaned into my body, her head resting on my shoulder as she continued to laugh and we headed into the HUB, UW's Student Union Building.

"I'm sorry about that by the way. I was used to girls hitting on you back in Forks, but it's different now that we are actually dating."

"Are you implying that you never got jealous when one of the girls back home hit on me?"

"Not at all. You couldn't even fathom some of the disturbing ways I planned to dispose of the girls back in Forks. Angela always encouraged my madness though, and promised to be my alibi should I actually snap off Jessica's head and throw into the ocean down at First Beach, like I dreamed of doing." I let out a huge laugh and kissed Bella's cheek as we suddenly heard Emmett shouting out for us from across the food court.

We wandered over and found Emmett with food from three different restaurants in front of him. Perhaps he was worse off than I thought.

"Do you really need Subway, pasta and a burger for lunch?" Bella asked, reading my mind. I had seen Emmett stressed before, but never to the point where he was eating this much. He actually had a foot long meatball sub, a double-decker hamburger, French fries and a huge bowl of fettuccine alfredo sitting in front of him on the small table. "This is ridiculous."

"Did you loosen your belt already? Where are you going to put all this food?" I asked incredulously as I pulled out a chair for Bella and then sat down beside her, resting my book bag on empty chair between Emmett and me. Emmett just mumbled something with his mouth full, a few bits of hamburger bun falling from the side of his mouth as Bella and I eyed him suspiciously. "Just tell us what is wrong."

"It's Rosalie," he finally said as he grabbed his fountain drink and began chugging it back as he looked around the room anxiously. "She's my fucking TA." Emmett then sat back for a moment and recounted to us how he wandered into his Architecture orientation fully prepared to meet Professor Clausen, his Architectural History professor, but instead he came face to face with Rosalie, who was standing in for Clausen because she had a family emergency to attend to.

"We seriously stared each other down for the entire class, and the only thing I could think about was how good it felt when I was fucking her all those months ago. She was so responsive, moaning my name loudly the entire time and did I mention she was tight, like… oh my god… so fucking good," Emmett said bluntly as I rolled my eyes and Bella sat there looking mortified.

"No one within a million mile radius of this school wants to hear anything about where your dangle has been. Especially, when it involves my resident advisor," Bella declared firmly as Emmett looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Did you just call my dick a dangle?" Then Emmett looked at Bella with a grin on his face as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Listen, my girl has an issue with penis names. My dick isn't complaining, so neither am I." Emmett and Bella both groaned as I shook my head and tried to ignore the fact that we had been talking about Emmett's dick for a lot longer than I ever wanted to. He took another huge sip of his drink and shoved a few fries into his mouth before deciding to talk again.

"So anyways, not only have I been lusting after a girl who is three years older than me and clearly not interested in me, but now she is my TA which means she is 100 percent out of my reach," I let out a small sigh as Emmett grabbed his sub and took a huge bite.

"I see that food is clearly your coping mechanism. Might I recommend running instead?" Bella suggested as Emmett looked up from his food and growled at her. I went to hand Bella my meal plan card, but she motioned me away with her hand, as I attempted to defuse the situation. She offered to grab me a sandwich when she mentioned she was hungry for something from Subway and I just nodded my head, trusting that she would know what to get me. Bella kissed me gently and as she walked away, I turned to Emmett and became very serious.

"What did you tell me when I told you how I felt about Bella?"

"Hit that?" Emmett replied with a small shrug.

"No dipshit, you told me to go for it and let nothing get in my way." Emmett's eyes widened slightly at my words as he seemed to come to a realization. "You need to think about what you really want Emmett. Where's the cocky jock that used to brag about all the girls he slept with?"

"I haven't actually… um… shit," he said as he grabbed at the hair at the back of his neck nervously. "I haven't slept with that many girls. In fact, Rosalie was the last girl I slept with." I opened my mouth and feigned surprise, because I had already noticed this, but he clearly didn't think I had. However, it was obvious that after his encounter with Rosalie last June that he was somewhat changed.

"I'm shocked, but happy for you. She might be the one Emmett. Do you really wanna let something like a small age difference get in your way?"

"She's my TA though. Couldn't she get in trouble for fraternizing with me?"

"Emmett, just talk to her and try to find out how she feels about you. It's a moot point and no harm, no foul if she shuts you down, right? Well, there may be a small hit to your ego, but what if she likes you too? She can probably switch classes that she TA's for; after all, the school year hasn't technically started yet."

"What the fuck is a moo point?" Emmett asked, clearly confused by my remark.

"It's a cow's opinion," said Bella with a laugh as she returned with our lunch and sat back down beside me, sliding the tray with our sandwiches onto the table. Emmett looked at us even more confused now as Bella simply laughed harder at her Friends reference. Emmett shoved some more food into his mouth and we ended up spending the next thirty minutes trying to reassure him to take a chance with Rosalie. Even Bella reminded him that if he didn't at least try, he would regret it forever. Plus, she emphasized how much time apart she and I spent because we were either too stupid or oblivious to say anything about how we felt about the other.

When we finally left the HUB to head to the University Bookstore, Emmett was all excited about the prospect of seeing Rosalie again. Bella had given him her room number and made Emmett promise not to tell her that it was from her that he got the info. She didn't exactly want to be an accessory to Emmett's efforts, and I didn't blame her. We all pulled out our book lists, deciding to check out the used books first to see if we could save a few bucks.

As I grasped the handle of the front door to the bookstore, I noticed a tall, lanky and somewhat familiar looking guy walking out and Bella gasped beside me, causing my mind to wonder how the hell I knew this guy, because she clearly knew him too.

"Liam… is that you?"

Irish to English dictionary:

Japers = Wow / Got A Mouth on Me = hungry / Sambos = sandwiches / Pint of the Black Stuff = Guiness / Banjaxed = Crazy / Sheila = Girl / Scrubber = Slut / In the Nip = Naked / Plonker = Idiot / Rugger Bugger = Rugby Fan / Oul Dear and Oul Fella = Mom & Dad / Suck Diesel= Having a Good Time / Slapper = Slut / Scanger= stupid female / Thick as a Ditch = Idiot / Hardchaw = rough person

**A/N: Thanks to wetdishrag for the irish help and to MaggieMay14 for her awesome betaness.**

**On another note, CPW and Risbee have joined the wonderful world of facebook. You can find us as coldplaywhore fanfiction and risbee fanfic respectively. We're not that exciting, but we may drop some teasers for ABM on there.**

**Also, CPW is nominated for Best Author in the Twilight All Human Fanfic Awards: twilightallhumanawards (dot) webs (dot) com / nominate (dot) htm . Check it out, and go nominate some of your favorite stories and authors who you consider deserving. Thanks to whomever nominated CPW, you rock.**


	18. Trouble

**CPW: So, we're back again. Happy Sunday All! Go Montreal!**

**Risbee: Why don't you discuss something people actually care about?**

**CPW: Oh and you don't think people care about my beloved Montreal Canadiens making into the Eastern Conference Final.**

**Risbee: Ummm… no. How about I tell them about the Giggle Snort Awards?**

**CPW: Feel free sugar tits!**

**Risbee: Alrighty then. That was random. Anywhoo, CPW and I were nominated for a Giggle Snort Award for Best Bella. All the nominees are listed at gigglesnortawards (dot) mmmboptastic (dot) com / nominations (dot) php. Voting opens on May 20****th****. So please vote for your favorites, even if it's not us. The authors would love it.**

**CPW: You're so nice.**

**Risbee: It's my one flaw.**

**CPW: I knew you had to have one. We don't own Twilight; we just like to do wonderfully wacky things with them.**

**BPOV**

"Liam, is that you?" I stood there in shock, not totally convinced that I wasn't imagining things. Why was he here? He never said anything about attending UW, at least I couldn't remember him saying anything, and we spent a lot of time talking about life back home and what our plans were. Huh.

"Bella!" He grinned and dropped his things on the ground before grabbing me in a tight hug.

Oof.

"Where have you been, loca?" Ummmm...ok.

"I've been here a whole," I glanced at my watch. "almost seventy-two hours. What do you mean where have I been? And I'm not so sure you should be the one asking questions, mister. What are you doing here? You didn't tell me you were coming to UW. I can't believe you are actually here!" I started bouncing up and down because it was just so awesome to see him again, and such a complete surprise.

"Well, I wasn't so sure it was going to work out actually," he answered with a wink. "I was on the wait list originally so I had resigned myself to going to school back home in Oregon and transferring to UW next year, but I got in. So, while we were in Europe I had to let the other school know I wasn't coming and get all registered here and there were a few snafus with my paperwork, but it all got straightened up a week or so ago. I just didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. You know, I didn't want to get your hopes up until I knew it was a done deal. Funny how things always seem to work out the way they're supposed to, right?"

At this point I noticed that he was holding my hand, which seemed a little weird, but I just chalked it up to his being excited to see a familiar face. And really, he was one of my best friends and like a brother to me. I knew I was beyond thrilled. We were so close in Europe and I knew that I had missed everybody so much...so I gave his hand a little squeeze of reassurance and turned to officially introduce him to Edward and Emmett.

"Liam, this is Emmett. Emmett, Liam Nelson."

"Sup?" They both did the man nod acknowledgment thing and eyed each other not really caring that the other was there. In fact, Emmett disregarded all of us and walked over to the tables in the area where a few people were setting up for Greek rush registration. I couldn't help but think that he was being kind of rude.

"Liam, this is my Edward. Edward, this is Liam." This was so fuckin' awesome! I finally had somebody here to talk to about the summer and I could finally give Edward a break because as awesome as he was at faking it, I knew he had to be tired of listening to me yammer on and on about it. I didn't blame him at all, honestly. Most of my stories ended with 'well, I guess you had to be there' these days, so it was quite possible that he'd be more excited to see Liam than I was.

"How's it goin', man?" Liam held his hand out to Edward who just looked at Liam, then me, then Liam's hand. It wasn't until I glared at Edward that he finally reached out and shook his hand slowly, and not before taking my other hand in his. So there we were - Liam was holding my hand, Edward was holding my other hand and the two boys were shaking hands, but in a not so warm and fuzzy way. We looked like we were playing an antagonistic version of 'Ring around the Rosie'. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

Huh, maybe he wasn't so excited to see him, but he couldn't seriously be jealous. I mean, it was Liam for Christ's sake. In my eyes, he was about as much of a threat as Mr. Rogers. I had a feeling that we were going to have to have a talk about the entire situation, but now was not the time, nor the place. I tried to nonchalantly extract my hand from Liam', and once I did, I walked over to stand next to Edward, who promptly put his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. Dude, why didn't you just go ahead and pee on me while you're at it, and why was Emmett suddenly standing on my other side staring at Liam. Um, totally not necessary. I may or may not have stomped on his foot.

"Where are you living this year? The three of us are in Mercer." I needed to get the conversation moving otherwise the situation was going to get even more uncomfortable. "We totally lucked out. These two are living together and I'm living with a girl from Ireland, so that's pretty cool."

"Well, actually, I'm in temporary housing off campus until they know who is here and who isn't or until somebody gets homesick and goes home to their mommy. Once they get the numbers and registrations straight, I'll move into a room somewhere. It kinda sucks not being able to really unpack, but that's what I get for applying last minute," Liam said with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. "Hey, maybe I'll end up in Mercer too. How awesome would that be? Just like old times!" He looked really excited at the prospect but he was the only one. As glad as I was to see him, I was getting the feeling that it would be better if he and Edward weren't in the same place all that often.

"I thought you said you were wait-listed?" Edward asked him, suddenly interested in the conversation and moving me closer to him.

"I meant accepting last minute...I went out last night. Still a little muddle-brained, ya know," Liam chuckled anxiously. "Bella, I'll let you know when these guys I went out with last night have another party. Remember that pub in London...with the karaoke? It was like that. Edward, man, your girl can belt out some Violent Femmes. You should have heard her. It was a night I'll never forget, that's for sure."

"Oh, I know all about Bella's abilities." What the mother fuck?

"Liam, I'm so happy to see you and I can't wait to catch up," I could feel Edward start to tense up, so I not so discreetly elbowed him in the ribs. "But Edward and I really need to get to the bookstore before it gets too crazy. And we really need to get moving before Emmett gets hungry again because that's never a pretty thing to witness. Put your number in my phone and I'll give you mine; we'll talk soon." I handed him my phone and we exchanged numbers with the promise to talk in a few days. That would give me time to let Edward chill out a bit and I could make sure that he knew Liam was harmless. Because he was.

I gave him a quick hug goodbye, but as soon as Liam was out of earshot I turned on the two boys. "What the hell was that? Liam is a friend of mine. He totally knows you're my boyfriend and that I love you. In fact, he was one of the few lucky individuals that saw me mope around for the first two weeks I was gone. He was there when I cried and he was there when Nettie had to go sleep in their room because I was making too much noise talking about you in my sleep. I'm excited to see my friend, Edward. And you," I turned to Emmett, "what is your problem with him?"

"He was looking at you, Bella."

"He was looking at me? Oh really? You mean to tell me that somebody I was having a conversation with had the audacity to look at me? What in the world was he thinking?" I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Listen to me, both of you. Liam means a lot to me in a strictly platonic, 'not a chance in hell that I'd ever look at him romantically way." I paused going over my words in my head again wondering if they made sense, which they did.

"I just don't trust him Bella, and I don't think his feelings toward you are as platonic as you seem to think they are."

"Give him a break. Hell, give me a break. I love you…only you, and there's nobody else that I want to love. Well, except for Johnny Depp." Edward growled. That was hot, but I was somewhat pissed and hearing Emmett whisper to Edward did not help things.

"No Emmett, I am NOT on my period, I am not PMS'ing and I am not moody. I am angry because I really, REALLY thought that maybe you guys would be excited that I actually knew somebody here that knows me for me. Not the Chief's daughter, not the smart girl, not Edward's best friend or girlfriend." I stood up straight because it felt good to actually stand up for myself. "Now, I'm going to go get my books. Are you coming with me or not?"

They quickly agreed because I honestly thought they were a little afraid of me, but I didn't care. Europe was a huge part of my life, and Liam was a part of that, but that was all he was. He was about as much of a threat as Nettie. Ugh. Edward and I really needed to sit down and get this shit straight because it was ridiculous. Even if he didn't trust Liam, he should trust me.

The bookstore was a madhouse. So much for getting in and out before the rush, and don't even get me started on the fact that I spent close to $400 on books that I would only need for three or four months. It was crazy. People were rude and I had a hard time finding everything, but we made it out alive and Edward and I actually managed to find ourselves alone in an aisle, which obviously provided the perfect opportunity to sneak in a few heated kisses and gropes.

Sure, I was still a little irritated at him but maybe territorial Edward wasn't such a bad thing after all. With that thought, I was suddenly in a hurry to get back to the dorm. I wasn't sure where Siobhan was at that particular moment, but I contemplated the possibility of walking by the dining hall and losing Emmett on the way. Maybe?

Yeah, no such luck. He was stuck to us like white on rice, which really seemed a bit strange for him. That was another thing I wanted to talk with Edward about. I was dying to find out more about the Rosalie situation because it was really strange to see Emmett so affected by a girl. Who knew he was capable of such feelings. Still, it was almost like he was afraid to be alone with her, and if he was with us, then his risk lessened considerably and that sucked big time. I don't know. Maybe tonight was a good night for a little roommate bonding?

I really hadn't spent any quality time with Siobhan; I didn't even know exactly where in Ireland she was from. She was still a little miffed about the music/noise/earphones issue, but I was able to at least pin that on the dorm rules. I thought it might be a good idea to talk and go to dinner with Siobhan and then Edward and Emmett could talk. Then maybe the four of us could meet up and go to a movie or something afterwards. Everything just seemed so unsettled right now.

The boys helped me get all my books to my room and I was about to spring my idea on everybody when Siobhan went berserk.

"What in the ever living hell do you have on?"

I looked down at my skirt and t-shirt before shrugging. "I just...."

"Not you, yeh bird. Him." She pointed at Emmett, but I still didn't get it.

"Dude, I totally take it back about Bella being wacko. Clearly it's not her." He stage whispered to Edward, which did not help matters.

"Mr. Fecking Tayto Head. Do you have no decency at all? Did your ma not raise you to be considerate of others? That's what's bogey with you Americans."

Seriously? What in the hell was she going on about?

"Now hold on. There is nothing wrong with the Spud Muffin." Emmett pointed to his chest and I couldn't help but laugh. He was wearing a dark blue colored shirt with a picture of Mr. Potato Head on it, with the title 'Spud Muffin' written in bold letting below it. It was ridiculous, yet perfect for Em. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I looked down to see a new text message. I answered it quickly and put the phone back in my pocket, hoping I wasn't calling too much attention to myself.

"What in the hell is going on?" I mouthed to Edward as Siobhan and Emmett traded insults back and forth. He just shrugged as we continued to watch the train wreck unfold in front of us. "This is better than Springer."

My phone buzzed again and as I went to go read the message, one of Siobhan's flailing arms hit it out of my hand and I watched as it landed at Edwards' feet. He bent down to pick it up and as he handed it to me, he did not look amused. "Well, he certainly wasted no time."

"I'm not going to get into this right now. If it gets any louder in here, Rosalie will show up and then won't that be fun."

"And you're going to meet him for coffee?" Well I guess that meant he did see my message then.

"Actually, he originally wanted to meet for dinner to catch up, but I said no. Coffee was my idea. Another night. If you had given me a chance, I would have invited you to come with us." We stared at each other while Emmett and Siobhan continued to get into it, their voices getting louder and louder.

"I don't give a rat's ass what your father's brother's cousin told you, we call it football. I'll give you the fact that Conan O'Brian was railroaded but Mr. Potato Head is not a symbol of American oppression. Jesus fuck woman, you're certifiable."

"Look you overgrown bag-ball, you don't see the issue with the fact that a babby is given a tayto that they can change and manipulate to reflect their ideal? Hello? It is no different than the immigrants being given new names on Ellis Island. It reeks of cultural repression and it sickens me."

I finally had had enough. "You know what. Fuck it. Edward and Emmett, just leave. I was going to suggest the four of us meet up later, but that's probably not the best idea. You two go grab some dinner and we'll talk later, okay?" Emmett stormed out and I walked Edward to the open door. "Baby, I love you. I really do. Go calm him down, get the goods on Rosalie, think about what I've said and call me when you get back to your room. I'm going to take Siobhan to dinner."

"Just think about things from my perspective, Bella. I know he was a good friend to you..."

"Is a good friend," I corrected.

"Fine, is a good friend, but I just don't think you see him clearly. I'm not going to make you stay away from him, but just keep your eyes open. You've romanticized your trip so much, and rightfully so, that I just don't think you're capable of being objective. That's all I want." He leaned in and kissed me gently and for a minute I thought I was a bit harsh, but he needed to see things from my side too. Fair was fair. "I'll call you in a couple of hours."

Then he was gone.

"So Siobhan, what do you say to some dinner?"

**EPOV **

When Emmett and I got back into our room, I threw my book bag down on my bed and let out a small groan, which did not go unheard by Em.

"Liam's a douche," he said stoically as he pulled a few books out of the canvas bag he got at the campus bookstore and began putting them onto his desk. "Could he have been eye fucking Bella more?" he questioned as my mind began running wild. I thought Liam was being a little overt and way too friendly, but I thought I was being unreasonable because he was a guy who clearly had a history with Bella. A history that in no way involved me, which was a bit disconcerting. However, knowing that Emmett felt the same way about this guy that I did, just made it ten times worse for me.

"You noticed that too huh?" I commented casually, trying not to act like a jealous prick.

"Dude, Stevie Wonder would have noticed that and he's…"

"Yeah Em, I know... he's blind."

"Right," he muttered with a laugh. "Anyways, don't worry. I've got your back. I'll keep my eye on that slime ball, because I do not trust him at all, and I'll make sure he gets nowhere near our Bella."

"Our Bella?" I asked as I raised my eyebrow curiously.

"Yeah… our Bella. She's one of my closest friends in addition to being your girlfriend; I think I can refer to her as ours." I gave a small shrug of my shoulders and decided that Emmett was right, I didn't trust Liam.

Emmett and I spent the next few hours lounging around our room and we finished unpacking. We may have also discussed severely painful ways of torture for Liam, should he ever lay a hand on my girl. I knew I was becoming a possessive jerk, but I couldn't help it. The way Liam looked at Bella reminded me of how I used to look at her before we were together and I didn't want him to interfere with anything. Bella and I were perfect just as we were and I certainly didn't want him to swoop in and ruin everything that we had worked so hard for.

As dinner time approached, as evidenced by the groaning of Emmett's bottomless pit of a stomach, we agreed to head back to the HUB for dinner. Emmett hadn't had Greek when he was there earlier and suddenly had a hankering for some souvlaki. I decided to give Bella a quick call, hoping she had calmed down from our earlier interaction and maybe I could talk her into going to dinner with us. It was a long shot, but I wasn't against trying.

"Whatcha doin?" I asked when Bella answered the phone, sounding slightly out of breath.

"I was moving my last full box, getting ready to empty it. Why, what's up?" she questioned as I heard her let out a small sigh, most likely cause she was finally sitting down.

"Emmett and I are going to head over to get some dinner at the HUB. Are you sure you girls don't wanna come?"

"I already told you that I was taking Siobhan out for dinner. She mentioned going to some Irish pub here in town, so I jumped at the chance," said Bella with a laugh. "She kept going on about Corned Beef and Cabbage as well as something called Bangers and Mash. None of it really sounded appealing, but I thought I should make an effort to get to know her right?"

"Yeah, of course you should," I replied as a small smile broke out across my face. I suddenly began plotting getting Siobhan on my side and having her keep an eye on Liam if he began coming around more often. "Well, I hope you girls have fun. Take your cell phone so I can call you later. If Em steps out of the room for even 5 minutes, I want you to come over. We haven't had enough us time today."

"I know. I may still be thinking about everything that happened last night, before Siobhan burst into the room."

"Mmm… you liked that?"

"Uh yeah… have I ever complained about your sexual abilities?"

"No, but we've only done it like three times, one of which on a car and the other was in a car."

"Well, we should break in your bed Edward. It's only fair right?"

"Right. Any chance you can come over now?" I asked as I adjusted myself slightly and Emmett walked back into the room after having been in our bathroom.

"Oh gross man, can't you put it away for two seconds?" Emmett shouted as I heard Bella gasp on the other end of the phone.

"Did you have it out?" she asked quietly, as I let out a groan.

"No. I didn't have my dick out. Emmett, shut the fuck up." He stood still and saluted me as I flipped my middle finger at him. "Ok… we're going to go eat before Emmett shrivels up and dies. I'll call you later baby."

"I love you."

"I love you too Bella." I hung up the phone and looked over towards the door where Emmett was wrapping his arms around his shoulder, moving them up and down and making kissing noise, as he pretended to make out with someone. Fuck, he was a childish imbecile sometimes. "Shut your piehole, asshole. Let's go." I grabbed my wallet off my dresser and shoved it in my back pocket. Just as Emmett opened the door, there stood Rosalie with her hand raised as if she was about to knock on our door.

"Umm… hi," she said quietly as she looked up at Emmett with a small smile. "Can we talk in private for a minute?"

"Anything you have to say to me can be said in front of my best friend here," replied Emmett as he lifted his arm up and draped it over my shoulder as though I was his girlfriend or something. Rosalie walked in and closed the door behind her as I quickly pulled away from Em and tried to slip out of the room, but Emmett wouldn't allow it. "Don't you dare leave."

"Come on Em, you and Rosalie here clearly have to have a discussion and I don't want to be in the middle."

"I want witnesses."

"Why the hell would you need witnesses Emmett?" I questioned as he glanced from me to Rosalie.

"Last time I was alone in a room with this girl she took advantage of me." Rosalie and I both let out a loud laugh as Emmett simply narrowed his eyes at both of us, clearly fuming. "Fine, she didn't take advantage of me seeing as we were both sufficiently drunk."

"You were the one who snuck out without even leaving your number," Rosalie responded angrily as Emmett looked at her with shock in his eyes.

"You said it was a one-time thing and you didn't usually fuck high school boys, remember? Those were your words, not mine. Plus, what the hell was I supposed to do when my friend calls to tell me they are heading back to Forks and I have to go with them. I couldn't stay Rosalie," he said defensively as I sat back on my bed and watched the argument unfold. If they didn't want me to leave, who was I to be denied a free show?

"Yeah well… that was before we had sex. I may have changed my mind," Rosalie said quietly as Emmett's mouth dropped open and he moved towards her slowly, his eyes watching her like she was his prey. I suddenly felt like I was watching an episode of Wild Kingdom and she was about to be devoured. "There's just one problem."

Emmett stopped dead in his tracks and looked at her, not blinking. "What problem? I don't think that you wanting me is a problem."

"I can't date a student."

"I'll drop out," said Emmett quickly as both Rosalie and I shouted in opposition. "Okay, maybe not the best idea I've ever had."

"Certainly better than your idea to make a restaurant called 'Before and After' that only served appetizers and desserts," I added as Emmett turned around and literally growled at me.

"Why can't you date a student?" Emmett questioned as he leaned back against his drafting desk and Rosalie stood against the door.

"I'm a fourth year in your program and I am TA'ing one of your classes. It's against policy Emmett. If they found out I even winked at you, they would think I was giving you preferential treatment, which would effectively end my TA job." I looked at Rosalie sympathetically, because she was right, she couldn't date Emmett. I felt even worse for my friend, who looked completely ruined about the situation. I knew he had feelings for the girl he slept with back in the spring; I just never expected this to be the outcome of everything.

"Can you give us a few minutes alone Edward?" asked Emmett simply as I got up off my bed and headed towards the door. Once I was in the hallway, I heard muffled talking, but there was nothing I could make sense of. I figured they were probably whispering so that I couldn't hear them at all, which was probably a relief. Watching them argue was more uncomfortable than watching Dwight give birth to a watermelon on The Office. How Bella loved that show as much as she did was beyond me.

When the door finally opened a few minutes later, Rosalie walked out and began adjusting her shirt slightly. I looked up at her face and noticed her lips were rather swollen and she practically ran down the hall away from me. "What the hell went on?"

"Nothing," Emmett lied horribly as he shut our door behind him and we started walking towards the HUB. "We've just determined it's not against rules to be friends."

"That doesn't mean friends with benefits."

"I'm sorry if the women can't keep their hands off the Emminator," he said with a laugh as he moved his hand down his body as though he was selling it on the Price is Right.

"If women heard you refer to yourself as the Emminator, I think they would have no problem keeping their hands to themselves actually," I laughed as Emmett and I went down the stairs and out the side door towards the center of campus, the tension melting away the further away from our building we went.

When we walk into the HUB fifteen minutes later, Emmett practically ran over to the Greek restaurant to put his order in, with me following after I decided that Greek sounded pretty good for dinner. Shortly after we found our seats, I was surprised when someoneunexpected approached our table.

"Evening fellas," he said with a sickly sweet voice that made me want to hurl. I could tell Emmett immediate got his back up because his hand balled into a fist on the table. "Where's Bella?"

"She's hanging out with her roommate tonight," I replied through clenched teeth as Liam clutched the back of the extra chair at our table. I could tell he was tempted to ask if he could sit down, but thought better of it based on the looks that Emmett and I were both giving him.

"Oh, I'm sure she's having a fun time. Bella always loved to fly by the seat of her pants and live in the moment," Liam commented, as though he thought he knew Bella well enough to say something like that. "She really is such a sweet girl though. In Europe…"

"Umm… Liam," I interrupted swiftly because I really didn't want to hear some lame ass story about Europe that Bella had already told me, on more than one occasion probably. "As much as you probably want to tell me a story that I surely already know because Bella told me everything about Europe, I don't want to hear it."

"Worried I'll say something you don't want to hear?"

"Not particularly. I'm worried you will think I give a shit about what you have to say actually," I replied caustically.

"Is this how you act around Bella, because if so, there's something else you should be worried about, Edward," remarked Liam snidely as Emmett growled loudly beside me.

"No, this is only how he acts around assholes who clearly want his girlfriend," Emmett yelled at him, making several other people in our vicinity turn around to watch our confrontation. "If you know what is good for you, you will stay the fuck away from Bella."

"That will be a bit difficult since we have a class together," Liam added as he narrowed his eyes at me. "Anyways, if Bella wants to spend time with me, who am I to refuse her?" He let go of the chair and was about to walk away when I jumped up and grabbed his arm.

"I'm a very easy going guy, Liam, but if you continue to try and weasel your way into Bella's life, when you are clearly not wanted, I won't be so nice to you."

Irish to English Dictionary:

Bag-ball= scrotum, but used to mean total idiot

Babby = baby

Tayto = potato


	19. Dissension

**Risbee: Happy Memorial Day Weekend to our lovely readers.**

**CPW: I don't celebrate Memorial Day, though last week we had what Canadian's affectionately call May 2-4.**

**Risbee: WTF is that?**

**CPW: We get a holiday off for Queen Victoria's birthday and 90% of the population drinks their weight in beer. It's fun really. Picture Memorial Day without the flags or sales.**

**Risbee: I don't get you guys. Remind me to find an American to collab with next time.**

**CPW: Good luck with that! **

**Risbee: Another thing you can wish me luck for is the Giggle Snort Awards. We've been nominated for Funniest Bella. I'm still shock, but would appreciate a vote: gigglesnortawards (dot) mmmboptastic (dot) com / index (dot) php You know the drill. Replace the shit in brackets with actual punctuation.**

**CPW: Onto the show. We don't own Twilight; but Risbee is a proud new aunt to little Henry Hawkins, so give her some congrats!**

**Risbee: Oh and big thanks to MaggieMay14 for beta'ing this beast. Enjoy the show.**

**BPOV**

I woke up in my lonely twin bed before my alarm clock went off. For a few seconds I panicked because my legs were all twisted up in my sheets. I was pressed up against the cold cinder block wall and, to be honest, I wasn't exactly sure where I was, but a big part of that had to be because it was so god awful early. I was alone, which was also wrong because before the alarm went off, I was having quite possibly the best dream ever, or it could have had since I didn't get to finish it. All I know is that Edward was tugging gently on my belly button ring with his teeth and things were really starting to get interesting, sexually speaking of course, when I was so rudely interrupted by the obnoxious blaring of responsibility.

First Alice, then Siobhan and now the alarm clock. Inanimate objects in on the cockblocking? Really? This was getting fucking ridiculous. _Beep beep motherfucking beep. Ugh!_ Alarms really should come with a remote control, I thought to myself in frustration as I sat up and tried to turn the stupid thing off. However, in my groggy state, unfamiliarity with clock, and my awkward fumblings, it took way longer than it probably should have. I actually found myself shushing it, like that was going to do any good.

"Ugh, just pelt the gizmo against the wall and I'll buy you a new one in the morn. I'm fecking nackered." Siobhan flung her pillow over her head and covered her ears. I may have been a little envious that I hadn't thought of that first. At this point, I was about ready to chuck it out the window. Anything to make the fucking annoying beeping stop.

Finally, I just unplugged it and lay back in my bed. I was wide awake from the noise, but really not wanting to get up. I had a pretty full schedule today, with classes from nine until one, a break for lunch followed by a rhetoric and popular culture class at four, but I had it all planned out and knew it would pay off. I had worked out my schedule so that I only had one class on Fridays, which was a pretty awesome feat for an incoming freshman, and I knew the only way to make it to Friday, was to get through the days beforehand.

Somewhere, somehow, I finally found the energy to get out of bed and threw my hair up in a messy bun so I could take the fastest shower on record. I grinned as I saw the newly dyed purple highlights and oddly enough found a bit of comfort and strength in them. I kept putting off their return while I was home; I got busy with everything and was so immersed in the joy that was Edward, that I just lost the urge to put them back. I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to put them back and part of me wanted to keep them as a secret part of my life and a tribute to London, even if that made absolutely no sense to anyone but myself. Now that they were back though, I realized just how much I missed them. They were a little unexpected piece of me that made me feel like I could be anything I wanted to be. Again, that may not mean anything to anybody else, but I got it.

A week earlier I had gone out with Siobhan to an Irish Pub, and the whole night ended up being pretty decent. Siobhan was a little dismayed that they had so many meals on the menu with potatoes, but I just laughed it off, after all it was a fucking pub. Apparently, she had a pretty big gripe with potatoes and anything affiliated with such. Hey, I don't like fluffy foods, so who am I to judge? She was quite the character and once we got past the unease of not knowing each other at all, I found myself laughing like I hadn't laughed in a long time. I knew we'd never be best friends or even room together after this year, but at least I didn't feel like I had to tiptoe around her anymore. There was certainly potential to keep her in my radar for the next few years though and we could develop some sort of insane friendship; bonded by her hatred of potatoes and having seen me fucking my boyfriend.

Thankfully, Siobhan let me know that she didn't mind Edward hanging around, as long as I gave her fair warning and she even offered to put away the creepy Leprechaun doll if I tried my best to keep Emmett away. I quickly sealed that deal with a handshake. Oh, and I had to give her Seamus' band another listen. I did make a mental note that she didn't say I had to be sober when that happened, because I'm pretty sure that would be the only way that was going to happen.

Of course, while we were eating our meals, I happened to get a text message from Liam, of all people. I rolled my eyes, a little annoyed at his persistence, as Siobhan looked at me curiously.

"It must be some feckin' dose to have two gits who want yeh?" she snorted as she shoveled some sausage into her mouth and grinned from ear to ear.

"Liam is just a friend."

"He's a persistent little buggar. That was him on the dog and bone, right?" I nodded my head slowly, even though I had no idea why the fuck she was talking about dogs. "Back in me home country, we have a name for eejits like him. He's a dirtball; a dodgy bloke who I wouldn't trust to save my life," she said with all seriousness as I let out a small groan of annoyance. Liam wasn't that bad, was he?

"But he's my friend and we shared some great times together in Europe," I countered as Siobhan let out a groan of her own.

"Ballsch. Are ye willing to risk farting it all up with Edward for a 'friend'?" Siobhan winked at me as I began to let things that she said sink in. When she went to the bathroom, I sent Liam a quick text letting him know I was busy all week, but that I would see him in class on Monday. I was avoiding the inevitable, which was letting Liam down, again, but I wasn't sure yet how to do it. He didn't seem to understand that I wasn't interested.

Later, on the way back from dinner we passed a drugstore and it was like I could hear the sirens of hair dye calling me from the aisle. So with a familiar box in my hand and little help from Siobhan, I found myself staring at a familiar face in the mirror with a whole new outlook on life. I was going to make UW my own.

Bella Badass. Yup, that was me.

However right now, curled up in my bed, I felt like anything but a bad ass. I was tired as hell, but I had to get the day going. "I'm going to go jump in the shower. You need to be up when I get back or I'm taking your covers." Last night, she made me promise to make sure she was up before I left for class and I was actually looking forward to it in a twisted sort of way. If I had to be up, as far as I was concerned so did everybody else I knew. In fact, if I was ready in time, Edward was getting a wakeup call of his own.

Holy hell, I felt evil this morning.

"Be careful with ye threats there yeh Brasser, I'm in the buff under this blanket." Siobhan mumbled from under her pillow.

"Oh you are so not. I saw you when you went to bed last night and I can see the hem of your blue fuzzy pants right here." I tugged on the hem to prove my point. "Sleep at your own risk." I giggled and walked towards the door.

"I'm so not afraid of yeh, yeh dumbarsed article." I could hear the humor in her voice and it was so much better than the animosity I had heard earlier.

"I may be little, but I'm feisty."

"Yeh bleedin' deadly, Molly. That bodes well for Edward then, doesn't it? Make sure yeh take yer Smarties."

"You know it, I think. Most days I can barely understand you," I said with a laugh as Siobhan grumbled incoherently at me, no doubt cursing in Irish. "Now seriously, get up." I reached over and hit the power button on her docking station and prayed that whatever song started playing, it was a loud one.

As I walked back from the showers, Siobhan passed me as she walked down the hall. She didn't look too happy, but she did grumble something that sounded like thanks and that she'd see me after class. I decided to forego the obnoxious wake up call to Edward, because I decided that coffee was much more important and really, I was not completely heartless. I decided I would text him later and maybe, if I played my cards right, we could reenact the dream that almost was. So I threw on some clothes and shoes, grabbed my bag and was out the door. I was ready to start this thing called college, not like I had any choice. Ha!

As I was walking towards my first class of the day, I sent Edward a quick text message wishing him good luck on his first day and wanted to see if he wanted to meet really quickly in the quad between classes. See, I was sweet. I twisted myself around to put my phone back in the pocket of my bag when I slammed into something and felt two arms steady me before I bounced back and landed on my ass.

Liam.

"Hey there," I grinned a bit embarrassed at my unawareness, but then again, he should have been used to it. It wasn't like we were strangers.

"Well good morning," he replied as he rubbed his chest in exaggeration where my shoulder must have hit him and I just rolled my eyes. "Listen, I was going to call you later, but since you're right here I might as well get it out there." He seemed nervous as he extended his hand to me, helping me to my feet as I let him continue talking. "I want to apologize for last week when we first ran into each other."

I looked at him in confusion because as far as I was concerned he had nothing to be sorry about. I certainly had no issue with him and I hoped that nothing I said or did yesterday gave him any indication that I did. "Well, your boyfriend didn't look too thrilled to see me and after I ran into him and his friend at the HUB later that night, I thought that maybe I accidentally made things uncomfortable for you. It was obvious that he doesn't understand what we mean to each other."

Funny. Edward didn't mention running into Liam that night, I thought to myself quickly. Though honestly we didn't really talk much when we did finally get some time alone in the past few days. I'd have to ask him about that later because I was more than just a little curious about what went down. I'm pretty sure his take on it would be amusing.

"Liam, please don't apologize. Good lord. Forks is a small town, I guess Edward and Emmett are just used to us all knowing the same people. Societal hazard if you will. I just texted him to see if he wanted to meet when my class was over. You should come with me and we can all spend some time together, you and Edward can get to know each other. I am allowed to have friends. Wait. That sounded really bad." And it did. It made it sound like Edward controlled who I was friends with and who I could hang out with and that was not the case at all. What I said was true, we really did know all the same people and always have, with the exception of my friends from London, and Liam was one of those friends. _Just a friend._

"You don't have to explain anything to me Bella, I just didn't want to be the cause of any problems and I was worried that I might have been one last week."

"Liam, things are good. I promise. We are friends and we will continue as such. In fact, if I have anything to say about it, you will be friends with my friends. Now, I have a class in this building and I don't want to make you late for your class, so why don't you just call me later and we can figure everything out."

"Well actually, I have a class in here too. I have…" he glanced down at a piece of paper with his schedule printed on it, "Basic Concepts in New Media."

Me too. _Huh._

Well wasn't this going to be interesting. Edward's warning came flooding back to my mind, but I pushed it out my head. Liam was a friend. _He was a friend. He was a friend. _A friend who knew I had a boyfriend that I loved desperately. Liam was a friend and he wouldn't do anything to risk that relationship. _He was a friend._ It was almost like I was repeating it to myself so I would continue to believe it, which made no sense since there wasn't anything to believe. Admittedly, I knew he had shown some interest, but he knew how I felt and we moved on. He moved on and we were friends. So I continued to push Edwards' words away and walked up the stairs and into the building, with my friend.

The classroom was almost empty when we got there and I did a little happy dance knowing that it meant I could set my alarm for ten minutes later and not have to get up before the birds. Dude, ten minutes was huge to a college freshman! I found a seat that I liked, on the end of a row right in the middle of the room so I didn't look too eager and I didn't look like I didn't care at all. Seat selection definitely had a strategy to it. Liam took the seat next to me and we waited for our class to start.

"I didn't know you were left-handed," I said to him as he situated himself in the left-handed desk.

"I'm not, but I couldn't pass up the chance to sit next to you."

_He was a friend._

I started to reach for my phone to see if Edward had responded but instead Liam decided it would be fun to continue our conversation from outside. However, I really didn't see the need, because honestly thought that the only thing that was going to rectify the situation we were currently in was if Edward, Liam and I spent time together as a threesome. Ew, not like that, but Edward had to trust me and trust Liam and if Liam was harboring some feelings for me from this summer, he had to see that Edward and I were meant for each other and that he had no chance at all with me. _Ever. _

"So, tell me about Forks."

"It's about what you would expect from a town named Forks. Not exactly destined for greatness. It is small. Everybody knows everybody. We always have because it rains a lot leaving us with lots of togetherness. We eat at the diner. Most people say they want to leave, but most everybody comes back." I shrugged. "I know it doesn't sound like all that much, but it's not that bad really."

"Huh." He looked at me with an expression that looked like a cross between confusion and disappointment and I really wasn't sure that I liked that all that much.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, huh. Don't get your feathers all ruffled Swan, I was just making an observation. You just seemed like you were destined for bigger and better things when we were in Europe. You yourself said you felt alive. I just never expected to hear you say that you were going to live in Forks. You don't seem like someone to settle."

"I never said I was going to live in Forks, Liam. There is a whole world out there for me."

"You never said the words, sure, but you alluded to it pretty hard. Everybody knows everybody. Nobody stays away. You're dating your lifelong best friend. It just makes me a little bit nervous that you're already resigned to mediocrity."

Wait just a fucking minute.

"Hold on Liam. I love Edward, but he has absolutely no say so on whether or not I go home and live in Forks. I'm going to do what I want to do with my life, whether its travel and live out of a suitcase or work as a checkout girl at the Thriftway. Not that I want to."

"Have you told him? He just seems like he's very content to..." I interrupted him before he could go any further.

"You don't know anything about Edward, Liam. You don't know anything. Edward is totally supportive of me and would never stand in the way of my dreams." I glanced around, frustrated at Liam's blatant accusations about my relationship with Edward. He was clearly trying to goad me into saying something I would regret, but I wasn't buying it. I grabbed my bag and chose to sit at a different seat a few rows back. Ever persistent Liam couldn't take the hint and followed.

"Don't be so closed off, Bella. Friends don't let friends walk away during a discussion, so just tell me. What are your dreams, Bella?"

"Why the hell do you care Liam?"

"Cause I care about you and just want to see you live up to your full potential. Just tell me what you want to do. What do you dream of and aspire to?" Paging Dr. Phil.

"I don't know." I looked at him in exasperation. "I'm eighteen. I'm hardly expected to know what I want to do for the rest of my life."

"And yet you know for sure that Edward has no problem with something you can't even define yourself?" I started twirling a strand of purple hair around my fingers and began thinking about what Liam was saying, even though I didn't want to listen to him. Surely Edward knew that I wanted to leave Forks, right? Well, not so much wanted to leave as needed to leave. Desperately. Edward was studying film for fucks sake, what the hell could he do in Forks with that? Make wedding videos? I shook the thought from my head and decided that the specifics about what we did in the future were inconsequential at the moment, but surely he knew that I wasn't going back. We'd talked about it before, right?

Apparently my silence gave Liam the green light to keep on going. "Look Bella, the last thing I want to do is upset you so I'm not going to go on and on. I'm just surprised to see you looking so settled when you seemed so alive and excited to be on your own. That's all. No harm intended." He held up his hands in surrender and I nodded that I understood, even though I was mentally yanking his arm off and beating him with it for making me second guess everything.

"It just surprises me that you seem so happy with somebody so...I can't think of the right word. I don't mean any offense to Edward. Hell, I don't know anything about him except for the fact that he makes you happy and that's all I want, but I don't know. I guess I expected you to be with somebody a bit more adventurous. Somebody more like you. Again. No offense intended."

At this I had to laugh. "Liam, you are not going to find two people more compatible than Edward and me. Seriously, it was like we were pre-destined to be together. It just took us a long time to figure it out. He was my best friend, he _is _and will _always_ be my best friend. The fact that I love him is just icing on the proverbial cake. We complete each other's sentences, we know what the other is thinking without having to hear it. Hell, we've even been known to dress alike." _Yeah, that was a bit creepy actually; we both had on red and khaki and looked like we worked at Target._

"Well, like I said, I don't know the dude."

"Edward. His name is Edward."

"Right, Edward, but if he makes you happy then who am I to say anything."

"Exactly. So let's talk about something else before I give in to my overwhelming need to stab you with my pencil." Well that and I was starting to feel more than just a little bit uncomfortable.

"Sounds good to me, baby. By the way, I'm glad to see you put the purple back in your hair. Still have the piercing?" He waggled his eyebrows and winked in an overly exaggerated manner, so I knew he was just trying to move on. I did have to laugh at him because, all unfounded assumptions aside, he really was a decent guy and I probably should be a little flattered that he seemed to care about my best interests as much as he professed to. He really didn't know Edward at all, and who knows, maybe I did act a little different now, but I should because I'm in a different place. Everything was an adjustment, and for now I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"So you still approve then?" I flipped my hair over one shoulder so I could get a good look at it in the florescent lighting. Damn, it really did make me look good. I sat up a little bit straighter in my uncomfortable as hell chair and felt a bit smug. Edward had loved it more than I expected when he saw it the day after I did it. Come to think of it, we really should take a closer look at the piercing...especially considering my dream last night. Yup, that was definitely going on his to-do list, along with me.

"Does a fat baby poop?" Liam said as I broke out into laughter. Why does poop make me laugh? Seriously? You know, there were times when I really questioned my maturity level and whether or not it was a good idea for me to be on my own. This was one of them.

"Liam, I'm not going to lie. You frustrated the shit out of me just now, but I should have expected that. You had a tendency to do that in London too. And for the love of God, don't ever call me baby again." He chuckled and I continued. "But I really am glad you're here. It's good to see a familiar face and one that I know will not let me forget who I am."

"Well you know what they say Bella, 'Control your fate or somebody else will.' Though I like to think our paths crossing now is more along the lines of destiny."

I rolled my eyes and really wanted to come up with some smartass retort, but before I could open my mouth to say something, he hit me with, "No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."

I was still laughing, but suddenly it was out of nervousness. He knew we would only be friends, right?

_Right?_

**EPOV**

The rest of our orientation week was lame at best, but I was thankful things went so slow. Bella and I went to all of our required events, met with the teachers and more classmates, but always seemed to manage more than a little time for each other. Even if we were just walking around campus, hand in hand, and talking about asinine things, it was a welcome distraction from the thoughts that swirled through my head.

I couldn't help but find myself concerned with Liam and his motives where Bella was concerned. The way he had confronted Emmett and me in the HUB was like adding fuel to an already burning fire. I was certain he wanted Bella for himself, and of course there was no way I was going to let that happen, but I couldn't believe he was so upfront about it all. What the hell was his deal?

I never told Bella about our interaction at dinner that night, because the last thing I wanted was for her to think that I had antagonized him, even though I had. Emmett didn't help matters either, because the rest of the night, we sat in our room planning out ways to keep Liam away from Bella. None of them seemed like good ideas, especially since most of them were based around ideas from the Sopranos episodes we were watching on DVD. All the ideas fell by the wayside when he got a call on his cell and wandered out of the room with a goofy grin on his face. I could only assume that it was Rosalie on the line, but I wasn't about to ask him about it. However, I doubt there was anything friendly going on between the two of them. He smiled and dressed too nicely for that shit.

When the first full week of classes rolled around, I was a little bit excited to get into the thick of things in my classes. I attempted to get into my Film and Human Values class without being seen by Claire, but I had no luck on one particular morning.

"Hi Edward. How was your weekend?" she asked cheerfully as I slumped down in my chair and Claire took the empty seat next to me, smiling brightly like usual.

"It was alright. Very quiet since I spent time with my girlfriend and best friend. How about yours?" I wasn't really wanting to strike up conversation with her, but I couldn't find it in me to be rude either.

"I went to this really awesome party and got soooo wasted. I'm thinking of pledging a sorority, wouldn't that be awesome? They don't really have stuff like that back in Oklahoma. Well, I'm sure they do, but no one ever invited me to their parties until I got here," she said cheerfully as I let out a quiet groan. I wonder why people never invited her? Perhaps it was because she never shut the fuck up?

"Well, sounds like your weekend was awesome," I lied.

"You should come."

"Excuse me?" I replied, as I choked briefly at her odd statement.

"Oops, sorry. Sometimes my mouth works ahead of my brain. There's a party this weekend at the sorority I'm pledging, you should come. It's open to everyone. So umm… you can bring your girlfriend if you want." Claire shrugged her shoulders slightly and the small frown that crossed her face at the mention of Bella changed back into her usual smile. I couldn't help but find myself wondering why the hell this girl was faking her emotions. She clearly wasn't this happy all the time and it was just an act. Perhaps an effect of living with several brothers and sisters, I wondered to myself as Professor Thompson walked in and moved his way to the front of the lecture hall.

"I'll think about it," I lied again, knowing full well there was no way I was going to a sorority party this weekend. It wasn't my thing and I was really hoping for more alone time with Bella when the weekend rolled around. I was thinking it would be good if we had another date, since the last one went so good, I chuckled to myself as Claire looked at me curiously.

"Something funny?"

"Uh… just thinking about something I saw on the funny or die website," I replied quiet proud of my ability to think up such a plausible lie. Of course, It was just my luck that Claire lit up like a Christmas tree at my off handed comment.

"Was it that little trash talking girl Pearl. She's hilarious. I tried to get my youngest sister to be just like her, but then she kept shouting 'bitch' at my mother and I got grounded for like three weeks," Claire yammered on as I kept my eyes trained on Thompson who was writing on the board at the front of the room. "I love the part where she says she is just buzzed. It's classic, really. I also love the one with her where she is a baby cop and is trying to get a confession from Will Ferrell. Do you like him? He was funny in Anchorman, but what the hell was he thinking doing that Bewitched movie?"

I went silent as I tried to think of something to say in response, but breathed a sigh of relief when Thompson called the class to order and began talking to us about how film has become a major part of twentieth-century existence, experience and expression. I scribbled notes furiously on my notebook and found myself very interested in everything that he had to say. I also reminded myself to bring my laptop to the next class to write my notes in because my hand was starting to cramp after five minutes.

However, when the class was over, I found myself having to face the persistent Claire again. In an effort to ignore her, I reached into my bag and pulled out my cell phone, finding a text from Bella wishing me well in my class and wanting to meet in the quad. I smiled for a moment until I felt Claire tapping on my shoulder.

"Umm… so about that party I mentioned?"

"Yeah, let me ask Bella and I'll let you know in class on Friday, alright?" I replied, hoping that it would appease her somewhat.

"Sure, that sounds good. Is Bella pledging a sorority? I mean, she doesn't seem like the type of girl who would, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's just…"

"No, she's not pledging and you're right, it's not really her style," I interrupted because I could tell Claire was getting flustered and was two seconds away from lodging her foot permanently in her mouth.

"Oh… yeah. Well, my mom Mitzi is Legacy in Kappa Kappa Gamma. She went to the University of Oklahoma, so when she found out I was coming here, she insisted I pledge. She says me pledging is a formality though because she was so involved in her sorority back in the day. Although I guess 'the day' was just the early 80's when I think about it. When some of her sorority sisters would visit, they would sit around, get drunk and talk about all the parties they went to and blow they snorted. I had no idea what that meant until I saw Johnny Depp in Blow. Have you seen that movie? Yeah, probably. Hasn't like everyone with a pulse seen Johnny Depp in something? Oh, and I didn't mean to imply that sorority girls were coke heads or something; my mom was just a bit wild back in the day. Oh fuck, there I go again."

"Um… you do realize we have another class and you can't just stand here talking my ear off right?"

"Oh yeah right. I have Media and Society in like twenty minutes. Let me know about the party," she said with a wink as she tossed her bag over her shoulder and headed out of the almost empty classroom. I looked at the clock on my phone and realized I would have very little time to meet Bella between classes. I sent her a quick message letting her know I was running late and that I would meet with her at the HUB at five thirty for dinner like we had planned.

I sat two more classes before I went to the bookstore to pick up the textbooks that I had to order last time we were there and then ambled my way across the quad, eager to meet Bella. WE had exchanged a text later in the day agreeing to meet after our last class to grab something for dinner. However, when I met up with her, the fates were against me, as Liam was sitting beside her and they seemed to be having quite the animated conversation. In fact, I stood in front of them for several seconds before Bella even acknowledged my existence.

"Edward, you're early," she said excitedly as she jumped from her seat and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly. I looked over at Liam to find him glaring at us, so I did the only logical thing I could think of at the time. I grabbed the back of Bella's head and began kissing the hell out of her, my tongue practically forcing its way into her mouth as she moaned against me, clearly aroused. When I pulled away finally, she had a huge smile on her face and I felt rather smug. "Well it's good to see you too baby."

"I was just keeping your girl company," added Liam as I narrowed my eyes at him and Bella wrapped her hand in mind, pulling me to the bench beside her. I may have gone a little possessive and scooted right against her, wrapping my arm over her shoulders as though I was staking my claim. Who the fuck was I kidding, I totally was.

"Well, isn't that nice of you," I replied through clenched teeth as Bella began rambling on about how she was waiting for me, reading through some notes from her classes and Liam showed up and they started reminiscing about Europe and I may have cringed. I knew Bella loved her trip, but Liam seemed to make her remember it more than even she thought was possible. "I trust you have dinner plans already, so you will be leaving me alone with my girl, right?"

"Yeah, of course, Eddie," Liam said as he stood up from his seat and grabbed his backpack from the ground beside him.

"Ooh, don't call him Eddie," Bella advised Liam with a small look of sympathy. I decided to keep my mouth shut, but my fists may have been clenched against my thighs beside me.

"Oops. Sorry, man. No offence was meant," Liam said as he put his hand against the back of the bench and winked at Bella, promising to see her again in class, before he walked away and my body instantly relaxed.

"I can't stand that guy," I replied tensely as Bella took my hand in hers and stroked it gently, her fingers dancing along my now open palm.

"He's harmless, I promise. Now, I suggest we eat something quickly so that we can get back to my room. Siobhan may have texted me to let me know that she found some fellow Irish folk and was going to see some Pogues cover band downtown," Bella said breathily as I realized that for the first time in a few days we would actually have time alone, in a room… with a bed. Not that I was averse to doing it in my car, but Bella seemed to have issues with it. Apparently twice was more than enough, but living on our own facilitated the use of a bed or couch.

"I'm excited to get back to your room, but for the record, Liam is anything but harmless. I see the way he looks at you Bella and I know those looks… very well I might add," I replied caustically as Bella looked at me with confusion in her eyes. "Are you blind as a bat sweetie? He looks at you the same way I used to look at you… with desperation and want. That guy wants you for himself."

"Yeah well, he can want all he bloody well wants, but you're my boyfriend and I'm in love with you. I won't be dating Liam anytime soon. He's just fun to hang out with and we share a class together, that's it."

"Did you mention that we were meeting here tonight?"

"I may have said something earlier in class," she remarked casually as she released my hand from hers and began to look anxious. "I invited him to join us when we were going to meet at lunch time, but he passed. Of course, that never materialized cause we were both so busy."

"So, don't you think that maybe he came here on purpose, so that he could see you and potentially antagonize me?"

"Oh my god, where do you get these random theories?" Bella questioned as she popped up from her seat and began to storm away. "I'm going to get some dinner. You need to calm down."

I grabbed my bag and followed her to the HUB and grabbed us a table as she stormed up to a counter to order dinner, clearly angry about everything. I grabbed a quick sandwich and a soda and got back to my chair before Bella did, but when she sat down, she ate her dinner in silence. It took me several minutes, and I had eaten more than half my dinner, before I mustered up the courage to say something to her. "I don't want it to sound like I don't trust you Bella."

"But that's exactly what it sounds like, Edward. You don't trust me or that I can't handle him. Liam can have any intention that he wants, but all I want is you. Don't you get that?" she pleaded as she tossed her fork down and pushed her plate away. "I'm suddenly not very hungry anymore." She stood up and grabbed her bag storming away from the HUB as I followed after her as quickly as I could, my dinner forgotten on the table.

She was practically sprinting towards our building when I caught up with her and grasped her arm firmly, pulling her around. Her eyes were red and she had clearly been crying. Unable to think of anything to say, I wrapped my arms around her as her small fists pounded on my chest in frustration. "I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to imply that I didn't trust you baby. The guy just… I don't trust him and I wish you would stay away from him."

"I'm not going to do that," Bella said as she pulled away, her beautiful face shone in defiance. "He's my friend, Edward. How would you feel if I told you to stay away from Emmett?"

"I wish someone had the foresight to tell me that years ago, actually. He snores like a son of a bitch," I said lightly, trying to ease the tension around us. "Look, I'm sorry and I have no right to ask you to stop being friends with him, but just… be on guard alright?"

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed her tenderly on the top of her head as she leaned into me. "Liam was a good friend to me over the summer and I don't want to push him away, Edward. I mean, he may have implied over the summer that he liked me, but nothing ever happened and I reminded him that I loved you more than anything. I think you are just reading things wrong."

"Woah," I said as I stopped dead in my tracks and Bella tensed beside me. She hadn't mentioned anything about Liam hitting on her during the summer, because I had catalogued every single one of those conversations in my mind since she came home. "He implied that he liked you? Define implied?"

"It was nothing, Edward," she said with a pass of her hand, clearly trying to make it seem unimportant. I had already been suspicious of him during the summer and he was in a whole different continent. "He just flirted casually with me and I may have slept on his shoulder during a drive to a haunted castle. Seriously, it was nothing."

"If it was nothing, why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked curiously as I began walking again, trying to make it sound like I wasn't frustrated beyond belief. This guy was insinuating himself into Bella's life and she couldn't see it. "Not telling me makes it seem like you are hiding it."

"Well, why didn't you tell me that you ran into him at the HUB last week?"

"Cause it really wasn't important. He was an asshole to me. Emmett and I threatened him, end of story." I used my keycard to get us into our dorm building and tossed the door open a little too roughly as Bella walked in ahead of me and stormed over to the elevators.

"How is me not telling you about him flirting with me any different than you not telling me you got into an argument with him?" Bella questioned as she pressed the button to go up and I stood beside her, feeling very nervous. This was not how I planned the night going when she first mentioned that Siobhan wasn't going to be home. "Hello Pot… this is Kettle! Doesn't it seem like you are hiding things from me too?"

"He's been trying to stir up trouble Bella and it's driving me nuts." Once we stepped into the elevator, I pressed the button for her sixth floor, wanting to talk to her alone, but she pressed the button for my third floor. When the door opened after our awkward silence, I looked at her with sadness in my eyes.

"You should go to your room. I think I just need to be alone for a bit."

I walked out feeling like a huge piece of shit for trying to get her to stay away from Liam. It was her choice who she spent time with, but I was certain he wanted more from her and would do anything to get it. There was no way in hell I was going to let him do that.

I turned around and watched the door close as my heart ached. I dragged myself back to my room and found Emmett sitting at his drafting table drawing furiously, which surprised me. "What's going on?" he asked as he took in my forlorn expression. "Uh oh. What happened?"

"Liam happened."

"What did that little shit do now? Do I need to go find him and teach him a lesson?"

"Not right now, but I'm not totally against the possibility of physical violence against him. Let's just say he's a masterful manipulator. He told Bella that we ran into him last week and Bella told me that he was flirting with her in Europe. I had always assumed based on the stories she told me, but she confirmed it for me."

"And, what happened?"

"I may have told her to stay away from him."

"Ooh, bad idea there man," Emmett confirmed for me as I rolled my eyes. "Where is she?"

"She went back to her room."

"Then why are you here?"

"Cause she didn't want me there dipshit," I replied caustically as I threw my bag onto the floor and tossed my tired body onto my bed.

"You know if this was… If I had a girl, I'd be there reassuring her and apologizing to her," Emmett said with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I may have seen an episode of Dr. Phil about miscommunication today. Now get off your ass and go see her. Apologize and we can keep a closer watch on Liam, but Bella doesn't have to know."

"Thanks Em," I said genuinely as I hopped off my bed and ran down the hallway and up the three flights of stairs to her room. When I got there, Siobhan was just walking out and looked at me with fury on her face.

"You are a fecking wanker. What didjya do?" she asked as she began telling me in her thick Irish brogue about how Bella had walked in crying inconsolably and curled up on her bed to continue crying. Siobhan looked like she was about to kick my ass back to Dublin before I told her I already felt like an ass and would kick myself if I was flexible enough.

I begged her to let me into the room and she finally relented when her cell phone rang and she told me she was late. She also told me that if I did anything to fuck it up even worse, she'd come after me. I was actually kinda worried, but thanked her endlessly before I walked into the dark room. Bella had the curtains drawn and all I could hear was her sniffles and sobs as she remained curled up on her bed.

I toed off my shoes and climbed in behind her, my body melding to hers as I wrapped my arms tightly around her chest. "I'm so fucking sorry baby. I promise, I do trust you."

There were more sniffles, but I felt somewhat encouraged when Bella's body seemed to relax around mine. I nuzzled my head into the crook of her neck and let out a small sigh. "I just can't even begin to imagine my life without you in it, Bella. You are the most important thing to me, ever."

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward," Bella said quietly as I kissed her cheek and tightened my grip on her tired body. However, I couldn't think of the right thing to say to appease her. She seemed certain that we would never part, but thanks to Liam's interference, I wasn't as sure as she was.

"I love you more than anything and I am so sorry for today."

"I love you too."

_**Git = Idiot Eejit = Idiot Dose = Something difficult to endure / rough Dog & Bone = Phone **_

_**Ballsch = rubbish / crap Brasser = A woman of ill repute Article = Girl**_

_**Bleedin' Deadly = brilliant Molly = girl Smarties = Birth Control Pills**_

**A/N: Huge fucking thanks to the lovely bgwillis who graciously created a thread for this story over on Twilighted. www (dot) twilighted (dot) net / forum / viewtopic (dot) php?f=44&t=9877&sid=&start=30 We actually go over there and offer teasers and answer questions. Come play with us. You are welcome to misconstrue that!**


	20. Pursuit

**A/N: Hi all, we're back. Thanks to everyone who voted for our little story in the giggle/snort awards. We didn't win Best Bella, but it was an honor to be nominated and all that shit right?**

**Just so you know, Risbee is off at her luxurious beach house this week and coldplaywhore is suffering from a massive cold and is under the misconception she will die any moment now. The next update may not be for another week or two. Just an FYI.**

**Now go read. We don't own Twilight. CPW is laughing at Jasper's outfit at the MTV Movie Awards though. **

**BPOV**

I never wanted a repeat of that night ever again. Telling Edward to go to his room and leave me alone, even for fifteen minutes, was the hardest thing I had ever done. Even harder than leaving him at the airport when I first left for Europe. The look on his face broke my heart into a million pieces and it was just a fight, if that. A tiff. A spat. It's not like we were breaking up or even 'on a break', we just both needed some time and space to think.

To be completely honest, if he hadn't shown up in my room when he did, I probably would have found my way to his as soon as I had my tears under control. Though I never underestimate the power of a few tears, I needed to make sure that he understood that I was truly hurt, upset and that I wasn't just being flighty or overreacting. Bless her heart, but poor Siobhan didn't quite know what to do when I walked in the room. She consoled me to the best of her ability, but being a bit rough around the edges, it was like getting hugged by boulder. The whole situation was only made better when Edward crawled into my bed and apologized.

I would never get tired of the way it felt to be in his arms. _Ever._ Though all we did was hold each other, it was exactly what we needed. I had so many thoughts going through my head, both because of Liam and because of my own internal musings that I honestly didn't know which way was up for most of the night. As much as he loved me and I loved him, if there wasn't trust then there wasn't anything. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life second guessing everything he did and I couldn't imagine it would be much fun for him if he did the same. The big question was why he didn't trust me in the first place. Regardless of what he said to me, his words and antagonistic views towards Liam spoke volumes. He may trust me to remain faithful, but he didn't trust me to handle Liam, and that stung.

We talked a bunch and while I felt better about things, I knew it wouldn't be a quick fix and I had to prove to him that I was capable of handling a less than desirable situation on my own. I needed him to see me interact with Liam, see that I knew what I was doing. I also figured that I should probably ease up on him having a class with this Claire chick, as much as it made me cringe. I mean, yeah it may be a bit hypocritical but the situations weren't even remotely the same. Ok, so maybe they were a _little bit_ similar, but still...chickie needed to back the fuck off.

_Easy there Swan, let Edward handle it. Trust is key, remember?_

Anyway, after another weekly late night Skype session with Nettie and some outside perspective, I was determined to make things right. We needed a night out. Some brevity. Some fun. And definitely some sex. With somebody other than myself, because that just wasn't cutting it anymore. So when I walked out of the dorm on Thursday, I was on a mission. Operation Trust, Fun and Peen was in full effect. See, I said peen. Admittedly it was internal, but I said it. I was making an effort, even if it was just baby steps.

I walked through the quad looking at the multi-colored flyers stapled to one of those giant message boards. There were a few bands that sounded interesting and a some campus organized events that on a different day I would have totally been all over, but tonight I needed something laid back and fun. Nothing overly crowded or excessively organized. Plus the underage factor really limited our options, at least until we scored some decent fake ID'S. Still, I made note of a couple of options because I was determined to get out of the dorm for a bit. The last party we had been to was one thrown by my mother and the humiliation factor for that piece of fuckery was off the charts. Before that was the graduation party at Mike Newton's, and while it was less family oriented, that too was not one of my finest moments. Or so I had been told, though I did have flashbacks from time to time.

I sat down at one of the tables and took out my phone to email Edward and toss out some suggestions. We were meeting after his first class was over but I figured I'd go ahead and let him think about the options and maybe start looking out for ideas on his own. Just as I was about to press send, a shadow crossed my screen and there went my good mood.

"Hi Liam," I declared a little roughly as I didn't even have to look up to see it was him.

"Bella. Hey. I was hoping I'd run into you this morning." I could visualize Edward's eyes rolling from here. I glanced up and noticed that in addition to his usual backpack, he was clutching a stack of flyers and a staple gun. They were weird additions.

"Well, you found me. What's up?" I continued messing with my phone hoping that he'd say whatever it was he needed to say and go about his morning. I needed to fix things with Edward first and once that was straight I'd find Liam and explain. Hopefully he'd understand, and if not, well then he wouldn't. I did hope things would work out though because I'd hate for all this stress and shit to be for nothing.

"Well a couple of the Greek organizations are having a party tonight and I really think you and Eddie and..." I glared at him and he immediately noticed and shifted his stance. "You, _Edward_ and that other guy should come. Greeks get a bad rap. It's not always about the drinking and the parties; they actually do some really wonderful things. Unfortunately, the bad things make better news so whatever. Anyway, here's the info. Look it over and talk it over with _Edward._" Geez, stop with the over emphasizing already. "Hopefully you'll make it."

"I don't know, Liam." How did I do this? I could hardly explain to him what was going on. _Sorry Liam, but Edward kinda hates you because he thinks you want me and honestly I think that you do too, but I don't want to admit that since it would make it look like I was keeping something from him when that's the last thing I'm doing because I want to prove to him that I can handle things on my own. So, I don't think that coming to your party would go over too well but try not to take it personally, kay?_ Yeah, probably not the best thing to say. "I don't really feel like going to some big party where I don't know anybody. It just seems weird to show up somewhere and say 'where's the beer'. Maybe next time."

"Come on, Bella. You know me. I'll be there."

"Ummm, well..."

"Tell you what Bella. Come to the party. I promise to leave you and lover boy alone so he can have a good time and since he won't get pissy, you can have a good time. It really would mean a lot." He made this face that looked like he was _trying_ to do puppy dog eyes, but there was still a twinkle so how could I refuse. This time I could definitely hear the eye rolling that Edward would no doubt be doing if he saw us right now.

I looked down at my phone and the still unsent email before finally giving in and discarding the message. "Fine Liam. Give me the flyer and I'll show it to Edward and Emmett. Hell, maybe even Siobhan."

"Who?"

"Siobhan. My roommate. You two should meet each other. She's from Ireland, remember? I know I've mentioned her before. Anyway, I'll see what I can make happen." I glanced at the flyer and I had to admit that it sounded like fun. There would be a band between the two houses and it didn't look like there was any sort of obligation to rush or pledge or whatever it was they called it. Just a chance to meet people. Seemed harmless and fun and laid back, which was exactly what I was looking for.

Still, knowing this was Liam's idea meant that I had to choose my words carefully when mentioning it to Edward. Obviously I'd tell him Liam would be there, but I had to make sure that Edward knew that Liam wasn't the reason I wanted to go and yet not let him know that Liam was also the reason I hesitated in wanting to go. I didn't want to give him any ammunition. Hmm, I had quite the conversation in front of me and while I knew he'd agree to go for me, I wanted him to do it for us. The whole point of tonight was for us to be together and relax. I wanted it to be like it was BL._ Before Liam._

"Bella?" I shook my head and realized that I had been staring at the flyer for a few minutes while Liam was still standing there. Who knows what he had been saying, because I had not been paying attention whatsoever.

"Sorry Liam. Sure, we'll be there, and don't feel like you have to stay away. I know I'd feel better seeing a familiar face at least when we first get there." That wasn't too rude was it? After all, he was the one that offered to keep his distance.

"Great Bella. I gotta go hand the rest of these out and post them on the boards. See you tonight." He walked away and I turned back to my phone and quickly sent Edward a text letting him know about the party.

_Morning sunshine. Got info about a party tonight. Interested? Mention it to Emmett. -B_

It didn't take him long to respond so I took that as a good sign.

_Definitely interested. Where? –E _

Shit. I was not ready to answer that yet. I needed more time.

_At the KKΓ and ΣΧ house. Sounded like fun.- B_

I cringed while I waited.

_We'll talk after my class. Still meeting for coffee, right? - E_

Shit. He knows.

_Right. I love you. - B_

_I love you too. - E_

I ran a few errands and did the crossword in the University paper and before I knew it I glanced at my phone and noticed it was time to meet Edward. I walked over to Raitt Hall and stood at the foot of the steps waiting for him to walk out the door. No lie, I stopped breathing when he walked out the door because he was wearing these shorts that made me want to go bite his ass and I really can't remember much else because I was just so mesmerized because he almost looked like he was walking in that 'slow motion hell yeah I'm a badass sort of way'. There wasn't a breeze at all and yet his hair still moved just the right way and maybe it was my imagination or maybe it wasn't, but I swear every female in a fifty foot radius just stopped and stared. _Hey, you...over there...close your mouth, Sweet Cheeks. He's mine._

He walked towards me and I launched myself at him, effectively telling everybody that he was off the market. It was like one of those flash mobs where the crowd busts out with an awesome dance routine and then once it's over continues with whatever it was they were doing before. I kissed him and kissed him and kissed him again because he was the world to me and no matter what had happened over the past few days, I knew we would be just fine. This was nothing more than just a relationship speed bump. Not even that. It was more like a road hump. It didn't even warrant a caution sign. We would be fine.

"So tell me more about this party." Edward cocked his eyebrow and I knew he was waiting for me to fess up, but I'm not sure why I felt guilty about it because it wasn't like I had organized the thing or asked Liam for plans or whatever. It just sorta fell into my lap.

"Well...I woke up this morning determined to find something for us to do and I read over every single flippin' flyer on the giant message boards on the quad. Have you ever take the time to look at all of them Edward, there are SOOO many, and so many of them are out of date, you know they really should have somebody take the old ones down once a week or so, don't you think?" I knew I was rambling, but at that moment I didn't care. I was kinda avoiding admitting everything to Edward, even though it was inevitable. After all, if I wanted him to trust me, I needed to give him a reason to. "Anyway, I was getting ready to email you a few options but since we're not twenty-one there weren't too many things we could do...what's up with Emmett and the ID's by the way, I thought he had this awesome connection? Anyway, back to the story, I was just getting ready to email you with a few ideas, though the only one we'd actually be able to do is bowling in the Student Rec Center when Liam showed up and handed me a flyer inviting us to this party." Awesome, word vomit strikes again. I grinned flirtatiously working all my feminine wiles, gave him the flyer and watched as he read all the fun little details. "Well what do you think?" Did I just squeak? The look on his face as he moved his eyes from the flyer to my own told me that yes, in fact I did.

"Liam huh?" And there was the eye roll.

"I think I need coffee. You want some coffee? My treat. Oooh, and a scone. I definitely want a scone, I hope they have cinnamon ones this morning." I gathered up my bags and batted my eyelashes once again. "Do you think you could take these back to the dorm for me since you don't have another class for a few hours. Not now, of course. Just when you go back."

"Stop changing the subject, Bells. So, you got this from Liam? Is he the UW everywhere man now or something. It's crazy that he always manages to be where you are." Edward chuckled but using my superb relationship knowledge, well that and the fact that I've known him since we were in utero meant I could tell he was still irritated. He may have fake laughed, but he totally meant 'Bella, the dude is totally stalking you'. Still, I wasn't going to bite, I wasn't going to turn this into an argument because I really wanted to go to this party and prove to him what my words apparently didn't. So pick your battles Bella and win. You want to go to that party.

"Yes, Liam handed me the flyer, but it wasn't just him. Well, I mean he's the only one that gave it to me." Edward jerked his head up. "You know what I meant, perv. He's the only one that approached me and told me about the party. There were a couple of other guys passing them out, and a couple of girls too. You totally could have gotten some phone numbers." Approach number one, let's try humor. "Come on, if you're lucky, maybe they're still there." I was actually hoping they were so he'd see that it was just coincidence that Liam was there, because it was.

Still nothing from Edward, though he begrudgingly took my hand and let me lead him towards the quad. "Look, I think it could be really fun. Think about it, we've been here for almost two weeks and we haven't gone to a party yet. Isn't that against all kinds of college behavior protocols? I mean, according to all the stereotypes, we should have been drunk for fourteen days straight now. I don't know about you, but I haven't skipped a class this week. Seriously Edward, the social police could totally have us kicked out. Is that something you want to tell our children Edward? For God's sake, Edward, think of the children."

Wait. Did his mouth twitch? Ok...you can do this Swan. WWRD? _What would Renee do?_

"You do realize the last party we went to was at my parents' house right? Think back long and hard." he choked back a laugh and I elbowed him in the ribs before both mentally patting myself on the back because it was totally working and so decided to continue my tactics. "Think back Edward. Our _parents_ had more fun at that party than we did, and most of it was at our expense. We could put all that behind us. Eliminate some of the inevitable reasons for therapy later in life."

Finally time for the big guns. "Think about it Edward. Liam said he'd be too busy tonight anyway to really hang out if that's the only reason for your hesitation, but you shouldn't let Liam keep you from doing something you want to anyway. Just think about it. For me. Do it for me and we can do it later."

Finally he sighed and I knew I had him. "Fine Bella, we'll go. I'm not crazy about the idea, but you know how I feel about bowling and communal shoes. It's fine, but you owe me. Big time."

Great, now I felt a little bit guilty. I leaned over and kissed him gently before whispering, "I love you."

"I love you too. I need to go get a book from the library, want to come with?" He gestured with his head that he needed to go in the opposite direction of where we were headed.

"Actually, I can't." I took my bags from him and he looked at me in confusion. "Well now that I know we're going, I need to figure out what I'm going to wear and since I have about an hour or so before my class today, I'm going to scoot back to the room and see what I have in my closet." I reached up and grabbed his head, pulling it down towards my own until it met my own forehead. "Thank you, Edward."

As he walked away, I heard 'asssss yoooou wiiiish'. The fact that it sounded just like the part from The Princess Bride where Buttercup shoved Wesley down the side of the hill towards the Fire Swamp was not wasted on me and I cringed as I walked towards my room. I'd just have to make sure we had fun.

When I got back to my room, I tore through my closet looking for something to wear that fit all my criteria. Basically, I wanted to look hot, but not look like I was trying too hard. Sounds simple, but it wasn't at all. Everything I owned was either too cutesy, which had its time and place or something I bought in London which I was not about to risk being brought up in conversation tonight or it was dirty. The only thing I had going for me were the hot pink bra and panties I had on because while they were cute, they were also hot so that was okay. I had big plans for them later.

The door flew open and before I had a chance to pick up my robe, I heard "Jesus, Mary and Joseph. What's gotta happen woman before you stop walking around the room in the buff? This is what, the eightieth time now? Keep it up and I may make a move on yeh."

"You couldn't handle me Siobhan."

I grabbed a white shirt and a cute blue skirt, but decided that it needed something else so I grabbed a blazer out and threw that on too before standing on my bed trying to get a full length reflection in the mirror above the standard dorm dresser.

"Yeh look like you're about to ship out on duty, yeh daft Molly. Ditch the shirt."

At her insistence I reluctantly took off the blazer. "You don't think it's missing something?"

"I said the shirt, caffler. I swear, yeh talk big but by Jesus you are an eejit." She got up and pulled my shirt over my head and just glared at me as I tried to cover myself. She laughed heartily because really, it wasn't like she hadn't seen it all and then some over the past two weeks. Then Siobhan handed me back the blazer and helped me put it back on before she fastened the buttons. With a quirked eye brow she looked me over once again and then walked over to my drawer and pulled out a pair of denim capris. I should have probably been a little concerned that she knew what was in my drawers and where, but I was more astounded by her fashion sense. Who knew?

"Put these on and lose the bra...and before yeh start spouting off blarney, we can get yeh some tape if we need to, though I think it should be bang on unless yer planning on jumping up and down a lot like a fecking shite. Plus the tape hurts when it comes off and yer be effin and blindin fer hours."

Well I'll be damned. I looked awesome.

"Siobhan, you are my hero. I'd kiss you right now, but you made that hint about turning and I'd hate to have to let you down gently. It could make the rest of the year awkward."

"Just go and get at it hon. The frustration rolling off yeh arseholes is about to make me crazy." And with that, she was gone.

_Trust me babe, I'm gonna try and make it happen._

**EPOV**

A party. For most college freshman it was common place, but I wasn't overly enthusiastic tonight. Bella had gotten the invitation from Liam and was so excited about going that I couldn't deny her. Hell, I could never deny her anything, so this was no different. After all, the last party we went to was the welcome home fiasco her mother had thrown for her a little over a month ago when she returned from Europe. Bella insisted this party would erase those memories, but I wasn't so sure.

"Don't look so glum, chum" declared Emmett as he walked back into our room in just a pair of shorts with his towel slung around his shoulders. He had just come back from the shower, but seemed way too happy. Honestly, the large communal bathroom was nothing to be excited about.

"I'm kinda wondering the opposite of you man," I replied, turning the tables on him. He already knew I was apprehensive about the party since I had bitched about it for the last few hours. I just didn't want to ruin his good mood with my shitty one. "I just ran into Rose."

"Well, that explains a lot."

"She's going to that party tonight."

"Dude, you were only going to play my wingman and help me keep an eye on Liam. Rose being there is just going to distract you." I was starting to feel like the plan we'd concocted a few hours ago was beginning to fall apart. Em didn't want to go to the party initially, claiming instead that he wanted to get some homework done. Of course I didn't buy it. Who in their right mind would do homework on a Friday night? No red blooded American 19 year old boy, that's who.

"Fuck E, it's not like I can grope her all night long. She's going with one of her best friends who is Kappa Gamma Gamma. Apparently, this is some joint party with Sigma Chi, so I'm assuming that Liam is rushing there." I inwardly cursed the fact that I had forgotten this was a sorority & fraternity party. Claire had asked me about going earlier in the week and I brushed her off. Now I felt like a douche since I would be coming to the party after all. I quickly told myself to just tell her it was a spur of the moment decision and hope she wasn't upset. After all, I was probably stuck in classes with her for the next four years.

"Weren't you gonna rush there?" I questioned as I stood up and moved towards my closet, trying to think of what to wear to the party tonight.

"Yeah, but I heard a bunch of rumors that they were all assholes, so I decided against it. I don't think the whole frat thing is for me, though I'm not against hitting up one of their parties. Anyways, tonight it's not like I can even acknowledge her existence," he said with a sigh as he sat on his bed and shook his hair, sprinkling me in the process.

"You can be such an ass."

"It's not like you're planning to wear that holy t-shirt and shorts to the party tonight, so shut it."

"Douche.

"Dick. If you keep giving me lip, I won't keep an eye on Liam for you tonight."

"Fine. I just need some sort of reassurance that you have my back, Emmett."

"I'm going to watch him dude, don't worry. However, I'm also gonna make sure no one unsavory goes near Rosalie." I nodded my head as I started sorting through my plethora of shirts for anything decent.

"So you can't have Rose, so you've determined no one else can either?" I questioned as I grabbed a blue shirt and contemplated wearing it for a bit before putting it back in the closet.

"Well…um… sorta?"

"You don't sound so sure, man."

"Honestly, I'm not. Rose and I have this serious connection. This intense and all-consuming spark that happens when we are like within a mile of each other, ya know?" Of course I knew. This was exactly how I felt about Bella. "I'm trying to behave, be patient and follow the rules, but I am _this close_ to dropping the class, Edward." Emmett held his thumb and forefinger closely together and groaned. "She's it man. I've slept with her once and kissed her twice, but I'm certain of it. I'd do anything to be with her, but she refuses to let me drop this class."

"Have you told her this?"

"Well, not in so many words."

"Listen man, how you feel about Rose s exactly how I feel about Bella. I won't lose her, not without a fight."

"And you're certain Liam wants her?"

"You saw him at the HUB man, he's shifty."

"Just trust your girl then. She's never been anyone's doormat and I don't expect her to start now. Remember back in the third grade when Newton suggested she eat dirt, claiming it was just crumbled brownie?" I laughed at the memory and the subsequent trip to the ER he had to take when Bella punched him in the nose and he insisted it was broken. "She's a smart cookie and I'm certain she will see right through him and his fake shit."

"I hope you're right Em."

At nine, Emmett and I met Bella down in the lobby of the residence building. She was talking happily with Rosalie when we walked up. Of course, Rosalie just exchanged pleasantries with Emmett and I, hardly acknowledging us before the four of us headed across campus together. Of course before we had a chance to leave the building, I pulled Bella aside.

"What in the hell are you wearing?" I asked as I looked her up and down oh so slowly, taking in every sweet inch of her. She looked hot. Too hot for a fucking frat party that we were invited to by Liam the dick.

"It's a pair of jean capris and a blazer. You've seen them both a million times," Bella countered as she rested her hand on her hip and sighed at me. She was getting frustrated, but I didn't care at this point. She was not leaving the building like that.

"Yeah, but usually you have something under them."

"I do have something under them."

"What?"

"A pink thong. If you play your cards right, you can see it later," Bella added with a wink as I smacked my hand against my forehead in frustration and hid the fact that I needed to adjust myself. Jesus fuck, tonight was going to be rough.

"Umm… I meant under the jacket thing. There's nothing there."

"Can you see my boobs?" Bella questioned as she looked down and pulled the lapels of the jacket closed. "This was all Siobhan's idea. She thought it looked hot and modern. You can't see them right?"

"Well, not technically, but everyone will think there is nothing underneath it," I pointed out as Bella laughed and moved forward to stand alongside Rosalie, who was wearing a rather skin tight dress that hugged all her curves.

"It doesn't matter what they think Edward. No one will see under it but you. Remember our discussion on trust. Now is one of those times where you need to trust me." With that, the girls linked arms and pushed their way out the door, walking in front of us and happily gossiping the entire way to fraternity row. Emmett's eyes never moved once from Rosalie's ass and a few times I actually had to snap my fingers in front of him to get his attention when the girls asked him a question.

When we arrived, the fraternity and sorority houses hosting the party were directly across from each other, making the entire party really kind of easy. People were milling about on the front lawns and walking in between both houses. Some of them were cheering on the local band that was playing and others looked too stoned or drunk to know where they were. All four of us looked at each other and were unsure of which direction to head in. Rosalie suggested that she drag Bella into the Kappa house to meet her friend Rebekah, while Emmett and I wandered over to Sigma Chi. I wasn't overly keen on the whole idea obviously, but I relented.

Not two minutes after we walked into the Sigma house, we saw Liam chatting with some guys at a pool table, his eyes darting to the front door constantly. "Is it just me, or is he on the lookout for someone… possibly Bella?" questioned Emmett as I nodded my head slowly in agreement.

"Let's go find a drink. I'm sure Bella will be here in like ten to fifteen minutes." Emmett followed me and the traffic through the house. In the large living room area they had a large assortment of drinks set up, so we both grabbed sodas, mainly because we wanted to keep on our toes for the rest of the night. "Do you think I should go say 'hi'?"

"Depends, were you going to say hi and punch him in the gut or say hi and be nice?"

"I was going to be polite to him. Well, I was going to try anyways. I think that would fuck with him more, don't you think?"

"Sounds like a plan." So, Emmett and I walked back into the main room where the pool table was set up and quickly found Liam, still chatting to his two friends.

"Hey Liam," I said genially as I walked up to him with Emmett at my side and took a drink of my soda. "Decent party you guys have going on here." Liam's eyes darted around the room again and he was definitely looking for Bella now.

"Thanks for coming. Where's your girl?" he asked, a little snidely as Emmett coughed on his drink beside me.

"She's with her RA Rosalie, checking out the Kappa house."

"Oh, is she thinking of pledging?" he questioned, but this time his voice sounded hopeful. He didn't seriously think Bella would do that, did he?

"Um no. Rosalie's best friend is a Kappa, so she went to introduce them. I'm sure she will be around soon. However, I think Bella would really appreciate it if you and I got to spend some time together and got to know each other," I said through clenched teeth. This was harder than I thought it would be; having to be nice to someone I loathed with every fiber of my being.

"Umm… yeah, she probably would like that, but I am actually a little busy right now," Liam claimed as he motioned towards the table where his friends were playing.

"Another time then," I said as I nodded and watched as Liam's eyes moved towards the door and grew wide as Bella walked in. If this had been one of those cartoon type moments, his mouth would have literally hit the edge of the pool table with a loud thud.

With Rosalie at her side, Bella sauntered over to us like she owned the place and put her arm around my waist tightly. "You girls are back fast," I said as I heard Emmett growl beside me. I looked up and we both saw Liam leaning forward slightly, as though he was looking at Bella's chest. Then he looked over and his eyes swept over Rosalie, making Emmett even more furious.

"Yeah well, Rebekah took one of the pledges to the hospital after she fell and broke her ankle. It seems freshman from Iowa can't hold their booze. So here we are," Rosalie announced as she backed away slightly from Emmett to make it seem like they were nothing more than casual acquaintances.

"Are my eyes deceiving me or are you two boys trying to get along?" Bella questioned as I draped my arm over her shoulder and kissed her temple, staring down Liam the entire time. When I looked down though, I could see a bit of rosy pink of Bella's nipple and whispered to her as she clutched tightly at her jacket. Perhaps that will get her to keep it tighter against her, or never wear it with nothing underneath again.

"I was actually just going to invite Edward and his friend Elliott to a game of pool."

"Actually, you weren't," I began to say before Emmett interrupted me.

"The name is Emmett, you insufferable ass. We've told you like six times, so don't act like you don't know it, loser," Emmett snapped angrily as Rosalie clutched at his shoulder, whispered something quietly at him and he stormed away. She waited a little bit before following out the door, trying to make it seem like she wasn't actually following him.

"What the fuck is his problem?"

"Well, Emmett took the time to learn your name. Don't you think it's logical if you do the same?" I replied as Bella looked up at me with a stern face. She didn't want me to cause trouble, and neither did I, sort of. Well, at least not tonight.

"I just have a shitty memory, my bad man," Liam said with a nervous groan as he looked over at Bella, no doubt hoping that she didn't think he was an asshole. Some other guys walked up and began to use the pool table, so Liam ushered us out onto the front lawn as he and Bella began talking about the class they took together. I contributed every now and again, but Liam seemed hell bent on interrupting every single thing I had to say.

However, he was also being overly nice. He asked me a few times about my classes and even had the gall to ask me what I did during my summer while _he _was in Europe with Bella. It didn't escape me that he emphasized the fact that I was alone while he was with my girlfriend. Of course, I just pulled Bella close to me and kissed her cheek, assuring him that while Bella and I were physically apart, we managed to spend a lot of time together and our relationship thrived, solidifying our love for one another.

Only an hour into our arrival, Liam excused himself and began chatting up some little blonde thing that was clearly a Kappa Gamma Gamma pledge. I felt relieved at his absence and Bella and I actually managed to enjoy some of the party. Later in the night, we noticed Rosalie and Emmett walking back towards the dorms with a few other students, but Bella seemed interested in staying until we saw Claire walking out of the Kappa house with some of her friends. "Isn't that the girl from your class?" Bella questioned as I took a sip of my drink, finishing it. "Claire, right?"

I pretended to squint as I looked across the yard and nodded at Bella. "Sure looks like her. She invited me to the party a few days ago and I never told her we were coming."

"Well, it's not like you had much advance notice, right?" Bella said with a laugh as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. I had been overly affectionate with her all night, but she didn't seem to mind, and I thoroughly enjoyed rubbing it in Liam's face, if I was being completely honest. "You think she will be upset when you see her in class next week?"

"I don't talk to her that often, Bella, so I have no idea. If she does ask, I'll just tell her the truth."

"Okay babe," Bella replied casually as I leaned down to whisper into her ear.

"Now, speaking of the truth. That jacket and what is not underneath it has been mocking me all fucking night," I said darkly as I pulled her away from the lawn of the frat house and down the street, back towards the dorms. "I think it would be a shame to not get to fully explore that outfit tonight, Miss Swan."

Bella cocked her eye brow at me, fully playing along. "Oh really, Mr. Cullen? What did you have in mind?"

"To be blunt, all I can think about is fucking you." Bella let out a small groan as I stopped her dead in her tracks, wrapped my arms around her waist as I stood before her and began slowly licking from her chest up to her chin, tasting her sweet skin. "I trust that works for you?"

"Hell yes it works for me," she said excitedly as she kissed me hard on the lips as her hand moved between our bodies, palming my already hard dick. "I think we need to hurry, though. He could burst at any moment."

Bella and I practically ran back to the dorms and we got off the elevator at my floor, since it was the lowest, and hoped like hell Emmett wasn't around. I pushed us into the room and unbuttoned the three buttons holding her blazer closed as I shut the door with my foot. My hands immediately grasped at her breasts and I pulled one of her soft pink nipples into my mouth, nibbling torturously as my fingers pinched the other, feeling it harden under my touch.

"Lock the door, Edward," Bella panted out, which was contradictory to the fact that she was holding my head against her breasts, practically purring for more. I reluctantly pulled away and locked the door, wedging a chair behind it to give us some warning if Emmett arrived because we didn't want a repeat of the Siobhan incident ever again.

When I turned back around, Bella was shimmying her tight as fuck capris from her body, completely bent over. I couldn't resist myself as I grabbed her hips and pressed my jean clad hard on right against the crack of her ass. I leaned forward, my chest against her back as I began to lick at her ear lobe. "I've never had you like this before."

"What's stopping you now, baby?" Bella replied, shocking the hell out of me. Of course, nothing was stopping me, so I stripped all of my clothes off and Bella grabbed onto the foot board of my bed, spreading her legs wide as I admired the view before coming back behind her. I was already hard as a fucking rock, but I let my fingers slip gently between her pussy lips, finding her more than wet and ready for me. "Edward, just fuck me," she replied as she turned her head around to look at me. She looked so fucking delicious and sweet, yet seductive that I reached into my dresser drawer and pulled out a condom, sheathing myself excitedly before lining up, my cock rubbing her clit slowly.

"Ungh," she purred as I kept one hand on her hip and slowly moved the other up along her back, to entangle in her hair.

"What was that you wanted baby?"

"Fuck…" she hesitated for a moment before continuing as I eased three fingers inside of her, teasing her. "I want your … cock. Fuck me," she added as I felt somewhat emboldened by the fact that she actually said cock. I slipped my fingers out of her, tasting them with a smile on my face, as I eased my dick inside her hot body. Fuck, she was perfection.

"Oh god," I groaned as I held myself still for a moment before I finally couldn't handle it anymore and found myself pistoning in and out of her as fast as I could. "You are mine baby, no one else's."

"No one else, Edward," Bella growled as I continued fucking her as hard as I could. "I love only you. It's always been you."

"It will _always _be me baby," I added as I leaned forward and peppered her back with kisses for a moment. "You and I were meant to be together. This… us… we were destined, baby."

"Oh fuck yes… fuck me… so much better," Bella said through clenched teeth as I continued moving within her, wondering what the hell she was talking about now, certainly not the same possessive conversation we were involved in a moment earlier.

"Better than what?" I questioned as Bella arched her back slightly and groaned loudly.

"Better than my own fingers," she yelled out in ecstasy as I paused for a moment, getting caught in my own thoughts. Holy fuck. She played with herself. Bella just admitted she played with herself and I was completely caught off guard. Bella noticed that I had stilled and I felt her tense around me. "What's wrong?"

"I just… I never even considered the fact that you ever played with yourself." It was true. I may have dreamed about it, but I never actually considered it was true. Right now though, knowing it actually happened, I was turned on more than ever. I continued fucking my girl, wrapping one hand around her waist to reach down and flick her clit, urging her to come for me.

"Edward?" Bella panted as she came undone around my dick, as I neared the edge of my own release.

"Yeah?"

"When I play… I always think of you." And that fucking did it for me. I came so fucking hard I immediately had to lay down, bringing Bella down onto my bed with me. We curled around each other, kissing furiously and whispering sweet 'I love you's before I pulled the blankets of my bed up around us, unwilling to let her go back to her own room tonight, even if Emmett did come back.

"Bella?" I asked as I felt her falling asleep in my arms, her breathing becoming labored.

"What?"

"Did you umm… mean what you said earlier?"

"About what?"

"About thinking about me when you played with yourself?"

"Yes, Edward. Was our phone sex that forgettable that you didn't remember me playing then? Now can I go to sleep?"

"No, it was not forgettable, but we were together… sorta. I knew you were doing it. I just never thought you did it alone… without me. Does this make any sense?

"No, not really. Sleep would be good."

"Can I ask one more question?"

"Okay."

"When did you start… you know… was it before we dated?"

"Long before we dated. Now shut up and go to bed."

Irish to English Dictionary: Caffler = Idiot Blarney = nonsense Bang on = good Effin & Blindin = cursing & swearing At it = have sex


	21. Transient

**A/N: We don't own Twilight; we just like to mess with SM's characters a little bit for our own fun.**

**More at the end.**

**BPOV**

When Edward and I woke up the afternoon following the party, we both knew we were back on track. Not that I ever thought we were off track, but things were better. I would continue to keep Liam at a safe distance and Edward was content to let me handle it, or at the very least he would try and keep most of his thoughts to himself. I wasn't going to hold my breath that Emmett would follow suit, but all I had to do was mention Rosalie and he was sufficiently distracted. All in all we were in a good little routine and went about our lives doing the same ol' same ol'.

Hours turned into days which turned into weeks and it was October before I even realized it. Edward was frequently busy with projects for his classes and I was logging mad hours in the library. We didn't even need to see a clock to know where the other was at any given time, we were so in tune with the other, which was really kind of sweet but it was a little pathetic too. He knew he could always find me on the third floor of the library and that I would be in study room number eight. I knew which project group of his met on which afternoons and in which buildings. He knew that on Tuesday afternoons that I'd need to gripe about my social media professor, and I knew that on Wednesday mornings he went back to his dorm room to shower after class because he inevitably smelled like the Designer Impostors perfume that Claire wore/bathed in. Those mornings I met him outside his door, conveniently needing a shower in his private bathroom as well and he never complained. Nor did I; I wasn't stupid.

Still, I was maybe just a little bit concerned that my life was quite possibly on its way to getting in a teeny tiny little rut, and that was not cool. If I wanted a rut, I could have stayed in Forks. I shuddered at the thought. So, throwing my pink highlighter into my bag and slamming my laptop shut a little too loudly, much to the chagrin of the librarian on duty, I decided to find something else to do. I didn't need something as life changing as London or even as raucous as another party, just something fun, spontaneous and completely random because if I had to red line another article for my class I might just lose my mind.

I walked outside into the quad and breathed in, taking in the afternoon warmth and feeling the sunshine on my face. I felt better already and decided just to plop down in the middle of the grass and see what I could find to do on the UW website. They were pretty good about listing opportunities and activities so I figured it would be an easy place to start, especially since I wasn't exactly sure what I was even looking for. There were a bunch of volunteer opportunities out there and I made a note to check with Edward and Emmett about being part of a Habitat team in the spring because that was just an incredible cause. However, as I was visualizing watching Edward work with his hands to build a house, my mind suddenly growing rather dirty, I saw a colorful banner ad catch my eye. Fuck yes...I was all over it. I didn't care what it cost or when it was. I was all over it like white on rice.

I was about to sign myself up for a Bob Ross painting class. Total win.

I can't even begin to tell you how many hours I spent watching that man create his masterpieces. During her 'we will only watch PBS in this house' phase, Renee morphed into quite the Bob Ross junkie. In fact, I'm pretty sure she has a CD, mix tape or something with all his Ross-isms that she would listen to when she wanted to meditate. I mean, was it even possible to stress out while listening to that man? Doubtful. _'People look at me like I'm a little strange, when I go around talking to squirrels and rabbits and stuff. That's ok. Thaaaat's just ok.'_ Ahhhh, the memories. The class was on at nine o'clock on Saturday mornings for the next six weeks...perfect. It would end right before Thanksgiving break so it shouldn't interfere with exam prep time or anything like that. I called the number on the website and eagerly signed myself up. I was so freakin' excited.

So with something fun on the horizon and a renewed sense of adventure, frivolity or something, I sent a text to Edward letting him know I'd meet him back at the dorm instead of the library and had to laugh when I got one back from him almost immediately asking if I was okay. See...predictable, but very sweet. I'd have to make sure he know I appreciated his concern later. **wink**

And I did. Thoroughly.

Still, that night found me back in my room while Edward studied and Emmett 'accidentally' ended up at the same coffee shop as Rosalie, and Siobhan was on campus auditioning for a role in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I honestly thought about going to watch because there was no way that that could be anything but epic but eventually decided just to stay in and catch up on my correspondence. Which meant Facebook and Twitter.

_Bella Swan is bored._

No. I didn't really like that because it sounded worse than it was. There was nothing worse than somebody who used their Facebook status to send cryptic messages as a silent plea for attention. So I tried again. Maybe this time I'd go introspective and philosophical.

_Bella Swan How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?_

Wood. Ha! Still, that wasn't right

Finally, I decided to go with a safe stand by...the random song lyric.

_Bella Swan... choking on the splinters_

Nope...inevitably some idiot, Liam or Emmett no doubt, would look past the brilliance of Loser and turn that into some backwards insult to Edwards peen, which it wasn't at all. So I just moved on to a different one.

_Bella Swan...things are going to change, I can feel it._

Motherfucking perfect.

And right on schedule I heard my phone, signaling a new text message.

_Somebody has a case of status ADD._

Nettie. Bless her, she was always popping up at the right time, and at that moment her randomness was exactly what I needed. I started to respond when she hit me with another classic Nettie-ism.

_A pigs' orgasm lasts for 30 minutes._

While that both made me a bit jealous and a bit nauseous, because seriously that could be rather messy, I was thankful that the months of texting with Nettie had taught me never to eat or drink while waiting for her messages, because that would undoubtedly resulted in a screen spray. I also fired one right back at her, because I was prepared.

_The 'sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick' is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language._

_Well played. Now, what's got you all unsettled?_

_This is probably better over the phone...are you home? _I really wasn't sure what I was going to say to her, but there were so many ways words and phrasing could be misconstrued over texts and chats that it was probably best if we talked.

_Actually...no. Tomorrow?_

_Tomorrow. Have a painting class in the morning, but will be around after that. No plans. Big surprise there._

_Painting class?_

_Yup. Bob Ross. Happy little squirrels and shit._

Then there was nothing.

_Nets?_

_OMG...I have no squirrel facts._

That's it. On Sunday, I would find myself in a church. The apocalypse was surely upon us.

Edward came over after he finished studying and we sat on my bed and watched Dazed and Confused. He went back to his room to sleep after some pretty heavy duty kissing...which sometimes I enjoyed even more than sex because the intimacy level was just off the charts and I ended up sleeping better than I had in days. In fact, I don't think I even moved until my alarm went off.

I showered and dressed quickly in some shorts and one of Edwards white v-neck t-shirts since it was inevitable that I would get paint on me somewhere. I grabbed a bag, my phone, opened the door...and almost ran over Nettie.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" I grabbed her around the neck and jumped up and wrapped my legs around her waist which probably wasn't the best idea because we could have easily ended up in a pile on the floor. Still, I was just so excited. I squeezed her until she squeaked not realizing my own strength and finally stopped talking when I got hit in the back of the head by a flying shoe.

"Sorry Siobhan." Eep! I reached behind me and closed the door, grabbing Nettie and pulling her out into the hall where I could figure out what in the world she was doing here. In pure Nettie fashion, she didn't seem to think it was such a big deal and anticipated every question before I even got it out of my mouth.

"How?"

"Plane."

"Why didn't..."

"I wanted to surprise you and keep you from coming up with some half-assed excuse as to why it wasn't a good time. Besides, you've seemed a bit off lately."

"So you bought..."

"Gramps owns the plane, Sweets."

"Owns?"

"He invented something a long time ago. He adores me. He was bored, so I got him to fly me out here."

"He's here too?"

She looks around. "He is?" Then she winks at me. "Look Bella, does it matter how I got here? I haven't seen you in months and I had the chance, so I took it. You, of all people, should be a big believer in that." She was right, and she was also wearing a smock...and a beret...though she looked more like the kid from the Little Debbie packages than an artist. She was so random and so goofy and just full of awesomeness.

"You're right hon. How long are you here?"

"Well, gramps is at some Indian Casino blowing his fortune, so I figure I have about 36-48 hours before he realizes how long he's been gone and tries to check in. So late Sunday I would guess? Think I can crash on your floor?"

"I'm pretty sure I can find a space for you. I take it you're coming with me to my art class?"

"Oh, you still want to do that?" She looked confused and I looked back at her even more so because if she wasn't planning on taking the class with me, I was totally not getting the outfit. But then again, it was Nettie, and she is totally fucking random.

"Hell yes I'm taking it. Bob Ross AND Nettie? There's no way I'm passing that up. Let's go."

Forty-five minutes into the three hours class, we found ourselves walking back towards the dorms. Apparently we talked too much and laughed too much and maybe Nettie was right when she said my happy little tree looked a bit too much like a penis...and when she started talking about Edwards's maybe I did drop my pallet with all the paints on it. But in my defense, I'd been sufficiently pleased in that department, so maybe it was on my mind just a little bit. Still, when she asked if I ever thought he would get it pierced and I started imagining it; well, I got just a little bit distracted. So yeah...we got kicked out. Oops.

We stopped for coffee on the way and sat outside at one of the tables with the big umbrellas and caught up. I filled her in on all things Liam, in even more detail than I had done over our Skype conversations or through emails. Some things are just harder to convey over distance and she helped me understand Edward a bit more, though we did agree that he was over-reacting just a little bit. It was good to get some third party perspective and it made me realize that maybe both Edward and I were guilty of letting our pride get in the way of our relationship. Nettie was wise. She was my Yoda.

"So where is your man this morning? I'd like to finally meet him since I know what his cock looks like." I choked on my coffee...texting aside, apparently I still hadn't learned to not eat or drink in general when interacting with her. "Still can't say it?" she teased

"I'm working on it. I can say ass instead of butt cheeks now," I winked back at her and laughed as I fished for my phone which was lost somewhere in the bottom of my bag. I swear, it could be the only thing in there and I still would have trouble finding it. When I finally found it and looked at the screen, I was shocked.

Five missed calls? All from Edward?

"Oh my God, I forgot to call him this morning Nettie! Shit shit shit shit shit!" I frantically hit the speed dial button and waited while Edwards's phone rang. Voice mail. Shit.

"Hey, it's me. I meant to call you this morning but Nettie showed up and I got so excited that I just forgot. Anyway, you have to meet her and she wants to meet you but don't let her touch you inappropriately because she will..."

Nettie chimes in from across the table, "I make no promises!"

"Anyway, I signed up for a class today that was supposed to last six weeks but we got kicked out and I don't know if they'll let me back in next Saturday or not. Gosh, where are you? I'm so sorry I forgot to call you. We're at DeBeen...come find us, if you want. I'll text you if we..."

And I got cut off since my message ran so long. I debated calling him back or texting him, but that might seem a little stalker-ish since I just called thirty seconds ago, so I decided to give him a few minutes to check his messages or something. Besides, he was probably in the shower. It was only eleven in the morning after all. He didn't have anything scheduled this morning, because I know his schedule. I plopped my phone on the table and folded my arms before sighing and resting my forehead on them, effectively hiding myself from the world.

"Everything alright?" Nettie asked quietly before scooching her chair over until she was right next to me. She started to play with my hair and just listened to me go on and on about everything and nothing. Why hasn't he called me back yet and do I even have the right to ask that after I forgot to call him? By the time I stopped talking, Nettie had braided every inch of my hair. "You look like Medusa. It totally works on you though."

I tried to see my reflection in the windows of the coffee shop, but all that did was get the people inside looking at me and I'm not gonna lie, I may have been thrilled at the horrified looks on their faces. Then I looked down at the ends of the braids and realized they were fastened with what looked like twist ties from bread bags. I looked at Nettie and started to ask why she had all of them with her, but then decided it was better just to let it go. There were some things I was better off not knowing.

I still hadn't heard anything from Edward when we were done with our coffee, so I sent him a quick text just letting him know we were heading back to my room in case he listened to the voice mail I left him. We passed Siobhan, who told me she got a call back for the role of Maggie the Cat...and would have totally believed her if she hadn't snorted. She never was able to lie well. She was actually going back to see if there was any room for her in the stage crew department. Apparently, wielding a hammer was more her speed. I held my breath as I introduced my former and current roommates, but after they had given each other the once over they seemed to get along just fine. In fact, Nettie had actually heard of Seamus' band, which made Maggie a little too excited, signaling to me that it was time to separate them.

"Oh Bella," Siobhan called over her shoulder as we started to walk away, "Edward came by the room about ten minutes after you left. I told him I'd get you to call him. He muttered something about sporks and walked away."

"Thanks. I called him a little while ago, but I'm thinking I need to track him down. Oh, and do you mind if Nettie crashes in our room tonight?"

"Only if she promises to fix my hair like that too," called back Siobhan with a serious expression on her face and we all just laughed at the complete fuckery of the situation.

After the sleeping arrangements were established, we finally made it back to the dorm. The plan was to drop Nettie off at my room because she wanted to shower after her flight and maybe take a little nap since she flew all night and didn't really sleep. I had to chuckle at the vision of Nettie flapping her little arms up and down as she made her way to UW...because if anybody was going to have the ability to fly, it was her. Then I was going to walk down to find Edward and once Nettie was awake, we would all meet up for some sort of fun tonight. What I didn't expect was to turn the corner to our suite and find Edward sitting outside my bedroom door.

"Hi," I said looking at him and wanting to curl up in his lap.

"Hi," he answered simply. He didn't really seem mad or irritated, he almost seemed a little sad.

We stared at each other for a few minutes not really saying anything until Nettie chimed in. "I can't believe I flew all this way just to meet you and you can't even give me a hug!" She reached down and grabbed his hands and pulled until he stood up. Then she wrapped her arms around him and mouthed the words "he's hot" over Edwards' shoulder before grabbing his ass. I laughed so hard I cried.

Effectively breaking the ice, Edward started laughing awkwardly and I reintroduced them to each other. I gave the key to my room to Nettie and she promised to text me when she was cleaned up and rested. I grabbed Edwards' hand and we went back to his room, he seemed like he needed some cuddles, and I could deny him nothing.

I sat on the edge of his bed and patted his pillows until he came and lay down. I curled up beside him and filled him in on everything. The class, how Nettie surprised me this morning and how that threw everything off, Siobhan and even the pig orgasms, which he didn't believe until I made him wiki it. He still seemed a bit off though and I could tell he had something on his mind.

"Hey. You okay? You don't seem like yourself this morning." I looked at the clock beside his bed. "Um, this afternoon."

"I'm okay. I didn't sleep all that well and I've just got some shit on my mind. That's all. I'm okay." Which meant he wasn't. Two 'okays' in the same sentence never boded well.

"I really am sorry I forgot to call you this morning. I was just surprised and excited."

"Bella, don't apologize okay? You should never apologize for going and doing something fun with your friends. I said I was fine. You don't need to tell me everything going on all the time." Edward paused for a brief moment and I could tell that even though he said he was fine, I knew he wasn't. He also wasn't really telling me what was wrong either. "I don't want to ever make you feel like you have to check with me before you do something. I just missed you this morning, that's all. I just feel like I haven't seen you lately."

Which was odd because I saw him every day, just like always.

"You don't make me feel like that at all, baby. I tell you so you'll know, not because I feel like I have to ask permission. It's always good to let somebody know where you're going to be in case there is an emergency. Cops' kid, remember?" I elbowed him remembering that wonderful afternoon in my mom's car.

"How could I forget" he joked back, and while the smile didn't quite reach his eyes, at least it was there.

"By the way, Bella… what the hell happened to your hair?"

"Nettie happened."

For the next little while, we lay on his bed and Edward rubbed my lower back and I held on to him tightly, both of us dozing off until I heard my phone chime on his table.

"Umph. Pbbbffft. Ow. Dude, you need to learn how to control your hair." I looked over and Edward was pulling a twist tie out of his mouth and one of my braids was coming undone. Oops.

"Sorry. I'll take them out, or you could do it before we shower?" He looked a little bit hopeful, but then I read the text message from Nettie. She was on her way down. "Oh wait, rain check...I don't think I'm ready for a threesome just yet."

"Did I hear somebody say threesome?" Edward and I jumped at the sound of Emmett's voice from under his covers. When the hell did he show up? "I came in to see you two sleeping, um, beauties?" He looked at my hair and cocked an eye brow in curiosity before continuing. "You looked so peaceful and you weren't fucking, so I figured I'd just let you continue to sleep since there was nothing fun to watch.

"Gee thanks Em, you're awesome," I replied sarcastically as both Edward and I rolled our eyes.

"Anything for you sweet cheeks."

Just as Emmett finished speaking, there was a loud knock on the door and then Nettie stormed in, taking a look at Edward and I in his bed and began talking in circles. "Macaques, cheetahs, hyenas and goats also perform oral sex–and, in many cases, swallow!"

The room suddenly fell silent and you could practically hear crickets in the background. There was lots of blinking and open mouths. But the silence didn't last, it never does.

"You don't know any facts about squirrels, but you know goats swallow?"

"You asked her about squirrel sex, Bella?" Edward questioned as his fingers twirled awkwardly around my odd braids.

"Who the fuck is this girl and why have I never met her?" Emmett shouted out, clearly frustrated that he hadn't had the chance to meet Nettie previously. With Emmett's small outburst, things seemed to be back to normal, well normal for us.

The rest of the night flew by. Edward insisted that I spend time with Nettie...but I wasn't so sure it was because he was being generous or because whatever it was that he had on his mind was bothering him. I was a bit worried honestly, though Nettie and Siobhan's karaoke rendition of Islands in the Stream did manage to distract me a bit. Then again, maybe it just traumatized me enough to realize that I only had a few hours left before Nettie left the next morning - apparently her grandfather, Aro, met a woman at the Indian Casino and they were jetting off to some Sandals Resort or something. Both of us squeezed into my twin bed and talked until the wee hours of the morning.

"Edward loves you a lot you know," she whispered during one of the few minutes that Siobhan wasn't snoring.

"I know he does and I love him too. It has been so awesome lately, which is why I can't figure out what's going on with him today, or with me lately, if I'm being honest. There isn't anything I would change about Edward or us, I just feel stagnant. No, that's not the right word. I just, I don't know. I just feel like I'm losing myself when I don't even really know who I am to begin with."

We both were quiet for a moment while I contemplated my words and my thoughts and tried to make sense of whatever it was I was feeling. I wasn't unhappy, I was happy...but it didn't seem like enough. I just couldn't figure out what.

"I read a quote one time that you may need to think about. 'Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.' I don't know him well, but I feel pretty safe saying Edward doesn't love you because you are at UW or are a journalism major. His love for you isn't based on what you do or what you wear or what you decide to do with the rest of your life. He'll love you if you move back to Forks after graduation or if you decide to interview penguins in Antarctica. All he wants for you is to be happy...and maybe come along for the ride. I think he knows you're struggling with some internal decisions and he doesn't know how to fix it. Just don't lose him while you find you. Do you still have your E.C. Lips playlist?"

"How did you know?"

"I didn't until just now, but I thought I might have been right. Anyway, do you still have it?" I nodded as I thought about what she was saying. "Good. Listen to it and remember how he made you feel before you had him, though you and I both know you always had him.

"I love you Nettie." And I did.

"I know you do and I love you too, but keep your hands to yourself tonight."

She was right. In the process of being me, I was risking losing the person I loved the most. Tomorrow I was going to find Edward and talk about everything. Once she left the next day, I logged on to Facebook to upload some pictures from our night. I left my status alone.

**EPOV**

"You're annoying me," scolded Emmett as I sat on my bed, anxiously looking through Facebook to see what some of my former classmates were up to these days. Mike Newton apparently got really drunk at a party and puked in some bushes. Really classy to put that as your Facebook status, idiot.

"How am I annoying you? I'm silently sitting here reading shit on my computer. Is my breathing bothering you? Do you need me to stop living?" I snapped back as Emmett tossed his pencil down on his drafting table and let out a groan of frustration. Over the past few days he had been relatively quiet and that was a little disconcerting. Emmett talked to me about everything, especially things I didn't want to know about like sexual positions, the mass quantity of food he consumed on a daily basis and even bodily functions, to put it nicely. However, he wasn't upset, not in the least. Just quiet.

"You're moping and seeing your sad face is distracting and annoying. I'm having trouble getting my work done."

I certainly didn't think I was moping; I was just trying to keep myself busy as my mind ran a mile a minute, wondering why I hadn't heard from Bella, even though it was only ten in the morning. It wasn't like her to be so… unavailable. Sure, I didn't expect her to be at my beck and call 24/7, but she was usually so open with me about where she was going and what she was doing. Even when we weren't dating and we were simply Edward and Bella – best friends since birth, she would tell me when she was going to the mall with Angela, or to do some new fangled activity with her mom like bonsai tree trimming or macramé. I was beginning to get worried, though I would never tell Emmett that, so instead, I changed topics and put the focus back on Emmett.

"Why the fuck aren't you doing this shit on computers? Isn't everything done on computers these days?"

"Not everything, idiot," Emmett remarked as he got up from behind his desk and grabbed himself a can of Dr. Pepper from our small fridge. "One of my professors thinks it's beneficial if we can draft on paper and on the computer. He said it makes us more versatile, but I just think he's too lazy to learn the software since he's like 900 years old."

"Hey, I bought that," I said as I pointed at the drink he was about to consume. Emmett clearly thought that what was mine was also his.

"Yeah well… consider it your apology for annoying me. Now, tell me why the hell you are so fucking depressed when you are getting the pooty like crazy these days," he asked as he cracked open my drink and stared at me while chugging down almost half of it with a grin on his face. "Where is Bella, anyways?"

"I have no idea."

"What do you mean you have no idea, I thought you like lowjacked her or some shit to keep her away from Liam," Emmett said with a laugh, thought I didn't find his joke all that funny. "Did you chip her? Put on one of those collars that dogs wear for invisible fences?"

"You're an idiot," I replied as I sat up on my bed, my knees pulled to my chest defensively. "I tried to call her this morning and got no answer. When I went to her room earlier to see if she wanted to have some breakfast, I woke up Siobhan and she went all mental on me and I don't think anything she said was in English. I ended up getting flustered by her and muttered something about needing sporks before I walked away feeling like an idiot."

"I saw her in the HUB the other day and she told me I was as useless as a chocolate teapot. What the fuck does that even mean?" Emmett asked curiously as I ran my fingers through my hair and shrugged my shoulders. I had no fucking idea myself. "Anyways, how do you not know where she is?"

"Do you know where Rosalie is?"

"No, but I'm not dating Rosalie."

"Oh okay… you're not dating Rosalie," I said sarcastically as Emmett narrowed his eyes at me. "And I'm the fucking pope."

"Listen dude, you know I'm not dating her. I can't date her."

"Then where did you sleep the night of the frat party a few weeks back? Bella and I saw you leave with her and you never came home," I said suspiciously as Emmett smiled from ear to ear, making me immediately wary.

"I did come back actually. When I walked in the room, you and Bella were sprawled out naked in your bed. I didn't exactly want to sleep in the room with you guys, so I went down the hall to Teddy's room and stayed on his roommates bed since he was gone home for the weekend," Emmett declared with a straight face as I raised my eyebrows, unsure of whether to believe him or not. I continued stared at him, still trying to figure him out, when his mouth upturned slightly, one of his tells that he was lying.

"Ah-ha. I knew it. You got laid and you are using Teddy as your alibi."

"I didn't get laid."

"Yes you did. You went with Rosalie back to her room, boinked like bunnies and then claimed you came back here and found Bella and I naked, all so you could hide the fact that you have a secret girlfriend."

"I didn't sleep with her… we just… kinda made out and cleared third base." Emmett now had a huge smile plastered on his face and I couldn't help but kinda feel happy for the guy. He had basically pined over this girl all summer and things were moving along for them, even though they weren't supposed to be fraternizing at all. I knew Emmett wasn't worried about being caught, but Rosalie was. "I just wish she would let me drop the class she TA's. Life would be so much easier."

"What are you going to do?" I asked curiously as Emmett's phone began playing Mc Hammer's 'U Can't Touch This' as a ringtone and I immediately burst out laughing as he grasped for his phone, trying to answer it. His smile was so bright, I instantly knew it was Rosalie on the phone and then I laughed at the irony of his ringtone. He was such a moron.

He talked quietly to her for a few moments and I gave them a bit of privacy as I headed to the bathroom. When I came back, Emmett was grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair and was heading out. "Leaving so soon?"

"As much as I love this heart to heart and I would love to stick around to paint our nails, I have a better offer."

"Fine, abandon me in my time of need."

"You don't need me, Edward. You need Bella. You should go find her," Emmett said as he strolled out the door and closed the door firmly behind him.

I sat back on my bed and looked out the small window, our view of the student parking lot not giving me any sort of epiphany. I had been worried for the past few days that things were turning to shit between Bella and I, but of course I didn't want to tell her that. Back when we were just friends, things seemed so easy, but these days it seemed like it was much harder to keep us together. We each had our own routine and we knew the others like the back of our hands, but it was so predictable. Bella was infinitely more adventurous than I was, and I felt like I was holding her back or something. Sure, it could be completely irrational, but I never said I was smart when it came to matters of the heart.

This girl owned every ounce of me; heart, body and soul. I couldn't even fathom losing her, so I decided that rather than tell her my concerns, I would just keep my mouth shut. I didn't want to worry her, especially if she thought things were going well between us. Why rock the boat, right?

I turned back to my computer, looking for some comfort, but finding nothing but Bella's most recent status 'Things are going to change, I can feel it.'

My mind went back into overdrive as I began analyzing her status, wondering what the hell she was trying to say by quoting Beck. After over five minutes of stressing myself out, and worrying even more that I didn't know my girlfriend as well as I thought I did, I gave up. Her status could be nothing more than she was listening to him on her iPod. I lied down in my bed and felt my cell phone under my back. What the fuck?

"Jesus," I groaned as I looked at my phone and noticed Bella had called and sent a text. She must have called when I stepped out to give Emmett some privacy, and the douche couldn't be bothered to let me know. I listened to her frantic sounding message and groaned at how simple everything was, signaling that I had been worried for nothing. Her text mentioned that she was coming back to the dorms, so even though I knew I would look pathetic, I went upstairs and sat in front of her door, waiting for her to come back.

When I heard her voice through the hallway, my heart instantly jumped. Then, I heard a second voice that sounded somewhat familiar. I looked down at my feet, feeling even more pathetic and like I was intruding on Bella and Nettie. I was caught completely off guard when Bella walked up to me and said a soft 'Hi'. Her hair looked absolutely atrocious, but I wasn't going to say that to her. Especially not when she had such a huge smile on her face.

Nettie and I shared an awkward initial meeting, complete with her grabbing my ass a little too roughly, and she excused herself to have a shower and get some rest, as Bella dragged me back down to my bedroom. We curled up together and chatted, her anxiety over forgetting to call me soothing me somewhat, but Bella continued to press on as she thought something was wrong with me. I deflected her questions as best as I could and then managed to distract her by rubbing her back until she fell asleep. Of course, with the sound of her soft breathing and her body against mine, I couldn't help but fall asleep too.

When we woke later, courtesy of Nettie calling to let us know she was visiting, Bella could still tell something was off with me, but I didn't want to talk about it. Thank god Emmett and Nettie interrupted us because Bella deserved a weekend to have fun. She didn't need her boyfriend to ruin things for her or hold her back. She needed time with Nettie and I certainly didn't want to intrude.

I practically forced Bella into spending the night with her friends and I decided to stay in my room and try and catch up on a few movies I needed to watch for class. It was boring and I found myself wishing that Bella would just walk in the room and crawl into bed with me, making all my worries go away, but nothing happened. I never got even so much as text from Bella that night and I felt uneasy for the rest of the night, wondering why everyone was doing something but me. I checked my Facebook one more time before deciding to change my status.

_Edward Cullen …There's a hole in my pocket, that's about her size._

**A/N: Did you miss us? We had a bit of a busy time recently with CPW being sick and Risbee going away to the shore for a few days vacation. But, we are back and with Nettie no less. There's a few quick things we need to point out.**

**Fandom Gives Back Auction starts on Saturday and if you are interested in an outtake from this wonderful little story, search for Risbee in the auctions. We are auctioning off ABM through her profile. Risbee is also auctioning off a one shot of the buyers choice and CPW has a plethora of stuff for auction including 3 original one shots / outtakes from stories (not including MIFFY or ABM) and is auctioning off chapters of her soon to be expanded one shot, Room 15.**

**ABM has been featured on the Twi Fic Vagabond blog as their fic of the month. Woo Hoo! We are in the process of being interviewed for it, so check out the site, the interview will probably be up in a few days. Twificvagabond . blogspot . com**

**Also the super fabulous bgwillis has set up a thread for us on twilighted. Come play, even though we have been slack lately due to illness and vacation etc… www . twilighted . net/forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=9877**

**Ok, we're all good, now leave us some love and possibly some interesting squirrel facts!**


	22. Abandoned

**Risbee: First of all, we need to give a huge thanks to everyone who participated in the FGB and donated their time and/or money.**

**CPW: Yeah, a lot of money was raised and thanks to the money raised, you will see some new things from both me and Risbee in the coming weeks.**

**Risbee: I'm excited. Thanks to our beta MaggieMay14 for her guidance and funny comments and we also**** need to give lambcullen thanks for helping with the musical inspiration in this song.**

**CPW: Oh and we're on twitter. We're not very funny or even remotely interesting**

**Risbee: Good selling points**

**CPW: Shut it. Anywhoo, we don't own Twilight; but my A/C was on the fritz tonight and thank god my brother works in heating and air conditioning, or I would be melting right now and this chapter wouldn't get posted.**

**Risbee: Onto the show….**

**EPOV**

"So I found something fun for us to do," Bella stated as she met me in the HUB for lunch on Thursday afternoon. Tomorrow was Halloween and Bella had been bound and determined to find us something fun and different to do, even though I was more than content to simply lock us in my room and cuddle. Fuck, sometimes I was such a girl.

Oh, who was I kidding, I wanted to fuck.

Things had been slightly tense after Nettie's visit and Bella tried to ease my fears, even though I never spoke to her about them. She just seemed to sense that I was off and tried her hardest to make things better… easier, for us. So, I pushed my worries to the side for the past two weeks and tried to enjoy everything. Liam hadn't been an issue as of late, or if he was, Bella hadn't mentioned him to me. I knew they still had a class together, but she never discussed him, so I took this as a good sign. Not hearing or seeing Liam also alleviated my concerns. Bella was changing in college and I wasn't… it was inevitable, and I needed to get past it if I wanted to keep her as my girlfriend. Which I did, more than anything.

"It isn't going to be something lame like that pottery painting place you dragged me to last weekend, is it?" I questioned as Bella frowned at me. Bella was upset that she hadn't been allowed back into her Bob Ross painting class, with good reason too according to what I had heard about the scene she and Nettie had made. So, in lieu of going to paint, Bella called me and asked me to join her downtown. I was leery because I knew she wanted to do things on her own and I was trying to be supportive of her efforts. However, I jumped at the chance to spend time with her and realized why she hadn't told me in advance where she was. As I showed up at the pottery store that day, I knew immediately I would have said no.

"I'm sorry you are still traumatized over painting pottery with your mom and Alice. I thought it would be fun. Didn't you like the ashtray I painted for you?"

"I don't smoke."

"What happened to 'it's the thought that counts'?" laughed Bella anxiously as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"It's a good thing I love you and your wacky ways, Bella," I stated firmly as she grinned at me and turned her head to kiss me again. Our lips latched onto one another greedily and our mouths opened instantly, because we were so in sync with one another. Things became heated rather quickly and before we were interrupted by security for mauling each other in the middle of the HUB, I pulled away, feeling more than a little frustrated. "So… you have something for us to do on Halloween?"

"Rosalie and some of the other resident advisors are organizing a party in common room on the first floor of our dorm. She's gonna play the original Halloween movie in the media room, have drinks, non alcoholic, of course. We can dress up, dance, carve pumpkins, make voodoo dolls… whatever we want really. Did I mention we can dress up?"

Bella seemed a wee bit too excited about this party and the costumes, so I knew something was up. "You already have the costumes don't you?" I asked curiously as she nodded her head excitedly.

"I may have seen them in some magazine last month and immediately ordered them. They are perfect for us and you have to promise me that you will wear it." I instantly became skeptical. Bella wanted me to agree to wear it before I even saw it, which made me worry. "It's nothing too revealing."

"So I won't walk out of my dorm room tomorrow night in a loin cloth right?"

"Nope."

"And I won't look like Shrek and you won't be my Fiona right?"

"Nope."

"Are they matching costumes?"

"Maybe," Bella said shyly as she bit down on her bottom lip and I leaned in to kiss her once more.

"Fred and Wilma?"

"No, that would have been a good idea. Unfortunately, I know you are not a fan of red heads." Bella really did know me very well, didn't she?

"Football player and cheerleader?"

"No. Too easy."

"Pimp and Ho?"

"Who do I look like… Emmett?"

"Are you going to tell me if I guess?"

"No. You will see tomorrow night when I arrive at your room at seven."

"Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head?" I asked one last time before Bella broke out into raucous laughter.

"Do I look like I have a death wish? Siobhan and I are finally getting along."

The very next night, just like she said, Bella showed up at my room at seven carrying an oversized box that frightened me. "You trust me right?" she asked as she set the box on my bed and walked towards me, her eyes dark with lust. I nodded my head slowly as she kissed my chin slowly and then pulled away, reaching into the box with excitement in her eyes. "You are going to be a plug."

What. The. Fuck?

"And I am your socket."

"You have got to be shitting me."

"You don't like it," Bella stated as she tried to pull the costume back from me, the desire in her eyes being replaced with sadness.

"Did I say I didn't like it?"

"Your facial expression says it."

"I'm just surprised is all. These must have cost a pretty penny," I admitted anxiously. Neither Bella or I were swimming in money, so how the hell did she afford costumes that probably cost like $100 each?

"I'm going to sell them on eBay when I'm done with them. I should recoup some of my costs," Bella admitted shyly as I put the costume down on the bed and moved towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing her sweetly.

"The costumes are perfect really. You couldn't have gotten any more suitable either, cause I'm kinda hoping to stick my plug in your socket later tonight," I said cheesily as Bella moved forward against me, pressing her body against mine firmly.

"I'm glad we are thinking the same thing, Cullen," she replied as she kissed me again, this time threading her fingers in the hair at the back of my head and pulling me down towards her. Our mouths moving desperately against each other. "Maybe the party can wait and we can just…"

Bella was reading my mind and that of my cock, which was now straining against my jeans uncomfortably. I walked forwards, pushing her back against the edge of the bed and just as she sat down, my body leaning down to hover over her, Emmett came into the room shouting wildly.

"That woman is driving me mad," he yelled with his hands gesturing frantically over his head. "Oh shit, were you guys about to fuck. If so, I'll leave." Emmett's eyes then left Bella and I and darted to the costumes that sat on the end of my bed. "Ooh… sweet fucking costumes. Plug and socket, rockin'."

"What's wrong, Em?" Bella questioned as she sat back up, effectively cancelling the make out session I was planning to engage her in.

"Rosalie picked out a costume for me tonight and had one of her friends give it to me earlier. I'm pissed."

"Why?"

"She's gonna be all fucking hot, dressed like a playboy bunny and I am… I am the complete opposite and my costume sucks."

"What is it?" Bella questioned as Emmett groaned and handed us the box that held his costume. We both held back our laughter as we looked at the white button down shirt, pocket protector, thick rimmed glasses and multi-colored plaid pants. "You're a geek?" I muffled my laughter, but Bella starting howling loudly as she handed Emmett back the box and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"No, I'm not a fucking geek. Rosalie is doing this so no other girl will even look at me, but she gets to wear practically nothing. How is that fair?" Emmett yelled as he tossed the box across the room. "I want wanted to wear what she picked out, but there is no way in hell I am doing it now that I know what she is wearing. Talk about a double standard."

"Well, it's not like you guys can go with a couples' costume, seeing as you are not technically a couple, right?" Bella said succinctly as Emmett threw himself down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "Maybe Rosalie is just trying to make it seem like you guys are totally not together. Throw people off your scent, ya know?"

"I'm not wearing it."

"Do you have a better idea?" I asked as Emmett sat up slightly and looked at me with puppy dog eyes. "No, you are not wearing my costume."

"Can I borrow the car? I need to make a Wal-Mart run." I quickly relented, desperate for a few moments of quiet with Bella, and grabbed my keys. I tossed them to him with a hint of reluctance.

"Just don't do something stupid."

Emmett did not heed my warning and when he walked into the party in his costume, mouths fell open; especially Rosalie's. Emmett was dressed in just a loin cloth and a pair of sandals. His rather defined chest was all oiled up and looked smug as hell. This was not going to end well.

"What the fuck is he thinking?" Bella asked as she eyed up Emmett as he walked around the common area chatting casually to some of the other people who were attending. It was mainly freshman who didn't have fake I.D.'s, but it was a decent party. "I think the shit is about to hit the fan," Bella added as we glanced towards Rosalie who was stalking towards Emmett, her eyes filled with fury.

Trying to diffuse the situation, Bella and I both stepped forward and she cornered Rosalie before a scene could be made as I went to talk to Emmett. "What are you doing man? You are making this harder on yourself and Rosalie, you know?"

"I'm tired of her telling me what to do, Edward." Emmett looked livid as he stared while Bella and Rosalie argued in the corner. "She wouldn't let me drop the class and now it's too late. She won't talk to me in public and she tries to dress me up like a fucking geek. She tells me she wants me, but she won't let me be myself."

"Have you told her that?"

"Not in so many words."

"Don't you think you should be honest with her about everything? Tell her how you are feeling and what you are worried about?"

"Don't you think you should follow your own advice?" Emmett grinned smugly at me and I wanted to smack him upside the head. As I turned around, Bella and Rosalie were walking towards us, neither of them looking upset. Fuck, I hope they weren't upset.

"Nice costume, Emmett," Rosalie said a little too sweetly as Bella came and wrapped her arm around my waist, though the costume made it a bit difficult. "Can I talk to you in private?" Rosalie asked of Emmett, as he nodded without emotion and Bella and I watched as they walked out of the common room, heading down the hallway. They acted like two complete strangers and I knew they were either about to fight or fuck. Emmett had no other response to emotional things.

Bella and I acted completely nonchalant about the entire thing and she guided me around the main floor to visit the various rooms that Rosalie and the other RA's had set up. She was overly excited to make voodoo dolls and mine may have looked a little too much like Liam, but I didn't care. Bella's was supposed to resemble Renee and she was planning to use it whenever Renee felt the urge to embarrass her, which I figured would be frequently.

Bella suggested we go and watch Halloween, as we both had a love for the original with Jamie Lee Curtis, but it was a little difficult to sit in our costumes and I didn't exactly want to stand for the duration, so we decided to just go talk to some of other friends at the party. It was nearing midnight when we noticed that Emmett and Rosalie were still nowhere to be found. I pretended that I was getting tired, so Bella followed me upstairs to my room and we were relieved to find out that Emmett wasn't there. I texted him quickly to let him know that Bella was staying over and was shocked at how quick he responded saying he wouldn't be home. I may have done a mental fist pump at this.

"Edward, can you help me take this off?" Bella questioned as she tugged on the costume, unable to get it over her head. She looked a little silly, but I wasn't about to laugh at her considering I desperately wanted her in my bed as quickly as possible. I tossed my cell phone onto my dresser and strode towards her, eager to lift the uncomfortable costume from her. "Thanks baby. I'm gonna go freshen up." I let out a slight groan and watched as Bella grabbed her knapsack and headed into my bathroom.

I struggled for a few minutes to get my costume off, but when I was done, I crawled into bed in just a pair of boxer shorts, hoping to god they would be off soon too. I was lying on my back, staring at the ceiling when I heard my bathroom door open. When I looked over, I was shocked by what I found.

Bella was standing in the doorway with a pair of orange and black striped knee socks adorned with little pumpkins and a black lace bra and panty set. I'm pretty sure my mouth hung open and my tongue unrolled onto the mattress like a cartoon. I was surprised and aroused at the same time. "Do you like?" Bella questioned as she turned around and I growled when I saw the panties were actually a thong with a little bow on the back.

"Jesus fuck, Bella. What did I do to deserve this?" I asked as she walked closer to me, a small sashay in her step. She was oozing confidence and I was hard as nails. Fuck, she looked edible.

"I didn't know I needed a special occasion to dress up for my boyfriend," she said seductively as she reached the bed and climbed on, crawling towards me on her knees. "I thought you would appreciate it."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I appreciate it baby. You look so fucking good… not gonna lie."

Bella leaned back on her heels and lifted the sheets, finding me in just my boxers, which were strained with my arousal. She leaned forward and grazed her breasts against my thigh before Bella hitched her fingers into the waistband of my shorts and pulled them off of me, my dick eager for attention. My girl did not disappoint either.

She wrapped her little hand around the base of my cock, stroking me at a slow yet torturous pace, before opening her mouth and encasing me in her tempting warmth. It had only been a few days since Bella had gone down on me, but fuck, every time was like the first time. I used one hand to grip the sheet beneath me and the other threaded through her hair, holding onto her for dear life.

"Fuck… you look so good with my cock in your mouth, baby," I groaned a few minutes later as I felt Bella's teeth gently scrap the tender underside of my shaft. I was already on the verge of cumming, but with each fluid movement of her tongue and the suction provided by her sweet mouth, I was building to one hell of a fucking orgasm.

Bella looked up at me with hooded eyes and I throbbed painfully, seeing the look of pure lust and control in her eyes. She pulled me out and licked around my head before plunging me back inside her mouth as far as she could take me. With one little hum of appreciation I was done for, releasing in her mouth without a second thought. "Holy fucking shit. You are perfect," I stated as Bella sat back on her heels and I leaned up, kissing her gently on her supple mouth.

"I just wanted to do something nice for you, since I made you dress up like a plug all night," Bella said shyly as my fingers ghosted up her bare arm, hooking into her bra strap and pulling it down to reveal her taut breasts.

"Oh, that was most definitely nice, baby," I said as I grinned happily at her and my breathing finally calmed down. "Now, let me return the favor." Bella shook her head and I raised my eye brow curiously. She didn't want me?

"Just lay down Edward… I'm not done with you." I looked at her in disbelief, but did as she asked, albeit reluctantly. Bella then jumped off of the bed and bent at her waist, beginning to pull her panties down oh so slowly. I may have been licking my lips as I watched her gorgeous pussy come into view. "Do you like what you see baby?"

"Fuck yes!"

Bella then reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, dropping it to the floor, before she stood in front of me in just her knee socks. She casually strolled to the edge of the bed and lifted one leg onto the mattress, giving me an even better view of her. She looked so fucking wet and smelled even better, I desperately wanted to taste her. "How about now?"

"Delicious. Come here please."

Bells just shook her head again and I watched with desperation as she licked her finger and then traced it around her nipple. It hardened instantly and so did I, again. The same finger descended lower down her body and I gasped as I watched her begin to encircle her clit with it as she closed her eyes in pleasure. Bella moaned lowly and let her head fall back as she stood before me, pleasing herself. It was the worst form of torture and when I tried to move closer, Bella heard me and opened her eyes not letting me touch her, like I desperately wanted.

Since I couldn't touch, I did the next best thing… I started stroking my cock as I watched my girlfriend touch herself. I couldn't help it; I had to do something. Bella's moans and groans were killing me and all I wanted to do was bury myself inside of her and make her cum as hard as she had done to me a few minutes earlier.

Thankfully, Bella seemed to be thinking the same thing, because I felt her hands brush against my cock as she sheathed me with a condom and I felt the bed compress as Bella climbed back on, straddling me. "I need you, Edward," she panted, as my cock grazed her dripping wet pussy and I growled in anticipation. I gripped Bella's hips firmly in my hands as I lowered her onto me, both of us moaning desperately at the same time.

We were both already horny as fuck before I started fucking her, so it was just a matter of time before we came, hopefully together. Bella leaned back, her hands clutching onto my thighs as I lifted my hips into hers, fucking her as hard as I could. I used one hand to grip her tightly as the other began rubbing her clit furiously, desperate for her to cum. "Fuck Edward, you're sooo good… ungh," Bella groaned loudly as I felt her body clench around my cock, making it almost unbearable to _not_ cum.

"I love fucking you," I growled back as I pressed further into her and Bella leaned back a little more, her pert breasts in the air as she rode me like her life depended on it. A few second later, I felt her shudder around me and then she screamed out my name over and over again as she came, bringing about my second release of the night as I pumped into her a few more times before wishing I could pass out.

Bella leaned down and kissed me passionately before climbing from me and heading into the bathroom for a moment. As I heard the water running, I pulled the condom off and tossed it in the trash before climbing back into bed naked. When Bella strolled back in, she was still wearing just the socks, and nuzzled in beside me, pulling the sheets up to cover us. "I love you."

"I love you too baby, so fucking much," I said honestly as she turned to face me and nestled her head under my chin, wrapping her arms tight around me. I squeezed her once as I kissed the top of her head. "How did I ever get so lucky to have you as my girl?"

"Genetics," she said with a quiet giggle before a comfortable silence fell between us and we both fell asleep. I must have been grinning in my sleep; I was that happy.

**BPOV**

I didn't know why I was suddenly awake, but I was. My eyes just popped open and I froze, knowing that something somewhere had made this happen. It wasn't one of those moments where you wake up to get a glass of water or pee or whatever. I was wide awake and I didn't know why.

"Make it stop." Edward groaned before rolling over and falling back asleep almost instantly. It was obvious that he had heard it too then, but he wasn't awake like I was. So not fair. Yes, I was pouting.

As if he could sense my irritation, Edward wrapped a warm arm around me and pulled me close, curling my body into his and I wanted so badly to just melt back into his touch. "It's too early to be awake. Go back to sleep, beautiful." His sleepy voice made my heart full and as he nuzzled his nose into my hair and his breathing evened back off, I knew then that the love I felt for him was one of a kind. It was him then, it was him now and it would always be him. He was a part of me. Forever.

Yes, I loved him completely, to the point where I even thought his snores were cute. It was that absolute and that all encompassing. Nothing would ever feel as good as it did when I was with him and that was what I had to focus on. The rest of my life would get figured out in time. I was young, I was happy and I loved my boyfriend. That was all that mattered.

I did not, however, love the fact that I was still awake.

I thought about all the various methods that were supposed to bring about sleep…counting. _Eh._ Warm milk. _I really didn't want to get out of bed._ I tried to remember some of Renee's meditation techniques, but that made me think of Bob Ross, which made me think of Nettie, which made me start to giggle so I had to stop that one. I knew sex would absolutely work and just as I was debating whether my girlie bits could handle more action and right as I decided that yes, yes they absolutely could, I heard it again.

My phone. Vibrating on the surface of Edward's desk. It wasn't prolonged enough to be a phone call, so it probably meant that I had a text. I wasn't concerned. If it had been an emergency, whoever had sent it would have called or kept trying until they reached me or they would have called Edward too, because everybody that matters knows that we're joined at the hip. Still, I needed to go look at it or at least turn my phone off because until I did, the alert would continue.

Slowly, carefully I started to scoot out from Edward's arm because there was no need to wake him for something as trivial as that, even though it would have been much easier for him to reach over and grab my phone.

Even through my socks, the floor was still cold as I quickly tiptoed around the end of the bed and over to my phone so I could turn it off. And off course, as I unlocked it, I hit the flashlight app which blinded me and caused me to fumble with the touch screen. The next thing I knew my iTunes had been turned on and …

_You make me wanna la la _

_In the kitchen on the floor_

_I'll be a French maid_

NO! I try desperately to make it stop, but all I can see is a big green spot in front of my eyes from the flashlight app…

_Where I'll meet you at the door_

_I'm like an alley cat_

_Drink the milk up, I want more_

…and in my haste to cover the speaker at the bottom, I end up dropping and it skidded across the floor. Of course, face down so I can't even see the light that caused the problem in the first place. At least I can still hear it and as I try and follow the music…

_You make me wanna_

_You make me wanna scream_

You're damn right I wanna scream because when I finally found the thing, I could not get the fucker to turn off. I kept touching apps and buttons and volumes and FINALLY. Silence.

And then the quiet click of a bedside table lamp being turned on and I cringed. _Oops._

I turned around to see Edward trying to look sternly at me, but failing, his facial muscles twitching in an epic battle of 'hide the smirk' and his eyes twinkling in spite of his obvious exhaustion. Of course, I was still naked except for the socks, one of which had been pushed down towards my ankle and I'm sure my hair was just awesome. Before he could even open his mouth, I held up one finger to let him know he shouldn't start, shrugged, bowed my head and walked back to bed with a sheepish grin on my face.

"Ashlee Simpson? Really, Swan?"

"Turn off the light, Cullen. "

"I thought I knew you better than that." I could feel the bed start to shake as he held in his laughter while turning off the light. Fucker.

"Hey, you recognized the song…care to explain that one?" Suddenly I was forced onto my back and his body was pressed against me and his mouth was on top of mine and it was so so good…

Then my phone buzzed, again. I pushed Edward back for a minute because I was not about to have to listen to that while we went for round two.

"Who is that?" he asked, sitting up and turning the light back on again. As I glanced down at the screen I wished with every fiber of my being that he hadn't asked that question, because I'd either have to lie, which I didn't want to do…or tell him the truth, which I didn't want to do either. Rock meet hard place and either option probably meant that I would not be meeting said hard place any time soon. Lying though was definitely not a legitimate option, I'd never do that to him, so I just bit the bullet and spit it out.

"Liam, but it's just a text and I'm not even going to read it tonight. He can wait."

"He can go fuck himself …." I heard Edward grumble but I chose not to go there.

"Just forget about him," I said as I put my phone back down and started to crawl up his body like the seductress that I am. _Insert giggles here._ "I have." As I moved in for the kill, the fucking phone went off again. That's it. Emergency contacts or not, that fucker was getting turned off. However, it wasn't a text this time, it was a legit call.

"I want to answer it," Edward said as he reached for the phone, but there was no way that was going to go well, so I moved it out of his reach.

"Just let me handle it Edward and I'll turn it off. If he calls back, I'll let you talk to him tomorrow. _After_ I make you forget why you're mad."

I said a quick prayer that whatever Liam was calling about, it was a justifiable reason, but I was pretty sure he wasn't calling about notes from the class he missed last week. There were very few situations that led to calls after one in the morning - drunk dialing and real problems. Honestly though, I didn't wish for either one. Best case scenario, he was dialing accidentally and didn't even realize it. I may have had that happen to me once or twice, so it was possible. Right?

"Liam?" Even though I knew exactly who it was on the phone, I want to at least try and impress upon him that I was sleepy and confused because it was late. I hoped that he'd get the hint and just go away.

"Bella…thank god. I am so sorry, but I couldn't think of anybody else to call. I feel really bad for waking you up but I wouldn't have called unless it was an emergency. I hope I didn't wake your roommate…"

"I'm at Edwards, Liam. What's going on?" I was actually getting worried. He was way too apologetic and he seemed a little frantic.

"Well, I actually got in a fight with the guys at the frat house and they locked me out and I can't get to my keys so I can drive myself back to my apartment, not that I could get inside without them anyway. I really, really hate to bother you, but do you think you can come get me and take me home. You're the only person left I could call."

"Tell him no," I heard Edward whisper from behind me. I didn't realize he had moved so close or that the volume was up so high on my phone that he could hear. Yeah, I should probably turn that down, so I did. "Tell him no, Bella."

Um…was he trying to tell me what to do? I mean, I was going to try and find another way for Liam to get home because I didn't WANT to help him out, but really Edward? Are we going to go down this road again?

"Liam, can't you just call a cab? If you need me to call one for you, I can."

"Bella, tell him." I glared at Edward and shook my head.

"I don't have any money. Believe me, I thought of that already. I'm stranded. I mean, I guess I could go sleep on one of the couches in the Student Center, but I may have had a couple of beers and you know how they're cracking down…I really don't want to have to go to Alc. Ed. classes."

"Are you drunk, Liam?" I questioned, because that changed everything. I couldn't live with myself if I ignored him and something happened to him because I was being selfish. He didn't answer; I just heard breathing on the other end. "Liam…I'm going to hang up now and go up to my room and get dressed." Ugh, did I just admit that to him? "I'll call you back when I'm on my way and you can tell me where to pick you up. Okay?"

"Okay Bella. Thanks, and tell Edward I'm sorry. Really. I know he has to be pissed. I would be. I just couldn't think of another option." I hung up and turned to see Edward going over to his dresser and pulling out a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

"Um, what are you doing?" There was absolutely no way he was coming with me. No way.

"Bella…how are you going to go get him? You don't have a car." Shit, I hadn't thought of that.

"Well…I probably should have asked you first, but can I borrow yours, please? Look Edward, I'm just going to go get him and take him home and I'll be back in twenty minutes. You would do it for Emmett."

"Don't you even TRY and compare you and Liam", he looked like he was going to throw up at the concept, "to me and Emmett. You're being fucking ridiculous. He's totally playing you right now and I wish you would just open your eyes and see it. God, how can you be so stu…blind?"

And that was my cue to get out and give us some space.

"Edward, you need to stay here. I'll go get Siobhan or Rosalie or somebody to drive me or let me borrow their car or something. You're mad, which I get. I'm mad and I don't think you understand. Right now, if we both get in a car, one of us is going to say something that will make things worse. Let me get him home and I'll be back and we can start over. Okay?"

"Take the fucking car. It's in the usual spot." He threw the keys from his dresser over to the bed and stormed into the bathroom, which I heard lock behind him. Fighting back tears, I grabbed the keys and walked out of his dorm room, pulling the door almost closed, but not quite. I leaned up against the bathroom door where I could hear the shower running and rested my forehead against it before whispering 'I love you'.

I decided that I would take Liam back to his apartment, come back and we would start over. We'd get through it. We loved each other. We _love_ each other. Rough patches were an expected part of growing as a couple. What I did not expect was to find Liam sitting outside my room when I got to the sixth floor.

"Oh my God. How did you get in here?"

He looked sheepishly at me before answering. "I waited around outside until somebody came out and then I grabbed the door before it closed?" He looked at me and gave a sympathetic grin.

"Please tell me you didn't wake Siobhan up." Lord knows, Edward was already pissed. I didn't want Siobhan on my case tonight too. I'd rather deal with her in the morning.

"Well, actually she was the one that left. I'm pretty sure she's not coming back tonight either…she had a bag with her and looked pretty chummy with the guy she was with…sooooo…"

"Sooooo?"

"What if I just crashed here tonight?"

Oh hell to the fuck no. No. No no no no no. And just as I started to say that, I had a thought. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. He could sleep in my room and I could get back to Edward before he got out of the shower. Siobhan was gone. I could just leave her a message since it was obvious she wasn't sleeping. Sure I'd have to burn my sheets, but that was no big deal. I looked around really fast to make sure nobody was around and I pulled Liam into my room before we could get caught.

"Look…here's the deal. You sleep in your clothes and you leave first thing in the morning. Don't call me. Don't come down to Edward's room. Don't text me. I have A LOT of explaining to do and even though I'm going back down there now, he's not going to be happy that you're here. At all. Don't make me regret helping you out." God I hoped this didn't come back and bite me on the ass.

"Bella, I feel horrible. I honestly had no idea what to do next. No keys, no wallet, no car…that doesn't leave me with many options. I would have done anything else if I thought there was another viable solution. I swear."

"Whatever, Liam. You're my friend and I'm helping you out, that's it. We'll talk about it in class." I set my alarm clock for 7, figuring it was late enough to not be cruel, but early enough to insure that he was gone before Siobhan got back…or before I was ready to come back.

I closed the door behind me and walked back down to the third floor. The bathroom door was open and I could feel the steam still pouring out. I took a couple of deep breaths knowing I was about to walk into the lion's den, but I was hoping that my quick return would just prove to Edward that I was always going to choose him over Liam, over anybody. I twisted the knob and found it locked, so I used his key to open the door.

His bed was empty and he was nowhere to be found.


	23. Bleeding

**A/N at the end.**

**We don't own Twilight, but CPW is currently watching Cake Boss and craving icing right now.**

**BPOV**

Things were not going well. In fact, I don't think I'd ever felt so miserable in my entire life. Not even when I was in London because then, while I had missed Edward, at least I knew I would see him again. Talk to him again. Be with him again. Lately, I felt like every conversation had the chance to be our last.

After finding Edward's room empty, I did the only thing that made sense to me - I crawled into his bed and waited for him to come back. I knew he was mad and I understood that – which is why I felt it was so important that I be there waiting for him when he got back. So we could finally hash it all out - I fought exhaustion, both emotional and physical, with everything I had, until I succumbed to the lateness of the hour and fell asleep. When the sunlight streaming through the window woke me up, I did not expect to be alone, but I was. Edward still hadn't come home.

I decided to wait for him until 7:30, figuring that would give Liam ample time to get out of my room because he was absolutely the last person on the face of the earth I wanted to see right now. In fact, at that point if I never saw him again I'd be fine with it, if only to make Edward happy. At 8:00 I was still waiting, but when he still wasn't back by 8:45, I read his message loud and clear. He wasn't home because he didn't want to see me.

I gathered my things and left Edward a quick note, telling him that I loved him and that I was sorry and that I loved him and to call me when he got home and that I loved him. I wasn't completely sure it was legible or if it even made any sense, but I really couldn't think straight. I needed him and he was gone. It took every ounce of strength I had to leave that room, but if he didn't want to be near me I wasn't going to make the situation worse by forcing him to talk to me when he wasn't ready. That couldn't end well. As it was, last night was filled with words and tones that neither one of us meant…at least, I didn't.

As I closed the door behind me, I felt my hands shaking and it was so hard to breathe. For the first time in my life, I didn't know what Edward was feeling or thinking, he was like a stranger to me. I could handle it when he was mad because then I knew how he felt. The silence, the not knowing what was going though his head – THAT was what was killing me.

When I got up to my room the tears started to flow. I guessed that in the back of my mind I had hoped that he would be sitting on the floor waiting for me, like he had when I had been out with Nettie and like I had waited for him last night. There was no message on the white board on my door, no texts and no emails when I checked my laptop. Not that I really expected anything, but in the back of my mind I guess I had held out a smidgen of hope that he would have been there.

I needed to go for a run, to clear my head, to put myself in his shoes and maybe figure out where he might be. Regardless of everything, I just wanted to know that he was okay. I've known where he was every day and every night for as long as we've known each other. I threw my hair in a ponytail and grabbed my iPod, putting my ECLips playlist on shuffle and hit the road. I ran past the HUB and the libraries. I ran past the buildings where he met with his project team and where he had most of his classes. I ran until my feet, head and heart hurt, but it was so good. I felt like the more I hurt, the more I suffered, that maybe just maybe…hell, I didn't know what I hoped. I just know that the physical discomfort helped distract me from the emptiness I felt inside.

When I got back to my dorm, I stopped and debated whether or not to go see if he was home yet but I didn't have go far. He was standing by the mailboxes and when he saw me, he just looked so…sad. I wanted to go wrap myself around him and comfort him, comfort us. I wanted to curl up in a little ball in his lap and have him tell me that everything was going to be okay.

"Hi," I whispered, scared that if I spoke any louder he'd run again.

"Hi."

"I waited for you in your room, but you never came home." I felt my legs start to shake and I started to reach for him for support, but I stopped myself when I realized that maybe he wouldn't want me to lean on him.

"I know. I saw your note, but even before that though, I knew you had been there." He wouldn't look at me directly and his eyes let me know that he was somewhere else. We stood there for a few minutes, neither one of us speaking almost like we were afraid. There was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to apologize for not letting him come with me to pick up Liam. I wanted him to apologize for yelling at me and treating me like a child. I wanted to tell him that I was a big girl and completely capable of taking care of myself and I wanted him to complain about how stubborn I was. I did not want this unease, I wanted fire.

"I was scared when you didn't come home."

"I was too."

"Edward, can we-"

He interrupted me. "Bella, I realize that we need to talk about this, but I can't do it now. Seeing you pull Liam into your room last night killed me. And…"

"But nothing happened! He…"

"Let me finish." He took a couple of breaths before continuing, "and even though I know nothing happened and inside I know nothing ever will, I keep playing that scene over and over in my head. That was all I saw last night and I can't go through that again. I need to get some sleep and just…I just need to think things through."

"Edward, nothing absolutely nothing hap…"

"Bella I know. But you have to understand that for seven, eight… God for so many hours I thought that it did. I can't forget it just like that. Do you have any idea what that did to me? Just give me until later this afternoon."

I stopped breathing when he leaned into me, his body so tired and he just looked so defeated. "I just need a couple of hours. Go shower, get some rest…I know you didn't sleep last night. You look exhausted. I'll call you in a little while okay? I love you."

My eyes filled up with tears, relieved that he still loved me and terrified of what was happening. "I love you too." I watched the man I love walk upstairs, his shoulders slumped, his hair a disaster, both our hearts hurting. But at least I knew that we both wanted to fix this, fix us. He did want to fix us, right?

Three days later we were still not right. I knew things were off since Edward didn't contact me on Saturday afternoon like he said he would. Our tension and silence wasn't fooling anybody. Hell, I barely saw him for three days and the conversation at the mailbox was the longest we'd had. Still, I held firmly to the hope that neither of us was willing to give up. It would take time and it would take effort, but we could work it out. We had to.

On Tuesday, my last class of the day ended early – well, I ended it early. I couldn't focus and I had to get out of there. Quietly I packed up my things and snuck out the door, cringing when I heard the professor stop talking. God, I was becoming quite the pro when it came down to disappointing people…maybe I should forget journalism and go into politics. Rolling my eyes at my own bad joke, I saw Liam coming my way. Shit.

"Bella."

I slowly opened my eyes to see him standing there with blood stains on his shirt and holding some of those brown generic paper towels to what was obviously a broken nose. He didn't even have to tell me what happened or who did it. He wouldn't have approached me if it hadn't been Edward.

"Jesus, Liam. Why... why did you have to push? You KNEW it wouldn't go well and you did it anyway. What the fuck is it with people trying to insert themselves into my life where they don't belong? FUCK!" I started walking around in circles, not really sure what I was doing or where I was going. Why was this so fucking hard? I was flailing my arms around and I just wanted to be with Edward and make it all better. I wanted to sit down and get through our miscommunication. I wanted my best friend and other half back.

"Wait, I was just trying to help, Bella. You're not the same as you were and I was just trying to make him see what he was doing to you."

"But don't you get it. You're doing the exact same thing. God, what is it with you two? Why can't both of you just trust me and believe that I know what is best for me? Should he have hit you, absolutely not, but honestly, I'm not surprised it happened. Go home Liam. Go home, ice your face and just stay away from Edward. Do it for me."

I sighed and left him standing there. I was furious with him for interfering, I was furious with Edward for going that far to have punched Liam and I was furious with me for letting them get to me. I just wanted to go somewhere and get fetal, but that was not an option. Completely defeated, I wandered around campus for the rest of the hour. My eyes always seemed to gravitate towards couples as they walked around, holding hands, canoodling and leaning on each other for support. Things shouldn't be this difficult for us. Edward and I fit together like peanut butter and jelly, like Abbott and Costello, like other things that go together that I couldn't think of because I was to upset. It was not supposed to feel like this, because honestly, for the past few days, I've felt like I was missing a part of me.

And it was going to stop. Today.

I couldn't be without him. I didn't want to be the girl that gave up all her friends and her desires and her dreams to be with the one she loved, but if it came down to it, I would. Okay, so maybe I wouldn't go that far because that was a little twisted, but I'd give up Liam for Edward. That was a no-brainer. Sure, it stung a little that he was pushing me so hard about it without giving any thought at all to how his lack of trust made me feel, but you know what, I'd do anything for him. I was at that point.

What we needed was a day just to cuddle and hang out, remember why we fell in love with each other in the first place, like Nettie suggested. Sure exams were starting to creep up, but I felt pretty confident that I could persuade Edward to skip the rest of his classes for the day. Maybe we could just get in his car and drive until we found a cute little place to spend the night. Hell, I'd even spend the night in a tent with him, but it was November and it was getting a bit too cold for me. Though there was always the plus side of snuggling up in a sleeping bag with only our body heat for warmth…yeah…that. _ Focus, Bella._ We needed to talk about things, we needed to connect and we needed to just be us. Annnnd if there was some sexy times later, well I wouldn't protest, but that wasn't what my motivation was. I wanted us fixed.

I checked my phone and saw that I had about twenty minutes before classes let out, so I decided to stop and get some coffees for us. Nothing says I love you like caffeine, right? So with two Styrofoam cups in hand, and an espresso brownie for later, yeah, later… I started walking across campus to Raitt Hall, hoping to intercept Edward before he went came out of the building.

I stood and leaned against the cold stone side of the building, near the steps so there was no possible way I could miss him. I waited while all the students currently inside the building came out and while the students arriving for their next class went inside, but I didn't see him anywhere. Maybe I had his schedule wrong? I was pretty sure that I didn't though. Surely, if he was sick he would have let me know, I mean I know things are weird, but he'd still tell me, or Emmett would have at least, or maybe Rosalie would.

Just as I was about to head back to his dorm room to check on him, I heard a giggle and his voice come from the double doors of Raitt Hall. Well now, this was interesting. Edward was walking out of the building with Claire and suddenly I wasn't so defeated. I was relieved that he wasn't sick and while I'll freely admit to not liking that girls' hand on his arm, I was more curious to see how this played out. I trusted Edward, of that I was certain, but the irony of this situation was just too delicious for me to pass up.

I watched for another minute or two as they approached, Claire's laugh ringing through the now almost empty campus. Edward looked at her, watching her the whole time she talked and she talked nonstop. Good lord, I wasn't even over there and it was giving me a headache. Finally, I couldn't help myself and decided it was time to make my presence know. Showtime.

"Hey guys," I walked briskly over to them, Edward jerking his head towards me looking surprised.

"Bella?" I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes, eyes that still looked a little too tired, a little sad.

"Hi Bella," Claire said, her smile just a little too perfect to be genuine. _Oh honey, it's on. Don't even pretend that I don't know exactly what you're doing. But that's just fine. You don't concern me right now._

"Edward, I was getting worried. I was about to head back to your room to see if you were ok."

"Actually Bella, that's my fault. I was walking out of class and the strap on my bag broke and Edward saw me struggling to carry everything and he offered to help me. He's my hero." _That's right, keep rubbing his arm._ It was all I could do to not pick up her hand and move it, but I wanted to see how Edward handled it.

"Oh really?" I looked up at Edward because really, this couldn't have gotten much better if I had scripted it myself. "Well Claire, you sure are lucky that Edward was able to help you when you needed him. Not everybody is as fortunate to have a friend that will do that for them, even if it means being a sacrifice on their part." _That's right, I'm going there._ I could see the muscles in Edward's face tighten and I could almost hear his jaw clench but I wasn't about to back down, not yet. Maybe now that the shoe was on the other foot he would get it.

Did I like Claire hanging on Edward…fuck no. But did I mind him helping her out when she needed it, not a bit. Am I thrilled with the fact that she can't stop touching him? Nope. But am I going to make him stop talking to her? That's not my place. If he chooses to never speak to her again, I'll dance around the dorm naked, but I'd never ask him to do it. That's just a little bit too co-dependent for me.

"Edward, I had hoped that maybe you wanted to go sit somewhere and, you know what…nevermind. You just find me when you're heroic duties are over, kay? Claire, it was good to see you again." I started to walk away when Edward stopped me.

I wasn't sure were this was coming from. I didn't want to come across all bitchy and combative like this, but I was pissed. Why did he think it was okay for him to help Claire, when he had such a problem with me helping Liam? And he can't say that this was to prove a point, that it was all just a ploy to make me see what it felt like - he didn't know I was going to be here this afternoon.

"Bella, wait. Let me get her inside the bookstore and I'll come back out and we can talk." Oh great, he was talking through his teeth. This will be fun.

"Do you think that's such a good idea, Edward? I mean, how will Claire be able to get home? Or do you not care if she has to wait around outside for somebody else to find her and help her. Claire? Do you have his phone number so you can call him… here, let me get that for you."

"Um, well actually Bella," she looked nervously between Edward and me. Holy shit, I think she DOES have two brain cells to rub together. "Yeah, um, I think I can probably get to the bookstore from here and then I'll just take the bus back to the sorority house." She started to pick up her bag and it ripped more, causing more of her stuff to tumble out on the ground. I watched as Edward turned and chased after some papers that had started to scramble with the slight breeze, and the sight of him with his back to me on his knees as he reached for things just out of his reach tore at my heart. This anger we felt, this distance, it wasn't us.

I couldn't stay and watch it anymore. My emotions were all over the place, I was angry and hurt and jealous. I was confused and stressed and disappointed. Most of all, I was frustrated that even when I felt all these things, the love I felt for him overrode it all. It would be so much easier if I didn't.

I sat the coffee I had for him next to his stuff and started to walk away, not really surprised when I felt his hand grab me around the arm and spinning me around. What did surprise me was the anger in his eyes. I don't ever think I had seen it as clearly as I was seeing it right now. However, if he thought I was just going to let him continue as the poor victimized boyfriend, well he…well, just no.

**EPOV**

Things between us were strained. Fuck, strained was probably an understatement since Bella and I hadn't managed to say more than five words to each other in the past few days, but I didn't care. After seeing her take Liam into her room after she insisted to me that she didn't need my help and was simply going to go give him a drive home, led me to believe there was more going on than I had thought.

Was she cheating on me? That was highly improbable, but why the hell would she let him into her room? Where was Siobhan in all this mess, surely she wouldn't have let Bella bring Liam into the room, right? These were just a few of the questions that had overwhelmed me for the past couple of days. Bella had tried to talk to me about everything, but after what I had seen that night, I wasn't ready to talk to her.

_I stood in the bathroom, the hot water pouring from the showerhead as I pressed my hand firmly against the shower wall. I shouldn't have been in the bathroom about to shower while Bella was going after Liam. She was pissed that I told her not to go, as though I was in control of her or something, so I decided to go apologize to her and go with her to get Liam instead of acting like a complete fucking tool._

_I pulled on a pair of jeans and my UW hoodie and walked out of my room, heading up the stairwell to the sixth floor to find Bella. I was certain it would only take her a few minutes to get changed and I knew I had some time left. However, when I opened the door to her floor, I saw Bella leading Liam into her bedroom, while darting her eyes around nervously as though she didn't want to be caught._

_I closed the stairwell door and slumped down onto the floor, clutching my hair in my hands and tugging so hard it hurt. Of course, it didn't hurt as much as my shattered heart at that moment. I couldn't help all the questions and concerns that fell from my mouth as I sat in the dimly lit stairwell, pulling my legs up to my chest. _

"_What the fuck is she doing?"_

"_Why the fuck would she do this to me? To us?"_

"_Did she really want to throw away a nineteen year friendship, and our love, for this asshole?"_

_My anger and frustration grew the longer I sat alone in the stairwell. When I heard voices of other students coming up from the fourth floor, I immediately ran up to the seventh floor to avoid them and then took the elevator down to the lobby. The party that had been in full swing a mere hour ago had now dispersed and you would never have known anything had happened in the various rooms, they were spotless._

_I passed the security desk by the front door and headed outside in to the cool night air. I looked at the parking lot and noticed my car was still in the assigned spot, so Bella definitely hadn't gone anywhere after all. If she had taken Liam home, the car would be gone. No, they were definitely upstairs in her room, doing god only knows what, and I was the dumbass that should have been waiting for her patiently back in my room._

_As I began to walk slowly around campus, my mind was in overdrive as I wondered how long Bella had been playing me? Had she been with Liam while they were in Europe and came home feeling stifled in our relationship and unable to leave me? Is this why she wouldn't cut ties with Liam… because she was dating him too, I wondered to myself as I sat down on a freezing cold bench and rested my head in my hands._

"_How fucking blind could I be?" I called out to no one, since the quad was empty and desolate. "I am a huge fucking idiot," I cursed out into the night as I threw my head back and wished the earth would just open up and swallow me whole. That was the only way I could see the ache in my heart dissipating any time soon._

_For the next few hours, I sat on the bench, my arms wrapped around myself as I tried to keep myself together and warm. Several drunken students walked by in their random Halloween costumes on the way back to the dorms and a few asked me if I was lost, but I just kept silent and they quickly passed, complaining about how cold it was. The more I sat on the bench, the less I thought about how cold it was. All I could think about was them and what, if anything, they were doing._

_I knew that what had transpired between Bella and me was going to come back and bite me in the ass. I hadn't given her enough freedom. I hadn't been more encouraging about her time away in Europe. I hadn't tried hard enough to be friends with Liam. She was growing and I was hindering her. I could already hear all those accusations and so much more coming from her lips as we argued, because I was sure a fight was inevitable. I had tried with Liam, but he was a manipulative fucker and I couldn't help the animosity that grew between us. I also couldn't help the way I felt about her and the entire situation. I felt like she was being snowed by him, never quite seeing the real Liam, only what he ever wanted to show her. _

_I couldn't handle it anymore and gripped the edge of the bench, my fingers growing numb, if that was even possible, on contact. Bella and I were two passionate people who apparently wanted different things out of our relationship. I only ever wanted her happiness and she wanted… fuck, I didn't know what she wanted these days, but if I wasn't making her happy, I resigned myself to let her go._

_I pulled out my cell phone at just after five in the morning and let out a sigh, deciding that I should get moving from my spot and stood up to walk towards the HUB where I knew the coffee shops were getting ready to open. I had a few dollars in my pockets, so I grabbed myself a fresh cup of coffee and sat on a club chair in the HUB, bringing warmth back to my body. I had downed three cups of coffee when I noticed more people milling around, getting their coffees and breakfasts. I looked around and noticed several cheerful couples and decided I needed to get out. I couldn't handle happiness or anything resembling love at that moment. It was all too much._

_I sprinted out of the HUB, my body aching yet full of energy, as I headed back to the dorms. I passed the parking lot and immediately slowed, contemplating driving back home for the weekend. I just needed to get away from everything. However, I quickly realized that going home wouldn't help matters. At home I would be bombarded by questions from my mother and father, and surely Alice would be concerned as to why I was there. My mother would then get Renee on the phone and they would attempt to smooth everything out, without having heard the entire story. _

_I couldn't tell them that after nineteen years of friendship, Bella and I had grown apart, mere weeks after we started a relationship. Not only would I come off as a complete failure, but I knew my mother would blame herself for pushing so tirelessly for Bella and me to be together, only to literally have it back fire. I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in my mother's face when I told her how my relationship with Bella was turning to shit, so no… going to Forks was definitely not an option._

_Instead, I headed back to my dorm room, my feet literally dragging me the entire way. I was cold, tired and felt emotionally shattered. All I wanted to do was lie down in my bed and pretend the world and my troubles didn't exist. When I stepped into my room, I was relieved that Emmett wasn't there. I toed off my shoes and pulled my hoodie off over my head, tossing it to the side as I went to climb into bed. I found the bed to be slightly warm, which was odd, but not as weird as the small note on my pillow. I read it with trembling hands._

_Edward – I stayed all night, you didn't show up. I love you so much it hurts to be away from you. I hope you are safe and that we can talk so I can make you understand. I love you, no one else. There's never been anyone else. Please call me or come find me when you read this. I need to talk to you. I need you. I love you._

_-B_

_I crumpled up the note, sadness and despair coursing through my veins as I lay down and curled into my pillow that smelled exactly like her. I pulled it to my face, breathing in her scent, letting out a groan of frustration and disappointment in my wake. I couldn't bring myself to pull away from it, choosing instead to fall asleep as my thoughts remained dark and depressing. I clung to a little scrap of hope as I realized her note said she had slept here in my bed last night. _

_Sadly, that didn't explain anything. I didn't know what time she came to my room, it could have been hours after I left. After she was finished with Liam. I shudder crashed through my body as I tossed the pillow across the room and pulled the blankets up over my head, shutting out the world._

_Later that morning, after being awoken unceremoniously by Emmett following only 2 hours of sleep, I made my way down to the main floor, taking the stairs in an effort to avoid people, to check mail. I hadn't done it at all the previous week, choosing instead to focus on my homework and spending time with Bella, because I knew we had been growing apart, albeit reluctantly._

_Of course, because the fates were against me, as I closed my mail slot door and locked it up, I noticed Bella coming in the building. I wanted desperately to turn and run, unwilling to talk to her yet, but she cornered me before I had a chance. She looked as bad as I felt. She wanted to talk and I didn't. She was literally begging me with her sad eyes to hear her out, but I wasn't able to. It took all of my resolve to not run from her while she talked to me then. I felt like shit because I couldn't hear her out, but I wasn't ready. I wasn't sure what I was going to hear her say to me… perhaps that she wanted Liam now, or perhaps that she had grown since coming to college and I hadn't, so she thought we should break up or something equally horrible._

_I promised her that we would talk about it later, and even though I promised her later that day, I wasn't actually sure it would be that soon. We both needed rest and time apart. I reassured her that I loved her, my voice cracking as I said the words because they hurt more than I ever thought was possible. When I finally walked up the stairs, my body feeling tired and my heart feeling beaten and broken, I couldn't bring myself to turn back and see her. It would kill me._

That afternoon I slept for almost 8 hours straight, thankful that Emmett was at the library working on a research project for class. When I woke up, there were no messages on my cell phone and it was already dark out. I didn't call Bella. I didn't call her the next day either, choosing instead to hole myself up in the library to work on a project for class until almost ten that Sunday night. When I got back into the room Emmett let me know that Bella had visited several times and told me I had left my cell phone behind. Of course I didn't tell him that I had done it on purpose.

On Tuesday, after successfully avoiding Bella on Monday, I headed across the quad to get to my 2 o'clock history of film class. As I walked to my building I passed Liam, who looked smug as hell when he saw me. I wasn't going to say anything until I heard him mumble something under his breath about Bella.

"What did you say, asshole?" I questioned angrily as I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around, grasping his forearm tightly to make him face me.

"I said nothing, Edward. As per usual you are jumping to conclusions," Liam said with a cock eyed grin that made me want to beat him to a bloody pulp. Fucking son of a bitch.

"I'm jumping to conclusions? Are you going to stand there and pretend you aren't trying to steal my girlfriend from right under my nose, you fucking prick?"

"Well, after the way you have been reacting, I think it's just a matter of days until she dumps your pansy ass and comes looking for someone a little more suitable for her," he said with a wink of his eye. "Someone who can satisfy her every need."

I didn't even think about it. He was being arrogant and callous. Didn't he realize what he was doing to us? I pulled my arm back, balled my fist and punched the asshole right in the nose.

"Jesus fuck, Edward," he shouted out as a small group of students gathered around us. I didn't even give a shit that we had an audience as I then cold cocked him in the jaw and his gut, one punch landing right after the other. I guess I had learned a few things playing video games with Emmett over the years. Liam bent over at the waist his hand clutching his now bloody nose as he repeatedly began to curse at me. I was shocked when I saw Claire come up and offer me a gentle smile, as though she didn't give a shit that I was just beating Liam up in the middle of the quad.

"If you don't hurry, you'll be late for class," she said simply as I nodded my head and adjusted the hold on my bag before squaring my shoulders and looking at Liam one more time.

"Stay the fuck away from Bella. She's too good for you, asshole." I turned on my heel and walked quickly towards Raitt Hall, ducking into the lecture hall with a few minutes to spare before class began.

"You know, if you need to talk to someone, my momma always said I was a good listener," Claire offered sweetly as she looked down at my right hand that I was clutching tightly. It may have hurt a hell of a lot more than I was letting on, but I didn't care. It felt really fucking good to punch that ass, and Emmett would be pissed he missed it. I thanked Claire and contemplated telling her about what was going on between Bella and I. Surely an objective third party would be a good thing, right? Unfortunately, before I could talk, Professor Shea came into the class and began immediately talking about Orson Welles and RKO Pictures.

When class was over, my hand was feeling a bit better, but I was still angry as hell. I was stewing with my worries, thoughts and frustration and I had no outlet, though punching Liam had helped a bit. I stood from my seat and was about to leave when I heard a loud commotion beside me.

"Stupid fucking Target bag," Claire cursed as I looked to see the strap on her backpack had broken and all her books were scattered in the aisle. The other students ignored her mess and climbed over her as I could see her begin to get emotional. It wasn't anything major, but I bent down to help her, and she looked so happy I couldn't help the small smile that crept on my face. I hadn't smiled in four long days. "I meant to go get a new bag this weekend, but it was one thing after another. My mother called to tell me about my younger sisters dance recital and then that took over an hour. Between studying, reports, tests and trying to have a social life, I never made it to Target." Claire out a small sigh and I noticed her books were too much for her small bag and she was definitely going to have trouble carrying everything.

"Come on, this was my last class for the day. We can head over the bookstore and you can overpay for one of those North Face bags everyone has," I said cheerfully, trying to make it seem like less of a catastrophe. Claire wiped at her cheek with the back of her hand, pushing away the tears as I held her three heaviest textbooks and she took the smaller ones.

When we stepped out of Raitt Hall, the sun was surprisingly warm and Claire asked me if I wanted to go grab a coffee after helping her get a new bag… her treat. Of course she was rambling and talking a little too fast as she suggested we could be a sounding board to each other regarding our problems and though I wanted to say yes, but I never got the chance. Bella was standing in front of the building, looking sad at first and then angry.

After some tense greetings, Bella looked at me with a hint of disappointment. "Edward, I was getting worried. I was about to head back to your room to see if you were ok," Bella said softly, her voice cracking slightly, reminding me that we hadn't really talked in three days.

"Actually Bella, that's my fault. I was walking out of class and the strap on my bag broke and Edward saw me struggling to carry everything and he offered to help me. He's my hero," Claire announced politely, trying to ease the tension that was intense between the three of us. Claire was rubbing my arm in a rather unexpected gesture and I began to feel uncomfortable.

"Oh really? Well Claire, you sure are lucky that Edward was able to help you when you needed him. Not everybody is as fortunate to have a friend that will do that for them, even if it means being a sacrifice on their part." Bella narrowed her eyes at me and I could tell she was no longer discussing the Claire situation. She was trying to show how the situation with Claire and hers with Liam from Friday night were the same. However, I wouldn't have left Bella's bed in the middle of the night to help Claire. This is where we differed.

"Edward, I had hoped that maybe you wanted to go sit somewhere and, you know what…nevermind. You just find me when you're heroic duties are over, kay? Claire, it was good to see you again." Bella turned to leave and I wasn't about to let her go thinking something was happening between Claire and I, because it wasn't. I grabbed her arm and she turned back to look at me, her eyes already rimmed with red as looked like she was about to cry.

"Bella, wait. Let me get her inside the bookstore and I'll come back out and we can talk."

"Do you think that's such a good idea, Edward? I mean, how will Claire be able to get home, or do you not care if she has to wait around outside for somebody else to find her and help her. Claire? Do you have his phone number so you can call him? Here, let me get that for you."

"Um, well actually Bella…yeah, um, I think I can probably get to the bookstore from here and then I'll just take the bus back to the sorority house." I felt horrible for Claire as she started to pick up her bag and it ripped even more than before, this time it was part of the bag, not just the strap. Some of her belongings fell to the ground and I chased after some of her notes that had begun to blow away with the breeze. When I looked up though, Bella looked livid.

She set down the coffee she had brought me and began to walk away, but I couldn't let it happen. We had to talk, so I grabbed her arm and spun her around. I was angry now that she could stand here and belittle someone as I tried to help them, and that she couldn't be bothered to stay for me.

"Uh… Edward, thanks for your help," said Claire anxiously as she began pulling the textbooks that I was holding from my arms. "It's not far to the bookstore, and I can grab that new bag on my own." I nodded my head and she whispered a quick good luck to me as Bella pulled her arm from my grasp and we watched as Claire left, stumbling over herself and dropping more of her books along the way.

"What the ever living fuck was that shit you pulled back there?"

"If you want to go help her, you should go," Bella said acerbically as I looked at her in shock. What the hell was she doing?

"Claire said she would be fine, so I'm sure she will. Anyways, if I left you would be even more angry and bitter with me than you are now," I stated as my shoved my hands in my pockets and looked at her head on. If she wanted to talk, we were going to talk. "Claire thinks you're completely nuts you know. She already knows you don't like her because she hit on me earlier in the semester and you and I both know that she poses absolutely no threat to you. But that completely saccharine performance over there… Jesus, Bella. Take your issues out on me, I'm used to it, but leave her alone."

"Excuse me? My issues? I'm not the one telling you who to be friends with. I'm not the one asking you to forget something just because I wasn't a part of it. I'm not the one who makes their girlfriend feel guilty for every moment she spends doing something else. I don't think I'm the one with issues."

"I've never told you who to be friends with. You're deciding that all on your own…all I'm asking you to do is keep your eyes open, but you refuse to see what's right in front of you."

"Oh. My. God. This is so much more than just about Liam and you know it. We've gone over this eighteen kazillion times. I feel nothing for Liam. Nothing, zilch, nada. I know you thought I fooled around with him the other night…but you also should know, and trust, that I didn't and things still aren't right between us. This isn't about him anymore. If Liam fell off the face of the planet tomorrow, it would be something else. All my life I've done what everybody told me to do, but I was always able to just 'be' with you. I can't figure out what you want for me. You want me to be bolder, but you want me to stay the same. You encourage me and you hold me back. I was all prepared to tell you that I was willing to cut Liam out of my life for good, that I'd do it for us. But all of a sudden I don't think that would be enough for you."

All of a sudden the Styrofoam cup that Bella had been holding cracked open and scorching hot coffee began to cover her hands. "Hey, at least now it's not just my heart that hurts." I gasped in surprised, but Bella fished some Kleenex out of her backpack and tried to clean her hands after throwing away the cup, claiming that her hands felt fine. However, she and her hands looked anything but fine. To deflect attention from her burning hands, Bella began talking again. "I saw Liam."

"How does he look?"

"Like he has a broken nose."

"Good. Fucking punk deserved it," I spit out angrily as Bella looked at me with shock in her eyes. "He's doing all of this on purpose, Bella. Trying to get in between us so that he can have you for himself. I've been telling you this since the first day we saw Liam on campus. You can claim that our troubles have nothing to do with Liam, but do you honestly think that is the case? If Liam hadn't come back into your life, we would be just fucking fine. He wants you and you are just too damn blind to see it."

"Fuck you, Edward."

"I've been fucked enough lately, thanks," I replied furiously, unable to hold back my frustration anymore. After three days of over thinking everything that had happened in my relationship with Bella since she got back from Europe, I couldn't help the things that I said. I knew I would regret them eventually, but I couldn't find it in me to care. "Did you sleep with him? When you brought him into your room after being in _my_ bed… did you let him fuck you?"

"How dare you even ask me that?" Bella screamed at me as her entire body radiated fury. "I've never touched anyone but you, but I'm starting to think that was a big mistake. The love of my life would trust me, not act like some jealous dick or treat me like I didn't know what was best for me. He would also never accuse me of sleeping with someone else. The thought alone makes me sick."

"I clearly had a reason to be jealous though, Bella. Don't you see it? You picked him over me."

"You didn't give me a choice." I raised my hands up in anger as some students walked by and saw us fighting, whispering to each other as they passed. I didn't give a shit if we were making a scene. This was the most honest we had been with each other in a long time. "You didn't ask me not to go help Liam, you told me, Edward. Do you know how to feels to be ordered to do something? I'm not a fucking child." I wanted to say something in response, something to defend what I had said that night, but Bella didn't give me a chance.

"You don't realize that this isn't about Liam or Claire or anyone else for that matter. This is about you and how you don't trust me. You don't believe that I can choose my own friends, or who can be in my life. You can't dictate my life, Edward. I've never done anything you told me to do when we were friends, and I'm not going to do it now that we are in a relationship."

"Is that what we're in… a relationship? It doesn't feel like it lately," I said, my voice practically spitting venom I was so upset.

"Well, maybe if you hadn't avoided me for four days, we could have talked about this sooner. You know, if you had been an adult about the entire situation. You probably don't even realize how much we have grown apart since we came here."

"I've noticed," I bristled. I missed my best friend. The flighty girl whose smile and laugh always made me feel so alive, even before I realized I was in love with her.

"I'm changing Edward. I'm growing up and you aren't. We're not in Forks anymore. I'm trying to exercise some independence and find out who I really am, and you aren't making it easy. This was supposed to be a wonderful thing for us… going to college together, falling more in love and making a life together. That's not happening. Where's the boy I fell in love with?"

"I'll make it really easy for you then. Go be with Liam… or someone else, I don't give a shit. Find someone who isn't going to hold you back or treat you like shit, ignoring how you feel, cause you clearly think I am doing that and all I want is for you to be happy."

I turned instantly and ran back into Raitt Hall as fast as my feet would take me, hiding in the first empty class room that I found. She wanted it to be easy; I would make it as easy for her as possible, by avoiding her at all costs. Now she could find herself, without me interfering. Too bad this was the last thing I wanted.

All I wanted was her.

**A/N: We don't have too much to share this week. We hope you don't hate us. LOL. But if you do, feel free to review your hate or find us over on our twilighted thread, there's links on our profiles. You can send death threats there.**


	24. Apart

**Risbee: Guess What?**

**CPW: My husband is an idiot?**

**Risbee: No, we all know that already. I was going to say that we got nominated for a golden lemon award. **Loud squeals and looks of utter disbelief.** For best car fuck no less!**

**CPW: Well, we did do the car fuck well didn't we? LOL**

**Risbee: Someone certainly thought so. So, make sure you lovely readers head on over to goldenlemonsawards (dot) com to vote for your favorites. There are tons of awesome stories nominated.**

**CPW: Including my other collaboration, Maybe I'm Falling For You, with Flightlessbird11. We're up for best dirty talk. Tee hee hee.**

**Risbee: You are a dirty whore.**

**CPW: You would know **winks like a spastic idiot because CPW can't wink in real life****

**Risbee: Well, there goes my mood. We don't own Twilight; CPW is serious, she can't wink. She can also only snap fingers on one hand. Weird huh?**

**BPOV**

I didn't remember making it back to my dorm room that afternoon. I just kept picturing Edward storming away after he accused me of fucking Liam and wouldn't listen to reason. Did he not know me at all? I mean, what the hell was he thinking? The only person I'd ever had sex was him. The only person I wanted to have sex with was him. The only person I could even imagine having sex with was him. Did the past eighteen years mean so little to him that he could just throw it all away with blanket accusations which he had to know were absolutely ridiculous? Did he honestly think that little of _me_? So now, not only was I not capable of taking care of myself, but I was unfaithful too. Lovely.

Siobhan came home as I was taking down all the pictures of us in a fit of rage and tossing every memento I had in a box - ticket stubs, more pictures, mix tapes because he was a bit old school and even the stupid fucking Halloween costume. All of it was getting shoved under my bed until I could figure out what to do with it, figure out what I could keep and what I could give back._ Wow, I had a lot of his clothes…_

"What in the world is going on, B?"

"Edward accused…Liam…Edward, no wait…Claire broke…coffee burned…we're always fighting…fuck." I sat on my bed and grabbed my head with both hands. The words all wanted to come out at the same time and I couldn't breathe and none of it made any sense at all. My hand screamed at me where it was burned from the spilled coffee and I just started rocking on my bed. The tears started and my whole body shook as it all hit me; I'd lost Edward.

I could hear my sobs and my gasps, but I couldn't feel them. I vaguely remember Siobhan taking off my shoes and scooting me over on the bed before sitting with me for hours. She didn't ask questions and didn't probe. She was just there and let me get it all out. I don't even know what time it was when she finally got up, but I do remember that it was dark outside.

For the first seventy-two hours after I walked away from Edward, I thought I was going to die. I was basically comatose. I skipped my classes, my meals and I ignored all my texts and emails. I didn't even get out of bed unless it was absolutely necessary, and even then I got right back under the covers as soon as I could. I knew people came in and out of our room, but I couldn't tell you who they were. I could just tell you who didn't come by; Edward.

But then again, I didn't go to him either. I wondered if he thought of me, if he had any regrets…not just about recent developments, but about our relationship as a whole. I wondered if we'd ever get to the point where we could even be around each other but if I was being completely honest with myself, I wasn't sure if we could.

"Yeh need to get your arse up, yeh bleeding dosser. I'm going to go get some brecki because I'm as weak as a salmon in a sandpit. When I get back, yeh to have hoofed it out o' here."

_Excuse me?_

I sat up on my arms and looked at Siobhan before rolling my eyes and turning back into my pillow. She could just get that ridiculous idea out of her head. I was not ready to get up, so I wasn't going to.

"I mean it, Swan. Shut up and dry your arse. Your aul wan has rang my phone twice this morn mumbling some sort of cosmic aura bullshite and your phone keeps beeping cause yeh won't answer the bloody thing. The room smells like shite because yeh haven't showered or changed duds in three days and while I don't relish the idea, I'm not above putting you in the shower me self. I've seen yeh naked before, one more time won't kill me." She waited a few minutes before continuing. "I'm completely serious, so stop acting the maggot. Yeh go on and on about how you can take care of yeh self… prove it."

I heard the door close and I wanted to throw something at her, but I didn't have the strength. I laid there for a few minutes thinking about what she said and trying to decode the Irish slang she always threw my way. As much as it hurt to admit it, she was right. I did stink and I needed to start acting like the grown up I professed to be.

So that Saturday I finally left the dorm, deciding it was best to go for a run, though my heart wasn't in it. It was hard to part with the comfy yoga pants and Grape Ape t-shirt that had comforted me over the past few days, but it was time to give them a break. Besides, I was a little bit afraid of what Siobhan would do if she came home and I was still in them, or if she even saw them for that matter. I didn't take her threat of calling a hazmat team to come cut them off of me lightly when she had first mentioned it yesterday in passing. To her credit, they may have maintained their shape when I did finally take them off to run through the laundry. Unfortunately, all my other comfy clothes consisted of items I had snagged from Edward over the years and I wasn't in a place to be able to wear them. I didn't want to get rid of them; I just didn't want to see them, not yet. Thus my run. I figured that by the time I got back, I could get back into my own clothes and back in my bed, but at least this was a start.

I borrowed Siobhan's iPod and it was strange running to unfamiliar music, and yet it was therapeutic. Cleansing even. I didn't know the words to most of the songs, so I let myself get lost in the rhythms and heavy drum beats of the musical genre she favored. I ran hard and fast, and by the time I got back to the dorm ninety minutes later, I was done being sad and self-loathing.

I was pissed.

I was mad at Liam for interfering in my relationship. I was mad at Claire for looking like Grace Kelly with her flawless skin and ability to walk without tripping on flat surfaces, even if her laugh did make her sound like a donkey. I was mad at the HUB for having lasagna because I knew it was Edward's favorite. I was mad at Edward for making me love him and I was mad at myself for thinking I could handle it all. Hell, if I thought about it hard enough, I could probably find a reason to be mad at just about anything for any reason. It didn't matter if it made sense or not, all I knew is that I was done being sad and heaven help the next thing that got in my way. Huh, maybe there was something to those stages of grief after all.

When I got back to my room, I decided to take a baby step back into the land of the living and I checked my emails and went through my messages. Somehow Rosalie had managed to get copies of the notes from all the classes I missed. How she knew my schedule and who was in my classes I wasn't sure, but I felt pretty sure Emmett helped out in some way. I didn't expect to hear much from him either, I understood that his primary allegiance was with Edward, and that was fine. However, I was hopeful that we'd eventually get to the point where we could all at least be friends. Life in Forks, even during holidays, was way too small to survive otherwise.

And speaking of Forks, I had a message from Angela on my voicemail. She seemed a bit cryptic, so I decided to call her back before I jumped in the shower.

"Well it's about time you called me back Bella. Things were about to get ugly."

"Why is that? Oh, and it's good to hear from you too," I joked back, but I meant it. It was really good to hear her voice. I didn't want to clue her in to anything going on around here just yet, instead letting her take the lead on the conversation.

"Well, remember me telling you I got those flight vouchers over the summer for when Delta overbooked my flight to Sacramento? Well they expire at the end of the month, so I need somewhere to go. Feel like some company?"

I felt tears start to well up in my eyes and then of course I started to get angry at myself for crying. Sometimes I hated being a girl. I fought them back and focused on the voice on the other end of the line. Even halfway across the country, Angela always knew what I needed. I thought about all the times growing up that she'd kept me grounded…or from getting grounded for that matter. She had always been more of a sister than a friend anyway, that's just the connection we had.

"Bella? Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here." I tried to hide the shaking in my voice.

"Are you sure? You sound stuffy. Are you getting sick, 'cause if you're getting sick, I'm not coming."

I'd forgotten that she was a wee bit of a germaphobe. "Ang, I'm fine. When are you coming?"

"Actually, what about this Friday? Like in six days? Does that work for you or do you and Edward have some fancy schmancy romantic plans that I don't even want to know about."

"Nope. My calendar is completely open. I'm sure Edward won't mind at all." I couldn't tell her what was going on with Edward and me over the phone. I would tell her when she got here because honestly I wasn't ready for all the questions because I simply didn't have the answers to give her. I didn't have them to give myself. "Oh, Ang, do you have an I.D.?"

"Um hello, Bells…preacher's daughter remember. How do you think Mike Newton got all that beer for his graduation party?"

"You didn't!"

"I absolutely did."

_Well done, Miss Weber. Well done. I admit to being impressed and a little envious of your courage._

"Bring it."

After a few more minutes spent catching up and talking about what we wanted to do while she was here, I got her off the phone and jumped in the shower, feeling better than I had in days. I had something to look forward to, instead of just the past however many days to dwell over. I'd get through this. Hell, maybe Edward and I could still be friends after all. I remember hearing Renee and Esme talk about a fight they had had with Charlie and Carlisle over a Rick Springfield concert of all things… and the two couples still ended up getting married. I wasn't about to think that far ahead, but it gave me hope that Edward and I could at least maintain some semblance of a relationship. Eventually.

However, if that was ever going to happen, I needed to figure out how to live independently from him first. The box of hair dye next to my toiletries caught my eye and the wheels started to spin.

_I wonder…_

I held the box in my hand and stared at it intently.

_Should I?_

I texted Nettie who responded immediately and I could hear her shrieks of approval from across the country.

_What about Charlie? He wouldn't notice. Renee wouldn't care and would probably want to do it herself. _

I had to stop myself before I tried to think about Edward's reaction because I couldn't do that anymore. So instead, I got online, found what I was looking for and made a few phone calls. Sure, I had thought about dying my hair again, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought something a little more risqué was needed.

The next few days flew by, well at least when compared to how the previous week had passed. I went to my classes, took thorough notes and studied to keep my mind from wandering. I even saw Edward…well I saw him from my dorm window on Friday when I was looking outside. Okay, so it _may_ have been accidentally on purpose because I knew when he got back from class, but it was not like I camped out in the lobby waiting for him to walk in. I did have _some_ pride after all.

As I watched him cross the courtyard into our building my heart ached for him. God, I missed him so much… I knew I did before, but seeing him… seeing him hit me like a ton of bricks. I put my hand up to the glass pane, trying to convince myself that I could still touch him and I fought back a choke in the back of my throat. Just at that very moment he looked up and caught me. He hesitated for a second before taking a deep breath and tearing his eyes away from mine.

I needed him in my life. Someway, somehow he had to be a part of it and once Angela left, I was going to figure out a way to make it happen.

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

I jumped as Angela's voice snapped me back to reality and I flung myself at her. "Oh my God! You're here! How did you get here? Your flight doesn't get in for another hour…" I stopped and then looked at her through narrowed eyes. "What did you do, Angela?"

"Don't be so suspicious, Bella. I just called the airline last night to see if I could get on an earlier flight. Nothing nefarious."

"And how did you get here? They don't have shuttles from the airport to campus and you look a little windblown. Wait… is that a hickey?" I shouted in utter shock. What the hell was going on?

"What?" she shrieked as she grabbed her neck and ran over to the mirror. "He promised he wouldn't leave a mark."

"What in the world did you do, hon?" At this point I started to panic and grabbed my makeup to see if I could find some concealer that would match her skin tone. There was no way that would be gone before she went back to Chicago, and Ben, in 48 hours. She would be lucky if that thing was gone by March.

"I met this guy on the plane and he gave me a ride. Oh and before you get all John Walsh on me, I saw his student I.D. and asked him all kinds of questions about campus and stuff. His name was Felix something or other. I can't remember, but he showed me his picture on the faculty directory."

"Holy shit…you rode here with Felix? Almost shoulder length hair brown hair and he wears shirts that are almost a little too tight? Makes a point of flexing when he thinks you're not looking at him?"

"Yes!"

"Ang! That guy's one of my Journalism TA's. He's a notorious man whore… and I can pretty much assure you, that you're not the only ride he's gonna give today. You're lucky you got away with just a hickey."

"The hickey is from Ben, Bella. Did you honestly think…oh my God, you DID." She started laughing hysterically and slid down the side of the wall until she was sitting on the floor. "Your face… it's priceless!"

"Fuck you." I tried to look mad, but I failed and ended up collapsed in a heap with her.

"You know, I'd heard rumors about what happens on the girls' floors, but I always thought it was a myth. Looks like today is my lucky day." I cringed when I saw Liam standing in my doorway. My door that hadn't been open a few seconds ago.

"Well come on in why don't ya," I said rolling my eyes and meeting Angela's gaze. I did the obligatory introductions because, of course, she had heard the stories, just not the latest. "Angela, this is Liam. Liam, this is my best friend from Forks, Angela. She's here for the weekend."

"Yeah, and we were just leaving. Right, Bella?" Angela grabbed my hand and started to pull me out of the room, giving me just enough time to grab my wallet and keys. "We're going to dinner and I'm not sure when we'll be back. So…."

Liam followed us down the hall and when we got to the stairwell, I heard a door close on a lower level. For a split second, I hoped that we'd run into Edward because there was no way he'd ignore Angela if he saw her and even if he didn't interact with me, it would be a good way to see how he was doing. But no such luck.

"I parked this way." Angela turned me to the right and we began heading down a different hallway as Liam followed, claiming that he needed to go our direction anyway. Suddenly, Angela turned around and I quirked an eye brow at her because she hadn't driven to campus, so she had no mode of transportation. What the hell was she doing? "Oops…I'm such an idiot. I'm completely turned around. I parked over on the other side. Liam, it was nice to meet you. Bella, we have reservations."

Liam gave us a curt nod and seemed to catch on that we were trying to ditch him. So he wished us a good night and let us wander back the way we came. Have I mentioned that I love Angela Weber?

We got into the stairwell and I kept an eye out for Liam, noticing him walk away towards the bank of elevators. Angela and I laughed because we felt like we were Charlie's Angels, pun totally intended. After I couldn't see Liam anymore, because he had turned the corner, I ran in my room, threw on some decent clothes with Angela's fashion direction and we headed to dinner.

At a back corner booth, with Spring Rolls, Pad Se Ew and several shots behind us thanks to our I.D.'s, Angela finally relaxed.

"Did I tell you Ben and I broke up about a month ago?"

"Seriously? But you said he…" I pointed to my neck and looked at her in confusion.

"We got back together. Yeah, he wanted me to come over for dinner and when I got off work and went to his apartment, I found a cooler filled with beer and a note. Apparently, Ben was running late and knew I'd get there before he finished at the gym. The note said 'don't have more than two'."

"Yeah?" I knew there had to be a point, but I wasn't getting it.

"Well, if he wanted to tell me what to do then fine, I'd listen. I'd have just two beers, but he didn't say anything about liquor…and there was no note giving me any sort of limit. So, I started drinking Everclear and red Kool-Aid."

"Angela! You didn't."

"I did. I tried to play it off like I was fine, that I wasn't in over my head. We went to dinner and I may or may not have tried to stuff leftover mashed potatoes in the pocket of his jacket. And when we got to the bar to see whatever band we were going to see that night, I absolutely did throw up all over his shoes. Then later that night I spilled a stadium cup full of water on his bed."

"And he dumped you for being drunk?"

"No. I broke up with him for being controlling and telling me what to do." She swirled the end of her Spring Roll in the ramekin of sauce before taking a bite. "Two days later, when I was still hungover, I realized that maybe, just maybe, he knew what he was talking about."

Oh, she was good. I had to admit though, I kind of felt like a kid in time out and I wasn't sure that I liked it. Still, I had to make sure that I kept her in a good mood so that my plans for later didn't get ruined.

"You're pretty sneaky, you know." She grinned, not truly acknowledging anything, but yet confirming that she knew more than she let on. I wondered who called her, but I had my suspicions.

We really didn't talk much about it after that. We caught up on things, avoided the heavy stuff and just enjoyed being with each other again. Oh, and we had more Saki… but I was fine, just tipsy enough to be warm and fuzzy, but not enough to risk being a hysterical crying drunk who runs back to call her ex-boyfriend at two in the morning. Ex-boyfriend. Wow, that stung a little.

Besides… most reputable tattoo parlors don't let you get inked while drunk. That's right. I was getting a tattoo. I thought it would be fun and something Angela and I could remember for the rest of our lives. What I didn't count on was the fact that Angela was terrified.

"Are you sure you don't want me to reschedule? You look a little green." I couldn't help my amusement. Angela was sitting up by my head, looking back behind me and squeezing my hand.

"We fought a lot you know… so much more than before. I don't think we even had an argument before I got accepted into the summer abroad program, and you know how miserable I was while I was gone. Then when I got back things were so good. You have absolutely no idea how good, but it's like once we got to school, things got weird. We were just out of sync, ya know.

I was so excited about being here with him, exploring our relationship, figuring out where we were going to go, but it was like he didn't want any of that. He didn't like my friends; ok so that's not necessarily true…he didn't like Liam. And that I could understand, but if I start letting him dictate little things here and there, where would it stop?" I questioned as I began pouring my heart out to my best friend to try and lessen the pain of the tattoo I was currently in the process of getting.

"I don't even think he realized he was doing it though and maybe it was just a miscommunication issue because the whole controlling thing is way out of character for him, but it scared me. Still, I was all set to concede on the Liam thing, but then he accused me of fucking him, Angela. Then he told me to leave and before I could wrap my head around it, he ran. I haven't spoken to him in almost two weeks and I just saw him for the first time today right before you walked into my room. I miss him so much, but I don't want him to be with me if he's not happy. I just don't know what to do. Ouch!"

"What? Is it hurting? Do you need to take a break?"

"Actually, the needle is fine. I barely feel it. You, on the other hand, are crushing my fingers."

"Oops. Sorry." She grinned sheepishly before losing herself in thought for a minute. "I love Animal Planet."

_Um…okay…._

"Ben and I watch it sometimes. He's a big fan of Shark Week, but I'll watch anything. They had this program on a few nights ago about this reserve in Africa and I spent a few minutes watching a giraffe being born. Did you know that they have a six foot drop? It totally freaked Ben out by the way. We'll either have to adopt or he's going to have to be medicated should we have children of our own one day. He's going to be useless in the delivery room. Anyway, that giraffe was all legs. They were spindly and tangled and clumsy, just a big mess, and they have to stand up to survive. It's not like their mom can carry them, right?" I stared up at Angela with my eyes wide because I was so fucking confused. What the hell was she getting at?

"But standing up is the easy part, relatively speaking. It's getting all four limbs to work together that's the hard part. The poor thing tripped so many times, but eventually it clicked and before long it was keeping up with its mom and everything was fine. He just had to make his brain communicate with his legs and everything started to come together. And Bella…remember one thing. Boys are stupid. Sometimes they need to trip and fall before they get their shit together."

I closed my eyes and let her words sink in, understanding finally coming to me. I concentrated on what she was telling me all the while breathing through the pain of the needle. When it was done and I got to look at the finished product, it was incredible.

"It's gorgeous." Angela looked at it and grinned.

"I know."

"He's gonna love it."

"I just hope he sees it one day."

**EPOV**

It had been two really long weeks. Even while Bella was away in Europe, time seemed to move faster because at least then I had talked to her. However, since I had left her in front of Raitt Hall, I hadn't seen or heard from her. Then again, it's not like I expected to hear from her. My frustration with our situation, the lack of communication and the deterioration of our relationship had reached a boiling point and the moment I broke up with her, I figured it was a pretty permanent situation.

At first I couldn't find it in me to care, but as time wore on my body coursed with regret. What the hell had I done? Why the fuck would I break up with the only person who truly understood me and loved me unconditionally?

When I had gotten back to my room that Tuesday afternoon, Emmett took one look at me as I walked in the door and immediately knew what had happened.

"Why in the hell would you break up with her?"

"Wha… how… just… what? How did you know I broke up with her?"

"It's written all over your face, Edward. The sadness, emptiness, remorse and hurt. You better have a good reason for this shit."

"Been watching Oprah again? You're a little in touch with your feminine side, aren't ya?"

"Shut the fuck up. You know I'm right. Anyways, if you were more like me you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Oh yeah, cause your relationship is just fine, right? Are you able to even talk to your girlfriend in public?" Emmett smacked me upside the head and then spent the next twenty minutes trying to talk some sense into me, yelling and reminding me how hard I had fought to be with her to begin with, but it didn't make a bit of a difference.

Yeah, I had loved her from the first moment I saw her, and I was the one who pursued her relentlessly before she left for Europe, but things had changed drastically when she got back from her summer abroad program. The more I thought about it, the more I hated being left out of her life while she had been gone. She had all these experiences that I didn't, and while I acted like everything had been normal when she got back, it wasn't. Bella had new friends and adventures, where as I had a boring summer stuck in Forks. Now, as we got settled in college, Bella was growing a little bit and I was standing still. Hadn't she told me that?

I shook my head and steadied my resolve. Our breakup was not the result of _just_ my issues, they were Bella's too. With Liam in the picture, I was never a priority and she knew this. Sure, it was a low blow accusing her of cheating with him, but I wanted to know without a doubt that nothing was happening between them. Of course, I felt like shit when confirmed for me that I was the only guy she had been with, but that didn't discount all the other issues we had in our relationship… trust and honesty being the two biggest ones we hadn't dealt with.

"She doesn't think I trust her, and to be honest, while Liam is hanging around, I'm not sure what to think."

"If you can't say without a doubt that you trust her, then she's right and you don't trust her."

"It's Liam I don't trust."

"You don't trust either of them, jackass."

"I don't trust Liam. Bella keeps trying to tell me that she is growing up and I'm not, but I don't feel like that is the case at all. I don't think either of us is growing up. We're still acting like stupid high school kids and this is probably the reason were in this predicament."

"Actually, you are single because you accused your girlfriend of fucking your arch enemy and sent her packing like a complete fucking tool. You know that Bella would never cheat on you dipshit. Not in a million fucking years."

"My arch enemy? What is he… the Wile E. Coyote to my Road Runner?"

Emmett scowled at me for a moment for trying to make light of the situation, but then Rosalie called him and he had to go. Luckily for him, he still had something like a relationship with Rosalie to maintain, even if they did it in complete secrecy. After the Halloween party debacle, Emmett informed me that Rosalie admitted she was being a bit controlling, but then she said she loved him. Emmett was floored and told her the same back and they agreed to keep things on the down low until the semester was over. Rosalie wasn't TA'ing any classes in second semester, so it would be a non issue for them and they could finally be a real couple.

I may have been a bit envious of how easy they were able to get past their conflicts. For Bella and I, whenever we fought, things just seemed to snowball and get worse, never really getting better.

For the next few days, I saw Emmett sporadically as I remained holed up in our dorm room and he didn't want to discuss my break up with Bella. He was drawing an invisible line in the sand, so to speak. In fact, he kept referring to himself as Switzerland and talking about chocolate, but I didn't think he understood the connotation. I think it was just something Rosalie had suggested to him as a way to separate himself from the drama.

I knew Emmett didn't want to pick sides, and I wasn't asking him to, but I would think that after being my best male friend for the past dozen years or so, he would want to pick my side. Then again, Bella had been my best friend since birth, and I seemed to have no issue casting her aside when the first major road bump came along.

It was almost a week after Bella and I broke up that my mother called out of the blue, just wanting to talk. I was immediately suspicious, but she saw through all my attempts to brush off her concerns and wouldn't let me off the phone until I told her why I sounded different.

"I can't discuss it," I replied simply as I heard her scoff on the other end of the phone.

"Edward, you used to discuss everything with me. Just because you moved away and are the big man on campus now, doesn't mean that you can't talk to me about things."

"The big man on campus? People don't say that stuff anymore, mom."

"Fine. Whatever. Just talk to me. Is it about school?"

"No."

"Is Emmett being a pain in the ass? I told you not to room with him. Even Mrs. McCarty forewarned you that he was a messy person and hadn't cleaned his bedroom in years. "

"No, Emmett is fine. He's surprisingly tidy actually, though I think that might have something to do with the girl he's seeing."

"Ok, so it's not Emmett. Are you eating enough? Do you need money?"

"No mom, I'm fine."

"It's not fine. Stop using that word, Edward. Your father always uses it when he's angry about something and doesn't want to talk to me. Something is wrong clearly wrong and you should talk about it. I'm a great listener. At least you used to think so."

"Oh my god, nothing is wrong. I need to go study for a test or something." I was desperate to try and get off the phone because if my mother persisted, she was going to find out and I wasn't ready for that. I didn't want to put a wrench into her friendship with Renee and I was pretty sure Bella hadn't told her mom otherwise Renee would have driven to campus and hunted me down for breaking her little girls' heart. Both sets of parents would be disappointed in us and I couldn't handle that. Over the past few days, I had been thinking that it felt like our parents had more riding on the success of our romance than Bella or I did. This would hurt them and I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. However, the more I thought about it, I didn't want Bella to be the one to tell them either, but it was inevitable that it would come out sooner rather than later.

"Is it Bella?" I fell silent and my mother immediately gasped on the other end of the phone, knowing that she had hit the nail on the head that time. "Are you guys fighting?"

"It's a little more than that."

"She's not pregnant is she? Please tell me you are being careful, Edward. I'm too young to be a grandmother."

"Umm… we were being careful. I really need to go, mom. I really do have a test tomorrow." My voice cracked slightly and so did my resolve.

"Edward… what's wrong?"

"We broke up. There you have it, my big problem. Aren't you glad you asked?" I was furious and I knew my voice was angry and shrill, but my mother didn't deserve to bear the brunt of my frustration. "Bella thought I treated her like a child and I felt like a second class citizen next to her 'friend' Liam. We fought publicly and I broke up with her."

"Oh Edward… I'm sorry honey. Have you talked to her about everything? Perhaps if you guys just sat down and discussed your issues, you would see that things weren't as bad as you thought they were."

"That was the problem, mom… we didn't talk. I wanted Bella to stay away from this guy who had been flirting with her since they first met in Europe and she insisted he was nothing more than a friend. Unfortunately, this so-called friend was trying to sabotage our relationship and she didn't see it. I felt like she didn't take me seriously. He's complete scum and she chose him over me."

"Did Bella actually say she wanted Liam and not you?"

"Well… no," I stammered anxiously as my mother sighed on the other end of the phone. She was clearly saddened about our break up.

"I'm disappointed in you Edward."

"Wait, what?"

"I thought I had raised you better than this. Communication is the key to all successful relationships and you guys are failing miserably. Bella never said she wanted Liam, but you are assuming this. You've been following your heart and not listening to your head. You need to sit down and think long and hard about what you want. "

"I've only ever wanted Bella."

"Then don't you think you should do something about that? Talk to the girl, I'm sure things aren't nearly as dire as they seem." The moment I hung up from my call with my mother, I felt worse than I had before she called. Emmett was out for the night with Rosalie and I desperately needed to get things off my chest so I emailed Ben, knowing that he and Angela had broken up and he was in the same boat as me. I literally poured my heart out to him, telling him everything that had happened and I didn't sugar coat any of it like I had with my mother.

I was shocked when Ben instant messaged me not five minutes after I hit send on my email and let me know that he and Angela were back together already. We chatted for the next two hours, both of us opening up about what had been good and bad in our relationships and he told me the same thing everyone else had told me – I needed to talk to Bella and be honest with her.

For the next week I contemplated how to go about approaching Bella and trying to talk to her. I had pushed her away, but I knew that no grand gesture would work for her. I certainly couldn't do the radio over my head outside her dorm window thing like Lloyd Dobbler because that guy had skills I didn't. I talked to Emmett, Ben and even my mom again for advice and everyone told me something different, which just confused me more than ever.

So it was on Friday evening that I went up to Bella's dorm room hoping to convince her to join me for dinner. All I wanted was some time to clear the air between us, but sadly, I never got the chance.

"Hey Cullen," said Liam's sickeningly smug voice as I stepped off the elevator at the sixth floor and found him standing there looking like the cat that ate the canary.

"Liam."

"If you're looking for Bella, she's not here."

"Don't talk to me about Bella."

"Fine, but I'll let you know that she just went out for the night with Angela."

"Angela's in town? What the fuck?"

"Yeah, Ang is in town," Liam said with a grin as he talked about Angela like they were old friends. What the hell had happened in the past two weeks? "They were going out for dinner and tomorrow we are hanging out for a while. Ang seems so nice, very sweet girl."

"I call bullshit."

"You can believe whatever you want Cullen," Liam said as he climbed into the elevator and left me standing in the hallway. "Thanks for breaking up with Bella, by the way. It's gonna make my life so much easier." The elevator doors closed and Liam disappeared from my sight, but not before I punched my fist through the wall, hearing the crack of my fingers, just as Rosalie was walking down the hallway. I pulled my hand out from the drywall as Rosalie ran to my side and began cursing a streak about how stupid, immature and moronic I was being.

She called Emmett who met me downstairs in the front lobby of our building and he took me and my crushed hand to the emergency room. After several hours of sitting around waiting to be seen, I finally got ushered in and had an x-ray taken, only to find out that sure enough, I had broken my hand. The night continued to drag on as I got a cast put on and Emmett joked around about the doctor suggesting I wear a pink colored cast; I went with black. It fit my mood.

When we got back to the dorms, Angela and Bella were piling out of a cab at the front door of our building, yammering on drunkenly as Emmett quirked his eye brow at me. How the hell had they gotten drunk in the first place, neither of them was of age.

Emmett and I walked from my car to the doors as the girls continued to giggle and then Angela looked up and noticed me, her eyes suddenly becoming very angry.

"Oh look… if it isn't Mr. Heartbreaker himself," she said snidely as Bella turned to face me, her eyes growing wide. Suddenly, her entire face went pale and before I could say anything, Bella was puking into the bushes at the side of the building as Emmett groaned beside me. "See what you've done to her? This is all your fault, you know."

"Don't start, Ang."

"What did you do to your hand, asshole?"

"I punched a wall."

"Edward loves to punch shit now, Ang," Bella said as she lifted her head slightly and pushed her sweaty hair from her forehead. She looked like shit and my heart broke for her. "He punches walls and two weeks ago he punched Liam."

"That douche deserved it," added Emmett as he jumped in to try and defend me.

"Do you think I deserved to get dumped, Emmett?" Bella shouted at him as Emmett cowered behind me and then opened the front door of the building, trying to usher us all in while avoiding the question. "I didn't think so."

"Bella, you're so much better off without Edward anyways. You can be free to do whatever you want to do. Who cares what Edward thinks right?" Angela shouted drunkenly as she waved her arms around dramatically, as though she was trying to make some sort of point. "He wouldn't have let you drink tonight, he probably wouldn't have wanted me to visit, and he surely wouldn't have let you get a tattoo."

"You got a tattoo?" I stammered tentatively as Bella simply nodded her head. She placed her hand gently over her hip and I suddenly found myself desperately wanting to know what it was of. Had she gotten something suitable or something really stupid because she had been drunk, like a picture of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street or something equally lame? "What did you get?"

"Why do you care, Edward?"

"Just because we broke up doesn't mean I stopped caring about you."

"You could have fooled me," Bella said sadly as she suddenly turned on her heel and stepped into the elevator. Emmett and I stood outside the door a little awestruck as Angela helped steady Bella and then hit the button to close the doors.

"Tattoos are hot, dude. You really fucked up."

"Tell me something I don't know."

**B/M (aka Beta Message) Risbee and CPW won't listen to me. I told them to fix it and they aren't' doing it fast enough. I just want to make sure that you lovely readers are aware they aren't listening and it's not my fault it's not fixed yet.**


	25. Encounters

**Risbee: Happy Sunday!**

**CPW: Yes, it is sorta wonderful today isn't it?**

**Risbee: We're posting our story, I placed second in the Plot Bunny contest yesterday for my o/s Gotta Have You, and I'm sure there is other stuff going on.**

**CPW: Nothing as important as your Plot Bunny results. I'm proud of you and think everyone should go take a read of it, 'cause it was really cute and funny.**

**Risbee: You're making me blush.**

**CPW: And you're gonna make me hurl. You know I don't do cute and fluffy. ****Oh and I should point out that the same one shot is nominated in the Single Shot awards. Voting starts tomorrow at thesingleshotawards (dot) blogspot (dot) com**

**Risbee: Whatever. Anyways, we don't own Twilight; but we are halfway done writing the outtake for this story, bought by the wonderful sharkbellywhite in the FGB Auction. Thanks honey! ****Our poor, overworked, yet wonderful Beta MaggieMay14 will shoot us soon.**

**CPW: Onto the show. Bring on the Turkey!**

**BPOV**

I never professed to be able to see into the future. In fact, I'd always been skeptical of anybody that felt the need to consult with their psychic friends to help them make decisions. People that could read minds or see visions, yeah they were freaky. Miss Cleo, I'm looking at you. I freely admit this though. I would have given anything to know two months ago that I would be relying on Renee Swan to get me home for Thanksgiving. Jesus, Mary and Joseph this was going to be a long trip.

_Siobhan would be proud. Ha!_

I mean, I wasn't necessarily surprised that she had to come get me. The dorms were due to be closed for the holiday and everybody had to go home, or at least find other accommodations. It's not like I had a car here and riding home with Edward wasn't exactly a feasible option these days, so Renee was regrettably my only option.

Not that Esme and Renee didn't try to force the issue, but I wouldn't allow it. Lord knows how many times I had to explain to Renee that unless they wanted to buy me a car, one of them would have to pick me up. I know we had the same conversation every day there for a while, sometimes twice a day. There was one day I was pretty convinced I heard Esme in the same room as my mom, having the same conversation with Edward, which meant they had compared notes. Gee, big shock there.

Eventually, they eased up a bit which made me wonder what Edward said to his mom to get her to drop the issue. Did he know, like I did, that they tag-teamed us? Still easing up did not mean giving up completely ,as was evident from the fact that I was still trying to deal with the fallout of our breakup from Renee. The woman was relentless and I honestly think it was pure fear of having to handle Thanksgiving alone that finally convinced her to come get me. Well, that and the fact that I threatened to hitchhike knowing full well that chief-daddy would never allow it.

"Well, I just don't understand why you couldn't just suck up your pride a little bit and ask him for a ride, Bella. I mean, surely he wouldn't leave you stranded and starving in the dorms over the holiday weekend."

"Mom, I really don't want to talk about it… again. Look, I've explained it to you already thousands of times. Things are just too weird right now. We're not speaking really, we can barely make eye contact and I didn't want to make him feel anymore uncomfortable than we already do around each other. Plus, Emmett was riding with him and it wouldn't have been fair to him either. They both deserve a stress free ride home so just let me handle it, okay?"

_Just let me handle it. I seem to be asking that a lot lately._

"All I'm saying is that what if I didn't have a car?"

"But you do."

"But what if I didn't?"

"Mom, you do."

"But what if I didn't?"

_Oh my God, fucking shoot me._

"Mom, if you didn't have a car, things might have played out differently. I could have hopped on a Greyhound. I could have found some other student going towards Forks. I could have stayed in a hotel for the weekend and ordered room service. I could have tied a bunch of helium balloons around my waist and hoped for the best. But the fact of the matter is, you DO have a car, you DO have the capability to come get me and I DIDN'T have to ask Edward. Can we just not talk about it anymore? _Please?_"

"Balloons would never have worked, Bella. You could have been snagged on tree branches and popped one and then where would you be but stuck up in a tree."

_Is she for real?_

"And besides, it would have taken you way too long. You would have missed Thanksgiving altogether and by the time you got home it would be time to go back to school."

"So not the point, Mom."

I reached forward and turned on the stereo before leaning back on the headrest and closing my eyes, deciding to focus on the music instead of trying to talk to her. Maybe she'd think I was sleeping or something, I didn't really care. I just didn't want to talk about Edward for a little while. I thought about him though, and about us constantly, and I just wanted a few minutes before things got weird again, because with us all going back to Forks… yeah, it was inevitable. Well, assuming I even saw him of course.

I needed to see him.

Two whole miles. We made it about two miles before I heard it and my eyes popped open like somebody shot me. I looked over at mom and she was trying to look innocent, with her hands on the wheel at ten and two and her back perfectly straight and avoiding eye contact, but it made her look anything but.

"No. No way. I am NOT listening to Delilah and her sappy love stories for three hours. I will WALK home first."

"I can't control what's on the radio Bella and really, she's not that bad. You might even learn a thing or two. She's syndicated for a reason you know."

"Look, you can try and make me listen to everybody's sob stories and romance and all that shit," _I would not apologize, I would not apologize, I would not apologize,_ "but I can't handle it. I loved him Mom. I did… I do… but I did not love how we were together. It wasn't the same." The tears started flowing, my nose was running and if I wasn't barreling down the highway at a reckless fifty-five miles per hour with a cop's wife, I would have crawled into her lap and gone fetal. Because she was my momma and I needed her to comfort me.

"Of course it wasn't the same baby. You actually had to work at it for the first time ever because you had something together. You both tiptoed around it for so long that you never had to really face it before. And then when it did click, when it did happen, it was so powerful that it freaked you both out. Hell, even your dad said something about the connection between you two being cosmic. Your dad has never used the word cosmic in all the years that I've known him."

I laughed and choked at the same time because I wanted it all to be over. I wanted to be with Edward. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to prove a point to anybody, everybody or somebody. But at this point, I wasn't really sure what it was all about anyway. I just wanted things to be right.

I thought about what my mom said though, and she was correct. Edward and I never had to try before, we just were. We danced around and had this incredible thing going, but at the end of the day, he went to his house, I went to my house and we had our separate lives. At UW, we were each others lives. We didn't have parents, or little sisters, to walk in on us. Granted, we did have Emmett and Siobhan, but still… for the first time, the only two people in our relationship were the two of us. It was terrifying and beautiful and so uncharted that I think we were both a bit freaked out. At least, I was finally starting to believe that I was; I could only assume that he was too.

Three easy-listening hours later we got home and the second we pulled in the driveway, I started crying.

"Get it together Bella. You're all splotchy and you are going to scare your dad."

I nodded and grinned because I knew she was right, Charlie was a tough guy but he couldn't handle tears, especially from his girls. In fact, they gave him hives and then he had to take Benadryl, which would result in him falling asleep on the couch. After spending all that time in the car with mom, I needed him to keep her entertained tonight because I'd done my time.

I grabbed my bags out of the back of the car and walked inside. It looked the same, but different. Like only two people lived there, which I guess technically they did. I was just a visitor there now… wow, that hit me kind of hard. I looked around and tried to figure out exactly what it was, it just felt like something was missing. It looked… empty?

There was a note from dad saying that he had to run out for a few things, but that he would be home for dinner and as much as I wanted to see him, I was almost relieved that he wasn't at home. It would give me a chance to go upstairs, decompress, take a long shower and get myself put back together before I had to put on my brave face and pretend that everything was fine. I walked up the stairs and stood in the doorway of my room taking everything in. It felt empty, just like downstairs, but worse. My bed was there, but that was it. All parts of me, all signs that it was _my _room, they were all gone and were in my dorm room… and even then most of them were stuffed in a box under my bed.

It then struck me as I looked around… _that _was what was missing downstairs. All the pictures with the Cullen's were put away. All the gifts, trinkets and signs that they even existed had been moved. God, what had I done? This had become so much more than just about Edward and me, but I didn't mean for it to be. Whatever ended up happening between Edward and me, I didn't want to have this kind of impact on everybody else. It shouldn't have any effect on them because they weren't in the relationship with him; I was. This was so epically wrong.

I felt like I was on an endless roller coaster. I didn't know what to do, how to act, where to go or who to talk to. I just wanted somebody to tell me what to do.

I had to laugh at the irony. All this time I'd wanted people to trust me and let me make my own path. Now that I was lost, I had nobody to turn to. Fuck. Why was this so hard?

The emptiness, the sterility, it was all too much. I had to get out of here and let it sink in.

I had Edwards' number halfway dialed before I even realized what I was doing and deleted them knowing that that it would have been more than just a little bit awkward. He wasn't my lifeline anymore. Fortunately, I snapped out of it and called Angela. I needed to get away from here, away from the ghosts that weren't there, but yet still were. I could feel him like a phantom limb and I felt smothered by the nothingness. She agreed to come over and go for a walk since I couldn't decide where I wanted to go; I just knew it had to be somewhere. There were just too many memories attacking me all at once and I needed a clean slate to lay everything out there so I could and try and make something of this mess.

I grabbed my coat off my bed and went downstairs to tell mom where I was going and found her doing yoga in the living room. For what it's worth, it is not easy to carry on a conversation with your mother when she is in downward facing dog. It's a bit disturbing actually. I had forgotten how much but it was my cue to wait outside.

Angela pulled up a few minutes later because, well, because it never takes more than a few minutes to get anywhere in Forks. She just smiled at me and we started walking, not talking, just walking. I thought about everything she said to me when I saw her a few weekends ago and most of it I could figure out, but some of it made me angry. Especially when we ran into him when we got back to the dorm. I may have been drunk but I don't think I'd ever forget it.

"_See what you've done to her? This is all your fault, you know."_

"_Bella, you're so much better off without Edward anyways. You can be free to do whatever you want to do. Who cares what Edward thinks right?"_

"_He wouldn't have let you drink tonight, he probably wouldn't have wanted me to visit, and he surely wouldn't have let you get a tattoo."_

His fault. Better off without Edward. Wouldn't have let you. That wasn't it at all. She made him seem like this monster and he wasn't. I needed to know why she said it and I needed to make sure she knew that he wasn't that way at all. He was the kindest, most genuine, most perfect person I'd ever known. I hated that my issues tainted the way she saw him.

My issues. Huh.

"Back in Seattle when we ran into Edward and I was wasted… why did you say those things? Edward didn't keep me locked in a basement. He didn't hurt me physically and he wasn't some sort of tyrant. You can't think about him like that. Promise me that you don't think badly about him."

"Bella, you said he was picking your friends and that he didn't trust you."

"He was… sorta." And he was, but just not to the degree that she was talking about.

"Well, he either was or he wasn't. I've watched plenty of Lifetime movies to know what an abusive relationship looks like."

"Oh my God Angela, you cannot possibly think he was abusive. Just… just no. He can't kill spiders, he can't watch commercials about the animal shelter, and he has to eat the last Peep because he doesn't want it to get lonely. Ok, maybe I shouldn't have told you that, but really, he's not as bad as you make him seem. I was just frustrated with him and the whole situation."

"But you said…"

"I know what I said and I stand by it, but you are completely magnifying the situation and making it seem a kazillion times worse. There is no abuse; he simply doesn't trust me to make my own decisions. Add that to the fact that we're not the same people as we were before and there you have it." I tripped over a pothole and landed on my knees in the middle of the street, ripping my jeans. Awesome, now I was bleeding on the outside as well as on the inside.

"Okay then. What about this, Bella? Have you ever thought that maybe his eyesight is better than yours? That maybe he knows he has to look out for the potholes and the Liam's of the world because he knows you don't like to see the imperfections and flaws in life? That maybe he'd rather protect you than change you? That maybe the last thing on earth he wants to do is crush your spirit?"

I thought about what she was saying and this time Edwards words from the other night washed over me in a wave.

"_Why do you care, Edward?"_

"_Just because we broke up doesn't mean I stopped caring about you."_

"_You could have fooled me."_

As it all started to sink in, I realized that for the first time in my life I had lied to Edward. I knew he cared, that even if we never spoke to each other again he would always care in some aspect, just as I would always care for him. How I could even allude to something different was crazy talk. But that night I spoke out of anger, I spoke out of hurt, and I spoke out of line. It may have cost me everything.

"So what do I do about it? And no more of that reverse psychology bullshit. I'm confused enough about the whole situation as it is. Just tell me what to do." She started to open her mouth, but before she could say a word, I quickly interjected. "Yes, I know what I'm saying. I have no pride anymore."

"It's not a matter of pride, Bella. Nobody wants you to give that up. Though as far as telling you what to do, I can't do that and you know it. Obviously you want to fix it, so do it. It's your relationship, your responsibility. You're a big girl; you can take care of yourself. Now, say hi to Ben." She picked up her phone and held it out to the side up to take our picture, but before I knew what happened she turned and kissed me on the mouth.

"What the hell was that?" I laughed and watched as she hit send on her phone.

"Just setting the balls in motion. If I know you and Edward the way I'm pretty sure I do, you're not the only one venting right now. Cute, huh?" She showed me the picture and aside from the shocked/deer in the headlights expression on my face it was actually a pretty awesome picture. "He called Ben right after you called me you know. They're together now."

Somehow I found comfort in that. It reminded me of how we leaned on them before, when we were trying to figure things out and here we were doing it again. Cue Elton John singing the 'Circle of Life'. I still didn't know what was going to happen between us, but at least I didn't feel like things were as hopeless as they seemed hours earlier.

We wandered around a bit more, eventually returning back to my house and I invited Angela inside because I knew my parents would have loved to see her. She declined though once she got a return message from Ben. I didn't even have to ask what it said; the blush creeping across her cheeks was more than enough. In all honestly though, it was probably a good thing that she didn't stay because I obviously had a lot of thinking to do.

And over the next few days I thought a lot. When I wasn't sleeping, I was thinking. I thought while I did laundry, while I tried to reorganize my room and while I took a break from studying for exams. I thought about things when I tried to watch a Seahawks game with Charlie until he figured out my heart wasn't in it and told me I could go. I honestly didn't _mean_ to cheer when the other team scored, it just happened. I was even thinking as I drove to the diner on Thanksgiving Day to pick up dinner.

That's right. Diner food for Thanksgiving. That was all my fault too.

I knew Renee couldn't cook something so overwhelming as a Thanksgiving dinner by herself. That was why we always did holidays with Edward, Esme, Carlisle and Alice… sweet Alice. I wondered if she was still bossing Jasper around and if he was still putting up with it. Maybe I'd write her a letter for the future with all my sage relationship advice. _Snort_. A letter of 'don'ts' because something tells me the 'do's' wouldn't be a problem for her.

I was a little surprised at the amount of traffic in the diner parking lot as I pulled in and actually had to circle the lot a few times before giving up and parking in the gravel lot across the street. Don't get me wrong, the food here was good, but it wasn't _that_ good. Okay, so maybe the pumpkin pie was, which is why we ordered it every year and why it was the one contribution Renee made to the meal with the Cullen's.

_I wondered briefly if they knew it wasn't homemade._

Mary waved at me from behind the counter and I grinned back. "Hey Bella. I've got them boxing everything up in the back. It's a pretty big order, do you want to pull your car around back and just load it up there?"

"I'm fine. It's nice out so I'll just make a couple of trips. I'll be fine." The Macy's Day parade was being repeated on one of the TV's so I just sat on a stool at the bar and watched the giant balloons and poor lip-syncing as it wound its way through the cold streets of Manhattan. Then it hit me, lots of food? Why would Renee have ordered lots of food? There were only going to be three of us eating it. Mary came out of the back with three pies and I knew there had to be some sort of mistake.

"Mom ordered three pumpkin pies?"

"Actually two pumpkin pies and an apple."

"Are you sure that's all for us? I mean that's a lot of pies for three people." Just then one of the guys from the kitchen came out with what looked like two casseroles dishes and I knew something had to be up. "I don't think that's ours, Mary." She looked at me and down at the ticket in her hand and nodded slowly before sliding it to me to look at. Yeah, something was definitely up.

"Are y'all not eating with the Cullen's this year, hon? I just assumed you were like you do every year, so when Mrs. Cullen called to order a green bean casserole, I just combined the two. Was that not right?"

Well that answered my question about if they knew about the pies. I also now knew that Esme did _not_ in fact make everything else she served at Thanksgiving dinner. Sneaky little thing. But yeah, they knew about the pies, of course they did. Esme knew Renee better than anyone, well except for Charlie of course. Esme knew Renee couldn't cook, couldn't bake, and could barely use the microwave.

Oh shit. If Mary thought we were eating together, odds are she told the Cullen's their food would be ready at the same time. Which meant that… yup, when the little bells chimed above the door I didn't even have to turn around.

"No, Mary. There's been a change of plans this year. We need our orders separate, sorry. Maybe I will go move my car around back."

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. There's no need for you to go to that trouble. Here's your pie and I'll go divide everything really quick. You should be able to get it all in one trip. No need to move, here… have some coffee." She poured a small cup for me and handed me the container of creamer and I busied myself with a stirrer, trying not to look over at who I could feel looking at me. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't.

I knew that if I looked at him I wouldn't be able to hold myself back and I would fling myself around him to cry and snot sob and make even more of a complete fool out of myself than I already had. No, when I talked to him, it needed to be in private, just the two of us. If I could even get him to agree to do that and at this point I wasn't sure he'd agree to talk to me.

_Look at him._

_No._

_You know you want to._

_Of course I want to. I just can't._

_Do it! Just a quick peek._

I couldn't fight it any longer and I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head. It didn't feel like he was angry, if that made any sense, so maybe it would be okay to look over and acknowledge him. I mean, we'd had some contact at school and we were civil. It didn't have to be any different here, right?

Slowly, I turned and lost myself in the green eyes that haunted my sleep. I smiled shyly at him, not really in a flirtatious way because neither of us was ready for that, but in a 'you've always been my best friend and I miss you' type of way. He nodded back slightly and we just stared at each other, neither of us able to speak.

I could feel myself being drawn to him and I needed to be close to him. Mary would have our orders ready in a few minutes, so we'd be going our separate ways then. Surely we could have a conversation for a few minutes and everything would be fine, right? I started to slide off the stool, hearing the bells chime again, but not really paying attention to who came inside – until I saw lopsided wonky tits and poufy blond hair fling herself all around Edward.

Looks like Jessica's family ordered from the diner too.

Happy fucking Thanksgiving.

**EPOV**

"You look sick. Did you have dad take your temperature? Sometimes when I'm sick he makes me take this medicine that tastes like bananas and mom brings me ginger ale. Do you want some ginger ale?"

"No, Alice. I feel fine, I promise. I'm just a bit tired."

"Then get some sleep. I went to a sleepover a few weeks ago at Tanya's house and it smelt like burnt tire. It was so weird. Me and Lacey pretended we were sick so that we could leave. Mom said it was wrong to lie, but it really smelled funny. I slept good in my bed. You should sleep in your own bed, you'll feel better."

"I will."

"Jasper wants to play Xbox with you tomorrow. Is that okay? I already told him it was okay."

"It's fine."

"When is Bella coming over? I know she's not your girlfriend now, but I still like her as my friend. She plays really good. I have some new Barbie's I want to show her. Mom got me a really nice one that is Lt. Uhura from Star Trek."

"No, Alice. She won't be coming over and how the hell do you know about Star Trek?"

"Jasper."

I let out a sigh of frustration and rolled my eyes as Alice began flipping channels until she found something with Miley Cyrus or one of those other overdone teen actresses. I wasn't paying attention though. I was busy watching my mother flitter around the kitchen like a bumblebee on crack. There was something going on there, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Ever since I had gotten home from school three days earlier, she had been all over the place. The phone hardly rang anymore, and if it did, it was Jasper calling for Alice. I constantly found my mother talking to herself or arguing with my father over little asinine things, but when I walked into the room they acted like everything was perfectly fine.

There was a word I was beginning to hate… fine.

It was quickly becoming the most overused word in my vocabulary as I used it every time someone asked me how I was doing. Whether it was my parents, Ben, Claire or even Emmett, it was always the same thing, day in and day out. _Fine. I'm doing fine. Everything is just fine._

Of course, the words coming from my mouth differed greatly from the thoughts in my head because nothing was fucking fine. I was as far from fine as one could be. I was the antithesis of fine!

In fact, I knew things weren't fine in the Cullen house the moment I walked in the door and noticed the missing pictures on the wall that my mother didn't even try to cover up. I mean, she could have at least put some different photos up to make it look less conspicuous. But no, I had to look at the blank spots on the walls that used to house photos of Bella and me with our families. I felt like an ass, because even though Bella and I had broken up, it didn't mean our families had to tiptoe around the situation. So, rather than let things fester, like I had with Bella, I called my mother out on it the night I got home.

"You didn't have to take the pictures down you know." I was trying to help her out by setting the table for dinner, but she remained distracted as I purposely began mismatching cutlery, something I knew drove her mad.

"Edward, you are an important member of this family. I figured that looking at those pictures was going to make the situation awkward, and I just wanted to alleviate some of that. Ren…" My mother stopped dead in her tracks and turned back towards the stove, stirring the pot of chili she had simmering.

"You can say Renee's name, Mom. I'm sure you guys are still friends, and I would hate it if your friendship was ruined because things fell apart between Bella and me."

"I'm just looking out for your feelings, hon. Being home is hard enough when you've been out on your own for a little while now. I doubt it would help to come home and see pictures of you and Bella from junior prom or graduation hanging on the wall."

"Yeah, but…"

"Listen to me, Edward. I am wise beyond my years when it comes to matters of the heart. You and Bella are just going through a rough patch and Renee and I have faith that you guys will find your way back to each other, but we aren't going to meddle."

"Isn't you taking pictures down meddling?"

"No, it's not. Meddling would be me having insisted to you the other day that you drive Bella back to Forks with you and Emmett regardless of how you felt about the situation. Meddling would be me dragging you by your ear over to the Swan house so that you and Bella could hash out your problems. Meddling would be…"

"Yeah, I get the point mom."

"Good. Now fix this. I know there is miscommunication because you're eighteen, what else do you guys know to do?" My mother snorted when she laughed and I just rolled my eyes. "You and Bella are meant for each other. It's like… set in the stars or something equally cheesy and astral as Renee would say."

Ironically, my mother said almost the same things that Ben had said earlier in the day when we had gotten together. It didn't take me long after I got back from Seattle to call him. We met at the diner and he let me vent about the past two weeks where Bella and I basically ignored each other at school, with the exception of the odd head bob or small wave. There were no actual words spoken though. It was aggravating.

Ben was supportive, but told me I was being a jackass. He thought that even if Bella was in the wrong, I needed to open the lines of communication otherwise I would never get her back. My only problem with this was that I wasn't sure I wanted her back if nothing was going to change. We would just be going through the same routine and that was the last thing I wanted. After the conversations with Ben and my mom, everything was still up in the air and I didn't know what to do.

"Everything okay in there, Mom?"I shouted out as Alice laughed at the show on the TV and my mom peeked her head out from the kitchen.

"Uh… it's fine, Edward."

Fuck, I hated that word.

"Do you need some help?"

"Nope, it's just macaroni and cheese; I think I can handle it. Oh, Alice… Jasper's mom called earlier and his uncle is in the hospital and his parents are going to go visit him, so we're watching him tonight. He'll be over soon."

"Cool," Alice said excitedly. "Well, not that his uncle is in the hospital, but I haven't seen him since yesterday, so that's cool." She jumped from the couch and ran up the stairs with a spring in her step. She clearly got her over excitable tendencies from our mom.

"Was I that bad when Bella used to come over?"

"You were worse," my mother said with a gentle laugh before she stopped and became suddenly reflective. Rather than dwell further on my past with Bella, I turned back towards the TV and grabbed the remote. I quickly started flipping through the channels as I found myself wondering what the hell I was doing just sitting here on the couch. What the hell did I usually do when I was bored as fuck?

Oh right, I would be hanging out with Bella. We'd be watching shitty movies and making fun of the craptastic acting, or we would be making fun of our classmates and the childish things some of them tended to do. We'd watch classic movies and she'd let me pick them apart, being way to analytical about everything or we'd watching lame ass videos on YouTube of dogs sleeping and then running into walls when they woke up. We wasted time, but we did it together. Right now, as I contemplated going for a run to relieve some tension, I sorely missed wasting time with her.

However, thinking about our past led me to over-thinking everything, like I usually did. What if we couldn't get back together? Could I go back to being just her best friend, if that was all I could get from her? I wasn't sure that I could. After everything we had been though, all the heartache, I didn't know if I could handle just be her friend again. In the back of my mind I would always wonder 'what if?'

"Edward, welcome back," Jasper said thirty minutes later as he walked into the family room and sat down on the couch beside me. He draped his arm over the back of the couch and looked at me with a nod of his head. "So, I hear you have girl trouble."

"Where the hell did you hear that?"

"Your buddy Emmett. I ran into him at the diner this morning. I was having breakfast, pancakes. I guess that's beside the point. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"You're eight. What kind of wisdom could you give me and why are you talking like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're not eight."

"I'm not eight anymore. I'm nine, I had my birthday a few weeks ago."

"Anyways…"

"So, you wanna talk about your girl issues?"

"Not with you."

"You should talk to someone then. Bella would be a good option."

I turned and literally snarled at Jasper as he held up his hands in self defense. "Fine your mother pressured me into saying something the moment my folks dropped me off and Emmett might have told me to beat some sense into you when I saw him this morning too. When I told him that there was no way I could take you, he let me know that you hardly eat anymore and don't sleep, so I could probably get you in a headlock and you'd pass out." I looked at Jasper incredulously as he laid down his hands at his sides. "I wouldn't do it."

"Do what?"

"Beat you up. You look like someone's already done it. So what about some Halo? It will take your mind off that girl, right?" I sighed and gave up on arguing with him since it was clearly futile. Jasper fetched the controllers for my Xbox and we spent two hours playing together, with Alice interrupting often, and usually in different outfits. It was very odd.

Also odd was Jasper going on and on about his parents. His mother was a guidance counselor at the high school in Port Angeles and his dad was the town psychiatrist. Certainly explains why he was trying to talk some sense into me. The whole time we played the game, he rambled on about the benefits of honesty, being open minded and last but not least, he tried to talk to me about following my heart. Needless to say, when Alice showed up and wanted to know if Jasper wanted to play a board game with her, I was quick to pretend I had something else to do. The kid was way too old for his age all of a sudden.

I climbed the stairs to my room and curled up on my bed, watching shitty movie after shitty movie on TBS, stopping only to have dinner. The entire night was lonely and pathetic, but I couldn't bring myself to make a change. That was until I found myself face to face with Bella at the diner the next day.

Thanksgiving, as we had known it for the past several years, had effectively been cancelled. It had been a tradition with the Swan and Cullen families to get together and celebrate. Renee always claimed to bake a pie and my mother acted like her bean casserole and sweet potatoes were homemade, but we all knew it came from the diner. Since the usual dysfunctional fun was called off due to Bella and I's breakup, I found myself heading to the diner to pick up the usual items for our holiday dinner.

Of course, I hadn't expected to walk into Bella when I got there. Then again, my mother had forced me to go for her, insisting she was elbows deep in the stuffing she was attempting to make. The moment I saw the back of Bella's head, I instantly assumed we had been set up. I could picture our mothers cackling over their mojitos as I tried not to stare at Bella but found it so fucking hard. _'Let's send them to the diner. They can hardly escape there unscathed.' _They would giggle incessantly and then drink more as they plotted ways to reunite us.

I shook the thought from my head, as I wondered if they could truly be so manipulative. Then again, knowing Renee the way I did, through all of Bella's embarrassing stories, I realized that I was wrong. They could be downright evil if the situation necessitated it.

Mary noticed me waiting and waved briefly, acknowledging that I had arrived for my pickup as I saw Bella turn around and glance at me. There was a weird kind of head nod thing that she was doing, and I responded in kind, but the look on her face clearly one of regret and sadness. My heart literally jumped out of my chest as I watched her move off the stool she was sitting on. She was going to come and talk to me… coming to the diner might not have been such a bad thing after all.

That was until the bell rang above the door and I heard the irritating voice of Jessica Stanley behind me. "Oh my god, Edward!" she gushed as she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. It literally felt like if she squeezed just a little bit more, I'd crumple up into a heap on the floor and die due to lack of oxygen. It was suffocating. Of course, it didn't help matters that all I wanted to do was talk to Bella, even if just for a few minutes.

Jessica let me out of her over perfumed grasp and took a step back. "This is so awesome. I was hoping I would run into you. How is UW?"

"It's good, you know? I live with Emmett, so that's a bit of a challenge. My classes are good and stuff though." My eyes darted from Jessica's tanned face to Bella and Jessica followed, her face lighting up when she saw Bella sitting there.

"Wait… I thought you two were together? At least that was the rumor going around town in the summer," Jessica said rapidly as she motioned between Bella and I like she was one of the models on The Price is Right.

"It's complicated," Bella said, her voice tense and anxious. I watched her eyes as the moved across the diner, focusing on anything but me and Jessica. She clearly didn't want to discuss our shittastic romantic situation with the town gossip.

"Complicated like… one of you cheated on the other or complicated like you guys weren't actually dating?"

"Neither," Bella replied as Jessica put her hand on her hip and began alternating her glare between Bella and me. She looked like she was trying to crack some sort of mystery, but I was fairly certain if she kept it up, her head would explode. As appealing as that image would have been six months ago, Jessica Stanley wasn't something I cared to think about anymore.

"No cheating huh?"

"No," Bella snapped as her eyes met mine and I could see she was dead serious. Yeah, I had accused her of sleeping with Liam, but I had been a little bit furious at the time. I'm still pissed that she was always picking him over me, but seeing as we were both too stubborn to sit down and hash out our problems, like everyone said we should, we were at a stalemate.

"I bet Edward had a lot of girls flirting with him huh?"

"You could say that," Bella said, eying me suspiciously. Surely she couldn't have been thinking about Claire. She was hardly a threat to our relationship.

"Oh and you had no guys flirting with you? Liam did a lot more than flirting, Bella."

"Ooh… who's Liam?"

"A complete fucking asshole who…"

"You know what? I don't want to fucking argue about this in the middle of the diner. It's your irrational responses like this that remind me why we haven't talked in weeks."

"Wait… what? You aren't even talking? You guys were meant to be together. I mean, I tried desperately to get you to date me, Edward. Half the damn town knows that, but everyone knew you guys were meant to be. So you guys finally get things going only to have it go downhill so quickly? Really? I think this is one of the signs of the apocalypse. You did start dating right? I'm not hallucinating?"

"Fuck Jessica, could you be more insensitive?" Bella snapped as Mary showed up with her brown paper bag filled with diner goodies and handed it to her. Bella slid a twenty dollar bill across the counter and stormed her way out the front door of the diner.

"Yes, Bella and I dated. No, we are currently not dating and as a pre-emptive strike, no I don't want to date you." I ran out the front door of the diner, desperate to find Bella, but all I managed to find at that point was the taillights of her mom's Toyota as she drove out of sight.

Happy Fucking Thanksgiving.


	26. Momentum

**CPW: I have a headache, let's just post?**

**Risbee: That's fine with me, but we should remind people about the golden lemon awards. We are nominated for Best Car Fuck after all.**

**CPW: Oh yeah, voting ends on the 30th, so rush over to http : / bit . ly / glvote (remove the spaces people!)**

**Risbee: and CPW is nominated with Flightlessbird11 for best dirty talk for Maybe I'm Falling For You**

**CPW: And there's that.**

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight; however CPW just got home from Ribfest and I got home from my husband's high school reunion. Take pity on us. LOL**

**EPOV**

Two days after Thanksgiving break ended, I found myself back in my dorm room, tossing a ball into the air as I lay on top of my bed. Emmett was out, as per usual, with Rosalie and they were doing a piss poor job of hiding the fact that they were dating. I was literally stewing in my own misery and it sucked.

I hadn't seen Bella during the rest of my time in Forks. I was tempted a few times to head over to her parents' house to talk to her, but then I began thinking about everything that had gone down between us and I would get angry again. If I was Bruce Banner, I'd spend all my time transformed into the Hulk and breaking shit. So far, the only thing broken was my heart.

On Saturday night before I was due to head back to school my mother called me down to the living room and proceeded to try and talk some sense into me. "Charlie is driving Bella back to school tomorrow, but don't you think it would be better if you offered?"

"She'll say no."

"How do you know that?"

"I know her, Mom. She may not love me anymore, but I know how stubborn she can be. Why waste both of our time with a stupid phone call that will piss both of us off?"

"And how do you know she doesn't love you, Edward?"

"She just doesn't mom. I saw her on Thursday at the Diner and you didn't, so you can't act like you know something I don't. She didn't… Bella didn't even look at me like she used to. She didn't look happy at all," I admitted remorsefully as my mother sat down beside me on the couch and reached for my hand, trying to be sympathetic.

"What if I did know something that you didn't… would it make a difference?"

"To be honest, the only thing I want right now is an apology and I don't think I am going to get that any time soon. So whatever it is you want to tell me, just keep it to yourself, alright?" I let out a sigh as my mother squeezed my hand tightly. When I looked up, my mother had such a sad look to her face that I felt like crap. I had failed her and I hated it. All she ever really wanted was my happiness, and I had it… and literally threw it away.

"Bella is hurting just as much as you are."

"Then why isn't she talking to me?" I questioned as my voice choked slightly and tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

"She's confused and doesn't know what to do. I know how it feels. I've been there Edward."

"I tried mom, I really did. Sure, I over reacted when we broke up, but every time I've attempted to talk to her, it has been one screw up after another. I'm on the verge of giving up completely." Esme let out a slight gasp as her eyes locked on mine, which were telling her that I was serious about it all.

"Don't give up."

"I think it's just not the right time for us. Maybe in a few years, when we've both matured, we can try again or something. But right now, I don't think it's good for either of us to be together. Even though I really hate to say it, I think we were just better off as friends." Okay, so it really hurt to say that, especially considering I didn't actually believe it, but after spending my entire Thanksgiving break basically ignoring my family and hiding away in my room, , I decided I needed to do something… anything.

So on Sunday morning I drove back to school with just Emmett, and I saw Chief Swan drop Bella off at school a little later in the day as I was crossing the quad to go to the school store. I felt like shit as I watched her walk up with her head down as she gave him a hug before he got back into her mom's Toyota and drove away. She looked so alone as she went into the dorms and I was tempted to go help her with her bags before I realized that she would probably yell at me for interfering in her independence. Instead, I continued on my way and did my best not to think about her as I went to pick up a book my history of film teacher emailed to us would be a great resource for the rest of the semester.

Of course, a hell of a lot happened in the time I was in the store, which was why I was lying on my bed, tossing the ball and wishing like hell that Emmett would come back. When seven o'clock rolled around, I was relieved when he walked in the door since I was both hungry and confused.

"You wanna go to the HUB for dinner?" he asked as he grabbed his jacket from his closet and looked at me impatiently.

"I need your help."

"Can I provide this help over dinner, because I'm really fucking starving? Rosalie and I worked up an appetite," Emmett said with a wink as I fought the urge to throw up.

"You guys are doing a shitty job of hiding this relationship."

"I know, but I can't resist her man. It's like… it's like I'm a fat kid and she's an all you can eat buffet. Take that anyway you want to by the way."

"Ok, enough." I pulled my jacket off of the back of my desk chair and followed him out the door. As we walked to the HUB, I opened up to Emmett about everything that had happened at thebookstore a few hours earlier.

_When I walked into the store, I head for the film section, immediately looking for the book in question. If I was being honest, I just wanted to get in and out. The quicker I was out of the store with the book, the happier I would be._

_Unfortunately for me, they appeared to be all out, so I headed to the main desk to inquire if they had any elsewhere, and that was when I met her. "Hi there, can I help you find something?" she asked sweetly, her voice sounding very delicate._

"_Yeah, I'm looking for A History of Narrative Film by David A. Cook. I checked the shelves, but came up empty handed."_

"_Well, that's a shame. Let's see what we can do for you." Lucy, as her nametag informed me, began typing away furiously on her computer her face contorting with confusion as she pushed some of her fair hair behind her ear. "So, it says on our system that I have a few copies left. Are you sure they aren't on the shelves?"_

"_Well, I have had a rough weekend, it's very possible I missed them," I said with a sigh, even though I didn't think I had missed anything. I looked, three times in fact, and found nothing by David A. Cook._

"_Follow me, let's go check it out," Lucy said as she stood from her seat and I was surprised to see how tall she was. Bella was short, like 5'4", but Lucy was much closer to my height and stood just a bit under my 6'2". I followed her as she walked from behind the counter and led me back to the area I had just come from. "Cook right?" I nodded. "I have another Cooks here in film studies, but not him. Come with me, let's go check inventory."_

_I let out a sigh, feeling a bit frustrated that we couldn't find the damn book because I would have just ordered it from Barnes and Noble online if I knew it was going to be such a hassle. "So, I'm Lucy, by the way," she said genuinely as she pushed open the back doors to the store and we stepped into the stock room. _

"_Yeah, I noticed… on your name tag."_

"_Yeah, but you clearly don't have a nametag, so do I get to guess your name?"_

"_I'm Edward."_

"_It's nice to meet you, Edward. I didn't peg you for a film student if I am being honest. Are you picking this up for your girlfriend?"_

"_Uh… no. I don't have a girlfriend." I hesitated for a moment as I said it, because it stung a little bit more than I expected it to. Then again, it was the truth. "You have me curious as to what you thought my major was."_

"_You look like one of those cute medical students or something." I snorted loudly as Lucy raised her eye brows at me in confusion. _

"_Oh sorry, my father is a doctor so it's funny you mentioned medicine. I'm also a freshman, so you have my age wrong too."_

"_Damn, and here I thought you were some sort of Doogie Howser type." Lucy stared at me a beat longer than necessary as we stopped in front of a large box from the publishing firm who issued the book I was looking for. We both bent down at the same time as Lucy then pulled the box open and we began to sort through it. _

_My eyes lit up excitedly when I saw the cover I was looking for and Lucy and I both reached down at the same time, my hand covering hers roughly as I grasped both the book and her. She gasped softly and turned her face to mine, staring at me intently. "Do you want to go have dinner?" Lucy asked, surprising both of us._

"_Uh… tonight?"_

"_No… well… soon, but not necessarily tonight. I have to work until eight. You can tell me more about being a freshman film student and I can tell you about being a psychology major, or we can talk about anything other than school. It's your call," she stammered, and I could tell Lucy was nervous and it was a bit endearing. "Or you can say no and crush me."_

_Lucy and I both laughed softly at her comment as I stood up and she handed me the book. I stared at it for what seemed like forever before finally responding to her. "How about Thursday night? Do you work then?"_

"_No, I'm off Thursday. It sounds good. I live off campus… are you in the dorms?"_

"_Yeah, but uh… how about I meet you somewhere?" Suddenly, the date didn't seem like such a good idea. It would probably hurt Bella's feelings to know I was going out with someone else and if she saw us together at the dorm, it would be even worse. But the look on Lucy's face was one of pure excitement, so even though I had just met her, I couldn't just reject her. I'd go on one date and that would be it. Even if I liked her, I knew my heart belonged to Bella and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. Well… hurt her more than I already had._

"_Give me your phone," Lucy said as she extended her hand. "I'll put my number in, and you can call me when you know what time and where you want to meet. Does that work for you, Edward?"_

"_Yeah… sure. I'll probably call you tomorrow or something, alright?"_

"_Perfect. Now let's go ring in your purchase." I followed Lucy back to the front of the store and she processed my sale with a huge grin on her face before waving sweetly as I walked out, eight bucks lighter and feeling like shit. _

"Why the hell would I accept a date from another girl when I was hung up on Bella?"

"You wanna know why, jackass?" Emmett questioned me after we found seats at the HUB and began to eat the sandwiches we got from Subway. "Simple, it's because you want Bella to hurt the same way you did when you thought she was hooking up with Liam."

"This isn't some sort of revenge date or whatever you think it is. Lucy was nice and asked me out. She was pretty, smart and I am attracted to her. I want to go out with her."

"No, you want to go out with Bella, but you're settling for Lucy." I took a huge bite of my sandwich as Emmett stared me down. "All during the car ride back here, you talked only about your parents meddling in your relationship, how you saw Bella and the diner and how you wanted to see more of her. That doesn't sound to me like a guy who is ready to date."

"But I am… I have to be."

"It's only been a month Edward. You spent years fawning over Bella while hiding your love for her. That shit doesn't just go away overnight."

"Thanks, I think I know that," I replied with a sigh as Emmett groaned, knowing full well I wasn't agreeing with him. "I still have feelings for her. Fuck, I will probably always have feelings for her, but I can't let it rule my life. I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I need to move on and Lucy is the first step to doing that."

"This whole thing is going to backfire in your face, Edward. I can feel it."

I steered Emmett onto a whole new conversation about the Seahawks and their season, something I knew he was very interested in, as we continued eating. Of course, I didn't listen to a word of his rant as I was busy focusing on the fucked up situation I had found myself in. Why did I accept the date? Why couldn't I just talk to Bella and sort everything out? When we were best friends we could talk to each other about virtually everything, there were some things that were sacred after all, but at least we talked. All I wanted was the chance to speak to her and see for sure that we were over.

And I was about to get the chance.

"Um… dude," Emmett said with a mouthful of his cold cut combo. "Bella's here with Rosalie. Oh shit, and they are coming right towards us. Try to look like you didn't just make a date with some hot blonde girl." I brushed my hands over my face and groaned, feeling worse because that was exactly what I had done.

"Hey boys, I'm surprised to see you out so late," Rosalie said as she winked at Emmett and Bella just stood nervously, her eyes darting back and forth between Emmett and me.

"Well, I worked up an appetite this afternoon," Emmett replied as I fought the urge to shove my fingers down my throat and puke. "How was your thanksgiving, Rosalie? Did you have a nice time?"

"Oh shut up with the asinine chit chat. You guys don't have to pretend in front of Edward and me, because we already know you guys are the worst liars on the face of the earth. Can we just get our Chinese and go, Rose?" Bella replied, her voice sounding rough and tired.

"Uh… before you go, can we talk for a few minutes?" I asked as Bella perked up a little bit and nodded her head.

However, God apparently hated my guts because at that exact moment, as I stood up from my seat, Lucy showed up, bouncing happily as she stopped in front of me. "Hey… I just wanted to say that I'm looking forward to our date on Thursday night. Call me." Then she walked away as I closed my eyes and prayed that _that_ hadn't just happened.

When I opened my eyes again, only seconds later, Bella was already darting out of the HUB, her loud sobs filling the air. "What the fuck have you done now, Cullen?" Rosalie shouted at me as she put her hands on her hips and looked down on me with pure fury in her eyes. "I finally got that girl to stop crying after her horrific Thanksgiving, and you make plans to go out on a date with someone else and then rub it in her face."

"I didn't mean to… I mean… I wanted to ask her… fuck!"

"You most certainly are fucked. Emmett, get us some Chinese for dinner and bring it back to my room. I'm gonna go find Bella and hopefully she won't be crying like a mad woman again." Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me and then turned on her heel and ran out of the HUB, desperate to find Bella.

"Well, I guess you have your answer about how Bella feels about your date huh?"

Thursday Night, as I sat at a small diner near Pike's Market, I felt like I was going to be sick. I had texted Lucy on Monday afternoon and suggested this place, far away from campus, and she seemed just as excited as before. Unfortunately, I was not.

Rosalie told me on Monday that she spent the night with Bella and Siobhan, both girls consoling Bella who was shocked I had decided to go on a date with someone else so early after our breakup. Rosalie kept telling me that Bella wasn't over me, and though I insisted to Rose that it was Bella's fault that we weren't talking, I knew I was to blame too. I could have chased after her on Sunday night after the Lucy debacle, but I didn't.

"Have you been waiting long?" Lucy inquired with a sense of excitement as she sat down across from me, a huge smile covering her face. It was interesting to see how different she looked in comparison to how she was at work. Though she still looked attractive, her hair was pulled up tightly into an ugly up do thing and she had way too much makeup on. I felt like she was trying to impress me, and failing miserably.

"Just a few minutes. I wasn't sure how traffic was going to be, so I left campus a bit early to be safe."

"Well, wasn't that sweet of you. I like a guy who is on time." I glanced at my watch and noticed she was five minutes late. Odd that she couldn't extend me the same courtesy. "Interesting choice of restaurant. I've never been here and I've lived in Seattle for four years."

"Oh, so you're a senior?"

"Uh no… I'm a junior, but I had a rough go of it my first year."

"Really?" I inquired, actually interested in what she had to say, as our waitress appeared and took our drink order. I watched her pale blue eyes as she examined the menu and had a pang of regret as I realized how much I missed looking into Bella' soulful brown eyes all the time. She had gorgeous eyes, the perfect shape and color and when I looked at her, I felt like I could see forever with. Hell, until a month ago, I did see forever with her.

"Yeah, I was dating this guy and things just sorta got out of hand," she said as she closed the menu and then clasped her hands in front of her. "Things were just messy and they got a bit ugly. There may have been restraining orders and charges filed."

"You had to issue a restraining order against him? What on earth did he do?" I asked, not hiding the shock in my voice.

"Actually, it was the other way around. He pressed charges against me for vandalism and breaking and entering. Then when I tried to talk to him about his accusations, he filed the restraining order. It's still in effect oddly enough, but he moved from Seattle and went to Yale instead."

"Wow, from UW to Yale, there's a big move."

"Well, his family is from the East Coast and he got a job offer teaching at Yale, so it made sense, you know? Plus, his wife was all over him to leave Seattle and get away from me, the stupid bitch." My mouth dropped open in complete surprise. Lucy had dated one of her professors, who filed charges and a restraining order against her, and he was married. What in the fuck was going on? "I swear things are all normal now though. I have one more year of community service to do, but then it's all done."

"Oh… okay then."

Our waitress came back shortly after Lucy's big bombshell was dropped and took our order. The rest of the date went… well, it went pretty much like I expected it to once I found out who she really was. Lucy talked all through dinner, venting to me about her past liaison with her former abnormal psych professor or complaining about her family disowning her back when all the drama went down. I had to admit, I couldn't blame them really.

When dinner was over, I honestly couldn't wait to get the hell away from her. However, Lucy had other plans. As we stood in the parking lot of the diner, saying our good nights, she tried her best to not be… well… crazy. "Why don't you come over for a drink?"

"I don't drink. I'm eighteen remember?"

"I can make hot cocoa."

"I actually have an early class in the morning, so I think it would be best if I headed home."

Suddenly Lucy stalked towards me as I reached my car and as I turned around, she pressed her hands against the roof on either side of my head, holding me in place around her. "You know, I've never done it in a Volvo."

"I'm shocked," I said sarcastically as I clenched my teeth. If I was having sex with anyone in my car, it was going to be Bella. Of course, in my head I was also assuming Lucy had fucked someone in virtually every make and model of car, SUV and light truck known to man. "So… dinner was nice."

"Are you sure I can't convince you to come over. I'm only a few blocks from here," Lucy said suggestively a she trailed her finger down the chest of my coat and I thanked god that the jacket was heavy enough that I couldn't feel it. "I have toys."

"Like board games or Mr. Potato Head?"

"No Edward, like vibrators, paddles and sex swings. Don't act like you aren't interested… all men are, baby. Sure, my court-ordered sex therapist wouldn't approve, but you are so fucking gorgeous, Edward. I'll deal with the repercussions."

"Okay, this was fun and all but I really need to go," I stammered in embarrassment and confusion as I pushed Lucy out of the way and shoved my key into the lock as I tried to open the door.

"Edward… come on… I can make all your dreams come true. I'll barely spank you with the paddle, if you're worried."

"Uh no. No paddles, no sex and definitely no more Lucy. This was interesting and all, and good luck with your community service and sex therapy, but I … I love someone else and this was just so fucking stupid."

Without another word, I got into the car, quickly locking the doors and sped off into the night, feeling violated just from her words alone. This awkward silence thing between Bella and I needed to end… _now!_

**BPOV**

I felt numb. I felt completely, utterly and totally numb. I felt worse than numb actually, but couldn't think of the right words to describe it.

Edward was going on a date.

You know what? Forget numb. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, kicked in the throat and run over by an eighteen-wheeler followed by a steam-roller. I couldn't wrap my head around it at all. I mean, I knew we were broken up and if he wanted to date other people, then that was his choice, but I just couldn't imagine him seeing somebody else, much less seeing someone so fucking soon.

Well, I guess that answered my question about whether or not he missed me too. To think, I'd spent days trying to figure out how to work things out with him and here he wastes no time. The joke was on me this entire time, too bad I can't get these past however many days back.

Unlike my trip from UW to Forks with Renee, the ride from Forks to UW with Charlie was silent. He dialed the radio to NPR and we listened to the soothing droning of somebody… did they even have names? I couldn't tell you. I just knew it wasn't Delilah and for that I was thankful. Though speaking of Delilah, I did get find it hilarious that she played an Avril Lavigne song – yeah, take that you punk chick wannabe. You're on fucking Delilah. _Snort_.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said that the trip with Charlie was silent. We maybe exchanged ten words, fifteen at the most, but I honestly didn't expect any different. With all the yammering and scheming Renee had done over the past week, I think we were both happy to get away from the chaos. And this way Renee and Esme could get together and talk about the 'Edward and Bella situation' because really, we both knew it was inevitable. At one point on Thanksgiving Day, I found Renee huddled in the downstairs coat closet talking on the phone, though she claimed she was looking for the cranberry sauce and got lost. Uh huh, right. I don't know about you, but I confused the pantry and the closet all the time… especially when I had my phone in my hand.

For three hours I got to think and figure out what I wanted to do, and first on my list was talking to Edward. I missed him. A lot. Even if we decided that we weren't meant to be together in a romantic relationship, I missed being able to talk to him as my friend. I was pretty certain that we'd never get back to where we were before, well before London I guess, but I was willing to take what I could get.

There were so many times that I wanted to call him while we were home, so many times I wanted to get in Renee's car and drive over to his house. Okay, so I may have driven by the Cullen's house whenever I had the opportunity, but I never stopped and got out of the car. Not out of desire, but because I was absolute chicken shit.

At the diner, when we made eye contact, it felt so good. So right and so normal, then of course Jessica had to rub herself all over him and open her mouth. Hearing him explain our situation to her had stung and when even _she_ acknowledged that we were meant to be together, it was like pouring salt in my wounds. I couldn't stay and listen to it anymore and as much as I wanted to pull her off of him and kiss him until we were both gasping for air, I knew that wasn't an option, so I left.

Thanksgiving dinner sucked.

We pulled up to the dorms and I told Charlie he didn't even have to get out of the car. I mean, I was hardly home for a week and I'd be back in a few more for Christmas. I was pretty sure I could handle my few bags, you know, since I was all independent and shit.

I was beginning to hate that word.

After getting my things out of the trunk, I walked around to the driver's side of the car to give Charlie a big hug. I laughed when his moustache tickled my ear and wished him good luck with Renee, promising him relief the next time I was home.

"I'll be home in a few weeks, Dad. Get her involved with something to keep her busy – get her to wrap presents at the Assisted Living center or something. Oooh, tangle up all the Christmas ribbon in the bin in the closet. That will keep her occupied for a few days at least." I couldn't help but laugh at the vision of Renee playing with a big ball of tangled ribbon, like a cat. Sweet jeebus, I needed some sleep or food or something. I was losing my mind.

"Don't you worry about me little girl, I've been around a few blocks with your mom and I have some tricks up my sleeve. We'll be just fine. You just take care of yourself and don't worry too much. Get through those exams and be happy."

Be happy… I wasn't sure I knew what that was anymore, but I wanted to find out.

Before he could see the tears I was trying to keep from spilling over, I nodded and kissed his forehead. I pulled myself back out of the window and picked up my bags, hitting the top of the car and walking towards the door to the dorm. I needed to get to my room and regroup and figure out my strategy. I was determined to fix this situation, because it sucked and I was tired of it.

When I got to my room, I saw a piece of paper taped to the door and my heart skipped a few beats hoping that maybe… just maybe, it was from Edward. Instead, it was from Liam asking if I wanted to meet for coffee and talk. Talk about disappointment. Part of me wanted to rip the whole thing in itty bitty tiny pieces and burn it in the sink, but then I thought better of it considering UW probably frowned upon having fires in their bathrooms. Besides, I didn't need to project my problems on him since he wasn't in the relationship. I needed to get beyond it so I just rolled my eyes and refocused on getting things right in my world, and by world, I meant Edward.

The first thing I saw after I closed the door to my room was the box of Edward's stuff under my bed. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment or maybe I was truly sick in the head, but for whatever reason, I thought now would be a good time to go through it and start weeding out what I wanted to keep, what I wanted to toss and what I wanted to give back.

_Keep._

_Keep._

_Keep._

_Toss… no… keep._

_Keep. _

_Keep._

By this point the tears were flowing, but I was smiling, thinking about all the memories we shared and all the good times we had. I rubbed at my hip where my tattoo was and smiled again, since there was a little piece of him always with me. The tattoo had healed up nicely and I managed to keep it hidden over the break, so I was more than a little excited about it.

Renee knew nothing about it and other than me and the tattoo artist, Angela was still the only other person who had seen it. Siobhan had been busy with schoolwork and keeping odd hours, so even she didn't know about it. Although Edward knew about it he still hadn't seen it, so it was like my secret, my permanent link to him that nobody could ever take away. A little something that I could never sort into a pile, that I could never give back to him to keep, and would always remind me of him.

I snorted to myself when I looked down and saw that I had sorted the pile of his stuff into…yup, just one pile. Yeah, not the most productive project ever but it just reaffirmed my decision to try and work things out.

Without even realizing what I was doing, I found myself holding his Forks baseball shirt up to my chest. Give this back? Hell no, it was mine forever. I pulled off my sweater and pulled the shirt on, the soft worn material caressing my skin and feeling like an old familiar friend. I pulled it up at the neck and smelled it and even though it has been with me for years, there was still a hint of Edward. I couldn't describe it, but it still smelled like grass and leather and Edward.

I missed him. Dear sweet lord, I missed him so much.

A fresh round of tears racked through my body and I curled up fetal on my bed, the movement of my body as I sobbed caused all the things from the piles on my bed to slowly cave in until I was literally immersed in my memories, and that's where Rosalie found me.

"Shhhhh. Bella, take some deep breaths. This isn't healthy."

I looked over at her, not caring at all that my nose was running, my face was splotchy and my bedroom looked like I needed to be on an episode of Hoarders. Who was she to tell me what was and wasn't healthy 'Miss I'm secretly dating one of my students."

"How did you get in here?" I knew good and well that I had locked the door behind me so that I'd have some warning before Siobhan came in. I didn't want her to catch me upset. Again.

"I have a key to all the rooms on the hall. You know, to check for alcohol and pot and shit. Because I'm such a rules girl you know."

"Riiight, and that's why you're fucking Emmett." I don't know why I was mad at her, but I was. She had her relationship in check and me… well I couldn't even wear a t-shirt without becoming hysterical. But what she and Emmett had… Damn, now thinking of Emmett reminded me about Edward and the tears came again.

"We'll discuss my relationship issues later but for now, you have to calm down, Bella. The girls next door called me when they heard your caterwauling. They thought a wolverine or monkey or something had been trapped in here over break. Now, dry your eyes, wash your face and take a shower. Get yourself cleaned up and come find me when you're done. We're going to go grab some food and you're going to spill it."

"I don't want to go ge…"

"Right now, I don't care what you want. I'm hungry and I'm your RA and you have to do what I say. You have no choice." She stuck her tongue out at me and walked out the door and I may or may not have flipped her off when her back was turned. Okay, so I did but I also knew she was right. I couldn't spend the rest of the semester wallowing in my misery, not if I wanted to make an effort to fix things.

And I wanted to fix them. I did, I did, I did.

I quickly cleaned up the mess from my bed and put the Forks t-shirt in my drawer to wear later. It was step in the right direction, because I knew couldn't hide from my issues any longer and I had to start facing them head on. Putting everything back in that box wasn't doing anything but getting them out of sight. They'd still be there until I decided what to do with them.

Admittedly, the shower felt fantastic and I grumbled a little bit more knowing that Rosalie was right. Siobhan still wasn't back yet from being away with one of my classmates at her parents place for the holiday, so after I showered I threw on some jeans and a cute top. The shirt had been part of Renee's hopeless attempt to bribe me with in an effort t get me to ride back to school with Edward. Obviously, I came back to campus with Charlie, but I took the shirt anyway.

I took the time to fix my hair and I even put on a little bit of make-up just in case we ran into the boys somewhere. At least, I hoped we would. Once I was satisfied with my appearance, I scribbled a note for Siobhan letting her know where we were going on and that she could text me if she wanted me to bring her some food. I was feeling a bit generous and lord knows I owed her for everything she had done for me lately. The girl was crazy, but she was a good soul. Huh, I seemed to have lots of people like that in my life. Renee… Angela… Nettie… Siobhan… I wonder what that says about me.

Rosalie was waiting for me in the lobby and nodded approvingly when I came into view.

"Much better. You don't look like death and you're not wailing like a banshee."

You know, honestly I was getting a little fed up with everybody criticizing how I cried. Who looks good when they're upset? Really? I was just getting ready to say something about it too when she continued.

"So… a little birdie filled me in on where Emmett and Edward are right now." She paused and looked at me for a second, almost as if she was waiting for me to object. When I didn't, the smile on her face reminded me of Mr. Burns and I almost expected her to tap her finger tips together and bust out with an 'excelllent'. "Based on how you look, I'm assuming that you wouldn't mind if we just happened to run into them. I was going to suggest eating somewhere off campus, but suddenly I'm in the mood for the HUB. Huh, never thought I'd ever say that."

I should have objected.

I should have turned around when I saw Edward and Emmett having what appeared to be a serious discussion and the panicked look on Emmett's face as we neared their table.

I should have been suspicious when Emmett and Rosalie put on their pathetic attempt at being surprised to see each other. Their innuendos made me a little bit nauseous and I didn't ever need to hear anything about Emmett working up an appetite.

"Oh shut up with the asinine chit chat. You guys don't have to pretend in front of Edward and me, because we already know you guys are the worst liars on the face of the earth. Can we just get our Chinese and go, Rose?" I was really starting to feel uncomfortable and suddenly I had this incredible urge to leave. It was getting harder to breathe and it felt like my bra was too tight.

I should have paid attention to the red flags that started waving frantically in front of my face when Edward asked if we could talk for a few minutes. Instead, I falsely assumed that maybe he wanted to try and work things out. God, I was such a dumbass.

If only I had trusted my instinct and gotten out of there, maybe just maybe I would have been prepared for the shock of my life when this cute girl who looked way too put together… and older… announced that she was looking forward to their date.

I just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole, because I couldn't imagine feeling any worse than I did at that moment. I felt utterly destroyed.

Did Rosalie and Emmett know about it too? Was this a big joke on their part? I know I fucked up and screwed over Edward, but was this just one evil way of getting back at me and making me feel worse, because if so, then mission accomplished.

I had to get out of there and I didn't want any explanation from anybody. I took off running and didn't look back when I heard Rosalie yelling my name outside. I didn't look back when I knocked over some poor girl saying goodbye to her parents at the dorm, though I did apologize as I passed them. I didn't stop until I was on my bed and under my covers.

Then I did the unthinkable. I called Liam and I accepted his invitation for coffee.

If Edward was ready to move on, then there was obviously no reason for me to expect him to come knocking on my door trying to get back together, right? I didn't particularly want to go anywhere with Liam, but who else was there? Emmett? Rosalie… though I'm sure Emmett wouldn't mind? But, just no.

I wasn't exactly the type to ask a random guy out and it wasn't like I had them beating down my door to get to me to begin with. Besides, I was hardly in the mood to be all romantic and shit with another guy. I wanted Edward. He just didn't want me back. I just needed somebody to be my friend and while Liam was definitely not my first choice, at this point I felt like he was my only choice.

"I have to admit that I'm a little shocked that you called me, Bella. Happy, but shocked." Liam held the door open for me on Thursday night as we walked inside Thai Tom. Thankfully he hadn't eaten dinner yet and was more than willing to meet me when I said that while coffee was fine, I was starving and would rather get away from campus for a bit.

"Well, you know. I ate all this food at Thanksgiving and I'm just not ready to go back to existing on Oodles of Noodles and HUB food just yet, ya know? Besides, there's going to come a time when I can't afford to eat like this." I tried to joke, but it hurt to smile. Still, it wasn't fair to him for me to be in a bitchy mood.

"You've got quite a ways to go before you have to start worrying about anything like that. You're a beautiful girl, Bella. Inside and especially out." He walked passed me to pull out my chair and… did he just brush up against my ass on purpose? I looked at him for a second, but he was already moving around to the other side of the table. I decided that it was accidental, so I relaxed a little bit.

"Well, I meant when I was on my own and had my own bills, after we graduate and can't call up our parents to tell them we need money."

"That's a concern for you, really? I don't give money a second thought and you shouldn't either. If you need anything, just let me know. I'll give you anything you need."

Um, okay. This was just a little bit creepy, but Liam had always been one to be a little on the _eh_-side, so again I just gave him the benefit of the doubt. We'd finish our dinner, I'd use him as a distraction and then I'd be home to lick my wounds and consider transferring to a different University across the country. That was doable, right?

I picked up the menu to look it over, though I always ordered the same thing, Pad Se Ew with Chicken. It was the only Thai food I ate and Edward always made fun of me and said I was missing out on life because I was scared to try new things.

_Yeah, well look at me now, asshole. Try this._

The waitress came over to take our drink orders and when Liam made the comment that his side of the table was sticky, he asked if we could move to the booth over by the windows. There was no ass touching this time, but I did find it a little creepy that when he returned from washing his hands, he gestured for me to slide over and sat on the same side of the booth as me. Who does that?

It had to be for convenience, or at least that's what I was telling myself, but the red flags were starting to pile up a bit.

_Maybe we had to share a bowl of rice or something. _

_You know yours has noodles and you don't need rice._

_His thigh is touching me._

_Ewwwwww._

I slid over until my ass was halfway between the wall and the booth. I couldn't have been more obvious if I tried. My body language was literally screaming 'back off' and yet Liam was messing with his napkin, seemingly oblivious to his actions. Maybe he was just that way with everybody and I'd never noticed since we'd never been alone before.

_You liar. You were alone Halloween night_.

_Yeah, for two minutes and let's not bring that night up again, 'kay. I'm already miserable enough without being reminded me of what I was missing. Just shut the fuck up and let me get through this, then we'll have a big ol' pow-wow and you can tell me where I went wrong and what I should have done instead. _

_Deal._

Our food finally arrived and for the next few minutes, I actually managed to enjoy myself a little. Liam told me he talked to Randall over break and there was talk of us all meeting somewhere over the summer for a mini-reunion of sorts. I relished the idea of any reason not to go back home over the summer and risking awkwardness that was sure to surround Forks and my family, so I lost myself in the idea and made my fatal mistake.

"So you don't think Edward would have any problem with you going away for the weekend to meet up with your friends? I know how he doesn't like any of us."

"Edward's not an issue considering how he's going on a date with somebody else."

_Fuck. Why did I say that?_

"Oh, really?" Liam's voice dropped what seemed like an octave and when I looked over he was making this face that almost made him looking like he was in pain or possibly having an allergic reaction to his food.

"Are you okay?" I started looking around frantically trying to grab the attention of our waitress because somebody was going to have to call 911. I was praying to every god and deity possible that I wouldn't have to do CPR until the medics arrived.

"I've never been better actually, and if you play your cards right, we can both have a night to remember Bella." Then he leaned over and did the unthinkable… he motherfucking sniffed me.

I tried to steady my breath but with each second I spent with Liam, I found myself more and more uncomfortable. Our waitress came after we had finished dinner and took our plates, asking if we were interested in dessert.

"No, thanks," Liam said stoically as I narrowed my eyes at him. Of course I wanted dessert. Bella Swan had never turned down a dessert in her life and I wasn't about to start now. Just as I opened my mouth to say something though, Liam had turned and had pressed his lips hard against mine.

Holy mother of fuck… just… no!

I pushed against him and tried to get his thin lips off of my mouth just as his hand slide against my thigh and was moving between my legs, rubbing higher and higher towards the promise land.

Oh. My. God.

That was it. I thought back to every self-defense move Charlie Swan ever thought to teach me and every girl-power mantra that Renee ever subjected me to. Every maneuver I learned when my two best friends growing up were two stinky boys.

I pushed back against him again with all my might and he fell off the edge of the bench seat and onto the floor of the restaurant as all the patrons began looking at us. As I slid off the bench, he stood up and then I did something that felt really wonderful - I punched Liam.

Hard.

Often.

A few times in the jaw and the gut and then finally once in the nose, until I heard the tell-tale crack.

I left him crying, cursing and screaming about how he would need to get reconstructive surgery on his nose thanks to Edward and I both punching him there. However, all I did was smile from ear to ear.

I apologized to the waitress, left her enough money to cover the entire bill and walked out the door.

Fuck my life. Edward was right all along.

I walked out of the restaurant in a huff. It was cold and I was miserable, so I figured why not prolong the night and walk back to the dorm. I sure as hell wasn't going to ask Liam for a ride, in fact I was kinda hoping that his face was so swollen that he wouldn't be able to drive. That would serve him right for sticking his nose, his lips and his hands in places they most definitely did not belong.

Fuck him for pretending to be my friend.

Fuck him for causing all this shit in the first place.

Fuck him for making me trust him.

And fuck me… I had to tell Edward he was right. As much as I hated it, as much as I dreaded it, it had to be done.

The walk back to Mercer Hall never went faster. I swear it was like time travel, but without the Delorian and plutonium.

I got to his door and stood there for what seemed like forever, but was probably only a few minutes, trying to come up with some way to both eat crow and save face. I didn't want him to think it was some pathetic attempt to keep him from going on his date, but I wanted him to know that I was willing to acknowledge my mistake. He had made it perfectly clear that he was prepared to move on, but the only way I was able to do it was to get this closure. It was time to put on my big girl panties on and man up.

The knock didn't happen though. What if he had that girl in his room with him? I didn't hear any noise, but I also knew that he was capable of being quiet when necessary. Instead I unclipped the dry erase marker from the board and wrote a simple message on his door.

"You were right. I was wrong. I am sorry." Then I walked away.

Halfway down the hall I turned around and went back, wiping my message and any sign of my existence from his door. I couldn't do it, not yet, and certainly not via a dry erase board on his door.

He deserved better than that. Hell, he deserved better than me.

The days quickly turned into weeks and before I knew it, December was almost halfway done. Everyone around campus was excited about Christmas break, but I was stewing in self loathing. I had seen Edward a few times around campus and even tried to visit his room twice, but he was never there. Though on one visit Emmett told me in confidence that Edward only went out on one date with the girl we saw and then rebuffed her. I felt somewhat buoyed by this and after my class on Wednesday afternoon, I finally gathered enough courage to go talk to him. I wanted to sit down and hash out all of our issues and let Edward know that he was right, even if I felt like a complete idiot in the process.

As I walked up to his door, I was surprised to see is wide open as Emmett tried to talk to him, but Edward was frantic. "Listen, your parents said to stay here and they would call and let you know what was going on. There's no reason to get too bent out of shape."

"Too bent out of shape? Fuck you Emmett. You would do the same thing if you were in my shoes, so don't start with me. I'm going back to Forks right now."

Edward and Emmett both froze and looked at me standing in the doorway. "Uh… hi."

"Hi," Emmett said solemnly as Edward bent his head back down and continued to shove some jeans and sweaters into his bag.

"What's uh… what's going on here?"

"Edward is heading home."

"Are you dropping out?" I asked, my voice ripe with fear. It would really be karma if I finally showed up to talk to him, only to have him be leaving school forever.

"No. Alice was hurt in an accident. I'm going home. My family needs me."

I moved forward and reached out to Edward, my hand covering his and making him still completely. His entire body was tense, but I could feel him relaxing under my touch, which soothed both of us. It also gave me a small bit of hope, because I could sense that our electricity was still there… the current that always drew us to one another.

"His parents said to stay here, but he won't listen to reason. He's worried and not really in any shape to drive." I nodded at Emmett, who was gravely concerned for his friend and I did the only thing I could think to help both of them.

"I'm going with you, Edward."


	27. Drive

**Risbee: So… it turns out we don't have that much to discuss here today. It's sorta pathetic when you think about it.**

**CPW: Yeah, so get reading the chapter and then leave us a little review at the end. We think you may like us again**

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight; just an intense fascination to make the mom's do weird shit.**

**EPOV**

For the rest of my life, I will remember the phone call that came from my mother that fateful Wednesday afternoon in December. I had been enjoying lunch in the HUB with Emmett when my phone rang in my pocket and I fished it out, scanning the call display to make sure it wasn't Lucy who was calling.

My date with her had been horrible. In fact, horrible probably didn't do it justice. It was a fucking disaster of epic proportions and I spent the next few days avoiding the HUB and the bookstore, hoping like hell that I didn't run into her. She had made a few phone calls since I saw her last and left me very cryptic messages, but I deleted each one of them after Emmett had gotten his laughs in at her expense. He still thought it was hilarious that I had gone out with such a nutcase considering how safe I had been with the girls I had dated in the past. Not that there were that many, or any that were even memorable, with the exception of Bella.

However, the laughs stopped when I pressed 'talk' on the phone and said hi to my mother.

"_Edward, are you in class?"_

"_No Mom, I'm in the hub having a late lunch with Emmett."_

"_Hi Mrs. Cullen," Emmett announced loudly, with a mouthful of pizza._

"_Yes dear, tell Emmett I said hello. Umm… I have something to tell you Edward and it's very important that you don't get too upset." Well now, that was shifty. I scrunched up my forehead and pushed my food away as I urged my mother to continue. "Alice was in a car accident this afternoon."_

"_She was what?" I shouted as my words suddenly stumbled and my breathing became erratic. "How… just… how? Why wasn't she in school? She's supposed to be in school, right?"_

"_She was driving into Seattle with Jasper and his mother. Mrs. Whitlock had gotten tickets for the kids to see the Radio City Rockettes perform a Christmas thing in the city. Your dad and I gave them our blessing and you know how much Alice loves those dancers. They were going to do some Christmas shopping in the city too," my mother added as I heard her voice grow sadder the more she spoke. "On the way out of Forks the SUV they were driving in hit a patch of black ice and the car flipped over and landed in a ditch."_

_I gasped audibly and Emmett dropped the slice of pizza he was clutching and looked at me with concern. I waved him away with my hand and stood up, feeling the need to pace otherwise I would succumb to the urge to beat the shit out of something or someone, and even though Emmett was my best friend, I couldn't fathom he would appreciate it if I hit him. Especially considering how __**hard**__ I wanted to hit something._

"_How are they? How is Alice? What about Jasper and his mom?"_

"_Jasper has a few cuts and scrapes, but he's doing alright. His mom is considerably shaken up and she has a few broken ribs, but nothing else."_

"_And Alice? What's wrong with Ali, Mom?"_

"_Ali, cause she's so little, got the worse of it," my mom said with tears clear in her voice as I struggled to maintain some composure. "She's about to go into surgery right now. She fractured her arm in two places and they have to put some screws or something in. To be honest, I didn't pay much attention at this point since this is really your father's forte."_

"_I can't believe it. I'm coming home, Mom. I can miss a few days of classes, but I need to be there with you guys," I stated firmly as Emmett suddenly jumped up from his seat and joined my side, waiting expectantly._

"_Edward, I didn't call to guilt you into coming home. Stay for your classes. Your father and I felt it was imperative that you knew, we didn't want you to hear it from someone else and we knew you would be angry if we didn't keep you up to date." I sighed in understanding, but it didn't mean I was going to listen to her. I'd be damned if she was going to keep me away from my family in times of a crisis. They needed me just as much as I needed to be there with them. "I have to go, Edward. They are wheeling Alice into the OR and I want to be with her for as long as I can. I love you."_

"_I love you too, Mom."_

_Seconds later I was listening to the dial tone of the phone clutched tightly in my hand as Emmett looked at me with panic in his eyes. "What's wrong?"_

"_I have to head home. Alice and Jasper were in an accident and I need to be there."_

That call happened less than an hour earlier in the day. Emmett and I headed back to the dorm immediately where he tried in vain to convince me that heading back to Forks wasn't the best thing to do. Unfortunately, I wasn't listening to reason at that moment. All I could think of was driving back to be with my family when they needed me.

Of course, I was so wrapped up in shoving some clothes into a duffle bag to go home that I didn't hear her coming until it was too late. Emmett and I both stood still as we watched her stand in the doorway.

"Uh… hi."

"Hi," Emmett said somberly as I bent my head back down and continued to shove some jeans and sweaters into my bag. What in the hell was she doing here? I hadn't called her and I knew Emmett hadn't left my side since I had gotten the call from my mom, so he hadn't called either.

"What's uh… what's going on here?"

"Edward is heading home."

"Are you dropping out?" Bella asked fearfully. The look on her face broke my heart. She looked so downtrodden and sad that I wanted to reach out to her and soothe her nerves. However, rather than offer her some sort of support like I wanted to, I told her the simple truth of the matter.

"No. Alice was hurt in an accident. I'm going home. My family needs me."

Bella moved forward hesitantly and reached out to me until her soft, familiar hand was covering mine and making me freeze in my place. My entire body was on edge, but I could feel myself let go a bit under her touch. The memorable current of electricity coursing through our skin, seemed to calm us both.

"His parents said to stay here, but he won't listen to reason. He's worried and not really in any shape to drive." Bella nodded at Emmett silently, and then turned back to me with a small smile on her face before speaking.

"I'm going with you, Edward."

When Bella stated that she was coming with me, I tried to stop her and fight off her forced assistance, but she was still as stubborn as ever and wouldn't take no for an answer. She even swiped my keys before she ran up to her room to pack a bag quickly and meet me in the parking lot at the car. I groaned in frustration at Emmett, but he simply reassured me that I since I needed to talk to Bella that there was no time like the present.

However, two hours in the drive, we hadn't managed to say more than five words to each other.

Bella drove, at her own insistence, and she was taking her time and slowing down as we got closer to Forks since the roads were getting a bit treacherous. The further into the Olympic mountain range we got, the worse the roads were, and that didn't help my nerves.

I reached my hand forward to change the radio station, which was growing increasingly static filled, as Bella did the same thing and our fingers touched, the same jolt of electricity hitting us and causing both of us to pull away.

"Uh… I was just going to try and put on that Port Angeles news station so we could hear about the weather and traffic," Bella stated anxiously as she put both hands back on the wheel and clutched it tightly.

"Yeah, I just… I hated the static. I'll try and get the station for you," I replied as I put all my focus back on the radio and tuned it in even though it wasn't one hundred percent clear. "Uh… in case I forget to tell you, thanks for doing this for me."

"That's what friends are for right?" Bella shrugged her shoulders and stared straight ahead as I rubbed at my temple and decided to just bite the bullet. If I didn't talk to her about it now, when would I get the chance? I mean, sure we had the three hour drive back to Seattle whenever we went back to campus, but I found myself hoping that things were less convoluted by that time, so I took a deep breath and said something I've been wanting to say for over a month.

"Is that what we are now… friends?" Bella tensed beside me and I immediately felt like shit for bringing it up. Was it too soon? "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that."

"Don't apologize, Edward. If nothing else, yes, I want you as my friend again. It's been really hard not to have you at all in my life. I find myself wanting to talk to you all the time, thinking you would find something funny or cute, but I just… I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I miss you… I miss us."

Bella gave me a gentle smile as she turned back towards the road and my phone buzzed in my pocket with a text message.

_Alice is out of surgery and your dad and I are staying with her at the hospital in PA tonight. We will keep you posted. Ily – Mom_

"What's going on?"

"We're not going to Forks. We have to go to the Port Angeles Hospital, that's where my parents and Alice are." I breathed out a huge sigh of relief, pleased that I would be there sooner than I thought I would, but I was still worried because mom never said if the surgery was a success or not. Then again, maybe it was too soon to tell.

"That's fine," Bella said casually as she looked at me briefly and then turned to look out towards the darkened road. My mind ran a mile a minute, concerned with Alice and what was going on. For a brief second I wished I had an interest in science so I could have gone into medicine like my father, maybe then I would be a little more at ease about everything. However, as a very emotionally confused film major, I had no idea what the hell I was going to happen.

Bella and I didn't talk much during the rest of the drive. We certainly never discussed her previous comment about missing me… and us. I was too busy worrying about Alice and how she was doing to think about my own romantic issues.

When we finally got to the hospital, it was a like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Bella and I ran into the building together and after a few attempts, we finally found someone who told us what room Alice was in. We ran down the hall, and though visiting hours were almost over, neither of us particularly cared. However, when we got there, we were surprised by what we found.

Room 124 was almost completely empty except for Alice, who was lying in bed fast asleep with her arm wrapped tightly in a cast and a bunch of scraps and cuts across her face, arms and legs. Jasper was curled up at her side, away from her cast, sleeping and looking so fucking sad it almost broke my heart.

"You did that, you know."

"I did what?" I piped up as Jasper stirred a little bit and got closer to Alice. If this had been any other situation, I probably would have strung him up and threatened his life, but right now, all he wanted as to be there for my sister and I couldn't fault him for that.

"When I broke my leg, you did the same thing. The first night I was in the hospital with my cast on, you begged the doctors and nurses to let you stay with me. My mom still has the picture at home of you sleeping beside me, although it's probably hidden away somewhere."

"Why don't I remember that?"

"You do remember the cast right? I hope you do, after all you were the one who pushed me off the damn slide to begin with."

"I didn't push you. It was a love tap and I never meant to make you fall," I stated firmly as I nudged Bella with my shoulder and let out a small laugh. This was the shit I missed most of all, remembering all the random crap we did as kids that made us so happy. As Bella stood at my side, I began to slowly remember staying with her in the hospital because I had felt so guilty over what had happened. We had been younger, just eight years old at the time, but I couldn't help but wonder if Jasper felt the same way as he laid there, concerned about my sister.

My fingers twitched at my sides, eager to reach out and grab onto Bella's, just to feel closer to her, but a drawn out cough behind us pulled me out of my trance. "What are you doing here?" When we both turned around, we came face to face with the sympathetic face of my mother, whose eyes were rimmed with red from crying.

"You didn't actually expect me to stay away did you?"

"It wasn't safe of you to drive considering how worried you were."

"Bella drove," I stated as my mother's eyes grew wide with excitement as she looked up at Bella who waved shyly.

"Hi Esme. I'm really sorry about Alice," she said sweetly as my mother pulled her into a big hug, kissing her cheek.

"This is the best… well the best news I've had all day. You guys are together again?" my mother asked excitedly as I lowered my head and Bella spoke up.

"Actually, I think we're trying that friends' thing again." Bella blushed several shades of pink as she looked at me through her lashes and my mother nodded in understanding. If being a friend was what I was being offered, I would take it without a second thought. I'd do anything to get her back into my life.

**BPOV**

I hated the f-word. I loved the f-word. I was terrified of the f-word.

Friends.

I couldn't believe I had blurted out that we were friends on the drive to the hospital. Hello, ambush anyone? Edward was panicking about his sister, not knowing if the little bit he knew was the truth or just what his parents felt like he could handle and I was bringing up our relationships status, or non-relationships status. I had no idea what the hell our status was.

I had the tact of a baboon and totally deserved the tone that stung like acid when he asked if that was what we were, though I will admit that it took every bit of restraint I had not to come back with some smart ass or snarky remark just because. I bit my tongue because I knew he was stressed and worried, and because I knew that was how he reacted under high-pressure situations, you know, since we were _friends._

No matter what had transpired over the past several weeks, I still knew him better than anybody on the planet and I knew he needed reassurance, so I gave him that. It felt good to spill my guts, to let him know that no matter what happened I would always care for him. If we weren't barreling down the highway, I wasn't sure when I would have had that chance since both of us were notorious for avoiding the big issues.

I knew he heard my words though and just prayed that he believed me. When I headed off Esme's inquiries before she could get started and said that we were working on being friends, the look in his eyes told me that he did.

Friends. We would be, hell, we _were_ friends again.

"I'm going to have some strong words for Billy the next time I talk to him. This was _not_ what I was expecting after our conversation this morning." Edward and I turned around to see Renee come flying down the hallway only to stop when she wrapped her arms around Esme. Edward mouthed 'Billy' to me questioningly and I just shrugged because that was a new name to me. Esme must have seen the confusion pass between us because she answered the question before I had a chance to ask it.

"Billy works at the new Holistic center outside of Forks, near the reservation. He's into crystals, auras and Bikram yoga."

"Hot yoga," I whispered to Edward before he could get the words out. "Why anybody wants to do yoga in an 800 degree room is beyond me, but people swear by it." It felt good to anticipate his thoughts and I smiled at him as I saw the same feeling reflected in his eyes.

"He also has psychic abilities and this was not what I was expecting after he told me my horoscope for today. Let's see, I wrote it down." Renee fumbled through her gigantic canvas bag and pulled out a post it note before reading. "Your tendencies may get you into trouble today or it might just be a day like every other day. Dave is not a name you want to associate with today. Dave may be the devil's spawn. It's hard to tell. Painting the inside of your mouth is probably not a good way to change who you are on the inside."

I swear I heard crickets chirping as we stared at her, waiting for some sort of explanation as to what the fuck she just read, but instead she tore the piece of paper into itty bitty pieces and put them in the trash can at the nurse's station.

"Obviously he misread his crystals this morning." Renee huffed and complained a bit more before coming over and standing behind me, wrapping her arms around me and resting her head on my shoulder. She was one of a kind.

The four of us stood in the doorway and watched Alice and Jasper sleeping on the bed. It was a very touching moment and if they weren't eight and nine years old, I might have felt a bit intrusive. Not because it was anything dirty, um hello, that would have been just sick, but because it was just so lovely. I hoped that somebody had a picture of it to show them later. I wished I had the picture from when it had been Edward and me on that bed, instead of it being wherever it was these days.

"Where are Jasper's parents?" Edward finally asked after a few minutes, breaking the silence and snapping me back to reality.

"His dad went to go get a few things at their house, pajamas for Jasper, toothbrushes, his mom's robe. I think he needed to get out of here for a few minutes to decompress. He seemed really upset and I could tell he wanted to keep it together in front of Jasper but was struggling, so that's why your father and I said he could stay here in Alice's room. You should have seen him when Mr. Whitlock suggested that he ride along back to Forks to get the supplies for them. He latched onto Alice like a pit bull and refused to leave. He's quite ferocious for a nine year old."

"Tell me about it." Edward chuckled a bit to himself and shook his head, "he's something else." I immediately grew curious, figuring there had to be some sort of story there I was left out of. Then again, there was probably a lot I had missed while Edward and I weren't speaking.

The nurse came by to check on Alice's IV and bandages. She was not amused by Jasper's position beside Alice, but worked around him, though she did make her opinion on the situation abundantly clear with her grumbles and huffs. I took her actions as the cue for Renee and me to leave, and started to move backwards, taking my mom's arm and pulling her with me.

"Edward dear, why don't you come home with us."

Um, what?

Edward looked as surprised as I did and glanced from his mom, to Alice on her bed to Renee to me, then to the floor. "I think I should probably just stay here with my mom, Mrs. Swan." I was glad Renee was here because this really needed to be a family moment for the Cullens' and since I had driven Edward's car, I needed a way to get to Forks without taking them away from each other.

"What?" Renee actually sounded incredulous. I don't think I'd ever heard that tone from her before.

"I said, I think I should probably stay here?" Edward squeaked.

"Mom, let him stay if he wants to stay. I don't want him to be uncomfortable. Let's just go and we can come back to check and see if anything has changed in the morning."

"Oh, I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. Charlie's at home now inflating an air mattress with an old bike pump. I meant what as in what did you just call me? Mrs. Swan was my mother-in-law. She always smelled like mothballs, wore a girdle and beige Naturalizers. You have either overworked your smart little brain at that university of yours or you're traumatized by what happened to your sister. All that does is tell me that you need a good night's sleep and that's not going to happen if you're curled up in a hard plastic chair in a hospital waiting room, especially if Nurse Mumbles is on duty all night. Now, what is my name?"

"Renee?"

"Do you just not remember? Is that why you're answering me with a question?"

"Renee."

"Better. Now kiss your momma and let's go. You can see Alice in the morning. Come on, I can hear Charlie yelling at that pump from here." She gave Esme a quick hug and stormed down the hallway.

I turned to Edward and whispered, "You know you don't have to come with us if you don't want to."

"Um, honestly, I'm a little scared _not_ to. Did you see her face? And did she just yell at me?" Okay, that made me giggle a little.

"I think she may have. Seriously though, if you want to stay here I'll understand. I've got some experience dealing with Renee and I'm sure I can talk her out of forcing you to come home with us."

"I'm not letting you face _that_ alone. That's what friends are for right?"

"Right."

Following an emotional goodbye with his mother, Edward and I walked beside each other, keeping a safe distance as we followed behind Renee who kept peeking over her shoulder to make sure we were still there. I smiled briefly because for the first time since all the shit went down Halloween night, I knew that we were going to be okay and I didn't need Psychic Billy to tell me that.

"Hey Bella?" Edward leaned over and asked me as we caught up with Renee in the hospital parking lot.

"Hmmmm?" I was going to let him lead this, whatever it was, between us. I'd messed it up thinking I knew what was best.

"What kind of a name is Billy for a psychic anyway?"

See. Told ya.

No more than four minutes after leaving the hospital parking lot, I looked over and Edward was fast asleep. He looked so peaceful and innocent and I noticed just how tense his facial features had been lately. His brow wasn't furrowed, his shoulders weren't up by his ears, and his fists weren't clenched. He was relaxed and at ease; I wanted to do whatever I could to keep him like that forever.

"Mom, can you turn that down a little. E's asleep."

"Do you want me to change the station?" I looked at the clock and saw that it was after seven – which meant Delilah was on.

"Ummmm, ya know, I think you'll be fine just turning it down a bit. We're good with eighties music." It was true too; I could stand to listen to a little Huey Lewis and the News to make the drive go by faster.

As we drove in the darkness, I could still see the shapes of the trees on the side of the road and I stared out the window, just me and my thoughts. So much had changed, and I had so many unanswered questions, but I was happy. Content? Of that I wasn't sure, but I would take what I could get.

Edward started to shift around in his seat, he was still asleep, but you could tell that he wasn't comfortable. I took off my sweatshirt to bundle it up and place it between his shoulder and head when Renee jerked over into the left lane.

"What the hell mom?"

"Sorry, I thought I saw a moose." I could sense that there was a smirk on her face and I was certain that she was up to something. Suddenly, I felt Edward leaning towards me, still asleep. The seatbelt was pressing into the skin along his neck and though it wasn't the smartest thing, considering why we were in town in the first place, I unbuckled his seatbelt because I couldn't have him strangling himself.

The next thing I knew, his head was in my lap.

I knew my intuition was right when I met her eyes in the rearview mirror. "He's still asleep." I don't know why I had to clarify that other than the fact that suddenly I felt very awkward and uncomfortable. Understandable I guess considering my mother just flung my ex-boyfriends head into my lap, on purpose.

I looked down and saw that his mouth mere inches away from well, from me, it started to do things to me that probably weren't appropriate. Instinctively, I started running my hands through his hair and was overcome with the visual of memories of us in more intimate locations and I could remember what it felt like, my fingers in his hair as he made love to me. Suddenly, I clenched my eyes closed trying to stop my thoughts. Yeah, that didn't work much better. It was almost worse.

Sweet Jebus, I needed some fresh air but when I went to lower the window, it wouldn't budge. Stupid child locks. "Mom, can you turn the heat down? It's a little warm." I tried not to meet her gaze in the mirror and play it off like nothing was wrong, but when Edward nuzzled closer into my body I knew that if I didn't get some fresh air, I was literally going to crawl out of my skin or explode.

"Oh my god, I haven't heard this song in years!" She was totally ignoring me and I knew it. Things couldn't get any worse until she turned up the volume and started singing along to She Bop.

Oh. My. God. This was not happening. She was not blasting out and singing along with a song about female masturbation while Edward was sleeping in my lap. This. Was. Not. Happening. I suddenly found myself praying that the world would open up and swallow me whole just to get out of this embarrassing situation.

I glared at her in the mirror and if looks could kill, she'd be dead. Who did this to their child? Nobody normal, I knew that much. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I unbuckled my own seatbelt and moved over to where Edwards' feet were resting. I took my balled up sweatshirt and stuck it under his head, put his feet in my lap and folded my arms across my lap.

I bet Billy would say my aura was black.

The rest of the drive went off without anymore 'contributions' from the peanut gallery. Edward slept, I pouted and when Renee pulled into the driveway, I gently shook him awake not wanting to startle him.

"Edward, we're in Forks. You can go back to sleep as soon as we get inside if you want."He sat up and rubbed his eyes, his hair was pressed down flat on his left side and wild on the other. He looked confused and like a little boy and I just wanted to hold on to him, but again, I wasn't going to overstep. I'd take what I could get and wouldn't press.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to sleep the whole time."

"It's okay ba… E." _Oh God, please let him have not heard that… _"You didn't miss anything but some bad eighties sing along." He looked at me in confusion when Renee started cackling from the front seat. "Just ignore her, I do. Come on, let's go inside."

"Seriously Bella, I really am sorry." I wanted to believe that he was talking about more than just his nap, but I didn't want to talk about it then, not with my emotions running high like they were. _When_ we talked about this, it would be at the right time. I went to go grab our bags out of the trunk when I realized that they were still in Edward's car back in Port Angeles.

Oops.

"Mom." I yelled inside since she had left the door open for us. "I need the keys. We left our bags in PA so I need to run out and get toothbrushes."

"We have toothbrushes here Bella," she yelled from inside.

"Yeah, but unless you want Edward sleeping naked in your living room, we need to go out anyway." I met Edwards' eyes and we both started grinning. Wait for it….wait for it….

Like clockwork, Charlie came out the door putting on his coat and holding his keys. "Come on Edward. I need to go buy a new bike pump since I broke the old one. As for you," he said as he passed by me, "not a word." I just continued to grin.

I don't know why mom thought it was okay to leave Charlie in charge of something as simple as blowing up an air mattress. It was not in his genetic code. He had the patience of a saint with people, but when it came to putting things together or following directions… well, we'll just say it wasn't pretty and leave it at that.

After the guys left, I finally made my way inside and found Renee sitting at the round breakfast table that seemed to be the center of all family discussions. That was actually good, because I had a few things I wanted to ask her, especially about her little stunt on the drive from Port Angeles.

_Moose, my ass._

"So," I said as I grabbed some water from the fridge and a plate of brownies from the counter. "That must have been one fast moose." I looked over the plate and selected a corner brownie because the edges were my favorite part. I made a mental note to get her one of those pans with the extra edges because that concept was just the best ever. She snorted and pulled the plate over closer to her reach. I pulled it back.

"You two need to talk." She shrugged and pulled it back closer to her again.

"And somehow you thought_ that_ would be a good conversations starter?"

"Oh please, Bella. I've been eighteen, I've been nineteen, I remember what it was like to be so consumed with somebody that all you can think about is how it feels when…"

"Stop!"

That was not something I _ever_ wanted to think about.

"What I was going to say, Bella, was that I remember what it feels when a relationship is uncertain. Perve."

I choked on my brownie.

"I know what's going on in your head. I gave birth to you, I know you almost – _almost - _better than you know yourself." Cue epic mental eye roll here. "I do, I know you just rolled your eyes at me mentally. I know you want him back, it's written all over your face. I know you're beating yourself up about this whole break up situation because after thinking it was all Edward's fault, you're finally realizing that it was more about you than you wanted to admit. Now, I'm not saying it was all your fault – I don't pretend to know all the details, nor do I want to, but you and I both know that you two are both stubborn people."

"But…" I began to say something, but Renee was quick to silence me and continue on her little rant.

"You work hard, you play hard, and odds are you love hard. Don't confirm or deny, I don't particularly need to know all the details, but regardless, life as you both know it has changed. There are new people that don't know you and Edward are meant to be together, or if they do know, they don't particularly care, and if you're going to be together, you need to learn to lean on each other. He may see something that you don't and just because he tells you what you don't want to hear, that doesn't make him wrong – but it also doesn't automatically make him right. Just keep in mind that being independent doesn't mean you have to do everything on your own. In fact, a big part of being successful is knowing when to ask for help, for a new perspective. It doesn't make you weak or a failure or whatever. Being in a relationship doesn't mean giving up your life and identity for the other one, far from it. If that were the case, well, can you see your father wearing Birkenstocks? Yeah, me neither."

I giggled briefly at the image of my father in Birks, because lord knows he would still wear his standard issue white socks from the police force with them. That was just how Charlie was. He was set in his ways, and Edward was kinda the same, just in a different less socks with sandals, way.

"Talk to him, Bella. If you can't talk to him, then you'll never have a solid relationship. At least not the type of relationship you want."

She got up and put the brownies back on the counter before patting me on the head. "Now, I have to go get some sheets for the air mattress for Edward… unless you want to mess with Charlie and pretend he's sleeping in your room?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Admit it though, it could have been fun."

Renee was right, it could have been fun to play with my dad and his stringent ways, but I didn't think Edward would particularly enjoy it and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I grabbed some old pajamas from my room and changed into them just as Charlie and Edward made their way into the house.

"Your dad bought me some flannels at the hardware store," Edward said with a small grin as he held up the non-descript brown paper bag in his hand. I smiled shyly as Edward eyed me up in my old Hello Kitty sleep set that Angela had bought me two years ago. Sure, it was a little small across the chest and in the length, but it fit the best out of everything I had in the house. "I think they are about 4 sizes too big, but it was all they had."

"I also got a good air pump," Charlie said proudly as he held up his pump and headed back into the living room.

"Uh… I'm gonna go change for bed, but I just wanted to say thanks," Edward said as he stared at his feet and then lifted his head to give me a sweet smile. "You didn't need to come with me today, but you did anyways and I appreciate it, really. So… thanks, and goodnight."

"Goodnight," I replied as I waved to Edward before he disappeared down the hallway to change in the small powder room.

When I walked into my room, I flopped myself down on my bed and smiled brightly at nothing in particular. I felt like I was soaring because for the first time in a very long time, I felt like we could definitely fix this.


	28. Powerless

**A/N: Just a quick one today. Big Thanks to MaggieMay14 for dealing with this crap and as usual, we don't own Twilight, but Risbee is in love with the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.**

**BPOV**

If there was one thing I wished I could teach Esme and Renee, it was the word overkill, or moderation, or maybe restraint. Okay, so maybe that was three things, but they are all very valuable and respectable things to know. Hell, they could share the knowledge and then it would only be like one and a half things for them to master since they were always together or they could divvy them up two for one and one take the other, I didn't really care. The fact of the matter was that they needed to learn to control themselves before their not so subtle plan to reunite Edward and me blew up in their faces. They were about as subtle as a Mack truck.

It all started when I walked downstairs for breakfast. It was FREEZING! Renee had the kitchen windows wide open and was standing there fanning the smoke that was billowing from the stovetop in that direction. I wasn't exactly sure what she had burned, since the carnage was charred beyond recognition.

"Morning sweet pea. Here, can you take over for a minute?" She handed me the cutting board she was fanning the air with and gestured for me to continue with the up and down motion.

_Yeah mom, I think I can handle it._

"Its freezing in here… let me run upstairs and grab a hoodie or something first." I was standing there in my too small Hello Kitty pajamas in front of an open window in December. I could poke somebody's eye out.

"Oh stop your complaining. You'll warm up in a few minutes from moving around. I just want to wash that pan off before the pancakes become a permanent part of the surface."

"_Those_ were supposed to be pancakes?" I started to giggle because they looked like, well… like lava rocks.

"Heart shaped pancakes actually."

"Mom, stop. Seriously. I know you mean well and I appreciate the effort, but just stop. Edward is still sleeping in the next room, so I don't want to talk about this now, but just back off okay? I know what you are doing and I'm pretty sure that when we get to the hospital, Esme will start in on us as well, but you just have to back off. Please?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bella. I meant what I said last night when I said you two needed to talk. These pancakes were for Alice. I thought they might cheer her up."

Uh huh. She was making pancakes to pack up and deliver to an eight year old in the hospital forty-five minutes away. A child who's mother was actually a _good_ cook. She can't fool me. I glared at Renee with a look that was both a bit pleading and a bit irritated, all the while hoping she'd get the hint.

I kept fanning the smell of burnt 'pancakes' towards the window as Renee tried to scrub the pan. The sound of the sponge was like nails on a chalkboard and I was hoping she'd finish soon because I had had just about enough. Thankfully, she put the sponge down and grabbed the spray nozzle to rinse it off, I was in the clear.

I should have known better.

Edward came walking sleepily into the kitchen, running his fingers through his hair and looking a little confused almost like he wasn't exactly sure where he was. "Morning Edward." I stopped with the fanning and lowered the cutting board because I was sure I looked like a complete spaz. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah… though I could use some ibuprofen if you have any. Believe it or not, I'm actually so used to the lumpy mattress in my dorm room that I'm a bit stiff."

Oh god…oh god…my eyes immediately shot to Renee because Edward said stiff and with every ounce of energy I had, I sent 'please do not say a word' vibes in her direction. The seconds seemed to last for hours and I watched as her shoulders went rigid and with the one hand not holding the nozzle from the sink, it tightened around the edge of the counter top. Was she actually showing a little restraint?

Tick….tock…tick…tock. The water was still running and Edward was looking at me while I was watching Renee.

"Um….mom? Ibuprofen? Is it still in the cabinet over there?" I gestured with my head to the cabinet on her right and Edward started to move in that direction.

"Actually no. We moved it to the one over there."

And that's when it happened.

Renee turned to point at the cabinet behind me, but didn't release the nozzle in her hand, which meant she ended up spraying water directly at my chest.

Fuck. My. Life.

"Mom!" I immediately tried to cover up my dripping wet and completely see-through pajama top, but when I did so, I dropped the cutting board… right on Edward's foot.

Water was still spraying everywhere because Renee couldn't stop laughing. Edward began hopping around cursing under his breath and I was afraid to move because I was petrified that I would either get sprayed again or I'd slip on the water on the floor. It was so cold in there that the water on my shirt had probably turned to ice at this point. All I needed then was for Charlie to walk in and see, he'd probably lock us all up in an institution.

Again. Fuck. My. Life.

Finally, Renee got to the point where she loosened her hold on the sprayer and the water stopped. I jumped at the break in the action and ran as fast as my ungraceful ass could up the stairs and slammed the door to my bedroom. I counted to ten and took deep breaths to try and calm down. She really was unbelievable, and I meant that in the most sarcastic way possible.

After changing into several layers of dry clothes, I walked back downstairs with a handful of towels from the linen closet to help soak up some of the water from the kitchen floor. I handed some to my mom and dropped the rest on the floor. Edward started to reach down to help, but I shooed him away.

"Why don't you go call your mom and check on Alice? I know you're anxious to see her since you didn't get to talk to her yesterday. Once you know how she is, maybe we can scoot out for some breakfast or maybe go pick up some flowers for her. I'd like to see her too… that is, if you want some company?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I'd just assumed that he'd want me to go with him, but it wouldn't totally shock me if he didn't.

"Yeah. Okay, that sounds good. I'll go call her now and we can go." He walked over to the plate beside the stove and picked up Renee's culinary efforts. "What are these?"

"She tried to make pancakes." I looked over at mom not giving her a chance to chime in. "But I think Charlie may take them and torture some prisoners with them instead. Go call your mom. I'm going back upstairs to get ready."

About an hour or so later, Edward and I were gathering up our things. The plan was to go grab some food, visit Alice and then come back here for the night with Edward's car. We would head back to UW tomorrow afternoon and I was hoping that we'd finally get a chance to talk. While still a bit awkward, things between us were definitely improving and I didn't feel like I needed to walk on eggshells around him like I did yesterday.

I had so many things I wanted to say to him and so many things I needed to apologize for. Part of me was a little disappointed that we hadn't had that opportunity yet, but we really hadn't had the chance since we got to the hospital and the trip from UW was not the time nor place to talk about us. Alice was our focus then, as she should have been. Tomorrow's trip back to campus though, it was fair game.

"You guys are coming back here tonight, right?" Charlie's voice woke me up from my internal ramblings. I didn't even hear him come in.

"That's the plan, why?"

"Well, the National Weather Service put out a bulletin for the area. It's supposed to be pretty nasty out there tonight, but it should be fine by tomorrow afternoon. I just wanted to make sure that you guys weren't planning on being on the road today."

"Yeah, we'll be back before it gets bad, I don't want Bella driving on iffy roads, so no worries. I'll probably stay at home with Mom, Dad and Alice tonight since the doctors said that she might be able to go home depending on how she does after she eats. They want to make sure she's doing okay after the anesthesia or something like that, I can't remember exactly what Mom said." Edward walked over and stood beside me. "Are you ready to go? Mom wants to see us. She said she needed some help with something in Port Angeles."

"Sure. " I picked up the keys to Mom's car off the top of the bookshelf and turned to Edward. "Let's go. See you later, Dad."

"Bye Bells. Edward."

As we got to my front door, I yelled a quick goodbye to Renee and pulled Edward out the door by his arm. I wasn't taking any chances for her to pull anything else. I needed to get out of there for a bit.

We stopped by the diner for some food and, ungh, I had forgotten how good their breakfast is. I was shoveling my food in my mouth like somebody was going to take my plate away from me at any second. It was a bit rude, but it helped me get over the fact that Edward and I weren't talking. At all. Again, surrounded by other people like we were didn't make the diner the ideal place to have the big discussion. That time would present itself eventually.

Hello, my name is Bella Swan. I am a freshman at the University of Washington and I am majoring in avoidance strategies.

"Well look what the cat dragged it. It's about time you two got back together, though I have to admit you two don't look particularly happy right now. What's wrong?" I was startled a bit when Mary popped up since apparently I was so busy eating that I didn't see her walk over towards our table. She leaned a little closer and did a stage whisper, "Mom and Dad walk in on you two?" I started shoveling the food in faster and refused to make eye contact with Edward or Mary for that matter.

Ugh. Not her too.

"Hey Mary. Um… actually we're not back together." Edward said, rather harshly in fact. "We're here because Alice was in a car accident yesterday. I couldn't drive and Bella was the only way I could get home."

Well, ouch.

"Oh sweetie. I am so sorry. Is she going to be okay?"

Edward filled Mary in on the details and I let my mind wander. Is that all that I was to him right now? A way to get back to Forks? Maybe I was jumping the gun a bit on this whole 'we can work it out' bit. Still, I had so many things I wanted to say. I needed to finally tell him that he was right about Liam. I needed to tell him that I was wrong and that I finally understood that he wasn't trying to be controlling as much as he was just trying to open my eyes a bit. I needed to tell him that I was sorry. Then, and only then, could I truly evaluate whether or not we could fix us, but deep down inside I was cautiously optimistic… or I was until a few seconds ago.

"You said y'all were coming back to Forks tonight, sweetie?" Edward nodded and started eating again. His cheeks were pink and his eyes were bright, knowing him as well as I did, I knew he was getting irritated but trying to rein his emotions in. We needed to get out of here soon. "Well swing by here on your way back in town. I'll get some dinner together for your family. The last thing your momma needs to be worrying about is cooking a meal. "

"Thanks Mary," Edward said and I smiled at her as she walked back towards the kitchen.

"Well _that_ was a bit awkward," I said trying to lighten the mood. Edward was glowering into his plate and stabbing his omelet like he was trying to pulverize it. "You know, if you wanted scrambled eggs, I'm sure they'd make you some."

I grinned.

He didn't.

Message received. We were not at the joking point. Not even close.

After we finished our food and we each paid our own bill, we headed in silence towards the hospital. Oh wait, he did ask if I minded if he drove Renee's Toyota into Port Angeles. I handed over the keys with no hesitation. If that would make him happy, then I was all for it. However, it ended up being the longest trip ever and I regretted giving him the keys. He didn't even turn the radio on or tap his hands on the steering wheel or talk or even hiccup. It was complete silence.

Well, no, I take that back. He did ask me to call his mom and let her know we were on our way, but that was it. He was mad about something and where before I would have needled the shit out of him until he spit it out, today I was afraid because it came about so suddenly. He was fine earlier, but now that we were alone, it was like he was behind an impenetrable wall of bad mood.

So, I just kept my thoughts to myself and started playing on my phone. I texted back and forth a bit with Nettie and emailed Siobhan letting her know that Alice was okay and that I'd be back at the dorm tomorrow afternoon. I texted a bit more with Nettie and checked in on Facebook before I texted even more with Nettie.

"It doesn't bother you at all does it?"

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. "What doesn't bother me about what? The no music? No I'm fine. It is a little chilly in here, but we're almost at the hospital, so I'm okay."

"Whatever."

_Okaaaaay._

I put my hand on his arm and felt him stiffen beneath my touch. Not gonna lie, that hurt a little but I can't say it completely shocked me. "Edward, if you want to talk about it, we can you know." The problem was I didn't know what exactly he wanted to talk about – us? Alice? The economy? But I stood by what I said, if he wanted to talk, we'd talk.

He just shook his head and kept his eyes looking straight ahead. I thought I heard him mumbling a bit, but I wasn't about to push the envelope. He'd talk when he was ready and I would be there when he was.

Once we got to the hospital, we found Esme and Carlisle in the waiting room right outside Alice's room. Edward was a little concerned about the scene until Carlisle told him that Alice tended to be a bit over-dramatic when Esme was in the room with her and the doctors were trying to evaluate her injuries. If she saw Esme, she screamed. If she was alone with the doctors, she was all smiles. Edward laughed and shook his head as he mouthed out 'typical'. It sounded like Alice was going to be just fine and you could hear the relief in his voice.

Sensing his relief, Esme wasted no time jumping in to action. "Well now that you're here, I was hoping you two could help me with something."

She leaned forward and started whispering about how she wanted to get everything set up for Alice's return home and how she wanted to include Jasper and his parents in their evening because she knew that they felt guilty about the whole situation. She had a list a mile long of errands that we were supposed to run and tasks we were to accomplish and it was obvious that she had come up with every possible scenario to make us work together.

_Somebody_ had been talking to Renee.

With every breath Esme took, I could feel the tension start to radiate off of Edward and I knew I needed to get him away for a few minutes at least. "Esme, here, give me the list. We'll walk down to the coffee shop and get some…thing." I wasn't the least bit hungry, but it was the first excuse I could think of. "Maybe Edward and I can divvy everything up and get it all done twice as fast. After all, Edward's car is downstairs in the parking lot, since we came in Renee's."

His eyes shot to mine and I thought I saw a flash of relief before it covered up again as Esme started going on and on and on about how splitting it up wouldn't do and that we needed to do all this _together _to be efficient.

"Come on. I need to go get some coffee." I grabbed Edward by the hand, ignoring the supersonic squeal from Esme and we walked down the hall. Once we were out of sight I let go of his hand and looked for an empty room. He needed to calm down before he said something to somebody that he would regret later. I could handle it, however I wasn't sure Alice or his mom would be as understanding.

Every room on the hospital floor was occupied, go figure, but eventually I found a janitor's closet. It had to do. I opened it and gestured for Edward to go in. "Don't worry, I'll keep my hands to myself," I joked still trying to lighten the mood because it was either that or cry. I never did handle stress very well.

The chuckle that I heard was full of sarcasm and frustration, but it was something.

I stepped in behind him and pulled the door not really shut, but close enough to give him some privacy while he gathered himself and took a few hundred deep breaths. I didn't say anything, didn't push, I just let him breathe.

Then the door slammed shut. Oh shit.

"I found them Renee. They're in a closet and I'm not letting them out until they're back together." I couldn't hear my mother's voice and assumed that she was talking to my mother on a cell phone. Was that even allowed in the hospital? Knowing Renee and Esme, neither of them really cared. They just wanted to manipulate the situation to get us back together.

"MOTHER FUCK!"

_Uh…Oh…_

Edward stormed over to the door and moved me out of the way. "Mom, open the damn door."

"Now, Edward, just calm down. I was only trying to help."

"Help who? Me? Bella? I don't think so. Open the damn door." He started talking through a clenched jaw at this point and I could literally see the anger pour off his body. I was afraid to say a word, and yet found myself a little turned on at Edward's… authority? Was that totally wrong of me? Yes, yes it was.

Slowly the door opened and as soon as he could get his foot out, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the hallway. "Come on Bella, we're going back to UW."

"What?" Both Esme and I looked at him in shock.

"I can't take this anymore. We're leaving, or I am anyway… if you want to stay that's fine, but you're going to have to find a way back because I'm outta here."

I looked at Esme and apologized. "I'm sorry Esme, I'm going with Edward."

I handed Esme the keys to my mom's car and asked her to explain to Renee what was going on. Edward didn't need to be alone right now, even if he wasn't talking to me. I refused to leave him alone when he was like this. He was already gone by the time I got to the elevators. Surely he wouldn't leave me for real, right?

_Yeah, I'd better take the stairs. _

I ran over to the stairwell and flew down three floors. Thank goodness it was easier going down stairs than it was going up! I flung open the door on the ground level, almost taking out a candy striper before I saw a flash of bronze hair storm out the doors in the front lobby.

"Edward! Wait for me! I'm coming!"

_Haven't said that in a while, have you?_ _Okay self… now is NOT the time for jokes and innuendo._

That's right. I could be responsible and rational when I had to be.

**EPOV**

This was getting bloody ridiculous. At every turn people were doing their best to insinuate themselves into my life, trying like hell to reunite Bella and I. However, until we managed five minutes to talk, it wasn't going to happen.

As I stormed out into the lobby, the anger building within me as I headed to the car, I heard Bella call out for me to wait for her. For a brief moment, I considered ignoring her pleas, but I stopped cold in my tracks, my eyes narrowed at as I looked at her in frustration. She had a small smile gracing her face and I couldn't help snapping at her. How the fuck could she be smiling?

"Are you in on their plan Bella? Why the fuck would you drag me into that room, only to have my mother lock us in there? Don't you think all of this isn't hard enough already on me?" I shouted, causing several nurses and hospital staff to pause and look at us.

Bella immediate became pissed off and grabbed my arm, pulling me outside into the crisp December air. "Don't you for one fucking second think I had anything to do with that. I pulled you into that room because I, unlike our mothers, was trying to help you. You were on the verge of freaking out and desperately needed to calm down," she yelled back at me as she stormed away towards my car, shouting at me as she went. "Regardless of everything that had happened with us, I still care for you and I didn't like that ambush either."

I felt instant remorse as I approached my car and Bella was standing there with her hands against the roof, no doubt crushed by my callous response. Three months ago I would have known, without a shadow of a doubt, that she had nothing to do with the fuckery caused by our mothers. However, now, after everything we had gone though, it wasn't so easy to trust her.

"I'm sorry," I said honestly as I pulled my keys from my pocket and began to unlock the door. "If you don't want to come back to UW with me today, I understand."

"Listen, and listen good, Cullen," Bella said as she turned to face me with her eyes rimmed red and determination set in her voice. "You came here to check on your sister and if you leave right now, you won't have even said three words to her. I know your mother is annoying the hell out of both of us right now, but you need to go show your love and support to Alice before we leave."

"Don't you want to talk about…"

"No. I don't want to talk about anything right now. I'm going back in there and getting us two coffees for the road. You are going back up to Alice's room and managing five minutes with her, otherwise this trip will have been essentially pointless. Unless, you wanted to sleep on an air mattress in my living room for another night and deal with the machinations of our mothers for shits and giggles?"

So, rather than deal with 'Hurricane Bella', I did just what she said and we headed back into the hospital together, going our separate ways once we hit the elevators. I had to wait five minutes before I could get into the room, since Alice was still charming her doctors to let her go home early, but once I was in there, my entire mood seemed to ease. I felt calmer and happier talking to her directly and seeing firsthand how well she was doing.

She was surprisingly cheerful considering everything and didn't hold a grudge against Jasper or his family, not that I expected her too. Of course, when I mentioned Seattle, she was a bit disappointed she never got to see the Rockettes perform, so I promised her a trip next year if she agreed to no more hospital stays.

"Can Bella come with us?" she asked tentatively as I sat back in the small chair nestled beside her bed.

"I'm not sure, Ali."

"You need to talk to her. Jasper and I always talk things out."

"It's not that easy. You guys are a lot younger than us, and things aren't always so black and white when you are older."

"You still love her right?" Alice asked, her voice filled with hope as I responded immediately.

"Yeah, but it's not like I could just stop loving her after eighteen years, Alice."

"Well, if you love someone, you should do everything you can to be together. I saw that on Hannah Montana the other day," she replied with a smile as Bella appeared in the doorway, looking nervous.

"Uh… if we want to get back to Seattle today, we are going to need to get going." Bella fidgeted a little bit as she clutched the door frame tightly in her hands. I glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed it was already a little after one in the afternoon. Where the hell had the time gone?

"Hi Bella," Alice said animatedly as Bella went over and gave her a small hug and whispered some words of encouragement that I was unable to hear. The girls chattered on aimlessly about how Alice was doing and they discussed when we would be coming home for Christmas, but Alice didn't pry into Bella's life like she did mine. Oh, the joy of having her as a little sister.

Less than 40 minutes later, Bella and I were in the Volvo driving down US-101 out of Port Angeles, our luggage still in the trunk since we didn't have it the night before. The last 24 hours had been a whirlwind and I had to admit, I was relieved to be heading home, even though I was tired as hell. Bella leaned forward and adjusted the radio to the local news station as I turned up the windshield wipers since snow was beginning to fall heavily. There had been a steady stream of it since we had left the hospital, but it was slowly getting worse.

"This is a report from the National Weather Service. Heavy snowfall is currently underway and expected to continue overnight in Clallam, Jefferson, Grays Harbor and Mason counties. The area north and east of the Olympic Mountains could see up to 10 inches of snow by Friday afternoon and the Shelton and Olympia areas could get up to five inches. State Highway Patrol is requesting that all vehicles get off the roads and unless there is an emergency, please stay indoors."

I slowed slightly due to the traffic as we drove past Seqium and we both looked at each other with surprise on our faces. "The road doesn't look that bad," I replied as Bella's cell phone immediately began to buzz with her mother's tell tale ring.

"Hi Mom… yes, we are on the road." There was a pause and I could hear Renee chastising her on the other end of the phone. "Yes Mom, I heard dad this morning when he mentioned the snow."

"Tell her we're getting off the road."

"Why the fuck are we getting off the road? I'm sure it's fine closer to Seattle," Bella remarked as I heard her sigh and rub at her eyes. "Yes Mom, I'm sorry for swearing. Anyways, we'll be fine."

"Bella…" I started to say as I slowed the car a bit more and noticed there were very few drivers on the road. In fact, directly ahead of me, in the middle of the road was a highway patrol car. "Shit… this can't be good." I tried to ignore Bella as she bickered with her mother and I slowed and opened my window to speak to the patrolman who was waving me down. We spoke briefly and he informed me the road was closed due to the bad weather, but if we exited the highway, the Sequim Motel had some rooms available for the night. Great… another night with Bella. This was going to get awkward, I could feel it.

"Hey Mom… guess what? We are being forced off the road by a Highway Patrolman. Edward and I are getting a room." Suddenly, the car was overcome with the sounds of Renee's gleeful screams. Even the patrolman took a step back with a shocked look on his face. "Uh… I'll call you when we get into a room." Bella hung up her call and the patrolman directed us from the road towards the hotel and less than fifteen minutes later, we were checking into the last room they had, with one king sized bed.

I had grabbed our bags from the car and when we got into the room, Bella and I both looked at each other tentatively. The tension between us was obvious as she paced around, checking out all the amenities our shabby little room had to offer. The room certainly wasn't anything to write home about with the maroon and blue rose patterned bedspread, standard cheesy hotel room art and a dresser, table and two chairs. I couldn't even offer to sleep on the couch since there wasn't one, and there was no way I was sleeping on the floor two nights in a row. We'd just have to make this work.

"Hey look, there's a coffee machine."

"Just what you need… more caffeine," I mused as I opened the bathroom door and pulled out one of the plastic covered glasses so that I could have a glass of water. "Didn't you have like 4 cups at the diner and another one at the hospital?"

"I didn't mean for right now, I was thinking about the morning, you know? You like your coffee in the morning and well… who knows how long we will be here for, right?"

"Do you think we will be here longer than tonight?" I questioned, suddenly worried this was going to become more long term than I had hoped. Bella picked up her duffle bag from the floor and tossed it onto the nearest chair as she flopped down onto the bed with a loud thud.

"We might be. I mean, the radio did say 10 inches or snow, so who knows how long it will take them to plow or salt it. I just don't want to get your hopes up. It's freakish enough that we are getting snow like this." I nodded my head reluctantly and sat down in the empty seat as Bella sat up and leaned back on her hands, watching me. "So umm... do you want to sleep on the right or left side?" I knew very well which side of the bed she preferred, but I wasn't going to make any assumptions about what she would have wanted. I was done assuming things about her.

"Uh… left."

"Okay," she said quietly as she leaned towards the nightstand and reached in to pull out the binder filled with the hotel amenities. It was at that moment, with her shirt riding up slightly, that I caught sight of her tattoo again. "Do you want to order some dinner? I mean… we have to eat right? There is a little restaurant here in the hotel, and I think it's our only option. Ooh… they have pizza."

Rather than say something that might make our already awkward night worse, I nodded my head in response and confirmed that pizza sounded good. We hadn't had lunch, so around four in the afternoon, as the snow continued outside the window so hard I couldn't even see where my car was parked, Bella called down to the café and ordered dinner which consisted of pizza, extra cheesy garlic bread and two cokes.

It took over an hour to arrive and we ate in relative silence, watching the news coverage of the snow storm and both of us breathed a sigh of relief that we had managed to pull over and get a room. They were showing scene after scene on the TV of cars stuck in the snow, people being taken to hospital from accidents and they even showed that the snow plows were having trouble getting out onto the roads to clear them because of the heavy consistency of the snow.

After dinner, the signal on the TV began to go, so Bella decided to hop into the shower before bed as I sat down and read one of my books for class. The time seemed to fly by, because when she walked out later with a towel wrapped around her wet body, with her damp hair hanging down her shoulders, I couldn't believe it had been over fifteen minutes already. She turned from me and began fishing around in her duffle bag for something when I realized I had been staring at her the entire time and decided to just ask something that had been bothering me for a while.

"Why did you get a tattoo, Bella?" She grew silent as she clutched the small white towel in her hands and turned back to look at me, her face clearly unsure. "I mean, you don't have to justify it to me, I just never thought you would be the type of person to get one."

"Uh… it's actually something I've always thought about getting, if I'm being honest with you. I didn't think you were against them."

"I'm not against them per say," I replied as Bella looked at me skeptically. "I've just never known anyone who has had one."

"Renee has one." I spluttered as I dropped the book I had been holding, onto the floor. "It's a star on her shoulder. Apparently it has some meaning to her and my Dad. I don't even want to know the specifics, but it's always intrigued me, so… I did it."

"Uh… can I see it?" Ever since that first night she had flashed it briefly, I had an inkling I knew what it was, but of course I wasn't going to say anything. Things were already extremely tense between us and I didn't want to accuse her or say something to make things worse. I waited patiently with a small, yet hopeful smile on my face as Bella turned away from me and dropped her towel.

_Fuck._

_She was naked… in front of me… and her tattoo… just… fuck!_

"It's a gardenia," she whispers a she turned slightly, moving her arm so that she could brush her hand over the detailed ink work on her hip. I needed to see it closer, so as Bella stood still, looking nervous yet determined, I climbed from the bed and moved next to her, looking down at the delicate white flower.

"It means secret love," I replied quietly as Bella bit down on her bottom lip and just nodded her head. "I gave you one… last June."

"Yeah, you did. They became my favorite," she said anxiously as she turned to face me and I couldn't help myself as I appraised her naked body intensely. She looked so fucking beautiful and confident; it was like I was face to face with a different Bella. My body instantly reacted to her scent, her skin and the shy smile that graced her face that I couldn't stop… I reached my hand up and threaded it through her wet hair pulling her towards me as I kissed her with all my might. Our mouths pressed together hard, moans and gasps making it easier for my tongue to find hers and I began teasing and sucking with wild abandon.

Bella's hands wrapped tightly around my neck, her breasts pushed up against my shirt as my hands then lightly skimmed down her sides to wrap around her waist and hold her against me. I was so fucking hard it was ridiculous, but I didn't want to assume anything was going to happen. It still felt so surreal to be standing there with Bella, making out while we were stuck in a hotel room, during a massive snowstorm. The lights overhead began to flicker and the power went out just as Bella began to walk forward, effectively moving me back towards the bed.

Her hands grasped at my belt, pulling it loose as she them fumbled briefly with the zipper of my pants. When she released it, she showed no hesitation as she literally shoved her hand into my pants and wrapped her hand around my dick, stroking it roughly, making me even more on edge. "Bella, stop…" I whispered as my knees hit the bed and I sat down, feeling uncomfortable about the entire situation. My anxiety was made ten times worse when Bella kneeled before me and yanked my pants down, completely freeing my cock as she reached up to stroke me again.

"You don't really want me to stop do you?" she asked with a glint of playfulness in her eyes as she looked up at me, and I let out a deep breath as I tried not to focus on the fact that she was giving me a hand job. Oh fuck… make that head, since she wrapped her mouth around me. Fuck, that felt awesome and yet so wrong.

"Bella, stop… really. We need to talk before this can happen," I grumbled, regretting the fact that I had to stop such a stupendous blow job so that we could work out our issues. Bella licked up my shaft and released me from her mouth with a look of disappointment on her face.

"Be reasonable, Edward," she said simply as she stood up from the floor and pushed against my shoulders until I was lying on the bed. Bella straddled my legs and climbed above me as she rested her hands against the mattress on either side of my head. "Every single time we try and talk, something fucks it all up. Talking is highly overrated. I personally think actions speak louder than words," she said teasingly, as she slid her body back, her wet pussy sliding across the head of my rock hard dick in the process.

"Oh Jesus… fuck me," I growled as Bella moved harder against me and my hands rapidly stretched and gripped her hips, my fingers finally touching the tattoo which held meaning to both of us.

"That's what I am trying to do, baby," Bella purred in my ear as she leaned back until she was sitting up and grasped the hem of my shirt, urging me to rise up from the bed as she struggled to pull it off of me. "You need to stop thinking, Edward. Just let us have this…" I could sense the fear and hesitation in Bella's voice, as though she thought this might be the last time we were ever together, and I hated that she felt like that.

I would give her anything, but I never wanted her to feel like there was no hope for us. I reached my hand up to cup her face, my thumb moving soothingly across her cheek as I felt Bella relax against my touch. She leaned down and kissed my lips, a slightly panic-stricken look on her face until I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her down against me.

"I never stopped loving you," I admitted breathlessly as Bella began kissing me more passionately as I rolled her until she was on her back with me hovering above her. "Regardless of everything, my feelings about you never changed."

Bella smiled sweetly at me as I kicked off my pants and she crawled to the center of the bed. I was quick to join her, my lips and hands worshipping every inch of her sweet body which I noticed didn't have the same lush curves it used to have a few weeks earlier. She had lost a little bit of weight, and though it wasn't bad, I liked her body before – when things were good.

I buried my face into the crook of her neck, whispering sweet confessions of my love for her as my hands kneaded her breasts and I groaned as her fingers scraped up my back and she clung to my shoulders. Bella's hips moved languidly against my aching cock, coating it in her sweetness as I kissed down her chest and sucked one of her nipples into my mouth just as my fingers began to stroke her clit.

I had forgotten how strong Bella's moans and sighs could be, as she kept spurring me on with her own words of appreciation and adoration. "More… oh god, Edward… more, baby." I eased two fingers inside of her as I rubbed her clit with my thumb, pressing down hard as my fingers fucked her slowly at first, picking up the pace as Bella's voice got louder and louder.

I licked up her collarbone until I was right beside her ear and I curled my fingers inside her, stroking her body to release as I whispered gently to her. "You are the most beautiful woman ever." Bella came screaming and shuddering, louder than ever before because believe me, I had that shit on replay in my mind always.

Bella didn't even wait two seconds to catch her breath before her hand reached between us and grasped my cock, guiding it into her. As I felt my throbbing cock slide inside her tightness, I suddenly stilled – we had no protection. I quickly pulled out as Bella looked at me with shock. "We uh… we don't have anything."

"Edward, we're good. I promise," she said emphatically as she leaned up and kissed me hard against my mouth. I wanted to, fuck… did I ever want to, because it felt better than ever being inside her, but I didn't want the unexpected to show up nine months from now. "Have you ever had sex with anyone else?" Bella questioned as I shook my head in response. "Me either, and to be honest, I don't want to be with anyone but you. Now… I would really like to continue. I'm on the pill, remember? So please… Edward, please be with me."

Bella's eyes were pleading with me and like always, I couldn't deny her. I kissed her soundly on the lips and slid inside her slowly, finding it hard to breathe with each moment we were connected. For the next little while, I loved Bella as deeply as I could, moving in time with her, and showing her just how much she meant to me without words. I kissed her, stroked her soft skin and tried to make her realize how she was, and always had been the center of my universe.

When we came, it was together, in a tired heap of limbs with her hair splayed over the pillows. We curled up together; our fingers intertwined as I spooned behind her and kissed her neck softly until she fell asleep.

While Bella slept soundly for the rest of the night, I was wide awake.

I couldn't shut off my mind, and even climbed out of bed once to look outside the windows. The snow was coming down just as hard and there was about seven inches on the ground already. The power was limited, the hotel running only the bare essentials on a generator, so listening to the radio or the TV wasn't an option. So instead, I sat up in bed and stroked Bella's hair and tried to figure out where we went from here. Until we talked though, the answer was set for me.

We couldn't go anywhere until we talked.


	29. Parlez

**A/N: Did you miss us? We don't have much news to share this week, just that we have both been busy with RL, but we hope you enjoy the chapter. We have been diligently working on an outtake that is Renee & Esme centric for the lovely sharkbellywhite who bought us in the FGB: Eclipse Edition auction, so you should see it in the next month or so. We love our beta, MaggieMay14, even though she is mad there is no lemon in this chapter.**

We don't own Twilight; but CPW is chomping at the bit to get the new Joshua Radin album that was released yesterday.

**BPOV**

It was so quiet, almost too quiet actually. Other than the soft hum of the hotel generator and Edward's gentle snoring, the world was completely silent – and I was wide awake. I wasn't even sure exactly what time it was since the digital clock on the bedside table was blinking from the power outage.

After tossing and turning for who knows how long, I finally decided to get up and go peek out the window to see what the weather was like. The fact that we were still on generator power didn't bode well, but I remembered Charlie saying that it was supposed to be fine by the next afternoon. I got out of bed quickly, smooshing the covers back down and kind of bunching them around Edward so that he wouldn't get cold. Thankfully, he didn't wake up because as much as I had things that I needed to say to him, I wanted to get my thoughts organized first.

I grabbed his hoodie and threw it on before walking over to my bag and finding some undies, blushing as I remembered why I didn't have any on in the first place. Last night was wonderful. It was beautifully carnal and perfect and oh so necessary, but not at all what I had planned on happening. I mean, I dropped the towel. What the hell… that was so not me. I dropped my freakin' towel. All he did was ask why I got the tattoo. There was no mention of seeing it or wanting to know what I got, he just asked why. Apparently, I was feeling bold last night.

As I replayed the thoughts and feelings in my head, I wasn't sure what triggered it other than teenage hormones, there was one thing of which I was completely certain. It had to happen again; and by it, I didn't mean the sex, though that needed to happen again too. I meant the bare knuckles, no pretenses, walls down straightforwardness. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but if this relationship was going to survive, we both needed to just let go from time to time and be the only two people in _our _universe.

I stood by what I said to Edward though, talk was overrated. Well, at that particular time. Last night was about emotions and laying it all out there, being bare for each other – literally and metaphorically. We were both classic over thinkers, which was most likely what got us in this mess in the first place.

We acted on instinct and it was as close to him as I had felt in months, even before our issues escalated. It reminded me of the night before I left for London, where we sat on my bed and looked at pictures from our past. We kissed for real for the first time that night, before he panicked and hightailed it out my bedroom window.

I pulled back a corner of the curtain and saw the snow falling down from the sky. There would be no running today, for either of us, and possibly no driving. The snow was deep and I didn't see an end in sight. So much for accurate weather reporting.

I was surprised that we hadn't heard more from Charlie, but then figured that he was probably out assisting stranded motorists and handling things back in Forks. He had made a career out of dealing with stressful and potentially emotional situations and yet he was the one person that _didn't_ try and give me any advice. He'd always made a point of instilling in me that a person was in charge of his or her own destiny and that I was responsible for the decisions and choices I made in my life. Of course, I think he was just trying to make sure that I stayed out of prison, but I guessed the same could be applied to relationship advice as well.

After I'd seen all that I wanted to of the white out outside, I let go of the curtain and darkness covered the room again. I had some thinking to do and now was the time to do it. It was a little cold in the room and I still didn't have any pants on, so I pulled my knees up and under Edwards's hoodie forming a little cocoon in the god-awful upholstered chair in which I found myself huddled. It wasn't the ideal situation, but I didn't want to risk waking Edward up. It was bad enough that I couldn't sleep, but there was no need for both of us to be awake at this hour. Besides, he looked really, really cute while he was fast asleep and who knew if I'd ever get the chance to see him like this again.

I didn't know what would happen once we were able to leave the hotel, whether it happened later today or if it didn't come until tomorrow because the roads continued to be impassable. However, I was determined that we wouldn't leave until I'd had a chance to say everything I needed to say and he'd had a chance to hear everything that he deserved to hear. He needed to hear me say that I was wrong. I started to mentally go through everything I needed to atone for, and the list was long, like really long. Still, it had to be done.

"Hey." I heard a sleepy voice come from the bed and I looked up, as I felt tears fall from my eyes and move down my cheeks.

Oh great, I couldn't start crying already. I needed to be together for this, I needed to make him believe that I meant it and not make him think I was putting on the waterworks for my own benefit. That wasn't it though, these tears weren't for me, they were because I was scared to lose him. I could handle whatever happened to me, but I couldn't stand to hurt him anymore.

"Hey yourself. You should go back to sleep you know. It's still really early and the snow is still coming down pretty hard. There's no need to be in any hurry." I kept my voice at a whisper because I truly wanted him to go back to sleep. I wanted him comfortable and safe and happy always, nothing else would do.

"I didn't like waking up and not knowing where you were. It felt all wrong."

"You know where I am, Edward. I promise not to go anywhere until we go together, okay?" It sounded like he wanted me to get back in bed with him and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why I was resisting. That was totally not the smart thing to do, but it was the only way I felt like I could prove to myself that I was serious about talking about things today and not just sticking my head in the sand like an ostrich. As good as I was at evading the issues, that wasn't going to be the way I worked anymore. If wanted to be a grown up, it was time to start acting like one.

"Bella… please come back."

If only he knew how much those words meant to me.

"Please come back and get more sleep. I'm all too familiar with how ornery you get when you don't get the requisite eight hours. Besides, my feet are cold. I think generator power has affected the strength of the heaters in this place."

"Ahhhh, the truth comes out. It's not me you miss, it's my body heat. I see how it is." I unfolded out of my little ball and stood up from the chair, walking over to the bed and pulling the covers back, but avoided looking at Edward. I also kept the hoodie on… and my undies. Why risk temptation, right? I got in the bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to be respectful and appropriate while half naked. It was doable.

"I've never lied to you, Bella."

"I know, Edward. I know." And this time, I knew he was talking about more than just this particular situation. "Go back to sleep. We'll talk when it's not an obscene hour to be awake."

"Come closer."

I scooted over a few inches until my pinkie touched his and curled around it.

"Closer."

There was elbow contact.

"A little more."

"Edward, I…" God, how could I say what I wanted to say without sounding completely heartless and well, completely stupid?

"Shhhh, Bella. I know. We'll talk later. I just want to be as close to you as possible right now, with no interruptions, no distractions, no nuthin'."

"Anything," I giggled.

"Shut up," he mumbled into the top of my head as he pulled me over to rest on his chest. I kept my hands up where I could see them, knowing full well that he was still naked under the covers and _right there_. "Much better," he whispered and as I lay there and listened to his breathing even out, I realized that snow or no snow, tacky hotel room or not, there was nowhere on this earth that I'd rather be at that moment.

I'd been lucky enough to have Edward as my best friend and as my boyfriend. Some people don't get to experience love like that ever, much less at seventeen and eighteen years old. I'd almost lost him and if I was lucky enough to get him back in whatever capacity, I was bound and determined never to risk that happening again. Ever. As the thoughts of everything we'd gone through together started to play back through my mind like a slide show, I felt my eyelids grow heavy again, and with Edward's heartbeat as my lullaby, I fell back asleep in his arms.

Best. Snowstorm. Ever.

I didn't dream at all after I fell back asleep. Well, I can't say that for certain, but I definitely didn't remember anything if I had dreamt. I slept hard and well for the first time in over a month, and if it weren't for the fingers I felt running through the ends of my hair, I'd probably still be asleep. It was very faint, almost like it wasn't there at all; I wasn't sure he even realized what he was doing.

I nuzzled in closer to him, burrowing into his chest and wrapping my arms around him tighter. His hands froze, confirming that he wasn't trying to wake me up, but since I was, he might as well continue.

"Don't stop."

Nothing.

"Please?"

Still nothing.

"I'll beg if I have to."

This situation was getting dangerously close to being inappropriate and while I was comfortable with the hidden innuendos and awkward humor, it was not the time and I knew it. Eventually though, he put his hand back and the combing continued.

"Such a good boy." Fuck, it stopped again. "Sorry," I giggled.

"Sometimes I wonder about you Bella," he finally spoke after a few minutes of blissful silence and gentle innocent touches. I went to prop myself up on my elbows, but when he let out a gasp of pain because apparently an elbow in the sternum didn't feel all that great, I ended up resting my chin on my hands and looking at him.

Edward had a very beautiful chin. And needed to shave, he was getting just a little bit of scruff, but it was past the sandpaper stage and was just right. Yeah, I had to move so with a huff I flung myself over to the other side of the bed and stared at the ceiling willing myself to stop acting like a fool because that was the easy way out. It was time to talk, and while I knew it was risky considering we were more than likely stuck at this hotel for at least one more night, I knew that if it didn't happen now, it wouldn't happen at all. So I closed my eyes, held my nose, and jumped in feet first.

"We need to talk."

"I know we do." Edward started to sit up and my eyes were immediately drawn to his naked torso as it slowly emerged from the covers. Yeah, I totally needed to get out of this bed.

I jumped up and ran over to my suitcase where I pulled out the yoga pants I had intended to wear last night. After I had them on, I walked over to the ugly chair and sat down again. Edward still hadn't moved and was still gloriously half-naked on the bed. Wait, he hadn't been up since last night, so he was STILL naked. Ungh.

There was no way I was going to be able to focus with him over there like that. No way. It was making me nervous and distracted and I really, really wanted to go over there and get back in bed with him, but no. No. No. No. No. No.

The look on his face totally let me know he knew exactly what he was doing. Evil little shit.

"What?"

I just looked at him, feeling the blush start to creep over my face. Why was this making me so nervous? I'd seen him naked before and hopefully I'd see him naked again. I could close my eyes and see him naked. Okay, so closing my eyes then was a no-no.

"Um, do you think you can put some clothes on? You're kind of… well, naked still and that's um… that's making it kind of difficult for me to focus and…" I looked up at him and saw him fighting back a smirk, but he couldn't hide the twinkle in his eyes. Gah, this whole not closing my eyes thing was proving to be just as difficult. Open, I see him teasing me, all twinkly and smirky with bed head. Closed, I see him naked. I needed to go look out the window… or go outside and cool off.

"I kinda can't get out of bed right now, Swan."

I just looked at him for a second completely confused. "See, waking up with you laying across me and then seeing you walk across the room in nothing but my sweatshirt…well, let's just say you're not the only one having a hard time this morning."

Oh.

_Oh._

Immediately my eyes were drawn to where the covers met his body and… _oh._

"You know, looking isn't helping matters."

Jesus fuck, this was not starting out the way I had hoped. I felt like a complete bumbling fool, of course he needed some privacy but it wasn't like I could go for a drive and come back.

Oooh, coffee. I could go get some coffee. "Oh, right. Yeah. How about this? I'll go walk down to the restaurant and see what they have for breakfast. Surely they have cereal or something. You do," I waved my hands in some vague manner, "whatever it is you need to do and I'll be back in twenty. Is that enough time?"

I thought I heard him mutter two minutes under his breath before he finally nodded. So, I threw on my shoes, pulled my hair back in a ponytail and went to see if I could find something to eat. And possibly regain my composure.

Twenty-three minutes later, I was willing to err on the side of too much time instead of not enough, I got back to the room. As soon as I opened the door, I was hit with the scent of shampoo and the humidity of an incredibly hot shower. Edward was standing over by the window watching the snow that was _still_ falling and I went over to join him. "I'm sorry." I handed him a cup of coffee and we both took a few sips in silence, as I clutched my anxiously.

"Bella, I…"

"No wait. Let me do this. I should have done this a long time ago. I'm sorry. For everything." Suddenly with those four words, I was no longer nervous, I was no longer afraid and I was no longer avoiding. It felt right.

"I think deep down inside, I knew you were right from the get go and it was my stupid, stupid pride that kept me from admitting it. So many things changed for us at the same time, and while that's a pretty shitty excuse, I latched on to it and got carried away. Yes, I went to London and tasted independence. Yes, I loved it and wanted more. I still do, in fact. I don't know what made me think that those weeks made me this whole new person… it was a fucking exchange program. I was hardly international at that point. I don't know, maybe I should have started smaller and tried to go to Oregon for a few weeks instead. Who knows?"

"I fell in love with the freedom to be who I'd always wanted to be. I was Bella. Not the Police Chief's or Renee's daughter. Not the smart girl or the sweet girl or the good girl. I was not your best friend or the third wheel to your and Emmett's bromance."

"Hey," Edward jumped in, clearly taking offence to me making fun of his friendship with Emmett.

"Can I finish please?" Edward nodded as I continued on. "For the first time in my life, the decisions I made affected me and me alone. But what I failed to see, as I was blinded by the glamour of it all, was that just because I found who I wanted to be, it didn't mean that I had to ignore everything that made me who I am."

I took a few sips of my coffee, allowing me to catch my breath and organize my thoughts. It was true that the whole London thing was overplayed, but if I was going to spill it, I had to start at the source. I took his hand and pulled him away from the window and to the bed, where I sat down and patted the space beside me. As long as we stayed vertical, we'd be fine.

"You were right about Liam."

His eyes got really wide for a second and I could see his hands start to tighten around the Styrofoam cup. I took the coffee away from him for a second so he wouldn't inadvertently burn himself, and then I continued.

"Shhh. Nothing happened. I totally overreacted that night in the HUB when that girl came over and asked about your plans. I shouldn't have. We weren't together, you had every right to move on, but it just caught me off guard. I was hurt and wanted to prove to myself that I was right to make myself feel better, and it totally backfired."

"Did he…"

"No. No, nothing like that. We went to dinner, he got obnoxious and I haven't seen or heard from him since. My assumption is that he may have an appointment with a plastic surgeon over Christmas. Oh, and I may or may not be banned from the Thai restaurant… I'm not sure."

"Anyway, I wanted to tell you that night. In fact, I went to your room but it wasn't the right time and I didn't have the right words and I don't know, you deserved… hell you still deserve, so much better than that. I should have just trusted in what we had instead of making assumptions. I jumped to conclusions even after all the years we've been friends and there is nothing I can say or do to undo it, though I will do everything I can to make sure it never happens again. I need to have you in my life in whatever capacity I can."

"Bella…"

"I've thought so much about what I wanted to say when we finally sat down and talked and I feel like I'm just talking in circles. So many things I want to tell you and apologize for and try to fix and…"

"Bella…"

"Like the night I got the tattoo, when Angela was so snarky. That was totally unfair of her to go off on you like that. You didn't know what I was feeling because we hadn't talked. She only knew what I had told her and it was hardly impartial. It wasn't fair to you or her to put either of you in that situation…"

"Bella…"

"The funny thing is that out of everybody, I got the best advice from the two people that I didn't talk to. Renee and Alice… go figure. A nutcase and an eight almost nine year old, neither of which had any true idea of what went on. That was another thing I wanted to apo…"

"BELLA"

Oh. Yeah. I guess I was a little out of control there for a second, but I had so many things to say and I just got caught up in the momentum that, well, oops. I looked up at Edward through unspilled tears and grinned, hoping that he wasn't angry and believed me when I said I was sorry.

Because I was sorry.

So, so sorry.

I needed to keep going, there was more for us to talk about, but before I could start again, Edward shifted towards the middle of the bed and sat cross-legged as he pulled me until I was sitting as his mirror-image, knee to knee.

"I've heard everything you've had to say, and I appreciate it. Really, I do… you have no idea how much. But this was not only your fault and your wrong doing and your mistake and the way you were talking concerns me. Don't take this the wrong way, but you have a little bit of your mother in you and, stop looking at me like that, just hear me out." He grinned and in spite of the part of me that was somewhat irritated that he said I was like Renee I grinned back. "You have to admit it, once you chisel away the part of you that is epically stubborn, you are a bit of a free spirit. And while I'm no geneticist, I'm pretty damned certain you did _not_ get that from Charlie."

Very true, the craziest Charlie got was when he wore deck shoes without socks during the summer.

"I should have thought about my word choices and how it would sound to you. To me, it sounded completely logical, but I can see how you would think I was trying to take over your life, but can you blame me for wanting to keep you all to myself?"

_Swoon. _

"I finally had everything I had ever wanted and all I saw was this strange guy who I didn't know, but got to share an incredible and personal experience with you that I would never get to replicate. A guy who made it completely obvious, to me and everybody else on the planet that he wanted in your pants. I'm sorry, but I won't apologize for having an issue with that. The way I handled it, absolutely. I would never, _ever,_ try and keep you from something or someone that means something to you Bella. I love you. You and your quirks and word vomit and passion for everything. I envy your joie de vivre."

_God, he's hot when he speaks French. So not the time._

"As for Angela, I don't even remember what she said. All I remember hearing is that you had a tattoo and that I couldn't see it. I've known Angela for a long time and if she said something caustic, then odds are it was deserved. Now Liam… as far as I'm concerned, he's gone. I would, however, have loved to have seen you take him down. I wonder if the restaurant has it on their security tapes? Maybe we could get it uploaded to YouTube or something?"

"I don't think that restaurant would give let me in their doors, let alone have access to their security tapes," we laughed as Edward reached forward and grabbed my hand, holding it in both of his and rubbing small circles on the back of it with both thumbs.

I started down at our hands together and was overwhelmed with emotions and hope. "I don't know what happens here. I do know that we need some time to figure things out and learn how to be together, how to grow together and how to work together, otherwise it's just going to happen again. Honestly, I'm not sure I can survive that. I can't even begin to describe how miserable I've been. It wouldn't surprise me if Emmett moved out while we've been gone, not that he sleeps anywhere but in Rosalie's room anyway. Hell, once the semester is over and they don't have to be all incognito and shit, I'll probably never see him again."

He was right. If we were going to get back together, we needed to start over and do it differently. "We need to talk, to tell each other what's going on and how we feel. No more assumptions and jumping to conclusions. No more reacting first, thinking later."

"I actually have an issue with that last little bit."

I looked at him in confusion because I thought that was exactly what he was saying. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "After last night, you can react that way any time you want."

Thank _God_ it was still snowing because I didn't want us going anywhere.

**EPOV**

After we finished our coffees in the hotel room, Bella and I made our way down to the restaurant together, hoping to get some information on the storm and some food. We discovered that although the snow was starting to slow a bit, it wasn't expected to completely stop until the evening. Chloe, the woman running the hotel, gave us a deck of cards to pass the time and Bella and I spent the afternoon sitting in our room playing different card games as we continued to talk about what had happened between us.

I was shocked that Bella had apologized to me shortly after I woke up, but I was even more surprised she said I was right about Liam. If I was being honest, I never thought I would hear her say that at all. As she spoke about them going on a date, I began to plot out horrible ways to torture Liam for playing such a big role in splitting us up. If it wasn't for him, things probably wouldn't have spiraled out of control the way they did. Bella was truly apologetic about everything, so as we sat on the bed eating some hot wings for dinner, I decided it was time I said something serious about our break up.

"So, this morning was good cause we were so open with each other…"

"I sense a but," Bella said as she straightened up and stared me down with a worried expression on her face. I reached forward and tried to smooth out the anxious lines on her forehead and between her eyes.

"I just think we need a game plan, so we can try to avoid this shit in the future. Like I said this morning, I don't think I could survive if we tried again and we both fucked it all up."

"Okay… a game plan. How about I shut up and trust you?"

"Well, I like that idea in theory, but it doesn't fix anything really, right?" Bella nodded her head gently as I spoke again. "I think we should go slowly, if we are going to do this again."

"We aren't doing this?" Bella questioned as she motioned between the two of us with shaky fingers. "I guess we didn't really decide what we were going to do right? Just that we need to go slow and figure shit out."

"Do you want to date me again?"

"Yes!" she shouted emphatically as she smacked her hand over her mouth in embarrassment and I laughed happily. I had really missed this side of Bella. The playful, easygoing girl with the naturally sarcastic sense of humor that I fell in love with. I wanted that girl back.

"Well I really want that too, but maybe we should just spend some time together when we get back to school, and I could maybe take you on a date when we get back to Forks, since we'll be so busy with school before winter break and all that shit, right?" I heard Bella let out a huge sigh of disappointment and I reached my hand over and entwined my fingers with hers. "We can't go back to what we were before, Bells. We need to figure out how it works for us now, at school and with people who clearly don't want us together. But I also don't want to rush anything and ruin us again."

"By rushing you mean like last night?"

"Well no… last night was… it was beyond anything I ever expected, and I really liked seeing a bolder side of you, but I think we shouldn't have sex for a bit. Just until we're more comfortable being together. I don't want sex to be the band-aid that fixes us, even though it was an awesome band-aid." I was an idiot. What the hell was I doing denying myself sex with the girl of my dreams? Sure, we had it less than 12 hours ago, but it was mind-blowing, it always was, but we couldn't have the sex become the reason we get back together.

Suddenly, Bella's phone began ringing and I cleaned up our left over dinner as she started talking animatedly to her mother. "Yes Mom… we're doing just fine… he's being a complete gentleman," Bella said with a wink in my direction. "No, we're not stupid enough to leave tonight." Bella covered her hand over the receiver and handed the phone to me as I looked at her confused. "Charlie wants to talk to you."

I clutched the phone nervously as Bella smiled from ear to ear. "Hi Charlie," I said tensely, feeling like I was about to puke. Before I dated Bella, Charlie was just a regular guy to me, my dad's best friend. However, when Bella came back from Europe and they found out we were dating, Charlie suddenly seemed threatening to me. Then again, it was probably my imagination overreacting because I had deflowered his daughter on his wife's car. He would definitely string me up by my nuts if he knew that.

"Evening Edward. I just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going."

"Uh… as well as can be expected considering we are snowed in."

"Are you guys bored?"

"Nope. The power came back on just before we had dinner, so we have the TV to watch now. Bella's had the news coverage on trying to get info on the road conditions."

"Smart girl. I knew I raised her right."

"Yes you did, Charlie."

"Before you leave tomorrow, if you are allowed to leave of course, make sure you have some supplies in the car like a blanket, some food and some kitty litter to help get you out of trouble if you get stuck in the snow."

"Uh… I already have all of that Charlie. You were the one who made my mother buy that winter roadside assistance kit for my car last summer, remember?" I heard Bella laugh in the background as my cell phone began ringing and she grabbed it, talking to the person on the other end. As Bella's smile grew and she chattered on incessantly, I could tell she was talking to my mother. It's like they all had an internal clock set to intrude on us.

"Well I'm glad to hear that Edward. I trust you to take care of my baby girl," he said stoically as I nodded my head, even though he couldn't see it.

"Yes sir."

"Alright then. Good night, Edward. Tell Bella we'll call in the morning to check in on you guys."

"Will do."

As soon as the phone clicked, signaling the end of our call, I breathed out a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, when I looked back to Bella, she was pacing the room talking to my mother about Alice's condition and laughing. Thankfully my mother was placated with talking only to Bella and shortly after they ended the call, we decided to just curl up in bed and watch movie after Bella told me that Alice was doing much better and she was finally home. All the movie options sucked, being that it was so close to Christmas and the channel selection in the hotel was slim to none, so we ended up watching 'The Ref'. It was about as festive as I was willing to get, and 10 minutes into the movie, Bella was fast asleep with her head buried against my chest as I stroked her hair softly until I slipped into the same deep slumber.

We finally left the hotel the next morning after it took me almost an hour to clear all the snow off the car and make space around it for us to get in. The roads were a bit slippery, but we took our time and got back to campus almost three hours after we left. Bella and I bid each other a quick farewell as we headed off to our own rooms, and I felt a bit remorseful about leaving her, but we had agreed on moving slowly.

So, for the next two weeks I saw her every now and again around campus and we'd chat, but never anything too long while we were out in public. Sometimes at night we would agree to go to the library together to do our studying for our papers or exams that were coming up. Emmett, Siobhan and Rosalie came with us every now and again, but never stayed as long as we did. Bella and I always stayed until the library closed, simply because we needed the extra time. Half of the time we were together we were staring anxiously at the other person, flirting without saying anything, and it made studying very hard. It made other things hard too, but I never once mentioned that to Bella.

On December 21st, Emmett, Bella and I packed up the car to head back to Forks since Bella and I both had an exam that morning. The exam passed slowly as I was distracted about what would happen when we got back to Forks. Bella and I had agreed the previous weekend to go out on a date on Wednesday night, since we were supposed to spend Christmas Eve at a party with both of our families, yet another Cullen / Swan Family tradition.

As we waited downstairs for Bella to bring her last bag, I had a brief conversation with Emmett and let him know in no uncertain terms, that he was sitting in the backseat. He grumbled and complained that it would be too crowded for his burly frame, but I didn't care. I wasn't backing down on this issue. I wanted Bella sitting beside me and when Emmett finally got into the back seat as Bella exited the front door of the dorm, I felt a vindicated and relieved. Bella was a much better passenger that Emmett.

"Did anyone check the weather before we left? I don't want to be holed up somewhere with you too because of a freak snowstorm or inland hurricane. Ooh maybe a huge sinkhole will open up in Port Angeles and swallow all three of us," Emmett chimed in from the backseat as I pulled out of the parking lot and Bella immediately plugged her iPod in. It was weird, since she generally preferred to use mine in the car, but I didn't complain. She could turn the wheel into oncoming traffic at that moment and I wouldn't care, cause she smelled so damn good.

"Clear weather according to the chief, Emmett. Just sit back and relax."

"Easy for you to say, you got the front seat," Emmett grumbled as I grabbed the lever to push my seat back all the way. "Hey, that's not funny."

"Well then shut the fuck up. You are getting a free ride home for Christmas." Emmett mumbled something else under his breath and I did my best to ignore him as the music started in the car and Emmett began to laugh and cough loudly behind me.

"Is this… the Backstreet Boys?" More howls of laughter filled the car as Bella stared straight ahead with a smile on her face, clutching the iPod like a lifeline. I tried not to smile too broadly, but I couldn't help it.

"This was the first song we ever danced to together. Grade 4 Valentines' Day dance at Forks Elementary, right?" Bella just nodded her head as Emmett's laughs finally subsided in the background and I tried not to sing along to the song. I never admitted to Bella but after the dance I bought the CD and played 'As Long As You Love Me' on repeat for like four months straight. Well, in the privacy of my room, that was it. I never told anyone about it. I wasn't stupid.

The next hour or so continued along the same way. Bella would play a song from her iPod that reminded me of something from our past and we would talk happily about it, ignoring the sarcastic or disparaging comments from Emmett in the background. When 'Tenderness' by General Public came on, Emmett couldn't help but sing along as Bella and I chuckled in the front seat at how enthusiastic he was.

Bella looked at me anxiously when we passed the Sequim Bay Lodge where we had stayed during the snowstorm, but I just gave her a wink as 'Keep on Loving You' by REO Speedwagon came on and I immediately broke out into loud laughter. "I take it you remember this song?"

"Who could forget Renee and Esme getting plastered at the Town of Forks July 4th festivities three years ago and singing this song at the top of their lungs on the small stage," Emmett remarked from the backseat as he too was laughing incessantly. "Didn't one of your mom's try to take her top off?"

"That would be Renee," Bella blushed. "Charlie jumped on stage and got her re-dressed before too much skin was shown, thankfully. I really think it was one of her prouder moments. That and some shit that went down at a Rick Springfield concert with Esme back in college."

"Didn't Newton hit on you that night?"

"He used to hit on me every chance he got," Bella remarked as I grumbled in frustration, remembering all the times I heard Newton flirt or compliment Bella all through high school. He was one of her more persistent suitors, and up until graduation he was relentless. I hated each and every guy that went on a date with Bella in school because I couldn't get up the nerve to ask her. I could hang out with her for hours on end and spend holidays with her family, but I couldn't ask her to McDonald's for a damn McFlurry.

In hindsight though, I think we were always meant to go this route – with Europe, college and probably even Liam. I wasn't pleased at how things went, but if it meant I was going to get Bella back in my life in whatever way she wanted to be, then I would be happy. Hell, if she was my girlfriend again, I would be fucking over the moon ecstatic.

"Are we almost there?" Emmett piped up from the backseat, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Dude, you know how the route goes. We've driven it hundreds of times. Yes, we are almost there," Bella snapped at him as he suddenly started screaming out for the music to stop.

"For the love of all that is holy… shut this shit off." The song had changed to 'Viva Forever' by the Spice Girls and Emmett clearly wasn't enjoying it. As I looked in the rearview mirror, his hands were clasped firmly over his ears and he was shouting 'na na na na I can't hear you.' Of course, Bella and I ignored him because I knew exactly how much this song meant to her.

Shortly after Alice had been born, my mother took a shower and left Bella and I to keep a listen for her while she napped. We had been playing video games in my room when a four month old Alice woke up screaming bloody murder. Bella went in and rocked her to sleep while singing that song to her and I watched from the doorway completely in awe at how comfortable Bella was with my little sister. After that whenever my mother had trouble getting Alice to rest, she would sing the song to her and little Alice would pass right out.

We passed the 'Forks' sign just as the song ended and Emmett breathed a sigh of relief. I stopped at his house first and we did that half hug thing that guys do and we agreed to talk later in the week. When I got back into the car, knowing full well we only had a few minutes till we got to Bella's house, I grabbed her iPod and switched to a song I wanted her to hear. Of course as I looked down at the iPod, I smiled as I saw the song was next on her playlist, which was called ECLips. Curious.

I had seen the playlist before when I swiped her iPod last June before she went to Europe, but I had been so focused on my goal that I hadn't paid much attention to it. Now though, I was very interested in it.

Before I had a chance to find the song I wanted, 'A Message' by Coldplay came on and I noticed Bella watching me from the corner of her eye, both of us smiling brightly. I reached over and threaded my fingers through hers as we drove down Emmett's street and around the corner towards the Swan house. "What's with the playlist?"

"Uh… what?" Bella choked out as I motioned towards her iPod between us.

"ECLips. It's a bit of an odd name for a playlist don't you think?"

"No, I think its self explanatory really," Bella said simply as we pulled up in front of her house and she immediately began to get out. I followed suit and opened the trunk for her as she stood anxiously beside the car. She had taken her iPod out of the car, so I realized I wouldn't know what the next song would be.

"What's the next song?"

"Coldplay again."

"What song, Bella?" I asked as she grabbed her bags from the trunk and clutched them anxiously in her hands as I noticed she was biting her bottom lip. I closed the trunk and watched as she began to move towards her front door.

"Green Eyes."

A grin grew across my face as the name finally hit me… EC Lips. Edward Cullen Lips.

All those songs had reminded her of me. Bella had her own playlist for me, and it wasn't new. She had it for months, before the summer even. I turned to look at her again, but Bella was already dashing up the front steps as Renee opened the front door to greet her. Her mother waved at me happily as Bella called out to me.

"See you tomorrow night, Green Eyes."


	30. Home

**CPW: I know it's been a while since we updated, right?**

**Risbee: I think a while is an understatement**

**CPW: yeah I know, but I had RL shit to attend to that seems to have settled, at least for the holidays.**

**Risbee: Thank fucking god.**

**CPW: I know right. **

**Risbee: I'm hoping this chapter makes up for the lack of updates lately.**

**CPW: We don't own Twilight, but I am the owner of a new MacBook Pro so now I can write anywhere.**

**Risbee: I love that you aren't tethered anymore. Now, onto the chapter!**

**BPOV**

God, it was good to be home.

My bed didn't have lumps, I didn't have to throw various objects at a snoring Siobhan and my exams were over. Best of all, I had a date with Edward. Granted, I hadn't decided what we were going to do, but who cared as long as we were together, right?

Things with Edward were good. Really, really good in fact. After our confessional in the hotel room a few weeks ago, we both took a few steps back to re-evaluate our relationship. There was no doubt in my mind, after everything was said and done, that we were going to be okay, but we both realized that if we continued down the same completely misguided path we had been on over the past few months, things wouldn't end well. Well that, and they would end, which neither of us wanted. He still loved me. I still loved him. It would all work out.

When I thought back over the past few weeks, honestly the timing couldn't have been more perfect. We had the end of the semester to get through and finals, which meant that we had just enough free time to start the reconnection process, but we were so busy with school work that we didn't have time to obsess or over analyze each other's thoughts or actions. Okay, who was I kidding – _I_ didn't have time to obsess or over analyze. At the most, we had time for a dinner or a quick study break, maybe a movie if we had been really productive that day… but that was it. It was good to be simple. For us, simplicity was the best thing that could have ever happened to us.

Holding hands, small kisses and even little smiles meant so much more when that was all we had to give. He made my heart flutter again and there were moments when I even felt shy around him. I had forgotten what it was like to have a crush on him and it was blissful. It was also a bit torturous. I know I had agreed to the whole no sex thing, but while my head and my heart knew it was the right thing, my hormones were about to stage a mutiny.

Speaking of mutinies, I may have wondered what Edward would look like dressed as a pirate. He could shiver my timbers anytime he wanted. See what I mean?

By the time we got back to Forks, I was about to crawl out of my skin I wanted him so bad. Maybe it was the relief of knowing our exams were over, maybe it was the fact that we were returning to where it all started for us or maybe it was just being in a car with him since somehow car sex had sort of become a thing for us.

Damn you, Emmett. Why did he have to ride back with us? At the same time, thank you Emmett.

Regardless, I had a feeling I was in for an internal struggle of epic proportions before this sexbargo of sorts was over.

After Edward dropped me off, I walked inside my house to find Renee and Charlie in the living room watching 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'. They were snuggled together on the couch and it made my heart swell with happiness seeing them so content. For a split second Renee looked like she wanted to bounce off the couch like a Jack Russell terrier when she saw me, but with a gently placed hand on her shoulder she seemed to make her change her mind. I was a little envious that my parents didn't even need words to communicate with each other. They were simply two halves of a whole.

As if she could read my mind, she patted the space beside her on the couch and motioned for me to join them. While a part of me felt a little guilty for intruding on their moment, it was good to have some quality family time. We used to do things like this together, but as I got older and school got more and more demanding, the opportunities became more and more infrequent. Well that and I decided that my friends were more exciting… and by friends, I meant Edward.

Jesus, I couldn't go two seconds without thinking about him.

We spent the next hour or so just talking, laughing and I felt the slightest bit guilty when I received a text from Angela and she sounded so frantic while I felt so at ease. Apparently, she had spent the past four hours helping Ben find a Christmas present for his mother and she needed to decompress. She was also terrified about what Ben may have decided to give her for Christmas – he kept trying to get her to pick out a Precious Moments figurine out of the display case in Hallmark. I felt sorry for that poor girl, but I knew I'd feel even sorrier for Ben if that was in fact what he decided to get her. So much so that I sent an email to Edward asking him to discreetly intervene.

Any excuse to be in touch with him.

"Bella, I swear. I don't know what he would have done without me. That poor woman would have ended up with a membership in the 'Meat of the Month Club'." Angela was lying on her stomach on my bed, flipping through the latest issue of People magazine trying to recover from her marathon shopping day. She finally convinced Ben to get his mom a gift certificate from a local spa and call it a day. I hadn't heard back from Edward yet, so Angela's' gift was still up in the air.

I sat up from my spot on the floor, choking on my bottled water. "Shut up. 'Meat of the Month' club? Isn't that a little strange for somebody to give their mom?" I was picturing this nasty calendar of greased up men that looked like the guys from Olivia Newton-John's 'Let's Get Physical' video and it was more than a bit terrifying.

"He was trying to justify it by saying that she loved to cook and that since it came from a meat distributor that she'd get sent cuts that she couldn't find at Thriftway. Bella, he just didn't see the wrongness of it at all. Finally, FINALLY he got it when I said 'So basically you want your mom to get sausage for Christmas?' I felt so dirty, but he just wouldn't listen. Precious Moments and frozen beef. Jesus, if we end up getting married, I am so fucked." She flung herself back on the bed and covered her face with the magazine.

All I could do was apologize and laugh because really, what else was there.

"You know you're jealous. It's totally understandable." She giggled before looking at me with a serious expression on her face and I knew what was coming. "So… you and Edward. You two are okay then?"

"Yeah, we are." If we were truly going to keep this relationship between the two of us, I didn't want to go into much detail about everything, but I did feel like I needed to give her a bare bones explanation of what was going on. Especially since she had spent weeks listening to me rant and complain when things weren't so good. "We talked about everything and neither one of us were willing to give up. So, we're taking these couple of weeks where we're home to basically start our relationship over." I started going through my closet looking for something to wear for our date. "No problems, no outsiders, just the two of us remembering why we've been best friends since birth and rediscovering the rest. With my leaving the country, we really didn't get that the first time around. The week before I left was probably the best part of our relationship and I'm on a mission to recreate it. Unfortunately," I gestured towards the window, "the weather isn't exactly cooperating with me."

"I'm not following."

"The week before I left, he was perfect. We went to the playground at the elementary school, we looked through photos and he stole my iPod." I felt a blush creep across my face as I realized that he finally understood the ECLips title. See, he made me weak kneed again. I couldn't wait to see him tomorrow. "No grand gestures, just simplicity… that's what we are and that's what I want to recreate for our date tomorrow."

"Bella, how do you feel about the Griswold's?"

I looked at her and grinned widely because there was a reason I adored that girl so much. "Angela Weber, you are a genius."

"Let me handle everything, Bella. You just get that boy over here by six thirty tomorrow night and I'll make your date so sweet you'll both have cavities."

Every Christmas season, Reverend Weber's church did a fund raiser for Open Door Ministries. What originally was started as a fancy schmancy, yet weakly attended, Holiday Homes tour that stressed out the women of Forks for months eventually evolved into a Tacky Tinsel tour. Originally it was just a chance for the women of Forks to get their homes decorated and people could come in and see what was what, but some of the men decided to take matters into their own hands and started decorating the outside. Eventually their efforts started getting more attention than the inside and a new tradition was born. It was simple, it was easy, it was for a good cause and it was perfect.

I crashed early that night and woke up feeling refreshed and hopeful. The sun was brightly shining, it wasn't terribly cold outside and Edward would be here in just over nine hours. I couldn't wait to see him. I also couldn't wait another minute to talk to him, so I called him. Ever since we woke up together in the hotel room I had developed this overwhelming need to hear his sleepy voice. It was calming and soothing, and well… it was fucking hot. Somehow I found a reason to call him every morning and as I hit send on my cell, I wondered if he had figured me out.

The way he answered the phone did not disappoint.

"Morning, Bella."

Unf. Score. Shiver.

"Hey, E." Suddenly, I realized that I really didn't have anything to say to him. I mean the only reason I called him was to hear his voice, but it wasn't like I could openly admit that to him. I scrambled for something to talk about, but my mind went blank. Fuck you, silence. Fuck. You.

"Um, is everything okay?" He seemed a little concerned and I shrugged on my end. Shrugging? Seriously, I get him on the phone, I hear his voice and I go mute. It's not like he could even see me shrug. We didn't have a damned video phone.

"Yup." Shrugging then yupping. Awesome.

"Are you sure?" I could hear him stretching in his bed and suddenly I found my keys in my hand and one of my shoes on. Apparently my subconscious was on auto pilot.

"No." I said to myself throwing the keys across the room.

"No?"

"No!" I corrected myself, "I mean yes to you, no to me." Was it too late for me to pretend I dialed the wrong number?

"Talking to yourself again? I thought you ditched the imaginary friend back in seventh grade."

"Somebody thinks they're funny this morning. It wasn't seventh grade, it was kindergarten and Sally got me through some tough times like that whole 'Santa Claus isn't real shit.' Anyway, yes, I'm sure that everything is fine. I was just saying no to something else."

"Wait… Santa Claus isn't real?" He started laughing in his sleepy voice and damn if my other shoe didn't magically appear on my foot. "Just so you know, I miss you too, Bella."

Yup, he totally knew what I was doing.

We stayed on the phone for a few more minutes, neither one of us saying anything, but neither one of us wanting to disconnect either. I watched a man walk his dog down the street, I watched a squirrel dig in Renee's flower pot on the front steps and I listened to him breathe. When I looked in the mirror and realized that I had put on my coat without realizing it, I had a moment of brilliance. "Do you want to go get some breakfast?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.

"Actually, I can't." My good mood deflated like a balloon and there may or may not have been tears forming. "Mom and dad went to Port Angeles to do some last minute Christmas shopping. I'm here with Alice and I can't leave her. What if you came over here instead?"

"I'm not very pretty this morning."

"B, you know I always think you're beautiful." My mind flew to the pumpkin waffle mix I brought home from Seattle to give to mom for Christmas morning. Eh, she'd probably burn them anyway, so I was sold on the idea.

"I'm on my way." It didn't matter that I was still in my pajamas; he'd seen me in them before. It didn't matter that my hair looked like a bird's nest. All that mattered was that I was going to see _my_ Edward. I packed up the pumpkin mix, grabbed some other odds and ends out of the kitchen and packed up a bag. Renee was watching me, opening and closing her mouth like a fish. I could see the wheels turning and I knew that she wanted to say something but couldn't.

"Yes, I'm going to go see Edward and before you get all squeeish because I know you already know that his parents aren't there, Alice is, so don't get any crazy ideas or birth control lectures ready." She started to look offended but I stopped her. "Do I need to remind you about my coming home party?"

"No." At least she pretended to look ashamed but try as she might, she couldn't hide the gleam in her eye or the twitch of her mouth. Still, I had to give her credit, Renee showed tremendous restraint, which in all my life I had never known her to do.

"I won't be long. We're going out with Angela and Ben tonight, but I just needed to see him sooner. I can't explain it, I just do."

She looked at me for a second then smiled. "You know what Bella? You and Edward don't need any advice or any help from me or anybody else. You two are going to be just fine." Her voice cracked a bit at the end and she hurried from the room mumbling something about glitter and Lee Press On Nails. I was pretty sure I didn't want to know what the hell she was rambling on about.

I pulled into the Cullen's driveway fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with Edward. He met me at the door, opening it before I even had a chance to knock. He may have been laughing at me, but something in his face told me that he was as excited to see me as I was to see him. "Where's Alice?" I asked as he pulled me into a warm hug. I dropped the bag of groceries I was carrying and wrapped my arms around him. Eh, I was sure Esme had eggs if I needed them.

"You're really asking me about Alice?"

"No." I felt his body against mine. One hand in my hair, one around my waist. My face rested on his chest, under his chin and I could feel his heartbeat. I could feel his chest, I could feel his hips pressing into mine, and I could feel his… well, hello there.

Yup, I knew he was excited to see me. Of course the twelve year old trapped inside of me giggled because I was awesome like that and he totally busted me.

"Sorry." He grinned at me before moving back and turning from me, trying to discreetly arrange things. I'd offer to help, but that would totally be against 'the rules'. Really, there was only one other way to handle things.

"So, what's up?"

I totally went there. I couldn't help myself and when he glared at me in mock irritation, I simply shrugged. Picking up the bag at my feet, I walked past him into the kitchen and proceeded to make breakfast. He didn't follow me into the kitchen, in fact, it was a good fifteen minutes before I saw him again… with wet hair, clean clothes and a seemingly relaxed expression on his face.

My eyes narrowed. "You didn't?" Edward just shrugged and loaded his plate with pancakes. "Oh… you did!"

Alice eventually found us, lured by the smell of breakfasty goodness and the three of us ended up watching old episodes of The Snorks and arguing with Alice over the quality of Saturday morning program then verses now. I'd put Muppet Babies up against any of the current programming, there was absolutely no contest.

My phone vibrated with a text and after a quick glance, I smiled and declared that it was time for me to go. Angela would be at my house in thirty minutes and suddenly I had a lot to do and about five hours in which to get it done.

"Where are you going?"

"I've got a few things I need to do before tonight. Just be at my house at six thirty. Dress warmly."

As soon as I got in mom's Camry, I sent a text to Renee and she answered in record time. She may be a flake, she may border on unstable at times, but when I needed her she never failed to come through. Angela arrived in the truck her dad used for the tour and we proceeded to load up the back. By the time we were finished with it, there were so many blankets, pillows and fluffy things to cushion us from the metal of the bed and the cold air that it looked like a marshmallow threw up.

Angela even had the foresight to bring a can of that snow paint stuff that store fronts use on their windows. She sprayed it on the windows on the back of the cab winking. "Just so Ben and I don't see anything we don't need to see."

I knew there wouldn't be any lovin' going on tonight, but I was pretty much counting on some 'accidentally on purpose' gropage. We were going to be in a car after all and it had been weeks.

_Weeks. _

Angela left a little after five to go pick up Ben, which gave me just enough time to take a quick shower, get dressed and inhale a bowl of Cheerios for dinner. It wasn't substantial but it was food and I knew Renee was just happy I ate something. Plus, I wasn't sure I could handle anything more than that on my nervous stomach and I really didn't have the time anyway.

Edward showed up at exactly six thirty and it was all I could do not to jump on him as I watched him walk from his car to my front door. The boy should either be naked or in a pair of jeans. Period.

"Hi."

"Hi." He looked at me for a minute, pinched his nose and then ran back to his car.

Well that was certainly unexpected and I was almost in a panic when I saw him come back around the front of the car carrying something. I squinted but couldn't see what was on the box until he put it my hands looking very pleased with himself.

"You got me a Chia Pet?"

"Gardenias aren't in season."

Okay, so he was officially the cutest guy ever. Did I state EVER emphatically enough?

"So, are you going to tell me what we're doing?" He looked around the room for some sort of hint as to what was going on, but everything was very normal at the Swan house. I grabbed my coat, hat and gloves and started to put them on as I told him about our plans.

"I didn't think the tour started until tomorrow?"

"It doesn't, but Reverend Weber wanted to do a few trial runs and well, I know people. Besides, we go every year anyway. I just thought it would be fun and…" I was starting to get a little nervous about his lack of response.

He walked over to where I was struggling with the buttons on my coat and tilted my chin up, kissing me gently. "Best. Plans. Ever."

When Angela and Ben pulled up in the truck, we piled in the back, and after a tense moment when I lost him in the piles of fluffy goodness, we finally got situated where we could comfortably see the lights adorning the houses in town and enjoy the tackiness that was the Tinsel Tour.

Still, as good as the lights were, there were only so many inflatable Peanuts characters dressed up for the holidays that one could see before getting bored. However, who was I to complain when I felt a hand suddenly appear on my upper thigh, or when I felt a nose nuzzle against the side of my neck.

At one point I think Angela stopped to get coffee, I couldn't tell you for certain. All I knew was that I was in love with my boy and he loved me back and that when it was time to say goodbye for the night I wasn't the only one in need of a cold shower.

**EPOV**

The next morning, I awoke from wonderful dreams filled with images of Bella and me from the night before. Well, I originally woke up when she called just wanting to talk, but she didn't have too much to say other than to confirm if I was wearing socks and what time we were getting together later in the night. I was still on a high from our first date because doing the Tinsel Tour with her had been something that was high on my list of things to do in my lifetime.

Let me rephrase that… groping her while making out in the back of the Weber's truck, while doing the Tinsel Tour was on my list. Last year, it was pure torture for me as I sat beside her and she excitedly talked to me about the houses and their decorations, most of which she was laughing about sarcastically because of their bad attempts at lighting displays and copious usage of blow up cartoon characters. It was like the local hardware store had a discount on Peanuts characters. Good Grief.

We hadn't been together, I had just harbored a major crush over her and wanted her so desperately I still don't understand how I functioned in society, but being in the back of that truck was just… it was pure hell. With each bump on the road, she rubbed against me or would reach out to steady herself. It was all casual for Bella, but so difficult for me.

Going through it all over again this year though, with her knowing how much I loved her, was a completely different situation. There was honest to goodness groping, kissing and some under the clothes petting that made me feel like all the pain I had gone through the year before had been worth it.

"Edward, glad to see you could join the land of the living this morning," my father remarked as I walked into the kitchen, a smile wide on my face. There was no way I could hide it anyways. "I take it you had a good night?"

"You could say that," I remarked as I grabbed a cup of coffee and my mother walked in a moment later, stopping in her tracks as she eyed me up curiously.

"What's with the creepy grin? You look like that Joker guy from that Batman movie."

"I don't look that bad do I?"

"I hate to break to you son, but yeah… it's a little disconcerting. Did you take something last night?"

"No… I don't do drugs, Dad." He raised his eye brow at me, no doubt remembering the time he caught me with some weed that Ben had asked me to hold for him over two years ago. It had been stupid as hell, but Mr. Weber almost caught him with it outside the Thriftway, so he shoved it in my pocket and I forgot about it… for almost a week. "Let's not dwell on that again! I had a good night with Bella is all."

"How good?" my mother snapped.

"Not _that_ good, not that I would tell you anyways. It was very G rated, or maybe PG. Definitely not R or triple X. What's between PG and R? Oh forget it. There was no sex, now let's pretend we never discussed any of this?" My dad continued to look at me with concern on his face as I let out a huge sigh. "I promise, I am not on any drugs."

"He's just in love Carlisle, cut the boy some slack." I thanked my mother with a quick kiss on the cheek and then grabbed some cereal from the cupboard and a huge mixing bowl. I was fricking starving this morning. "I guess I'm getting cereal and milk at the store this morning. I'm not used to having Edward eat me out of house and home again."

"Can you pick up a few things for me?" My mother looked at me curiously, but agreed regardless and I gave her my short list of items as I sat back and began shoveled half a box of Froot Loops into my mouth.

Six hours, and two VERY long showers, later, I found myself knocking anxiously on Bella's front door. Tonight was the Forks Police Annual Christmas Party and since Charlie was the Chief he had to go. Usually, we tagged along but this year we had both bowed out. Last year I went just so I could see Bella dressed like an elf in a rather skin tight outfit, but nothing could beat this year's choice of clothing.

She was wearing a pair of shorts and a very clingy white t-shirt with the words 'Ho, Ho, Ho' written on it in sparkly letters. I couldn't help but stare. "Close your mouth and get in the house or the neighbors will start to worry."

I did as I was told and Bella took my coat and then grabbed my hand, leading me into the kitchen. "So… what are we doing tonight?" I asked as my voice sounded like it did when I was going through puberty, cracking loudly as I watched Bella bend down to get a bowl from the cupboard, shaking her ass at me in the process.

"We're baking."

"We're doing what?" I asked, my eyes focused on her tits and nowhere else. I may have even involuntarily licked my lips before I heard her clear her throat.

"Baking. I promised my mother that as penance for skipping the party, I would start her Christmas baking, so you are helping me. We're gonna make some shortbread, Christmas snickerdoodles and gingerbread men." Bella smiled at me sweetly and I knew I was done for. There was no way I could resist her.

This is what led us to being completely covered in flour almost two hours later. Well, that and when we shoved the last tray of cookies inside the oven, Bella may have grabbed a handful of flour and tossed it at me.

"You can be such a pain in the ass," I laughed as I tried to wipe the flour off of me, albeit unsuccessfully. When I turned around, Bella was standing there with a sly grin on her face and proceeded to dump more flour and some other various left over baking goods on my head. "Let me rephrase that, you are a major pain in the ass."

"Oh come on baby… you can go have a shower." Bella winked at me and grabbed my hand, pulling me up the stairs and into the Swan family bathroom. Yes, there was only one bathroom and I still didn't understand how they managed. "Why don't you get all sparkly clean and I'll come back in a few minutes."

Bella tried to leave, but I grabbed her waist and pulled her against me, shaking flour onto her already dirty t-shirt. "You could always take one with me. The Chief and Renee won't be home for at least two more hours."

"Tempting Edward," Bella said as I kissed her hard on the lips and she moaned as my hand reached up the back of her shirt to find her braless. I knew there was a reason I was staring at her tits more than usual all night. "I need to go clean up the mess though. I'll hurry and we can have some time when you get out of the shower."

With one more quick peck on the lips, Bella was out of the bathroom, closing the door tightly behind her as I growled in frustration. I stripped off my clothes and considered taking matters into my own hands, because I was hard as a rock, but decided it would be a bit gross to do it where the Chief showered. When I got out of the shower, I quickly towel dried myself and my hair before sliding on my jeans, but not my shirt. My initial thought was to go downstairs and help Bella, but as I walked down the hallway, I heard noise in her bedroom and peeked inside, finding her changing into new clothes and wearing just panties and a tank top. The edge of her tattoo was sticking up out of her panties and I may have growled really loudly as my cock took notice.

"See something you like?"

I nodded my head repeatedly as Bella smirked and motioned with her fingers for me to come closer. I dropped my leftover clothes on the chair by her door and literally stalked forward, wrapping my arms around her and grabbing onto her ass as I kissed her deeply. Bella's hands threaded around my neck and up into my hair as I turned her slightly until she was against her bedroom wall and I was pressing my hardness against her. Both of us were panting and struggling to maintain control and before I knew it, I had twisted us around and moved us through the room until I was hovering over her on her bed and she was staring deeply into my eyes.

God I wanted her so much… to just consume her and have her be mine all over again, but there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that made me pull back. Even as I felt Bella's hands fumbling with the button on my jeans, desperate to get them open, I felt horrible. I reached down and stilled her hands as a look of confusion crossed her face.

"We can't do this."

"Renee left her car… do you want to do it there?"

"No baby, we're just not… we're not ready for this yet." I let out a sigh of frustration and pictured myself beating off in the shower again when I got home, displeased by the turn of events, and desperate for release. "It's not me rejecting you, Bella. Please don't think that. I just can't rush this and ruin it. I need for it to work."

Bella sat up on her bed and leaned forward, kissing me sweetly on the lips as she took my hands in hers. "I understand Edward, because as much as I want you… and believe me, I would have let you have me, I don't want there to be any regrets. However, I'm not against more kissing."

"Kissing, I can do." I leaned forward again and pulled Bella into my side as we lay beside each other, staring into the other's eyes as though they held the answer to all of life's questions. My fingers haphazardly began tracing the lines of her tattoo on her hip as we kissed and Bella pulled away looking at me curiously.

"Have you ever thought about getting one?"

"What? A tattoo?"

"Yeah."

"I've considered it… not very seriously though."

"Why not," Bella questioned, as she leaned over her bed to her nightstand and grabbed something from on top as I held still, unable to move at the feeling of her breasts against my bare chest.

"I can't think of anything good," I admitted anxiously. "If I ever got one, and I'm not saying I would, but if I ever did, I would want it to be something meaningful and important to me, sorta like the gardenia is to you. Maybe kids names, if we ever have kids."

"If we ever have kids?" Bella laughed as I looked at her in confusion. "If we ever got married and didn't have children, I think our mothers would go postal. Poking holes in condoms and all that sort of shit. However, for the moment let's not think about that, otherwise I may get a little anxious."

I laughed at Bella's anxiety over marriage and kids, knowing full well she had thought about it when we were younger, though I think her groom was one of the guys from N'Sync. I rolled over onto my back and smiled easily, thoughts of our future running through my mind as I felt something odd on my chest.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I looked down and saw Bella writing on my chest with a sharpie. She shushed me and continued to focus on the task, but I couldn't understand what the hell she was doing from my vantage point. It took a few minutes of awkward silence and weird noises from Bella as she decided what to do, but when she was done, she jumped up and grabbed a mirror off her dresser.

I took it from her hands tentatively and when I held it up and looked at the reflection, I couldn't help but smile at the simplicity of it. Written in her tiny perfect cursive, right over my heart was just one word:

Bella

**Quick Side Note: The lovely ladies over on the TwiGirls Next Door blog have named CPW their author of the month as part of their Collaboration month. There are interviews with both CPW and Risbee going up as well as teasers from Room 15 and an upcoming holiday themed short story CPW is writing that will post in December. Visit them at twigirlsnextdoor(dot)com.**

**They are also generously hosting a #readalong of A Beautiful Mess over on Twitter tomorrow starting at 2pm EST. Come join us.**


	31. Decorated

**CPW: We're back and it didn't take forever to update.**

**Risbee: That wasn't so bad right?**

**CPW: Not for us anyways. This chapter should get everyone into the festive mood.**

**Risbee: Or cause them to drink like our Carlisle.**

**CPW: I hope not. Carlisle is a sloppy drunk.**

**Risbee: Sloppy drunks are the most fun! **

**CPW: Big Love to MaggieMay14 for being incapciated at home, so she could get this beta'd so quickly. Hurray for sprained ankles.**

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight; but I did ship CPW her Eclipse DVD today since she was insistent on getting the Target edition.**

**BPOV**

Some days you just know you'll remember for the rest of your life; the first day of Kindergarten, your sixteenth birthday, the day you had your first kiss. Moments that, no matter your mood, evoke smiles and warm flutters in your tummy.

Yeah, today was not starting out to be one of those days.

"Oh Bella, thank goodness you're awake. I need you to run and pick up the pajamas for me. They finally arrived after what seems like eighty-seven weeks." Renee rushed past me in a fog of flour and what looked like Nutella smeared across her cheek. "I know they promised pre-Christmas delivery, but considering I ordered these back in August, this was cutting it a little close. I could have made them faster myself."

No, no she couldn't have. Renee had no sewing ability whatsoever. In the second grade she tried to make my Halloween costume and I ended up looking like a walking turd instead of Mrs. Potato Head. Edward, of course, was the spitting image of Mr. Potato Head in his store bought costume. Lucky bastard.

I'd only been up an hour or so, and downstairs only a few minutes, when I had been assigned errand duty for Renee and had my sex life alluded to by my father. Good times.

"Bella, when you bring those pajamas home, you sew up the butt flap." Charlie picked up his coffee and newspaper and then pretended to read to keep from making eye contact with me. He always had a very much a 'if I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't happen' type of relationship with me, but I could see the discomfort cross his face. I had half a mind to tell him of Edward's newfound appreciation for abstinence, but I figured that really wouldn't really make things less awkward. Discussing anything sexual in nature with my father was not high on my priority list or any list for that matter.

"Charlie, you're being ridiculous. Bella and Edward aren't going to go sneak off into a closet somewhere. Besides, that's the wrong flap for doing that. Unless of course…." Renee winked at me and I seriously contemplated going upstairs and coming down again to try and start the day over or launching myself out of the second story window to my death. Either option was better than having the conversation we were currently in.

"Okay, first of all, ewwwww. We are not talking about that now, or ever for that matter. Second, I'm pretty sure the flap isn't real; I think it's just a faux flap. Third, and again, ewwwww. Seriously, just don't talk about what you think Edward and I may or may not be doing because I can promise you we aren't. There won't be sneaking into any closets anywhere tonight. "

_Unfortunately._

This was how we were going to start off Christmas Eve, really?

"I don't care, Renee. Bella, sew the flap." He looked at me pointedly and before I could even protest, he continued, "even if it's fake."

"Whatever." I grabbed a muffin from the table and mom's keys before heading out the door. Nothing like running last minute errands for Renee, but this was one that couldn't be avoided and to be honest I was maybe just a little bit excited about it.

After weeks of deliberating, pondering and the inevitable backorder, now that this year's Christmas pajamas had finally arrived I had to admit that Renee had completely outdone herself. I had to go to the UPS Store to pick them up though because Renee didn't trust Charlie to not refuse delivery or to send them back. He wasn't as excited as this year's theme, which I didn't really understand. It wasn't like _he_ was in a union suit. He was in normal pajamas… granted they were bedazzled to make him look like a Christmas tree and came with a star hat, but in the grand scheme of things it was relatively harmless. Renee matched him completely.

Carlisle and Esme were in similar sleepwear, but theirs were white and they were supposed to look like snowflakes. Edward and I had red and white striped long john type things that were supposed to be like candy canes and Alice was in elf footie pajamas. We even ordered a set for Jasper even though he was going to be celebrating with his family. I had no doubt though, that he'd be joining us soon enough. The whole dynamic between him and Alice was just too similar to mine and Edward's to deny.

As I drove through town and looked around, I felt pretty certain that Christmas Eve had to be the best holiday ever. When you stopped and looked around it always seemed like everybody was so happy and cheerful and most of the time they even managed to be nice to each other. Christmas carols played nonstop on all the local radio stations, houses were decorated and somehow the air seemed charged with some sort of blissful energy. Even the air smelled happy and I couldn't stop smiling.

I knew, though, at least some of it was due to Edward and how completely wonderful things were between us. I wondered if the Sharpie had faded from his skin. Never in a million years would I let Edward get my name tattooed on his body, much less on his chest, but right there when we were both in that moment writing my name above his heart seemed just so appropriate. I knew it would eventually fade or wash off and be gone, but we had both seen it, both traced it with our fingers and somehow that seemed even more permanent than any tattoo could ever be. You can't remove memories with a laser.

Ugh. The flutter that coursed through my body just reiterated how much I couldn't wait to see him. To sit on the floor beside him and see the Christmas lights reflected in his eyes, to watch A Christmas Story for the three thousandth time, to pick one present to open because we were all completely impatient like that and to look at him and know that things are different and so much better and that this was just the beginning of forever for us. Because it was, I felt it in every cell of my body.

I wanted the house and the family and yes, even the minivan with him. Not any time soon because we both had things to scratch off our to-do list before we would be ready to start down that path, but I knew he was what I wanted to be waiting for me as I crossed the finish line. Had I mentioned that holidays made me exceedingly sappy and mushy? Because they did. I practically oozed Hallmark Card from my every pore.

I turned up the radio and started to sing along with Carol of the Bells, which was quite the accomplishment considering it was the instrumental version, but I was damn impressive with my dings and my dongs.

Heh. Dongs.

Which reminded me, for the love of God this sexbargo needed to end. Yesterday. Two weeks ago. The day after it started. While the rational, smart, and total buzz-kill side of me knew that taking our new relationship slow was the right thing to do, the hormonally driven part of me had half a mind to drive over to his house, pick him up and speak obscenely filthy things to him until he caved under the pressure.

That's right, during the few and far between moments that we'd been apart since returning to Forks, I'd been practicing my dirty talk and felt pretty confident in my abilities. I had taken baby steps before and uttered a few key words and phrases, but desperate times called for desperate measures and if I had to tell him just how much I wanted his tongue in my…in my…

Deep breaths. I could do this.

I lowered the window in the car, letting the freezing Forks air smack me in the face and banged my head against the steering wheel in frustration, thankful that I was at a stop sign and not driving down the road.

Really, I could do this. I'd done it before – granted I was hiding upstairs in my room under my covers in a little purple bubble, but I still did it. Doing it here shouldn't be any different, I'd just start small, nothing more than a whisper. I opened my mouth and mouthed, "Peen." Then a whisper. Acknowledging my small, yet impressive, victory, I shifted in my seat and sat up a bit taller. This was going to totally be easy. He was doomed.

A bit louder this time, "Peencock."

"Peencockpussy." Still louder and with a fist pump.

"Peencockpussyfuckcun…." Okay, no go on the c-word, but that would come eventually.

Heh. Come. Heh heh. Fuck yeah, I could absolutely do this. I was a vixen in the making.

Screaming at not quite the top of my lungs but close, "Peencockpussyfuckclit. Peencockpussyfuckclit. ."

Jesus fuck, I forgot the car window was down.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I wanted to shrivel up in a little ball and die. Or evaporate. Or roll under the floor mat where she would never ever find me. Annnnnd now she was walking over to the car.

_Accio Invisibility cloak._

Damn it, that didn't work.

"Bella dear, I was wondering if you could take a few things to your mother for me? She's been such a treasured volunteer lately and I just thought of some areas where she might have some special interest." Reeling from complete humiliation and the fact that she called Renee a treasure, I had to concentrate on not letting my mouth gape open like one of Charlie's dead trout.

"Sure Mrs. Webber. Let me turn around and I'll be right there."

Sighing in relief, I did a u-turn right there in the middle of the intersection, more than just a little bit thankful that Charlie was at home and most likely snoozing on the couch in preparation for the big night. I pulled into the Webber driveway and started to open my door when Angela came bounding down the steps carrying what looked like a bunch of flyers. There was no way to miss the amusement in her eyes, she looked like she was about to explode. Well, that didn't take long.

She handed the papers over to me, but just as I was about to confess to what had just happened, her mom called her from the front door, waving another flyer. She went to go get it and returned to me with a look of bewilderment on her face. "Why is my mom inside muttering to herself about trying to figure out if you're either pregnant or if you're filming porn as a way to pay for college. Oh my god Bella? ARE you pregnant?"

I could have smacked her. Girlfriend was getting laid on a regular basis and she had the nerve to tease the sexbargo girl about possibly being pregnant. On Christmas Eve. 'Tis the season of immaculate conception after all. Hardy har freakin' har. I growled and grabbed the information from her hands, flinging them into the passenger seat beside me.

"I'll call you later and explain. Apologize to your mom for me. Tell her I have Tourrette's or something. Tell her exams made me crazy. Tell her I huffed paint, I don't care what you say, just tell her something and let me get out of here and back home before she calls Renee. The last thing I need is to find a pregnancy test in my stocking tomorrow morning." I looked at Angela in all seriousness. "And no, I wouldn't put it past her." My tires squealed as I backed out of the driveway and I booked it home faster than I had ever driven before in my life.

I drove like a bat out of hell to our street, where I eased up on the speed and managed to drive the distance to our house at a respectable and appropriate twenty-five miles per hour. Longest three blocks ever. Mom was just hanging up the phone as I walked in and I handed her the flyers and package, minus the pajamas for Edward and for myself. Not even stopping and giving her a chance to start asking, I just started talking. "No babies, no porn, don't ask. I need to go sew a flap shut."

I ignored the squee that I heard her try and suppress after I left the room. Babies were sooooo not on my radar right now.

Finally in the safety and sanctuary of my room, I texted Edward to see when he was coming over. Like I didn't already know, the Christmas Eve routine never changed. Ever. The Cullens' would arrive at five-thirty and change into their jammies. Then we'd take pictures, eat pizza because nobody wanted to cook a big meal knowing how much we'd eat tomorrow and watch Christmas classics on TV. The parents would have some beers, we'd open presents, and they'd leave around midnight only to start all over around seven in the morning because who slept in on Christmas? Nobody. The only rule was that nobody could get out of bed until the sun was up.

_When are you leaving?_

He didn't respond, so I texted again a few minutes later.

_Hurry. Please._

After twenty more minutes of waiting and more than just a little bit impatient, I got sneaky.

_I'm upstairs naked, can you get here in time?_

Of course, I _wasn't_ naked, but he wasn't here either, so no biggie. The chime from my phone just confirmed I knew him better than anybody.

_Leaving ASAP. ~E_

_Too late. I'm already dressed. ~B_

_You play dirty. ~E_

_No, but if you had been here earlier we could have. ~B_

_I hate you. ~E_

_You love me. ~B_

_Yup. Leaving for real in 45ish. Ily. ~E_

_I love you too. ~B_

That was all I needed to hear. Everything was better already, now I just had to kill time until he arrived.

Just as I had suspected, the flap on my holiday pajamas was false, and while I thought about sewing a few stitches along the seam just to humor dad, I didn't even bother. Taking a quick shower to pass the time and applying some peppermint lotion to play along with the candy cane theme, I got all decked out in my holiday attire, leaving Edward's pajamas up on my bed knowing he'd change there.

By the time I got downstairs they were just coming in the door and I ran over and flung myself at him not caring at all that I knocked a bunch of presents out of his arms. Besides, I didn't hear anything break.

"Nice pajamas," Edward said as he looked me up and down, totally staring at my boobs a little bit longer than was appropriate. Picking up the packages from the floor and handing me a few, he started laughing at me again before giving me a quick kiss and patting me on the ass.

"If you think_ I _look funny, just wait. Yours is upstairs waiting for you on my bed."

I thought I saw his eyes darken a bit, but maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. "Want to come show me where they are?"

My heart started racing as I nodded silently, taking his hand in mine, but a not so subtle cough from Charlie squelched our plans before they really got started. Damn it. Once all the greetings had been made and all the Merry Christmas hugs had been given, all the Cullens' disappeared to go change.

Let the festivities begin.

Carlisle was the first to emerge, looking like a skinny Frosty and if it wasn't too creepy to think about, I would have probably acknowledged that Esme was a very lucky woman. Then I decided that he was hot enough that I could probably get past the creepy. Plus, it was nice to think that Edward had his dad's genes and would definitely age well. Esme was definitely lucky and the slightly messed up condition of her hair made me realize that she knew it too. Okay, _that_ was creepy to think about. Moving on…

Charlie and Renee came out next. I could barely look at them behind all the bedazzling, but there they were, flashing and blinking and sequin-ing in all their glory. Charlie was such a good sport, and I didn't even want to think about what my mother had promised him to get him into that get up.

Then Edward came down the stairs and everybody else melted away and for the first time in the history of the world, a union suit was sexy. I went to the kitchen and got beers for all the parents because the more they drank, the less they would pay attention and the more likely Edward and I could sneak away to that closet that I said we'd never visit. Hell, at this point I wanted to throw him down on the floor and have at it, audience be damned, but that might traumatize Alice a bit.

I'd just have to wait. Some more.

I walked away from Edward, trying to avoid temptation, when Renee and Esme met me in the kitchen looking all conspiratorial. "Nuh uh. No way. I don't know what you two have going on in those crazy little minds of yours, but no. No way. No how. Just no."

"But Belllllllllllla. This is nothing bad, crazy or even remotely close to what we could possibly suggest."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?"

Renee snickered. Jesus Christ.

"We just want to know what you got Edward for Christmas." Esme leaned in and took one of the beers from me, downing half of it in one gulp.

"Yeah. Tell us. We know what he got you." Renee was bouncing up and down on her toes and the lights reflecting of her sequins started to blind me.

"No."

"You have toooo." Seriously, Renee? Whining? So unflattering and completely ineffective. I grabbed a few plates out of the cabinet and put them on the counter. Somebody had to act like an adult around here and apparently that somebody was me.

"No, I don't have tooooooo. It's something I spent a really long time thinking about and I don't want to risk him finding out what it is before he opens it. I know you two. I tell you now and he'll know before I leave this room."

"We won't say a word. Promise." Esme finished her beer and pounded the bottle on the counter. Impressive.

"I don't know. All these times you've gotten so over excited and over reacted when you shouldn't have. I just don't think it's a good idea for me to tell you." I walked around them and over to the oven where I pulled out the pizzas that had finished cooking.

"I'll give you fifty dollars."

Esme was apparently desperate. I kind of loved it.

"I'll give you fifty too and I'll tell you what you're getting from him."

"See. That's exactly what I'm worried about. Neither one of you can keep a secret." They both gave me puppy dog eyes and I couldn't fight them anymore. "Okay. Since you both promised you wouldn't say anything, I'll tell you. Come closer." The approached me on their tiptoes, grinning from ear to ear and eyes sparkling. "Really. You won't say a word. To anyone." They both shook their heads and pantomimed zipping their lips. I moved my fingers slowly together, signaling that I wanted the money up front and was shocked at how quickly they both coughed up fifty dollars. I shoved the money in my bra, feeling a little smug, and then leaned in a little bit more.

"I got him a strap on…well, it's for me actually. We're going anal." I turned and walked out of the kitchen, listening to the one sound that only absolute and complete shock can evoke…silence. I didn't feel one bit guilty either because they both totally deserved it, and I deserved a hundred bucks for having to put up with their crap all the time.

Laughing to myself, I rounded the corner and almost ran right into Edward. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down the adjacent hallway, into the shadows and kissed me deeply. I ran my hands up his arms and around the back of his neck. My fingers wove into his hair as I kissed him back, just as hard and just as desperate and just as needy.

I could barely breathe and if breathing meant I had to stop kissing him, then breathing was overrated. He turned me around to where my back was against the wall and he pushed his body against mine. It was needy and carnal and his hips started to move against my body. I did a mental fist pump because I knew his resistance was crumbling and the 'bargo was soon to be over. Not even the sound of Carlisle and Charlie doing their annual monotone rendition of Silent Night could make me stop now.

But apparently Edward could. He broke away from me, wiped off my lips with the pad of his thumb and stepped back, adjusting himself in his stripes.

"That's for teasing me with the naked texts."

Not funny Cullen. Not funny at all.

**EPOV**

Okay, so Ben might have mentioned to me in passing recently that Bella had let it slip to Angela that she was frustrated with the sexbargo, as she called it, so I couldn't help but tease her after her texts earlier in the day. However, as I pulled away from her, my cock literally screaming out for relief from something other than my hand, I wondered why the hell we were still waiting. I get that it had only been about three and a half weeks since we were snowed in, but I had needs and if what Ben was saying about Bella, so did she.

However, I refused for our next time to be against the wall in the darkened hallway at the Swan house, only feet away from where Charlie kept his guns and Renee kept her… god knows what. I wanted her, I wouldn't deny that, but I didn't want her like this. Though Emmett did think that sex was a good Christmas gift. That was what he gave Rosalie… himself wrapped in a bow. She had apparently laughed at him, but he insisted that she fully enjoyed herself once the laughter subsided.

As we sat on the floor of the Swan living room, listening to our drunken parents ramble on while the kids tried to watch A Christmas Story, I realized there was no way in hell I could give Bella her gift right now. My mother kept winking at me weirdly and even Renee stared at me oddly, especially after they returned from the kitchen with Bella earlier. My stomach was unsettled and as I sat there beside Bella, her hand clutching tightly to mine, I realized I was nervous about whether she would like her gift. I had put a lot of thought into it and though I was certain it would be better than whatever the hell Ben would get Angela, I wasn't sure if Bella would like it. Why the hell had I gotten so anxious about this?

"When do you want to exchange gifts?" Bella asked, her voice barely a whisper, as she leaned over and nuzzled against my neck. I gulped anxiously and when I looked forward, Renee was smiling from ear to ear at me in a way that was very creepy. What the hell was going on?

"Umm… tomorrow? Maybe after we do our family crap in the morning we can get together privately?"

"Oh," Bella said with a sigh. "Tomorrow works fine I guess."

"Did you have something else planned?"

"Well no… it's just we always opened them on Christmas Eve together. You know, it's tradition."

"Oh… right." I gave Bella a small smile since she was right that we always exchanged them on Christmas Eve, but never before I had given her something so intimate. I was good in the past with handing her board games and DVD's in the presence of our parents, but not so much this time. Thankfully, I was saved by my mother.

"Edward, your father is completely lit. You need to drive us home." Bella and I frowned up at my parents, but I could see exactly what she meant. My father was currently leaning over Charlie, telling him how much he loved him as he pawed at the Christmas tree on his pajamas. It was completely odd, very disturbing and would definitely make my father blush thirty shades of red in the morning. "Alice, go say goodnight to the Swans and pack up, please."

Alice simply nodded her head and pranced away like a good little elf as I looked a Bella, who had released my hand. "I'm sorry. Apparently, since we went away to college my father is drinking less and he clearly can't handle his spiked nog."

"Well, to his benefit I saw my dad add a bottle of booze to the nog, and then my mother did the same thing 30 minutes later, so I'm sure it's strong nog." Bella and I heard a loud groan and when we looked back at the couch we could see my mother trying to lift my father off of Charlie. Shit, this was going to be a long night.

After that the night was truly shot to shit. My father spilled his drink on Charlie's lap and then proceeded to try and clean it up with some doilies Renee had set up on the coffee table. Charlie jumped off the couch at one point yelling about cuppage and Esme was quick to have me drag my father to the car. In fact, she was so quick, I never had a chance to say goodnight to Bella.

I couldn't let that shit happen, so just before midnight, when I knew everyone in my house was fast asleep, I was in my car hightailing it across town to the Swans.

I parked down the street and ran across a few yards to meet my old nemesis, the tree. I climbed it, my hands aching from the cold, but I didn't care. I had five minutes until midnight and I was bound and determine to get my girl her gift on Christmas Eve. When I finally reached the top, I was surprised to see Bella's bedside light was on, and she was on her laptop. I knocked softly on the window and her hand flew to her chest as she saw me, clearly scared out of her mind.

She stalked toward the window, a red blush and a frown on her face, and I couldn't help but smile cause she had taken off the candy cane pajamas. Then again, she wasn't naked like I would have wanted, choosing to wear one of my old t-shirts to sleep in instead. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"I didn't get to say goodnight earlier," I admitted as Bella smiled shyly in return and moved away from the now open window to let me in. "Plus, I'm not one for breaking tradition, so I wanted us to exchange gifts before midnight." Bella glanced at her clock and smiled again as I stood on solid ground and reached into my coat pocket, pulling out the small red wrapped box.

I watched anxiously as she disappeared into her closet and pulled out a surprisingly big package. What the hell had she gotten me? Bella dropped the present onto the bed with a thud and motioned for me to sit down. I eagerly pulled off my coat and sat cross-legged across from her, my heart beating out of my chest in anxiety. I was petrified she would hate my gift and now I was also worried about what she had gotten me.

"Go ahead, open yours first," Bella said with a grin as she pushed the box toward me and I opened it with tentative fingers. As the first piece of wrapping paper fell away, my mouth dropped open in surprise as I saw what lay beneath.

"You didn't."

"I did too."

"No, you didn't."

"Okay, I didn't. I'll take it back," Bella laughed as I held onto the 90th Anniversary United Artists box set, which had like 90 movies… most of them were fucking epic movies too. "After all, I know how much you hate Marty, 12 Angry Men and the Magnificent Seven. I'll return it if you hate it." Bella reached out to take the box set from me and I grabbed it, wrapping my arms around it as I held it to my chest.

"Don't you dare."

"I guess your over protectiveness means you like it?"

"Like it?" I replied with a loud boisterous guffaw. "I fucking love it. It's got The Great Escape. You know about my fondness for all things Steve McQueen. Thank you so much, baby." I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips as I sat the box set on the bed beside us and reached for her gift. "If you don't like it, I can take it back."

"Oh don't be such a worry wart. I'm sure I'll love it." Bella snatched the gift from my open palm and ripped into the paper with enthusiasm that rivaled Alice on Christmas morning, or her birthday, or anytime she received something that was wrapped. I watched with baited breathe as Bella held her hand to her chest when she saw a small velvet jewelry box. It didn't help calm my nerves that her expression was basically unreadable.

"Are you going to say something?" I prodded as she held open the box and just stared at it with a slack jaw.

"You got me pearl earrings?" she asked as she looked up at me with tears forming in her eyes. "This is honestly the best gift anyone has ever given me. Like… seriously perfect. You know me so well," Bella gushed as she stretched across the bed and pulled me into a deep hug. When she pulled away from me, I couldn't help but notice how darker her eyes looked.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, everything is absolutely right," she replied stoically as she put the earring box on her bedside table and then grasped the top of my hideous pajamas and forced her mouth against mine. If her aggressiveness wasn't such a turn on I would have been scared. Bella's hands were suddenly everywhere, ripping open the buttons to get to my chest and then threading through my hair as she pulled me closer to her, deepening our kiss.

"Why didn't you get changed when you got home?" Bella questioned breathlessly before she pushed the top of my union suit down my arms and her mouth latched onto the side of my neck and began doing sinful things to me.

"Uh… I didn't have much time. I wanted to get back over here as soon as I could," I replied, my voice cracking awkwardly as I grabbed Bella's shoulders and reluctantly pushed her away from me. When she looked up, she looked sad and disappointed and I felt horrible. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not? I really want to… can't you tell?" she purred as her hand reached out and began palming my cock through the thin cotton fabric. "Mmm... feels like you like it too. Don't you want your umm… your thing… your cock, I mean, in my mouth?"

Uh… what did she just say?

"Where's my girlfriend and what have you done with her?" I questioned curiously as Bella cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"You don't like it? I'm trying something new… dirty talk. Now come here and you can… stick your peen in… me."

"Okay, stop."

"What? It's not good, right? I suck. I knew I couldn't pull this shit off. Great idea there Bella, talk dirty to your boyfriend who hasn't really touched you in weeks so you can get laid. Wonderful damn idea." Bella began running her hands down her face in frustration and I felt her pain, I really did. I just couldn't fight back the thought that we wanted to take everything slowly. "I've been trying to get into your pants for days, weeks even. Hell, if you had just made love to me tonight it would have made my Christmas the happiest ever, but no, you got me perfect earrings and no sex. I like having sex with you, and I hate this going slow shit. We waited eighteen long years to hook up, so come on… do me."

"Bella.." I began and was swiftly cut off.

"No, don't _Bella_ me. I have needs Edward that can't be met by my showerhead or hand alone, so if you aren't willing…"

"Bella…"

"I can always buy toys to tide me over until you are."

"You mean… like sex toys?" I gulped nervously, the sound filling her small room.

"No, I mean like Battleship or Connect Four. Yes, I mean sex toys. So what's the deal… are you in or not?"

"Bella, shut the fuck up for one second and take those fucking clothes off so I can fuck you, please?" I asked politely right, that should count for something. "Oh, and please don't try to dirty talk again, please. Just… no."

In a flash Bella had jumped off her bed and stripped down to her underwear, which was a really adorable candy cane bra and panty set. I stared at her for a long moment before pulling off my own gear, including my boxers. It didn't escape me that Bella licked her lips as she saw my dick spring free of my horrible holiday garments. I had planned to burn them as soon as the holidays were over. "Come here," I said sweetly as Bella approached looking shy and anxious. "What's wrong?"

"You really didn't like the dirty talk?" she asked as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hard on the lips, my fingers dancing down her back to unclasp her bra.

"I love the fact that you tried to learn dirty talk, but baby, it's not you. I fell in love with you, flaws included, and if you can't say cunt than I'm good with that," I replied as I kissed my way down her neck, my hands sliding her bra off of her shoulders and onto the floor.

"Yeah… I can't say that one. I don't think I will ever be able to say it." Bella moaned slightly as I bent down and sucked her nipple into my mouth, my tongue flicking it before I bit down and she groaned louder. My fingers ghosted lightly down her sides as I switched breasts and paid attention to the other, before I slid her panties down her shaking thighs. To tease her, I ran one finger between her lips and was shocked at how wet she was. Maybe this sexbargo thing had lasted a little too long.

Once Bella was completely naked before me, I guided her onto her bed, where we spent time exploring each other's bodies like it was our first time. We tried to be quiet, since her parents were sleeping down the hall, but I couldn't help but think that this was how our first time was supposed to go. Not up against a Toyota in the rain.

Each kiss, touch and sweet word from Bella was perfection and I took my time loving her the way she deserved, telling her over and over again how much I loved her, how much I trusted her and how we were meant to be together. When I finally entered her, it was like all the stars in sky aligned and all my Christmas wishes had been granted. I watched with pure love as she came undone around me, her small sighs and moans masked by my kisses as I released inside of her and then rolled onto my back, curling her into my side as I yanked a blanket up over us. There was no way in hell I could stay the night, but we weren't going to freeze to death either.

"No more sexbargos ever," Bella stated vehemently as I nodded my head slowly. "Angela told me all about the benefits of make up sex and we kinda lost that make up period by waiting so long. I want hardcore make up sex. Hell, I might even start an argument on purpose."

"I might let you, baby."

"Good. Now, I have something else to tell you. It's not bad, I promise." I sucked in a deep breath as Bella rested her head against my chest and kissed it gently. "Our mothers cornered me in the kitchen tonight and tried to get me to tell them what I had gotten you. I told them I got us a strap on, cause we were going anal, so feel free to play up that with your mother."

"Oh my god, seriously?"

"They wouldn't leave me alone."

"You could have said anything Bella… you got me a camera, a photo album or hell, concert tickets or something. You actually said a strap on? Jesus fuck, I'll never be able to look my mother in the eye again without wondering if she was thinking about if you were fucking me in the ass."

"Well, we all have our issues."

"And yours is?"

"Mrs. Webber thinks I am making porno to get through college."

**Two little things of note: We posted an outtake of A Beautiful Mess under a different title name, A Messier Beautiful Mess, which features an hilarious flashback on the lives of Esme & Renee, so we highly recommend you check it out.**

**Also, Risbee was recommended over on the Perv Pack Smut Shack last week for her very first one shot, He Watched and We Loved. I believe she may have even puked when she found out. LOL. If you haven't had a chance to check it out, you should. A while you're at it, make sure you have her on author alert since she has some FGB one shots to post in the near future.**

**In January over on PIC's FanFic Corner, they are recruiting readers to review their favorite stories, whether they be a little guy or the big guy, it doesn't matter. Pimp your friends, your family, an underappreciated fic or something with 10,000 reviews. Just make sure the review is 500 words or less. Check out picffcorner (dot) blogspot (dot) com for more information.**


	32. Woo

**Risbee: So, yeah it's been a while since we updated and we apologize.**

**CPW: It's all my fault though. RL has dealt me a shit kicking in the past month and a half.**

**Risbee: Well you still had time to start a new story.**

**CPW: That's how I deal bb. LOL**

**Risbee: Anywhoo, we don't own. However, there is only 1 more chapter and an epilogue to go.**

**CPW: And we promise we will update sooner. The next chapter is already half written.**

**Risbee: On with the show…**

**BPOV**

"Okay, now tell me why we're here again?" Angela grabbed the shopping cart out of my hands after I almost ran into a perfectly arranged display of soup cans… for the second time. Apparently distracted driving was not limited only to cars. I could not read my grocery list and steer at the same time.

"Tuna Casserole. It's Edward's favorite, his mom said she'd teach me how to make it and it's on my list."

"List?"

"Yeah, my list." Angela looked at me with even more confusion as I began to clarify the situation for her. "I put together a list to help me with my 'Week of Woo'. Remember everything Edward did for me right before I left?" I stopped walking and studied the list of ingredients one more time before turning down the next aisle. I didn't even bother checking to see what we had at home knowing that if it wasn't used to fry fish or dial take-out, it wasn't present in the Swan kitchen. "Well, the Christmas tour date went so well,"

Yes, yes it did.

"…that I decided to recreate the magic so to speak. I want to do for him what he did for me. Little things, perfect things, things that are just ours to tell him how much he means to me."

"And Tuna Casserole is going to do that?"

"Esme's Tuna Casserole, and yes."

"You realize you could probably get away with a box of Tuna Helper and he'd never notice. I've seen Edward, Ben and Emmett eat and I'm honestly not sure they taste their food. It's almost barbaric."

I turned and put a hand on Angela's arm and looked her dead in the eye. "Do not underestimate the power of the casserole. Seriously. It's amazing what that meal can get him to do."

"And now the truth comes out." Angela's eyes sparkled as she laughed at me, obviously thinking about ulterior motives, but really, I just wanted to make him happy because that made me happy.

"Just push the damn cart and let's get what we need. I'm supposed to meet Esme in an hour and considering I've been staring at shelves full of pasta for seven minutes now trying to find the correct brand of noodles, I'm not sure I'm going to make it. "

"Won't Edward be suspicious when he sees you there?" Angela took the cart from me and pointed to the package of noodles that were sitting at eye level with bright red lettering on the bag. With a huff, I grabbed it and threw it in the cart.

"He's helping Carlisle set up some sort of audio/video thing at the hospital. Apparently there is some sort of conference there next week and Carlisle said Edward would help."

"I bet he was thrilled." Angela laughed a bit, but I shook my head.

"Actually, he was excited. He's been looking forward to it all week."

"Really?" She looked surprised and I grinned.

"Yup. Tuna Casserole makes everything worthwhile."

Forty-five minutes later we were in the checkout line and I gave Angela money to cover the groceries while I ran outside to call Esme and tell her we were running a bit late. She assured me that there was no rush and that Carlisle was fully prepared to mix up a few plugs and power cords if we needed extra time. I loved that family.

When I got off the phone with her, Angela was just coming out of Thriftway. We loaded the groceries into my mom's Camry and I started driving back towards her house where I'd drop her off before heading to the Cullen's house.

"So, tell me. What else is on the Woo Week agenda?"

"Ugh, I don't know. I mean, I did the tour and then this. I know I want to do something for New Year's Eve, but I'm not exactly sure what. Charlie and Renee are staying home because he feels like he needs to be close in case the station needs him and Edward's parents are going to some fancy schmancy hotel in Port Angeles so there's no way we can go there because you know Renee and Esme have talked about it and Renee knows that they'll be gone. I swear, sometimes I think this whole relationship thing was easier when nobody knew about it."

"You mean when you were in different countries?"

"Shut it. You know what I mean. It's just hard being at home now when all I want to do is be with him twenty-four seven. Curfews suck."

"You should use it to your advantage. Build up the UST, make him sweat, then, when you get back to UW…" she trailed off and I wasn't sure but I thought I saw her blush a little bit, so of course I had to egg her on a little bit.

"Yes?"

"…fuck him until he cries."

I. Couldn't. Stop. Laughing.

The rest of the drive was filled with random suggestions and possibilities for things I could do for Edward during the week. Some, like the handmade coupon book filled with kisses, were ridiculous and shot down as soon as the idea was proposed. Some, like the bubble bath, were intriguing, but not really feasible while we were in Forks. Porn was put on the maybe list, but I wasn't sure if I had the balls to pull it off. Still, by the time I dropped Angela off at her house, I had a few possibilities on my list.

"Have fun with the mother-in-law." Angela winked at me as I flipped her off, but I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. Mother-in-law. I only hoped that was true… years from now.

Working with Esme wasn't nearly as chaotic as I had feared it would be. Like Renee, she actually could be maternal when she needed to be. That was good though, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be a wife and a mom and a friend and not just lose myself in one thing or another. Life needed balance and Esme, and Renee too in her own special way, had it.

"Okay, all we do now is put it in the oven and wait for the goodness to bring our boys home."

"Wait. I wasn't planning on eating with you guys. I mean, I wanted to learn how to make this for him, but I didn't think it was tonight."

"Bella, did you cook the noodles?"

"Yes."

"Did you chop the onions? Grate the cheese? Crumble the crackers? Mix the ingredients?"

I nodded yes to every one of her questions, not exactly sure what her point was until it finally clicked. I made dinner. She told me what to do and taught me how to do it, but technically I did make it all by myself.

Of course, I had crumbs on my clothes and cheese in my hair and I smelled a bit fishy. I was in desperate need of a shower but when I tried to leave so I could go take one, Esme pointed me upstairs and said I could just borrow some of her clothes while she ran mine through a quick wash. Remembering the time where Edward had to borrow some of Charlie's clothes after we had sex in the rain, I suddenly felt like it was perfect. Full circle and all that, except there was no sex. Just tuna casserole.

But it was all for Edward.

Dinner went off without a hitch, and I felt like a total badass when Esme informed everybody at the table that I was the one responsible.

"You made this?" Edward mouthed in my direction and, not gonna lie, the look in his eyes did wonderful things to my girlie bits.

Fuck him until he cries, indeed.

Since I cooked, Esme and Carlisle insisted on clearing the table and handling the dishes. Edward and I decided to watch a movie since it was crazy cold outside and he was still drunk on the noodly goodness.

"You wore your earrings," he nuzzled closer and I shivered.

"Mhm. Well, they are perfect." And they were, perfectly symbolic of our relationship in that they were something beautiful that was created over time, I'd worn them constantly and already found myself very, very attached to them. I was not a grand gesture type of girl. We were not a high maintenance couple… dramatic, possibly, but not high maintenance… so the pearls were perfect.

"Well good. I'm glad you liked them because it took me a little while to figure out what to get you. I even went to the mall with Emmett. Do you have any idea how brutal that was? I was _this close_ making you coupons.

See… bad idea. No coupons during the Week of Woo.

"Emmett even suggested getting a dog. Can you even imagine having a dog in the dorm? Of course, I think it really because HE wants a dog and figured with the joint custody and whatever he'd get to play with it half the time but not be responsible for taking it outside or feeding it or bathing it." Edward looked thoughtful for a minute before continuing, "or giving it flea meds or taking it for shots, or vet bills or buying toys or bedding for it."

He looked so sad and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, Emmett wasn't the only one that wanted us to get a puppy. But, as always, Edward was levelheaded, practical and all things reasonable.

"Edward, I have to go."

I was officially insane. I was crazy, nuts, ridiculous. He was nuzzled into my neck, Alice was, I don't know, somewhere, Carlisle and Esme were upstairs, we were alone and I decided it was time to run an errand.

"No."

"Edward, I have to go. I promise I'll see you in the morning, but there is something I need to do tonight and I need to do it now. Call me later?"

"But you made me tuna casserole." He refused to let go of my hand and the puppy-dog eyes almost, _almost_ did me in. I had to remain strong if I was going to do this. Must. Resist.

"I _did_ make you tuna casserole, yes." I giggled because it really was kind of cute how much he loved it and how silly he got over it, "Really, I need to go. And stop making that face at me. I love you."

_Please let him think this is a good idea_.

Once I said my goodbyes to Esme and Carlisle, I got in the car and called Angela from the road. Not because I needed her advice, but because I needed her hands.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Angela asked me for what had to be the eight thousandth time and the answer was still the same.

"Absolutely. I think." I pulled into the parking lot in front of the pet store and sat there for a second taking some deep breaths and trying to appear like I truly believed that doing this was a smart move. I mean, I knew I loved Edward and I knew he loved me, but this was huge. I was basically telling him I wanted to have children with him. "Do you think I'm making a mistake? Wait, don't answer that. I have to do this on my own."

"Bella, I just want to make sure you've thought this through. How are you going to get it back to UW?"

"Edward will drive like always and I have a lap. It's totally doable. Now come on, before I change my mind and think this isn't the best idea ever."

Because it was.

My hands were shaking and I felt nauseous as we walked into Woofers and Tweeters, the pet supply store. The smell of cedar chips, pet food and whatever else that was in the air overwhelmed me and I almost felt a little nauseous, but I thought about the look on Edward's face as he talked about the puppy that almost was and I knew in my heart that this would go over well.

"Can I help you?" A guy standing near one of the registers by the front door greeted us as we walked in. I grabbed Angela's hand for moral support and I was just a little freaked out by the grin that started to slowly creep across register dude's face.

Um, no.

"Yeah, um, can you point me in the direction of your beta fish?"

Low maintenance, simple, the perfect starter pet. They didn't go against dorm regulations, they didn't need to be walked or house trained. All they needed was to be fed and an occasional water change.

Fifteen minutes later, I walked out of the store a proud new pet owner of Victoria, the fish. Co-pet owner. She was red and flamboyant, her delicate fins made her look like she was on fire and she definitely seemed to have quite the attitude. In fact, she was so vicious, that they kept her on a shelf away from the other betas. She was a totally diva-licious fish and I was a genius.

So, three things accomplished, four more to go. New Years Eve was in a few days and I was determined to give good woo.

"So, Angela… let's discuss New Years. I had an idea."

**EPOV**

New Years Eve. I was anxious and uncertain about how everything would unfold. Sure, things had improved so much since we got home from college for Christmas break, but I sometimes felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. My mother even noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"Who said anything was wrong?" I countered as my mother finished putting on her favorite diamond earrings and looked at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"Edward… need I remind you that I am your mother," she replied with a small smirk. "So… what's the deal?"

"Alright, is it wrong of me to keep waiting for something bad to happen?"

"Are you talking about you and Bella?"

"No, I'm talking about gas prices. I'm horribly tormented that they will continue to rise. Of course I mean Bella and me. I'm trying really hard to get over everything, I swear I am, but it's hard."

"Of course it's hard, Edward. She was your first real girlfriend and things didn't exactly turn out the way you thought they would. However," she hesitated for a moment as my father approached holding her jacket and helped her put it on, "the most important thing is that you guys are willing to try again. You've learned from your mistakes and it will only serve to make you and Bella stronger. Believe me, I know."

"From first hand experience," my dad chimed in as he put his arm over my mother's shoulder and held her tight into his side. "Are you ready to go, sweetheart?"

"I've left the number for the hotel in Port Angeles beside the phone. I also left the number for the Whitlocks'. Alice won't be coming home tonight, but you never know if you need help."

"Mom, I'm 19. I've survived being snowed in, Bella going to Europe and falling in love, I think I can handle one night alone."

"You better stay alone, too," my father added knowingly as he winked at me before ushering my mother towards the front door. "Charlie assured me that Bella was spending the night at the Webber's with Angela. Don't make me call over there to confirm."

"Jesus, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. Emmett is coming over to play a few video games and we're going to do nothing exciting at midnight, I swear." I leaned against the wall, holding my crossed fingers behind my back and with my free hand and I waved goodnight to my parents. After being in the same home as them for over a week, I was going a bit stir crazy with their increased concern for me. They clearly forgot that I had been living away at school for the past few months because suddenly they were treating me like I was 13 and it was my first night being left home alone.

The moment the door shut behind me, I made my way up the stairs two at a time and grabbed my cell phone off my desk, immediately texting Bella.

'_Rents just left. Give me 15 min?_

Bella quickly messaged back that she was in the midst of faking sick at the Webber's annual New Years Eve party and would be at my place in a flash. It had been over 24 hours since I had seen her and I was getting a little desperate if I was being honest.

I was still flabbergasted that Bella had spent the time and effort to learn how to make my favorite dish, Tuna Casserole. I had been missing it something fierce since we left for college, so it was a great surprise to come home from my frustrating afternoon with my a/v challenged father to such a great meal. The only downside was that she couldn't make it while we were back at school, since we didn't have kitchens in our dorm rooms.

I made a mental note to try and sweet talk Bella and our parents into letting us move in together the next year. I paced around my room, anxiously awaiting my girl, I couldn't help but smile as I looked over at my desk, where a new red beta fish sat inside a fish bowl, happily enjoying the water and food I had given her earlier in the afternoon. I wasn't even sure if the fish was a girl, is there even a way to tell? However, Bella deemed her Victoria, so we went with that.

Beside the fish was a dark blue lidded box, which even looking at made me blush. The day before Bella had come over for a quick visit and given me the box before she left, insisting that I open it alone. I couldn't help but laugh when I found inside was a 'Bella Survival Kit." There were even instructions to only enjoy when Bella was absent, and I sorted through the box, laughing at the porn movies, lotion that smelled like her and Kleenex that were held inside. There was also popcorn for the movies she had given me for Christmas, bags of skittles and starburst and my favorite picture of her. She really did know me well.

So well in fact, that I had been shocked three days earlier when Bella drove over unannounced and proceeded to go down on me in the front hallway. I hadn't even had a chance to think about anything, except for her hot mouth wrapped around my cock and her hand cupping my balls, before I came violently down her throat. Bella looked beyond pleased with herself and made a snappy comment about having excellent timing and psychic abilities before she kissed my cheek and left me standing breathless and confused in the hallway.

However, I couldn't help but wonder why the hell the gifts were continuing since Christmas was over.

When the doorbell finally rang, I flew down the stairs and found Bella looking completely flustered. "Reverend Webber thinks he's a doctor. You would not believe the shit I had to tell that man to get him to let me go home alone. He wanted to check my temperature, get me Tylenol and a cold compress because he insisted that he promised Charlie and Renee I would spend the night with them," Bella laughed lightly as she brought in two huge bags will god knows what inside of them. "My parents apparently think I am twelve again. Since when do I need a chaperone on New Years?"

"Since they assume if they don't do something you will sneak over to your boyfriends house?"

"Yeah, there's that," she answered quickly as she kissed my cheek and I shoved the door closed forcefully behind her, locking the door. "I told the good Reverend that I was going through my 'lady stuff' and just needed to lie down and have some chocolate and Midol. I'm guessing Mrs. Webber usually does all this stuff with Angela, because he became some flustered and offered to drive me home."

"How did you get out of that?" I questioned curiously as I followed Bella down to my basement, very confused as to what the fuck was going on.

"Angela stepped in and reassured her father that I would be fine, thank god. Then I heard Mrs. Webber whisper to him that she was relieved I wasn't pregnant, and I really felt like I would hurl. The whole evening was awkward and religious and let me tell you, I am glad to be out of there. I felt like I would burn in hell for all the impure thoughts of you I was having in their home."

"Impure thoughts huh?"

"Yeah, very sinful… anyways, can you get the sleeping bags out of that first bag and unroll them. I'm going to pitch a tent."

I stood there with my mouth wide open as Bella grabbed several blankets out of the bag she had and began making a blanket fort of epic proportions. I channeled Emmett, thinking to myself that I was also pitching a tent as I watched her bend over, but I chose to keep that thought to myself. When Bella had almost finished making a rather large fort, she looked at me with disappointment. "Something wrong?"

"Uh… no, I'm just a wee bit confused as to what the fuck is going on right now. Why is there a monstrous blanket fort in my basement? I thought we were going to chill out and watch movies?" I also kept the thought to myself that I desperately wanted to sleep with Bella in my bed, and by sleep I meant fuck, but I didn't want to say that.

"Oh yeah… I guess I should have clued you in huh?" Bella came over to me and kissed me soundly on the lips and as we parted, she smirked at me from ear to ear, looking absolutely adorable. "Last summer when I told you I was going to Europe, I ruined some of the plans you had made. Tonight… I'm fixing that. We're going camping."

"We are camping indoors?"

"Damn straight. I even brought marshmallows and sticks. You just need to start the fire after you unroll the sleeping bags." I couldn't help the huge smile that crossed my face from the fact that Bella had remembered how much I had wanted to go camping with her last year. Most of all, I had wanted to sleep with her in one sleeping bag and cuddle against her body for warmth. Even though I was tempted to go and lower the temperature in the house so we would have to stay warm, I decided against it. With me luck we'd end up with colds just in time to go back to college.

As Bella fetched a few more supplies out of her bag, I unzipped the two sleeping bags and then zipped them back up together, happily humming to myself the entire time. Once the tent and our makeshift bed were done, I prepared a fire in the fireplace and then Bella turned off all the lights and we sat down together on the floor with our backs against the couch, watching the wood burn and crackle.

It was then that it hit me; Bella was romancing me just like I had done with her before she left for Europe. How the hell had I been so blind? The fish, the blow job, the casserole, hell… even the light tour and the Christmas gifts had been Bella doing the same thing for me that I had done for her.

"I finally get it."

"Get what?" she asked as she pulled the blanket closer around her body.

"You have been seducing me."

"I didn't know I needed to seduce you, baby."

"The light tour, the beta fish, the casserole cooking and even the blow job. This is your seven days."

"I prefer to call it the 'Week of Woo', thank you very much," said Bella with a huge smile as I leaned in a kissed her.

"I love you, so fucking much, Bella Swan."

"I love you too, Edward Cullen."

Rather than turn on a movie, we sat around joking and rehashing stories from our youth, like the time our parents took both families camping and every time Charlie caught a fish Esme would throw it back in. Bella loved to tell the story of our moms taking us for a drive to the local store and seeing a mama bear and a baby bear at the side of the road. The women had slowed the car down to get a better look and the bear got defensive and was about to charge us when Renee slammed her foot down on the gas and got us the hell away from the bear. Renee didn't even like Winnie the Pooh or Yogi Bear after that, claiming all bears had a thing against her.

It was nearing midnight when Bella pulled out some old Jiffy Pop popcorn and we carefully roasted it over the fire in the fireplace before settling down again with two Pepsi's and one bowl of snacks. I figured that now was as good a time as any to get things off my chest. New year… new start, kind of thing.

"So, I talked to my mom earlier," I admitted shyly as Bella looked at me, waiting for more information. "I told her about my anxiety about us… about how I feel like I am just waiting for something bad to happen."

"Aww… baby, that's not really fair to you or me, is it? If you always expect something to go wrong, it will. I've apologized over and over again for the whole Liam debacle and I wish I could go back in time to last summer and not accept the Summer Abroad program, seeing as it tore us apart…"

"Bella, if it wasn't for the program, I never would have gotten my shit together and told you I was in love with you."

"Yeah, I suppose…"

"No suppose. I had failed miserably for years in trying to tell you that I wanted to be your boyfriend, and if it wasn't for the fact that you were leaving me, I may have never gotten the chance."

"I guess so. I just can't help like feel that Europe was where things went downhill for us."

"Things were great until Liam entered the picture, Bells. I don't hold it against you, you just happened to trust the wrong guy. Like my mother said, we learned our lesson and now we are trying to get past it. I just need to focus on you and me, and not other people coming in to ruin what we have."

"Okay, it's time we make our new years resolutions," Bella declared happily as she reached over and grasped my hand in hers, entwining our fingers. "We should agree to trust each other completely and talk about everything."

"Everything? Cause honestly, there are just some things I don't want to know… like about your girly stuff and what not."

"Oh shut up," Bella laughed as she punched me gently in the shoulder and I grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her onto me. I wrapped my hand around her waist and then rolled us over onto the sleeping bag bed beneath our massive tent fort. I had to admit, the entire thing was very cozy and I was bombarded with ideas of what to do in the summer when we really went camping.

"You know it's almost midnight," I said simply as I leaned up and kissed Bella on the lips, as my free hand threaded through her hair and held her close to me.

"Oh really? Is there something you wanted to do to ring in the New Year?"


	33. Always

**CPW: So here's the deal...**

**Risbee: This is the last official chapter before the epilogue. Can you believe it?**

**CPW: Yes, I can believe it. It's been over a year in the making.**

**Risbee: I'm already getting teary-eyed over the whole thing.**

**CPW: OMG, you are such a sap sometimes.**

**Risbee: At least I have a heart, unlike my collaborator here.**

**CPW: Meh, I've got a cool Canadian exterior and a warm evil center.**

**Risbee: We don't own Twilight, but I used to have a beta fish. As can be expected, CPW hates fish.**

**BPOV**

"Are you sure she'll be safe riding in that thing?" I glanced nervously into the back seat of Edward's car and watched Victoria, as she sat at the bottom of her little acrylic container, all the while staring at me with complete and utter hatred. When Edward looked at her, she did tricks and twirls and was a regular fucking Flipper, but with me she was such a bitch. I almost regretted not choosing one of the blue ones instead.

"She'll be fine. Jasper won one of those 'drop an egg from the roof and have it not break' contests with his cub scouts and he used the same type of technique to build Vickie's car seat. He spent days working on it and you know how Jasper is."

"Um…Vickie?" I said both a little amused and a little nauseated at the knowledge that Edward had a nickname for the demon fish.

"Shit. You weren't supposed to hear that." He sighed and paused for a minute before continuing, "Look, I was going to wait until we got back to school to let you down gently but I guess I should just go ahead and tell you. I mean, we didn't _mean_ it to happen, just one thing led to another…and then, well, she spent the night."

I gasped in mock horror and turned back again to scowl at the fish. "What happened to our resolution to communicate? All our promises and commitments on New Year's Eve? Or was that just part of your evil plan to get in my pants?"

"You were wearing a dress and I don't remember you protesting. In fact, you seemed rather agreeable with all your 'Yes! Yes! God Yes, Edward. Right there, Edward.'" I felt the inevitable blush start to creep across my face and I punched him, hard, in the arm. "Uh uh, Bella. No hitting the driver. I might get distracted and that wouldn't end well at all."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Yes, but I still hate you. And I'm never speaking during sex again."

"Oh, I don't know. I think secretly you are proud of yourself and besides, I apparently have ways of making you talk." As we pulled up to an intersection and waited for the light to turn green, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "and ways of making you scream."

Holy. Clench. And unf and swoon and I wanted him in my pants, now! Until I heard his laughter and then I glared at him again.

Okay, who was I kidding? I still wanted him naked and on me, which was why we were heading back to UW a day earlier than we had originally planned. Reconnecting on New Year's Eve had done wonderful things for us and going back to life in separate places was just not going to work out.

Emmett took one look at us on New Year's Day when he came over and pronounced that there was no way he was spending another three hours in the same car with us and called Rosalie to work out some sort of arrangement. I think there was some mention of a moped or a tandem bike or something; I wasn't sure. Anyway, as soon as I realized that it was just going to be the two of us in the car, I started thinking about all the rest stops and pull offs between Forks and school. We had a history with cars and I was all about upholding tradition.

Until I realized that our backseat was going to be occupied.

Maybe it was the fact that we made the drive in record time, or maybe it was the fact that Edward pulled me from the car and towards the dorm, without grabbing our luggage, but something told me that he was just as eager as I was for some, ahem, one on one time.

I may or may not have stuck my tongue out at Victoria as soon as Edward's back was turned.

_Mine._

Of course, as we probably should have predicted, things were not as easy as we had hoped. Even though most students weren't returning to campus until tomorrow, there was still a long line at the dorm office to check in. There were a few new security regulations and everybody had to sign forms stating that they were aware of the changes and new keys were issued. I was not amused and started looking around the lobby for a closet or alcove or hell, even a well placed ficus tree.

Especially when Edward started slowly running his finger just under the waistband of my jeans. It tickled and sparked and melted and felt so good and I never wanted to ever be away from him for more than a second ever again. He needed to stop, but I didn't want him to stop, and I grabbed his hand in mine because if I let it continue, then I felt pretty sure that there would be some dorm violations or public indecency charges on our record.

"Stop it," I whispered, leaning my head back on his shoulder and pulling his arm around me but not letting go. I didn't trust him… or myself.

With his free hand, he moved my hair off the back of my neck and over to one shoulder. Between slow kisses he whispered back, "I don't want to stop. I never want to stop." I knew he was talking about more than just this particular moment.

Ugh! Why in the world was there only one RA working check in? I grabbed my phone out of my bag and dialed Rosalie because I wasn't above begging for her to come down here and help out, at least until Edward and I had filled out our forms. Edward continued with the kisses and I was finding it increasingly difficult to feel my legs. It rang once and went directly to her voicemail. I was suspicious and tried again. Same thing.

"Call Emmett."

"You're really thinking about Emmett right now?" He licked the back of my neck and my knees buckled.

"What I'm thinking about is a way to get us upstairs faster. Call. Him."

"I like it when you're wound up." He nipped at my skin and pulled back, walking a few steps away to make the call and I wanted to kick myself for making him move. The looks I got from the people in front of us in line let me know that my whimper wasn't as quiet as I had intended it to be.

I'd say oops, but honestly I didn't really care.

As soon as he dialed, I heard the Imperial Death March and I looked around excitedly for Emmett, but I didn't see him. Edward came back and said there was no answer.

"Call him again."

"Bella, he's not answering."

"No… I think I hear his phone. If he's not answering, then I WILL hunt him down. Stay here and dial again." He looked at me like I was nuts, but did it anyway. I heard the ringtone again and started walking towards the middle of the lobby where the sound started getting louder and louder, but still a bit muffled.

"Again!" I yelled over to Edward, following the sound until I found Emmett's phone… between the cushions in a couch.

Damn. So close.

Sighing and just a little bit resentful, I walked back over to the line, shaking my head to let Edward know it didn't work out.

Oh well.

The good thing about all that was that it did take up a few minutes and eventually we got all checked in and signed up and keys were distributed. As soon as Edward put down his pen, it was my turn to grab _his _hand and pull him towards our rooms. I headed for the stairwell because there was no way I was waiting for the elevator. Those things were ridiculously slow.

Running and climbing, taking the stairs two at a time, we finally reached the third floor. Before he could push open the door however, I turned and backed him into the wall in the stairwell and kissed him until both of us were gasping for breath.

_Go me!_

I tried to go back for more but Edward stopped me. "My room is much more comfortable and," he gestured towards the stairs leading back down to the lobby where we could hear other people starting to make the climb, "much more empty."

"Emptier."

He pulled back and arched an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Come on. I want you to fuck me."

All grammar discussions were forgotten and we started down the hall, trying not to run, but walking really, _really_ fast. Not that we were fooling anybody.

Edward put the key in the lock and hastily opened the door. We didn't even turn on the light when we both entered the room, only pausing long enough to make sure that we locked the door behind us. I had his pants halfway unzipped and my shirt was hanging on one arm when suddenly the lights went on and I found myself starring directly at a side of Emmett I could have gone my entire life without seeing. Was that a birthmark on his left ass cheek?

"Emmett?" Edward's hands were suddenly over my eyes and I burrowed my head into his chest while trying to cover my thankfully-bra-covered chest.

"Bella?" A muffled voice from over in that direction sounded a bit like Rosalie, but I wasn't about to look back over there to verify.

"Rosalie?"

"Edward?"

I opened my eyes long enough to take a peek at Edward, who was suddenly paying close attention to the closet door. Movement in the corner of my eye told me that the frozen tangle of limbs on the bed were starting to try and, well, untangle and I risked taking a peek to see if it was okay to move. It was getting a little hard to breath with my face smooshed against Edward like it was.

_Oh my god! Was that her leg? There? Like that? I knew I shouldn't have looked._

"Why are they in here?" I whispered to Edward. He wasn't quite as discreet when he just flat out asked them the same thing.

"Yeah, why the fuck are you here?"

Emmett got out of the bed and walked across the room to his closet. Edward pulled his shirt over my eyes and while I loved stealing… wearing his clothes, they did seem to fit better when he wasn't wearing them too. No amount of struggling would make him release me, so I bit him.

"Ow, fuck Bella."

"Well, eventually, I hope." I said as I extracted myself from the cotton prison, folding my arms across my chest and pouting. I was a little fired up.

"So, what's the deal you two? Why aren't you in Rosalie's room? Doesn't she have a single?"

Emmett reappeared, dressed thankfully, from his closet and shrugged. "We were celebrating the fact that Rosalie isn't my TA anymore and that we don't have to hide our love."

V.O.M.I.T.

I mean, what do you say to something like that? Edward and I just stared at him blinked. Rosalie, however, wrapped the purple bed sheet around her body and flung herself at Emmett. "Really? Love? Really?" They started going at each other again and her sheet started loosening and then a bunch of sparkly stuff started to fall to the floor. Was that glitter?

Fine. We'd go to my room.

It was my turn to cover Edward's eyes as I turned him back around to face the door. "Come on, let's go. Waiting thirty more seconds won't hurt us. Have fun you two." There was no human way to accurately describe the noise I got from them in response, but something told me that they weren't listening to me anyway.

I didn't even bother putting my arms through my sleeves for the sprint to my room from Edward's. Again, its not like our intent wasn't written on our faces and I dared anybody to say anything to me. Plus, with our RA literally in bed with Emmett, it wasn't like we were going to get in any trouble.

Carefully I opened the door and peeked my head around the corner, flipping the light switch and exhaling in relief…no, relief wasn't a strong enough word. I exhaled in elation, joy, bliss, glee and whatever other happy word I could think of because the room was empty.

And quiet.

And all ours.

We didn't say a word as we tore and pulled and ripped and kissed and groped and unzipped and touched. Edward started to pull back when he realized that his jeans were stuck on his shoes, but I wouldn't let him move. Instead, I just shook my head and started walking backwards to my bed and he shuffled along with me like he was a member of a chain gang.

My legs hit the back of the bed and I lowered myself slowly, fingertips teasing Edward's naked skin as the traveled from his hair down his neck, over his shoulders and down his torso.

I raised my eyes to look up at his face and his expression just about did me in. He was passion and love and sex wrapped up in one beautiful package and suddenly, as frantic as I felt when we got in this room, I was now equally as determined now to take my time.

Our time.

We had no parents, no curfews, no siblings… no fish. It was just the two of us… Edward and Bella… with nowhere to go until classes started back in three days.

I wondered if I could get my leg the way Rosalie's was?

I let my eyes follow the path my fingers had just traveled and he really was beautiful. I skimmed my nose along his left hipbone, closing my eyes and just relishing the feel of his skin against mine. Staying naked with him for three days suddenly seemed like the best idea ever.

He was so thin, so lanky and his hip bone jutted out just a little bit in a sort of cute way, creating a speed bump of sorts for my nose. It was so cute and I couldn't help but kiss it softly again and again and again. Each time he felt my lips, Edward groaned a little and before I really realized it, his hands were in my hair and not so subtly tugging my head towards where he apparently felt I needed to focus my attention.

"Patience," I said looking up at him again, but not removing his hands from my hair. After all, I had another hipbone to appreciate and I was honestly enjoying myself. It was a bit of an ego boost knowing that his legs were quivering because of me.

Quivering was awesome. Legs shuffling away in rapid speed because my roommate was unlocking our door was totally a different story.

It was seriously like a scene from a bad Lifetime movie where the boyfriend was trying to hide from the girl's parents or from the unsuspecting husband or something. _Just_ as Edward closed the door to the closet, and _just _as I wrapped myself in my comforter, the door opened and Siobhan walked in.

Correction, Siobhan AND who I assumed was her boyfriend Seamus. Since I had never met him, I had to base my guess on the unmistakable hair and the fact that he seemed to be moaning with an Irish accent.

They were joined at the mouth like they were conjoined twins and it was eerily similar to the scene that played out in Emmett and Edward's room minutes earlier, but this point of view wasn't nearly as fun. I cleared my throat once, twice…three times before finally throwing my pillow at the writhing bodies and letting them know that unfortunately they were not alone.

Once they were completely separated, I waved before crossing my arms across my chest and arching my eyebrow in confusion. She wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow…at the earliest.

"Oh… feck, Bella. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow." Her cheeks were pink but I couldn't tell if that was because of Seamus or because she was actually embarrassed. My bet was on Seamus.

"Yeah, well we're…I'm here." I was hoping that maybe they thought I was sleeping or something and would decide to leave the room.

"Seamus's band is touring. Isn't that a bloody brilliant? He's staying 'ere tonight, since we're so jaded …." She walked over towards her bed and sat down.

It was at this point that I wanted to cry.

"We're going to go the pub tonight and have a few pints, get buckled. You and Edward should come wit us. What do you think, Coppertop? You up for it?" She yelled towards the closet and I gasped.

"How did you…what…who…how?"

"His belt is hanging oot under the door and it has moved a few times. I've lived with you for months now Bella, Edward is the only lad in your closet. Do ya take me for Fecky the Ninth?" The closet door opened a smidge and the end of Edward's belt disappeared. I couldn't help but giggle… and shrug.

By then, Seamus had wandered over to the bed and I watched in horror as he crawled underneath the covers and proceeded to shimmy his jeans off underneath the blanket and tossed them to the end of the bed.

Um… that was a bit… familiar. I guess _he_ didn't have any issues with meeting new people. Siobhan and I caught up for a few minutes and the whole time I kept waiting and waiting for her to motivate and leave. Then Seamus started snoring.

Fuck.

I heard some muffled rustling in the closet and eventually Edward stepped out. He looked around the room in confusion for a few minutes before finally getting an 'a-ha' look on his face and walked over towards my desk. He knelt down on the floor and reached under it, pulling his shirt out from below and putting it on.

"Bella, I need to get some air. That closet was a bit stuffy and cramped and well, I have some extra energy that I need to get rid of. Let's just go for a walk."

I wanted to cry and pout and possibly throw things when an exceptionally loud snore from behind Siobhan let me know that there was no chance of any smexy times happening in this room any times soon.

Edward handed me a shirt from my drawer and I unraveled myself from my comforter and put it on. Siobhan and Edward had both seen me in less and Seamus was asleep… why not.

"We need to stop by your car."

"Why?" He looked at me in confusion and I gestured to the fact that neither one of us had our coats with us and it _was_ January after all. We weren't exactly planning on going for a walk this afternoon. There was also the fact that Victoria was still buckled in the back seat and we probably needed to get her inside.

It sure would be a real shame if her water froze. _Snort._

"Oh god! The fish!" And he was gone.

"Bring me my coat!" I yelled to him as he ran down the hall and he waved in acknowledgment. At least I didn't have to go outside without it.

Twenty minutes later, after Victoria was situated in my room and Edward and I were bundled up in coats and hats, we walking mitten hand in gloved hand across campus.

We were finally alone… granted not how I had_ hoped_ we'd be, but alone nonetheless. Until we turned the corner and walked past the Student Store.

"Bella, do you mind if I run in here really fast? I promised Jasper I'd get him a UW t-shirt for his help earlier."

"Sure. Go ahead. I'm going to call mom really fast and just let her know we're here and settled and whatever. I forgot to do it earlier."

"Okay, I'll be right back." Nobody answered the phone at home, so I just left a message letting them know we were in Seattle. After I hung up the phone, I started to walk towards the store to go find Edward. Edward was not who I found.

"Bella?"

Fuck. My. Life.

"Hi Liam."

The only thing that could make this situation more uncomfortable would be if Edward walked out now and saw me talking to Liam. Or if Edward walked out of the Student Store with Claire.

Like he just did.

**EPOV**

The plan was simple enough – get Bella alone and fuck her senseless. We both wanted it desperately and I was so hard I could cut glass. Really, was I asking too much? Apparently the fates were against us and they were tossing everything they could in our way. First it was the newly outted Emmett and Rosalie and second it was Siobhan and her Irish rock band boyfriend, who smelled suspiciously like weed.

Then, as if we were being punished for something, Claire latched onto me when I reached the cash register of the UW store. She was being overly friendly and a little creepy, if I am being honest, but then she insisted on coming outside with me to wish Bella a Happy New Year when I let her know that we had gotten back together. Claire maintained she had turned a corner and was in a much better place than she was earlier in the semester. To be frank, I wasn't so sure I believed her.

That was until we walked out of the store and I saw Bella talking to the devil himself… Liam. My hands immediately balled into fists at my sides and I strode forward, intent on punching his lights out, but I never got a chance. Claire gave out a bone-chilling squawk and ran like she was fucking Flo Jo or some shit and wrapped herself around Liam, kissing him hard on the lips. It took all my effort not to let go of my breakfast and hurl everywhere.

"What in the motherfuck?"

Liam and Claire finally separated, giving themselves some air, as Bella came to my side and looked just as dumbstruck as I did. "I know, this is a bit like…whoa, right?" Claire said with a casual air about her as I gripped Bella's hand tightly in mine, needing some sort of support system to deal with this disaster. "Liam and I hooked up like right before exams started and it just sorta snowballed from there."

"I didn't know they could have snowballs in hell," Bella chimed in as I leaned against her shoulder and she stayed close to my side.

"Listen, I know both of you probably hate my guts," Liam began to say as I heard Bella utter 'understatement of the century' under her breath. "But, I was just seriously misguided and I really thought you liked me Bella."

"I did like you Liam, _as a friend_. I believe I stated that like ten million times and you just couldn't take the hint."

"I know, and I'm sorry about that. It was stupid and childish of me to mess with you and your relationship like that."

"Oh my god, someone finally pulled his head out of his ass," I commented as Bella snorted loudly at my side. "Well clearly all of your fucked up attempts and shenanigans didn't have a lasting effect," I added as I held up our joint hands and I kissed her knuckles sweetly. "I think it's a little interesting that you two found each other though."

"Let's just say we commiserated over our mutual issues and found a common ground."

"Then we slept together and things just sorta spiraled out of control from there," Claire said with a giggle as I noticed Bella roll her eyes before she tugged on my hand and motioned with her head towards the parking lot. She always knew exactly what I was thinking, which was that I wanted to get as far away from these two unstable people as quickly as possible.

"Very interesting… anywhoo, Edward and I were just leaving, so you guys go do… whatever it is you like to do and we'll hopefully _not_ see you around." Without a second glance, Bella pulled me away from the gruesome twosome and we made our way to the parking lot, where my car still sat with all of our bags that we hadn't taken upstairs when we had arrived.

"That was beyond surreal."

"You can say that again."

"I used to joke that Liam and Claire would be perfect together, but I didn't seriously mean it. Is it wrong I hope we never see them again?" Bella asked as we stopped in front of my car and she leaned against the drivers' side door.

"Are you hungry? Maybe we should go for an early dinner?"

"What are we 80?"

"Oh stop it, get in the car and let's go."

Ten minutes later we were driving down N Northlake Way after having to deal with being rerouted due to an accident, when Bella spotted a nearby park and pointed to the parking lot. It was empty, as was to be expected during the first week of January. Not that many people loved hanging around Lake Union during a cold snap.

"I thought you were hungry?"

"Not for food," Bella replied simply as I pulled the car to a stop and she immediately unbuckled her belt and reached over to me. I froze, unsure of what to do, and I didn't want to be arrested either.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I was hoping I wouldn't need to draw you a picture," she said with a smirk as her quick moving hands began to undo my jeans and her hand found it's way inside to grasp my cock.

"Well no, I know what the deal is…" I said with a sigh as Bella stopped holding my dick and yanked at my pants until my cock sprung free and when I looked over at Bella, she as staring at my length hungrily. "And I'm guessing you know what you want?"

"Oh yes, Mr. Cullen," Bella replied huskily as she leaned forward, ignoring the console between us, as she took my cock into her mouth, eliciting a long, low groan from me. My hands stayed at ten and two on the wheel, gripping it firmly as Bella stayed beneath my arms, literally going to town on me. I tried with all of me to simply enjoy the sensation of Bella's hot mouth around my cock, but my eyes kept darting around to make sure there was no one around to see us. This park wasn't nearly as tree-filled as the one we had visited after Bella returned from Europe.

"Fuck, you look so good like that," I admitted unabashedly as I took my hand to move Bella's long hair from her face, letting me see her better. Bella stopped and leaned back on her heels on the passenger seat, using an elastic from around her wrist to pull her hair back off of her face.

"Push the seat back as far as it can go." I didn't hesitate at her words, and I breathed a sigh of relief that there was still no people around as I watched Bella yank down her jeans and panties. She moved quickly as she spread her legs and climbed on top of me, her wet slit just above where I needed it. "I don't even care if we get caught, I just needed to feel you…"

Bella reached back and pulled a condom from the stash we had in my glove box, and I was sheathed quickly and desperate to get into her. It didn't take but thirty seconds for Bella to hold onto the back of my seat and lower herself onto me, both of us groaning loudly in pure pleasure at the intense contact.

We moved in perfect rhythm, the sounds our of moans and our body moving against each other filling the car as our hands moved as much as they could, and my lips touched every inch of her that I could. It was primal, yet clumsy, but I couldn't find it in me to care that we were fucking in a car… yet again. I just wanted to feel her come undone around me. Bella pressed her lips hard against mine before sucking my bottom lip between my teeth as she ground her hips harder against me, making me shudder. Her fingers dug into my shoulders and she practically said my name as a purr as she came for me, squeezing my cock and making me come right after her.

"Jesus, I needed that," Bella remarked as her forehead fell against mine and I kissed her slowly, my hand threading through her hair and pulling her close to me.

"That makes two of us." I wrapped my arms tightly around Bella and heard the sound of rocks under a tire as a car parked in the lot a few spots away from us. "So much for cuddling after sex."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I'm kinda hungry now." Bella and I both broke out into laughter as she climbed off my lap and we tried to resituate ourselves as quickly as we could. "And I'm feeling like Italian, so get to it."

Twenty minutes later after fighting over whether to wait in line at the Olive Garden or some other mainstream Italian restaurant, Bella and I found ourselves walking into a small restaurant with red and white checkered table cloths and chianti bottles with fake flowers in them. It was all very typical, but as Bella held my hand tightly in hers, I realized that it didn't matter where we were, as long as we were together.

We ordered our dinners, Bella going with her old favorite lasagna and I chose chicken parmesan, and as we sat in comfortable silence I couldn't help but notice an older couple sitting across the restaurant from us.

"I wonder what their story is," Bella commented, staring at the couple unabashedly like I was. They were the epitome of cuteness and romance as he offered her bread from the basket and poured her a small glass of wine, sensing her needs before she said anything. "I bet that based on their age, they've been together for decades."

"Okay, so they are probably in their early 80's, right?" I questioned, playing along with her game.

"Yeah, about that I would say."

"Then if they hooked up as teenagers, kinda like us, they would be together for over sixty years."

"Can you imagine if we were together that long?" Bella asked as my hand reached between us and squeezed her thigh gently.

"I do, everyday."

"You seriously… see us together for sixty years?"

"Bella, when you look into the future do you picture yourself with anyone else?"

"Well no…"

"And don't you think when we do end up together, because it's an inevitability not something that will happen by chance,"

"You sound pretty confident."

"About some things, yes. Anyways, don't you want us to be together 60 years? I mean, I seriously think we will feel gipped if we aren't together till we're in our 80's."

"We aren't going to die together like Allie and Noah in that movie your mom made me watch, are we?"

"The Notebook?" I questioned as Bella grinned from ear to ear.

"See, I knew you were paying attention. I know you said you weren't, but I saw a tear spill from your eye that day, baby." I growled and reached up and began tickling Bella's side playfully, just as the waitress brought our drinks to the table. We stopped momentarily, both of us catching our breath, but I also couldn't help but blush as I remembered that night several years earlier when my mother made us watch that movie. I fought against watching it initially, but when I found out Renee and Bella were coming over, suddenly I was all for it. After all, what was wrong with an evening watching a romantic drama with the girl I had wanted since I knew girls didn't have cooties?

I looked over at Bella as she sipped her drink and couldn't help the smirk that grew on my face. I knew for a fact that we had a good sixty plus years ahead of us, and I couldn't wait to get started right away.

"What's with the look on your face?"

"What look?"

"You're thinking too hard again."

"Look at them, Jerry. Don't they remind you of us when we were youngsters?" said the woman from the couple we had been watching earlier.

"Just like us Sophia, you are right," replied her husband as they went passed our table and smiling brightly at Bella and I.

"Um excuse me, would you mind answering a quick question for me?" I asked swiftly, hoping to catch them before they left. Jerry and Sophia just nodded their heads slowly and waited for me to ask. "We just wanted to know…when did you guys know you had found the right one?"

"I fell for her the day I met her in the first grade," Jerry said matter of factly. "It just took my darling Soph a little longer to come to that realization. We've been together since her 18th birthday though."

"Yeah well, it took you a while to ask me out, Jerry."

"You can't rush perfection, dear," he replied with a sweet kiss to her cheek as they then entwined their fingers together, very much like Bella and I had just done. "It's been sixty two perfect years and I wouldn't trade one moment from them for anything in the whole world."

"You certainly have a love that most people can only dream of," Bella commented genuinely as I reached my arm over her shoulder and kept her against me, wanting to be as close to her as possible.

"I can sense the same of you two," Jerry replied as he looked over at me and winked. "Don't let her go. If she's half the woman of my Soph, she's worth every second."

The couple walked away, leaving Edward and I with huge smiles on our faces just as our dinner was being served. "So….am I worth it?"

"Every. Single. Second."

Jaded = Tired

Buckled = Drunk

Coppertop = Ginger / Red-Head

Fecky the Ninth = a complete idiot


	34. Perfection

**CPW: This is it.**

**Risbee: The end is nigh... more at the end.**

**Summer after First Year of College**

**EPOV**

"Did you want to do the Jack the Ripper tour? It now comes in Ripper Vision… whatever the fuck that is?" I asked Bella as we sat at a small cafe in the heart of London, flipping through guidebooks and trying to determine what to do next.

Even as I sat there, thousands of miles away from Seattle and exploring England with Bella, I couldn't believe we were here. It had all come about so quickly that as soon as the semester was over, Bella and I moved our stuff back to Forks, had two days to pack and then were back in Seattle boarding a flight.

Bella had seen a flyer in the library promoting cheap trips to Europe and the moment she mentioned it to me, I was sold. She had done some tutoring during our second semester and saved up almost a thousand dollars for the trip and I may have begged for flight money from my parents as an early birthday gift. I had some money saved up from filming a few random bar mitzvahs and some campus events, which I knew would cover most of my expenses, but not the flight.

Our parents were surprisingly encouraging about the entire thing, even Charlie. Bella, in her own dramatic fashion, kept insisting that she would go by herself if she had to and he then jumped on the bandwagon. If there was one thing Charlie didn't want, it was Bella _alone_ in a foreign country. So, with our finances set and our parents on board, Bella and I packed our bags and headed to England, planning on short visits in Ireland and Scotland as well. We would be gone for almost two months.

Two glorious months alone with Bella, staying in hostels, going wherever the hell we wanted to and basically just doing whatever we felt like. Hell, if we wanted to stay in bed until three in the afternoon and eat something called bangers and mash, we could. That was the joy of our trip, and so far I loved every single second of it.

Bella had been a bit nostalgic in the beginning, the sights reminding her of her first trip to Europe, but she was over the moon excited about me tagging along this year. That, and there was no studying to do.

"Uh… whatever it is it sounds creepy as hell. What else is there in the area?"

"Harrods isn't too far away if you feel like shopping?"

"Do I ever feel like shopping?" Bella asked with a giggle as I remembered how much she bitched and complained when we had to stock up on supplies for our trip. "Buckingham Palace is nearby right? We haven't done that yet."

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the map in the book. We were near the Piccadilly Circus subway line so we could easily head over to Hyde Park station. Sure, Bella and I had been confused by the subway, or tube, in the past but we were getting the hang of things. "Okay, let's do the Palace. They must do tours or something like that. Plus, I think my mother would kick my ass if we didn't see it."

"Well, don't sound so enthusiastic about it."

"Its fine, Bella. Let's do it!" I tried to drum up a bit more excitement about it all, but all the tourist sites were beginning to grate on me. Well, the sites were lovely, but some of the tourists were less than desirable.

Bella and I had already visited the National Gallery, The London Eye and Lyceum Theatre. There were other well known places we were planning to head to like The Tate, Big Ben and Westminster Abbey, but we hadn't quiet made it to them. It wasn't for lack of trying either. I also had to remind Bella that we didn't have to do everything in the first few days in London. We had actually just gone out for a walk on our first official day in London and strolled upon three different sights we wanted to visited, so we did them.

We went to the Eye and were going to head across Westminster Road Bridge to see Big Ben, but we decided to head into the London Sea Life Aquarium instead. We stayed there until it closed, managed a quick dinner of, ironically enough, fish and chips before heading back to our hostel and passing out.

We had been in London for four days and we had been so busy, I hadn't even had the chance to put the moves on my girlfriend in a foreign country yet.

Later in the afternoon, after having managed not to walk out on the tour of Buckingham Palace – we were stuck with the tour guide with a massive stutter and lisp – Bella and I strolled hand in hand down The Mall towards Trafalgar Square. We had enjoyed ourselves, mainly making fun of the tour guide, who was nervous as hell and clearly a newbie, but it wasn't the Palace that made it interesting, it was the company.

"So, when do you want to head to Dublin? We have the hostel here for 2 more days, but we can extend it if you want?" Bella questioned, as yet another red double-decker tour bus passed us and she punched me in the arm. We had decided to play a game, similar to punch bug, where every time we saw a red double-decker bus we had to punch the other; I was losing.

"When did Siobhan say we could visit?"

"She gets home from the U.S. tomorrow. She joined Seamus for the last leg of his tour. Who would have ever thought that his Irish death metal band, Drop the Hand, would ever get signed to a record deal? They were fucking horrible."

"Well, clearly some people like that sort of shit," I said with a laugh. "Anyways, how about we stay till Thursday and give her a few days to recover from coming home?"

"Sounds good. I'm email her tonight from the hostel to let her know."

"How about we just get back to the hostel and take it easy tonight?" I asked with a suggestive wink as my hand slid around Bella's waist and I pulled her against my side.

"My, Edward Cullen, it doesn't sound like you want to take it easy at all," Bella replied with an easy grin as I leaned in and kissed her lips sweetly. She knew me so well.

"Well no… not really. I'd just like some time alone with my stunning girlfriend."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, baby."

"I'm counting on it."

Three hours later, Bella and I found ourselves fumbling around, trying to get out of our clothes, as we struggled in our small room. "Next time, I'm booking the room," I declared as I finally tugged my shirt off and tossed it away from us. Sure, we had limited time to get everything booked for our trip, but surely we could have done better than this closet that the hostel claimed was a private room.

"Okay, fine… you can book the rooms in Ireland and Scotland then. Good luck finding something suitable that isn't expensive or disgusting," Bella declared with a sigh as she stood there with her hands on her hips clad only in her panties and bra. Jesus, she had certainly grown up over the years hadn't she? "Now, are you going to keep complaining about this matchbox sized room or are you going to fuck me?"

"Holy shit… what happened to my unable to talk dirty girl?"

"She's in a foreign country and feeling frisky," Bella announced huskily as I launched myself up from the edge of the bed and wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her as hard as I could. Our lips melded together as small moans of contentment fell from our lips. It had been so long since we had been together last, like since just after finals, and it felt like everything was finally perfect again.

My fingers danced lightly up Bella's soft back and I unclasped her bra, not without some effort mind you, and let it slide to the floor between us. Within seconds my mouth was latched onto her nipple, my tongue lathing and tracing it as Bella's moans grew a bit louder and she let her head fall back slightly. Unfortunately for us, we were both losing all semblance of balance.

"Bed," Bella said forcefully as I pushed her back against the wall and thrust my hand inside her sheer panties, immediately stroking her clit. "Oh… fuck…" Her hands wrapped around my neck tightly as she pulled me against her for a deep kiss, full of longing and unsaid words and desperation.

"That bed is so fucking old and squeaky…"

"I don't care," she sighed as I slipped one finger inside her and she bit down on her lip, which was my undoing. I was already hard as a rock but I could literally feel the pre-cum building and needed to be buried inside of her. "All of London could hear us right now and I wouldn't care."

"Good to know," I replied as I sucked at the base of her throat for a moment, my fingers bringing her to the edge, before I pulled them out and sucked them clean. Bella just looked at me in awe, like she had never seen me do it before. I roughly shoved my boxers down and then reached my hand down Bella's smooth thigh, lifting it up so it was hooked onto my hip. "We won't need the bed tonight, baby."

"Oh no?" Bella questioned as I grasped her ass and lifted her up, pressing her firmly against the wall behind us. Her other leg immediately wrapped around my waist and with a swipe of my hand, her panties were off to the side and I was pressing myself against her. "Oh… fuck yes…"

I slipped inside her warmth and immediately buried my head in the crease of her neck, trying not to come. I had to go slow at first, Bella's moans of encouragement not doing anything to diminish my urge to release inside of her, but once I hit my stride, it was pure heaven. I fucked her as hard as I could against the wall of our room, her head pressed firm against the wall so that it wasn't hurting her. Bella's fingers were threaded through my hair as she held on for dear life, purring into my ear and whispering surprisingly dirty things. Well, dirty things for my girl.

Even with my cock buried inside her to the hilt and her breasts pressed against my chest, I still couldn't believe she was mine and we had come so far from fucking on her mother's car in the rain a year earlier. "Edward… so fucking… mmmm good…" Bella panted as she tightened her grip around my waist and I could tell she was close. Her body tensed and convulsed as her mouth fell open and she made the most erotic sounding moan I had ever heard in my life. Needless to say, I came seconds later and I somehow managed to carry her to the small, squeaky bed, where we laid sated and happy.

At least we were happy for about 1 minute.

"Edward… did you guys stop fucking, yet? Rosalie and I didn't come all this way to be stuck listening to you to bitches fuck all the time. Get out of the room and come give us a hug."

"No… no no no no," Bella moaned as she shot up in the bed and looked at me terror-stricken. "That isn't who I think it is, is it?" There was no way in hell it was anyone but Emmett. How the hell he knew we were here in the first place was a bit mind boggling to both of us though. If there was one thing Bella and I both wanted from this trip, it was a bit of a break from the Emmett and Rosalie PDA show that had been in full effect since Rosalie was no longer his TA. "How did they know?"

"Open the damn door. Did you think you could run off to England without us?" shouted Rosalie as I cringed and Bella jumped up and began getting dressed. Sure, her shirt was on backwards by the time we opened the door, but they knew we were having sex, so it's not like we really had to hide it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Your father," Emmett said as he looked at Bella with a straight face. "I guess he didn't want you two traveling alone, so here we are. Now where are we sleeping?"

**BPOV**

**Four Years Later**

I felt like I was suffocating. My throat was tight, there was a ringing in my ears and I had what felt like the beginnings of cleavage sweat.

Not cool.

I grabbed a program from the dresser and started fanning myself with it and walked over to the wall to check the thermostat. "Who the hell turned the heat on?" Nobody answered me because they were all so fucking busy talking to everybody else. A parade of chainsaw wielding clowns could have marched through the room and I doubt anybody would have looked up.

That was it. I had to get out of here. I stormed over to where Angela was taking processional lessons, from my mother of all people, and grabbed her arm.

"No! That's too fast! You have to move slowly, elegantly, gracefully!" Renee started squawking about rhythm and the Pachelbel's canon and how bouquets should be held with arms at a right angle. If I had a bouquet in my hands right now, I probably would have flung it at her head.

"Rosalie. Plan X. Now."

Rosalie's head shot up from where she had been listening to stories from Edward's grandmother about something or other and I swear she looked like I just told her she had won the lottery. "Fuck yes!" She covered her mouth before apologizing to the sweet, yet overly chatty, lady sitting next to her.

"What is this Plan X and why don't I see it anywhere on the itinerary?" Esme started fumbling through the clipboard that had been attached to her hip since Edward and I announced our engagement on New Year's Day. She picked up the walkie-talkie she had from the holster around her waist…yes, she wore a holster…and I heard her try and get in touch with Renee - who was a whole three feet away, still trying to instruct Angela on the proper bridesmaid processional.

Between the instructions and the walkie-talkies and the heat and the swearing, I'd had enough. After finally extracting Angela from my mom's tentacles, I nodded at Rosalie who had been instructed to create a distraction. Once Angela and I were gone, she knew what she had to do.

"Renee, Esme…Bella told me you two actually met Rick Springfield?" I was only slightly disturbed by the glassy grins that spread across their faces and they both advanced on Rosalie like lions to their prey. I wasn't worried though, Rosalie could handle them.

"Let's go," I hissed to Angela who grabbed her purse and keys from the closet. "They won't stop talking long enough to breathe for a good 15 minutes, much less realize that we're gone."

We bolted out of the church and into the parking lot where we hopped into Angela's waiting convertible. I may have been so eager to leave that I hopped over the door and into the seat.

I'd always wanted to do that.

We tore out of the parking lot with scarves around our hair and sunglasses looking like a modern day Thelma and Louise, but without Brad Pitt. I had my Edward though, well, assuming everything worked according to plan. I couldn't call him because I'd purposely left my phone at the church so I couldn't be tracked down.

Rosalie knew what to tell him.

"Wait! I have the perfect song for this so we need to go back and start over!" Angela started fumbling around for her iPod, first in her purse and then the glove compartment and finally the backseat.

"Angela," I said through gritted teeth, my hands white-knuckled on the dashboard, "Focus on the road and just keep driving. I was about fifteen seconds from having a mental breakdown in there. The whole point of this drive was to get away from it all. If we go back now, they will find me and if I have to listen to one more word of advice from anybody I…" I shoved my hand in front of Angela's and slammed it down on the steering wheel, accidentally beeping the horn. "Fuck it, we can't wait anymore otherwise somebody is going to find us. Pull over, find the song and hit play whenever you're ready."

I leaned my head back on the headrest and focused on my breathing. The sun was shining brightly, making the fall colors of the leaves make the trees look like they had burst into flames. The windows were down and the wind was doing a hell of a job on our hair even with the scarves, but I honestly couldn't care any less.

Ten seconds down the road and I already felt better, like I could breathe again and not suffocate on the overwhelming presence of my mother, or Edward's mother or even his grandmother. Jesus fuck, those women loved to give out unsolicited advice.

Twenty minutes later we pulled off the side of the road and started walking down the well worn, yet still hidden path that led to the meadow. I grabbed one of the blankets I had stashed in Angela's trunk, just in case, hitched my dress up to my knees and started walking.

"Are you sure they're going to know where to find us?" Angela caught up to me, huffing and wheezing and I realized that I was practically running, but I had to get to my safe place.

"Yeah, Edward knows where to go. We've been coming here for years." I couldn't help but smile and think of that day before London when we blew bubbles and he gave me the bracelet I felt rest lightly on my wrist.

"I had no idea this place was here."

"We found it years ago and have been coming here whenever we needed a break from everything. It's like our own little safe spot in a big world of crazy." I looked around at the clearing, surrounded by tall trees like a fortress, but completely open and exactly the opposite of what it felt like in the church.

Angela's phone buzzed and she checked the screen. "It's Rosalie." Good. If it had been Emmett, I knew that we had been discovered. "They're on their way. ETA in ten." My heart started beating faster and the smile on my face grew until my cheeks hurt. They'd be here in ten minutes and part two of the plan could begin.

"I can't believe you're actually going to do this," Angela said hugging me and then bouncing up and down. "Though really, it is totally you two. You don't need all the fluff and frills and formality, just each other…and you've known that from the get go. Gah, it's so romantic."

"Oh, we'll still have the ceremony if only to appease Renee and Esme, but it was becoming theirs instead of ours and I think that in the back of my mind, I knew this would end up happening." A few anxious minutes later, I could hear the sound of tires on gravel and car engines. "They're here. I'm getting married!"

"You're getting married!"

And then there was squeeing.

"Okay, I have to run. Let you two have your moment and everything. Turn around and I'll bring him to you. No peeking." She turned me around to face the opposite direction and headed toward the tree line to meet Edward. There, she would blindfold him and bring him to me, and when we were alone again, we'd get to finally see each other.

I couldn't wait to see him. I ran my hands down the side of my dress, smoothing it out. Then I closed my eyes tight and twirled around to get the butterflies out of my stomach.

Still alone.

I started bouncing and dancing to the music in my head and the smile on my face was actually starting to hurt my cheeks because I was just so incredibly happy. Edward made me happy. We made me happy. And soon we were going to be 'we' forever. It was all I could do to not turn around and peek when I finally heard footsteps in the grass.

"Don't even think about it, Swan." I heard Ben's voice and that made it all the more real.

"Swan soon to be Cullen."

"Okay, Swan soon to be Cullen. Still, just keep still. I have explicit instructions on what to do next and you are not going to get me in trouble with Rosalie. That girl is scary as hell when she gets authoritative."

Back towards the tree line a voice yelled, "I heard that!" and all three of us started to laugh.

"Alright. Edward, you stand right here. And Bella," hands guided me a few steps back until I could feel Edward behind me, "you stand right…here." I moved my hands back until I found his and interlaced my fingers with his, giving him a squeeze and I heard the sound of a camera shutter clicking away.

"Hurry up, Ben. I'm ready to see my girl," Edward squeezed my hands back and I felt like I was flying

My girl. _Swoon._

"Right. On the count of three, turn around. One…two…oh, wait. I left something in my car…"

"BEN!" Edward and I both yelled and he started laughing.

"Kidding guys…three. Turn around."

So we did and I wanted to cry.

Edward was beautiful in his dark suit and messy hair. I reached up to pick a leaf out of it and the second my hand made contact with him, it was like _that_ moment. It wasn't a spark or a flame or a heartbeat, it was just _that _moment. We didn't need the ceremony or the piece of paper, though we'd have both in a matter of minutes, but from that moment on things _were_.

I couldn't explain it, there right words didn't exist, but the feelings, the emotions, the love that I felt for the man standing before me transcended anything I'd ever felt before. Ever.

The camera was clicking away beside us. Behind us. In front of us. I think at one point, Ben was lying on the ground taking pictures from underneath. All I could see was Edward and our history playing in the background. It was magical.

"You…look…gorgeous." Still holding both of my hands in his, Edward stepped back and looked at me.

"I'm wearing white. It's scandalous, really." I joked because that was what I did. Always. "What I have on underneath _may_ have some blue on it. Somewhere. You know, just for tradition and all that." His eyes darkened a bit and, God he was pretty.

"You really want to do this here? You're not going to regret it tomorrow or next week or next year?"

"Edward, we're still going to have the ceremony at the church. But I just want to be married first with just you. I will regret nothing in my life as long as you are a part of it. Period. Now, let's get Nettie over here and make you my husband. Unless, of course, you're just asking because you're scared of what Esme is going to do when she finds out."

His eyes widened. "We're telling Esme before the church part?"

Silly boy. "Of course not, do you think I'm stupid? We'll tell them after we get back from our honeymoon. Or maybe after our tenth anniversary." We laughed and Ben waved the rest of the group over. Emmett, Rosalie, Angela… and the Reverend Nettie. Oh, and Magoo.

"What's that?" Edward whispered as we watched the group of our best friends approach.

"It's a dog."

"I don't see a…"

"It's a dog, Edward. Trust me."

"But isn't it just one of those silly novelty shop things."

"It's a dog, Edward. Named Magoo. I lived with it for six weeks. Meet it. Know it. Love it. And nobody gets hurt." I bent down to pet Magoo before hugging my friends.

"We're all here?"

"Everybody that matters."

"Well, then let's do this."

So surrounded by our closest friends, an invisible dog and under the bright blue Forks sky, Edward and I were married. It wasn't traditional, it wasn't formal, it wasn't scripted out in a program and the music may have been provided by Emmett on a harmonica, but it was ours.

And it was beautiful.

**January 3 years later**

**EPOV**

"I am going to kill, Emmett," my mother shouted as she stumbled into the room looking rather flustered. She smoothed down her shirt and turned to us with a false smile on her face. "How is everything going here?"

I looked at Bella and she shrugged her shoulders as I offered her the cup of ice chips she had been nursing for the past hour. We had rushed our way into Seattle General Hospital almost six hours ago, but unfortunately Bella hadn't progressed much in her labor since we had arrived. She had been 3 centimeters dilated when we got here and we were stalled at five now.

"He got you here didn't he?" I questioned as my mother groaned loudly and went to sit beside my wife, clearly looking for sympathy.

"His… his truck is a death trap. I understand we are having a blizzard out there but it didn't mean I wanted to take my life into my hands. I seriously saw my future flash before my eyes on more than one occasion and it wasn't pretty. You guys called the baby Reneesme!" Bella and I both shuddered at the ridiculous name just as Renee strolled into the room holding a cup of coffee and looking smug.

"Nice to see you finally arrived for the birth of your first grandchild, Nana," she cracked as my mother glared at her. When we had first broken the news to our parents about Bella's pregnancy, the dads were beside themselves with excitement to be grandfathers, but it was Renee and my mother who began debating what they should be called by the future baby. It all came down to a game of rock paper scissors and Renee won out, choosing the name Grandma, which Esme wanted.

However, that was no major argument compared to what happened later that same night when Bella accidently let it slip, claiming it was due to the pregnancy, that we had really gotten married in the meadow before the church. The mothers were incredulous and I felt bad for my mother at first, knowing all the work she had put into everything. However, it just wasn't us... the meadow had been perfect.

"I told you that you should have taken the week off and stayed in Seattle with me and Charlie, but no… you didn't believe me when I told you about my family history."

"Excuse me Renee, but I find it very hard to believe that all the women in your family actually give birth on their due dates. Bella hasn't even hit her due date yet."

"She has 3 more hours. Believe me, the little princess in there isn't coming out until at least midnight." I rolled my eyes and looked at Bella who was clearly trying to hide the contraction she was currently experiencing. I walked towards her and gripped her hand, letting her squeeze the hell out of it. Surely the squeezing was better than the yelling about me knocking her up in the first place that Emmett had endured not too long ago.

When Bella and I had first broached the topic of having a child, it was shortly after our honeymoon in Hawaii, when we had a false positive on a test. Of course we weren't anywhere near to being parents, having finally gotten rid of our own on a permanent basis and settled into a nice apartment in Seattle, but we were both disheartened slightly. After many long conversations, we decided to wait until we were further settled into our careers and had bought a house.

I was thriving as a teacher of film studies at a local creative high school and Bella was a features reporter at the Seattle Times, after busting her ass for the first four years on the paper. There were many nights when she was curled up with her laptop typing away for a story rather than with me, but I loved seeing her so happy with her career. These days it was rare to see people actually in a job for which they got their degree.

Rosalie and Emmett were also exceptions to the rule, running their own architecture design firm out of Port Angeles and raising two rambunctious boys. They had gotten pregnant the night of our wedding and Cooper was born 9 months later, having just turned 2. Ryan came along only 3 months ago and Bella had been thrilled to have someone to go through her pregnancy with. Of course, there was a quickie wedding in Las Vegas not long after the first pregnancy was discovered.

Suddenly, Emmett burst into the room with a huge smile on his face and his hair covered in snow. "Did we have him yet? Rosalie is home with her mother and the boys. They are taking bets on Facebook about the gender and weight and all that."

"Him?" Renee piped up as she took in Emmett's look and grimaced. "Go shake off in the hallway. The last thing we need is the doctor slipping on your wet boot marks as Bella delivers the baby. Now shoo."

Emmett didn't budge, having learned over the years how to handle Renee in his own special way. "Yes, him. It's going to be a boy. Rosalie had two boys and I know how women carry them when they are pregnant. The girls had the same cravings and…"

"Emmett, I told you a month ago after the baby shower that this was going to be a girl… little Crystal Suzette Swan Cullen."

"Woah," Bella shouted out as I noticed her heart rate increase slightly, so I rubbed her back to calm her down. "I told you over and over again there was no way she was being called Crystal Suzette."

"And it's Cullen only," I added as Bella nodded her head in agreement.

"Oh fine, you guys have no sense of adventure," Renee grumbled as she waved at Emmett to go get his shoes cleaned and it was clear she meant business. This is how it had been since Renee and Charlie had arrived at the hospital 4 hours earlier. She was bossing everyone around and trying to have some sense of control in a situation that she couldn't control. Bella and I had decided to just let her do her thing and ignore her as best as we could.

A minute later another contraction hit and I coached Bella through it as we listened to our mothers argue about baby names. "Oh hell no," Bella screamed out as she did her Lamaze breathing. "There is no way in hell this baby is being called Jessie, either. There will be no Rick Springfield references when it comes to my child." Bella's breathing didn't seem to calm down after she yelled, so I rubbed her back and stared daggers at the mothers who looked a little disheartened.

"Why don't you ladies go find Charlie & Emmett. I'm sure Dad will be arriving any minute now that the surgery he was scheduled to perform is done, so go find him. Just… go."

The moment the mothers left the room, Bella's doctor walked in and began reading through her chart. He recommended that Bella be given some sort of drug that would speed her labor along and Bella was more than willing. In fact, she kept asking about the epidural and he reassured her that the anesthesiologist would be up as soon as she could to get her taken care of.

Two and a half hours later Bella was getting ready to push with our mothers on one side, trying to be encouraging, yet following our rules of keeping quiet, and I was on the other side, holding her hand. "This is going to be worth it very soon, baby. He or she will be out and you'll look into their eyes and be ready to do it all over again."

"Not bloody likely," Bella replied as she clenched her teeth and began her Lamaze breathing. "No more after this, seriously. We'll have invisible babies like Nettie has Magoo. No diapers to change or late night feedings…"

"Are you serious?" I asked as the mothers looked at us in complete surprise.

"Right now… yes!"

"Okay, Bella, you can push now," Dr. Malcolm said encouragingly as the nurses talked Bella through each step. I was complementing her constantly and urging her to keep going when she felt like she didn't have any more strength in her and it was with tears in both of our eyes, that our tiny daughter, Sophie Grace Cullen, made her way into the world.

Bella's eyes literally sparkled and she smiled from ear to ear when they placed our daughter into her arms, all swaddled in a blanket and looking so small and fragile. "I can't believe she's finally here," I admitted as I kissed Bella's forehead and we both stared at our daughter in wonder.

"I can believe it. It's just after midnight. I told you guys all the women in my family give birth on their due date," Renee said with a smile as she kissed Bella's cheek and then stepped into the hallway with my mother to give us a few minutes alone.

"Can you promise me one thing?" Bella asked as Sophie cried lightly and I stroked her cheek with my finger, instantly calming her.

"Whatever you need, baby."

"Promise me if I ever get to be anything like my mom, you will slap some sense into me?" I grinned broadly and nodded my head before I rested my forehead against Bella's and Sophie gave out a small noise, clearly wanting to remind us of her existence.

"You were right, by the way," Bella chimed in as I looked at her in confusion. "I would totally do this again in a heartbeat."

"Me too, beautiful. Me too."

_We're still here  
What a beautiful mess this is  
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"_

_Through timeless words and priceless pictures  
We'll fly like birds not of this earth_

_And tides they turn and hearts disfigure  
But that's no concern when we're wounded together_

_And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts  
But it's nice today. Oh, the wait was so worth it._

-A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz

**CPW: Okay, seeing as this is the end of the story we need to thank MaggieMay14 for constantly helping us manage our way through this story. She is the best sounding board and friend anyone could ask for, seriously. You can't have her though, she's all ours. **

**Risbee: Much love to anyone and everyone who reads & reviews this story, as well as everyone who has ever rec'd us. The folks over on our Twilighted board are some of the best and we thank bgwillis for setting that bad boy up for us even though we aren't there nearly as much as we wish we were.**

**CPW: As you know we are both working on individual stories, so you can still read our works.**

**Risbee: I'm sure we will write something else together in the future, right?**

**CPW: Sure... we could always do something together for Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness. After all, I do have an 'in' since I'm running the charity event with Aylah50. Fandom4saa . wordpress .com**

**Risbee: Is that you asking?**

**CPW: You should know me better by now... I'd just force you into it. Oh, and check out the Jukebox Contest... I may happen to know a little birdie or two who have written for that awesome contest. Voting is now up.**

**Risbee: Can we just shut up now, I'm getting emo.**

**CPW: You got it.**

**Risbee: Thanks again for coming along on this ride with us. We love you all!**


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